Ranma 1/2 Presents: Shampoo 1/2 Chapter 5 Of Spatulas and Men Standard disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, nor pretend to. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to. Remember Ranma is good food. An alternate universe. (Some of what's gone on before. In the beginning, the Saotome's traveled to Jusenkyou and started to spar not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a dual there. One mid-air collision and dunking in Spring of Drowned Young Man later we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. [Ranma-kun/Ranma= Male. Ranma-chan= female. Shampoo/Shampoo-chan= female. Shampoo-kun= male.] Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma. Upon arrival, in a case of mistaken identity, she was briefly engaged to Kasumi. Once that was sorted out Ranma became engaged to Akane. On the first day of school, confusion and water mixed, and everyone there now believes Ranma-chan is Shampoo and Shampoo-kun is Ranma. Worse yet, Nabiki informed the female student body that all they needed to do to date the "Handsome Ranma" was defeat him in combat. [Sound familiar?] Since then, encounters and battles with Ryouga, Kodachi, cheerleaders, and others too numerous to mention have occurred. At the end of last chapter, a certain somebody at an all boy's school heard about the antics of one "Ranma Saotome" and has become very interested in settling an old score...) As always, any C+C (flames included) would be appreciated. sommer@nb.net. For previous chapters just ask at sommer@nb.net I'll be more than happy to provide. The scene opens in the Tendo's backyard. It is late at night. We see a fire burning in the center of the yard. Gathered around it in clockwise order are: Kasumi, Soun, Nabiki, Genma, Ranma-kun, and Shampoo-chan. All look grim, their faces set in deadly earnest. They are watching the figure, in the center next to the fire, Akane. Her hair is cut short now. She is wearing a gi and sitting in cross-legged fashion, looking intently into fire. There is something in the center of the fire which we cannot quite make out. Ranma: (Dead Serious) You had better not fail this time. Shampoo: (Dead Serious) Aiya. Consequences could be dire. Genma: (Dead Serious)This is what martial arts are all about. Soun: (Dead Serious) Show me that my training was not in vain. Nabiki: (Dead Serious) I got money riding on you. Kasumi: (Dead Serious) There are some cookies waiting for you after you're finished. Everyone else facefaults. Everyone gets back up. Akane continues to stare at the fire. Ranma: (Barks an order) Do it! Or run away. I really don't care. Akane scowls at Ranma, then looks back into the fire. Finally she takes a deep breath closes her eyes in concentration. Finally she looks back into the fire and shouts. Akane: KACHU-TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN. We see her hand whip into the fire at blinding speed. She finishes in less than a second. She looks down at her closed fist. She slowly opens it up. In the center of her palm are a dozen chestnuts. Everyone celebrates. Ranma goes so far as to actually hug her for a second. He freezes up the moment he does this. He then holds her at arms length, and lets her go, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. Akane does likewise. Ranma: (To Akane) Anyway, good job. Soun and Genma are smiling and patting each other on the back, Kasumi looks warmly at her sister, Nabiki gives a warm, calculating look, and a small smile forms on Shampoo's lips after a brief moment. Akane: Let's go in and celebrate. Everyone goes inside and sits at the dinner table. Akane: I prepared a feast for everyone. She plops down an unrecognizable dish. Everyone's eyes bug out. Nabiki: (Annoyed) I thought this was a cause for celebration. Shampoo: (To Kasumi) Why you let Akane do this? Kasumi: She insisted. She was so confident she would master the technique today I didn't want to spoil her mood. Genma: This seems a high price to pay for martial arts. Soun: (Crying) Oh, if my little girl has mastered the Chestnut Fist, perhaps she has mastered cooking as well. The only one who remains silent is Ranma. All eyes turn towards him. He is looking at the table and the food. He slowly gets up without looking