RANKO ½ --------- Volume 2 "Love Relations" Part 14: "You're a natural talent" One sunny Saturday afternoon at the Tendou home. School has ended and Akane and Ranma arrive, sweating from the glaring sun. Akane: Tadaima! Kasumi: Welcome home. Ranma immediately slips out of his top and runs around bare-chested. Akane shakes her head and retires to her room to change into something less hot. Ranma settles in the living room and tiredly watches Genma and Souun cheat each other at shogi. Even Genma is human today, preferring not to wear a fur coat. ~*~ Evening is drawing in when all of the family gathers around the dinner table. Suddenly Souun gasps and chokes. Akane turns to see what upset him and sees Ranko walk in, her breast stark naked. Ranko looks around for a second, then walks over to her discarded shirt and puts it on. She sits down at the table, completely oblivious to Souun's shock and Akane's angry stares. Akane: Ranko! Ranko: Huh? What's up, Akane? Nabiki: You were showing off your complete lack of feminine modesty. Ranko: Lack of feminine modesty? Akane: You were running around topless again! Ranko finally realizes what they are talking about. Ranko: Hey! I put on my shirt, didn't I? Akane: You shouldn't have gone without a shirt in the first place. Ranko: I changed back in the kitchen because that's where the hot water is. My shirt was here. So I forgot to take it with me - So what? Akane: No, you didn't. You didn't forget it, because the thought of covering yourself when you change back didn't even cross your mind! You've been a boy for too long. Genma: I hope so. A metal pan is now molded to Genma's face. All the food that was in it has dropped down onto his plate. With a he pulls the cooking implement from his head, looks down to his plate and begins eating unconcernedly. Kasumi enters the room with a platter of fruit and sets it onto the table. Everybody stops fighting as she smiles at them. Kasumi: Here is some fresh fruit from the market. Ranko grabs a lemon, halves it and begins sucking on it. Then she stops in wonderment. Akane: What's up, Ranko? Ranko: Kasumi, what kind of fruit is this? Akane: [before Kasumi can answer] It's a lemon, baka! Everybody can see that. Ranko: That's what I thought at first, too. But try this... She hands Akane the second half of the Lemon, and Akane is just as astonished as Ranko is, when she bites down on it. Akane: It... It's sweet. Kasumi: The lady I bought them from said they came from Australia. Akane: [disbelieving] Australia? Ranko: What kind of lady? Kasumi: A kawaii young woman in a tight, black jumpsuit. [screws up her face trying to remember] I think she was carrying a katana. Ranko: Sure, Kasumi. Next you'll tell us she was really a female ninja who's just selling lemons for fun. Kasumi just shrugs and smiles. She returns to the kitchen. Ranko: Sweet lemons from Australia! Sometimes I think Kasumi is having us all on. She shakes her head. Akane, on the other hand, has become serious again and pokes Ranko in the ribs. Akane: The distraction didn't work, Ranko. What are you going to do about your tomboyish behavior? Nabiki: [thinks] *Her* tomboyish behavior? Ranko: What're you implying? That I don't act like a girl? Akane: Yes! Ranko: Well, I was brought up as a boy since I was almost a year old - what's *your* excuse? ~*~ Kasumi is sweeping up the remains of dinner; Souun is putting away the halves of the once whole, wooden table; Genma is bandaging Ranko's head. Ranko regularly shoots sheepish glances over her shoulder at Akane, but Akane has angrily turned her back to her. Nabiki, who is watching them, finally sighs, gets up and puts her arm around Akane's shoulders. Nabiki: C'mon, let's get up. No use sitting around here like that. Reluctantly Akane leaves the room with her sister. Ranko looks after them and sighs. Genma pats her shoulder. Genma: Don't listen to her. You're the best son a man could wish for. He smiles hopefully at Ranko, who gives him an annoyed "Who're you trying to fool" look. ~*~ At Akane's door Nabiki gives her sister an encouraging pat. Nabiki: Aw, don't lose your humour. Making Ranko into a "sweet girl" is too big a challenge to contemplate. Akane: A challenge? [ponders this] Hmmm... a challenge. Thanks, Nabiki. You just gave me a great idea! Akane runs back down; Nabiki stares after her. Nabiki: [thinks] Uh oh! What *now*? ~*~ In the living room, Akane stands before Ranko and delivers her challenge. Akane: I challenge you to prove that you can really act like a girl! Ranko: [unsure] What exactly do you suggest? Akane: You'll act like a girl is supposed to, for one day. If you can keep it up, you win. Ranko: [sceptical] And if I lose? Akane: Then you'll apologize for that little "Tomboy" remark. Ranko: Hah! And I gather, *you*'ll be the judge of my performance, right? Akane: Uh... Ranko: I accept! ...Under one condition: You have to try and understand my side, too. Akane: What does that mean? Ranko: While I show you that I can act like you say a girl should, *you* have to try yourself at being a boy! Akane: You mean... Ranko: Like I did for Ryouga. Akane stares at her. ~*~ The early Sunday morning sun peeks into Akane's room. Akane is standing in front of the mirror door of her wardrobe, regarding her unusual reflection. She is wearing the most "male" clothing she owns, A white shirt, straight-cut trousers and male shoes. Her chest is flat - apparently bound with a cloth - and with her short hair she makes a truly beautiful boy. Akane: [thinks] Ha! This will make their eyes fall out. That bet is as good as won. ~*~ Akane enters the living room shortly before breakfast. Souun and Genma-panda are already in the middle of a game; Kasumi can be seen through the kitchen door. Souun: Good morning, daughter. Genma: [signs] Morning, Akane. They don't react to Akane's get-up at all. Akane shoots them a *look* and sits down at the table. Nabiki comes in, still winking the sleep from her eyes. Nabiki: Mornin', sis. Akane: [irritably] Good morning! Kasumi enters and begins to lay out the food on the table. She flashes Akane a bright smile. But then, she always does. Kasumi: Good morning Akane, Nabiki. Nabiki: Thanks. Good morning, big sister. Genma begins to eat, as everybody settles down. Kasumi looks around. Kasumi: Where is Ranma? Is he missing breakfast? Ranko: Tee hee... Everybody turns to Ranko, who is standing in the entrance. The jaws of the fathers drop in unison; Nabiki gives an appreciative whistle; Kasumi smiles. Akane: "Tee hee"?!? Ranko is wearing an incredibly cute dress. She's looking so sweet that you could get diabetes just from being near her. The looks that she gets make her blush and look down self-consciously. Nabiki: See? I told you it'd look good on you. Akane: "*Tee* *hee*"?! Kasumi: My, you look *nice* this morning, Ranko. Akane: Whe- Where did you get that? Ranko twirls around once, to show all of the beautiful dress. Ranko: I bought it from Nabiki. Nabiki: It's the one I offered to *you*, half a year ago, when I grew out of it. Don't you remember? You didn't want it, so I stored it. Seems like Ranko has more use for it. Akane: I didn't take it because *normal* sisters pass on their clothes without requiring payment! Ranko sits down at the table and begins to eat in a dainty, most ladylike manner. Kasumi nods approvingly at Ranko's sudden change of behavior; The fathers look at each other in despair. Akane just broods. Akane: [to herself] *mumblemumble* don't know why everybody notices *her* change *mumblemumble* "Tee hee"! *mumblemumble* Ranko: If you would be so nice, to pass the soy sauce, please. Kasumi: Certainly, Ranko. Here you are. Nabiki: You said something, sis? Akane: [angry that Nabiki heard her] Yes! Why is everybody so astonished about Ranko's masquerade - and she's overdoing it, too - but nobody pays attention to what I look like this morning. Nabiki: You? You look just fine. Like always. Akane looks ready to explode, when Ranko drops the sweet act, lapses back into her normal behavior and elbows Nabiki in the ribs. Ranko: You're looking great, Akane! Your [raises voice] *disguise as a boy* is really ingenious. Nabiki: Uh... Sure! Just like the real thing. Somehow, Akane does not seem calmed down by this. ~*~ Ranko and Akane are walking down the street. Everybody is turning to look after them. Both of them are aware of this and sweat big. Akane whispers to Ranko from the corner of her mouth. Akane: Why are they staring at us. Is my disguise that transparent? Ranko: [whispers back] No idea. Keep smiling and act as if nothing was up. The restaurant is only a few corners from here. A few paces behind them, a girl turns to her friend. Girl: Oooh, who is that *beautiful* boy? [BTW, What's the Japanese term for that? Was it "bishounen" or am I mixing things up?] Girl2: I don't know. I guess he's spoken for, though. [points to Ranko] That girl with the pigtail is walking with him. Girl: Some girls have all the luck. ~*~ Akane and Ranko enter a restaurant. They are still attracting looks from bypassers who spot them through the windows, but hopefully this will stop, as soon as they are sheltered in a booth. They do not notice three of the more persistent girls following them in. The waiter leads the two to an empty booth along the wall of the room. The booths are separated by small wooden walls and are furnished with a table and a bench that goes around the table in an U. He hands them the menu. Waiter: So, what can I bring for the young couple? Akane: We're *not* a couple! Waiter: My apologies, young sir. I was mistaken, then. Ranko: Oh, we're just friends going out together. I'll have this seafood dish, please. She points to an entry on the menu and the waiter writes it down. Akane places her order, too, and he leaves. Ranko: You're great as a boy. You're a natural talent. Akane: Why the hell does everybody want us to marry? ~*~ In the next booth, the three girls that came in after the "couple" sit anxiously. One of them is kneeling on the bench along the wooden wall that separates them from their target. She is trying to listen in on them. The girl sitting opposite of her speaks up. Girl: What're they saying Akiko? What're they saying? Akiko: I can't make out a lot, the way you keep pestering me! They're talking about marrying, I think. Girl: Ayaa! We're too late! The third girl, the oldest of the three, gets a calculating look in her eye. Girl3: Calm down, Mikari. If he's just proposing to her, perhaps we still have a chance. Mikari: What can we do, Yoko? Yoko just grins. ~*~ In the back room of the restaurant, the head waiter is enraged. He is scolding three waitresses. Waiter: What kind of work ethic is this? Not only are you too late, but you're *still* not in your work clothes! Waitress: Please, it's not our fault. Waitress2: Look, somebody stole our uniforms. ~*~ A figure in a waitress uniform stealthily looks left and right, then heads straight towards Akane and Ranko's booth. Waitress: Good day, Sir. My name is Mikari - I am your waitress. How may I call you? Akane is a little thrown off by Mikari's fixed stare and the fact that she leans *quite* far forward to be near Akane. Mikari hasn't so much as glanced at Ranko. Akane: Uh, My name is Aka- Ranko: Kaneda! *His* name is Kaneda. Mikari: [without taking her eyes of Akane] Kaneda-san, what can I do for you? Akane: Well, err, we'd like something to drink before the meal, I think. Mikari: Something to drink. Thank you, Kaneda-san. She backs away, never taking her eyes of Akane. When she is finally out of sight, Akane turns to Ranko. Akane: "*Kaneda*"? Ranko: [shrugs] Better 'n letting you blab out your real name. Akane looks in the direction Mikari disappeared in. Akane: What a strange girl. She was *looking* at me this way. And she never even asked, what we wanted to drink. Ranko: [grinning] She was doing what we sweet little girls call "sending signals." It is known to boys as "I just can't figure out girls." Akane: Don't give me your "sweet little girl" act! She looks in Mikari's direction again, worried. ~*~ Mikari is back with her two co-conspirators, both clad in waitress uniforms, too. She is holding her hands clasped across her chest and has her eyes closed. Mikari: [sighs] Kaneda! Yoko: Did he say anything else? Mikari: Yes! He said he wanted something to drink. [sighs] Akiko: Oooh! My turn, my turn! ~*~ Ranko: Oh, there's another waitress. She's coming here with something to drink. Akane: I guess they put the first waitress in a straightjacket, so she had to switch duty. Akiko comes with two glasses. One, filled with rather brackish water, is shoved unceremoniously towards Ranko, the other one she offers to "Kaneda". Akane eyes it suspiciously. Akane: What is this? Akiko: Oh, it's our special house brand. You'll *love* it. Akane: Uh, yeah, thank you. Akiko doesn't give any indication that she's about to go. She just stares at Akane, apparently waiting for her to drink. Akane stares back. Akane: *Thank you*! Reluctantly, Akiko backs away. Akane takes the glass and stealthily pours it out over a plant that stands at the corner of the wooden separating wall. However, she spills some of it on the floor. ~*~ In the next booth, there is a woman with a poodle. The poodle notices the spilled fluid and laps it up. Immediately it begins to get amorous with the woman's shoes. Woman: Ackk! Fifi! Stop that! ~*~ Akiko: He said "Thank you" to me... Yoko: But he didn't drink it? Akiko: No. Mikari: Aww, damn! Yoko: OK, my turn! [rubs her hands] ~*~ Ranko: There's number three. Akane: God, what *is* it with the waitresses in this place? We should have gone to a different restaurant. Yoko arrives and bows to Akane and, surprisingly, to Ranko. Yoko: Good day. My name is Yoko, I am head waitress on duty today. I hope the service until now was satisfactory? Akane: Well, the other waitresses... Yoko: