Girl
Days
Part Nine
By Kenko
Girl Days
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction
by Robert Haynie
(And it's silly disclaimer thing goes here time again!)
Part Nine: Back to School
School starts tomorrow.
For Ranma Saotome those three words were more filled with horror than the entire body of the works of Lovecraft, King, and Barker combined. Her first day of attending school as a girl under the Girl Days training was something she was NOT looking forward to.
It wasn't so much school as such, really, but rather the reactions of her classmates. That was likely to be chaotic. She wasn't sure which she was looking forward to the least-- the reactions of the boys or those of the girls.
Right now she was so nervous she could hardly even concentrate on the sundae in front of her. Which, for Ranma, was a sure sign of trouble.
Akane looked at her fiance-- or was that fiancee at the moment?-- and sighed. "Ranma, it'll be all right. Just relax."
"Sure it will. The moment I hit that locker room I'm a dead man. Woman. Whatever."
"I've been talking with Yuka and Sayuri, they're going to help. Besides, there's not much way around it..."
"I'd love to find a way..."
"Konnichiwa, Akane-chan!" a female voice chimed. Akane looked up, and smiled. "Here they are now, Ranma..."
Yuka and Sayuri took seats next to the two girls. And started to carefully scrutinize Ranma. "Wow, you really are wearing a dress," Yuka said.
"I know. I know."
"Those earrings are really nice, Ranma," added Sayuri.
"Um, thanks..."
"I like the ponytail. You look so kawaii with that style, and that blue bow," noted Yuka.
"Kawaii isn't my favorite word right now," Ranma groused, thinking back to her bout with her period. And was very very happy that it was over for now...
"Where did you buy those shoes? I want a pair like--"
"Sayuri, Yuka, we're supposed to be working on the introduction of Ranma into school society, remember?"
The two nodded. "We've been checking out the wind, so to speak. Actually, most of the girls we talked to after that fight aren't really worried about Ranma, even in the locker room. They figure that if she can wear an outfit like the one she did in public, she's got to be a lot more feminine than they thought," said Yuka.
Sayuri nodded. "Besides, I think a couple of them want to splash her with something hot to get a peek at HIS body. I don't think they know that that's not going to work..."
Ranma blinked. "What-- a girl wouldn't do that, would she?"
Akane groaned. To her personal disgust, she knew of a couple of girls who would cheerfully do just that. "Ranma... not all perverts are boys..." (Just like not all boys are perverts), she mused.
"Anyhow," continued Sayuri, "There's a bit of expectation that maybe Ranma will join one of the girls teams this term. Rhythmic Gymnastics and Karate are the two that people are betting most on, although someone wondered if she'd go for the girl's Kendo team..."
"Yeah, right. Can you see me waving a bokken around that don't have Kuno on the other end?"
The other's giggled a bit at that. "I don't know," added Akane, "Maybe you can also get a nifty nickname and learn some speechmaking?"
"You have no idea how much that would encourage Kuno, do you?"
"Ranma Saotome, the Red Tigress of Furinkan High!" giggled Sayuri. Yuka paused, and added, "No, that kendo gear would hide Ranma-chan's figure too much..."
"You guys ain't helping any..."
"I wish I had the nerve to wear an outfit like that one from your fight, Ranma-chan," added Sayuri. "You looked so cool in it..."
"Why does every girl in Nerima suddenly want to dress like me?" wondered Ranma.
"Well, you DID look cool, Ranma," Yuka said. "Besides, it's kind of we wish we had your nerve... I'd die if anyone saw me wear that, but... I'd kind of like to try to, once."
Ranma shook her head. Even if she WAS one at the moment, she would NEVER understand girls. What was so special about her leathers?
Then she really thought about how she looked in them. And blushed so furiously she looked a lot like a female apple.
"Um... those are just for fighting, you know? And they help keep the opponent off balance..."
"Oooh, he was off balance all right! Did you see the way he was staring at your--"
"Sayuri! Honestly!" Akane protested.
"Well, he WAS," interjected Yuka. "Almost every boy there was. I don't think they could help it."
"Almost every boy?" Sayuri noted, quizzically.
"Well, some were looking at her rear more... those shorts are pretty tight, after all, and there's not a lot to them, and..."