at anyone. He goes out into the hallway and picks up the phone. He dials a number and waits for a moment. Ranma: Hello? This is the Tendo residence. (Pauses) Yes, she's at it again. (Pauses) You'll send someone over right away? Thank you. It's nice to know you guys are so understanding. (Pauses) You take care too. Bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Akane: (Bewildered) Who was that? Ranma: (Exasperated) It was the haz-mat (Hazardous Materials) disposal people of course. Look, Akane, we can't just leave your food laying around. Someone might eat it, and then there is no telling what might happen. Akane: (Aura glowing. Her hand forming a fist) I can tell you exactly what will happen. We are shown an exterior shot of the house. We hear the words "RANMA NO BAKA!" followed by Ranma shooting through a wall at about cruise missile speed and landing out of sight of the house. Much later, he eventually manages to come home using a tree branch as a makeshift crutch. The haz-mat people are just finishing up They are in bio-hazard suits and two of them are carrying a large metal case, with warning placards on it, from the Tendo house to the van. One of them waves at Ranma. Toxic Waste Technician (TWT) #1: How's it going Ranma? Did Akane hit you through the wall again? TWT #2: I had a bet that you landed in Nerima. TWT #3: I bet you landed outside it. So who won? Ranma: Tetsuo (TWT #2) did. I landed about a half mile within Nerima, at least. She was in a good mood tonight. Thanks again for being so prompt. TWT #1: Hey, we're used to it. You're our most reliable customer. See you later. (He starts humming: "When She Gets That Cooking Feeling Again." They pack up and drive off.) Ranma: (Watching the departing van.) There go some nice people. Ranma enters the house. We see a figure detach itself from the shadows from a rooftop across the street. It is Ukyou with a giant spatula slung across his back. Ukyou: They called him Ranma, but I didn't get a good look at him. (Sighs) I guess I had better wait until school tomorrow. The next day at school Akane, Ranma-chan, and Shampoo-kun arrive at their homeroom. They sit down and look towards the front of the room where Godai-Sensei is standing with a new student. It appears to be a boy, dressed in a black uniform with a bandoleer of mini-spatulas on his chest, a giant spatula on his back and a small portable stove in front of him. Godai-sensei: Class. Meet our new student, Ukyou Kuonji. Ukyou bows before the class. Ranma-chan: (Muttering to self.) No way. It can't be. Ukyou: Witness the prowess of a master of okonomiyaki. Ukyou moves at blinding speed, cooking, then tossing okonomiyaki to everyone in the class. Akane: (Biting down on hers) Hey, this is pretty good. Ranma-chan: (Shouting out gleefully) It is! It is Ucchan! Ranma-chan jumps up and rushes across the room. She is about to embrace Ukyou when she is stopped dead in her tracks by a giant spatula. Ukyou: Do I know you Miss? Ranma-chan: Sure Ucchan. It's me, RanAKK. (She is struck in the top of the head by Akane's elbow.) Akane: (Leaving the elbow on top of Ranma-chan's head.) My, my, SHAMPOO, aren't we being too friendly with RANMA'S acquaintances. (Twists her elbow to emphasize the last part.) Ranma-chan: (Understanding) Right. Ranma's friends. Ukyou: You know Ranma? Ranma-chan: Oh yeah. He's right over there. (Points to Shampoo-kun.) We are like that. (Twists two fingers together.) There aren't any secrets we keep from one another. Every girl in the class suddenly gets a homicidal glare in their eye. They rush over surrounding Ranma-chan. Girl #1: And just what do you mean by, "We are like that?" Girl #2: No secrets from one another? Girl #3: (Shaking her fist) Shampoo, is there something you want to tell us about your relationship with Ranma? Girl #4: And for your sake it better be good. Ranma-chan: (Warding them off with her hands.) We're just friends. Honest. Nothing going on there. Friends, Bosom buddies. (Auras start glowing) Scratch that. We aren't even that close. Just casual acquaintances. (Pleading) I really don't want things to get violent. The girls appear somewhat satiated and return to their seats. Most still stare daggers at Ranma-chan. Ukyou: And what did Ranma tell you