I must apologize; We are understaffed today, and a lot of changes are bound to occur. I hope it has not spoiled the romantic mood? [thinks] Please say it has! Please! Ranko: [sarcastically] Why, no! Tomorrow Darling and I will get married and fly back to my home planet, where we'll live together forever. The second half of her sentence goes unheard, though, because suddenly Mikari and Akiko appear out of thin air, besides Yoko. Mikari: Aaieeee! You can't! Akiko: Don't marry that tomboy, Kaneda-sama! Ranko: [jumps up] Who's a tomboy?! Mikari throws herself on her knees before the baffled Akane. Yoko makes a grab for her, but Akane evades. Just in that moment, the waiter arrives with the food. Mikari: We love you! Don't leave us! Waiter: Here is your order, ... Yoko: Just grab him; Talk later! Akiko uses the chaos to grab Ranko's untouched glass and throws it at her perceived rival. The water arcs through the air and hits Ranko straight in the face. Before anyone can react, Ranma has ripped off the table and thrown it, burying the three girls and the waiter. He grabs Akane and takes off at blurring speed. ~*~ A woman comes running from the restroom. Woman: Pervert! Pervert! Inside the restroom, Ranma stands before Akane, clad only in panties, And holds the dress towards her. Akane: [trying not to stare] What are you doing?! Ranma: Quick! Take the dress and give me your shirt and trousers, before someone comes. The idiots don't have hot water here. [gestures at the frugal restroom sinks] I can't walk home, dressed like this. Akane: Oh. ~*~ Akane and Ranma come around the corner into the street before the dojo. It's clearly visible that Ranma's plan wasn't perfect. Akane's male clothes are all at least one size too small for him, and the dress, more suited to Ranko's measurements, really doesn't flatter Akane. Before the Dojo they meet Souun and Genma. They seem to be very relieved to see the two. Souun: Ah! Everything is back to normal. Genma: We already feared that I visited Jusenkyou with the wrong girl. Ranma and Akane glow with anger. ~*~ Kasumi bows forward to inspect the bruised, beaten messes on the front porch. Kasumi: Father? Mr. Saotome? What are you doing here? Souun: Crying. -- End of part 14. Part 15: "What a cute piglet" The pouring rain is drenching all of Nerima, Tokyo. The deep-hanging clouds are so black that it is impossible to get any impression of the sky and only the burning streetlamps indicate that it is nighttime. A dark figure with a bamboo umbrella is walking down the street, his feet splish-sploshing on the sidewalk that is one single puddle. It is Ryouga. He is nearing the end of his search; A sign shows him that he has found the place. Ryouga: [thinks] Ah, It is the Tendou Dojo. This is where it ends; Today we will settle it once and for all. ~*~ In the guest room, Ranko is sleeping deep and sound on her futon, next to her father's. The digital clock is showing 02:06 in the morning. Without making a sound the shadowy figure of Ryouga slips in. He walks up to the bed determinedly, then hesitates. He looks down at Ranko and a look of insecurity creeps into his eyes. He steps back and retreats to the other side of the room. There he sits down, resting against the wall, and contemplates. Ryouga: [thinks] Ranko... Despite everything, you *are* a girl. I cannot fight you like this. What am I to do? Because of you, my life was ruined. Ranko snores loudly and stirs on her futon. Ranko: Ummmmh... She sits up slowly and is looking right at Ryouga. Ryouga's heart is beating loudly. She seems to ponder the figure leaning against the wall, then takes a deep breath and speaks up. Ranko: Buzfgleblllnmm... She falls over sideways, still fast asleep. Ryouga lets out his breath that he was holding without even noticing. Ranko is tossing and turning under her covers. She struggles out from under them, and when she turns flat on her back, Ryouga can see clearly that her top has slipped upwards, revealing her breasts. The boy blushes deeply, but mercifully Ranko flops right over on her stomach again and creeps back down under the covers. For the next few minutes he hears only her grunts and the rustling of the bedclothes. When Ranko emerges the next time she is lying face down with her legs pulled up under her chest. Slowly she pushes her legs back, thereby raising her rear up on her knees. The covers slide down from her back. Unfortunately, in traveling down, they take with them Ranko's boxer shorts, and despite the thick layer of clouds Ryouga sees the moon rise. He jerks his head to the side, his eyes screwed shut, but it is already to late. There is a trickle of blood running out of his left nostril. Frantically he tries to open his backpack with closed eyes, to reach a tissue, but he only succeeds in letting his heavy umbrella fall to the floor. In a blur of motion, Ranko jumps high into the air, flips over and lands on her feet in a ready position. There is no question that she is awake this time. She stares at Ryouga who has opened his eyes again, but is still not looking directly at her. Re-arranging her clothes to cover herself, Ranko begins to seethe with rage. Ranko: So. Spying on a sleeping girl in her own bedroom. Ryouga: No. I can explain. It wasn't my intention. I didn't come just to watch you... Ranko: [screams] So you had more in mind than just peeping, you hentai?!! ~*~ Two figures are flying from the guest room, out into the rain. In the door stands the Panda, who has knocked them flying with a big sign, reading "Quiet!" Where should Ranko's trajectory take her, if not right into the garden pool? Ryouga, who has whipped out his umbrella with lightning speed, clears the pool and lands securely on the other side. From there he watches Ranma emerge from the waters. Ranma: [coughs and hacks] Ryouga! What're you doing? I always thought you were fairly honourable. Ryouga: And I always held you to be a dishonourable jerk, who'd jump to conclusions without letting others explain. I came here for *revenge*! Ranma: [crosses his arms] Still? Listen up, lost boy: You've got no reason for revenge! *You* missed our fight, and I've already apologized for all the bread stuff. What more do you want before you finally leave me in peace? Ryouga: [coldly] You do not even grasp the depth of your guilt. Let me tell you one thing: I followed you on your cowardly flight... all the way to China. The expressions of comprehension and then shock dawn on Ranma's face. Ranma: Don't tell me you went to Jusenkyou... And that you fell... Ryouga: Shut up! Now you will pay! He jumps at Ranma with a flying kick. Ranma, still shocked, evades on auto-pilot. ~*~ Akane sits up in her bed and rubs her eyes. Akane: Where does all that noise come from? The door opens and Kasumi looks in. She, too, is in her nightshirt with a light jacket thrown over her shoulders against the cold. Kasumi: Are you awake, Akane? Akane: Yes, Kasumi. You heard it, too? They descend the stairs together. Akane is carrying a shinai [That's a bamboo sword. More of a cane, really]. Kasumi: Do you think someone is breaking in? Akane: If they are, that's not the only thing that'll break. A flash of lightning illuminates the sky, and for a split second the sisters see a jumping figure with a backpack outlined black against white. Kasumi: Oh dear, it *is* a burglar. Look at the backpack. Akane: [hefts the shinai] We'll see about that. Kasumi holds her back by the shoulder. Kasumi: Akane. It's too dangerous that way. Here. She places a heavy, metal dumbbell into Akane's hand. ~*~ Ranma deflects a kick from Ryouga with his arm in mid-air and presses on with a kick of his own. Before he can connect, though, a projectile zooms in and bonks off the back of Ryouga's head with pinpoint precision. First the Dumbbell falls, then Ryouga's umbrella, having escaped his feelingless fingers, then Ryouga himself plummets to the ground. The pouring rain begins to drench him, and he wraps his arms around his face, as if to avert the inevitable. In a mighty jump he clears the garden wall and shoots down the street. Ranma: Ryouga! ~*~ Akane is standing in the door with Kasumi. Akane: Ryouga? Kasumi: [relieved] Oh, good. It was just Ranma's friend. ~*~ Ranma is running down the street Ryouga took, trying to find him. But he only finds The backpack and his clothes. Ryouga is gone. Ranma: [thinks] His pack and clothes... So I probably guessed right. He looks left and right, but there is no trace of the other boy. The rain continues to pour. ~*~ Akane is yawning, as she closes her door again, behind her. Akane: It's almost three in the morning, now. They were lucky, I didn't want to get wet, too, or I'd have told them something! An imperceptible movement or sound, picked up by her subconscious, alerts her. She senses a presence. Akane: [thinks] There's somebody here. She stands up in the middle of the room and demands Akane: Come out! Show yourself. A black lightning bolt shoots at her from the corner of the room. Automatically, without thinking she bats it away, before it reaches her. When she sees it clearly her eyes go wide. Her stare is met by a pair of eyes, set in a face that is as black as the night outside. Akane: [thinks] A piglet? [out loud] Well, who're you, then? Come here, piggy. Akane tries to entice the little black animal into her arms. At first the pig is reluctant and evades Akane's attempts of touching it, but soon it seems to determine that Akane is no threat and lets itself be touched. Akane picks it up and cuddles it a little. Akane: What a cute piglet! Oh, you're completely wet. Were you out in the rain? And where did you get that bandanna - are you someone's pet? Oops, what's this? You've got a pretty big bump on the back of your head. Poor piggy. ~*~ In the living room, the light is still on. Ranko is sitting there, drying herself off with a towel. The kettle that helped her transform back is standing beside her. Ranko: [thinks] Man, I can't believe that Ryouga! No wonder he was so crazy and screwed up. I wonder what kind of thing he turns into when he gets wet. It must be pretty bad, to make him so angry - a dog perhaps or even [shudders] a cat. Akane comes in with the piglet. Akane: Oh, Ranko. You're still up? Ranko: So're you. Akane: Yes, but look: I found a little piggy in my room. I think it came in from the rain. Isn't it *cute*. She presses the piglet to her bosom in an embrace. The animal sighs and blushes slightly. Ranko: Oh, is it blushing? Akane: A pig blushing? You silly! Ranko: It must be a male, then. That's one of the signs, you know? You press someone to your bosom and if he blushes, he's male. Akane giggles. She holds up the pig and inspects its genitalia. Akane: It *is* male, no doubt. Ranko: See, I told ya. [grins] Can I hold him, too? Akane: Sure. But be careful - he's got a big bump on his head. Don't hurt him. With Akane's last words Ranko narrows her eyes. She takes over the pig from Akane and doesn't seem too surprised when it struggles and tries to bite her. Akane: Oh, he doesn't like that. Ranko stares at the pig. You can practically see the thoughts forming in her head. Ranko: [slowly] I can't imagine why. Sa-a-ay Akane... It must be pretty cold, after being out in the rain. I thought of taking a bath before going to bed again - perhaps I should give the little piggy one, too? Akane: Oh, Ranko, would you? That's nice of you. Ranko: Don't mention it. G'night, Akane, happy dreams. Akane: [yawns] Thanks, Ranko. Have a nice bath. She slinks back up the stairs to her room, while Ranko takes off to the bathroom. ~*~ The hot water steams in the tub. Ranko has prepared everything for her bath, but she makes no motion to take it. Instead she brings forward the piglet that she is holding by the bandanna around its neck. At the sight of the hot tub, the animal squeals loudly and redoubles its struggles. To no avail. With a fancy throwing maneuver Ranko s the squealing pig into the water, then leans against the wall, watching. The water seems to boil for a moment, then swells upwards. When the water parts, a naked, human figure kneels in the tub. It is Ryouga. Ranko is still leaning against the wall with crossed arms, watching impassively. Ranko: Hiya, pig boy. -- End of part 15. Part 16: "You won't betray her trust" The wind is howling around the Tendou Dojo, now that the rain has stopped. The sound can be heard loudly in the bathroom. Ryouga is kneeling naked in the bathtub, shooting a look of pure hatred at Ranko, who is still leaning against the wall. She walks up to him and kneels down to his level. Ryouga: Ranma... [lunges at her] You're dead! Ranko hurriedly blocks his punch with the nearby soap bucket. Ranko: Whoah! Hold your horses. So you *did* go to Jusenkyou, the ground of accursed springs. Ryouga: [growls at her] After you ran out on our duel- Ranko: Which I did *not*. Ryouga: [continues] -I followed you all the way through China... ~*~ Flashback to Ryouga's days in China. He is wearing an elastic sweatband instead of his bandanna and the look on his face is one of anger, not one of hatred and fury as it is these days. He is walking along a path through the mountains, muttering to himself. Ryouga: Ranma! I'll get you, yet. Running out on our duel... Ryouga (voiceover): Following your trail, until one day... He clears the ridge of a mountain pass and below him stretch the Jusenkyou plains. As he is making his way down the winding, serpentine path, suddenly something shoots up in the opposite direction. A strange boy is chasing a big panda up the path. The panda takes up a good three quarters of the width of the path, and when he brushes past, Ryouga is pushed teetering towards the edge. He waves his arms, his eyes wide open, but is unable to regain his balance. Just when he is about to plunge down towards the pools far below, the strange boy arrives, grabs him by the front