Ranma buried her head in her hands and groaned. This was like listening to a female version of Daisuke and Hiroshi.
Akane, for once, was thinking VERY seriously about beating the hell out of her friends, instead of Ranma. She restrained herself with an effort, and said, "I don't suppose we can get back to the matter at hand, could we?"
And plans were made...
####
"I HATE this uniform."
Somehow Ranma looked like a totally different girl when in the Furinkan blouse and jumper combo. An overly ordinary schoolgirl. A, at the moment, very very pissed ordinary schoolgirl.
She adjusted the straps on her jumper, checked her hair-bow, and sighed. At least it fit. She tugged at the bloomers she was wearing under the skirt-- needful if she was going to go to school in her accustomed manner-- to adjust them, and grabbed her bookbag.
After a quick breakfast, she and Akane passed by the pandafied Genma (who had once again discovered that his daughter was dangerous in the mornings) and skipped to the top of the fence. Ranma walked on with her usual confidence, Akane following after a little wobbly but proudly.
Akane was, in fact, improving a lot under Ranma's tutelage. And it tended to be an education.
Ranma had indeed begun with what SHE considered the basics. How to fall. Akane had thought she knew how to fall-- that was, after all, the first lesson in nearly any martial art.
Ranma, she discovered, meant how to fall off a roof. The Saotome-ryu was, after all, a midair art-- and Ranma meant Akane to start hitting the midair.
Jumping was also weird. Ranma would say strange and hard to understand things about focusing chi and jumping with the heart, not the legs, and it never made any sense-- if she thought about it.
But-- if she didn't think about it-- she could now jump eight feet straight up. Nothing like Ranma could-- yet-- but her sensei said that she would soon enough. Ranma said that she'd be roofhopping and the like with the best of them.
Akane wasn't sure she liked that part. Would she find herself getting as weird as the major players? Did she really WANT to get to the levels that Ranma was teaching her?
For all she knew Ranma would start her on some really weird training next. Something scary. Something... that would make her like Ranma.
She had a vision of herself in Ranma's Chinese clothes again, fighting off multiple fiancés, while a bandanna wearing girl was attacking her with a pink parasol and screaming about ruining her happiness.
NOT fun.
Ash, they were close to the school now... she could stop thinking about that sort of thing. She hoped she could, anyhow.
And there he was-- they hadn't dodged him after all. Nerima's number one poster child for the terminally deluded. Tatewaki Kuno.
Who was, at the moment, not noticing them.
Instead, he was suspiciously examining many many inanimate objects, trying to determine if the Sorcerer Saotome was inside one of them.
Kuno's firm conviction that Tsubasa was actually Ranma had begin to take on new levels of lunacy. Anything-- ANYTHING-- could be the hated foe. There were threats from furniture, street signs, machines-- the demon could be anything!
Ranma and Akane passed by Kuno, who was at the moment poking an innocent fire hydrant with his bokken, and went to the one place Ranma never really expected to go-- willingly, that was. The GIRLS locker room.
Sayuri and Yuka were waiting for them along with a couple of girls who wanted to actually see a female Ranma enter. Ranma began to feel very very nervous. Understandably.
She skinned off the bloomers and slipped on more comfortable underwear without lifting her skirt. It was, to her... disturbing. The new girls stared at the fact that Ranma was actually going to wear panties. That, if nothing else, suggested that the Girl Days thing was the truth and not just some plot to start peeping.
Then again, if Akane was okay with it, it HAD to be true. The concept of Akane helping a boy-- ANY boy-- to indulge in perverse practices was, well, inconceivable.
It didn't make them completely trustful-- but it did suggest that things weren't as bad as they might have feared.
As Ranma and Akane left the locker room, gossip began...
####
"Nihao, Ranma!"
(Oh, joy. Shampoo. And it's not even lunchtime, and... and... what the HELL?)
Shampoo stood there, in a Furinkan uniform, her hair trimmed with wide red bows instead of the usual Amazon ornaments. "Shampoo go to school! Hibachan say if Ranma go, and Akane go, and Ukyo go, then why not Shampoo go?"
"She did, did she?" Akane said, evenly.
"She say Shampoo have accent. Not understand, no use MSG at Nekohanten, but if Hibachan say so..."