about me? Ranma-chan: (Perking up) He told me everything. About how you were one of the few friends he had growing up. How you used to make okonomiyaki for him. How you used to mock fight with him. (Suddenly sounds sad.) How he had to leave suddenly one day. He was real sorry about that. Ukyou's harsh look faded away when Ranma-chan first started reminiscing. He started to look happy until he got to the part about leaving. Then the harsh stare returns. Ukyou: Typical. He lied about the "departure." Ranma-chan: (Shocked) I didn't forget anything. Pop and me were leaving and you were chasing AHKKK. (Akane has started choking Ranma-chan.) Akane: WHO WAS LEAVING? All the girls in the class notice the faux pas as well. Girl #1: How dare she call Mr. Saotome, Pop. Girl #2: She makes it sound like they are already married. Girl #3: I knew she was lying. Akane releases her grip. Ranma-chan: Geez Akane. You don't have to choke so hard. (Continuing) MR. SAOTOME and RANMA were leaving and you were chasing him down the street. RANMA was sitting on top of the yatai as he saw you running and calling out his name. He waved at you until you were out of sight. He was really sad. Ukyou: And did he tell you what kind of a yatai it was? Ranma-chan: Sure it was the oko...wait a minute. We didn't have an okonomiyaki yatai. Akane hits Ranma-chan in the back of the head. Ranma-chan: RANMA, RANMA didn't have a yatai. You did. Why did we...I mean they, have your cart? Ukyou: It was part of the deal. Ranma-chan: What deal? Ukyou: The deal to take me along. Ranma-chan: Why were you supposed to go with us...THEM? (Corrects herself just in time. Akane was an inch away with the fist.) Ukyou: That is between Ranma and me. (He turns toward Shampoo-kun. He makes a special okonomiyaki and throws it. Shampoo-kun snags it out of mid-air.) Ranma, I challenge you to a dual. Later today, after class. (He leaps out a window.) Shampoo-kun just looks at the challenge written on the okonomiyaki. Akane looks accusingly at Ranma-chan. Ranma-chan looks shell-shocked. Godai-sensai: (Eating some of the okonomiyaki) That was even weirder than most of the things that go on at home. Wonder if a can get the recipe of this stuff for Kyoko. After school behind the gym we see a ring has been set up by Ukyou already. Half the school, including Godai-sensai, is gathered to watch the fight. Many of the girls are looking at Ranma-chan as though they want to claw her eyes out. Word from the mornings events has traveled fast. Godai-sensai goes over to Shampoo-kun. Godai-sensai: I don't know what happened in your past Ranma. But try to go easy on him, he is a new student. Shampoo-kun leaps into the ring in school uniform and with bonboris in hand. Ukyou looks him over and fully appreciates him for the first time. A look of sadness is in his eyes for the briefest of moments. It quickly passes. Ukyou: I see you came prepared. For what you did to me Ranma Saotome, you are going to pay. (Gets into a battle stance, spatula drawn.) Shampoo-kun: Am ready. (Holds bonboris up ready for the attack.) Ranma-chan: (Pleading) Isn't there some way to call this off Ucchan? Ukyou: NO! And don't call me Ucchan. Only Ranma could call me that, and he lost that right a long time ago. Shampoo-kun: Fine. Call Stupid Spatula Boy. Now fight. Ukyou charges with his giant spatula. His first two strikes are blocked. Shampoo-kun delivers a glancing blow with a bonbori. Ukyou leaps back and kicks one of the pots filled with a batter and rubber cement mixture towards Shampoo-kun. He bats it back with a bonbori. Ukyou deftly jumps over the returning jar and hurls a volley of mini spatulas at Shampoo-kun. He leaps back out of the way and lands on the edge of the ring, only to discover it is a very hot, non-stick cooking surface. Shampoo-kun jumps back into the center of the ring after the hot foot. Akane: Ukyou's fighting for real. Ranma-chan: (A look of depression in her face.) I know. I can't figure out why he is so angry with me. Ukyou continues his assault. He hurls another volley of mini spatulas at Shampoo-kun then sweeps in with the giant spatula once again. He connects solidly with the shoulder and causes Shampoo-kun to drop one of his bonbori. Ukyou picks up the mace with his