of his shirt and hauls him to safety in passing. Boy: [without looking back] Sorry 'bout this. [shouts] Hold still, pop! I won't hurt you! I'll kill you quick and painless, how's that? ~*~ Interrupt flashback. Ranko and Ryouga stare at each other for a few seconds. Then they speak simultaneously. Both: That was *you*?! Ranko: But... How did you get cursed then? Ryouga is still astonished, but he continues his tale with a lot less snarling and gnashing of teeth. ~*~ Flashback continues. Ryouga is continuing down the path, visibly shaken. At the foot of the mountain he looks across the plain and its pools, but cannot see Ranma and Genma anywhere. He scratches his head and pushes on, meandering left and right, forwards and backwards between the springs. The Chinese guide has seen him and is approaching him, but he has a hard time meeting Ryouga, since it is almost impossible to predict where he is going to turn next. Finally he reaches the boy. Guide: Ah, welcome, honourable visitor, to ancient and dangerous training ground of Jusenkyou: Ground of accursed springs. Ryouga: I am looking for someone. Guide: There is nobody here, but the honourable customer and my own self. He sweeps his arms around, indicating the vast empty plain of Jusenkyou. There are few places where anyone could hide. Ryouga: They must have passed through already. How do I get through this field? Guide: There is a way through the training ground. Is very easy to follow and also harmless. Honourable customer just walk over there and follow broad path to other side. Ah, honourable customer, where you looking? Way is over there. No, there! Honourable customer, be careful where you wal- Ayaaa! Flashback ends. ~*~ Ranko is looking at Ryouga in the bathtub with disbelief. Ranko: And all this time you were blaming *me*?! Ryouga grunts angrily, but doesn't look her in the eye. Ranko: [thinks] He isn't screaming or destroying anything. For him that's as good as an apology. [out loud] Well. That's a little harder to hide than just changing sex. But if you try to keep away from cold water, you stand a chance that nobody notices. Ryouga: What? You mean you won't tell? Ranko slaps him across the head lightly. Ranko: Of course not! It's the warriors' code. Ryouga: [to himself] Then Akane will never know... Ranko: [grinning] You like her, eh? Ryouga: What, I... No. I mean yes, but... Ranko: Akane is a really nice girl, you know? I'm sure she'd love to hear that you like her. Ryouga: [pales] You wouldn't... Ranko: [whacks him again] Idiot! I mean she would be happy to hear *you* say it! Ryouga is shaking all over. All of a sudden he jumps out of the tub and clear over Ranko. He turns on the shower, and cold water sprays all over both of them. Ryouga: Bweeeeeeeeeee.... His squeal fades, as his little piggy legs take him out the door and down the hall. Ranma sits in the puddle on the floor, all wet and male, and stares after Ryouga. Ranma: What the hell did he do *that* for? [thinks] I'm beginning to doubt that he is stable enough to make a good boyfriend for Akane. ~*~ It is late the following morning, when Ranko finally comes walking into the living room, yawning loudly. Akane is sitting there playing with her new pet. Akane: Good morning, Ranko. Look, isn't P-chan cute? Ranko: [thinks] Ryouga... [out loud] P-chan? Akane: Yes, P for "Pig". That's English for buta. Ranko: Uh huh. How nice. You didn't see Ryouga around, did you? Akane: No, but he can't be far. His backpack and stuff are still here. Ranko: [looks at P-chan] I guess he'll know where to find it. [thinks] He hasn't changed back yet? Ranko frowns, wondering. Akane pets and cuddles P-chan. Akane: He must have been someone's pet before. He's got this cute bandanna and he's not shy at all. When I woke up this morning he was lying in my bed under the covers, all snuggled up. Ranko's eyes narrow. She picks up Ryouga's clothes. Ranko: Can I play with him, too? Akane: Oh, sure. I've got something to do anyway. [to P-chan] Be good, you hear me? She hands the animal to Ranko, who wanders off with him in the direction of the practice hall, still carrying Ryouga's clothes. ~*~ A stream of hot water splatters over the little black pig. The figure of Ryouga shoots up. He blushes and covers himself with his hands. His clothes into his face. He puts them on hurriedly. Ranko: So. That's what you were up to, last night. Creeping into her bed to get near her while she sleeps. Ryouga waves his hand in denial, but he is blushing again. Ryouga: Id was berfegtly harbless. I dint do a thig. Ranko: [coldly] Ryouga... why are you pinching your nose shut? Ryouga: Err... Ooomph! An unstoppable punch to his stomach knocks all the wind out of him. He staggers back against the wall. Ranko, burning with anger, is standing before him. Ranko: And I thought I had found a boy who could be Akane's friend. Imagine my surprise when said boy turns out to be too *coward* to go near her as a human. He'd rather take the shortcut and be her pet, so he can get all the cuddling and touching and petting right away. Defend yourself! Ryouga swerves to the right to avoid her head punch, but it still hits his left shoulder. He leaps away from the wall into the room and assumes a ready position, but he is obviously upset by Ranko's accusations, and he has already taken a hit. Intent on taking Ranko out before she can take advantage of this, he jumps at her in a flying kick. Ranko ducks and rolls through, underneath his arc. Without breaking the flow of her motion she brings up both her legs and slams them into his back, sending him careering into the wall. She walks up to him, allowing him to stand up, before she attacks again. This continues for the next ten minutes. Ranko systematically keeps her opponent off-balance, wearing him down despite his enormous strength and stamina. Finally, she slams a bruised and bloodied Ryouga up against the wall, her hand upon his throat in a strangle hold. Ranko: [hisses] I may not be a real boy, but I know this: If a girl trusts you, and you have a single shred of honour in your body, you don't betray that trust. Akane trusts P-chan. Now, taking advantage of this to gain access to her body would be an *ugly* thing to do. You won't betray her trust. Do you understand me? Nod once for 'yes', turn blue and die for 'no'. She increases the pressure to Ryouga's throat to emphasize her point. As white as the wall he is leaning against, The boy nods hastily. Ranko lets go of him at once, and Ryouga gasps for air. Ranko: Akane is my best friend and she has had too many bad experiences with boys, already. I won't let her be hurt. Not by you, nor by anyone else. Keep that in mind. She leaves Ryouga to stare after her. ~*~ That night in Akane's room, Akane is kneeling on the bed. Akane: P-chan. What's up with you? The pig is backing into a corner of the room, terrified. Akane is trying to entice it out of there, but it won't budge. Akane: Why don't you want to sleep on mommy's pillow? You did that, last night. P-chan: [sweating] Bweeeee... -- End of part 16. Part 17: "Akane, Korosu!" The door of the Fuurinkan High cafeteria slams open, and pupils pour in, eager to get seats. Akane and Ranko sit down at a table, and Ranko immediately begins to dig into her lunch. Akane shakes her head at this and slowly unpacks her own food. Everybody's heads turn, as a muted explosion resounds through the building. Boy: That sounded closer! Girl: What is it? The wall of the cafeteria bulges inward, explodes and crumbles to the ground, leaving a big hole. A beautiful girl in Chinese clothes, carrying two big bonbori, stands in the hole. She steps through and looks around. Chinese Girl: Where Ranma? For a second everything is silent, as the pupils look around and at one another. Then a buzz of whispered talking arises. Akane looks at Ranko and is astonished to find her shaking frightened in her seat. A Student speaks up. Boy: Ranma is not here. Nobody has seen him since recess. The Chinese girl frowns. Chinese Girl: Bad! She leaves through the hole she created. All the students stare after her, except for Akane, who stares at Ranko. Ranko slumps into her chair, visibly relieved. She shivers once and moans. Ranko: Shampoo! How did she get to Japan? Akane: [whispers] Ranko! Who was that and what did she want you for? Ranko: [jerks back to the present] Huh?! Err, her name is Shampoo. She... Ah, I don't know why she followed me from China. Akane: [thinks] She's lying. ~*~ On their way home, Ranko is running along the fence hurriedly, with Akane walking parallel on the ground, watching her carefully. Ranko: [thinks] Damn! I thought I had lost her. What a luck that I got splashed during recess, or she would have found me right there. [sweats] Akane: [thinks] She's very worried. Is that girl dangerous? Probably - considering the way she came in. ~*~ The Tendou family and their guests are gathered around the dinner table. Everybody is eating healthily; Only Akane seems to notice that Ranko is eating less than normal. Soon Ranko stands up. Ranko: Sorry. I gotta go train now. It was delicious Kasumi. She runs off to the practice hall, before anyone can ask her questions, and soon the sound of smashing bricks and shrapnel hitting the walls can be heard. Nabiki: Ranko finishing dinner early?? ~*~ Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane are sitting in Akane's room. Akane is sitting at the head end of her bed with her knees pulled up, Nabiki is lying relaxed on the bed and Kasumi is sitting on Akane's chair. Nabiki: And this girl frightened Ranko? Akane: I'm sure. She was shaking and has been jumpy ever since. She's still training in the hall. I would call that worried at least. Kasumi: Can you describe the girl? Akane: Well, she was kinda cute-looking - doll-faced. She had her hair tied into two big knots on the sides of her head and the rest of it flowing down her back. Her clothes were Chinese: baggy trousers, tied at the ankle; Two little clasps at the cuffs of her sleeves; Sequins or pearls sewn to the lower part of her shirt; The chest of the shirt was made out of a black, silky material and there were two swirly white ornaments on it. That's about all details I can remember. Kasumi: That sounds like one of the Joketsuzoku Amazons. Akane and Nabiki stare at her. Kasumi smiles back at them. Nabiki: What do you know about the Amazons of Joku... Kasumi: Joketsuzoku. I've read about them in a book. It was a book about Amazon cultures and female warriors all over the world, throughout history. I found it very interesting. Nabiki and Akane look at each other in disbelief. Finally Akane speaks up. Akane: Err, what did it say about these Amazons? Kasumi: Oh, I don't remember everything, but I think they had this strange law about fighting outsiders. If the outsider wins, they have to hound them to the end of earth and kill them. [smiles] Akane looks at Nabiki again. They sweat. ~*~ The next morning, Ranma and Akane are on their way to school. Suddenly Akane sees the shadow of a bonbori fall on the ground before a street corner. Within the fraction of a second, she jumps up and pushes Ranma from the fence into the canal. Shampoo comes around the corner. Shampoo: Girl see Ranma? Akane: Uh, yes! He went that way. [points away from the school] Shampoo: Good! Just as Shampoo bounces out of sight, Ranma crawls out of the canal. He looks at Akane accusingly. Akane: Sorry, Ranma. I just wanted to test if your were on guard. ~*~ As the day progresses, several scenes like this take place: Akane stuffing Ranma into a cupboard and sending Shampoo to look somewhere else. Akane pouring hot water over Ranma, seconds before Shampoo looks in their direction. Akane attracting Shampoo's attention and talking with her while Ranma walks past behind their backs, unaware. Akane leaning against the door of a broom closet, while Shampoo comes down the corridor. There is the end of a pigtail sticking out between door and frame, but Akane is concealing it with her shadow. ~*~ Nabiki and Akane are sitting in the Tendou living room, after dinner. Nabiki: Why did Ranma look at you that way, all through dinner? Akane: Uh, well... I hid him from Shampoo a few times today. I think I got a little rough sometimes. Nabiki: What's that?! Akane: Oh no! Shampoo: Akane, Korosu! Akane: Uh... Shampoo. Shampoo is standing in a big hole in the wall - and she looks angry. Shampoo: Akane! You hide Ranma! You say "Ranma go there", but Ranma no there. You say "Ranma no here", but other people all say he there. Shampoo ask people where Ranma live. People say "He live with Tendou Akane!" Akane: Look, Shampoo. What do you want Ranma for? Shampoo: You no keep Shampoo talking. You hide Ranma - You obstacle! Obstacle is for breaking. Shampoo lunges at Akane with her bonbori. Akane throws herself back to avoid the weapon, but in that moment a foot intercepts the descending ball. Ranma: No playing ball in the house! The handle breaks and the metal sphere flies up into the air. It falls right onto Shampoo's head, knocking her out. Ranma goes into shock position. Ranma: Oh no! I defeated her again. Nabiki: So you did that once already? Ranma: Err... [turns red] Shampoo moans and begins to stir. She sits up and sees Ranma. immediately she jumps to her feet. Shampoo: Ranma! Finally Shampoo get you. Ranma: [retreating] Uh, Shampoo. Look, don't... Akane: [thinks] She's going to attack! Shampoo jumps at Ranma. Akane and Nabiki gasp in shock, when the Chinese girl embraces him, pulls his head down to hers and kisses him passionately. -- End of part 17. Part 18: "He Shampoo's husband" Nobody moves in the living room of the Tendou home. Shampoo is holding Ranma in an embrace and is kissing him with abandon. Nabiki and Akane look on, their fingers spread in the shock gesture - as are Ranma's. Finally Akane lunges forward and pushes the two apart. Akane: Stop that!! Ranma: [beet red] Sh..Shampoo! Y..you can't... Shampoo: Why violent girl do that? Akane: You can't kiss him! Don't you know that Ranma is really MMFBLTM... Ranma: [hand clapped over Akane's mouth, whispering] Shhhh! Don't tell her! Shampoo: Shampoo can kiss Ranma any time! He Shampoo's husband. Akane: Husband?! Nabiki: [calmly] Say, Shampoo, could you lend me that book you're carrying there. She points at a book that protrudes from a flap in Shampoo's clothing. Shampoo lets her have it. Nabiki holds the book up and begins to read aloud. Nabiki: "The Laws of the Amazons. In the event that an Amazon is defeated by an outsider, if said outsider is a woman, she must give her the kiss of death and kill her - if the outsider is a man, she must make him her husband for the better of the tribe." Akane: You mean she wants to marry him? [thinks] And if she knew that Ranko is female... Shampoo: [nodnodnods] Ranma Shampoo's husband. [tries to kiss Ranma again] Akane: That's ludicrous. Since when do you read Chinese, Nabiki? Nabiki: [grins] I don't. I'm psychic. I can understand the meaning of the writing through my mental powers. Kasumi comes into the room. Kasumi: Nabiki, when you're done with the book about Amazon customs that you borrowed from me, would you put it back on the shelf? Nabiki grins and hands Shampoo's Chinese book back. Nabiki: I already put it back, oneechan. I found what I was looking for. Kasumi: Oh, we have a guest? [bows to Shampoo] Can I offer you something? Akane: I don't think she will be staying. Shampoo: [bows to Kasumi] Shampoo thank friendly girl. She go now. Shampoo visit husband when violent girl Akane not there. She turns around on her heel and walks out, creating another hole. ~*~ On the following day in school, Ranma and Akane are jumpy and nervous. Everywhere they believe to recognize Shampoo, but it always turns out to be a mistake, sometimes quite embarrassingly. When they are finally home, they relax. Ranma: I'll go take a bath. See ya. Akane: OK, Ranma. We'll do the homework after that. She walks out into the garden to relax in the shade of the tree. She sighs as she sits down and leans back against the rough bark. Her gaze wanders up to the green roof above her - it takes her a minute to realize that the roof gazes back. Akane barely manages to jump away, as Shampoo drops out of the tree, her bonbori smashing into the ground where Akane just sat. Akane: Shampoo! Shampoo does not answer, but goes into attack position. Akane does the same. Without prelude, the fight begins. Akane jumps over a jab at her legs and tries a head-kick, but she is forced to break it off, because shampoo brings up the other bonbori in defense. This scene repeats several times. The two fighters eye each other thoughtfully. Akane: [thinks] This isn't going anywhere. The bonbori are slow, so I can evade them, but they are too heavy for me to risk trying to break through her defense. Shampoo: [thinks (in Chinese, BTW)] This isn't going anywhere. She is fast enough to avoid the bonbori, but not strong enough to block them for an attack. For a few seconds, neither of them moves. Suddenly Shampoo acts. She drops the bonbori and hurls herself at Akane with lightning speed. Akane is caught by surprise, and Shampoo rips through her defense like an acetylene torch through butter. A few well-placed punches knock the wind out of Akane and send her sprawling on the ground. Immediately Shampoo recovers one of her bonbori and brings it down on Akane with both hands. Mere centimeters before the crushing metal sphere impacts on Akane's chest, a hand reaches out and stops it dead. It is Ranko. Shampoo: [sweats] You interrupt Shampoo. Die! She kicks at Ranko, but Ranko ducks through under it and sweeps out her other leg. With the weight of the bonbori in her outstretched hand, Shampoo is unable to regain her balance and lands heavily on her back. Ranko helps up Akane, who is just recovering, and props her up against the tree again. Ranko: Are you all right, Akane? Akane: [breathing heavily] I'll be. Shampoo is getting up again and Ranko turns to face her. But instead of attacking, Shampoo leans forward and places a kiss on Ranko's cheek. Ranko looks confused and so does Akane. Shampoo smiles. Akane: [thinks] Does she know... that Ranma is really Ranko? Kasumi: Oh, so this is how you do the Kiss of Death? Kasumi is standing in the door of the house, apparently attracted by the noise of the fight. Akane: The Kiss of Death?! Shampoo's smile gets broader, as she picks up her bonbori. Ranko looks at her, sweating. Then she turns and runs with Shampoo hot on her trail. Akane looks after them while the two screaming figures disappear over the roofs in the distance. Akane: So now Ranko has Shampoo after *both* of her forms. Kasumi: Oh my, I hope she'll be back in time for dinner. -- End of Part 18. Part 19: "My name's Ranma" Two female figures are running through Nerima, Tokyo. Ranko is hurrying down a street at top speed. Ranko: [thinks] Gotta get away, gotta get away! Voice: Ranko! Korosu! Ranko twitches at the sound of that voice. Ranko: [thinks] Gad! Does that girl never *sleep*? She ducks into a side street, hoping that her pur-suitor missed her change of direction. Unfortunately, by looking over her shoulder she misses the fact that there is a big, wooden tank of water ahead. She runs into it at full speed, flipping over the side and falling head-first into the water. Ranma: Gyaa! Now male, Ranma jumps out of the tank, fighting of a giant lobster that holds his pigtail in its claw. Ranma: Get off me, you overgrown sea-insect! He pounds the black crustacean back into the water. Apparently his ducking into the side street has led him to the back of a seafood restaurant. But he has no time to look around. Shampoo swings around the corner at full tilt, one bonbori raised high. Shampoo: Ran... [stops] Oh, Ranma! Nihao! She makes her weapon vanish somewhere and runs at Ranma with outstretched arms. Ranma ducks, to avoid her embrace and the inevitable kissing that would follow. Shampoo looks at him, pouting, apparently hurt. Shampoo: Why Ranma no kiss Shampoo back? Ranma: Look, Shampoo. I really can't... I mean, you can't... [takes a deep breath] I can't marry you. Shampoo: But Ranma defeat Shampoo. She must marry Ranma. Ranma: How do you expect me to marry you, when... err... When you always chase after Ranko? Shampoo: Law says Shampoo must kill. Ranma: I don't care! The law says this, the law says that - I can't like a girl who's always out to kill m... Ranko! Leave her alone! [thinks] Perhaps this will work. Shampoo: Ranma no want Shampoo kill Ranko? Ranma: Yes! Shampoo: [frowns] Shampoo must think. She slowly walks away, leaving a relieved Ranma behind. ~*~ One day later, Ranma is coming home from school with Akane. When they enter the Dojo, Kasumi greets them. Kasumi: Welcome home. Ranma, your friend Shampoo was here with a message for you. She said that there was only one way to resolve the matter. You have to fight a match over it. Akane: What matter? Kasumi: She didn't say. [shrugs and smiles] Ranma: I tried to convince her to leave my girl form alone. Akane: [suspicious] You didn't promise her anything, did you? Ranma: Of course not! [thinks] I just hope, Shampoo understands that, too. ~*~ Akane is just walking through the living room, when Kasumi calls out from the kitchen. Kasumi: Oh, Akane! Could you do me a big favour and quickly get some flour at the shop? We seem to have run out. Akane: Sure, Kasumi. [smiles back] I'll go right away. ~*~ At the market, Akane is walking down an aisle of goods. In her shopping basket are the flour and some other things. She has taken the opportunity to look around, while she's at the shop. She stops before a display of sweets. Akane: [thinks] Oh, yes. I could take some of those, too. Ranko loves them. [smiles] Better take more, then, or there won't be any for me. She overhears two boys talking in the next aisle. Boy: Hey, didja see that total babe? Akane: [frowns, thinks] Men! Boy2: That Chinese one? Sure, hard to overlook, is she? I saw her this morning in the park, y'know? She was jumping in and out of a tree. Strange girl. Boy: She was probably practisin' to hide there and jump out to surprise her lover. Boy2: You sure she has one? Boy: No way she wouldn't, with that figure. Boy2: Aw, yer dashing my dreams, y'know? Akane, who froze when she recognized the object of the boy's dialogue, has heard enough. She runs off. Boy: Just think of those balloons she has. Boy2: Bonbori. Boy: Huh? Boy2: They're called bonbori. Large metal spheres, affixed to wooden handles. Difficult to wield, but pretty dangerous if you can master them. Boy: [suspicously] You been reading books again? ~*~ Akane arrives at the Dojo, out of breath. She storms into the house and shouts for Ranko. Kasumi comes out of the kitchen. Kasumi: Ranma is already out. He went to the park for his match with Shampoo, remember? Did you get the flour? Akane: Oh no! I'm too late. I think that match is a trap - I've got to warn Ranko! She runs off again, but calls back over her shoulder. Akane: The flour's in the basket, Kasumi. Kasumi: Thanks, Akane. [smiles to herself] They're always running to or from somewhere. No wonder they're always hungry. ~*~ With gritted teeth and clenched fists, Akane runs through the Nerima streets at top speed. Before her mental eye flash pictures of Shampoo jumping out of a tree, behind Ranma, ambushing him. The pictures change to ones of an unconscious Ranma being dragged off to China to marry Shampoo. Akane redoubles her speed. When she turns into the park and runs along the path, she soon spies a prone form lying on the grass before a tree. Akane: Ranko! [thinks] Oh god, let her be OK. She plops down on her knees besides Ranma, relieved that there are no outward signs of injury. She reaches out and touches Ranma's shoulder, shaking him slightly. Ranma moans. Ranma: Ummmm... [opens his eyes] Oh. What...? Akane: [embraces him] Oh Ranko! You're okay! Ranma seems happy about Akane's sympathy, but looks a little confused. When she releases Ranma, he asks her Ranma: Akane, what are you talking about? You know my name's Ranma. Who's Ranko? Akane steps back, her eyes wide, her fingers splayed in shock. ~*~ Arguing voices approach the Tendou Dojo. Ranma's voice: Honestly, Akane, I have no idea what you're talking about. I remember everything fine. People with amnesia *know* they've forgotten something. You're pulling my leg. I bet there never was any person called Ranko. Akane: I just found you, lying unconscious in the park, and you question *my* sanity. It's *your* brain that's scrambled, baka! Ranma: Don't call me baka, kawaikunee! Just because you're my fiancée doesn't mean you can treat me like this. Akane falls silent at this. Her fists clench and unclench at her side. Akane: [thinks] He's not himself. He's not well. I won't hit him. He's not himself... ~*~ Souun: He *completely* forgot? Kasumi: Oh my! The Tendous and Genma are sitting in the living room, discussing recent developments. Akane: And he's behaving differently, too. [thinks] Called me his fiancée... Genma: We could hit him over the head again. [swings his fist] Perhaps that will restore his memory. I saw that happen once on the television. Souun: Ha ha ha, I saw that too. Let's do it! Nabiki: I don't think that show was meant to be taken as medical advice. Perhaps... we could splash him with hot water. That would make it pretty impossible to ignore Ranko. Genma seems a little reluctant to let go of his idea, but finally nods agreement. Soon, four shadowy figures creep into Ranma's room. One of them is carrying a kettle. They approach the sleeping boy. Genma: [whispers] Is the water ready? Akane: [whispers] Got it! Nabiki: On my sign. One... two... Suddenly a loud voice rings out. Voice: Stop! Don't do it! -- End of Part 19. Part 20: "It's so hard" Akane Stares at the figure in the doorway. Akane: Kasumi? Kasumi: I don't think we should do this. Such a shock in Ranma's delicate state could do nasty damage to his mental condition. Nabiki: [scratches her head] You may be right, oneechan, but what do you suggest we do instead. Genma: We could try my suggestion. [rotates his fist] Akane: No! We won't! [splashes Genma with a bucket] Genma: Growf. Souun: Waaah! What can we do? Nabiki: [hands him a hankie] We could try not to wake Ranma with all the noise. In that very moment, Ranma turns on the other side, snoring loudly. The last turn made him fall from the futon. He flails around with one arm, gets hold of the covers and pulls them down to the floor over him. He curls up and sighs, beginning to snore again. Nabiki: Oh, well. Anyway, let's leave. ~*~ It is already very late at night, when Dr. Toufuu joins the concerned Tendou's at their home. He, Nabiki, Akane and Souun are gathered around the living room table. Dr. Toufuu: Yes, I believe it was right what you did. If a real boy was suddenly turned female, the results would be grave. I can imagine he would be insecure in his sexuality and therefore put on a big show of machismo, always fighting others, never thinking about problems. Homophobia would drive him to be hostile and aggressive to any male who shows interest in his female side. He would probably entertain relationships with many females at once, anxious to be reassured that he is still attractive. On the other hand, he would be unable to confess any true affection, for fear of rejection. He pauses. Dr. Toufuu: That is, of course, just an educated guess, and it has no bearing on the situation at hand. Ranma's memory loss is the result of a fight, you said. There is a shiatsu technique called Xi Fa Xiang Gao, that enables the manipulation of memory. It employs use of the shiatsu pressure points of the human skull in combination with a herbal potion - a shampoo, if you