I got this idea last night and it wouldn't let go until I'd written it. C&C (and flames) welcome! ================================================== In Tendou Pond by David Eddy A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2. The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the property of Takahashi Rumiko and her licencees. "Nihao, Ranma! Shampoo bring dinner for husband!" Kasumi looked up from her seat at the dining table. The shoji and outer doors were thrown wide open to catch any passing breeze. A fan struggled against the humid air in the corner. "Oh! Shampoo!" she said. "I'm afraid Ranma isn't here at the moment." "Shampoo make ramen for husband, extra-special deluxe. What Shampoo do with ramen if husband not here?" "I'll give it to him later if you like?" Shampoo frowned for a moment, then handed over a covered bowl. "You give only to him?" "No one else will get it." "I leave with you then." Nabiki came down the stairs to see Kasumi kneeling at the table looking uncertainly at a bowl of takeaway ramen. "Did you order ramen, oneechan?" asked Nabiki. Kasumi looked up. "Hello, Nabiki. Shampoo just dropped this off for Ranma." "Is it just for him?" "So she said." Without hesitating, Nabiki grabbed the bowl and tossed it, ramen and all, into the pond outside. The cover fell off the bowl as it hit the water and she stood, hands on hips, as the bowl sank quickly out of sight. Odd bits of garnish floated on the water. "Why did you do that, Nabiki? I promised Shampoo I'd give it to nobody but Ranma." "It's far better that the fish get drugged than Ranma. Do you have any idea how much it costs when he and Akane fight in the house?" "Shampoo doesn't drug her food!" Kasumi looked slightly scandalised. "Oh, and I suppose the passion spice was our imagination, was it?" "Well, once then." "Anyway, it doesn't matter. Even if it wasn't drugged Ranma'd just scoff it down and Akane'd challenge him about her cooking and they'd fight anyway. I've saved us all a lot of trouble this way." The sound of shouting young voices came from the street. The gate slammed open and Akane stalked through it. Ranma followed, his face set. "All I said was that I thought that Kazuko was pretty! Whoever drew her knew what they were doing!" "And I said she was too skinny and had funny eyes!" "She's *meant* to have funny eyes! That's part of the story!" Akane stalked into the house. Ranma settled in a kind of half-sit half-squat position on a rock by the pond. "Did you enjoy the movie, you two?" asked Kasumi cheerily. "It was fine. Ranma was impossible!" "Just because I thought Kazuko was a pretty good fighter..." Akane stalked over to stand over Ranma. "You *said* she was twice as fast as me, almost quick enough to be a *real* fighter!" "Yeah. So? What's your point, you slow, uncute girl?!" "I'll show you who's slow!!" Akane formed her left hand into a sword shape and thrust it at the top of Ranma's breastbone. Caught completely off guard, he missed the block and she knocked him off balance. Grabbing frantically, Ranma latched onto her hand with his right hand and pulled in an effort to stay out of the water. Regrettably he was heavier than Akane and she went in with him. Ranma and Akane's heads broke the surface together. Simultaneously they spat out some pond water. They looked about to launch into each other again when they stopped... and stared into each other's eyes. Kasumi smiled at the scene. "Ahhh... at last," she said. In the pond, Ranma (now in female form) and Akane had moved closer to one another, lost in the contemplation of each other's faces. Their heads moved together. They kissed. Their arms went around each other as the kiss deepened. "I guess the ramen was drugged after all," said Nabiki, shaking her head. In the pond, the happy couple broke their kiss. "I love you, Akane- chan," said Ranma. "I love you, Ranma-chan," said Akane. They started to kiss again, their hands wandering over each other's backs slowly but somehow urgently. "That's not it at all, Nabiki," said Kasumi, smiling at the scene unfolding before them. "When a couple fall into this pond holding hands, their true feelings for each other will be revealed." Nabiki stared at Kasumi, her gaze torn away from the passionate pair in the pond by the outrageous pronouncement. "Wha... what on earth are you talking about?!" "Mother told me about it before she died." "But what about Shampoo's ramen?" Kasumi smiled. "That must have been a red herring. This is after all a *koi* pond." * * * FIN * * * You may now face-fault. Cheezy, wasn't it? For those who don't know, "koi" is both a kind of fish and a word meaning "romantic love". I make no apologies for this dreadful pun. Bring on the flame throwers! Do your worst! I dare ya!! Hahahahahaha!! (For those who missed it, I counted two puns in the title too. Yatta! Hahahaha!!) Ahem. :-) :-) :-)