Ranma 1/2: Putting Your Heart in the Right Place 1-15 by John Biles (johnbil@wam.umd.edu) [Screen opens on an overhead view of a city from about 200 feet up. It could be almost any city in Japan, although this is just one piece of it. Our view dives down towards one of the streets where a young Japaneese man is drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. Those around him ignore him, stepping around him with a muttered insult or two. We are still too high up to hear more than the murmer of voices and the sounds of the city. He stands admidst his strange chalk scrawls holding a bell which he begins to ring while apparently dancing about and saying something. Our point of view dives towards him as the chalk bursts into flame setting his pants on fire. He screams, rolls about and dives into a water barrel, knocking it over onto a nearby fruitseller who begins to curse. We get closer and see the fruitseller pelting the young man with fruit as he runs away. It is Gosunkugi.] Gosunkugi: Another failed ritual? I don't understand. The book guaranteed it would work... The book! Where is it? [He looks about and sees the fruitseller toss a large scroll into a passing garbage truck.] Gosunkugi: No... [The garbage truck turns the corner out of sight. Gosunkugi continues to stare after it. His back is to the viewer. Then from behind him, a shadow falls across the sidewalk. It is the shadow of a woman in a dress with long hair and a broom in her hands. Next to her shadow is that of a cat licking its front right paw. The woman speaks.] Woman: So you think you are a wizard? [Gosunkugi turns around. We still can't see who he is talking to] Gosunkugi: I...No...Maybe...Well...Yes. I am. Who are you to ask a question of a wizard, Gaijin? Woman: Then why does your magic never work, Gosunkugi? Gosunkugi: I don't...How did you know my name? Woman: I am a true witch as you would know if you were a true wizard. Do you want to spend the rest of your life failing at magic, or do you want to learn the right way to do it? I warn you that it is not easy. Gosunkugi:[Staring with open eyes]. I...I..Well...Uh.. Woman: An answer please. Gosunkugi: Yes! I want to learn the secret of Magic! Woman: Then we shall begin at once... Title credits roll: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part One: The secret of Magic [Scene cuts to the steeply sloped roof of the Tendo dojo. We can see Gosunkugi and the shadow of the woman and her cat again. They are looking down on the backyard of the dojo, where Ranma-kun and Ryouga are fighting at the edge of the pond.] Gosunkugi: Why are we up here, sensei? I don't see the connection between them and magic. Ranma: ROARING LION BULLET! [A blast of energy strikes Ryouga, toppling him into the pond.] Woman-sensei: What was that, then? Gosunkugi: That was...That was..It..magic? Martial Arts is magic? I'm going to have to learn martial arts? Woman-sensei: Did I say that? Gosunkugi: Uh...no. [While Gosunkugi is facing his sensei, we see P-chan emerge from the pond. Ranma begins chasing P-chan] Woman-sensei: Magic comes in many forms. No user of magic is exactly like every other user. But the most important thing is why that person does magic. Why do you do magic, Gosunkugi? Gosunkugi:I...[turns a little red]...to win the love of Tendo Akane. Woman-sensei: Why do you need to use magic for that? Why not profess your love to her directly? Gosunkugi{now beet red]: I...She...She is engaged to Saotome Ranma. I...we...she...uh... Woman-sensei: Is it right to force a woman to love you with magic? Gosunkugi [beet red, and apparently shrunk to about 4 foot tall]: I...well...[still shrinking]...I never wanted to...No. It is not. Woman-sensei: And your rituals have never worked at all... Gosunkugi[starting to revert to normal size]I...No, they never work right. I don't...{sudden start, with "ah ha!" look on face]Are you saying that there is a connection? Magic for selfish ends never works? But what about evil sorcerors? Woman-sensei: No. [We see her shadow shudder. The cat suddenly seems more attentive]. Magic that you believe is wrong never works. You do not truly believe in the rightness of what you are doing. That is why you fail. [Below, we see Akane emerge from the dojo.] Akane: Ranma, no Baka! Stop picking on P-chan! [She starts chasing him.] Gosunkugi: Then there is no way for me to know Akane's love... Woman-sensei: I didn't say that, but there are many better uses for magic than seducing women! Do you wish to be a sorceror or a seducer? Gosunkugi: I...yes, I do want to be a real wizard. I...What must I do? [We hear a rattling sound. Perhaps something is coming up the side of the building?] Woman-sensei: Magic is a matter of heart and will. You must both want something to happen and approve of its happening. If you believe you deserve failure, you will always fail. Come, we must go before they find us here. [we see her shadow standing up. It looks like she is about to ride off on the broom. The cat jumps on behind. ] Well, come on. Gosunkugi [As he steps out of sight] Ah...Okay. Where are we going? Woman-sensei: To find you a good cause to do magic. Then you can learn how to do it the right way, as well as why to do it. [P-chan suddenly runs onto the roof, followed closely by Ranma-kun and Akane. They both stop and look off across the city. We see broom with three tiny figures zipping away] Ranma-kun: That looks like Gosunkugi on that broom over there. Akane: It can't be. His magic never works. [While they are distracted, P-chan jumps into Akane's arms.] End of Part 1 ************************************************************************ Subject: Ranma Fan Fic part 2 Status: RO Last time on Ranma1/2: {Yet another of Gosunkugi's rituals has failed, but this time he attracts the attention of a gaijin witch who offers to tell him why he always fails and teach him the secret of real magic. He accepts. Gosunkugi learns that he has suffered from an inability to unite his will to do magic and his belief in the rightness of what he is doing. His new sensei takes him to find a cause in which he can unite will and heart.} {We see a familiar restaurant, the Nekohanten, home to Shampoo and Cologne. From inside we hear the sound of breaking furniture, sqwauks, and clanging metal. The door flies open and a glasses-wearing man is knocked out the door. As he falls, knives, axes, hammers, chains and other weapons scatter everywhere. A woman stands in the doorway with a bucket of water in one hand and a rod ending in a metal sphere in the other. Her face is contorted in contempt. She speaks.} Shampoo : Mousse: Shampoo: {She tosses the bucket of water on him. He rapidly shrinks away to a duck, still wearing the glasses. She turns, strides into the building and slams the door.} {Our perspective pulls back. We now stand behind Gosunkugi, who has witnessed this scene. Once again, his sensei is behind us, casting a shadow on the ground by his side. The cat seems unusually agitated, with its fur up and its tail in the air.} Woman-Sensei: How does seeing that make you feel? Gosunkugi: She is so cruel to him sometimes. Once she even served him duck when he thought he had ordered something else. I can not understand how he can love someone who hates him so. I..I wish I could help him. Woman-Sensei: Perhaps you can. {Opening Credits roll...} Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless (until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Two: New Vision {We see the duck waddling about gathering up its weapons, although where it is putting them is hard to say. It looks up as Gosunkugi approaches it.} Mousse-Duck: Quack? {Gosunkugi bends over and picks him up.} Gosunkugi: Looks like its time for a hot bath for you. Mousse-Duck: Quack! Quack! {Gosunkugi picks up the rest of the duck's weapons. The duck quickly conceals them on himself.