Ranma 1/2: Presents Shampoo 1/2 Chapter 3 The Hunters Standard Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They belong to the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she leased the rights to. Buy Ranma stuff. Not only is it low in calories but it can take care of that annoying money people keep giving you for work. Remember, Ranma is good food. (What's gone on before: In the beginning, Ranma and Genma traveled to Jusenkyou for the first time and started to spar, not realizing a dual was already occurring between Shampoo and Mousse. One mid-air collision and dunking in spring of young drowned man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. So Ranma-kun/Ranma= Male. Ranma-chan= female Shampoo-chan/Shampoo= female. Shampoo-kun= male. Enjoy.) Hunt 1 Ryouga: Vengeance The scene opens with Akane, Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun coming back from school. As usual, the trio is looking around in paranoid fashion just waiting to be jumped by female students, demented cheerleaders, or Kunous'. The ambush is somewhat different this day. Ranma-chan: I think I'll try a spin kick into Kunou's head tomorrow since it's my turn. I haven't unloaded that one in a while. At this point a bat flies into Ranma-chan's face again. Ranma-chan: Get it off me! Shampoo-kun: Shampoo get it. (She whips out a bonbori. Once again the bat gets out of the way but Ranma's face does not. The bat flies off) Ranma-chan: Ouch. Whad'ya do that for? You're about as accurate as Akane. Shampoo-kun: Shampoo sorry. Ranma-kun: (Calms down) That's all right. Akane: (Irate) Why didn't you accept my apology when I hit you? Ranma-chan: (Irate right back) Because you didn't apologize. The argument continues until a whistling sound in the air leads them conclude they will not be disappointed from an ambush perspective this day. An umbrella comes sailing from around the corner. All three leap out of the way. The umbrella comes back to the sender's hand as he turns the corner. It is indeed Ryouga. Ryouga: (Now points towards Shampoo-kun) You really have no honor do you Ranma? Having women fight for you. How low can you be? If I had known you were such a coward, I might not have spent so many years tracking you down. Shampoo-kun: (In an aggressive stance) You talk or you fight? As both contestants get ready to brawl we see Ranma-chan has been growing angrier and angrier with each statement Ryouga has made. This has not gone unnoticed by Akane. Akane: Ranma, what are you... Ranma-chan: (Cutting her off) He's right. He wants me, not her. I am having someone else fight my fight. And... I...can't...take...it...any...more. (The last is said through gritted teeth.) Shampoo-kun and Ryouga start fighting when Ranma-chan walks off around the corner to look for some hot water. He is surprised to find a kettle sitting on the ground. Most of the water in it is gone, but there is still a little remaining in the bottom, just enough to trigger the change. After using it he runs back to the fight. Neither combatant has landed a serious blow yet. Ranma-kun: Stop! (Both fighters stop.) I'm the Ranma you're looking for pal. Ryouga: (Suspiciously) You look like the Ranma I know, but everyone says this is Ranma. (Points to Shampoo-kun) Ranma: I'm Ranma Saotome. Now who are you and why do you want to kill me? Ryouga: (Decides this is indeed the real Ranma) Remember the bread you fool? Ranma: Bread? (Thinks) Bread? Bread? Bread! (Out loud) No way! You can't be. Ryouga: Yes it can. Ryouga Hibiki. The boy you stole bread from every day for a year. The boy you ran out on a fight from. The boy who became a man who spent years tracking you down. Akane: (Incredulously) You ran out on a fight? Ranma: No way. I showed up and waited three days for that jerk to come. Ryouga: I arrived on the fourth day. Ranma: Since it was in a back lot two houses away from you, I figured you didn't show up. But even so, it's stupid to track someone down for years just over some bread and a stupid fight that didn't happen. Let's let bygone be bygones. How about I have Nabiki buy you some stock in a bread company? Ryouga: (Seething) It's not about bread anymore. It goes far beyond that. You destroyed my manhood. Ruined my life. Now prepare to die. Ryouga swings twice at Ranma. He dodges both blows and manages to strike Ryouga once in the stomach. He just stands there and smiles. Ranma: (Thinks) Talk about abs of steel. He's