"I see." Akane supposed that might be PART of the reason, but she was pretty darn certain that Cologne was also still planning to entrap Ranma. And anyhow, with Shampoo in class she could keep an eye on her. Then again, half the population of the school was already keeping an eye on her.
Shampoo had altered her skirt to the shortest anyone could get away with, and her jumper fit just a little too snugly for proper school attire. And there wasn't a single boy in class that hadn't noticed it.
"Whoa-- first Ranma and now this girl!"
"Man, she's a fox!"
"Damn, but she talks cute!"
"Look at those legs!"
"I wonder if she's a aquatransexual also?"
Many many boys suddenly turned green. THAT would make perfect sense.
"I know her," said Daisuke. "She's Shampoo. Trust me, might not be a good idea to bother her."
"They won't listen, Dai," noted Hiroshi. "After all, if we didn't know about her, would we listen?"
"Good point. Wonder how Ranma's feeling right now? He's got to be in pain..."
"Naw, I talked to HER yesterday, and she says she's adapting. Even likes it a little bit at times."
"Hmm....."
"But she's not going to go out with you, Dai. "
"You are no fun."
"Not when I'm thinking about keeping my arms and legs attached to me, I'm not... Hey, there's proof there. I think that guy's about to try to pat Ranma's--"
Sudden screams of pain erupted from nearby.
"Whoa, that was intense."
"You got it, Hiroshi... wonder where Ranma got the mallet?"
"I ain't gonna ask her. Let's get to class."
####
Hinako-sensei stared at her seating chart, then at Ranma, then at her seating chart, then at Ranma, then... her 'lil kawaii head was beginning to hurt.
"You're CERTAIN this isn't something delinquent, Ranma?"
"No, Sensei. It's part of special training to face my femininity with masculine determination."
Hinako looked uncertain. But so far, Ranma hadn't done anything wrong-- except inasmuch as being in class in female form in a girl's uniform while sitting properly at her desk was wrong. Akane sat to one side of her, keeping an eye on certain new students who were eyeing her fiancé speculatively-- especially the one with purple hair.
Ukyo-kun sighed. Her hopes to eventually enchant Ranma with her true devotion were even more complicated by Shampoo's sudden attendance at Furinkan. And there was going to be the usual problems with new female students hitting on what they thought was an exceedingly handsome boy. Well, that was nothing new...
Ranma toyed with her ponytail and sensed that something would happen soon. Something bad, something dangerous, and most certainly something stupid.
And Ranma froze as she checked out her course mix for the term. Something stupid already happened...
Because she had the course mix for female students. Home economics. Literature. Family... she really didn't like this at all.
"Well, if that's the, ah, case, Ranma, I suppose-- you look very uncomfortable. Do you need to go to the nurses' office?"
"No, Sensei."
Hinako paused for a moment, and then added, "Well, would you go for me while I take roll? She's got these yummy lollipops in and I really really really want one... Please, Ranma, don't bang your head on your desk like that. You could break it and it's not ladylike..."
####
Home Economics. Cooking, cleaning, sewing, washing, keeping a household budget. Except for the budget part, Ranma already knew how to do it all. Except for the cooking part, Akane was decent at these things also.
It was Akane's fourth term straight in Home Ec. Not because she had to-- she'd done well enough on the rest of the course to pass the previous times-- but because of sheer bloodymindedness. She was going to learn to cook SOMETHING besides a salad or a sandwich.
Of course, this term her partner was Ranma. Her past partners had just smiled and gulped when she went to cooking. Ranma, who had to live with the results, had a different agenda. As in, MAKE her learn better.
"That's baking soda, not flour."
"Oh?"
"That's sesame oil, not corn oil."
"Is there a difference?"
"Oh, yes. No, not peppers. You don't put hot peppers in tempura batter..."
"But they look so colorful?"
"Arrgh."
"Let me guess, you really really want to insult me, don't you?" A slight sigh.
"You have no idea... look, just match the ingredients to the recipe, exactly."
"Oh-- you mean that's important? I sort of thought it was more of a suggestion..."
(She can't possibly be serious-- oh, yes she can. This is gonna be a LONG term.)
Akane got,for once, a passing 70 on her tempura. Ranma got a 90 on hers, and would have had a 95, but Akane had passed her the salt when she'd asked for sugar...
