From: Quek Kwang-Ee This is a fanfic done by another authour who's Fiction is a little different from mine. However, since his provider does not allow RAAC, it fell to me to post it. Please send the comments to me or to him directly. In any case, enjoy. From Q. ps. his E-mail is: "The DragonBard" _________ My fanfics are at: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3583/index.html Ranma 1/2: Cousins. Cologne, head Matriarch of the Chinese Amazons, and one of the two most skilled martial artists alive, sat resting in the Cat Cafe, her home here in Japan. It was a quiet day, few customers, Mousse was running errands, and Shampoo was once again trying to get her lawful husband, Ranma Saotome, to go out on a date with her. "Oh the difficulties of youth," she mused. Just then, she heard the door to the restaurant open and close quickly. "Great-grandmother!" The word startled the 300-year-old amazon. No one in Japan but Shampoo called her that, and that was not Shampoo's voice! Cologne turned to see who had entered. It was an attractive woman, seemingly in her late thirties, wearing a traditional Japanese Obi, and strapped to her back was a katana. The woman looked somehow familiar to Cologne, but she ignored it, after all, in a lifespan of 300 years, it got to the point where 'everyone' you encountered reminded you of an acquaintance long dead. "Great-grandmother, it's me Losange!" At the name, Cologne's eyes widened. "Losange, of course. Forgive me but it has been almost twenty years." Cologne said as she hoped on her staff over to Losange. Losange was Shampoo's cousin, her mother having left the Village of the Amazons before Losange's birth to live with her Japanese husband. "Quite all right, Great-grandmother," Losange said with a smile. "I was quite surprised when Mother told me that you were in Japan." "She told me that you had been pursuing one with the Kiss of Death, but that complications arose, and now you were pursuing my cousin's husband." "That's right. Come, let us sit down and talk. When your mother and I finally started talking to each other again, she said that there were some problems with your husband." Just then, as the women sat down, two Chinese teenagers, a young man wearing glasses and robes, and a voluptuous looking young woman, walked into the store, arguing in Chinese. "But Shampoo, I love you!" The young man said. "Maybe, Mousse, but I do 'NOT' 'LOVE' 'YOUUUU'!!!!!" With that said, the young woman, Shampoo, pulled a bonbori (Chinese Mace) out of nowhere, and proceeded to bean the unfortunate Mousse in the head. Shampoo turned to see her Great-grandmother talking to a stranger who looked strangely familiar. "Ah, Shampoo," Cologne said, "I see that Mousse once again interfered with your plans, I'll have to cage him up next time. That is not important at the moment, as I want you to meet your cousin Losange." She looked at the crushed amazon male. "Mousse, get some tea for our guest." On hearing this, Shampoo frowned in puzzlement. She knew most of the amazons on sight, and she was familiar with all of her relatives in the Village, but she had never met this woman before. "Losange was born here in Japan, Shampoo." Cologne said, guessing the cause of her great-granddaughters bewilderment. "Her mother, Hikku was your mother's elder sister. Hikku decided to travel with her husband to see more of the world, since she had married an outsider. I hadn't seen her since before you were born, because of a slight disagreement I had with Hikku. Fortunately, a month back, I decided to set things straight and we made up." With her confusion relieved, Shampoo turned to her cousin. "Pleased to meet you cousin." She said. "I am pleased to meet you too, Shampoo." Losange said. "Now, what is this problem you seem to have?" Shampoo sat opposite the two older women. "All fault of Husband's Stupid-Father. Shampoo chase girl to kill, because of Kiss of Death. Then get beat by Husband. Later find out that Husband and girl person. He fall into Spring of Drowned Girl, so he not real woman, so must marry not kill. Shampoo happy!" She said with a grin. "Husband handsome, and even Great-grandmother say he strong fighter!" Losange, being