will. Akane, who twitched at the word "shampoo", perks up. Akane: That's right. He said that he felt oddly refreshed. Dr. Toufuu: That makes the reaction to a sudden change rather unpredictable. I have a theory, though. Kasumi: [coming in from the kitchen] What kind of theory, Dr. Toufuu? Dr. Toufuu: Kasumi! F-fancy meeting you here. He raises his hand in greeting, completely forgetting that he is holding a cup in it. He bangs the cup against his temple, knocking himself out. Everyone sighs. Kasumi smiles, puzzled. Nabiki: He'll be no use, now, for some time. Let's escort him home, father. Tomorrow we'll visit him at *his* place. ~*~ It is the next day. Ranma and Akane are walking down the street together. They are in their best clothes, and their arms are linked. Both are sweating and uncomfortable. Ranma: [whispering] Remind me again: *How* did we get talked into this? Akane: [whispering back] I seem to remember something about our fathers performing Seppuku if we didn't. Ranma: Can't be. We would have let them. I think we were drugged and brainwashed. Akane: [thinks] One of us at least. ~*~ At home, Genma and Souun are dancing around in the living room, happily. Souun: We finally got them to go out together! Genma: Yes! And now that Ranma's fully a boy, there's no way it can fail! Souun: No way. ~*~ Ranma: No way! Think of last time we went here! Akane: There's no other good restaurant around here, and last time was a special case. There are no crazies following us today. Come on and let's get this behind us. They are entering the restaurant they visited on the day they switched roles. Inside, they look around nervously, but no lunatics seem to pop up, so they find themselves a booth and signal the waiter. They order the same things they did last time - they never got to eat them, after all. They sit waiting in silence. Ranma folds his hands and begins to fidget with his thumbs. Ranma: So. Akane: So. Silence. Ranma: Err, you... you ever went out on a date? Akane: No. [pause] You? Ranma: Um, no. So we... we could learn from this for... for other dates, or so. [stares at his fingernails] It's not as if this um, actually *means* something. Heh heh heh... Akane: Ha ha ha... Silence. Akane: [thinks] Why is he looking at me that way? Ranma: [thinks] Why is she looking at me that way? Akane: I wonder where that waiter is? Ranma: Yeah, he sure takes his time. Silence. Suddenly the uneasy atmosphere is broken by a cry. Voice: Nihao Ranma! Both Ranma and Akane's heads jerk around. Shampoo is running towards them. She jumps at Ranma, glomps onto him and snuggles up. Shampoo: Ranma ready to marry Shampoo? Ranma: Sh- Shampoo! Akane: What did you do to Ranma?! Shampoo: Shampoo make husband forget stupid Ranko girl. He marry Shampoo now. She gets up and tries to pull Ranma along on one hand. Ranma resists, but barely. He looks at Akane pleadingly, as if he expects her to do something. Akane: Ranma! How can you let Shampoo act like this with you? Do you want her to chase after you forever? Ranma: N-no. It's just... Shampoo: [impatient] Ranma come now? Akane: No he doesn't! Ranma, why don't you just tell her "no"? If you keep waffling like this you'll end up marrying her for real! Ranma seems shocked at the thought and pulls himself together. Ranma: Shampoo. I can't marry you. Shampoo: [looks heartbroken] Ranma no like Shampoo? Ranma: No! [earnestly] I *do* like you, Shampoo, but I can't marry you. My fiancée is Akane. I will stay with her. Akane's eyes bug out and her hair rises up. Shampoo's eyes narrow. She shoots a look at Akane, but Akane doesn't see anything. She's staring at Ranma. Shampoo looks back at Ranma, but his face is set. She runs off without a word. Ranma looks at Akane and sees the shock on her face. He looks down apologetically. Ranma: I'm sorry that I told her I like her, right before you. I just said that because I didn't want to hurt her. [looks anguished] It's so hard. I don't want to hurt her, but if I don't, she'll always come between us. Akane's mind reels. Akane: [thinks] He really thinks he's a boy. He really thinks he's going to marry another girl. He really thinks he's engaged to me. Oh god. Ranma: I... I have a hard time showing what I really feel, sometimes. But I... you... I really... I l- Waitress: Oh no! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I must have slipped on something and now I spilled all that hot tea over you. I'm so sorry. How can I ever apologize enough? Ranko looks at the waitress, then looks down at herself. Akane watches in fear. Ranko: Ayaaaaah! Akane: [thinks] Oh no! She's going into shock! Ranko: Oh my! I hope this tea stain will come out. [frowns] How did I ever get into such *unfeminine* clothes. I look like a man! Akane stares. ~*~ At home, Nabiki is on the telephone. Dr. Toufuu is on the other end. Dr. Toufuu: I think, that a change of forms in her current mental state could trigger a complete reversal of the memory manipulation. Nabiki: You mean, Ranko would remember everything again? Dr. Toufuu: No, she would forget everything about her male side. -- End of Part 20. Part 21: "I'll make you a whole person again" In the Tendou living room, the fathers Souun and Genma are sitting amidst puddles of tears. Souun is bawling without restraint; Genma just sits and lets the tears stream down his face. Nabiki is looking on disgustedly. Nabiki: Honestly, you're acting as if somebody died. Souun: Waaah, He might as well be dead! Genma: I have no son anymore... Nabiki: Good grief, Ranko's just in the kitchen preparing dinner with Kasumi! In that instant, Ranko comes out into the living room, carrying a plate of food. She is wearing one of the cute aprons that she always refused to don and her body language is dramatically different. All of her usual tomboyishness is gone. Beaming a radiant smile, she sets down the food and watches Genma and Souun expectantly, hands folded behind her back, feet together in a cutesy-girly pose. The food overriding any other thoughts, Genma tries a bite and his eyes go wide. He grabs more. Genma: [muffled] It'f deliffious! Souun gingerly reaches out and tries some. Ranko beams with pride. Ranko: Kasumi said that with a little training I'll be a really great cook. I'm so happy to be able to cook for you all. She walks back into the kitchen. The fathers look after her, then at each other. Genma: Perhaps... I've not so much lost a son... Souun: ...as gained a daughter. Waaaah! With two such wonderful cooks in the house, we'll never have to let Akane cook again. Nabiki: Oh, hello, Akane. You're back from Dr. Toufuu's. What did he say? Akane: He said that we need the Chinese herbal shampoo to restore Ranko's memory. Souun: [from under the television set] Do we have to? Akane stacks the table onto the television set, thereby burying Souun's head even further into the ground. Akane: [to Nabiki] He also said that Ranko's continued state was upsetting the balance of her yin and yang or whatever. If we don't cure her, she might go mad. Suddenly there is a loud from the kitchen and they hear a scream. Akane and Nabiki race to the door to look. In the kitchen there is a wet and male Ranma. An empty pot is lying in a puddle on the floor. Ranma is standing frozen and wide-eyed, backed against the wall. As the girls look on, he unfreezes. Ranma: Damn pot. Now I'm all wet. As if wearing this stupid *girl's* apron wasn't enough. Honestly, Kasumi, if Akane wasn't sick, I wouldn't set a foot in this kitchen. Akane: A-hem! Ranma: [turns to her] Oh, Akane. How was your visit to Dr. Toufuu? Did he help you? You look better already. Akane: [bewildered] Uh... uh, Yeah, sure! I'm fine. She backs out of the door, dragging Nabiki with her. Outside, the girls look at each other. Nabiki: Is it only me, or does he... Akane: He is turning everything around, when he changes. *That's* what Toufuu-sensei meant, when he talked about her memory. Flashback to Akane at Dr. Toufuu's clinic. She is sitting in the examination room with him, and he explains what he found out about Ranko's condition. Dr. Toufuu: You see, like every other person, Ranko has some preconceptions about what's male and what's female behavior. I'm sure that you have noticed slight changes in her behavior when she is male, normally. Akane: [slowly] Well... now that you say it, I think she speaks a lot rougher when she's Ranma - I mean even apart from using the male forms. And she uses some pretty boyish mannerisms. Dr. Toufuu: There you go. Subconsciously she has classified some behavior patters as "male" and uses them preferably when in male form. But now she has been ordered to forget all about Ranko - so all aspects of herself that she thinks of as female are forcibly pushed into her subconscious, and when she changes, *only* these aspects are present and all the rest is suppressed. The doctor shakes his head sadly. Dr. Toufuu: Every time she changes, she shuts out one half of her personality completely. That's not healthy - the human mind is meant to contain both male and female aspects. If this continues, she might go mad. Akane: Oh no! Her curse was bad enough, before Shampoo screwed with her mind. Dr. Toufuu: And that's only one aspect. I expect that she will change and find herself in situations that her other side isn't comfortable with. She would then come up with an explanation and "remember" how she got there, but if this happens to often, her memory would finally become a total patchwork from repeated writing and rewriting. Akane frowns, not quite understanding. The Flashback ends. Nabiki: So he really believes that you were sick and he had to help Kasumi in the kitchen because *you* couldn't? That's pretty far-fetched. Akane: [angrily] What's that supposed to mean?! Just in that moment, Kasumi and Ranko - female again - exit the kitchen, laden with trays of truly delicious food. Ranko frowns at Akane. Ranko: Akane! You are quarreling again. Such *unfeminine* behavior is really not very likable. You ought to try to act more like a girl should. Akane looks completely downcast by Ranko's admonition. Silently she sits down for dinner. Akane: [thinks] This *can't* go on. Ranko, I swear - I'll make you a whole person again! I'd rather quarrel with the old you. ~*~ Akane finds Shampoo walking down a street. She calls out to her and Shampoo turns. Shampoo: [impatient] What Akane want of Shampoo? Akane: You've *got* to make Ranma remember Ranko again! He's... He's not himself anymore. Shampoo: True. Shampoo make him forget Ranko girl, so he can marry Shampoo. But now he want Akane girl. That is problem. [she leans forward and looks Akane straight in the eye] But solution is not giving back memory. Akane: [takes a step back] Look, Shampoo, let's make a deal. You give me that shampoo that we need to give her- *him* back his memory, and I'll do anything for you. Except killing someone or something like that. Shampoo: [snorts] Shampoo no need deal. She now finish business with Ranko girl - then she think about *other* obstacles. She glares at Akane and turns to leave. Akane looks after her, sweating. Akane: [thinks] If she weren't so simple-minded, that girl would be a serious danger. ~*~ Back at home, Akane sits on her bed. Nabiki is with her, and the two sisters try to figure out what to do. Nabiki: Father and uncle Genma seem to be purists in gender matters. Whenever she's a girl, they cry because she's such a good girl, and when he's a boy, they cry because he's so manly. If this continues, they'll die of dehydration. Akane: She is so damn single minded. Nothing counts but those damn laws. It's as if they're all she thinks about. Nabiki: Well, she is far from home in a strange country - it's only natural that she clings to what she knows. Akane: [dryly] How heartwarming to know that you can still show so much empathy with someone who is trying to kill Ranko and more or less told me that I'm next. Nabiki: [shrugs] I was just thinking. If there were more people of her village here, perhaps she wouldn't concentrate on her task so desperately. Akane: [sighs] So, how is Ranko? Nabiki: Weird. Whenever she changes, you first have to find out what she remembers about her time in the other form. Sometimes she just doesn't remember doing things; Sometimes she remembers things in a really bizarre, fun-house mirror way. Sometimes the explanations she comes up with are so far-fetched, that I wonder how she is able to sustain her disbelief. [gets a thoughtful look in her eyes] Akane: Has she ever become a boy, while wearing a dress? Nabiki: Sure she did. He got rid of it real quick and told us that it wasn't right for us, to try out new dresses for you on him, even though you are his fiancée. Akane: He what?! Nabiki: He thought we had forced him to wear the dress, so we could see how it would look on you. And he thought he agreed because he wanted to help his fiancée look nice. Akane: [with a flushed face] That's... That's... Nabiki: Totally unlikely, I know. When would *you* ever wear dresses like those Ranko wears now? Akane's head goes even redder with anger. She clenches her teeth. ~*~ When Akane enters the living room, she is in a lousy mood. Her disposition is not improved by the fact that Ranko is present, too. She grumphs a greeting and otherwise ignores her. Ranko: My, Akane, you're not very cheerful today. Akane: And you think that's your business, because? Ranko: Why, I was just thinking of your good. If a girl is always grumpy, the boys tend to... ignore her. Akane: Is that so? Well, I happen to know a boy who is very interested in me. Ranko: Oh. She looks Akane up and down, making no secret of her disapproval. Ranko: Well, he surely must see *something* in you. And if you're sure he's the right one for you... Akane: Oh yes. Definitely. The right one. No doubt. Not the least bit a weirdo, oh no. [thinks] Only a little flipping backwards and