The Cure By: Lord Archive Characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Communication, and some other companies. Used without permission. I'll return them, I can only stand to be hit by a mallet so many times. *>WHAM<* "Archive no baka!" Ite! Warning this spamfic is Lime. Nothing is described but sex acts are implied. --------------- Dr. Tofu worked his miracle hands on Nodoka's back. She had come in complaining about lower back problems caused by lifting too many planks of wood the day before. He hadn't seen much of the Saotomes or Tendos in months. Seems Akane hadn't been getting hurt nearly as often, Ranma could heal his own wounds rather quickly, and if they needed occult information, Cologne was a better source. At least Kasumi still visited, even though she read the entire thousand-book library, twice. "Dr. Tofu, I understand you're a family friend to the Tendos," Nodoka said. Dr, Tofu nodded. "Yes. Akane used to be a very regular customer. She was quite active as a kid, but Ranma seems to have cured her of having so many 'accidents.'" "She's still quite active. Too active really. She should settle down and marry my son." Dr. Tofu chuckled. "They're still very young, just give them a couple years and everything will work out just fine." "But I want to have babies in the house," Nodoka pouted. Dr. Tofu blinked. "Now Saotome-san, you're still a young woman. Why force Ranma to be a parent when you can still bare a child?" Nodoka sighed. "It's my husband's fault. No matter what I try he just won't find much interest in me. He'd rather drink than make love to me. He just doesn't have a sex drive. It was a miracle that I conceived Ranma from the few times we've been together." Dr. Tofu blinked. "Yes, that would be a problem... but perhaps I can help." "Really?" Dr. Tofu nodded. "I've been helping... someone test a drug that'll help spice up sexual relations." "You've been testing it?" Nodoka asked. Dr. Tofu blushed. "As a doctor by judging the results." Nodoka thought, but shelved it as it wasn't very important now. "Can I 'test' the drug?" Dr. Tofu went to a drawer and pulled out a pill bottle from it. "This is a two week supply. Just give Genma one pill at dinner and he'll be ready by the time you'd go to sleep. Just come back in two weeks and be ready to answer questions on its effectiveness. And keep an eye on him for any changes and possible side-effects." "Thank you, doctor." Nodoka looked like she was about to geyser tears of joy. ---------------- Two Weeks Later: "Oh, doctor. It is a miracle drug. I've haven't had to convince him to make love. He was practically pouncing on me! I haven't felt this satisfied in ages!" Nodoka had a smile that reached her ears. "Glad to hear it. Now I'll need to ask some questions about Genma." Dr. Tofu went through several questions that Nodoka answered to the best of her ability. He concluded, "Thank you, this information will prove invaluable." "Dr. Tofu, can I please get more of the medicine?" "Two month prescription?" "Thank you." Nodoka's bow reached the floor. ---------------- Week Six: "Dr. Tofu, I'm afraid I've misplace the medicine. I can't find it anywhere. Can I please get the prescription renewed... for say four months?" "I don't see a problem with that," Dr. Tofu answered. "You haven't been giving Genma more than is prescribed, are you?" "No, sir." --------------- Week Ten: "There's been some damage to the Dojo, doctor. I'm afraid the medicine was destroyed," Nodoka said tearfully. "Here's the last of the medicine I can give you for a while. It should last you six months." "Thank you!" --------------- Week Sixteen: "DR. TOFU! What have you done?" Soun screamed. "What has gotten you so upset?" Dr. Tofu asked. "The medicine you've been giving Nodoka for Ranma, what is that stuff?" "Ranma? The medicine was for Genma to spice up his sex life." "Well, it certainly boosted Ranma's." Soun looked ready to cry, and from the evidence it wouldn't have been the first time this hour. "What happened?" Soun wailed. "Akane is dead! Kasumi, Nabiki, Nodoka, Ukyou and maybe Shampoo and Kodachi are pregnant! P-Chan runs in fear and my butt hurts!" --------------- Author's Notes: Yes, I'm a sick puppy. You're point? This little spamfic has been modified from a dirty joke I heard at work. Have problems with the way Dr. Tofu gave Nodoka the drug? You should, he's supposed to only practice chiropractic, shiatsu, and moxibustion. He is not shown to have a license to do general practice medicine. Yes, Nodoka does pray her child is Genma's, but she's not certain. Akane died with a smile on her face.