####
"This boring."
"It's also all your fault."
"For once I agree with Ranma. You don't call the teacher a idiotic male waste in class, you know."
"And did you have to drag the rest of us into the argument? I mean, honestly, who cares if there were no female emperor's in Japanese History anyway?"
"Should have been. Why hold buckets anyway?"
"Ranchan, you explain it this time..."
And Ranma tried to explain bucket duty to Shampoo while Akane and Ukyo fumed.
####
"The square root of seven? Tokugawa Ieyeisu? Admiral Perry? The Brady Bunch? A dead frog?"
"**sigh** No, Miss Saotome."
"Shampoo think Brady Bunch close?"
A teacher groaned. Like many others.
####
Lunchtime. Sweet release for a short while.
Ranma sat under a tree, sighed, and smoothed her skirt. She then opened her new lunch bento (wrapped in what was becoming her signature motif-- a large hurosiki (kerchief) decorated with horses) and sighed in satisfaction. Nodoka, deciding to be a good mother had beaten Akane to making lunch that day.
She looked up to see with some surprise Yuka and Sayuri standing there. "Mind if we eat with you, Ranma?" asked Sayuri.
"Um, no, not at all... although you usually eat with Akane, right?"
"Well, we saw you alone, and besides, Akane's with Ukyo trying to explain a few things to Shampoo about school. We were half expecting you to be with Daisuke and Hiroshi, but..."
"They don't feel... comfortable with it. Boys usually hang with boys, and girls with girls, and they aren't certain which I am right now. (And sometimes I'm not either.) Besides, it looks wrong kinda since girls usually only eat with a boy if they're interested in them... which I ain't."
The other two nodded. "Oh, what a cute hurosiki! You like horses, Ranma-chan?" Yuka enthused.
"I AM a horse, remember?"
Sayuri giggled. "She got you there. Like the socks, too. Guess horses are your trademark now, Ranma? That and leather shorts."
"I told you, that's only for fights--"
"Just kidding. Hmm... not very kawaii a filling, though..."
"Huh?"
Yuka nodded. "You mom may be teaching you how to be a female, but she don't know much about being a girl. You should have a cuter lunch, really. And the bento box itself is kind of plain..."
"Well, I'm a tomboy after all," Ranma joked. "More concerned with the quantity and quality of the food than the looks of it. Which reminds me--" and she began to eat in the peculiar high speed but ladylike fashion she'd now mastered.
"Why do you eat so fast, Ranma? I've always wondered," asked Yuka.
Ranma paused. "Well, I kinda had to fight Pop for meals most of my life, if you don't eat fast around him you don't get a lot of food. So it's a habit."
Sayuri gasped. "You had to fight your father for food?"
"Well, he called it training. Of course, he called every stupid thing he ever did training. That or an understandable error. Pop's got a unique value system."
"I... see."
Ranma ate some more. "Hey, gotta say it's not been as bad as I thought it was going to be. Guess the iron test comes when gym class starts..."
"Oh, that reminds me, I have some notes people gave me to give you," said Sayuri.
"Notes?" Usually the only notes she got were from Ukyo, Akane, Daisuke or Hiroshi. These didn't look like any of those-- and certainly not though Sayuri as a go-between.
"Hai. People know that we're supposed to be helping you. So, are they personal?"
"Not really. Two from girls warning me to behave myself. Two from girls asking me why I'm doing this horrible thing-- I think they're interested in my guy form. One from a guy asking-- hmm. Have to pound the jerk later."
"That was Enzo."
"Good, want to make certain I pound the right guy."
"Why pound him?" asked Yuka.
Ranma passed the note to the girl, who read it and began to grow rather pink. "That... that pervert! How can he ask you to take notes on the locker room so he can figure out where to bore a hole?"
"Guy OR girl, I'd never do that. I just wish I knew why this idiot thought I would. Anyhow, in feminine solidarity or something like that I guess I'll have to pound him."
"Pound who, Ranma?" said Akane as she walked up.
A note was explained. For a moment Akane started to get angry at her usual target-- i.e. Ranma-- but realized that she'd never do that. Besides, it was obvious that Sayuri and Yuka were busy suggesting the best places for Ranma to pound the errant Enzo-- Sayuri suggesting geography, and Yuka body parts. And Ranma was nodding and taking notes.