} Gosunkugi: Better? Mousse-Duck: Quack. {We see Nabiki across the street, coming out of a restaurant with Kunou. He walks away carrying a bundle of photos. She is counting money. She stares at Gosunkugi carrying the Duck. She can not see from this angle that it is wearing glasses} Nabiki: What is Gosunkugi doing with a duck? He seems to be taking it to some Gaijin and...her...cat. A Gaijin witch? {Quickly she gets out her camera and snaps some pictures.} Nabiki: Somebody will pay me good money for these, although I'm not sure who. {Gosunkugi has reached his sensei.} Gosunkugi: So what do I do now, Sensei? Woman-Sensei: We need access to a kitchen. Gosunkugi: A kitchen? Woman-Sensei: Unless you wish to spend a few years learning to talk to animals and carry around a duck for all that time. Gosunkugi: I know someone who might be willing to help. Woman-Sensei: Lead on. {We notice that her cat has calmed down} Scene cut: {We see the kitchen of the Tendo dojo. Kasumi is cooking. The Panda is trying to sneak off with some food. Ranma-kun enters.} Ranma-kun: Dad. {Panda continues to sneak out, puts up sign: Quiet. I'm busy. Ranma-kun snatches the teapot from the stove and follows him out. When they reach the next room, he pours it on the Panda.} Ranma-kun: Dad, do you know anything about flying brooms? Genma: Flying Brooms? Ranma-kun: Yes, I saw Gosunkugi riding on a flying...{notices Genma is staring blankly at him.} Never mind. Maybe Happosai...Never mind that too. I'll go ask Doctor Tofu. {He leaves. Genma begins eating his stolen food contentedly} Scene shift: {We see another familiar restaurant-Ukyou's. Gosunkugi is in the kitchen with Ukyou. He is pouring the water on Mousse. Mousse reverts to normal. He scampers embarrasedly behind a counter and gets dressed.} Gosunkugi: Thanks for the hot water, Ukyou. Ukyou: No problem. I have learned to always keep some hot water ready for my friends. {She turns to face the still unseen sensei.} How did you know he needed hot water to turn back? Woman-sensei: What other curse but Jhuysenko could it have been? I have studied many curses and their cures. Ukyou: I..Could..Is there a cure for the Jhuysenko curse besides finding another Jhuysenko pool to fall into? Woman-sensei: There are many cures, but most are only temporary. For this curse, you must find your own cure. {Mousse gets up from behind the counter and bows to Woman-sensei.} Mousse: I thank you, whoever you are for helping me. It is hard for me to get to hot water as a duck. Can I help you in any way? Woman-Sensei: I am here to advise my student, Gosunkugi. He has found it in his heart to help you with your problem. Mousse: He can cure my sight so that I might be able to truly win the love of Shampoo? Woman-Sensei: That is what you wish? Mousse: Yes. If I was blind, I could gain her pity; If I could see, I could win her heart. In between, I gain only her contempt.*** Gosunkugi: I..uh..well..I don't know how. Woman-Sensei: Do you wish to help him? Gosunkugi: Yes. I do, but I don't know any rituals for restoring sight. Woman-Sensei: You need no ritual to do magic. You need only believe. All else is tools to aid the belief of yourself and others. If you knew a ritual for healing his sight, how would it go? {Gosunkugi sits and thinks. Ukyou is beginning to cook more food in preparation for the dinner rush. We finally see the cat. It springs up onto the counter next to Gosunkugi and sniffs him. It is calico, with a red collar with gold studs around its neck. Gosunkugi turns and looks at the cat and his eyes widen}. Gosunkugi: May I have one of your whiskers? {It sticks its whiskers near his hands. He plucks the whisker. The cat screeches a bit. Gosunkugi turns and pours some of the hot water into a glass. He places the whisker into the glass. Then he grabs Mousse's glasses. They go in the glass.} Gosunkugi{Now holding the glass and twirling his left hand over it.} Buddha, in your mercy hear my call. Mousse stands before you without sight, without his vision he is despair's thrall. Please help Mousse escape his plight. We stand before you asking that Mousse might gain the sight of the cat. {He nimbly throws the glass of water in Mousse's face. Mousse splutters and wipes the water from his eyes.} Ukyou: I hope you didn't just take away the cat's sight and give it to Mousse. Gosunkugi: I didn't think of that. {He stares at the cat. The cat stares back at him, then smiles} Mousse: I can see! I can see without my glasses! {He jumps up and down} Thank you! My vision is cured. Scene shift: {We see the inside of the Nekohanten. Shampoo is cleaning up and serving customers. As she approaches a blond woman in combat fatigues, a bearded man with a hat pulled down over his eyes and a dapper young man with slicked back hair and immaculate clothing****, she begins to stagger. Her eyes glaze.} Shampoo: I can't see!!!! Roll Credits End Part 2 ************************************************************************ Subject: Ranma Fan Fic part 3 Status: RO Part 3 Summary of the preceeding: {Gosunkugi's continued magical incompetence has brought him to the attention of a gaijin witch who has offered to teach him how to do magic correctly. They saw Shampoo mistreating Mousse as usual, and decided to help him. Gosunkugi created a ritual to cure Mousse's sight, which worked, but...} {We see the inside of the Nekohanten. Shampoo is cleaning up and serving customers. As she approaches a blond woman in combat fatigues, a bearded man with a hat pulled down over his eyes and a dapper young man with slicked back hair and immaculate clothing, she begins to stagger. Her eyes glaze.} Shampoo: {She staggers over to the table. The three patrons look concernedly at her.} [thought:] Dapper Man: {Stands up} Are you all right? You look a bit shaky, miss... Shampoo: I am fine. Please do not worry. {Puts a bowl of noodles in front of the woman, then puts a glass next to it} Your noodles, sir. {woman stares at the bowl, then passes it to the bearded man, who is scratching his chin} Dapper Man: Are you sure? I think you just mistook... Shampoo: No! I never make mistakes. Uh..., please. Sit down. I will serve you next. {Puts second bowl of noodles on top of the one the bearded man is starting to eat from, put second glass next to his. He pauses, then digs into the new bowl.} Woman: Stop that. That's mine! {grabs bowl away from bearded man who returns to eating from the original bowl} Shampoo:{puts last bowl down in the dapper man's chair, but puts his glass on the table. Addresses chair:} There. Now you have good meal. Pay at counter. Goodbye! {walks away and crashes into a table. It breaks in half. She talks to it} Sorry. Just clumsy today, I guess. Woman: I can't believe they hired such a strange waitress. The food is good though. Dapper Man: I think something is up here. She was fine when she took our order and when she was bringing the food until she was almost here. Then she started and said something in chinese. Bearded Man: Maybe it was her idea of a joke. {continues to eat} Dapper Man: Something strange is up, here... {Opening Credits roll...} Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Three: Consequences {Scene has now shifted to Ukyou's restaurant. Mousse is dancing about happily. His glasses are on the counter. Ukyou watches bemusedly as she continues cooking. Gosunkugi is watching Mousse dance.} Mousse: Thank you Gosunkugi! Now Shampoo will love me as I love her! {He grabbes his glasses, put them in his pocket and runs out of the restaurant.