forwards between being a boy and a girl. And driving me up the walls in either form! Ranko: I'm sure, though, that he'd appreciate it if you *tried* to wear something more feminine. Who knows? He might like you even more. Akane: [heated] Oh, great! I'm *so* looking forward to it. Now if you'll excuse me; I've got something *girlish* to do. [thinks] We've *got* to change you back - before I wring your snobbish "girlier-than-thou" neck! ~*~ As Akane stomps out of the living room, Nabiki grabs her by the shoulder. Nabiki: Pssst! Akane. Akane: Huh? Nabiki: I've got an idea. come with me. ~*~ In Nabiki's room, Akane listens to her sister. Nabiki: You said that Ranko subconsciously suppresses all her male or female aspects, depending on which form she is in, right? Akane: Yes, that's what Dr. Toufuu told me. Nabiki: Right. So these aspects are still there, only subconscious. What if we bring her into a situation that forces the suppressed aspects of her personality to become active? Akane: Like what? Nabiki smiles winningly, then points at Akane. Nabiki: Like you seducing Ranma! Akane: [shock position] Nani?! -- End of Part 21. Part 22: "I have realized something" Akane is sitting motionless on a stool in Nabiki's room. Her eyes are wide, her fingers splayed in shock. Nabiki: You heard me correctly - I said: seduce Ranma! Akane shakes her head violently. Akane: No... No way. Nabiki: Listen. It makes perfect sense. I told you that we should try to awaken Ranko's suppressed personality aspects, right? Obviously her female aspects will be harder to suppress, since she is really a girl. So if you tried to seduce Ranma, his female side would *have* to rebel. Thereby we can force him to remember both his sides and restore his memory. Akane looks still sceptical and reluctant. Nabiki: Look, you don't even have to carry through. Just look for signs of mental stress and concentrate on that. Still not wholly convinced, Akane slowly nods. Akane: You're completely crazy... but OK, I'll do it. Nabiki: So you *will* seduce him? ~*~ Souun, who was walking along the hall, hears the last sentence and stops dead in his tracks. He drops to his knees and scrambles to look through the keyhole. ~*~ Akane: But how do I *do* it? Nabiki: Akane, I'm just one year older than you... Akane: [interjects] One and a half. Nabiki: ... and I have to *tell* you? You who had half of the school running after you? Akane: Bah! Those jerks were just after me because of the challenge. And anyway, none of them was good enough to beat me. Nabiki: You never fail to amaze me, sis. Did it never occur to you that you could just have *lost* to one of them? Akane: [puzzled] But they weren't good enough to win. Nabiki: Never mind. I have something for you, when you put the move on Ranma... She walks over to the wardrobe and rummages through it. When she emerges again, she is carrying a red dress - or rather a Rrrred Drresssss! It's a strapless one-piece that bottoms out in a very short mini-skirt. Akane: Oh god, I can't wear that. It's skin tight; I'll look like a sausage! Nabiki: Yes, but a sexy sausage. One that makes men want to take a bite. Trust me, they may say that the way to a man's heart leads through his stomach, but there's a short-cut through his eyes. Akane holds the dress against herself to try it out, and blushes almost as red as the cloth. ~*~ Souun is bounding down the stairs and skidding into the living room. Souun: Genma! Our dreams come true! Genma: Kasumi and Ranko are cooking dinner again? Souun: Akane is going for Ranma! Genma jumps up. The two old men join hands and begin to dance in a circle. Souun: I overheard that she is out to seduce him. Genma: No doubt, because of his new manliness. Souun: Waaah! Our children will finally marry. ~*~ Ranma is coming in through the front door and is immediately set upon by the two fathers. Genma: Son. We have important things to talk about. We have to prepare you. Ranma: Prepare me? For what? Souun: For the most joyous experience in a young man's life. Ranma: Moving out? Genma: [smacks him over the head] Girls, Dummy! Ranma: Oh no! You're not sending me on another date with Akane! The last time, I got splashed with hot tea and we had to hurry home... to... uh, change my shirt. Besides - she doesn't like me that well. Whenever I'm with her, she seems so... distant. Like she doesn't really see me as a boy. Souun: She's shy. Genma: Listen, son, when she mmmblft... Ranma's hand, clapped about his mouth, silences Genma in mid-sentence. Ranma slowly edges past him, his eyes fixed on the stairs. Akane stands at the foot of the stairs. She is wearing The Dress and smiling at him. Akane: Oh, Ranma! Would you come up and help me with this dress? I want to make sure how it looks on me. She pronounces "on" with a certain tone of voice, implying that "off" is definitely an option. Like a robot operated by remote-control, Ranma walks up to her. Hidden at the top of the stairs, Nabiki gives Akane a thumbs-up sign. Nabiki: [whispers] Perfect! [thinks] That last-minute coaching really did the job. She rushes back to her room, before the two teenagers come up and enter the door marked "Akane". ~*~ In Akane's room, Akane sits down on her bed and crosses her legs. She flutters her eyelids in a totally overplayed gesture, but Ranma is incoherent already, anyway. He fidgets with his fingers, pulls up the chair and, after three unsuccessful tries, sits in it. Akane: [thinks] Those must be the signs of mental stress, that Nabiki talked about. I'm on the right track. [out loud] Well, Ranma. How *nice* to have you here in my room alone with me. A flash interrupts her train of thought. Outside the window hangs Souun, upside down, with a camera in his hands. Akane walks over, shifts open the window and stares at him. Souun: Just taking a little photo for the memory of this wonderful day, heh heh heh... Akane takes the camera from him and places a *heavy* dumbbell in his hands. Immediately his arms are pulled down. A second later, Genma, who was holding him up by his feet, is pulled from the roof after him. Akane closes the window again. From outside comes a metallic that signals the fathers' landing. Akane: Where was I? Ranma: You um... err, ah, you were... uh... Akane: Ah, yes, I wanted to tell you how long I've waited for a chance to have you all to myself for a moment... Kunou: [entering by the door] Saotome Ranma! How dare you accost Akane in her own room! I came to offer her these roses, and I find *you*! Akane: Oh, Kunou-*sempai*! How nice of you to visit. Say, I'm sure I heard something outside. I'm *so* scared - could you look out the window, what it is? [ushers him over and opens the window] Kunou: Fear not, my beloved Akane! I will make sure that you are undisturbed. [he leans out of the window] Ah, there are two men lying down there. It seems, that one of them is your esteemed father. Akane: Are you sure? Lean out a bit more and look closer. Kunou: [complies] Yes. It is indeed your father, I am completely suooooaaaaahhh! Akane: [looking after him] Right onto the dumbbell. [turns around on her heel] Right! As I was *saying*, how nice that we are here together all alo... Souun: [peeking over the windowsill] What? Are you still not any further? Genma: [bursting in through the door] Do we have to help you with everything? Souun scrambles in through the window. Both fathers push their respective children together. Souun: Now, come on, ha ha ha! Genma: Don't be shy, Ranma! Kiss her. Suddenly Ranma breaks out. Ranma: No! Akane: [thinks] That's it! His female side is rebelling against the situation. Ranma: You interfering old geezers! You have no business here. He grabs them and boots them out of the open window, towards the horizon. He then turns to look at Akane. Akane: [thinks] Has he regained his memory? Ranma: Akane. I am sorry that I let it come this far. Akane: [thinks] Yes! Ranma: I have realized something, just now. Akane: [thinks] Yes! Ranma: If I am ever going to do it, it should be of my own free will - not because I am pushed by our fathers. Akane: [thinks] Huh?!? Ranma: Finally I can say it without shame... This is what *I* want. Akane's eyes bug out, as Ranma sweeps her up in his arms, looks her into the eyes and plants a deep, passionate kiss on her lips. -- End of Part 22 Part 23: "Is easy" Ranma holds Akane tight to himself, as he continues the kiss with closed eyes. Akane's shock is slowly wearing off, to be replaced by fury. Just as she is about to free herself and boot him into orbit, a voice rings out. Voice: Hold it right there! Nabiki is standing behind the pair. She has just turned Ranma female again with a kettle of hot water. Nabiki: Say, Ranko... Why are you kissing Akane? Ranko's eyes snap open, to look right into Akane's nonplussed face. For a second, nobody moves. Then Ranko breaks the lip contact and slowly backs out of the embrace, looking at Akane in total astonishment. Ranko: I was kissing her because... I... I was... Akane: [hisses] Nabiki! You were planning this all along! Nabiki: Of course. I figured that would be one situation that she couldn't find an explanation for. Akane: Why didn't you tell me?! Nabiki: Huh? Would you have done it, if I had told you? Akane: Of course not! Nabiki: Well, then it would have been pretty pointless to tell you, right? Akane: Uh, sounds logical... Hey! In the background, Ranko has fallen to her knees, her hands on her temples. She hears nothing of the quarreling siblings - she hears only an echo of her own words. Echo: I was kissing her... was kissing her... kissing her... kissing her... Ranko cries out in pain. Akane's head snaps in her direction. Akane: Ranko! [hurries over] Are you all right? Ranko: Uuuhh... The wall bulges inward and breaks. In the hole stands Shampoo, with her bonbori ready. Shampoo: Ranko, Korosu! Akane: Aww, not *now*! She stands up and moves between The Amazon and the groggy Ranko. Shampoo makes one bonbori vanish and wags a finger at Akane. Shampoo: No. Shampoo come for Ranko now. Violent girl Akane wait till is her turn. Akane: You can't kill Ranko! Shampoo: Shampoo *can*. Must! Then she marry Ranma. [narrows eyes] Shampoo sure she can find time for Akane in between. Ranko: [gets up unsteadily] Uuuhh... How many times do I have to tell you, Shampoo? I won't marry you. Akane almost jumps at this. Akane: [thinks] She remembers! Shampoo: Silly Ranko. Shampoo *kill* Ranko - marry *Ranma*. Is easy. Ranko: Not quite as easy as you think. Shampoo: Ha! You talk brave now, but one day Shampoo win. Ranko: That was not exactly what I meant. Nabiki? Why don't you fetch a bucket of cold water, while we calm the living wrecking ball down? Nabiki takes off, thankful to be out of the way of violence, before Akane can cry out. Akane: No, Don't! Ranko, you can't tell her! Ranko: Sure I can. Shampoo: Tell Shampoo what? Where is Ranma? Akane: [never taking her eyes of Ranko] I guess he'll be here soon. Ranko: [grinning] He'll arrive with Nabiki - in a way. Akane: [whispers] What are you thinking? For a moment, they stand still. Shampoo with her bonbori ready; Ranko in fighting position; Akane besides Ranko. Then Nabiki arrives back with a bucket as ordered. Ranko takes the bucket, while Shampoo cranes her neck to look down the hallway. Shampoo: Where Ranma? Ranko: Over here. As Shampoo turns, Ranko splashes herself with the water. Everything seems to slow down. Ranko grows taller and changes into Ranma before the astonished Amazon's eyes. Shampoo's jaw drops, as do her bonbori. Ranma waits for a few seconds, then he takes the kettle, that is still on the floor, and upends it over his head. Shampoo twitches as Ranma reverts to female form. Ranko: You see? You can't marry Ranma. Ranma is just me in disguise. It's a secret, but now you know. Shampoo's slack jaw begins to move, as if she was saying something. Suddenly she lunges forward. Shampoo: K- korosu! Ranko frantically brings up her arms to deflect the punches - but they never hit. Shampoo has stopped short, without connecting. When Ranko looks up at her face, she sees tears rolling from the Amazon's eyes. Shampoo backs away, then abruptly turns and hurries out through the hole in the wall. Shampoo: [running] Bie liao! The three girls stare after her. Then Nabiki flourishes a Chinese-Japanese dictionary. Nabiki: Bie Liao... That means... [flips pages] Ranko: [without turning her head] I guess I know what it means. Akane: [regaining her speech] What were you thinking?! You could have made her believe that you were really male. Ranko: Huh? But then she would have tried to marry me. This way she just wanted to kill me. Akane: Oh, *now* it makes sense. Ranko: Well, she thought I... I was in love with you. Um. So she would have tried to kill *you* instead. Akane: I can very well look after myself! Ranko: Sure! You may be good, but don't flatter yourself - Shampoo is faster. She had you on the mat once already. Akane: [hefting the chair] Is that so? Nabiki: My, it's good to see you two back to your old selves again. Whatever would we have done for entertainment otherwise? -- End of Part 23 Part 24: "Take these lips of mine" Tendou Akane's eyes are wide with surprise. Akane: Rhythmic Gymnastics *Wrestling*? She is sitting in her room on her bed. Before her on the floor sit a few girls from her school sports club. Ranko is also there, sitting a little to the side, listening. Girl: [pulls a big schematic diagram from nowhere] The fighters use only the techniques and tools of rhythmic gymnastics in their match. Girl2: Our school is to fight against the champion of Hebereke High, but all girls that are qualified are in no condition to fight. Our School's honour will be lost! Girl3: The only girl in the sports club who has a chance of representing our school without months of training is you! Akane: I'm not sure if I can do this. But If you want me, I will