A Sick Amazon. By Lord Archive My apologies to Rumiko Takahashi and the companies involved in bring me this series. This is my contribution to the Sick Spamfics that have popped up recently. ------------------------------ Cologne hopped towards the Tendo dojo. Today was the end of nearly a year's work. It had to end as soon as possible, given the current situation. Shampoo, curious over her great-grandmother's recent odd behavior, followed her to the home of her love. Cologne stood by the pond of the Tendo home. She stared intently at Ranma who was in the dining room. "Ranma, I need to know now: Will you marry Shampoo?" Shampoo gasped at the question. "No way!" Ranma replied quickly. The purple-haired Amazon glared at her intended from where she hid. "Ranma, Shampoo will be leaving tomorrow for China. The only way she is to remain is if you marry her. Then again, you don't have to marry her just yet if you come with us." The young Amazon was frozen in shock. "Shampoo is going to China?" Ranma glanced at Akane, who was grinning and sitting next to him. "Sorry to hear that. I'll miss her." Akane lost her grin, realizing she would miss her too. Shampoo cried out, "What?! Shampoo no go back to China yet!" Cologne sighed. "Yes. You are going back. I wish... Ranma would have accepted you, but it appears he prefers another." She sighed again. "But now I need to get my husband." "Your husband?" several voices asked. Ranma was scared. He hoped she didn't mean him. Cologne closed her eyes, and called out, "HAPPOSAI!" Everyone save Cologne blinked and thought, "Yes, my darlin' little Cologne?" the diminutive lech grinned at her. "You are coming with me to China, husband," Cologne glared at him. Soun and Genma were doing a dance of joy. Shampoo and Cologne were leaving and taking their perverted master with them. Only Ranma and Akane deciding to get married would make them happier. "Why would I do that?" Happosai asked. "Because I am you wife and I told you to!" Cologne snapped angrily. "I am not an Amazon, so I don't care about your stupid rules." "What about your child?" Cologne asked, shaking in rage. "Tao Wu? Didn't you tell me he died a couple years back?" Shampoo's head started to spin. She refused to think the last word. "I do not mean our first child." Cologne shut her eyes again. "Do you remember our.. tryst two months past?" Cologne questioned. That conjured up some images no one *EVER* wanted to think of. Shampoo was absolutely sick. Her mind did not want to work any more and she passed out. "Yes, but I don't see what relevance that has," Happosai replied. "A very rare event has occurred. After a woman has passed child-bearing age, it is not impossible for a woman to have one or two more periods. And it appears that two months ago was such a time for me." Everyone face-faulted and thought, "I am pregnant with your child, Happy. You will *NOT* ignore your responsibilities this time," Cologne said in a commanding angry voice. Before Happosai recovered from the shock, Soun and Genma had all of his belongings packed up and placed next to him. "Oh, do send us baby pictures." Kasumi smiled at the expecting mother. Cologne sighed. "I will." "T-there is no way I'm..." Happosai started to protest, before Cologne used shiatsu to make him fall asleep. "Can I get some help preparing to move back to China?" Cologne asked. "Certainly!" answered the Saotomes and Tendos. Cologne thought sarcastically. ------------------------------- What's sicker than Cologne and Happosai currently being lovers. That it would bear fruit.