a descendent of the Chinese Amazons was completely familiar with the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo. She turned to Cologne, clearly impressed. "For 'you' to say that, Great-grandmother," Losange said, "He must truly be skilled." Just then, Mousse came in to the room with the tea. At Cologne's gesture he started putting down the cups. When he came to Losange. He stopped, took of and cleaned his glasses, put them back on again, and gave her an intent look. Suddenly, realizing what he was doing, Mousse quickly put down Losange's teacup and left. "Idiot." Cologne muttered. "How rude of him." Losange said, as she sipped her tea. "Even worse. Stupid Father also engage Husband to two girls." Shampoo said. "Spatula Girl, and Violent Girl." "What a dishonorable thing to do," Losange said, frowning. "To engage your child once is a time-honored tradition. But to do so twice would be almost unforgivable." "It is even more difficult." Cologne said, in her dry, dusty voice. "Son-in-law possesses the feared Neko-ken." "The Neko-ken?" Losange asked. "What is that. My husband mentioned it once, but. . ." "The Neko-ken is possibly the most feared martial arts technique known to humanity." Cologne replied. "Even with my 300 years of experience, 'I' am still in awe at its power. "To master it, you must take the victim, wrap them in fish meat, and put them in a pit of starving cats. You must do this again, and again, until, finally, their mind snaps, and in their mind, they BECOME a CAT! Forever after, they who wield the Neko-ken will feel unbearable fear at the mere sight of a cat, and if they are near one too long, the Neko-ken will change them once again. Only a great shock or sleeping in the lap of one they love may bring them out of it. Son-in-law's father was too stupid to learn this before subjecting Son-in-law to the torture of mastering the Neko-ken." Losange had grown pale at hearing the tale, think of what the young man must have been subjected to. "But Great-grandmother," she asked, "I can see why that would be a problem, but why does this, Neko-ken pose such a problem to their marriage?" Cologne simply turned to Shampoo, who looked down at her teacup. "Shampoo fall in Spring of Drowned Cat." She said. Losange nodded. "Ah." She said. "You do have a problem cousin." Losange turned to Cologne. "So, what is 'Husband's' name?" "Ranma, Ranma Saotome." Cologne told her. At that name, Losange's face grew as pale as a corpse, and her eyes as big as platters. "Ranma." She whispered. Then, her face grew grim. "I'll kill him! I...WILL...KILL...HIMMMM!!!!" She raged, pulling out her katana. Cologne and Shampoo were stunned at their relative's reaction. What had Ranma done to her? "Who kill, Losange?" Shampoo asked. "Genma, my idiot of a husband!" This startled Cologne and Shampoo. HUSBAND, they thought. Shampoo leaped out of her chair. "You Ranma mother!?!?" "Yes." Losange grated, slowly calming down. "I go by my Japanese name of Nodoka her in Japan though. I should have killed him in the first place, and forgotten the law about an amazon woman defeated by a man." Cologne was speechless. Ranma was her great great grandson, and, as her direct descendent, he was as much of an amazon as Mousse or Shampoo, never mind the fact that neither he nor his mother had been born in the Village. What was more, as close kin, Shampoo could not marry Ranma. Still, she thought as her mind adapted to the surprise, it meant that Shampoo could return to the Village with her honor completely intact. Since Ranma was in fact an Amazon, the Kiss of Death was voided, as was the Kiss of Marriage. Not the outcome she had wanted but at least the Village would still get a strong warrior as a member. Shampoo was in shock. She had realized that she could not marry Ranma almost as fast as Cologne had, breaking her heart. This entire time, Mousse had been listening at the kitchen door. So that's why the woman had looked so familiar, he thought, she looks like Ranma's female form. Mousse had also realized that Shampoo's being blood kin to Ranma voided the Kiss of Marriage. "I have to tell him about this." Mousse muttered. "Now he won't chase after