help. Ranko, who is listening to all this, looks up to see Akane's pet P-chan squeeze out through the door crack. Ranko: [thinks] Where are you going Ryouga? The girls cry tears of thankfulness. ~*~ Akane and Ranko are in the practice hall; Akane is wearing her gi. Around her on the floor is an arrangement of rhythmic gymnastics tools: clubs, a rope, a ribbon, A hoop and a ball. Akane: OK, let's see how these work. She takes up the clubs, twirls them experimentally and leaps through the air, letting the clubs spin. She lands with her arms outstretched to catch the descending clubs, but they clatter to the floor several meters to each side. Blushing embarrassedly, she shoots Ranko a "don't say a word" look, but Ranko is just looking on impassively. Ranko doesn't move a muscle, while Akane entangles herself in the ribbon, breaks the hoop, and crushes all the tools to sawdust in a screaming fit. When Akane has finished, Ranko speaks. Ranko: Perhaps... those girls confused enthusiasm for violence with fighting experience. Akane turns to her, flushed red with anger. Akane: It's my first attempt! I never did this in my life, so cut the smartass comments. How am I supposed to handle these things if I never trained with them before? Ranko: Well, this will be expensive training, if we have to buy new tools after each round. Akane blushes, half with anger, half with embarrassment, and is on the verge of shouting a response, when the door shifts open. Ryouga is standing in it, his hair still slightly damp. Ryouga: I can train you. Akane: Ryouga? Ranko: Where did you learn Rhythmic Gymnastics Wrestling? [slaps her forehead] Duh! What am I doing, asking Ryouga where something was?! Ryouga calmly takes up a ribbon and lets it spin towards Ranko with incredible speed. Ranko has to jump to avoid being hit by the cloth that's spinning so fast that it cuts like a razor. Her clothes are ripped at the right shoulder and the legs. Her heart thumps from the sudden shock. Ryouga: The important thing is that I can prepare Akane for her match. Akane: You would do that, Ryouga? That's so *nice* of you. She hurries to get another set of tools for herself. Ryouga looks after her in bliss. Ranko leans over to him and asks him in a low voice. Ranko: Did you tell her, yet? Ryouga: [staring at Akane, fidgeting] I'm working myself up to it. Ranko: Well, you're certainly working yourself up to *something*, P-chan. Ryouga: [hotly] Who is P-chan?! Ranko: *I* know who P-chan is. The question is, when will Akane finally know? Ryouga punches at Ranko; Ranko evades. Ryouga: How am I ever going to confess, if you never give me a chance? You're always putting me down in front of her. Ranko: Chances to confess to her are not mine to give. If you had any courage, you'd make your own opportunity. But Ryouga is not listening anymore. By now the two are fighting steadily; Punching, kicking, dodging and countering. Ryouga sends Ranko flying outside, where she lands gracefully, anticipating his next move. ~*~ There is a shadow in the trees beyond the Tendou garden walls. It watches with interest as the girl is flung out of the house, ducks under the flying kick of the young man and sends him head-first into one of the big ornamental boulders. As the fight moves forward and back, the shadow observes. Finally it has seen enough. Shadow: [thinks] This must be her - Tendou Akane. Who else but this formidable fighter would they have chosen to stand against the Black Rose of St. Hebereke? Train well, Akane. The fight will be upon you soon. The shadow vanishes from its lookout point with a bout of laughter that borders on insanity. A few seconds later the fight ends as both fighters, distracted by the unnerving sound, fall into the garden pool. ~*~ That night, Ranko shifts open the door to her room and enters, yawning loudly. She changes into her pyjamas, lies down on her futon and looks upwards, where she stares right into the face of a teenage girl in a leotard, clinging to the ceiling. The girl has black hair tied to a pony tail at the side of her head; She holds a black rose between her lips and a large wooden mallet behind her back. Before Ranko can say a thing, the girl dives down towards her, obviously intending to crush her beneath the giant mallet. Ranko backflips out of the path and lands in a ready position, even as the Mallet crunches into the futon. Surprisingly, the panda, sleeping on the other mat, doesn't even stir. There is a bouquet of black roses lying next to him. Ranko: Who the hell are you?! The girl stands straight, mallet at the ready, and introduces herself. Girl: I am Kodachi the Black Rose, champion of St. Hebereke High. I believe that you, Tendou Akane, are to be my opponent in next week's match. So let us both do our best and fight in all fairness. [lunges forward with the hammer] Ranko: [dodges] This is "fighting in all fairness"? Ambushing a girl in her own... Hey! [points at Kodachi] It was *you*, wasn't it? You are the reason why all the rhythmic gymnasts of Fuurinkan High are out of the picture. Well, you made a mistake now; I am not Tendou Akane. Kodachi: In that case, I apologize for the intrusion and will now leave you to search for my real opponent. She moves to leave, but is stopped by Ranko, who blocks her way with a kick. Ranko: Not so fast. If you really think I'll let you go to attack Akane now, you are even crazier than you look. Kodachi: If I have to go through you to get to Tendou Akane - So be it! Kodachi attacks with her mallet again. The descending wood is met by Ranko's foot coming the other way. There is no contest - The mallet is sent flying from Kodachi's grip. Kodachi regards Ranko, sweating. She pulls out a ribbon from wherever in her leotard she managed to conceal it. Kodachi: You are good. How fortunate for both of us that it isn't you I'll fight next week. I shall return for Akane. She spins her ribbon in a spiral pattern and a storm of black rose petals ensues. She uses the distraction to bound out of the door, outside. Ranko looks around. The whole floor is littered with rose petals. She runs to the door. Ranko: [shouts] Hey! Who's gonna clean up that mess? I just cleaned up in here last Sunday! ~*~ On the roof, Kodachi stands, breathing heavily. Kodachi: [thinks] I have to find out who Tendou Akane is and in which room she sleeps, if I am to cripple her before the match. A voice pulls her out of her thoughts. Ranko: Who told you, you could leave, Black Petunia? Kodachi spins around. Behind her stands Ranko, as if she appeared out of thin air. Ranko: You'll not even go *near* Akane! She takes a flying leap, foot outstretched, at Kodachi; Kodachi ducks to the side, but in passing her, Ranko's other foot lashes out, impacting on Kodachi's temple. Unfortunately, Ranko did not calculate where the arc of her jump would take her, and so she sails far over the edge of the roof. Helplessly she watches the garden pool grow bigger beneath her. When Ranma looks up, a second later, he sees Kodachi falling backwards over the edge of the roof. Ranma: [thinks] Damn! She's unconscious. She'll break her neck. With two jumps, faster than the wind, he jumps clear of the pool and catches the falling girl, carrying her back up onto the roof. Kodachi is already regaining consciousness. The first thing she sees is the man holding her. Kodachi: [thinks] Oh. He's gorgeous. [out loud] I was.. [grabs him in an embrace] so *afraid*. Ranma tries to politely extricate himself from her arms, but Kodachi keeps an iron grip. She is blushing, as she presses herself against her rescuer. Kodachi: [thinks] To think that life at a dreary girl's school had already killed all hope of finding a man like this. She lets go of Ranma, who quickly retreats two steps. Ranma: Now look, just leave m... Kodachi: Oh, but you *must* give me your name. You saved me. Ranma: [reluctantly] My name is Saotome Ranma. Kodachi: [whips out a bouquet of black roses] For you, Ranma-sama. Ranma: Err, I'd rather you left now... In that moment, the bouquet explodes into Ranma's face with a yellow gas. Ranma coughs, then suddenly falls to his knees. Ranma: Hey! What... What... Kodachi: Just a little touch of paralysis gas. Ranma: Y-you're not crazy - you're completely insane! Kodachi lovingly lays Ranma on his back and drapes herself over him. Kodachi: Hush now, my lover. Take these lips of mine. Ranma: [helplessly] Nnnnnnnnnn! Suddenly Kodachi is flying. Akane is standing besides Ranma in her pyjamas. She's glowing with anger. Akane: And right above my bedroom, too! Kodachi: [lands] What an unromantic girl. Such tragic timing. [jumps away over the roofs] Despair not, Ranma-sama. We will meet again, soon. [insane laughter] Akane looks down at the lifeless Ranma, who looks up at her pleadingly. She pushes him into a sitting position and kneels down before him, with her back to him. Akane: Honestly, Ranma... She puts his arms around her neck and rises, carrying him on her back. Akane: What is it about you that always attracts this kind of girl? [grins] Is one girl as fiancée not enough? [laughs] Seriously, I don't think that we've seen the last of this. Ranma: [thinks] Wait till you hear who that was. Kodachi, the Black Rose... And you'll have to fight that maniac next week. -- End of part 24. Part 25: "That Black Rose will be sorry" It is early morning, but the sounds of fighting can already be heard from the practice hall of the Tendou Dojo. Akane is standing in the middle of the hall, sweating, but looking happy. She is holding one rhythmic gymnastics club in each hand. Akane: Phew! That Kodachi will get the fight she's looking for. Ranko is sitting along the wall, watching her. Ranko: So, you're pretty confident? Akane: [twirls one of the clubs] Yes. That week of training with Ryouga was a real help. Ranko: When he was able to find the practice hall, anyway. The club bonks off Ranko's head. Akane: And your "giving him directions" didn't help either. What did you *think* of, sending him off in the direction of Osaka? Ranko: [rubbing her head] Well, I figured he was just as likely to turn up here, as if I had pointed him on the right way. Akane: Hmph! He taught me a lot during this time, and I'm confident that I'll be able to hold myself at the match today. Ranko: But we'd better watch out, or Kodachi will try to disqualify you "in all fairness" before you get your chance. ~*~ Meanwhile, Ryouga is fighting his way through the underbrush of a deep forest. Ryouga: [grumbles] Curse you, Ranko! This is your fault. ~*~ At the St. Hebereke School for Girls, Kodachi is already awaiting her opponents. They meet her in the corridor before the changing rooms. Kodachi: So. You are Tendou Akane - and you brought your little girlfriend, too. Ranko just snarls at her, while Akane evenly meets her gaze. Kodachi extends a hand. Kodachi: Very well, then. May the better one win. Akane eyes the hand suspiciously at first, but then - when she cannot find any hidden weapons - takes it. Kodachi shakes Akane's hand for a second, the lets herself fall backward, pulling Akane with her, and throwing her into the air. Akane just somersaults over her and lands on her feet. She turns to look at Kodachi disgustedly. Kodachi: Ooops, I must have slipped. She lies without any sign of shame. Akane and Ranko enter their room, without saying another word to the other girl. A bouquet of black roses, lying on the table, is quickly disposed of via the window. Akane changes into her leotard and tights, and is just about to put her clothes into the locker, when Ranko stops her. Ranko: Akane! Look. She points upwards, where a bucket is balanced on top of the locker, just waiting to drop onto anyone opening the door. Akane: A bucket of water. How childish. Ranko: You think that's just water in there? Akane gulps. She puts up a stepladder, that was leaning against the wall, and carefully climbs up, to remove the bucket. Ranko watches her, when suddenly her sense of danger goes off. Ranko: [thinks] That stepladder. It was just too damn handy, nearby. [out loud] Akane! Don't step on the last step! Akane: Huh? But it is already too late. The last step gives under Akane's weight and the girl falls. She lands heavily, her left leg twisted beneath her. She grits her teeth and expels her breath. A single tear is rolling from her eye. Akane: [quietly] Ow. In a flash, Ranko is by her and helps her stand. It is obvious that she cannot stand alone - her ankle is twisted. Akane sits down on a chair. She looks sad and angry at the same time. Akane: So that's it. Kodachi wins after all. Ranko: [determined] No, she doesn't! Akane: I'm in no state to fight, Ranko. We'll have to forfeit this match. I was the last substitute our team had. Ranko: Well, you're looking at the *new* substitute. That Black Rose will be sorry she ever messed with you. Akane: But Ranko... Ranko: What do you want? I can fight; I can wear your leotard - it's stretchable, isn't it? - and I'm a girl. She spreads her arms in a "What more do you want?" gesture. unfortunately she brushes up against the locker with her hand and the bucket falls down onto her head. It *did* contain only water, after all. Ranma: Err, if I can find some hot water, that is. ~*~ Ryouga is pushing through a field of of shoulder-high grass. Ryouga: Curse you, Ranko! I will miss Akane's match because of you. Suddenly he vanishes downwards from sight. A very angry squeal echoes over the field. P-chan: Bweeeeeee! ~*~ Akane is still sitting on the chair nursing her ankle, when Ranko comes back. Ranko is now wearing the leotard, and Akane is back in her clothes. Ranko: It's all cleared. The judges have accepted me as a substitute and the match will begin soon. Akane: Ranko - do you really think you can go into a match with someone like Kodachi unprepared? Ranko: Hey, I watched you and Ryouga train for a week, after all. She picks up