tough. Better not hold back against him. Ryouga throws two kicks that Ranma blocks. Ryouga leaves himself open for another midsection punch. Ranma applies more force and is happy to see this one has an effect as Ryouga exhales a little air. Ryouga draws his umbrella and attempts to connect with two quick jabs which Ranma easily ducks away from. Ranma: (Taunts) An umbrella has got to be the most stupid weapon I have ever seen. Famous last words. Ryouga gives a third thrust which Ranma moves his head to avoid. This time Ryouga opens the umbrella behind Ranma and uses it to pull the unsuspecting youth towards him. Ryouga then employs a headbutt when Ranma is close enough. Ranma places his hand on top of Ryouga's head and then springs up connecting with both knees to Ryouga's jaw. He jumps up onto a tree branch to give him some distance from the eternally lost one. Ryouga whips off one of his bandannas and twirls it around. Ranma: (Thinks) Now what's he up to? Ranma finds out as Ryouga looses the bandanna at the tree branch Ranma's on, severing it. Ranma is caught flat footed and drops like a rock. Just as he is about to hit the ground it's Ryouga's turn to connect with Ranma's jaw. Ranma goes sailing over a nearby wall. Ryouga follows and is in turn followed by Akane and Shampoo-kun. It turns out to be a wall bordering the zoo. Ranma runs through the panda pen, passing by four pandas drinking tea. They stare at him as he runs past. He jumps out of the pen and takes an offensive posture on one of the public trails. The umbrella comes out of the pen before Ryouga. Ranma dodges it but Ryouga is upon him as soon as he recovers the umbrella. Ryouga once again takes the offensive with umbrella thrusts. Ranma-kun: (Thinks) If only I could get that damn umbrella away from him this would be a whole lot easier. Ryouga once again tosses his umbrella at Ranma he jumps past it again. As he is in mid-air, Shampoo, as if reading his mind decides to lend a helping hand. Shampoo-kun: Here Ranma, catch. (Throws a bonbori to him) He catches the bonbori and hurls it at the returning umbrella, knocking it off its course to Ryouga's hand. Ryouga: You think that's going to save you? I don't need that to finish you. Ryouga then walks over to a tree and starts trying to lift up from the ground. Ranma-kun: (In disbelief.)Oh no! You've got to be kidding. With a supreme effort Ryouga manages to uproot the tree and starts swinging it at Ranma. Fortunately for Ranma, a tree is an unwieldy weapon at best. After two swings with it Ranma jumps onto the tree and runs along its length to Ryouga, whom he kicks in the head when he arrives. Ryouga drops the tree and Ranma presses the advantage. He tries leaping over Ryouga., but is snagged in midair. Ryouga grabs him by the waist while he is still in mid-air and powerbombs Ranma into the ground. Fortunately for Ranma, Ryouga lets go and starts to move back to survey the damage his opponent took. As soon as he starts to move back Ranma brings his knees up and drives the balls of his feet into Ryouga's face. Ranma then gets back to his feet and leaps backward into the air to get some distance so he has a chance to recover. Ryouga: You don't get away that easily. Ryouga hurls several bandannas at Ranma, who has no choice but to crash into the skylight of the building he is above. He lands on top of a steel beam which stretches across a huge water tank. Ryouga lands across from him a moment later. Ryouga: Nowhere to run now Ranma. Ranma-kun: You're asking for it pal. At that moment the occupant of the tank makes an appearance. A twenty eight foot fish leaps over the beam, between the two youths. Ranma: Oh great another... Ryouga: SHARK! (Panicked) Ranma I suggest a temporary truce. We get out of here then continue our fight. Ranma-kun: Agreed. Both youths are tensing to jump when the shark leaps again and hits the beam causing enough vibration to knock both of them into the water. Ranma-chan's head surfaces the water just in time to see the shark bearing down on her. Just as it is about to have a Saotome snack, a figure jumps down on the back of the shark striking it with a bonbori. It lifts its head up out of the water in pain just enough for Ranma-chan to grab on underneath its neck and out of the way of its jaws. It starts spinning around while swimming in a circle trying to dislodge its meals. Ranma-chan is starting to get really tired when she hears a voice yell down