OK, this one is a total joke, so maybe I shoulda called it a spamfic. Please note that I am a believer in the Ryoga & Ukyo couple, so in this, Ryoga and Ucchan are dating. I think Tsubasa is really messed up, and that's why I wrote this. But I still like Tsubasa-chan. So, enjoy! Mail me your comments. ^_^ Oh, and I am an Akari fan, but at the time I wrote this fic, I was really ticked at her for stealing my Ryoga-san. But anywho, on with my fic.....The VPM one is better. Read that one.... Oh So Cute! "My dear Ukyo-sama!" Ukyo dashed through the streets of Nerima prefecture, followed closely by a... mailbox with outstretched arms?! From inside the mailbox, came a girlish voice. "Ukyo-sama, come back! I love you!" Ukyo panted. "Get away from meeeee!!! I don't love you, you stupid jackass!!!" Ukyo turned to the oncoming mailbox, pulled out her giant spatula, and slapped the mailbox high into the sky. "Farewellllllllllllllll, dear dear Ukyo!" The mailbox flew into the distance. ************ "Ooof!" The mailbox landed in a large bush in the park. "Dear dear Ukyo..." It broke open, and a head popped out. Tsubasa Kurenai stepped out of the remains, tears streaming. "Ukyo-sama...Why did you leave me?" "Didn't think she was ever with you, Tsubasa... Hey, you learn something new every day!" "Huh?" Tsubasa turned in the direction of the voice. It was Ryoga Hibiki, the eternal lost boy, and Ukyo's boyfriend. "Oh. What do you want?" "Just heard you talking to yourself again. You really have to leave my girlfriend alone, you know. She loves you about as much as she does burnt okonomiyaki!" "Heh. I don't believe THAT until I hear it from Ukyo!" "She's already said it about a million times, Tsubasa. Get it through your head. Ucchan's just not interested in you! Maybe you should set your sights a bit lower. Try someone like, oh say, Kodachi?" Tsubasa glared. "Yeah right! I'm not interested in girls like her. She too...too..." "Violent?" Ryoga suggested. "Maybe that's a good word." Ryoga rolled his eyes. Tsubasa was always like this. He (or she, if you prefer) had a habit of falling in love with a new girl every ten minutes, but had some weird fixation on Ucchan especially. Ryoga scanned the park for a new girl for Tsubasa to stalk a while, perhaps long enough for he and Ucchan to get out of Tokyo. There was a huge crafts festival going on in the park, so it wouldn't be too hard to find someone for Tsubasa to become closer to. Ryoga could make out a few people's faces. He could see his rival, Ranma Saotome, being chased through the crowd by a cat, presumably Shampoo. Near the lake, a gymnastics display was being performed by none other than the infamous Kodachi Kuno. He could even make out the face of his former girlfriend, Akari. She was staring lovingly at a painting of a pig. Ryoga felt a pang in his heart. He did miss Akari a little. She didn't even care that he turned into a pig. You'd think that with all these girls around, he'd be able to find a girl for Tsubasa. But no one seemed to be Tsubasa's type. Then, from behind him cam a very loud shout. "Charlotte!" Ryoga cringed at the name. He turned. "Hey, who ya calling..." He didn't have time to finish his sentence. In an instant, Azusa Shiratori had wrapped him a tight hug. "There you are, my little Charlotte!" "I told you, Azusa. My name is Ryoga, not Charlotte!" He struggled against her iron grip. "Let go of me, you crazy girl!" "But darling Charlotte, if Azusa lets go of you, that girl might get you again!" Azusa squealed, cuddling him tighter. She was referring to Akane. Meanwhile, Tsubasa gazed at Azusa. She was pretty cute, in fact. Almost as cute as his dear dear Ukyo. Ryoga had a thought. "Hey, Azusa. I want you to meet someone." Ryoga walked over to Tsubasa, Azusa still holding him around his waist. He pried her off, and set her down in front of Tsubasa. "Azusa, this is my good friend, Tsubasa Kurenai." Azusa rose, and turned to face Tsubasa. She looked him from bottom to top, finally settling on his face. She grinned. "Pierre!" She said, under her breath. "Kawaii!" She cried in glee. Tsubasa smiled. "You're kinda cute yourself..." Ryoga grinned. "My work here is done," he said, and turned to walk away. ******** The end.