} Ukyou: I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. Good work, Gosunkugi. Gosunkugi: {has an astonished smile on his face} It worked! Amazing! Woman-sensei: You've made him very happy. Well, I must be leaving now. I'll be back in a few days. I've got to go accomplish what I came to Japan to do. Gosunkugi: I...can I go with you? I want to learn more. Woman-sensei: I'll be back, for a while. I can't stay here for very long, I've got other duties calling me. With the power of magic comes grave responsibilities. Just try working with what I've told you while I'm gone. I suspect your services may be in much demand. Gosunkugi: My services in demand? Woman-sensei: {We see from her shadow that she is picking up her broom and turning to go.}There are many things that people want that only magic can provide or that it seems only magic can provide. I'll return in three days. I have friends to visit and secrets to trade. Farewell. {suddenly she is gone} Ukyou: So who was that anyway? Gosunkugi: I don't know. I never thought to ask. Ukyou: {[] is thought, not spoken}[I wonder if Gosunkugi could break Ranma's curse...] Oh, Gosunkugi... Gosunkugi: Yes... Ukyou: {sidling over to him} I have a request to make of you... {scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Shampoo is trying to serve the customers without letting them know that she can barely see. They are beginning to worry about her. We notice that a fourth person has joined the trio from the opening sequence...Kodachi} Background Mutter: very good food...something's wrong with the waitress...clumsy...Doughnuts!...my glass is half-full...don't do kidnapping...she addressed me, a guy, as Ma'am...not normally like this...no, its' half-empty...not a kidnapping, a rescue...mmph, chomp, chomp... {We see Shampoo addressing a potted plant} Shampoo: Take your order, sir? {waits} I recommend the... {The door to the Nekohanten flies open. Mousse runs in, straight over to Shampoo. She hears him and stares at him} Shampoo: [Ranma?] Shampoo: Nihao. {Mousse grabbs her in a big hug} Mousse: Shampoo. I love you! See, I don't need my glasses anymore. Shampoo: I...[It must be Ranma, but the voice isn't right. Why is he talking about glasses?] I love you too, Ranma. Mousse: I'm not Ranma. {He turns her head to face his} See, no glasses. I guess you've never seen me without them before. No wonder you didn't recognize me. Shampoo:[It is Mousse! ] I...I...{wrenches free and runs crying back into the kitchen.} Mousse: Shampoo, what's wrong? {Scene change to outside the Tendo dojo. Ranma is walking with a distracted look on his face. He does not notice that he is about to walk into the wall of the dojo.} Ranma:[Well, Dr. Tofu told me I probably saw a gaijin witch. So what was she doing flying over my house with Gosunkugi?] Ooph! {He walks head forward into the wall. He staggers back. Akane sticks her head out the door.} Akane: The door's over here. That's the wall. Ranma: I knew that. Akane: Then why did you do it? Ranma: I..I...{obviously can't think of an excuse} Akane: Oh well, come in. I'm cooking supper tonight! Ranma: {Look of abject fear} Uh oh. {cut to Tendo living room. Nabiki is doing homework. Genma and Soun are playing Shogi. Kasumi is watching Television. P-chan is on the couch next to her.} Soun: {to Kasumi} I can't believe you are letting Akane cook dinner. I thought you loved your father. Kasumi: If she never cooks, she'll never get any better. Soun: But I don't know if I will survive her cooking in the interim. Nabiki: {to herself} I wonder if I have enough ready cash to go out to dinner tonight. {Footsteps approach. Everyone looks up. Gosunkugi and Ukyou enter the room.} Ukyou: I have an announcement to make! Nabiki: You're cooking dinner instead of Akane? Soun: Hush! Let her speak! Ukyou: I... Genma: Please cook dinner for us! We... Soun: Sshh! {turns to face Ukyou. While his back is turned, Genma turns the Shogi board around.} Yes... Ukyou: Gosunkugi and I... Kasumi: are getting married? Soun: Congratulations! When is the day? Ukyou: No! We are not getting married! Soun: Changed your mind so soon? Ukyou: We are here so that Gosunkugi can use his magic to cure Ranma and then I'm going to marry Ranma, not Gosunkugi. Everyone:....{Various looks of shock and suprise} End Part 3 ****************************************************************************** Subject: Ranma Fan Fic-part 4 of Putting your heart in the right place. Status: RO Part 4: {Flash back from end of part 3: This looks kinda hazy. We see the Tendo Family lounging around the living room. Soun and Genma are playing Shogi. Ukyo and Gosunkugi have just entered.... Ukyou: Gosunkugi and I... Kasumi: are getting married? Soun: Congratulations! When is the day? Ukyou: No! We are not getting married! Soun: Changed your mind so soon? Ukyou: We are here so that Gosunkugi can use his magic to cure Ranma and then I'm going to marry Ranma, not Gosunkugi. Everyone:....{Various looks of shock and suprise} (We see the wall clock. It reads 4:30pm. We now cut to a few minutes later.Wall Clock says 4:45. The Room has been rearranged. There is a big tub of water in the middle of the room. Ribbons with mystic characters hang over the door. We can hear someone running water in the kitchen. Ranma and Akane walk in.Gosunkugi is dressed like a Shinto priest, and Ukyo as a Shinto priestess. They are making more ribbons. Nabiki is sitting in the corner, still doing her homework. Genma and Soun are by one door looking on. ) Ranma: Hi, Dad. I...hey, what's going on here. Soun: (Suddenly at Ranma's side. Grasps his shoulder.) Gosunkugi has volunteered to cure your curse and then he's marrying.... Ukyou: (looks mad) Will you get it straight! Gosunkugi is going to break the curse and then I'm marrying Ranma! Ranma! not Gosunkugi! Ranma!!! Ranma: I...uh...(Thinks: I'd really like to be free of my curse, but do I want to marry Ukyo. I...) Ulp. What do I have to do? Gosunkugi: Well, my first thought was to find a pool and drown a male in it, then you could... (Everyone stares at him with big eyes.) Gosunkugi: I didn't say it was a good idea! (Everyone is relieved). So then I decided to try a technique I saw in a book once. Ranma: What technique? Gosunkugi: We're going to exorcise the room. Then someone male and uncursed must get in the tub and hold their breath for a long time and bleed a little into the tub to imbue it with their essence. That should be about as good as drowning when we add a little ritual to it. Then you will have to turn into a girl. We will exorcise you, then you bathe in the water. That should do it. Ranma: Is that all? Gosunkugi: Well... Ranma: Well what? Gosunkugi: Er. for best effect, it recommends that the person to be uncursed must be...uh...well... Ranma: Be what? Be What! Gosunkugi: naked. (everyone faints.) {Opening Credits roll...} Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Four: A Cure for Ranma? (We cut to back at the Nekohanten. Cologne kicks Mousse out the front door, then takes Shampoo back to the kitchen . She sits Shampoo down on a stool. Shampoo is staring off over Cologne's head. Cologne looks where she is staring. Nothing is there.) Cologne: What is wrong with you today? Shampoo: Nothing. Cologne: Don't lie to me, great-granddaughter. Shampoo: I..I...