from above. Akane: Grab on to the chain. Akane is bent over the side, about twenty feet up, dangling a chain over the side. It is just long enough to touch the water. Ranma-chan: Shampoo! Jump first! I'll be (Pauses as she goes underwater and waits to resurface) right behind you. She sees Shampoo-kun jump from the shark's back onto the chain and starts scrambling up. As the shark passes by the chain again Ranma-chan jumps and grabs on to the bottom of the chain. She makes it up about ten feet when she starts to lose her grip due to wetness. Shampoo-kun grabs Ranma-chan by the collar just in time to see the shark make a leap at them. The leap will easily reach their height, and beyond. Luckily their momentum has caused the chain, and subsequently them, to rotate. The shark jumps past where they were a moment ago, missing them by inches. Ranma-chan: Why you! She lashes out with her teeth and bites a small chunk out of the dorsal fin. The shark lands back in the water with a gigantic splash. Ranma-chan: (Spitting out the chunk of fin.) I hate raw fish. Akane: (Straining) Quit horsing around and get up here. I can't hold this thing forever. Both skitter up the chain without further harassment. Once at the top everyone falls to the ground, exhausted. Akane: (Out of breath)You guys O.K.? Ranma-chan: (Also out of breath)You two saved my life. Thanks. Shampoo-kun: (Gasping) It no problem. Ranma-chan: (To Shampoo) I can't believe you jumped in there. It would'a had me for sure if you hadn't come when you did. (Realizes someone is missing.) Where's Ryouga? Akane: He never surfaced after you both went in. The trio stick their heads over the side to see if they can locate Ryouga, but to no avail. The tank is empty save for the shark. Akane: (Sadly) He must have been eaten. Ranma-chan: (Very sad) He didn't seem like a bad guy. Just misguided. Shampoo-kun gives a prayer for departing souls. All three turn and leave the aquarium. None of them see the small black object that detaches itself from Shampoo-kun's back. It lays there for a few moments, then shakes itself dry and flies off. Hunt 2 Cologne: The Path Fate Takes A few days later Shampoo-chan is shopping with Kasumi. They are in an open market buying food. Kasumi: Thank you for coming with me Shampoo. I rarely get company when I go shopping. Sometimes Nabiki will come along to check out prices or Akane will see if she can find something for one of her recipes. Shampoo: (Startled) She not do that recently, do she? Kasumi: No. I always try to give everyone a warning... (pauses) I mean notice when she does that.(Gives the gentle Kasumi smile). Shampoo: Is good to know beforehand when to eat out. They separate. Shampoo-chan goes around the corner to one of the other venders and see if they have what she is looking for. Shampoo: Shampoo wonder if Ranma like baked duck with special seasoning. Shampoo is lost in thought when she hears a voice that stops her dead in her tracks. Voice: (In chinese <>) Shampoo slowly turns around, terror in her eyes. Sure enough, it is exactly who she feared it was. Cologne. Shampoo: (Softly) Shampoo looks like a deer caught in headlights. She is motionless for a few seconds, then takes off at top speed. Cologne: (To self) She starts hopping on her staff. Shampoo is still running at top speed when she spots Kasumi and drags her off by the arm. She then grabs a glass of water off of a table at an open air café and runs down an alley. She dumps the water over her, instant Shampoo-kun. She then bends down and kisses Kasumi. Cologne comes to the mouth of the alley and spots the couple. Cologne: (Thinks) (Gets closer) (Sees what Shampoo-kun is doing with Kasumi.) (Looks around then hops off on her staff.) Shampoo-kun waits a full two minutes until he is sure that Cologne is gone, then breaks off the kiss. Kasumi: (Blushing furiously) Shampoo. I...I know you look like a man now, a handsome one I mean, but I can't do that sort of thing with...