Girl Days

    A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction

    By Robert Haynie

    (Insert that disclaimer that we all know so very well here)

    Part Three:  Girls Day Out (of your mind)


    A week had passed since the training had begun.  A week that
Ranma had bit by bit slowly gotten used to.  She'd found that there
was a reason for the way that female undergarments were made-- they
simply fit the female body better than a t-shirt and boxers.  A bra
resulted (after one got used to it) in increased comfort and less
back-strain, panties were actually comfortable around... there.

    Today neither was actually a factor.  Because it was very hot,
very sunny, and no-one had any work to do-- not even, for once,
Kasumi.  This unusual state of affairs had resulted in Nabiki
deciding to sunbathe.

    One thing led to another, and there were four sunbathers in the
yard of the Tendo Dojo.  Nabiki in one of her almost- not- there
bikinis, Akane in a somewhat more demure bikini, Kasumi in a modest
one-piece, and Ranma--

    In a bikini that was apparently in a war with Nabiki's as to
whose was the more , well, less.  Although the middle Tendo sister
would never admit it, at the moment she was slightly jealous.  Not
that Ranma was looking as good as she was-- that didn't matter-- but
that Ranma was at the moment as casual as she was about it.  

    Actually, Ranma was having less problems with a bikini than she
did with lingerie.  Her curse pretty much meant she had to wear female
swimwear, and she'd worn two-pieces before.  This was just less of a
two-piece, and the week's passing had made her a lot more comfortable
with her female form.  She wasn't HAPPY with it, of course-- but she
was dealing with it.  Nodoka's gentle encouragement probably had a
lot to do with that.

	In fact-- although she would never really admit it openly-- Ranma
rather liked the look of this particular piece.  The basic design was
of the classic "string" type, but instead of strings the rather...
limited pieces of teal fabric were held in place by thin golden
chains.  At the moment Ranma looked a lot like something out of a
Frazetta painting-- except a fair bit shorter.

	Ranma idly mused over the peculiar fact that her mother had
picked this suit for her.  Nodoka's usual ideas about proper female
attire seemed to go straight through the shogi when it came to
swimwear.  One certainly couldn't SWIM in this-- so Ranma had decided
it was for sunning.  The onepieces would be for a pool or beach.

    Akane glanced over at the buxom redhead, and felt a familiar pang
of denied jealousy-- and that jealousy was DEFINITELY about
appearances.  It had always seemed cosmically unfair that that
arrogant, overbearing, insulting BOY should not only be a better
martial artist than she was, but a better looking GIRL. If somewhere
deep in her mind lurked the idea that Ranma's face and figure wasn't
Ranma's fault, it wasn't coming out of hiding.  No doubt because of
the regular patrols of "Kill any nice thought about Ranma" troops
that seemed to wander her mind at times.

    Ranma just sunned.  For once, no raging Akane, no glomping
Shampoo, no blind Mousse, no Kuno-- either of them-- and no screwy
Ryo--

    "RANMA-- PREPARE TO DIEERRRRGH!"

    (Hmm...) thought Ranma.   (That's not how it goes, usually, is
it?)

    Ranma leaned up on one elbow, her hair untied at the moment and
flowing free, unconsciously looking very much like an incredibly sexy
girl in a very skimpy bikini.  (Of course, at the moment, she WAS an
incredibly sexy girl in a very skimpy bikini, but she didn't think of
herself that way.  Usually.)  "Oh, Hi, P-chan.  What's wrong?  You
don't look so hot."

    "Who... Who you call... urgh."

    Now, to understand what's happening here, we must look deep into
the mind of Ryoga Hibiki.  Ryoga, you see, has a problem with
terminal shyness.  Around a pretty girl he get's VERY flustered.
Around a pretty and scantily clad girl the word flustered is no
longer adequate and this writer doesn't think there is one in the
English language to describe the state of mind Ryoga would be in.

    Faced with four pretty girls (of which three were definitely
scantily clad and one wasn't wearing that much, really) Ryoga Hibiki
did the only thing he could possibly do--

    Develop a major nosebleed and pass out.

    Simple hormonal overload for a man who had no idea what to do
with his hormones.  