spatula and tosses it into one of the jars of cement. He comes in a second time with his spatula but is struck in the chest by Shampoo-kun's foot before he can deliver a blow. He raises his spatula to strike again but Shampoo-kun blocks this with the bonbori. This has allowed the Amazon to move in close. Shampoo-kun: KACHU-TENSHIN AMAGURIKAN! Ukyou sees the blurring fist in front of him and backs up. He reaches for some mini spatulas but realizes there are none in his bandoleer. He sees Shampoo-kun grinning, several mini spatulas in hand and the others on the ground. Ukyou pulls a bag of flour from his shirt and hurls it at Shampoo-kun. He disappears in the fog. Ukyou: Time to finish it. He grabs a bowl full of noodles with the tensile strength of steel. He whips the noodles into the fog and feels them catch on something. He pulls back on the noodles to tighten their grip. The flour fog finally parts and we see that Shampoo-kun is standing there with the noodles clutched in one hand. Ukyou is shocked. Shampoo-kun: Ha! Ranma know noodle trick. Shampoo-kun pulls back on the noodles and whips Ukyou into him. He then grabs the warrior/cook into a bear hug, pinning his arms. Ukyou desperately tries to get out of the hold, but to no avail. Shampoo-kun in his male form is far more powerful. Ranma-chan: It's over. As Shampoo-kun tightens his grip his eyes suddenly grow large in surprise. He nudges one of the fallen mini-spatulas into the air with his foot. At the height of the arc he releases Ukyou and pushes him slightly away. He snatches the mini-spatula in mid-air and slashes downward with it, cutting open Ukyou's uniform and the wrap she wears that hides her breasts. Everything comes out for all to behold. Everyone is stunned, even Shampoo-kun who suspected the truth. Ukyou quickly pulls the uniform over her chest as best she can with one hand. (Writer's note: Henceforth, Ukyou will be openly acknowledged as a girl.) Ukyou: (Tearfully to Shampoo-kun.) YOU JERK! She slaps him with her free hand, then starts leaping from rooftop to rooftop trying to get away as quickly as she can. Shampoo-kun stands in the middle of the ring, watching the cook's retreating form. Shampoo-kun: Shampoo think she say something make Spatula Girl feel better, but not know what. Akane: (To Ranma-chan) I thought you said she was a he. Ranma-chan: He was. I don't...(a light suddenly comes on in her head.) Of course. He must have fallen in naniichaun, like me, poor guy. We gotta find him and let him know he ain't alone. I owe him that much at least. The scene cuts to a fleeing Ukyou. Tears fill her eyes as she jumps from the rooftops to the ground. She is crying so hard she can't see where she is running. Ukyou: I can't believe he did that, the jerk. How could he, in front of everybody? I am so humiliated. He's ruined my life not once, but twice now. I HATE YOU RANMA!!! It is at this point that Ukyou runs into a brick wall and falls down. Actually, it just feels like a brick wall, it is in fact Ryouga Hibiki, who is a lot more solid than most brick walls. Ryouga: What the... He registers the impact and looks down to see Ukyou on the pavement. He also notices that her hand has fallen away from her uniform and she is, once again, showing off her wares. Ryouga moans and turns away as fast as he can. He is staring up to the sky in a desperate attempt to pretend he did not see what he just saw. He feels the blood starts to rush to his nose and feels lightheaded, the harbinger to passing out due to the embarrassment, when his mind manages to lock onto something that cuts through the haze. Ryouga: (To self) She said Ranma. He slowly turns around in an effort to give Ukyou as much time as she can to cover up. He sees that she has indeed closed her uniform up and is sniffling on the ground. Ryouga: (Still flush with embarrassment) Excuse me Miss. Did you say Ranma? As in Ranma Saotome? Ukyou: (Still sniffling) Yes. Why? Ryouga: I know him, unfortunately. Is he responsible for making you cry? (Ukyou just nods her head.) I knew it. Only a dog such as him would make pretty young lady such as yourself cry. Ukyou: (Stops sniffling for a moment and thinks.) He said I was...pretty? (She looks more closely at him.) How do you know Ranma? He