(starts to cry again) Cologne: You can't see, can you? Shampoo: (Bawling) Its' all one big blur! I can't tell you apart from a bush! Cologne: (Sighs) How did this happen? Shampoo: I don't know. I was working in the restaurant and suddenly, everything went blurry. Cologne: (looks at her eyes) Your eyes look okay. Do they hurt? Shampoo: No. I just can't see. Mousse: (Suddenly there) Maybe these will help. (Puts his glasses on Shampoo's face. We see Shampoo's perspective. Vague blurs suddenly sharpen into Mousse and Cologne.) Shampoo: I can see! Cologne: I thought you needed those. Mousse: Not anymore. Now I can see as well as anyone else. Cologne: Hmmmm. (Cut to the street outside the Tendo Dojo. The Dapper man, the bearded man, and the woman that we saw earlier at the Nekohanten are perched on a roof across the street. The Bearded Man has a pair of binoculars that he is viewing the Dojo with.) Bearded Man: I think that they must be preparing for some kind of religious ritual. I see two shinto priests, the boy our patron told us about, two old men, two teenage girls, and...a pig in the front yard. Looks like its trying to push the door open. The other teenager is in the kitchen. These people hardly look like the hardened ninjas our patron claimed were holding her fiancee hostage. Dapper Man: I think something strange is up. For the moment, we will watch. Besides, if they are ninjas, one of them is probably watching us right now. Bearded Man: The two old men might be ninjas. One of them is wearing a martial arts outfit at least. Woman: They look like a pair of old fools to me. Dapper Man: What better disguise than to look harmless? Woman: True Dapper Man: Lets' see how they react to outsiders. I'm going to knock on the door and ask for the man of the house. We'll see who is in charge. Woman: Hmm... Dapper Man: You don't approve? Woman: The more I think about this job, the more I think I shouldn't have let you talk me into helping you with this. Dapper Man: I'm beginning to wonder myself why I agreed to do this. Bearded Man: It certainly wasn't the proposal you originally told us about. Dapper Man: Hmmm...Well, lets' go into the lions' den. (He slips off the roof and heads over to the front door of the Dojo. He knocks. The door opens. We hear incoherent shouting from inside the Dojo. Kasumi has answered the door.) Kasumi: Can I help you, sir? Dapper Man: Yes. I am Miyaki Hikaru, a representative of the Tax Bureau. I need to talk to the master of the house about his property taxes. Kasumi: (Eyes get big) Is there a problem? Dapper Man: Just a random audit. May I come in? Kasumi: Well...okay. You'll need to wait in the kitchen while I get father. Dapper Man: Allright. (They go into the kitchen. Dapper Man sits down in a chair while Kasumi heads into the living room. Everyone is arguing. Ranma is shaking Gosunkugi.) Ranma: I've got to be naked through the whole thing? Gosunkugi: Yes...otherwise it might not work. Ranma: But...it...I... Akane: Who has to be present for the ritual? Kasumi: Father, the tax man is here to see you. (Everyone turns and stares for a moment. Soun looks shocked.) Soun: The...tax man? Kasumi: Yes. He said he has to talk to you about your property taxes. Soun: Ulp. Nabiki: Come on, dad. We'll take care of him. I've kept our family finances in good order. (Hustles Soun into the kitchen. Shuts door behind her.) Akane: Well? Gosunkugi: What? Akane: WHO HAS TO BE PRESENT FOR THE RITUAL?! Gosunkugi: Me, Ranma, an uncursed male, and an uncursed female, both preferably with some sort of tie to the subject. Kasumi: tie? Gosunkugi: A blood tie would be ideal, but an emotional tie will do as well. They have to want it to work. The uncursed female acts as my partner in the ritual, while the male provides the model for uncursed masculinity. Kasumi: Sounds rather Jungian to me. Everyone: What? Kasumi:(wan smile) nothing. Ukyou: Well, I'm going to be Gosunkugi's partner in the ritual. He's already taught it to me. Akane: But you'll... Ukyou: see Ranma naked? Well, we are going to get married after we cure him. Akane: (obviously fuming) He's my fiancee, not yours! Ukyo: I thought you didn't like him. Akane: Er, uhm, well... Ranma: Don't I get any say in this? Kasumi: Gosunkugi, does anyone have to see Ranma naked during the ritual? Gosunkugi(Aha look) Why no. The woman could wear a blindfold, then Ranma wouldn't have to be embarrassed. Kasumi: I knew there had to be a simple solution. Who's going to be the uncursed male? Akane: We could get Ryouga to do it. Ranma: I...don't know if that would be a good idea. Akane: Why? Don't you want to be cured? Who else do you have in mind? Ranma: Well... Gosunkugi: I think Ryouga would be fine...if you could find him. He's lost as usual. Ranma: (obvious look of relief)(Very quietly to self) That was a close one. Kasumi: How about Father? He would be very pleased to see Ranma cured. Akane: But he's talking to the tax man right now. Ukyou: How about you, Gosunkugi? You're not under any curses. Gosunkugi: It has to be someone else. Genma: Why? Gosunkugi: I can't hold my breath underwater while bleeding a little and chant at the same time, gesturing over the tub. Genma: Good point. Akane: How about Doctor Tofu? Ranma: Good Idea! Genma: I'll go get him. (leaves). (Time passes. We see Genma get Dr. Tofu, Nabiki spinning a web of BS around the Dapper Man, who looks like he wishes he had picked a different way to get into the house, the impatient Woman and the Bearded Man on the roof, Kasumi making blindfolds, and Akane and Ukyou arguing about who is going to perform the ritual.) Ukyo: (Turns to Ranma) So who do you want to be the woman in the ritual? Ranma: I...uh..well... Akane: (taps foot) Well?! Ranma: Well, you'll be wearing a blindfold....Can't you both do it? Wouldn't two be better than one? Gosunkugi: It would unbalance the mystic energies! You might become a woman forever! Ranma: Eek. Ukyo and Akane: ugh. Akane: I...well, I guess since Ukyo does know the ritual already...and I don't want to make my fiancee into a girl forever... Ukyo: Thank you Akane. Akane: But that doesn't make you his fiancee! Ukyo: I was engaged to him before you were. Akane: His father sold him into engagement for food then ran out on it! Ukyo: I'd marry him cursed or not, would you? Akane: Uh... Genma and Dr. Tofu:(as they enter) We're here! Gosunkugi: Good. Time to start the ritual. (Cut to the kitchen. Kasumi is making Tea. A pile of papers threatens to overwhelm the Dapper Man, who is sitting at the table with Nabiki and Soun. Soun and the Dapper Man both look utterly confused.) Nabiki: See. It not only balances, but you owe us 700,000 yen for overvaluing our house. Dapper Man: I see...(sudden idea) I need to look around the house to check the valuation. Soun: (look of man who has just been rescued from certain doom) I will be glad to show you around the house. (opens door. We hear chanting. He looks in, blanches, slams door, stands in front of it.) How about if we start with the training hall. Dapper Man: What's going on in there? I hear chanting. Kasumi: They're... Nabiki: Secret Family Shinto Ritual. If an outsider intrudes, the spirits will filet you and sell you at the market for half price. Dapper Man: What? Soun: Yes. Nabiki is right. I will show you the training hall. Hopefully, they will be finished by the time we complete that. Kasumi, come tell us when the ritual is over. Nabiki, help me show the Tax Man the training hall. Both: Yes, Father. (We cut to the roof where the Bearded Man and the Woman are watching the house. They see Soun, Dapper Man, and Nabiki come out the front and circle around to the training hall entrance.) Bearded Man: Now what's he doing? Woman: I don't know. They've pulled the shades on the room they were all in. Bearded Man: And I think the woman who answered the door is waving at us from the kitchen. Woman: As soon as we get him out of there, I'm leaving. This can't possibly be the way she told us it was. Bearded Man: Tatewaki Kodachi has a few things to explain, I think. Kasumi: (leans out the window) Yoo-hoo, up there on the roof. That isn't very safe. You might want to come down before you slip and fall off. Bearded Man: That's the last straw. We are getting out of here. (Inside the training hall. We can here chanting through the door to the living room. Nabiki is pointing out features of the hall.) Nabiki: Roof--Tile--value: 7 million yen. Training mats--6, 70,000 yen value each. Total 420,000 yen. Wall supports... Dapper Man: (keeps looking towards door to living room.) Yes. Well, how about the rest of the house. Soun: The Back Yard! We must show you the extent of the Back yard. Nabiki: Yes. It's very nice. Dapper Man: I need to see the inside of the house! (Dojo doors fly open. Bearded Man and Woman have entered) Bearded