"Ranma, it's your first day at school as a girl, and you shouldn't have to stress yourself so soon after-- you know. So I'll pound him. I have long experience with pounding perverts, anyhow."
"Naw-- he's not only insulted every girl in school AND been a real perv with this, but he's also personally insulted me by thinking I'd ever do anything like that. Or that I'm stupid enough not to realize he'd be peeping on me also... so it's a matter of personal honor. Anyway, I'm finished with lunch so I'll just go talk to him about this note..."
A short while later a terrified Enzo was fleeing a rapidly closing Ranma. Hinako started towards the pair, coin in hand, muttering "delinquents" under her breath when Akane stopped and explained Ranma's actions. Hinako's eyes widened. And then she shocked most of the student body by yelling, uncharacteristically, "Go GET that little weasel, Ranma! You can come late to class if you need the time!"
After all, she might have been a chi-draining age-shfiting energy vampire-- but she was a girl too.
####
Class resumed. Ranma was slightly mussed from the chase. Enzo had a black eye. Most of the girls had learned through the grapevine of Enzo's plan and were redefining glare. Well, those that weren't looking at Ranma with new respect.
That new respect was manifested as Ranma went, with considerable nervousness, to change for gym-- expecting scorn, or mistrust, or hot water, or screams, or anything than what she received.
"Oh, Hi, Ranma-chan."
"Hey, thanks for that thing with Enzo. I knew he was a pervert, but to ask a girl to do that... disgusting."
"Which clubs are you joining this term, Ranma?"
Acceptance?
They were undressing without staring at her? Without killing glares? Without whispers of "pervert" or "freak"?
They were actually treating her like another girl? What the HELL was going on?!?
And Akane grinned and said, "Congratulations, Ranma-chan. You're in."
Ranma started to change-- a lot more apparently nervous than the girls around her-- and shook her head. Sometimes life was just too weird.
####
Softball. Oh, she remembered softball very well from her early days at Furinkan. As in one delivered at high speed into her face once.
But she'd never thought she'd be playing it with a pack of other girls. With Shampoo on the other team pitching. Life was weird.
As she swung the bat she realized that Shampoo didn't QUITE understand the game yet. The volley of at least a dozen balls flying towards her said that. Once again, Shampoo had approached a normal Japanese pastime with a unique Amazon slant.
What was to become the first Anything Goes Martial Arts Softball game began.
Ranma stared for a second at the barrage of ovoids, and then said-- very quickly-- "Tenshin Amaguriken Revised-- Chestnut Roasting batting technique!" Her bat became a flurry of motion.
Her team gawked-- and so did the other-- as the various balls went flying in all directions. The umpire shrugged, and said, "Well, none were fouls..."
As the outfield scrambled to try to catch way too many softballs, Ranma began to run the bases. Then she started to dodge the many attempt to tag her out.
Hiroshi and Daisuke were, as their wont was, watching the girl in their tight-fitting bloomers playing. This time, instead of casually leering and commenting on how cute this or that one was, they were laughing hysterically as Ranma leaped, ducked, and basically wove a complex path from base to base, avoiding the many attempts to tag her. Being Ranma, it was a home run-- but not the simple one that most had expected.
A little later, the teams switched. Akane was pitching. As Shampoo came up to bat, the Amazon grimaced at the unfamiliar tool.
"Strike one!"
Shampoo growled. Akane smirked.
"Strike Two!"
Shampoo FUMED. Akane smirked LOTS.
As Akane threw her third pitch, Shampoo snorted, tossed the bat away, produced one of her bonbori, and swung--
CLANG!
The umpire paused. Then she reached for her rulebook, to see if there was any rules about how to call a softball half-embedded in the business end of a bonbori. "Um... Srtike Two and a half?"
As both Shampoo and Akane blushed in chagrin, Ranma keeled over laughing. Since most of the other girls did the same, she was spared Akane's anger.
"Shampoo just have to learn bat, guess. Try again?" the Amazon said, picking the bat up.
This time Shampoo connected. The ball sailed straight-- of course-- for Ranma.
As she prepared to catch it-- easy pop fly, easy out--
"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!"
(Aw... CRAP. Why NOW?)
