Hi, everyone. I just signed up for the list, and would like a little help with this story I'm working on. Mostly what I want is some commentary on plot and character development, and a little prodding to keep my nose to the grindstone. Anything helpful will be greatly appreciated. Ranma's Angels A fanfic work-in-progress by LarryF Insert favorite legal disclaimer here. I don't own the characters, I'm not trying to make money on 'em. Chapter 1: It was a lovely day to be outdoors for the lunch break, hot enough to be comfortable in the shade without being too hot, with lots of white clouds in the sky. "...and she to told him that he could just take his ring and..." Akane Tendo wasn’t really listening to her friends as they gossiped about Natsumi’s latest boyfriend; she was content to let the sounds wash over her as she paid closer attention to the activity across the field, where Ranma was showing off for his classmates on the pull-up bars. She was admiring the way he made every move of the high-bar routine he performed look so effortless and graceful. He ended the show with three giant swings around the bar, letting go as he swung upward on the last one, and spun twice before landing lightly on his feet. He held himself in a pose like a gymnast, then bowed to the applause of the boys who were watching. It was at times like these that Akane remembered why she put up with their engagement; he could be so handsome when he wasn’t trying to prove how tough he was. She really did think he was attractive, deep in her heart, and sometimes even hoped that they had a future together that did not simply revolve around their Father’s wishes for the Dojo to be secure. She slipped into a daydream, imagining what it would be like if Ranma would just say... "Dammit, Shampoo, let go of me!" Ranma shouted, trying to peel the Amazon off. He had just finished demonstrating a gymnastics move he’d seen on TV when she had, as usual, popped up from nowhere and tackled him to the ground in sheer enthusiasm. "Shampoo bring delicious lunch for husband, see him do wonderful trick," she gushed, "Wo ai ni!" "Jeez, Shampoo, how many times do I hafta tell you I’m not your hus..." The words caught in his throat as a shadow fell across his face and he looked up to see Akane standing over them. She shouted "RANMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! IT’S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU HAVE TO BE A PERVERT, BUT IN FRONT OF ALL MY FRIENDS?!" Ranma stuttered "A-Akane, it’s not like it looks, I didn't..." As usual, he could barely get the words out of his mouth before Akane kicked him hard enough to send him flying halfway out of town. He had just enough time to think to himself before he hit the ground. It took a few minutes for the stars to stop dancing around Ranma’s head. He was rather pleased to note that this time he hadn’t landed in a pond or the river. Usually when Akane drop-kicked him, he had to deal with being soaked to the skin and female along with the pain. It took a moment to realize, much to his surprise, that he did not recognize the street he was on; Air Akane flights had taught him the neighborhood around the Tendo Dojo much better than any other town he had ever lived in. He leaned up against a fence while waiting for the wobble to leave his legs, and looked around trying to figure out how to get back to school. It was still too close to noon for the sun to be much of a clue, but there was a park not far down the road. He started walking towards it, intending to find someone to ask "where is Furinken High School?" He snickered to himself, thinking of Ryoga. There weren’t very many people in the park, which was no surprise on a school day, so Ranma paused a moment to see which ones might be helpful-looking. The young couple snuggled up in the shade beneath one of the trees definately weren’t a likely prospect, but there was an old man at the far end of the park feeding pigeons who looked approachable. He had walked halfway over to the man when he heard sobbing behind a nearby bush. Creeping up quietly to look around it, he saw a little girl curled up on the ground, crying desperately into a balled-up sweater. "...an’ he beats me up an’ takes my lunch money!" said the child, as Ranma sat with one arm draped lightly across her shoulders. "Every day, I gotta watch out for him an’ run away, or he picks on me!" The child, whom Ranma had learned was named Kazuko Niwa, had calmed down considerably after Ranma had reassured her he meant no harm. She had needed someone to tell her troubles to so much that Ranma was actually glad he'd gotten lost here. She had several bruises on her face, thanks to a bully who was making going to school a daily torture for her. Ranma found himself deeply sympathetic, thinking about how similar his own life was. He never knew when someone was going to attack him for no reason, either. The thing that made a difference was that HE was able to defend himself. That gave him an idea, however. He could change things for Kazuko, but first he needed her parent’s permission for what he had in mind. Ranma stood up, and helped her to her feet as well. "Kazuko-chan, I need to talk to your parents. Why don’t I walk you home?" Kazuko sniffled a little, and brushed the last of her tears away. She gave Ranma a heartbreakingly sweet smile