Man: Time to go. Dapper Man: (comes over to the Bearded Man) I haven't gotten to see the inside of the house yet. Why did you come in? Woman: We've been set up or something. The girl who answered the door saw us and waved. Something is going on here. We're going looking for the person who got us into this stupid affair. Soun (to Nabiki) I hope we're not in trouble. Nabiki: Hmm. I think I can guess what's going on here. (strides over to the trio). Gentlemen, lets' make a deal. (Cut to the site of the ritual. The inside of the tub is a bit reddish now. Dr. Tofu has just reentered the room, with still wet hair. Ukyou and Akane are wearing blindfolds. Akane is sitting in the corner with Genma. Ranma has just dumped water on himself and is now a girl. Gosunkugi is on one side of Ranma and Ukyou on the other. They begin to chant, waving sticks with exorcism ribbons on them) Gosunkugi:Curse, Curse, go away! Ukyou: Don't come again on any day! Gosunkugi: Be it rain or... Ukyou: Be it shine... Gosunkgi: In the day.. Ukyou: Or at night time... Gosunkugi: Be he near... Ukyou: Or be he far... Gosunkugi: When he is wet... Ukyou: Or when he is dry... Gosunkugi: Let him remain... Ukyou: Always a guy! Gosunkugi: Spirit of the curse! I command you to come out of this man! Ukyou: I command you to return to the place where you were spawned! Gosunkugi: No more shall you plague the line of Saotome! Ukyou: When Ranma enters the water... Gosunkugi: He shall become man, not woman... Ukyou: and stay man forevermore! Gosunkugi: Ranma, get in the water. (Ranma gets into the tub of water. He sinks down all the way into it. We see his hair turn Black. He gets up male. Looks at himself:) Ranma: It worked! (Grabs a towel) (Ukyo and Akane rip off their blindfolds, rush over and hug Ranma) Both: I'm happy for you. Ranma (hugs them back and blushes a little) Me too. (wrenches loose and dances around) Cured! I'm cured! (Turns to Gosunkugi) Would this work for Dad, Gosunkugi? Gosunkugi: I think so. Everyone: Hurray! (End Part 4) ***************************************************************************** Subject: Ranma Fan Fic part 5--putting your heart in the right place Status: RO (open Part 5) ( Everyone is eating Dinner. Ukyo and Kasumi are serving everyone. Gosunkugi is in the seat of honor.) Ranma: A toast to the end of the curse on the Saotome line! Everyone: Hear, hear! Ukyo: Now you can finally tell your mom where you are. Ranma: Yes. That threat is over. Ukyo: And we can get married... Soun: Ranma is engaged to Akane. Ukyo: He was engaged to me first! Soun: Long before that, Genma and I decided Ranma would marry one of my daughters. Kasumi: Who do you want to marry, Ranma? Ranma: I..uh..well...I've known Ucchan longer, but Dad and Mr. Tendo did arrange I would marry one of his daughters...but I wasn't given a choice in any of these engagements...and... Kasumi: But do you love Akane or Ucchan? Who do YOU want to marry? Ranma: Well, Ucchan can cook better than Akane, but .... Akane: Are you saying I can't cook?! Ranma: Akane was nice to me when everyone else was mad because they thought I was a girl and they were expecting a boy... Akane: (looks surprised)... Ranma: But then she got mad when SHE walked in on ME when I was naked... Ukyo: (looks surprised)(thinking)(She's seen him naked?) Ranma: And Ucchan has never done anything like that... Ukyo: (smiles) Ranma: But I always thought Ucchan was a boy until recently... Soun: (looks at Ukyo, looks confused) Ranma: and they're both beautiful when they try to be... Akane: (looks stunned) Ukyo: (smiles) Ranma: But Akane acts so unfeminine all the time... Akane: (Snarls) Ranma: But she always stands up for those who can't defend themselves... Akane: (looks really confused now. So does everyone else) Nabiki: Are you going to keep this up all day long? Ranma: I've really got to think about this before I make any committment. Gosunkugi: What about Shampoo? (opening Credits roll) Ranma1/2 FanFic--Putting your Heart in the Right Place By John Biles Based on the Creations of Rumiko Takahashi Part 5: Whose Wedding Bells do I hear? (scene cuts to the Nekohanten. We see Shampoo going about her waitressing, wearing Mousse's glasses. He is following her around, averting minor disasters in her wake. He smiles, she looks wan. She shivers.) Mousse: Are you all right, dear Shampoo. Shampoo: I...someone must have been talking about me. (a tear runs down her face.) Mousse: Don't cry(hugs her) Shampoo: I...I...how could you ever stand this? Everything is a blur, even with the glasses. Mousse: The vision of your loveliness pierced even that fog and inspired me to continue. Shampoo: Oh, I...(begins to cry heavily) Mousse: Don't be sad. I won't leave you. (cut to the Tendo dojo. Ranma is sitting in the window of his room. He is staring out into the night sky. The door opens. Ryouga walks in) Ryouga: I can not let you marry Akane. (Ranma ignores him and stares out the window.) Ryouga: You must marry Ukyo. Then I can marry Akane and we can both be happy. Ranma: Will you tell her about P-Chan? Ryouga: I... Ranma: I have kept your secret despite many temptations to tell her. Please leave me alone to think. Ryouga: I heard they broke your curse. Ranma: I'm sure Gosunkugi can cure you like he cured me. Ryouga: Thank you, Ranma. (he leaves). (The door opens again. This time it is Ukyo.) Ukyo: Ranma? (Ranma continues staring out the window.) Ranma: --- Ukyo: I just...are you okay? (comes over to him) Ranma: I need to be alone to think. Please don't be offended by that. Ukyo: Ranma, I... Ranma: (turns around.) Thanks for coming to see me, but I need to make up my mind what I want to do. Ukyo: Ranma, I love you, whatever you decide, I want you to be happy. Ranma: Thank you, Ukyo. I wish I knew for sure how I feel... Ukyo:... Ranma: But whatever I decide, thank you for getting Gosunkugi to cure me. I could never thank you enough. Ukyo: Just choose wisely. I'll see you tomorrow. (She leans over and kisses him, then turns and leaves) (Ranma stands there in shock for a moment, then begins to turn back around. He sees his reflection in the mirror. something is wrong. Its his female form reflected in the mirror with a look of despair. Ranma cries out in shock.) (The door opens. Kasumi is in the doorway.) Kasumi: Ranma, are you okay? Ranma: I...my reflection, it...(looks at mirror. Reflection is back to normal.) My reflection looked like me as a woman, but now its back to normal. Kasumi: You probably just imagined it. Ranma: But why? Kasumi: Did she look happy, sad, angry? Ranma: Despairing. Kasumi: Probably it was a trick of the light, and your mind filled in the details. You look pretty despairing yourself right now. Ranma: I have a big choice I don't want to make. Kasumi: The wedding? Ranma: I don't know who to marry or why or even if I should. Kasumi: Well, neither of your engagements has been very normal. Ranma: My life has been so strange. Until I came here, I hadn't had a real home since I was very little. I had to hide from my own mother for fear I would have to commit suicide if she found out what had happened to me. Dad engaged me for food once and for friendship a second time. One of my fiancees, I thought was a boy for ten years, and I can't get along with the other one. Kasumi: You always seem to get along fine with Akane. Ranma: I...are we talking about the same Akane? Kasumi: You always try to defend her, you never let anyone try to win her affections, you've never really tried to break the engagement, you never really hurt her when she gets mad and attacks you--I'd say you really care about her. You're both too proud to drop your defenses and admit it, but I'd say she really cares about you too. Ranma:I... Kasumi: She cooks for you... Ranma: She's an awful cook! Kasumi: So was I at first. But she cares enough to keep trying, even though she knows you fear