my Shampoo." Then, Mousse overheard the three amazon women's plans, and chuckled. "Maybe I won't tell him everything." He said with a smile as he snuck out the back door. Mousse found Ranma arguing with his fiancee, Akane Tendo. As soon as Ranma had noticed Mousse, he smiled, ready for a fight. "Hey, what do you want, Mousse? Shampoo isn't here, and I haven't even seen her for days." "I know that Ranma," Mousse said. "I just wanted to tell you that both the Kiss of Marriage and the Kiss of Death that Shampoo gave you are over and done with." "Huh?" Ranma said. "What happened? You finally got good enough to beat her in a challenge?" Instead of going ballistic like usual, Mousse simply stood there and grinned. "Let's just say that I finally figured out why you wear Chinese clothing so much." With that, Mousse just turned and left. Leaving a bewildered Ranma and Akane behind. Days later, the confusion had spread to the entire Tendo household. No one could figure out why Ranma was freed from the amazon laws, though a talk with Cologne had confirmed that, and Shampoo hadn't glomped onto Ranma like usual. Though, privately, everyone was more or less happy. Akane was glad that there was one less woman after 'her' man, though she would have died rather than admit it. Soun, Kasumi and Nabiki Tendo were glad because it meant fewer holes in the walls and ceilings, even though the loss of one fiance did cut into Nabiki's sales of pictures of Ranma's male form. However, speculation could wait, as they prepared for one of the people most feared in the Tendo home, Nodoka Saotome, Ranma's mother. Because of a stupid promise made by Genma, if Nodoka ever found out about her son's ability to change genders, she might force Genma and Ranma to commit seppuku. (AUTHORS NOTE: SEPPUKU = RITUAL SUICIDE) There was a knock at the door, and Kasumi went to answer it. Ranma was in his female form, known as Ranko Tendo to his mother, and Genma in his cursed form of a Panda. Kasumi walked into the room with Nodoka behind her. "Hello everyone." Nodoka said. She grinned slightly as she looked at 'Ranko' and 'Mr. Panda.' "Hello, Auntie Saotome." Ranko said, trying to hide the pain she felt it galled Ranma that he couldn't talk to his mother as himself, as her son. Every time his mother visited, he thought up new things to do to his father, none pleasant. "Oh, Kasumi," Nodoka said, as she found a place to sit by a nervous Genma, "I found out that some of my relatives are staying here in Nerima on some personal business. I hope you don't mind, but I invited them here for dinner. They should be here shortly, but don't worry, they are bringing some food with them. There should be enough ramen for everyone." "Don't worry, Auntie Nodoka," Kasumi said. "After all, you are family." Just then, there was a knock at the door. As Kasumi got up to answer it, Nodoka turned to Ranko, who was dressed in one of Ranma's usual outfits of a Chinese silk shirt and pants. "You know," Nodoka said, "That shirt reminds me of outfits that my mother wore when I was a girl. Did I ever mention my mother was from China, Ranma?" Everyone froze in place as they heard the name come out of Nodoka's lips. Kasumi came in, leading two very familiar people into the room. Nodoka quickly grabbed Genma by the scruff of the neck with one hand, and having pulled it out, held her katana against his throat with the other. "Why don't you meet your in-laws, Genma?" She said, nodding to a bowing Cologne and Shampoo. "I believe you know my great-grandmother, Cologne, and my cousin, Shampoo." Except for Genma and Kasumi, the entire Tendo household facefaulted. Nodoka turned back to her shape-shifting spouse. "I also wish to speak to you concerning, Jusenkyo, multiple fiancees, and the Neko-ken." Genma could only hold up a sign that read, "Heh-heh." THE END AUTHORS NOTES: I know there is more to say. And If I get enough C&C, I'll have it posted. Just one thing, NO FLAMES!!!! Any flames will be ignored, as will any future e-mail from those sites. I want to thank Qminster for posting these, and the editing and C&C he's given me. C&C can be sent to me, the DragonBard, be by way of his Twist in the Tale homepage.