(trails off then continues) you know, a girl. Shampoo-kun: (Fearfully) Great Grandmother here. Kasumi thinks for a moment before realization sets in. Kasumi: Oh no! Later we see the two of them walking to the Tendo Dojo. Kasumi: (To self) ...and it wasn't as though she was really kissing me, she was just using me as camouflage. That makes forty eight reasons why I shouldn't feel bad about that kiss. (Inward sigh) This isn't working. The duo arrive before she can get to forty nine. Once inside Kasumi calls everyone together to the dining room. When everyone is seated the meeting is begun. Ranma-kun: This ain't about Akane trying to cook again, is it? I thought we settled that last time. Akane: (Adamant) I will not allow myself to be shipped off to America to learn from the Frugal Gourmet. Ranma: Well you don't expect us to try anything you make without some kind of professional training. That would be the same as making a group suicide pact. Ain't that right Pop? Genma: (Nodding head) I see little difference between the two. Akane: (Angrily) Who asked you? (Hits Genma in the head with her mallet.) Ranma: Besides everyone knows the only reason Kasumi lets you cook is so that she can use the leftovers to poison the rats. Akane: That's a lie. Kasumi doesn't do that. Do you sis? (Kasumi just stands there and blushes furiously.) You're kidding. Kasumi: Well it does work rather well.(Clears throat and changes the subject.) That is not why we are here today. Shampoo has something to say. (Kasumi gives the floor to Shampoo-kun.) Shampoo-kun: Shampoo Great Grandmother in town. Everyone just stares at her. Nabiki: (Looking bored) So. Shampoo-kun: If Shampoo Great Grandmother find Shampoo then she make her go back to China. Nabiki: (Suddenly interested) You can't do that. Just tell her no. Ranma: Yeah. It ain't like she can force you to go. Shampoo-kun: You not know Great Grandmother. Ranma: C'mon. How old is she? Shampoo-kun: Over three hundred year old. Ranma: Quit pulling our legs. Shampoo-kun: Shampoo not pull leg or anything else. Great Grandmother over three hundred year old. Ranma: All right. So she's over three hundred years old. She's lucky she ain't in a wheelchair or something. I can stop her with one finger if I have to. Shampoo-kun: Great Grandmother great fighter. Ranma: Old people ain't a threat. Genma: That's not true boy. Old people can make you do terrible things. Soun: Like steal food. Genma: Or skip out on bills. Soun: (Getting louder) Or distract authorities so they can get away with crimes. Genma: (Also getting louder) Or ride on your back like a horse. Soun: (Getting really loud) Or make you steal women's underwear. Akane: (Shouting at them) What are you guys talking about? Soun and Genma are shocked back to the real world. Genma: Anyway boy, don't underestimate old people. Ranma: (Sarcastically) Yeah, right. Shampoo-kun: No can refuse Great Grandmother. She leader of family and leader of village. Ranma: (A bit confused) You never mentioned that to us. Shampoo-kun: (Looks towards Kasumi who nods her head indicating she should go on.) Shampoo not tell many things. Shampoo sorry, so she tell now. Shampoo tell Ranma and Pop about how she mighty warrior in village and can no go back because boy. Ranma: Yeah. We figured you were too ashamed to face your family since you guys are all Amazons and now you're a man. Shampoo-kun: There more to it than that. Shampoo Great Grandmother leader of Amazon village. Great Grandmother want Shampoo become next leader of village. It great honor, so Shampoo trained from birth be new leader. Shampoo fight and learn how to lead. Great Grandmother teach everything to Shampoo. But leader of Amazon village always, ALWAYS girl. Can no be boy. Now Shampoo boy. No can lead. Akane: That's no big deal. If you can't lead then you can't lead. Soun: (Realizing there is more to it than that) So what happens to you since you can't lead. Shampoo-kun: Shampoo bring great dishonor if no can lead. It be bad if not become leader because not fight well enough. But if not able to become leader at all without fight. That even worse. (Starts to shudder. Kasumi puts a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.) Genma: What punishment would you receive for not being able to fight? Shampoo: If that all to it, than at least be cast out from family and tribe. No be allowed back into village, and exiled. That best case. If just no could fight that probably all that happen. (Pauses.) But Shampoo also have other problem. By becoming boy, Shampoo commit greatest crime of all. Akane: What do you mean? Shampoo: There no greater crime in Amazon village than to give up one's womanhood and become man. These two bad things together mean Shampoo have to kill self to show how sorry she is and bring honor back to family. It happen before when less at stake. Nabiki: But your grandmother is the leader. Can't she protect you? Shampoo-kun: (Shakes head) It especially bad because Great Grandmother leader. She be very disappointed someone else family lead village. Great Grandmother get very angry when lose. This biggest loss of all. And when she find out Shampoo boy...