Confession by Lord Archive This has some dark and WAFF elements to it. Characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Communication, and some other companies. Used without permission. I'll return them, I can only stand to be hit by a mallet so many times. *>WHAM<* "Archive no baka!" Ite! ----------------------------- Ranma sighed. He glanced at his strangely withdrawn fiancee. Akane was lost in thought as she trudged up the mountain alongside her fiance. She knew very well what her father hoped they would do during this trip, but she really doubted she could go through with THAT. She knew of an obstacle that prevented her from being that close to Ranma, one Ranma was unaware of. She sighed, realizing it was about time he did know. Alone in the woods would be the best place to tell him... She hoped. Akane really didn't want to tell him. It was something that could drive him away. She could lose him by telling him this. But if she didn't tell him and he found out after they were married, she wasn't sure they would stay married. The young Tendo girl stayed lost in her thoughts. She wanted to know if this was right decision. After what happened in China, she knew she never wanted to lose Ranma. She knew in her heart that their relationship needed to be built on trust and openness. Admittedly Akane was rather weak on those points, and by telling Ranma this, she would be open to him and it would be a large step towards fully trusting him. Akane sighed. If she told Ranma this, and he left, then perhaps they were never meant to be together in the first place. She looked at her fiance and decided that in order to get the best results, she would not fight with him for ANY reason. She didn't want to give anymore excuses for him to leave her. They found a good place to set up camp, and Ranma was rather happy that Akane let him cook dinner. Once finished, they sat through a silent meal. Ranma might not have been the most observant person, but he did notice something was bothering Akane. "Hey, what have ya done with Akane?" "What was that?" Akane asked, confused. "Well, you haven't been yourself since we left, and I'm starting to wonder if you are Akane," Ranma replied with a slight smirk. Akane's lips twitched slightly, whether from amusement or anger, Ranma couldn't tell. She then sighed. She looked down and said, "Ranma, there is something I need to tell you. I probably should've told you this a long time ago, but this is something I don't want anyone to know. I REALLY don't want to tell you, but it's something you have to know." Ranma became a little nervous. "Akane, if ya don't want to..." "Ranma, please. You have to know this. If there is any hope for us to truly be married, you have to know." Ranma audibly gulped. Akane looked away from Ranma, as if afraid to make eye contact now. "Have you ever wondered why I'm so violent, Daddy is so emotional, Nabiki so mercenary, and Kasumi so withdrawn?" "Um, yeah," Ranma replied, not sure if he should say more. "You probably think it's because of my mother's death, right?" Ranma nodded nervously. "That is part of the reason, but that's not entirely the reason. Something else happened shortly after mom died..." Akane closed her eyes tightly as she began to tell Ranma with a shaking voice and a couple tears running down her face. "I was almost thirteen when my mother died. At the time Daddy practically moved into the dojo trying to find release from his pain in the art. Kasumi took mother's place, because no one else was available. Nabiki stayed in her room and cried. I, however, went everywhere that reminded me of my mother. That proved to be the biggest mistake of my life. "About a month after mom died, I went to the small park a block away from home. Mom took me there almost weekly while I was growing up. I sat in the my favorite swing, and cried. All I wanted at that moment was to feel my mother's gentle hands push me in the swing like she had done so many time before. But, as much as I wished it, I knew she would never be able to push me in that swing again. "It wasn't until I noticed the street lights turning on that I realized how late it was. I knew I had to rush home for dinner, not because I was hungry but because I didn't want anyone to worry. So I left the park for home..." Akane's voice suddenly cracked. "I only made it half-way there... I was stopped by two guys. They had to be no older sixteen or seventeen at the time. They asked why I was in such a hurry, why I was out so late... and asked if I wanted their company that night." Ranma stared at Akane in shock. Akane's tears streamed down her face, and her voice was registering on the Richter scale. "Of course all I wanted was to go home. But-but... they... grabbed me and... carried me..." "...And when they brought me to a deserted house... they r-ripped off my c-clothes and... r-r-raped me." Ranma looked at Akane as she cried into her hands, unable to speak. He didn't know what to think. Akane, his fiancee, had been raped as a child. If he ever found them, he'd kill them... slowly. Ranma continued to stare at her. Akane wasn't a virgin. She had sex with a guy. True it was rape, but he wouldn't lose any honor now if he refused to marry her. Akane's entire body shook as she cried, and Ranma couldn't take seeing her like that. She needed to be comforted somehow. He approached her, but then got an idea when he saw their drinking water. Minutes later Akane's crying lessened and she realized she'd