    Akane stared at the lost boy doing a dead boy impression.
"Ranma, stop... um... no, you weren't picking on him, were you?"
True, Ranma had called Ryoga P-chan-- something that he did all the
time, and that Akane had yet to figure out-- but that small insult
shouldn't cause THIS kind of reaction.  This was confusing to her.
There wasn't anything she could blame Ranma for this time-- not
really-- although she knew she SHOULD have been able to find
something...

	Akane wasn't used to not knowing who or what to be angry at.  So
she did something she'd very seldom had ever done--

	She remained calm and watched.

    "Didn't lay a finger on him.  C'mon, let's get the jerk
inside..."

    ####

    From a sea of darkness, Ryoga's mind rose slowly to a familiar
sight... the ceiling of the Tendo Dojo.  And above him was the face
of an angel-- Akane Tendo, resplendent in a yellow sundress... and
there was her sister, the clever Nabiki, in a robe, and her other
sister, the kindly Kasumi, in another robe, and the other sister,
Ra--

    Wait.  Ranma wasn't a sister.  Ranma wore a pigtail, not a
ponytail.  Ranma didn't wear a slightly oversized t-shirt with a
Hokuto-no-Ken iron-on over her bikini.  Her very interesting bi--

	Wait a moment.

    Ranma wasn't a HER!  Not when he could help it!  What the hell
was going on?!?  It had to be some devilish plot of Ranma's to take
advantage of Akane, or to harass Ryoga, or probably BOTH!  

    "Ranma-- I don't know what you think you're doing, but you aren't
going to get away with this..."

	"Get away with what?"

	"Whatever... whatever it is that you're trying to get away with!"

	"Man, you're hopeless.  I ain't tryin' to get away with anything.
I'm just facing my femininity with masculine determination."

	"You're WHAT?  No, don't EVEN try to explain!  I KNOW your
tricks!  WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BIKINI?!?"

	"Because I think it's better for sunbathing.  Nabiki and Akane
agree with me there.  Kasumi, well, each to their own right?"

	"That's NOT funny!  Look, I can see Akane or Nabiki dressed like
that--"

	"You did," interjected Nabiki, grinning.  "That's why you passed
out."

	Akane, of course, missed that totally.

	"I mean, I can't see HIM in a bi... Don't say it, I know I did,
but that's not what I MEAN!  I want an explanation!"

	And Ranma, sighing, explained the concept of Girl Days.

	####
	
	Ryoga stared at Ranma in mixed amusement and sympathy.  As much
as he detested his rival (or at least told himself he detested him--
or her) he knew that this had to be hard on the girl-boy.  Although
Ranma seemed to be taking it with unusual calm.  Well, that was
probably just her innate stubbornness, refusing to be fazed.

	Assuming that the preposterous tale was true-- which Ryoga didn't
believe for a second.  No, this was just another in the long string
of Ranma-esque lies.
 
	At that point, Nodoka came downstairs.  "Hello, Ryoga-san.
Ranma-chan (wince), Akane-chan, would you two do me a favor?"

	"Sure, Mom.  What you need to get done?"

	"I need you to pick up some special rice for a special soup I'm
teaching Kasumi.  I thought we had some, but..."

	"Sure, I'll... um... that means going... out."

	Ranma had avoided leaving the Dojo since the shopping trip.  She
might have to dress like a girl and stay one, but she didn't exactly
want anyone to SEE her.  (Ryoga, Shampoo, the Kunos, and the like
didn't in her opinion count-- it was NORMAL people she was
embarrassed about being seen by.)  

	"Ranma, part of being comfortable with your girl-side is being in
public with it.  It's time you started adjusting to that.  Now, go
upstairs and put on something nice."

	(She HAD to say something nice, didn't she.  That means no blouse
and slacks.  Darn.)

	As the red-headed girl trudged up to her room, Akane glared at
the Saotome matriarch.  "Why do I have to go with that baka?"

	"Akane, you should speak more respectfully of your fiance.  And
such language is completely inappropriate for a young lady-- or
indeed anyone."  Nodoka's sudden glare was nearly as sharp as her
omnipresent katana-- and nearly as cutting.

	"Gomen, Auntie..." Akane murmured.  