gives her the ducking out of a fight and chasing him across the world story. She looks sympathetically to him. Suddenly, he asks her a question. Ryouga: What did the Ranma you fought look like? (She describes Shampoo-kun.) So you fought the stand in. (He explains the fights he was involved in with Ranma. She is not pleased.) Ukyou: So that jackass even worms his way out of his own fights. That means I owe that stand in some lumps for what he did to me. Ryouga: Let's work together. After all, there's two of them, and if we fight them together we would stand a better chance of getting the real Ranma. Ukyou agrees and walks off with Ryouga to start making plans. Eventually she realizes he is taking them to Hokkaido, so she leads him to her place. We cut to the Tendo Dojo where Ranma-kun tells his father the details of what happened today. Ranma: So why did Ukyou think we were going to take him along? Genma: (Sweating bullets) I really have no idea. Ranma: (Suspiciously) Pop, you're holding out. Genma: The truth would hurt to much to tell boy. Just try to help the poor girl...I mean boy out. But try not to believe anything she...I mean he might say. The truth has no doubt been twisted in his mind. Ranma: O.K. (To self) He's holding out all right. I just wish I could find out. Beating it out of him probably won't work, even though it would be fun trying. Guess I'll just have to confront Ucchan. Ranma vows to confront Ukyou at school the next day, but she does not show. Godai-sensai is not happy with Shampoo-kun and let's him know about it. Godai-sensai: I don't approve of this situation. You should have been more gentle with him...I mean her. I want to get this situation resolved. Here is his...her address. Go try to make peace. And don't cut open his....arrgh, her top this time. (Shampoo-kun takes the paper with the address on it. Godai then buries his head on the desk.) These guys are starting to rival those bakas I call neighbors as far as insanity goes. And I thought this job was going to be easy. We see Shampoo-kun, Ranma-chan, and Akane leaving school to go to the address they were given. About halfway there they are set upon by none other than the object of their quest and her newfound partner. The newly made duo leap down from a rooftop to land next to their targets. They are ready for battle. Ranma-chan nods to Akane who runs off into one of the stores. Ranma-chan: What are you doing here Ryouga? This doesn't involve you. Ryouga: I disagree, whatever your name is. This does involve me. Ranma hurt this poor girl and myself. He has a well deserved beating coming. Now tell us. Where is the real Ranma Saotome? Ranma-chan: Closer than you think. Why don't you get lost somewhere and let us explain everything to Ukyou? Ukyou: What do you mean? Ranma-chan: I know your secret. Ukyou: (Dumbfounded) Of course you do. Everyone knows the secret. That (points to Shampoo-kun) jackass let everyone know. And he is going to pay. (She holds her combat spatula at the ready.) Shampoo-kun pulls his bonbori out. Ranma-chan tries to defuse the situation. Ranma-chan: (To Ukyou) I don't mean that one. I mean the OTHER one. Ukyou: (Horribly confused.) I have no idea what you are talking about. Ranma-chan: I don't want to do it in front of him (pointing to Ryouga), it might embarrass you. Ukyou: You're just trying to trick me. Show us the real Ranma, and don't try to pass off this worthless piece of crud as him again either. She indicates Shampoo-kun again, who does not appreciate the comparison. It is at this moment that Akane reappears with a kettle of hot water. She hands it to Ranma-chan. Ranma-chan: If I can't do this any other way, then I guess I have no choice. She hurls the contents at Ukyou who backs away to avoid the hot water. Just as it is about to hit her Ryouga throws his opened umbrella to block the stream. The umbrella returns to his hand. Ryouga: I don't know what you think you're doing, but I will not let you harm one hair on her head. She has had far more misery than any two people should have, and I will protect her with my life if necessary. Ukyou looks stunned at Ryouga. Ukyou: (Thinks) No one has ever talked about me that way before. And why do I feel so strange when he says something like