and nodded enthusiastically. Taking him by the hand, she tugged him along in her wake all the way to her home, only a few blocks away. As they walked, her natural good nature came back, and she asked Ranma non-stop questions about himself, his friends, where he lived and whether or not he had a girlfriend yet... To Ranma's great relief, they arrived before the conversation got too deep into his romantic life. The Niwa residence was a modest middle-class house, but showed all the signs of tender care in the tiny yard. As Ranma and Kazuko walked up to the door, it flew open and an attractive woman rushed out to gather Kazuko into her arms. "Oh, dear, were you in a fight again, Kaze-chan? Does it hurt? Let me look at you…" Kazuko squirmed a little in her mother’s embrace, wriggling loose to take Ranma by the hand again and pull him next to her. "Okasan, this is Saotome Ranma-san, and he helped me get home today. He says he wants to talk to you about something." Mrs. Niwa released Kazuko and stood up to bow gracefully to Ranma. "Konnichiwa, Saotome-san. Thank you very much for taking care of my daughter. Won’t you come in for some tea?" ------- The next morning started out much the same as it always did, with Kasumi preparing breakfast while the Ranma and Genma practiced in the yard. No uninvited guests had shattered the peace (or the walls) the previous night, and after a restful sleep, Akane was ready to forgive Ranma for his indiscretions. "Ranma, where were you yesterday afternoon? Everyone was wondering what happened to you when you didn’t show up for class after lunch." Ranma almost gagged on a mouthful of food. After he stopped coughing, he said "Um, well, I kinda got lost and had to find my way back. Didn’t get home until after school was already over. I stayed up on the roof until dinnertime. Had a few things to think about." Akane looked at him from the corners of her eyes. "Well, you better not be late today. Hinako-sensei says that if you’re late to class on top of missing English yesterday, she’ll put you on detention." Ranma stayed silent, concentrating on finishing his bowl of rice. Akane thought to herself During the rest of breakfast she deliberately insulted Ranma, trying to get a reaction from him. Much to her surprise, he never said a word, or even showed any sign of hearing her at all. Akane watched Ranma all day, but couldn’t figure out just what was going on. He wasn’t doing anything the way he usually did; while he seemed to pay about as much attention to class as normal (that is, almost none), during breaks he didn’t hang out with any of his friends and seemed to be completely distracted by something. Instead, he went off to a corner of the schoolyard and seemed to be practicing a new Kata, but the one she saw him do was really basic and simple, and seemed to be a much "softer" style than he used at home, consisting mostly of defensive moves. It almost was like he was trying to make a new routine for himself, but the style was so simple, she didn’t see how it could possibly help him win against any of the people he usually fought. Even Kuno wouldn’t have trouble seeing right through the techniques she saw him practicing. At lunch, he ate in the classroom and then went right back to the Kata. She was completely mystified. Where had he gone yesterday, really? Why was he trying to come up with a new fighting style? That afternoon, during a pop quiz, she found herself unable to concentrate on the questions as her mind drifted into a daydream. Ranma and a girl, whose face was shadowed, were sitting in a secluded bower, flowers and hearts framing the scene. They smiled at each other, the girl saying "Ranma-sama, it’s so good of you to spend the day with me." Ranma, with a sappy expression on his face, replied "I can't bear to be apart from you even for a single moment." The girl frowned "But Ranma, what will we do about your fiancTe?" Ranma scowled. "Akane? How can I think about such a macho, sexless tomboy when you’re so cute? Once I’ve taught you to defeat her, nothing will stand between us! (Falls to his knees) Forget about Akane. Will YOU marry me?" The girl answered tearfully "Oh YES, Ranma-sama! YES, my love!" As the two figures kissed passionately, the hearts and flowers exploded around Akane as she jumped to her feet, her angry face frightening her nearby classmates. The quiz paper was crumpled in her hand, completely forgotten, as she shouted: "How DARE he propose to her when he’s MY fiancT!" The classroom buzzed as the rest of the students started whispering back and forth about her outburst, and Akane, realizing what she had just done, blushed furiously. By the end of the school day, she was feeling more than a little upset. She followed Ranma out of the school to confront him, determined to make him tell her where he had gone and if there was someone else he was seeing, but she was left standing with her mouth open when Ranma jumped up on the school’s outside wall, and from there to the rooftops of the nearby homes, without even noticing she was behind him. In seconds, he was gone, bouncing from roof to roof in a direction she had never seen him go before. The next week went by in much the same way, with Ranma withdrawn and concentrating on a martial arts style more suited to a baby than himself, ignoring his friends. Akane wasn’t alone