	"At any rate, you are her fiancee, and she may need a few tips
on acting properly in public.  She's learning better behavior, but I
don't want her alone at this period in training."

	Ryoga suddenly realized that everything Ranma had said was the
truth.  His mother WAS behind this.  But that would mean it wasn't
Ranma's fault.  And EVERYTHING was Ranma's fault.  So...

	So Ranma had somehow manipulated her mother into this, in some
elaborate plan to embarrass Ryoga and take advantage of Akane!  Now,
if he could just figure out how this perversion was intended to do
so...

	[Author's Note: The astute reader will notice that Ryoga Hibiki
has what can best be described as a somewhat unusual logic system.
Rather than going from facts to conclusion, one starts at the
conclusion and jams the facts around it.  And in the minds of the
likes of Ryoga Hibiki and Tatewaki Kuno, we all KNOW what the
conclusion is.]

	"If you say so," grumped Akane.  One thing she had learned
quickly-- what Nodoka Saotome wanted, Nodoka Saotome eventually got.  

	Ranma hadn't yet learned the feminine concept of taking a long
time to dress.  So she came down the stairs fairly quickly-- and
nearly sent Ryoga into shock.

	Ryoga hadn't quite gotten around the Girl Days concept as much as
he thought he had.  He'd expected, at most, Ranma in her usual
Chinese clothes with a bra underneath.

	Instead, there was Ranma in a white blouse, gray miniskirt,
stockings, a pair of black flats, and... and with her hair in a pony
tail with a black bow.  And earrings.  And even, he realized with
sheer confusion, a hint of blush and some pale pink lip-gloss.

	Ranma presented herself for inspection.  Nodoka looked her over,
and nodded.  "Matching nicely, dear.  I'm pleased.  But aren't you
forgetting something?"

	"What?  I got the makeup right, didn't I?"

    "Yes, dear.  But you forgot your purse.  After all, you might
want to stop for a cold drink on the way back, it's such a hot day."

	"Aw, crap.  KNEW I'd forget something.  The white handbag for
this combo, right?"

	"Language, Ranma."

	"Gomen, mother."

	"And the white handbag should do nicely, Ranma-chan. (wince)
Hurry up now..."

	As Ranma went to retrieve the forgotten accessory, Ryoga
determined to follow her and find out just what the REAL plan was...

	####

	"You know the real reason Mom sent you with me, don'tcha?"  Ranma
said, her ponytail waving a bit in the slight breeze.

	"To keep an eye on you, baka. So you don't embarrass yourself."

	"Maybe," Ranma said morosely.  "But she's also training you, the
way I got it figured."

	"Training -- how do you figure that?"  Akane stared at the
redhead in sheer confusion.  Had Ranma somehow noticed something she
hadn't?

	"Yeah.  You know she's always trying to get us together.  Maybe
she's more subtle than our fathers, but she's got the same agenda.
Now, if I can't find a cure, and we do get married-- not that I'm say
we will, o' course, just a what if-- she figures you're gonna have to
get used to a husband who's a girl a lot of the time."

	Akane paled.  What Ranma had said made perfect sense.  "That's...
That's DISGUSTING!"

	"Huh?"  replied Ranma, suddenly knowing-- just KNOWING-- that
Akane had once again leap to a conclusion that was NOT anywhere near
what HE'D meant at all.

	"How can your mother want to train us to be LESBIANS?!?"

	"NO!  That's NOT what I meant!  I mean she just wants us to be
able to deal with my curse, is all, she ain't thinking of nothin'
like THAT!"

	Akane slowly relaxed.  "No, you mother wouldn't think like that.
You're right."

	Ranma also relaxed, until Akane added, "That's what a pervert
like YOU is for."

	"Akane no baka."

	Akane smirked.


	####

	Ryoga followed, as stealthily as he could.  Which, actually, was
pretty stealthily.  

	His stealth quotient went up rather severely as a splash of water
from a passing car reduced his detection factor-- and his size--
severely.  Ryoga followed with a despairing "Bwee."

	P-chan carefully kept the two girls in sight, knowing that if he
lost track of them his next stop could be practically anywhere in
Japan-- or farther, even.  

	To his great annoyance,  the two girls seemed to be on at least
cordial terms-- and then he heard Akane blurt out one word.