that? Ryouga: (Thinks) Why was she trying to...no way. They couldn't know about that. Could they? (Out loud) Take us to Ranma now, or else! Ranma-chan: If that's the way you want it, then fine. (Ranma-chan leaps to attack Ryouga.) Ryouga: (Backing away) I don't like to fight girls, but you leave me no choice. (He throws a punch.) Shampoo-kun goes to help Ranma but is cut off by a spatula thrust. Ukyou: I still owe you one for yesterday. (She starts attacking Shampoo-kun.) Akane grabs the kettle and goes back inside the store. Akane: Those guys are never going to get things settled at this rate. I swear I am the only one with brains around here. We see Ryouga is holding back in his fight with Ranma-chan and is suffering for it. Ranma-chan is raining blows on him from every position. Try as he, might she is too fast for him to connect even once. Ryouga: (Thinks) This is absurd. I am never going to get close to Ranma if I can't even beat one lousy girl. The battle between Ukyou and Shampoo-kun is a little more even, since Ukyou is doubly enraged at her target after yesterdays events. Shampoo-kun is escalating his level of force as the battle progresses, however. Shampoo-kun turns to see Ranma-chan has made a mistake and is being driven into a corner where her speed will not be as much a factor. He can tell by the way Ranma-chan is moving that she is paying more attention to tormenting Ryouga then to where she is. Ukyou is bringing her spatula in an overhead swipe when Shampoo-kun uses a move similar to what Kodachi used against him. He jumps in the air and uses the spatula's head as a springboard to vault over to where Ranma-chan is. He sees Ranma-chan has just discovered she has run out of room when Ryouga brings his umbrella back for a clubbing blow. Shampoo-kun lands behind Ryouga and grabs onto the tip of the umbrella in an effort to keep it from descending. It turns out to be a bad choice as the more powerful Ryouga simply applies sufficient force to bring Shampoo-kun over with the blow. It does give Ranma-chan an opportunity to get out of the way. She decides to use Ryouga's head for added force in a leap over him. As she clears his noggin she sees Ukyou is running in pursuit of Shampoo-kun, who is landing rather painfully on his rear end as a result of Ryouga's actions. It is at this moment that Akane shows up with another kettle of warm water. She throws it in the air for Ranma-chan, who snatches it and proceeds to pour the contents over Ukyou. Ryouga tries to use his umbrella to intervene, but Shampoo-kun has held onto the weapon, thereby preventing the attempted save. The water splashes on top of Ukyou's head. Ranma-chan lands next to the doused cook. Ranma-chan: And now, the truth for all to see. (He tears open Ukyou's uniform to reveal, breasts.) What the he...(The rest is cut off by the giant spatula that has found its way onto Ranma-chan's head.) Ukyou: (Crying again.) What are you? Some kind of pervert too? Akane: What is going on here? Ranma I thought you said Ukyou was a boy! Ranma-chan: (Holding her head) He was. I don't understand. Ryouga abandons his umbrella and rushes over to Ukyou's side to protect her. She is too angry to require protection. Ukyou: (Yelling) What kind of stupid statement is that, and why are you calling her Ranma? Ranma-chan: Here, let me show you. (He dumps some of the hot water in the kettle over his head. One Ranma-kun later, Ukyou and Ryouga stand with their mouths open. Ukyou: (Pointing) You... just... changed... into... a... GUY! Akane: (Sarcastically) Gee Ranma. Ukyou looks a little stunned for someone who was suffering from the same thing you are. Ranma-kun: (To Ukyou) It's me Ranma Saotome. I fell into one of the cursed springs of Jusenkyou. So did Shampoo over there (He tosses the remaining water to Shampoo-kun who changes). I thought you did too. Ukyou: (Still in shock.) No. Why would you think that...Ranma? (She is asking if he is Ranma as much as she is asking him the why.) Ranma: Because you were a boy when we were little. I guess you got one of those sex change things though, huh? Ukyou: (Angrily) Of course not you baka! I've always been a girl. Why else do you think our fathers engaged us? Ranma: (His turn to be shocked) Always...girl...fathers...ENGAGED? Ukyou: You mean to tell me you didn't know I was a girl? (Ranma shakes his head.) Did you know about the engagement? (Again shakes head.) That explains a lot. Ranma: I don't understand. Ukyou: When we were little my father was raising me by himself. We wandered around a lot and I didn't really make a lot of friends. (Ranma nods his head, sympathizing.) Anyway I met you and we hit it off real well. Daddy was worried that, in being raised by a guy, I wouldn't be very feminine and he thought I might not ever marry. So he offered to engage me to you. Your dad resisted at first, but when my father offered to throw in our yatai as a dowry, he relented. Then, after getting the yatai, you guys took off without me. (She starts sounding depressed.) Everyone knew I got dumped and made fun of me. I vowed never to become a woman. To that end I behaved just as a man would. I dressed, talked, and sounded like one. I also practiced the art of okonomiyaki combat until I could have revenge. (Her shoulders slump) Now I learn that my fiancee didn't even know I was a girl, I got humiliated in front of the school, and my whole life has been one cruel joke. (She begins crying.) Ranma: (Waving his fist) Pop is so dead. Genma: (Suddenly appearing) You can't stick this one on me boy. You were the one who made the choice. Ranma: What do you mean? Genma: I asked you point blank which you preferred, Ukyou or okonomiyaki. You chose okonomiyaki. See. It is not my fault. Shampoo-chan, Ukyou, Ranma-kun, and Akane all bury their fists in Genma's head. Ranma: (Yelling) I was, what, six at the most and thought Ukyou was a guy. What kind of decision could I make? You were the one that did it for food. Akane: (Also yelling) After you promised he would be engaged to someone in my family. Shampoo-chan: That low Pop. Ukyou: This is all your fault old man. Ryouga has remained silent up until now. We see a battle aura has built up around him. Ryouga: This is all YOUR fault Ranma. If you had picked Ukyou, she would never have been hurt. Now you will pay. He throws a bandanna at Ranma who ducks out of the way. It slices through a fire hydrant directly in front of Ryouga. He goes to use his umbrella to block the stream when he realizes he left it behind. He is sprayed directly in the face by the cold fountain of water. As the flow subsides we see that there is a bat floundering in the middle of the street. Ranma: So that's what happened when he kept disappearing. He must have fallen into Jusenkyou too. No wonder he kept disappearing whenever he got doused with water. Poor guy. It at this point that Ryouga flies up and attaches himself to Ranma's face. Ranma: Get this thing off of me. Kunou: (Appearing out of nowhere.) Allow me to assist you, brother of my beloved Shampoo. He swings his bokkan at the bat attached to Ranma's face. As usual, the bat gets out of the way, Ranma does not. Ranma: (Picking himself off the ground.) You baka. (He punches Kunoe very far away.) Kunou: Wait! I did not give you these wonderful flowers to give to my soulmate, your sister. Ranma: Where the heck did he come from anyway? Ukyou is standing, there watching Ryouga land next to her. Ukyou: (Picking up Ryouga) Ranma. Can you help Ryouga? Please. She pleads with Ranma, who cannot refuse his old friend in need. He grabs the remaining hot water and pours it on Ryouga. He changes in Ukyou's arms who collapses under the sudden weight shift. She gets up and realizes Ryouga is in the in buff. Ryouga: (Grabbing his clothes.) Make sure I am in my clothes when you do that. (He dresses in a flash.) Ranma: So, tell us what happened, Batboy. Ryouga scowls at Ranma. Then decides to share his full story with the others. Ryouga: (To everyone.) Everything I told you was true. I just left out the fact that I stumbled into the training grounds of Jusenkyou while in my search for Ranma. I remember the day very well...