the ribbon and whips it clear across the room, where it ties around both clubs and the hoop. She snaps it back and catches the tools deftly. Ranko: Willya toss me the rope, please? Akane stares at her. Then she slowly reaches over, picks up the rope and throws it to Ranko. Akane: W-why didn't you snag it, too? Ranko: Hey, it's my first time. Cut me some slack. A gong sounds. Ranko: Uh oh, gotta go now. See ya out there. Akane stares after the leaving Ranko for a time. Akane: [thinks] I'm beginning to believe that Kodachi *will* be sorry. ~*~ Announcer: Here are the champions. The crowd in the hall around the ring roars approval at the entrance of the two girls. Announcer: For St. Hebereke stands... Kunou Kodachiii! Kodachi's supporters applaud wildly. They know what awaits them after the show, if they don't. Akane freezes as she hears Kodachi's full name. Akane: *Kunou*?! Announcer: And on the other side, for Fuurinkan High fights... [rustles paper] um, Saotome Rankooo! Kodachi glares across the ring at her opponent. Kodachi: [thinks] Saotome Ran... -ko? The referee calls them to the middle of the ring, to shake hands and begin to fight. Ranko stretches out her hand, not expecting Kodachi to try anything before everybody's eyes. She is wrong. Pig: Bweeee! Kodachi: For you. A little something that I found wandering the corridors just now. I thought that you'd need a mascot. Ranko pulls at the chain that Kodachi has just attached to her wrist. At the other end hangs a little black pig with a bandanna around its neck. Ranko: [grits her teeth, to P-chan] Well, well, Ryouga. Always turning up where nobody expected you. P-chan does not answer. He is too busy biting Ranko's arm. Trying to use Ranko's diverted attention, Kodachi lunges at her with a club outstretched. Ranko is barely able to duck. Out of the corners of her eyes she sees something happen to the club. Akane, who is sitting in the front row, jumps up, ignoring her bad ankle. Akane: Referee! That club has spikes! But when Kodachi holds out her club, the spikes have vanished again, just like they appeared. Kodachi grins smugly. Meanwhile, Ranko has taken up her own clubs and launches her attack. She never makes it. His little legs a blur, P-chan has circled Ranko, wrapping the chain, that binds him to her, firmly around her legs. Ranko stumbles and falls flat. Ranko: Ryouga, you pig, you're gonna pay for that. She frantically rolls to the side, to evade Kodachi's next move, but the Black Rose scores a glancing blow to her side. Ranko: Unnnh! [frees herself of the chain, to Kodachi] And *you* will pay, too. She throws a club at Kodachi, who laughs and sidesteps it easily - right into the path of the hoop, that Ranko has thrown with lightning speed. The hoop catches around Kodachi's throat, choking her for a second. She lets the tool clatter to the ground and looks at Ranko hatefully. Kodachi: [coughs] So, you want to play it the hard way, girl? Then try *this*! On the table of the judges stands a tray with cups of tea and a kettle of boiling water on a heater. Kodachi's ribbon lashes out of the ring and snags the kettle. With a flick of her wrist, she sends it flying at Ranko. Kodachi: Let's see you shrug off the Attack of the Boiling Water! With a look of intense concentration on her face, Ranko aims one of her clubs and throws it with all her force. It's obvious immediately, that it is not going to connect with the kettle. Instead, the blurring club slices right through the tautly stretched ribbon that holds it, thereby sending the kettle far off its mark, missing Ranko. But as the kettle sails out of the ring, it turns over and a stream of boiling water leaks out. Right down towards the squealing P-chan. The water hits, and in the audience, Akane's eyes go wide. Akane: P-... P-Chan! -- End of Part 25. Part 26: "Hold fast!" An astonished murmur goes through the crowd watching the ring. Akane has jumped up again and winces at the pain shooting through her ankle. Announcer: An astonishing thing has happened in the ring. Most of the ring is obscured by steam from the boiling water. As it slowly lifts, the onlookers see Ranko crouching on the ground, clutching at her arm. Announcer: Saotome Ranko has thrown herself in the way of the water, to save the little pig that is her mascot. That must really hurt. Will she have to quit to treat her injury? Akane slowly sits down, the tears in her eyes stem in equal part from the pain and from her feelings about what she has just seen. Akane: [thinks] You sacrificed yourself for P-chan. Ranko - and I thought you hated him. P-chan is just as astonished as she is. He sits on his haunches and stares disbelievingly at Ranko. Ranko takes her eyes off Kodachi for a second, to glance over at him. Ranko: [thinks] If that water had hit him and he'd changed while he's got that chain around him, he would've been crippled or even killed. Or Akane would've killed him. [turns back to Kodachi] Now I've got to fight her with the pig *and* my arm holding me back. Kodachi: Give up now, Girl. Go home and lick your wounds, while you still can. Ranko: I hate to have to tell you this again, but you're crazy! Do you really think I'll let you go unpunished? Kodachi: [laughs] Oohohohohooo! Then face the wrath of the Black Rose! Kodachi lunges forward with clubs in both hands. Her arms blur, as she strikes in a pattern, not unlike Kunou's multiple strike move with the bokken. Ranko is driven backwards and jumps up onto one of the corner poles. She fights off Kodachi's strikes with one club of her own, as best as she can. But Kodachi's attack is so fast that it looks as if she was using twenty clubs at once. Akane frowns at the picture. She, too, feels reminded of Kunou's moves. Suddenly a voice snaps her out of her ponderings. Kunou: Ah, I wonder. My sister has never truly been able to use this technique. Surely she is resorting to a sort of trickery, as is her wont. Akane's head turns, as if it was affixed to a turntable. In the row behind her sits Kunou. Akane: Your *sister*?! Kunou: Indeed, Akane-san. But even though she is, I have to admit that her trickery and twistedness are far beyond anything I have ever experienced. I feel sorry for the pigtailed girl, to be set against her. I will seek her out after the match and comfort her. He breaks out in a smile at the thought - Akane breaks out in sweat. In the ring, Ranko has realized that she will lose, if she allows Kodachi to press her any further. Bunching up her leg muscles, she jumps high over Kodachi's reach. While she is above her, Ranko throws her club at Kodachi's still blurring wrist. Kodachi, who was following Ranko with her eyes, loses her rhythm. Out of her numbed hands, clubs fall to the ground - ten; fifteen; twenty clubs. Ranko lands on the other end of the ring. Ranko: Why, Kodachi. I didn't think you were coordinated enough to hold *two* clubs - let alone twenty. With a cry of rage, Kodachi runs at Ranko. Ranko sidesteps with a grin, expecting her to run past, but to her astonishment, Kodachi falls. She hits the ground hard, beside Ranko. As Ranko looks at her, she sees that Kodachi's feet are tied. The chain that connects P-chan with Ranko's wrist is wrapped around Kodachi's ankles and P-chan is busy, chomping on her thighs. Ranko: [thinks] Ryouga?! [to P-chan] Hey, thanks! Kodachi squirms out of the chains and away from Ranko. Her face is flushed; She is steaming with anger. Again, her ribbon flashes out of the ring. Ranko: [thinks] Uh-oh. Not another kettle. But something else hangs entangled in the ribbon, when it snaps back into the ring. It is Kunou. Kodachi hurls her brother at Ranko, but Kunou whips out his bokken and slices the ribbon, before he reaches his target. He puts the wooden sword away again and bows to Ranko. Then he turns to Kodachi. Kunou: My sister, you know you have my admiration for your sneakiness and trickery, but I will not partake in any action against the love of my life, the pig-tailed girl. [leaves the ring] Ranko: He's your *brother*? [thinks] Figures, that the two biggest weirdoes in Nerima would be related. Kodachi: OhohoHOHOhoHOOO! How ironic that you should be the love of my brother, when your own relation to *my* love is so obviously evident. Ranko: My what? Kodachi: Why, of course. Has Ranma-sama not told of me and our romantic night above the roofs of Nerima? I'm sure he has - why else would you so suddenly turn up and challenge me? You do not want your brother to date me! Ranko: Ranma's not my *brother*, you dolt! Kodachi: And still you bear the same name, and your resemblance to him is remarkable. It is no matter whether you are his cousin, sister or whatever; it is no matter that you are the love of my brother; I will not permit you to stand in the way of my love. She pelts Ranko with the remainder of her clubs, lying strewn around her, but Ranko simply swats them out of the air with her rope, that she twirls so fast that it acts like a solid shield. Ranko: Kodachi, you are one sick person. And you haven't got the slightest clue. This isn't about love - this is about what you did to Akane; and I won't let that go unpunished. Slowly but inexorably Ranko advances towards Kodachi, who grows more and more frantic in her throwing. Kodachi calls out to her second, and requires a hoop. When it flies to her, she catches it deftly by letting it rotate around her hand. Faster and faster it spins, until she sends it whizzing towards her still advancing opponent with a flick of her wrist. Ranko keeps herself behind the rope, still twirling as fast as ever. In the audience, Akane yells out in surprise, when the hoop cuts through Ranko's "shield" like butter. Ranko drops to the ground, only a hair's breadth between her and the hoop. Light glints off the implement as it whirrs onwards. Ranko: Th-that's a razor! Having not met anything to stop it, the deadly hoop carries on its trajectory - right into the direction of the terrified audience. Ranko: No! She drops her now useless rope and grabs another ribbon. Praying for success, she sends the cloth hurtling after the hoop and manages to catch it before it plows a deadly path through the hapless watchers. It clatters to the ground. Kodachi: An opening! Without losing a split second, Kodachi recovers her trick club and lunges at Ranko with its spikes extended. Ranko is caught from behind, but can twist sideways, so only her shoulder is grazed. She drops forward, and Kodachi already imagines the battle won. But Ranko uses her momentum to do a lightning fast ground loop that ends with her bringing her legs up to grab Kodachi's outstretched weapon. Twisting with all the force she can muster, Ranko levers Kodachi into the air by her own club. Even as she flies up, Kodachi begins to laugh. Kodachi: Oohohohohohohoooo! Ranko: [thinks] What do you have to laugh about, you weirdo? When you hit the ground outside the ring you're out! As Kodachi nears the highest point of her arc, she pulls out a whistle and blows it. A shiver runs through the ring; Suddenly it jerks and begins to move. Kodachi laughs. Ranko: Oh no! The ring is moving towards her and she'll land inside! She looks around frantically. Suddenly she grabs P-chan. Ranko: Ryouga! You gotta help me. Hold fast! Ranko throws P-chan at the chain out of the ring. The chain wraps around a supporting beam and the pig holds on tight to the chain with legs and teeth. Ranko: I hope your monstrous strength doesn't leave you in this form, Ryouga. Ranko's faith in P-chan is rewarded. She braces herself against a corner pole of the ring and with P-chan as anchor she is able to stop the ring's movement. As the ring jerks to a halt, at the far side the boards beneath the ropes break and out tumble some girls in leotards. Hastily they scurry away. Announcer: There is the secret of the moving ring. The entire rhythmic gymnastics team of St. Hebereke was pushing for a win. ~*~ Meanwhile, with a scream of frustrated rage Kodachi plummets to the ground, landing head-first in the middle of the audience. ~*~ The referee holds up Ranko's arm, announcing her the winner. Announcer: With Kunou Kodachi out of the ring, Saotome Ranko is the winner of this match. Fuurinkan High wins the contest! Akane limps towards the grinning Ranko and gives her a big hug, speaking equally of her relief to see Ranko survive unhurt, and her joy about the win. Akane: Ranko! That was incredible. The girls from the Fuurinkan High sports club run up to them. Girl: We never dared hope for such an ending! Girl2: We just wanted to avoid the shame of not even being able to compete - and you won! Ranko: I just hope that Kodachi has learnt her lesson. ~*~ Amidst the applauding audience, Kodachi is stuck upside down between two seat rows. She is wedged between one seat and the back of the one before it, pedaling frantically to get free. The man who is sitting on the seat, looks happily at the girl, squirming almost in his lap. Seamus: I think I jus' died an' went to heaven. Kodachi: Aaaargh! Somebody help me out of here! -- End of Part 26. Acknowledgement: The series _Ranma ½_ and its characters, on which this work is based, are copyright © by Takahashi Rumiko. The text also draws on the English adaptation of above series, copyright © by Viz Communications, Inc. Both infringements are perpetrated in the full knowledge that the above parties can now legally sue my pants off. I, the author, hope that this work is seen as what it was meant to be: a tribute to what I consider to be one of the best manga series in existence. I wish to thank everybody who reads this for their time. You make me very happy. Also thanks to everybody on the Fanfic Mailing List, who commented on the installments, as I sent them there - particularly Zen, my #1 reader. :) Do not hesitate to mail me about anything you want to say or ask about these stories. My e-address is Sebastian.