	"Lesbians?"

	And it all clicked in P-chan's rather peculiar mind.  THAT was
Ranma's vile plan-- to drag Akane into some sort of twisted lesbian
relationship--

	No, that couldn't be right.  Even RANMA wouldn't degrade himself
to THAT level.  It had to be something else.  Something equally
sinister, something... 

	In aggravation at not being able to figure out Ranma's plan, he
let out a frustrated "BWEEEE!"-- which Akane heard immediately.

	"P-chan!"  Before the piglet had a chance to think, he was
gathered into Akane's arms, and firmly-- VERY firmly-- hugged.  As he
began to pass out from a combination of lack of oxygen and proximity
to Akane's... um... frontal area, she added, "Poor thing-- you're all
wet again?  You're always getting wet.  Poor thing..."

	"Oh, JOY," murmured Ranma.  "Wonder-swine strikes again."

	"What was that, Ranma?" asked Akane, eyes darkening.

	"Nothin'.  Let's get that rice for Mom and get home."

	"Oh, Ranma.  Sure you don't want to stop somewhere on the way
back for a drink?  It's awful hot today..."

	"Maybe... but I doubt it."

	As the two girls walked (and one pig was carried) to the
specialty rice store, the day had been so far quiet, pleasant
(within reason) and uneventful.

	Hands up, everyone, who KNOWS this ain't gonna last.

	####

	Akane was carrying P-chan.  Ranma was carrying a 1-kilo bag of an
obscure rice that Nodoka used in making a special soup.  There were
recipes that Kasumi didn't know (although at times that seemed
impossible) and when Nodoka had first served the soup, Kasumi had
almost begged her to teach her that recipe.  

	Ranma was in full agreement there.  "You know, Akane, TWO people
able to make Mom's special shrimp and rice soup is gonna be heaven."

	"Hmm... maybe I should learn it too," replied Akane.

	Ranma for once kept her mouth shut instead of wondering if there
was a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Shrimp.  Since she was
walking slightly behind Akane, she was also spared the pounding that
her expression would have initiated.

	"Ranma, it's so hot... are you sure you don't want to stop and
have a soda or something?"

	"Yeah, I'm--"  Ranma broke off, at a sign in a small ice-cream
shop.  Reading SALE.  Two for One.  

	"I'm actually kinda thirsty too... and a little hungry." She
pointed, and Akane grinned in delight.

	"Trust you to find the best deals in snacking, Ranma!  Let's go!"

	P-chan wondered if Ranma had some devilish scheme concerning
Ice-cream.

	####

	The shop was new, and the sale was an effort to get new
customers.  The counterman smiled as two cute girls entered, one
carrying a stuffed animal.  Well, he thought it would be a stuffed
animal.  When the brunette put the piglet on the table, he realized
it was alive.  Probably a pet.

	"May I help you ladies?" he asked.  Hmm... the brunette was cute,
but the redhead was a knockout.  Maybe he could find a way to ask her
out in a little while.

	Scrutinizing the menu, and checking her purse, Ranma ordered.
The counterman's eyes widened.  "Um... you want all that?  You know
it's 2-for-1, right?  So you only need to order half as much."

	"Hai.  I understand.  That's why I'm ordering what I'm ordering."

	"You really want four Banana splits and two strawberry sundaes and
two jumbo Calpis?  Just for yourself?"

	Ranma went into her Cute-As-A-Thousand-Buttons act.  "Oh, it's so
HOT, and I'm so very hungry... I'm sure I can finish it all!"

	The counterman smiled.  "Miss, if you CAN, it's on the house, for
you and your friend both.  I'll have to see it to believe it.  Can I
get your pet anything?"

	Ranma looked at P-chan.  "You want anything?"

	P-chan fumed.  Yes, he DID, but how does a pig order?

	Akane said, to both their surprise, "Well, I'd like a chocolate
parfait, and give the second one to P-chan.  That's my piglet.  I
know he likes chocolate because I saw him eating some of mine."

	The counterman smiled.  When the redhead failed to eat her whole
order, he'd offer to pay himself, and get her to have a cup of tea
and a few snacks later.  Soon enough, he'd be able to build it into a
relationship of sorts, and then...