her cooking. It really hurts her when you won't even try it. Ranma: But I... Kasumi: She has never betrayed your engagement, despite having virtually every guy in her high school after her. She could have any man she wanted. She gets jealous when other women flirt with you, just like you get mad when men flirt with her... Ranma: We are engaged. Kasumi: And despite fighting all the time, and supposedly "hating" each other, you keep to it better than many engaged couples do. Ranma: You really think she likes me? Kasumi: yes. Ranma: But what about Ukyo? Kasumi: How do you feel about Ukyo? Ranma: She's my oldest friend. She's the best cook I know. She is always nice to me and didn't care about my curse. And she loves me. Kasumi: But how do you FEEL about Ukyo? Ranma: I care about her, but I don't know if I want to...to... Kasumi: marry her? Ranma: yeah. I don't know what love really feels like. My life has been so messed up... Kasumi: Maybe you should try a real date with each of them to see how you feel just alone with that person. You've never been out on a real, voluntary date, have you? Ranma: Not really. I...What would be a good date? Kasumi:(gets up to leave) You'll have to figure that one out yourself. Ranma: Thanks, Kasumi. I just hope Ryouga doesn't flip if I go on a date with Akane. Kasumi: (turns in Doorway) So when are you going to tell Akane about Ryouga? Ranma: (stunned) You know...about... Kasumi: Its' utterly obvious. I don't know why she can't figure it out. I haven't told her because it would cause so much trouble.... Ranma: She'd go berserk. I'd die for not telling her before, and she'd try to rip Ryouga limb from limb. Then everyone else would die too, just on general principle. Kasumi: I don't have the answer to anything. If you hurry, you can catch Akane before she goes to sleep. Ranma: (very softly) yeah... (Ranma goes out and down the hall to Akane's room.) Ranma: This would be easier if I had some passion spice or something. Oh well. I'd better knock first. (knocks) Akane: (through door) Who is it? Ranma: Its' me, Ranma. Akane: (opens door) What? Ranma: I...uhh...welll...we've never..that is? Akane: (impatient) spit it out. Ranma: I've decided that before I decide who I'm going to marry, I really need to try to..welll, it was Kasumi's idea... Akane: What, what was Kasumi's idea? Ranma: Will you go out on a date with me? I...I promise not to call you "uncute" for the entire evening. I'll even pay for it,...somehow. Akane (in shock)...A date? Ranma: Is that a yes or a no? Akane: I...uhh...well... Ranma: ... Akane: Um, okay. (end credits on part 5) (Begin part 6) (We see Shampoo bicycling down the street, wearing Mousse's glasses. She comes around a corner and sees the Tendo dojo. She backs up, takes off the glasses, puts them in the carrybag slung over her shoulder, parks the bike, chains it to a telephone pole, and staggers up the street to the Tendo Dojo. Finally, she makes it to the front door and knocks. Kasumi answers the door.) Kasumi: Why hello, Shampoo. Would you like something to eat? There's some breakfast left over. Shampoo: Thank you, yes. Is Ranma here? (sits down, Kasumi starts preparing a bowl for Shampoo.) Kasumi: He's left for school already. Shampoo: I wanted to see if he wanted to come to eat at the Nekohanten tonight. Great-grandmother is making something special with some new herbs we just got in. Kasumi: I think he has a...(pauses) he's busy tonight. (Door flies open. Ryouga walks in) Ryouga: Is Akane here? (He has a very happy/proud look on his face) Kasumi: Nope. She is at school already. Would you like something to eat, Ryouga? Ryouga: Sure. (sits down) Hi, Shampoo. Shampoo: (stares at him) Ranma? Ryouga: What? I'm Ryouga. Shampoo: oh, sorry. (Kasumi has almost finished preparing their food. She is about to put the salt away when she notices a small wooden salt shaker labeled--Kasumi's special spice, ask her before using. She looks back at Shampoo and Ryouga. They are staring at each other and talking about how life would be simpler if Ranma would marry Shampoo and Akane would marry Ryouga. Kasumi looks back at the spice. She smiles and shakes some of it into Ryouga and Shampoo's food.) Kasumi(thinking) Here's where we see if those herbalism books are accurate. Kasumi: Breakfast is served. (Shampoo and Ryouga dig in. They seem quite pleased with the food.) Ryouga: This is really good. Shampoo:yes. Definitely. Kasumi: Why thank you. (Ryouga and Shampoo both yawn. They keep eating and collapse into slumber as they finish off their food. Kasumi clears the dishes away.) (Mousse enters:) Mousse: Have you seen...Hey.(goes over to Shampoo, shakes her, she snores away.) Kasumi: I guess they were really tired. Maybe you should take her home. Mousse: Good idea. (picks her up, carries her out.) Kasumi: Dad! (Soun enters.) Soun: Yes, daughter. Kasumi: Ryouga fell asleep at the table, can you take him to the guest room so I can finish clearing off the table. Soun: Poor lad. Certainly. (He hefts Ryouga over the shoulder and carries him off.) (Kasumi goes to the spice cabinet, puts the special spice back into the cabinet, closes it, goes to the cookbook collection, and gets one labeled, "Special spices". We see her page through the book, but the opening credits roll before we see what she is looking for.) Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part six: Affairs of the Heart (Back at the Nekohanten, Mousse takes Shampoo back to her bedroom, puts her on the bed. He enters the kitchen where Cologne is hard at Cologne: What were you doing with Shampoo just now? Mousse: Something has put her to sleep. She slept through being carried home from the Tendo dojo. Cologne: Hmm. I'd better take a look at her. (leaves). Mousse: (wanders over to see what Cologne was making.) Love noodles? Sigh. Another effort to enchant Ranma to fall in love with her. If he loved her, she wouldn't need noodles. Hmmm...the active ingredient is the powdered siren's hair. (looks at the bottle). This looks just like salt. Hmmm. (We see Mousse take a salt shaker and switch its components with the powdered siren's hair.) Mousse: Well, that takes care of that. What other recipies are in this book, anyway--passion spice, beefbowl of strength, passion pancakes--I bet Ukyo would like that recipe--spiritual sukiyaki, exorcism eggplant--these are all magical recipies. Hmmm. (looks at "salt" shaker in hand. pockets it. Heads for the door.) Cologne: She's had sleep spice given to her. Help me cook up an antidote. Mousse:all right. What do we need first? Cologne: You finish these noodles I was making, I'll make the antidote. Mousse: (smirks out of Cologne's sight) Yes, ma'am. (scene cuts to the outside of the Tatewaki mansion. The Bearded Man, the Dapper Man, and the blond Woman are watching it from a hotel balcony a far ways off.) Bearded Man: So, got any good ideas. Dapper Man: Well, our erstwhile employer just left for school, so we could follow her or lay a trap for her return. Woman: I'll follow her, you lay the trap. She goes to a girls' school, after all. Dapper Man: And... Woman: (pulls off her camo fatigues, and rapidly fiddles with her hair, puts on glasses. She now looks like a nerdy blond teenager in a school uniform.) Taa Daah! Bearded Man: Wow. Dapper Man: Good job. You follow her. Just be careful. She seems rather unstable. Woman: (as she leaves) I'm used to unstable people. Dapper Man: And now to set up a trap. (Cut to Furinkan High. Ranma, Gosunkugi, Akane, and Ukyo are in class. Gosunkugi is obviously very tired, and so is Ukyo, but not as badly.) Sensei: So, Gosunkugi, what were the origins of the Shogunate? Gosunkugi: The emperor (yawn) The Emperor (Yawn)...wanted to take a nap. (head goes down on the desk) Sensei: This is the last straw. You've been nodding off all day long. In the hall with a bucket, now! Gosunkugi: But, I... Sensei: NOW! Gosunkugi: Yes, (yawn) Sensei. (He goes out in the hall and takes up bucket holding position #1. He hears Footsteps. It is Kuno.) Kuno: Is it true that Ranma is going to marry Akane soon? Gosunkugi: He may marry Ukyo, instead. He hasn't made up his mind. Kuno: I will never let him take away my precious Akane, or the pig-tailed girl either. This I Tatewaki Kuno do swear! (Holds Bokken over his head. Lightning and thunder flashes around him.) Gosunkugi: But how will you stop him? Kuno: I don't ...Ahah! I will get you to use one of your rituals to prevent it! Gosunkugi: But I don't... Kuno: Silence, lowerclassman. It is an honor for you to serve me! You will find a way to keep Ranma from marrying Akane! (stalks off) Gosunkugi: I think I'll just find a way to take a nap. Curing Ryouga kept me up all night almost. I think Ukyo is about conked out too. I'm glad she helped me. I hope Ranma picks her. Then I could marry Akane... (Back in the Classroom, time has passed and the class has broken for lunch.) Ranma: Where's Gosunkugi? Ukyo: Asleep in the hallway. (yawn) Sounds like a good idea to me. (staggers out the door) Akane: What kept them up last night? Ranma: I have no idea.(looks distracted) Akane: So where are...uh...when do we... Ranma: (suddenly clicks back into reality) What, our date? Akane: Uh, yes. Ranma: We could go to...no, that's a bad idea. Akane: What's a bad idea? Ranma: I can't think of any restaraunts that would be safe to go to that are any good. Akane: What? Ranma: Well, I always eat at Ucchan's or at the Nekohanten, but I don't think that... Akane: it would be a good idea to eat at them. True. I....(Ranma is staring into her eyes. He sees himself reflected in them, then he sees the image change to that of his former girl form. He starts back.) ...know a good place. Ranma, are you okay? Ranma: I think I need to talk to Dr. Tofu, I keep seeing things. Akane: Things? You have been acting a bit wierd. Ranma: I have? Like what? Akane: Like not getting mad at me, asking me out, jumping at every little noise. You didn't get up early to practice with your dad, either. Ranma: Neither did he. We both overslept. Akane: You never miss your morning practices. Ranma: I just feel kind of drained. Maybe the ritual wore Ukyo, Gosunkugi, and I out. They did it again for dad, so that's why I feel drained and they are exhausted. Akane: That does make sense. (pause). I know a great restaurant called Ma Maison. It's french food, but... Ranma: Okay, that'd be great. (stares off into space again.) Akane: (thinking) Something is wrong with Ranma. (We cut back to the Tendo dojo. Soun and Genma are playing Shogi. Kasumi enters.) Kasumi: So when are you going to let your wife know where you are, now that you are cured, Mr. Saotome. Genma: (freezes in mid-move) I...hadn't thought of that. Soun: Shame on you. You should call her right away. Genma: Well... Kasumi: I'm cooking a special dinner tonight, although Ranma and Akane will miss it. Soun: Why will they miss it? Kasumi: They are going out on a date tonight. Soun: Hurrah! (Grabs Genma and dances around with him) Kasumi: He's going out with Ukyo tommorrow night. He's trying to make up his mind who to marry. Soun: I will congratulate them when they come home. Kasumi: Uhm... Genma: I think that would embarrass Ranma. It would be better to act like we don't know until they tell us. Soun: oh. (looks dejected) (Scene cut to Gosunkugi and Ukyo cleaning the classroom. They keep slumping over desks, tripping over their brooms, and standing and yawning.) Gosunkugi: I should have just stayed home. I'm so tired. (yawn) Ukyo: Yeah, I think staying up until 1 am fixing Ryouga really wore me out too. Gosunkugi: But now I have another rival for Akane's heart, sigh. Ukyo: Why do you want Akane? Gosunkugi: I have always worshipped her--her smile, her grace, her friendliness, her skill. She is like a goddess to me. (yawn) Ukyo: (Yawn). Well, if Ranma marries me, that will be one less rival for you. I (yawn) think you probably have as much of a chance as Ryouga did. If he tried to marry Akane, he'd get lost on the way to the wedding. (Sits down against the wall.) Gosunkugi: (sits down near her) Yeah. So why do you (yawn) want to marry Ranma? Ukyo: Well, we met when we were very little. My dad raised me after mom died, but he wanted to find me a good husband. I got engaged to Ranma basically because Ranma's dad needed food. Then after staying a while, they ran out on it. We were humiliated. No one else would set up an engagement with me. Eventually, I came looking for Ranma to see what he was like now. He hadn't really changed, except for being older, and cursed. At first, the quest for marriage was a duty thing, but I soon fell in love with him. I understand why he contemplates marrying Akane, but I think we're better suited for each other. (She is obviously beginning to fall asleep.) Gosunkugi: (slumping over towards her. He is close to slumber too. Yawns) Why? Ukyo: We both can cook, fight, and are dedicated to what we do. We get along well and enjoy being around each other. And I know he cares for me. He and Akane squabble, she can't cook, and there are plenty of other guys she could have. Gosunkugi: But does she want any other guys? (They both pass out, and slide over, heads touching, forming an upsidedown V) (Back at the Nekohanten. Cologne feeds Shampoo a concoction. Shampoo sits up, stretches her back and says:) Shampoo: I'm sorry, Kasumi. I guess I fell asleep at the table. Cologne: I'm not Kasumi, and this is not the table. Mousse: What happened? Shampoo: Where am I? Cologne: This is the Nekohanten. Why aren't you wearing your glasses? Shampoo: Those are Mousse's glasses, not... Cologne: Until your sight returns to normal, they are yours. Mousse: I don't need them anymore. Cologne: Did you ask Ranma to come eat at the Nekohanten tonight? Shampoo: He was at school when I got there. (pause) Shampoo: How did I get back here? Mousse: I carried you back. Cologne: What were you doing when you fell asleep? Shampoo: Eating some breakfast that Kasumi made. Cologne: Someone fed you magic sleep spice. I could see the signs. Mousse: But who could have... Cologne: So Kasumi thinks she can match wits with my family? The mouse has grown fangs. We'll see about that. (Stalks out) Shampoo: Where is my bag, Mousse?...I can't find it. (She keeps looking in the same two places over and over) Mousse: (picks it up off the floor, gets out the glasses, puts them on her face.) Here they are. Shampoo: (looks at Mousse) How come you have been helping me so much? Mousse: Because I love you. Shampoo: I can't marry you, Mousse. Mousse: (sits down by her) Why? Shampoo: By village law, I MUST marry Ranma. Mousse: But you must kill him too, by village law. Shampoo: Marriage takes precedence. That's what great-grandmother says. Mousse: But he was engaged to Akane first. Shampoo: I can get rid of Akane. Mousse: Do you think he will love a woman who kills his fiancee? Shampoo: But, I...I love him. I need, want,...What can I do? Mousse: Why can't you love me? Shampoo: Why do you love me, Mousse? Mousse: I have always loved you. You are the vision of feminine perfection. You are strong, determined, beautiful, and smart. I think about you every minute. I can neither forget you nor win your heart, it seems, but I must strive for your love. Loving you is hell; loving you is heaven. You have been my delight and my torment. I burn for you; you cast me out. (puts an arm around her) I care for you, want you, need you, desire you; you scorn me, turn away, need another, desire someone else, yet I can not give up on you. Perhaps I am mad, but I love you more than anything else in the world. I would follow you to hell and back. I... (Shampoo is crying.) Shampoo: I wish I could love you...but I can't control my heart any more than you can control yours. I've been so bad to