in her confusion. Everyone noticed his odd behavior, and the school gossip circuit was alive with guesses about why he was acting that way. More than once girls approached Akane trying to find out if she was the reason, or if he was sick, or if he had a new girlfriend, or even if he had brain damage from her hitting him all the time. Every day after school, he would disappear without anyone being able to follow him. Even Kodachi Kuno was unable to keep up with him one day when she came to find him. He lead her on a wild run around the city, and eventually she was left gasping for breath, sitting on a tree branch in the forest outside of town after chasing him for nearly half an hour. Ranma would be gone for several hours after he vanished, only coming home in time to do a little of his homework before dinner. Akane began to suspect more and more that he was going somewhere to meet another woman, a thought that set her teeth on edge, but she couldn’t figure out who it might be; Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodachi were all as much in the dark as she was. ------- Ranma’s odd behavior continued straight through Friday. The only person he spoke with for any length of time that afternoon was Nabiki, who passed an envelope to him and then waved a cheery goodbye. Akane finally figured that enough was enough. She left her last class early, and went down to the front gate to wait for Ranma. She thoughtfully packed her book bag full of textbooks needed for her homework that night (the fact that they added a of a lot of weight to the bag didn’t figure into it at all, of course) and took her position. Her patience was rewarded when he came out of the main doors of the school and headed straight for her, not really paying much attention to his surroundings. Akane took a deep breath, then stepped into his path. "Ok, Ranma. I think you need to talk to me, right now. Who is the girl you go to see every day?!" He gave her a startled look. "Huh? How did you know…(confusion changed to annoyed outrage) It's none of your business!" Akane moved to keep him from brushing past her. "Who is she, and where did you meet her? Is it anyone I know, or just some bimbo you picked up off the street?" Ranma took a step back, the look of confusion returning. "Huh? What d’ya mean? I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about!" Akane, her already short temper stretched past breaking by the way Ranma had ignored her all week, moved up until she was only inches away from him, flames roaring in her eyes. "You know exactly what I mean, you worthless pervert! Why I have to put up with a jerk like you in MY HOME, always underfoot and wrecking the place with your constant brawling with everyone who even walks by, it’s beyond understanding! Sneaking off every day for some sleazy AFFAIR is the LAST STRAW!" Her voice was getting louder and louder with each word, and a large crowd gathered, watching in amazement as she tore into Ranma, pushing him back a step at a time by shoving him in the middle of his chest. Ranma’s face clouded over as each word struck home, injuring his pride. "Now wait a minute, I don’t go picking fights with…" Akane slapped him, not letting him finish the sentence. "DON’T GIVE ME ANY OF YOUR LAME EXCUSES, YOU LOWLIFE!" She screamed, and swung the book bag at Ranma’s head as hard as she could. Suddenly, Ranma was moving, his eyes blank and his hands a blur as training and reflexes took over from his conscious mind. The bag went flying, an arm-block sending a numbing shock through Akane’s bones. Ranma lowered his hands to his side, fists clenched tightly, his face pale as a sheet and eyes wide. He silently shook his head "no" for a moment, then ran blindly from the schoolyard. Akane stood open-mouthed in shock for a moment, clutching her throbbing arm to her, but quickly recovered. Her determination to follow him overrode her disbelief that he’d retaliated against her; no doubt he would run straight to his new girlfriend, and this was her chance to confront the bitch… ------- Ranma was not being very observant as he walked down the street, with hands thrust in his pockets and his head down. His shoulders were slumped, and he looked completely miserable. Akane had no trouble keeping him in sight, although she was careful to always have somewhere to duck in case he should look up. She followed him as he left the neighborhood where they normally hung out, and they soon arrived at a small park, where he sat down with his back to a tree and wrapped his arms around his knees. Bowing his head, he closed his eyes. he thought to himself, He gathered himself into a tighter ball, never noticing Akane slipping into a clump of bushes near enough to hear anything he might say. She vowed not to let him out of her sight until she knew what he was doing here. She hadn't waited very long when a young woman walked up to Ranma, holding an eight-year-old girl by the hand. "Ano...Saotome-san?" She said hesitantly. He looked up, then quickly wiped his eyes with the back of one hand. "H-hello, Mrs. Niwa. Hi, Kazuko-chan." Mrs. Niwa got down on her hands and knees before him, Kazuko beside her, and both bowed formally to Ranma. "Saotome-san, we wish to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for what you have done for us. The training you have given to Kazuko this week