(Voice becomes softer.) You not know Great Grandmother. She expect and demand Shampoo kill self to make up for lost honor. This information sinks into everyone at table. Nabiki: The answer's simple. She doesn't know you're a guy. So just remain one until she leaves. Shampoo-kun: (Shaking his head) That not work. Great Grandmother not leave now she know Shampoo here. She stay until find, and eventually she figure out what going on. Akane: Even if she finds out we won't let her take you without a fight. Shampoo-kun: This Shampoo fight, not yours. Shampoo should leave and make Great Grandmother come after her. Not want to see anyone get hurt. Akane: (Slams her hand down) Forget it! I've made up my mind. If you go I'll follow. There's no way I'm going to let her kill you. Soun and Genma look at each other then nod together. Soun: The Anything Goes School of Martial Arts is ready to stand behind you. Nabiki: (Sincerely) If I can help I will. Kasumi: You know I'll always be there. Everyone looks to Ranma who has remained silent. He realizes its quiet and looks up. He is scowling so hard his eyebrows practically touch. Ranma: I won't let her touch you. Akane: It's decided. Everyone is in. Shampoo-kun doesn't know how to react. He runs off crying. Akane gets up to follow but Kasumi places a hand on her shoulder. Kasumi: Let her be. She needs time to let this settle in. Later, Shampoo-kun goes to the dojo. He sees Ranma-kun running through katas alone. He appears more intense then usual. Shampoo-kun sits down to watch. After a few moments Ranma speaks up without looking at Shampoo-kun. Ranma: Why didn't you tell me? (He is still practicing his katas.) Shampoo-kun: (Confused) Why not Shampoo tell you what? Ranma: About your grandmother, and the real reason why you left the village. Shampoo-kun: Shampoo knew could no stay in village when fall into spring. When meet you, Shampoo not know outside world, not speak much Japanese. You know these things, so Shampoo want travel with you. If you find out travel with Shampoo might bring trouble, Shampoo think you not want her go with you. Then Shampoo all alone. Can no travel with Mousse, that for sure. Ranma: (Continuing with katas and still not looking at Shampoo-kun) Why didn't you tell us after you got to know us? Shampoo-kun: Shampoo not know how to tell since she no tell before. Make it seem like use you and Shampoo not do that. Ranma: (Angrily, but still doing his kata.) You should have trusted me. Pop I could understand. I don't trust him most of the time. But me? Have I ever done anything to make you think I would abandon you because of a little trouble? Shampoo-kun: No. Ranma: (Moving with more speed through his katas and sounding even angrier) So, even after you knew you could trust me, and I wouldn't run out on you, you still didn't feel the need to tell me. Shampoo-kun: (Voice starting to crack.) Shampoo explain to you, not know how to tell. Ranma: (Stops in mid motion in katas. Voice now calm.) You told Kasumi. Shampoo-kun: (Stunned) What you mean? Ranma: (Starts moving again. Voice still even.) I watched Kasumi the whole time you were telling us about your grandma. She wasn't surprised in the least. She already knew all about it. Shampoo-kun: (She hesitates for a few moments) Kasumi, different... Ranma: (Finally stops. Turns abruptly upon Shampoo-kun, his face a mask of fury.) So what you're saying is, you trusted somebody that you've known for only several weeks more than someone you've known for several months. Shampoo-kun: (Holds his head in his hands and starts to stammer.) Shampoo not know... don't know how... He runs off trying hard not to cry and failing. Ranma just stands there for a moment. The rage slips from his face and he suddenly looks very uncertain. Akane comes into the dojo looking very displeased at Ranma. Akane: What did you do to Shampoo? Ranma: I didn't do nothin'. Akane: Then why was she running from you and crying? Ranma: (Snapping at Akane) Look it's between Shampoo and me! All right? Akane: (Snapping back) No it is not all right! She's under a great deal of pressure and your doing whatever it is you're doing to her isn't helping things. This can wait until later. Ranma: I just found