	These dreams were dashed as the redhead began to tear into the
various confections with a speed and skill that he'd always thought
was reserved for the local pack of loony martial artists.  And he'd
never heard of martial arts ice-cream eating before.  (He'd also
never been to the Tendo Dojo at breakfast.)

	"Ranma," whispered Akane, "Your mother wanted you to eat more
ladylike, remember?"

	Ranma reluctantly slowed down-- a bit.  From a vacuum she shifted
into a feminine but still accelerated pace.  As each confection
arrived, she would eat them very neatly but very fast, and the
counterman suddenly decided that if he took this girl out for tea and
snacks he'd rapidly be a pauper.  Oh, well...

	As the last bit of sundae vanished, and Ranma sipped her Calpis,
the counterman approached, grimacing.  "You win, miss.  Have to say,
I'm impressed.  I thought only a martial artist could do something
like that."

	Ranma blinked.  "Well... SHE'S a martial artist (pointing at
Akane) and I've picked up a few tips from her."

	Akane began to freak.  Ranma was not only being nice, she was
being modest.  This was definitely weird.  Then she caught the
twinkle in Ranma's eyes, and realized that it was a new form of
teasing.

	"Oh, no," retorted Akane.  "SHE'S the real martial artist, I'm
just an amateur."

	The counterman stared as the first Anything-Goes Martial Arts
Humility contest began.

	So did P-chan, who was still nose-deep in his parfait.  What was
Ranma DOING?!?  Had his time in this female body warped his mind?  

	"Oh, Akane-chan, but you're so strong!  Almost as strong as a
boy!"

	"But RanKO-Chan (Ranma DOUBLE winced) you're so graceful and
smooth-- like a fine ballerina!"

	"OOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH!!!!!"

	Ranma and Akane blinked.  That didn't sound like either of them--
oh, NO.

	"THERE you are, you fiendish harridan!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH
MY RANMA-SAMA?!?!?"

	To Kodachi's (You KNEW it was her, didn't you?) surprise, Ranma
stood, bowed, and said, "I'm sorry, Mister Counterman, but I have to
go outside, because this girl wants to start a fight, and you've been
SO nice to me, so I don't want to get your store broken."

	Akane took Ranma's lead (for once).  "Hai.  We hope to come
again.  Thank you for your excellent service."

	As the two girls left, pig and rice in hand, Ranma whispered,
"Did I do that right?"

	"Yeah, I suppose.  Nodoka-san's been teaching you pretty well, it
seems."

	"Wait-- where are you going?  I haven't thrashed you yet!"
protested Kodachi.  This was, as it were, not in the script.  She'd
intended to force the location of her beloved Ranma-sama from the
red-haired witch, and said red-haired witch wasn't playing fair.  

	"If you require a fight, Kodachi-san, we should do it outside."

	Kodachi Kuno was... confused.  So confused that she stood frozen
for an entire minute before screaming and dashing out the door after
the now rapidly running girls (and pig).

	####

	"We lost her yet?"

	"No."

	"Damn.  Guess I'll have to fight her.  I hate fighting girls."

	"Right now, you ARE a girl."

	"Hmm... maybe you're right... but I don't wanna hit her..."

	"Can you think of a girl you'd more want to hit?"

	"I have an idea, actually."

	"It's a day of Miracles."

	"Ha ha ha.  It is to laugh."

	As Kodachi approached, Ranma moved into a combat stance.  The
miniskirt, as designed, unsnapped at the bottom and the velcro at the
side-hems separated, both giving freedom of movement and revealing a
bit more leg.  (Why it doesn't unsnap while running, only while
fighting, is a mystery of Anime.  Don't worry too much about it,
you'll get a headache.)

	Now, this writer COULD go into great detail about the fight.  He
could, but he's not going to.  Because for once there wasn't a
fight-- not EXACTLY-- what there WAS was a chain of events that was
at best described as... well, actually, pretty much normal for Nerima.

	Kodachi, deciding to start with a distracting maneuver, shot out
a ribbon and lassoed P-chan.

	Akane screamed in rage.

	P-chan bweeeeed in mixed rage and terror.

	Ranma suddenly found herself at a loss.  She couldn't endanger
P-chan-- well, she COULD, but that would get Akane mad at her and
they'd been getting along so well this afternoon.  She began to run
through options while shifting to a defensive stance.