been crying into female Ranma's shoulder, and that Ranma was hugging her. "R-Ranma?" Ranma wasn't sure what to say. "Are you okay now, Akane?" "Um, I guess. How come you're a girl? I thought you'd react differently than this." Akane didn't move from Ranma's embrace. Ranma took a deep breath. "Well, after what you just said, I thought that you might not want to be touched by a guy at the moment... and I'm still trying to figure out how I should react. I-I've never had to deal with anything like this. All I know is if I ever get my hands on those bastards that did that to you, they will die." Akane smiled slightly. "Well, someone beat you to it. They were found dead a couple weeks later, but not before they raped and killed Kuno's mother. The police think the Kunos know who killed them, but they have never given any information." Something bothered Ranma for a second, and then he thought of what it might be. "That happened over three years ago, right?" Akane nodded. "Isn't that when Principal Kuno decided to take a long Hawaiian vacation? You don't suppose he killed them?" "Wouldn't surprise me if he did." "Great," Ranma mumbled. "Now I'm suppose to be grateful to that lunatic." She sighed. "I wish when Dr. Tofu had warned me against trying to become intimate with you, he told me why." "What do you mean Dr. Tofu warned you?" Akane asked, pulling away from Ranma's embrace. "Akane, he told me that something in your past had made you angry and afraid of intimacy. If I tried to seduce you, you might've tried to kill me and it would've killed any chances of us getting married. He told me that any, ah, intimacies should be started by you." "I doubt I would've tried to kill you," Akane muttered. "What about when I was under the effects of Shampoo's mushrooms? You tried to turn me into a pin-cushion with a bow and arrows because I hugged you." "So I over-reacted," Akane said sheepishly. "Why didn't you ask me about why Dr. Tofu warned you against seducing me?" "Because Dr. Tofu said that you needed to talk to someone about it, but the problem was you had to be the one to start talking about it. How many times have you talked about it since it happened?" Akane looked down and closed her eyes. "Um, once... to the police officers and Dr. Tofu. I never even told my family about it, Dr. Tofu did. I never felt comfortable enough around anyone in my family to talk about it to them. I considered Dr. Tofu, but with the crush I had on him before it happened and how helpful he was afterwards, I couldn't bring myself to talk about that to him... to remind him I was no longer pure and innocent." "How come you never talked to your family about it?" Akane sighed and gazed into the campfire. "After it happened, I went into the dojo determined that no guy would ever touch me again. Dad tried to teach me, but he couldn't bear to look at me. He went into his room and started to emotionally break down. I thought for a while it was because he was ashamed of me, that he didn't love me anymore. I later found out that while he was ashamed, he wasn't ashamed of me, but himself since he'd failed to protect both me and my mother. "Kasumi couldn't believe the world could hold such things as parents dying on young children and rapists, so she began her slide into obliviousness. One of the reasons I've been so angry with you was because with your curse and all the insanity that happened around you, it strengthened her retreat from seeing the world as it is. "Nabiki also looked at the injustice of it all, and went the other route. Do onto others before they do it to you. If the world wasn't going to be kind to her and her family, she saw no need to be kind to the world." Akane sighed. "Then there was my reaction. I was angry. Angry at the world, and angry at myself. How could that happen to me, to anyone?! I'm the daughter of a great martial artist, I should've been able to defend myself! But it did happen to me, and I never really came to terms with it. The only reason I'm even facing it now is because of you. I doubt I'll graduate high school as Tendo Akane, and if we do get married I will have to do something that I've associated with the worst part of my life." "Akane, you never HAVE to do THAT if you don't want to," Ranma said, red faced. Akane shook her head. "Trust me, it is something I want to do... eventually. It's just I'm afraid that it'll disgust me like it had then. Besides, what good is being married if you don't, ah, consummate it." Her face took a crimson hue. "Um, how come you wanted to marry me when we got back from China?" Akane sighed. "I was still recovering from what happened in China. I nearly died, and it scared me. I realized either of us could die at any time. I didn't want to take the chance of losing you, so I went along with Daddy's plan. Because I knew you love me, and don't you dare deny it, I would've married you in every way... Even if I would be uncomfortable about some of it." Ranma smiled a little. "Well, part of the reason I denied it then was because I was afraid you weren't ready." "Oh? What were the rest of the reasons?" Ranma laughed nervously. "Well, I guess you could say cold feet. Anyway, how come you never talked about it to a friend?" "I did think of telling Sayuri and Yuka, but I doubt they would've understood. They were twelve at the time. How are they supposed to have a clue what I was going through? Hell, most adults don't have a clue about what I went through. Being raped is a violation that