allowed her to finally face up to the school bully." "Yeah," chimed in Kazuko, " I did it just like we practiced and every time he tried to hit me, he went flying into the ground! After awhile he ran away! [more subdued] He said he's gonna get me later, 'though." Ranma gave Kazuko a half-smile. "You made a good start today, Kazuko-chan. You’ll hafta fight a few more times before he gives up, but don't worry, he will; bullies always do." He turned to Mrs. Niwa. "Have you thought about my advice? Kazuko-chan is a quick learner, and I enjoyed teaching her the judo she used on that kid. I think she has real potential as a martial artist, if she gets regular practice." "We don't want to be a bother, Saotome-san. You are still in school yourself, so what would it do to your grades if you had to take care of Kazuko every day?" She asked. "Don't worry about that stuff, Mrs. Niwa. Even when I can't train her myself, my Pop, Mr. Tendo, and A-Akane..." a brief flash of pain crossed his face as he said her name. Mrs. Niwa saw the way he looked immediately. "Your fiancTe?" She asked. "Yeah." Ranma drew a breath, then let it out slowly. "She doesn't practice enough to go on the tournament circuit, but she knows her stuff an’ has a lot of practical experience. I think she'd be wonderful for Kazuko-chan to train with, and there's no one I trust more with her." (They didn't hear the dull thud as Akane dropped on her backside behind the bushes. ) Mrs. Niwa nodded, a smile on her face. "Then it is decided. I will enroll Kazuko at the Tendo Dojo next week. Saotome-san, forgive me if this is an intrusion, but I would have to be blind indeed to miss how sad you are when speaking of your fiancTe. Is it anything you would like to talk about? (seeing Ranma pale slightly) Please, Saotome-san, I would like to hear your troubles. It would be a very small way of returning your kindness to Kaze-chan." Ranma sat for a moment staring at the ground, then sighed. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk about it. Akane and I were engaged by our Fathers before we were even born, and never met until about a year ago. We kinda got off on the wrong foot, and can never seem to talk to each other. We end up fightin' over something stupid, or something weird happens that I can’t control. Right now, I got three other girls chasing me, and Akane always treats me like its all my fault. I’m tryin’ real hard to straighten it out without hurting anyone’s feelings, but nothin' seems to work, and Akane won't listen to me even for a minute when I try to tell her what's goin' on. She just gets mad and says I'm doin' it on purpose and hits me and says she hates me!" Ranma said as a tear slid down his cheek. Kazuko jumped to her feet and threw her arms around his neck. "Don't cry, Ranma-sensei! I love you!" Mrs. Niwa reached out to briefly squeeze his shoulder. "Saotome-san, do you think your fiancTe really hates you?" She asked, obviously concerned. "I just don't know," He answered. "She has this way of looking at me sometimes that makes me think maybe she likes me, but then a minute later she's yelling at me or sayin' things that hurt. What’s worse is that I’m getting so upset about it, I’m losing my focus. Today I got in a fight with her, an’ when she tried to hit me, I lost it. My reflexes took over before I realized what I was doing. One of the things I’m really proud about is that I’ve NEVER hit Akane before on purpose, but today I did." Ranma gently pried Kazuko off his neck and stood up. "Thanks for listening. It's gettin' kinda late and I promised Akane's older sister Nabiki I'd go to the bank and deposit some money for her. I guess that'll give me a chance to do some more thinking and maybe sort myself out. I’ll see you next week." Mrs. Niwa bowed once more as Ranma walked away, then gathered up Kazuko and left. No one paid any attention to the bushes, where Akane sat staring at her hands and feeling very much ashamed of herself. ------- Ranma had to hurry a little to get to the bank where Nabiki kept her accounts before it closed. The fight with Akane and his subsequent meeting with Mrs. Niwa and Kazuko had caused him to lose track of time, and he had almost forgotten his promise to drop off the deposit. One thing was sure, Nabiki would make his life hell if the money were not in the bank and the receipt in her hand by dinnertime. Not that his life didn’t already feel like it had been scripted by Dante… He arrived at the high rise building he was looking for about fifteen minutes before closing time, and walked into the Bank lobby. Joining the end of the line for the tellers, it seemed to him to be pretty crowded considering how late it was. Chalking it up to the payday rush, he opened the envelope to make sure the deposit slip was inside, and saw for the first time how much it was for. he thought with his eyes widening, He began to suspect that if he had been a little smarter and insisted on a royalty, he’d be pretty well-off by now. He then started thinking about what he was going to do about Akane. As usual, her ability to jump to a conclusion astounded him; if that sort of thing were a track event, she’d be a World Record holder. Ranma’s thoughts were interrupted when he got to the head of the line. He went to the open teller and handed over the envelope with Nabiki’s money and deposit