	Kodachi shot the ribbon-bound P-chan at Ranma.

	Ranma dodged, and P-chan zipped back to Kodachi like a porcine
yo-yo.

	Akane charged, and got a facefull of black rose petals-- which
clung.  The now blind Akane started scrabbling at them.

	Shampoo came by on her bicycle from hell, and saw Ranma.  She
wasn't certain WHY Ranma had taken to dressing like a girl and
staying in girltype, but she had come to the conclusion that for some
nefarious purpose Akane had used some strange mind controlling
substance (It's what SHE would have done, after all), so she
rocketed towards Ranma, crying "Airen!  Shampoo save you from pervert
girl's girl-spell!", and preparing to execute a classic Amazon Glomp
(tm).

	Ranma began to sweatdrop.  THIS she did not need.

	Shampoo tossed her ramen order aside, which slammed into Kodachi,
causing her to fumble her next pig-attack, and wrap her ribbon
loosely around her.

	Akane continued to scrabble at the rose petals blinding her.

	A large bowl of steaming hot ramen and broth landed right on top
of P-chan.  The results were... predictable.

	Kodachi realized that the ribbons had suddenly become much more
snug.  And that something was pressing against her.

	Ryoga realized that he was pressed against a very curvy girl in a
skimpy leotard, he couldn't move, and... he was naked.

	Akane managed to get the rose petals off, and STARED in absolute
shock at the sight of a bare-nekkid Ryoga tied to a completely
flustered Kodachi.

	Ranma continued to be chased by Shampoo, and hadn't noticed the
bizarre tableaux unveiling next to her.

	Shampoo suddenly stopped, and stared.  Ranma, realizing that
Shampoo had stopped, turned-- and stared.

	Akane murmured, "Ryoga, how could you..."

	Shampoo sputtered, "Lost boy doing HENTAI things now?  That NOT
right!"

	Kodachi snarled, "You PEASANT!  How DARE you embrace the Black
Rose in such a state of... of... stateness!"

	Akane growled, "I always thought I could trust YOU, Ryoga, but
this... THIS..."

	Shampoo added, "Lost boy get really lost, but some places Lost
Boy should NOT get lost!"

	Kodachi FUMED as Ryoga tried to squirm free-- which looked to all
concerned as though he was trying to do something entirely different.

	Akane screamed, "RYOGA!  YOU'RE--- YOU'RE A WORSE PERVERT THAN
RANMA!!!"

	Shampoo advanced, bonbori in hand.

	"GET THIS MOLESTER OFF ME!" screamed Kodachi.

	Ryoga began to stammer, "But... but... it's not what it looks
like... it's not my fault, I didn't mean to, I mean, I..."

	And as three girls began to perform their sworn duty to punish
all perverts, a fourth one collapsed next to a tree, laughing her
red-headed butt off.

	####

	"It HAS to be your fault, SOMEHOW."

	Ranma handed Ryoga another bandage.  "Hey, sorry.  But now you
have some idea of the kind of crap that happens to me all the time."

	"You deserve it.  I don't.  Why didn't you explain that it was an
accident?"

	"Well... that would have meant explaining about P-chan.  Now, if
you don't care, and it happens again, I could--"

	"NO!  All right.  Maybe just this once it wasn't your fault.  But
it SHOULD have been."

	"Man, you are SUCH an idiot."  Ranma wrinkled her nose.  "Anyhow,
even if Akane no longer thinks it's your fault-- even though she has
no idea how you got into that kind of predicament-- she's not happy
with you right now.  You may want to go on a training trip for a
while."

	"I hate it when you're right.  But I still don't trust this Girl
Days thing.  I still think you're up to something."

	"I am.  A week in bras and panties so far."

	"Oh, VERY funny."

	The Eternal Lost Boy hefted his pack, and started to leave.  Then
he paused, and added, "Does that sort of misunderstanding really
happen to you every day?"

	"Nah. Only about four-five days a week."

	"I never thought I'd say this-- but man-- Girl, I feel for you."

	And Ryoga Hibiki walked off into the sunset.  Which was a pity as
he'd meant to head north.

	####

	End part three