words can NOT describe. The sheer lack of control, lack of..." "...Justice, complete wrongness, the tearing of your soul, how you feel somehow worthless," Ranma interrupted Akane and continued on. Akane's eyes widen in shock. "Y-you w-were..." Ranma turned her head not wanting to look at Akane at that moment. "No. I'm actually referring to what I feel sometimes about my curse. It robs me of control of my life. It's a terrible punishment onto me for a crime of just being somewhere I shouldn't have been. There are times I turn into a girl and feel a piece of me has died." "I-I never thought about your curse that way." Akane looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry. I should've known better than anyone what you were going through, but I refused to think about your problems... just mine." Her tears once again rolled down her cheeks. "Akane, it's all right. I understand that you didn't want to face it. When Dr. Tofu compared my curse to being raped, I didn't want to face my curse. Eventually I was somewhat willing to face my curse, you weren't willing to face your past yet. I've largely come to terms with what I am now, and can help you face your past." Akane smiled. "Thank you, Ranma." She wanted to say more, but words seemed inadequate for what she wanted to say. "It's getting late. We should get some sleep." Ranma wiped a couple tears from Akane's face. "Are you going to be all right?" Akane nodded. "Yes. I think so." She then decided on something she thought about on to the way the camp sight. "Um, Ranma, while I may not be, um, ready to make love to you yet, I was thinking..." "What is it?" "Well, could we, um, sleep sort of together? If I get used to your presence, it should help me be ready sooner." Ranma looked at Akane and, after a long moment, answered, "If it's what you want." Akane nodded. Ranma turned back into a guy and went into the same tent Akane did. After joining their sleeping bags, they crawled into bed. Shortly after saying their goodnights, Akane fell asleep. Hours later Ranma was still awake and was surprised to note that Akane seemed to be at peace, and wasn't thrashing around at night like he'd seen her do in the past. He stared at Akane, unable to find sleep. There was always something about Akane that made Ranma nervous. Not the same nervousness that Shampoo generated, which was more of fear, but of uncertainty. Uncertain of how he felt about the girl asleep in his arms. He wondered why he put up with her, with her anger, and now with the fact she wasn't 'pure.' He could only come up with one answer. "I guess I do love you," Ranma whispered, and it somehow sounded right. He fell asleep shortly afterwards. ----------------------- Author's Notes: I didn't do a flash back scene for what happened because Akane was only go over what happened- she didn't give details. She didn't relive the moments in her memory, she just told them. When Mrs. Tendo died is, to my knowledge, never stated in the manga series. (If a reference of 10 years ago is made, that doesn't count since that appears to mean a long time ago.) The idea is actually an old one that came to me after reading a story that it was Kasumi that was raped as a child and told Ranma about it. The first thought I had about it was that it was plausible. The second thought is that if it happened to anyone in Ranma, it would be Akane. There is even canonical evidence to support it: In manga vol 10 (11 in Japanese) Shampoo's mushroom story: After Kasumi implied Ranma might try to seduce Akane, her watching a movie with an implied date rape scene, and Ranma hugging her- Akane tried to pound Ranma into paste with a mallet and a bokken and to turn him into a pin cushion with a bow and arrows (a bit excessive if you ask me). Numerous other times Akane overreacts to Ranma appearing overly amorous. Such as Ranma sneaking into her room to deal with P-Chan. The real reason why Akane hates boys, with only Dr. Tofu as the exception when Ranma arrives. Why Akane seems to be more comfortable around female Ranma. Why Akane thrashes around at night. Why Soun still tried to get Ranma to marry Akane, even after finding out Ranma has no honor due to multiple engagements (among other things). Why does she trust Ryoga? Because besides trying to kill Ranma, he's always tried to protect her and has not tried to make a move on her of his own accord. (That's Akane's POV not the readers'.) Her refusal to see him otherwise shows a possible defense mechanism. Why did she consider falling in love with Shinnosuke? Because it was her fault he was dying. The shame of being responsible for someone's death out-weighed the shame of being raped. Also, given his weakened state and imminent death [or so she thought], she would be unlikely to have to "perform" more than once, if that. What about the Battle Dougi? First off while the suit implies it can only be used by a virgin, but that isn't how it's stated. Ranma was suppose to seduce Akane to show she's in love with someone else. Prior sexual knowledge without love, may not trigger 'Dou-chan's' jealousy. Second, Ranma wanted to get rid of the Dougi, so he sort of forgot Dr. Tofu's warning about seducing Akane. (The Dougi is a magical, intelligent battlesuit with near Happosai level perversion and it makes Akane stronger than Ranma when worn. The two means to defeat the Dougi wearer (who must be female) is to either hit the yin-yang button or that the owner's heart obviously belongs to someone else.)