slip, and was soon given a receipt. Just as he was turning to leave, several men rushed into the room carrying rifles and shotguns. Ranma could see many more running into the main lobby of the office building; all of them armed like the ones near him. The men in the bank began shooting over the heads of the customers and bank employees, screaming at them to fall down on the floor. As Ranma looked around, shocked, he saw one of the men smash a bank guard across the face with his rifle butt. Nearby, another of the men grabbed a young woman by the front of her dress and shoved her up against a wall. Ranma reacted to that without thinking, immediately jumping next to the thug. He then pummeled the thug, striking him over two hundred times in a heartbeat. As the thug went flying back, another fired a burst at Ranma with his automatic rifle. Ranma wrapped his arms around the woman and dived behind a couch placed near the wall for waiting customers. The man with the assault rifle tracked his movement, and bullets sprayed a trail of holes into the wall, eventually shattering a water cooler next to the couch. Ranma was drenched by the water. He felt the change come over him and quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed. he thought, The young woman he had rescued had fainted beside him. Ranma dragged her a little ways away from the spot where they had landed, then gathered her into his arms just as two of the thugs looked around the end of the couch. "What the ####," said one of them, "where the ####### hell did that bastard go?! You, girl! Where is that mother###### who jumped back here?!" Ranma shook his head, putting on his best wide-eyed innocent-little-girl look. The thug knocked the couch over and then looked around wildly, trying to see where the guy who had beat the #### out of his partner, who was sprawled on the floor unconscious, could have gone. "Boss! He vanished! There’s no sign of him!" The rest of the building was being occupied with ruthless efficiency, and all the exits barricaded. The invaders seemed to show no interest in any of the money or valuables of the bank customers; they just hunted down all of the building’s occupants and collected them together in the bank, posting a sizable guard over them. The leader of the force began to look more and more concerned as his men reported back to him by walky-talky; each one reported no sign of the black-haired bastard who had escaped from the bank after busting up one of his men. The thugs weren’t very sophisticated men, for the most part, and like their counterparts in the Yakuza, tended to be rather superstitious. They were also all very fond of imported American movies, and remembered very well what had happened to men much like themselves in a flick called "Die Hard". As more and more of the searchers calling in with negative results, the leader began to sweat, thinking of the horrible possibilities he could be facing. A super martial arts master, loose in the building he had to hold, who could vanish at will… ------- Nabiki Tendo sat at the dining room table drumming her fingers impatiently. Ranma had run off after school after a fight with Akane, and no one had seen him after that. Akane wasn’t home yet, either, and Nabiki was growing concerned. To distract herself from her worries, she decided to turn on the television set and watch the financial report on the evening news. As the set warmed up and began showing the inevitable and seemingly endless run of commercials, the sliding door to the yard scraped open and Akane walked in, looking a little rumpled and dirty. "Hi, Nabiki Onechan. Um, is Ranma home yet?" She said, staring at the floor. Nabiki was about to tell her "no", when her attention was diverted by the television. "Our top story tonight is a Hostage Crisis at the Nerima branch of Mitsubishi Bank. Reports have it that over 50 people are being held at gunpoint by men who have barricaded the building." The television camera, using a telephoto lens, panned across the exterior window of the bank, getting a clear picture of the masked men, who were standing around a large group of seated people. As the camera scanned the group, one image seemed to leap out at the girls: a girl with distinctive red hair, supporting a woman who looked like she was unconscious. "Oh, my God," cried Akane, "that’s Ranma!" At her horrified shout, Kasumi hurried into the room from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel, as Genma and Soun leaned into the doorway from the veranda. Genma asked "What's this about Ranma?", and Akane pointed at the TV screen as the camera panned back across the window again. Ranma was easily seen, still with her arm around the young, obviously pregnant woman. "Oh, my!" said Kasumi, "why would Ranma have been at that bank?" Nabiki, who had turned white as a sheet, said "Uh, that's my fault... he was making a... deposit... for... me..." her face suddenly took on a look of rage. "Waitaminute! That's MY bank those creeps are robbing! If those sons of bitches think they're gonna steal MY money..." she fell silent, grinding her teeth together. While she stared in hatred at the TV, the others listened quietly to the news reporter interviewing a police representative. _______ Larry W. Fontenot Senior Technician Earthlink Tech Support http://home.earthlink.net/~lfontenot/