(Flashback officially begins.) We see Ryouga emerging from some shrubs, looking around trying to get his bearings and mumbling about how this is not Tokyo either. We see he is at the edge of the training grounds right above a pool. He notices a shadow looming over him. He looks up in time to see a multi-colored ball with a handle on the end land on his face just as he looks up. The blow stuns him and he falls into the pool below him. Out comes a bat. (Flashback ends.) Ryouga: ...and that is how I lost my manhood. Shampoo-chan listens to the story, looks at her bonbori, and quickly puts them behind her back so no one can see them. She tries to look nonchalant by looking up in the sky and whistling. Ranma: Turning into an animal is pretty tough, huh? Ryouga: (Sadly) You don't know the half of it. Ranma: Why did you keep flying into my face though? Ryouga: It's weird. I think my echolocation system confuses my lack of direction sense. Instead of getting lost, I always get to where I'm going. I even tried to get lost once as a bat, but still I flew in the right direction. Ranma: Then why did you take so long to find me? Ryouga: (Yelling at Ranma) Because you fool, I despise being stripped of my humanity. Besides, no one likes bats. People are always trying to knock you out of the air, scream in terror, or exterminate you. And do you know how difficult it is to find hot water as a bat? Now if I was some kind of cute animal, like an otter or piglet, it would be different. Ranma: Well it ain't my fault that happened to you. Ryouga: I was looking for you at the time so it is. The two start arguing when Ukyou realizes Shampoo is drawing attention to herself by trying to act nonchalant. She walks behind Shampoo to take a closer look at the bonbori behind her back. Shampoo is still looking straight up in the air. Ukyou grabs one of the bonbori. Shampoo recovers too late. Ukyou: (Showing the bonbori to Ryouga.) Did that ball look something like this? (She hands him the item.) Ryouga: (Holding it above his head, he drops it on top of his head. Thump.) Yes, It felt exactly like it. (Looks at Shampoo.) Is this yours? (She hesitantly nods her head.) And you are really a girl? (She nods her head again.) Great. I can't beat up a girl. So much for revenge.(He tosses the mace to the ground.) Ranma: Well now that that's settled let's call it a day. I tell you what, I will even pay for some food. What do you say? (Ranma barely ducks out of the way of Ryouga's fist.) What are you doing? Ryouga: Just because I no longer have a grudge against you doesn't mean you get off that easily. There is still the matter of you hurting Ukyou. She may be too much of a lady to beat you up, but I am not. Ranma: But that wasn't my fault! Ryouga: No excuses! Fall Saotome! (Swings again. Ranma high tails it out of there. Ryouga pursues.) Shampoo: (Watching the retreating forms and speaking to Ukyou) Boys fight over silly things. Yes? (She barely avoids a spatula thrust at her.) What you doing? Ukyou: Just because I no longer have a grudge against you doesn't mean you get off that easily. There is still the matter of you hurting Ryouga. He may be too much of a gentleman to beat you up, but I am not. Shampoo: But that not Shampoo fault! Ukyou: No excuses! Fall Shampoo! (Swings again. Shampoo high tails it out of there. Ukyou pursues.) Akane is left standing alone, with only an unconscious Genma as her companion. Akane: Those guys have all the fun and I have to clean up the mess. (She sneezes.) Someone must be talking about me. (She grabs the back of Genma's collar and drags him home.) Epilogue The scene shifts to the interior of a theater. A man wearing a black hat, black cape with red interior, stylish black suit, and a half mask over the upper part of his face is looking over the stage. We see the word director is in white lettering on the back of his cape. The man's voice booms out dramatically from the PA system. Director: Soon the show will begin. HAHAHAHAHA! (Maniacal laughter.) End Notes: I couldn't resist giving Ryouga a direction sense, albeit, one he is reluctant to use. As to why he ended up in a pool different form that of drowned black piglet, he just popped his head out a little earlier than in the mainstream, and got knocked into a different pool. Now all of the main characters have been reintroduced. Time to go on to the next part of the story. Oh, and you may have noticed Ranma apparently has no real fiancee problems. So that would mean he and Akane should have no problems with their engagement. Unless...maybe... perhaps...no fiancees actually makes things worse.