out about it. I couldn't let it pass. Akane: (Angrily) That is so typical of you. If you have a problem then you have to solve it, no matter who gets trampled on in the process. Your father's right. You do only think about yourself. (Turns to leave) I am going to help Shampoo, because, unlike you, I do care about someone other than myself. (Leaves.) Ranma just stands there, uncertain what to do. Akane is running through the neighborhood looking for Shampoo-kun. She is surprised to see Shampoo-chan sitting out in the open on top of a building with a water tower on it. She jumps up to confront the purple-haired girl. When she gets up there she can see by the red rings under her eyes she has been crying until recently. Akane: (Calmly) It's dangerous for you to be out like this until we take care of this grandmother business. Why don't we get you some water so you can change? Shampoo: It not matter Great Grandmother find or not. Shampoo no care anymore. Akane: And why is that? Shampoo: Ranma hate Shampoo. Akane: Look, that jerk has all the sensitivity of a rock. Don't pay any attention to what he says. (Growls) I know I don't. Whatever it is that has got him angry at you is no big deal. Shampoo: (Sadly) Ranma right to be angry. Shampoo know do bad thing but not fix it. So should be punished. Akane: And do you honestly believe that your grandmother finding you is the solution to the problem? Shampoo: (Hesitates) Shampoo not know what to think. Never been in situation like this. Not know how deal with it. Akane: Look we'll go inside, change you, and talk about it. O.K. Shampoo nods her head in agreement. Just as both girls get up to leave a person behind them speaks up. Cologne: (Politely) Please stay. I have a few questions to ask. Akane and Shampoo turn and see the shriveled Amazon leader on top of her gnarled staff. Their reactions differ. Shampoo covers her hands over her mouth and Akane takes a defensive posture. Akane: So you're her grandmother? Cologne: (Still polite) Yes. But please, call me Cologne. Akane: All right, Cologne it is. (Despite the friendly tone Akane maintains her defensive posture.) I'm Akane Tendo. Cologne: I am pleased to meet you. Now if you'll excuse us I have a few things to discuss with my granddaughter. Akane: I'm sorry but she really doesn't want to talk to you right now. Why don't you go back to China and wait for her to work things out? I am sure she'll come back when she's ready. Cologne: (Starting to look annoyed) Shampoo is coming with me. She has many things that she still has to do. Starting with telling me why she came to Japan. (To Shampoo) Shampoo: Cologne: (Voice rising in anger) Akane: I don't know what you two are talking about but Shampoo is staying here. Got it! Cologne: This is none of your business, Akane Tendo. If you seek to interfere with Amazon matters you will be dealt with in Amazon fashion. Akane: Just try it. (Crouches getting ready to attack.) We hear Ranma-kun's voice shout out. Ranma: Stay away from them! Ranma lands on top of the building behind Cologne. She turns to face this new intruder. As she does so we see Ranma's reaction. Terror. Ranma: Ahhhh! It's a dried up mummy! (He has his arms and hands up in the universal Takahashi symbol of surprise. Two fingers extended outwards on each hand. His ponytail is sticking straight out as well. ) Cologne: (Not feeling flattered by the case of mistaken identity.) I may be old but I am not a mummy. Don't they treat you to respect your elders here boy. Ranma: (Calming down realizing it is, in fact, a living, human being.) Look granny. Shampoo doesn't wanna go with you and that's final. So why don't you just hop along back to China before we have to send you there. He puts his hand on Cologne's shoulder to reinforce his point. Bad mistake. She places her hand on top of his and with a flick of the wrist flips him fifteen feet away. Ranma recovers enough from his shock to land on his feet. Ranma: You're a tricky old thing aren't you. (Rushes to attack again.) Shampoo: (Shouting at the top of her lungs) Ranma stay away! Cologne casually dodges his first two attempted blows and swats him between the eyes with her staff. Ranma backs off for a moment to get his bearings back. Cologne: You have potential boy. You're pretty good. Ranma: You ain't seen nuthin' yet. Tries to use some Amazon techniques against her. Not a good idea since she created many of them. She brushes him off easily