"THIS time, witch, you WILL tell me where my Ranma-sama has goog."
Ranma blinked. Goog? Where she'd goog?
And turned around to see the leotard wearing Kodachi standing with a mouth full of softball.
As the Black Rose fumed at this most preposterous of humiliations, a heated argument began between the two team captains. Ranma's captain insisted that the ball had been caught on a pop-fly, so Shampoo was out. Shampoo's captain insisted that Kodachi wasn't on the team, wasn't in the game, and wasn't even in the school, so the ball was live. The umpire was beating her head against a tree and saying something about moving to Australia.
Then Shampoo started yelling at Kodachi for getting in the way of the game.
Akane started yelling at Shampoo about her aim.
Kodachi tried to yell but her mouth was occupied. By a softball.
Ukyo passed by and started yelling that she wanted to know just what in hell was going on here.
Kuno appeared, yelling on general principles.
Gosunkugi didn't yell, but he did start taking snapshots of Akane.
Various other girls started yelling because, well, everyone else was and they didn't want to feel left out.
The only one not yelling was Ranma.
She was just staring. And feeling frustrated.
So she walked up to the tree, gently moved the umpire to one side, and punched it to let off a little steam.
The tree screamed in agony.
Everyone froze. And then Kuno screamed, "SAOTOME!"
Yelling degraded to brawling.
Kuno chased the tree-- and yes, it WAS Tsubasa-- around the softball diamond.
Ukyo joined Kuno.
Shampoo started to chase Ukyo on general principles, yelling that she wanted to know what was going on.
Akane fumed in the middle of the diamond.
Kodachi tried to remove the softball without success.
Ranma just stared, feeling very much that at any moment Rod Serling would come out to explain something. Although she doubted that the American would be very good at it.
Tsubasa-tree, in his mad dash, stepped on Gosunkugi's foot. Said voodoo-priest wannabe yelped in pain and anger, and somehow managed to pull four lit candles and a hatamaki out of his pocket, tie them on, and started chasing the tree with a small mallet and a straw doll with the obvious intent of pounding it in.
By now, everyone who wasn't chasing the tree was yelling at it, with the exception of Ranma, who was in a state of mild shock, and Akane, who was in a state of extreme fury. She HATED being angry when she wasn't sure who to be angry at.
Kodachi, only noticing that the main focus of exertion seemed to be a rapidly moving tree, continued to try to remove the softball with one hand while whipping out her ribbon with the other and using it to grab any convenient object.
The convenient object was Gosunkugi. She launched the spooky boy at the tree-- and Gosunkugi, scared out of his wits, landed in the branches. He slipped, and desperately tried to hang on with his knees. He actually succeeded.
Then he saw his opportunity. He raised his hammer, positioned the nail, readied the doll...
WHAMP!
"YYYYEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!"
And a pink-frocked Tsubasa shot straight out of the top of the tree like a cork out of a champagne bottle, rubbing his butt the whole way.
Four boys raised signs, reading 10, 10, 10, and 6.5 (He was the Rumanian judge).
Tex Avery passed by, and nodded, saying "Good hang time on that girl."
Kuno stared, and then embraced Gosunkugi, saying that as lowly as he was, his noble blow against the sorcerer suggested that the pale lad had potential after all.
Gosunkugi was glowing over his victory over what he knew to be a dryad.
Kodachi tried to say something but was still eating leather.
Shampoo stared in dull amazement.
Ukyo, laughing, gave Gosunkugi a peck on the cheek and a coupon for a week's free okonomiyaki.
Akane went off to find some bricks to break. And Ranma...
Just sat and started shaking in helpless laughter.
####
"How was school, dear?"
"Not so bad, Mom. I can handle a month of this."
"Um... I'm afraid I have bad news. The school principal called-- he said that if you started the term as a girl, you'll have to finish it as one... and something about pineapples."
"The principal's a Kuno, Mom, and he makes this stuff up."
"Ranma, you will have to respect authority, so we have no-- a Kuno?"
"Yup."
"Anything like that Tatewaki boy?"
Ranma explained Principal Kuno.
"Ah. Never mind, then. You won't have to unless it's a Girl Day. Oh, and during gym. I'm afraid that the schedule can't be changed... I know that's hard on you, but..."
"Actually, Mom... it might not be..."
####