you...I never understood why you wouldn't give up and go away...I wanted to break your heart so you would go find someone who could love you...I'm sorry. Mousse: (Shampoo is bawling by now. He hugs her.) Don't cry, little kitten. Don't cry. (Scene cuts to the Tendo dojo. Ranma is trying to figure out what to wear on the date. He goes through various items of clothing.) Ranma: I feel like a girl, going through all these outfits. (looks up at mirror, he sees girl self.) Aahhh! (The girl image moves independently of Ranma's motions, looks sad, and makes a beckoning motion. Ranma comes closer to the mirror and stares at it. The image's lips are moving, but no sound comes out. The door opens, it is Dr. Tofu.) Dr. Tofu: Feeling Narcisitic, are we? Ranma: (points at mirror) Do you, ah, see...well Tofu: (comes over and looks at mirror) Hmm, that looks like your female self. Ranma: Well, yes. Everytime I look into anything reflective, I see it. I even saw it in Akane's eyes at lunch. And I feel strange. I thought it was fatigue, but you see it too. Dr. Tofu: This never happened before the curse was broken, did it? Ranma: Not that I ever noticed. Tofu: Probably it is a side effect of the cure. Or maybe it reflects some psychological problem. Ranma: I'm not crazy! Tofu: For over a year, she (points at mirror) has been a part of your life. Now she has been cut out of it. Ranma: But she's me! was me! Tofu: She protected you from having to decide on who to marry, who you loved. Ranma: I... Tofu: She let you do things, go places, see things you never could have on your own. Ranma: You talk about her as if she was someone else. Tofu: In a sense, she was. Your curse let you experience life from both sides. As her, you did things the male Ranma never could, because "men don't do that. Its' okay if you are a woman." Ranma: I... Tofu: You curse was a source both of power and trouble. Or it could be a sign of something else... Ranma: What? Tofu: The curse may not be truly broken. Ranma: not broken? Dr. Tofu: none of the other cures ever worked forever. Maybe they were defective, and maybe not. Ranma: What do you mean, maybe not? Dr. Tofu: There may be no permanent cure, or it could have deeper significance. Ranma: Huh? Dr. Tofu: The curse gave you power, but at a price. You may need that power one day. Perhaps that is why you have never been cured successfully, the time has not yet come for it to end. Ranma: A purpose? Like what? Dr. Tofu: Like... (Kasumi opens the door.) Kasumi: Hello, Dr. Tofu (Dr. Tofu goes to estatic over the presence of Kasumi mode. Ranma looks aggravated.) Dr. Tofu: So nice to be seeing you Kasumi. What a coincidence, our meeting here that is. Kasumi: Would you like a snack? Dr. Tofu: Why yes, certainly. Lets' go. (walks into wall) Kasumi: (grabs his arm) This way, Dr. Tofu. Ranma: Wait, what about...(They exit). oh well, once he sees her, he isn't any use for hours anyway. (looks at the mirror). I don't understand you any better than I understand any other woman...(Image nods its head) Ranma: Are you trying to tell me something?(Image nods again) What? (it looks frustrated, beckons again. Ranma tries stepping into the mirror, bounces off it.) Oww. Well, maybe after the date, I can try figuring you out. Ahah! (picks up part of a suit.) Maybe we could dress up. That would put us in a different mood. (image smiles at him). You like that? (It smiles more) Great. Now an image of me under a curse is giving me fashion tips. (Scene cuts to Akane's room. Nabiki is trying to help Akane figure out something to wear. ) Akane: How about this(holds up a flower print shirt and some slacks)? Nabiki: Nope. Akane: How about this? (Holds up a nice green dress) Nabiki: Nope. Akane: How about this? (Akane goes through about 6 more outfits. Nabiki keeps rejecting them.) Akane: So what do you think I should wear? Nabiki: Well, it shouldn't be too dressy because Ranma never dresses nicely, but you don't want to look like a complete slob either. You want to show off your figure, but you don't want to look like a slut. Hmmm. (Digs through piles of clothing, looks in drawers, wanders into closet) Akane: What do you think Ranma will wear? Nabiki: Probably that Red satin outfit he always wears. Or maybe jeans and a t-shirt, if he has any. Akane: It is a date. Nabiki: It is Ranma. Akane:... Nabiki: So why is he taking you out anyway. It's not the anniversary of your engagement is it? Akane: No. Nabiki: Did father or Mr. Saotome put him up to it? Akane: I don't know. Nabiki: Does this mean he's definitely marrying you instead of Ukyo? Akane: I don't know. Nabiki: Do you know where you are going on the date? Akane: Other than that I'm picking the restaraunt, I don't know. Nabiki: Do you know anything about this date at all? Akane: STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS AND HELP ME FIND SOMETHING TO WEAR! (Nabiki hands Akane some clothing. She heads over to the mirror to change, stepping just off screen.) Akane: Have you seen P-chan? Nabiki: no. He's lost again, I guess. Akane: Yes, he runs away a lot, but he always comes back. I hope he's not hungry. Nabiki: So, do you think Ranma will decide to marry Ukyo or you? Akane: I think he'll continue not to make up his mind who he wants to marry. (sounds a little peeved) Nabiki: I don't think he has an excuse anymore now that the curse is broken. Akane: If it lasts. Nabiki: What? Akane: None of the other cures took. He never made that much of an effort to find a cure anyway. Nabiki: You really think so. Akane: I don't know why. He always said he hated being under the curse, but why didn't he leave and go looking for a cure. Nabiki: Maybe he was afraid there was no cure and didn't want to have his hope taken away. Akane: Hmph. Nabiki: And maybe there was something here he didn't want to leave. Akane:...(looks surprised) (Cut briefly to--a bedroom where Ryouga is snoozing on a futon.--to a classroom where Ukyo and Gosunkugi are still clonked out--then to the hotel balcony overlooking the Tatewaki estate. The blond woman, the dapper man, and the bearded man are watching the sun set behind the mansion.) Woman: Well, did you set up the preparations for our revenge? Dapper Man: Yes Bearded Man: When the clock strikes six... (We hear a bell ring, obviously a clock bell. It peals six times. We hear explosions at the mansion, and gas starts pouring out of it. People begin fleeing the building coffing and choking.) Dapper Man: Sulfur at sunset. How sweet. Woman: I have laid the groundwork for part two of our vengeance. Bearded Man: Good. (Scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Shampoo is getting dressed up. Cologne is helping her.) Cologne: You need to get to Ranma's house before they eat dinner. Shampoo: Yes. Cologne: You haven't forgotten the plan have you? Shampoo: No. Cologne: And don't take off your glasses or you'll end up bring Ryouga back here instead of Ranma. Shampoo: But the glasses, they... Cologne: You want to end up talking to plants like Mousse always does. Shampoo: Not anymore. Cologne: Yes. I need to find out how he did that so we can fix your sight... (We cut to the Tendo dojo. Akane and Nabiki are coming down the stairs. Akane ended up wearing the flower print shirt and jeans that were her first choice. Nabiki comes around the corner from the stairs before Akane does. She sees Ranma standing in his suit, talking with Genma. Nabiki turns, grabs Akane before she rounds the corner, and begins running up the stairs dragging Akane) Akane: What are you doing? (down the hallway...) Nabiki: He's in a suit! Akane: What? Nabiki: (Round the corner into Akane's room) He's in a suit. We have to find something nice! (frantic clothing search begins.) Akane: I thought you said he wouldn't wear anything nice. (sounds frantic) Nabiki: So sue me! (sounds frantic too) (We cut to Ranma and Genma in the living room.) R