again. He tries more Anything Goes Techniques and is again swatted between the eyes for his troubles. Shampoo gasps every time Ranma takes a blow. Cologne: (Sounds like she has come to a conclusion) I think I understand now. Shampoo, did this boy defeat you in combat and make you come to Japan as his wife? You should have told me. I would have had a long talk with him about the merits of Joketsuzoku. He is a good one, an excellent fighter. Good looking as well. There would be no shame in losing to him. Shampoo: (Blushes despite her fear) Shampoo not fight Ranma. He not husband. Cologne: (Angry again) Well then why did you come to Japan? There are many important things for you to do back home. You don't have time for vacations. (Smacks the attacking Ranma again.) Shampoo: Shampoo can no tell. Ranma: (Shouting) Quit talking like I'm not here and fight you old ghoul! Cologne heeds his advise and casually tosses him through the chimney on the roof. Akane stands between Shampoo-chan and Cologne once more. Akane: My turn now. She starts swinging at Cologne. The ancient Amazon even more casually deflects her attacks. Cologne: Not bad girl. I didn't know Japanese women could fight as well as you. Ever consider becoming an Amazon. We are always willing to accept those that can fight. Ranma: (Only just now starting to pick himself up.) That brute would have every women beat in that village in a week. If she can't take them in combat all she would have to do is cook for 'em. Akane: RANMA NO BAKA! (She runs over and pounds his head into the remains of the chimney, knocking him out.) Cologne touches the back of Akane's neck with her staff causing her to collapse. Cologne: (To Akane) Pressure Point Technique. Don't worry. You will fully recover in a little while. (Turns to Shampoo) Shampoo: Cologne: Shampoo: Shampoo walks under the water tower. Cologne looks ready to pounce on her if she tries to escape again. Shampoo jumps up and shatters the bottom of the tower with her fist. As she lands the water hits her in a deluge. She walks out from under the pouring water as Shampoo-kun. Cologne just stands there with her mouth agape. It is the first time in a hundred years she has been completely surprised and let her guard down. It is, of course, at this moment that the recovered Ranma chooses to smash her in the back of the head as hard as he can. She falls to the ground, unconscious. Ranma looks over the prone body is if it is going to get up and bite. Ranma: Is it over? Shampoo-kun: (Goes over to check on Cologne.) Sorry Great Grandmother. She is unconscious but otherwise unharmed. She goes over to Akane and undoes the pressure point. All three look over the mummy's prone form. Akane: What do we do now? Shampoo-kun: Can no kill, and once she recover have to fight again. Can no get surprise next time. Ranma-kun: I got an idea. The scene changes to the ocean. We see a small wooden raft, with some packages marked food and water, floating on it. In the center is Cologne who is only now starting to stir. She sits up and assesses the situation. Cologne: In Chinese She picks up her staff and places it in the water. She starts spinning it faster and faster like a propeller. The raft begins to make its way back towards Japan. Epilogue We see a mountain with a boulder blocking the mouth of a cave. There are wards and symbols on it to prevent anyone from removing the makeshift door. A lighting bolt crashes from the heavens and cracks open the rock. We see a small figure in shadow crawl out of the cave muttering to itself. Figure: That was a nice little nap there. Now where was I. Oh yes! I was going to get revenge on those two former students of mine. And I know just how to do it. The figure starts cackling until a lightning bolt crashes into him. Knocking him out. End Notes: Sorry if the Ryouga fight seemed to drag, but I wanted him to put in a good showing since he got so little time in the last chapter. He's tough and deserves some space devoted to his fighting skills. I know, this is the second shark scene in three chapters. Don't hold your breath in waiting for the next one. I ain't got a fetish for 'em. If it seemed Ranma fought dirty in punching Cologne from behind while she was distracted, remember, this was the first time he had ever been treated like a child by a superior opponent. He certainly didn't expect her to get caught flatfooted as she was. And he knew that Shampoo's life was involved.