Moon Park X by LinLin the Terrible... Writers notes: This is a parody of Sailor Moon as crossed with South Park. In case you've never seen it, South Park is an adult cartoon about foulmouthed children who live in a twon called Sout Park. It is bawdy, vulgar, and has a lot of controversial meterial in it. ^_^ This was written as a humerous crossover for Adult Sailor Moon fans... This story was not written to offend anyone, nor is it meant to make a statement about society, especially in regards to lesbian relations. The author does not present this story with opinion implanted in it. On the contrary, this story is total bull ca-ca... Hence....with that in mind....By reading beyond this point, you waive any rights to complain, whine, bitch, or otherwise, verbally assault me for this story. It is for humour sakes only. And it is not meant as a political commentary. If you are afriad of being offended bu mention of controversial issues being thrown off casually, vulgar language, and blatant sexual language used by the girls of Sailor Moon.... THEN DON"T READ THIS.... If you agree that you are willing to read without having a coronary...then continue.... ============================================================================== ======== Scene opens with super-deformed versions of the five sailor scouts walking to school one day.... All: Here we are...off to school...off to learn the golden rule... Usagi: You know...I think the golden rule sucks... Makoto: Yeah...it bites.... Rei: Usagi, you suck! Usagi: Fuck you, you crabby whore... Rei: I AM NOT A CRABBY WHORE, you fuckin' piece of cowtail bitch! Usagi: Eat shit temple blower... Rei: Goddammit! I am NOT a temple blower Usagi: Yes you are Queen Bitch! Minako: Yeah, what is it that you're so fired up to do each night at the temple anyways? Ami(Face pressed in a Book): Hmmm..mmmm..nnnnn.mmmmmm..hmmm. Rei: Fuck you! I don't do those things....and leave my Granpa out of this conversation... Makoto: Usagi, what's wrong. You look unhappy today.... Usagi: Oh it's my little brother. He keeps ratting on me and getting my parents to give me shit all the time. I can spend any time with Momaru anymore, and all because of him.... Minako: That sucks girl... Makoto: Majorly Ami: Mmmmmm...hmmmm..mmmmmm. Usagi: Nah, I'm grounded, so I can't even go over to Momaru's house to do that.... Rei: If it were me...I'd be saying...Hey..you...you little turd...stop fucking with my life, and putting on my brassiers ...and dating men..that I hate...and calling yourself Rapunzel.... All the girls just stand and stare at Rei in amazement or bewilderment for the next few minutes.... Finally... Usagi: Rei, What the HELL are you talking about? Rei: I'm just saying you're a whiny faerie that's all Usagi.... (Flash over to classroom...Miss Haruna is teaching. All the scouts are there, even the outer Senshi [don't ask...] On Miss Haruna's right pinky finger is a finger puppet of Sailor V...) Haruna: Okay, now everyone sit down like good little boys and girls before Misses Pinky has to get mad and kick all your asses into Outer Space... Haruka(whispering to Michiru): Like to see her try... Haruna: What was that Haruka-chan? Haruka: Nothing...I like to learn on the fly... Haruna: Oh...well...that's good then... Hotaru(mumbling): Dumb bitch... Misses Pinky: I heard that Miss Hotaru. Now go outside and slide up and down the frozen bannister. Hotaru(sighing): Yes ma'am... (exits with her head down) Makoto: Wow...that's her fourth time this week...that has got to start hurting... Haruna: Anyways... class, today we're going to review the theory of photon physics and how it relates to Molecular Cohesion.. Ami: Cool! Rei: Shut up Ami...I hate Science! Minako: But Dude! You hate everything.... Rei: Blow me bitch... Ami: I do not understand Blowjobs...why would a female human wish to deposit a man's reproductive juices into her digestive system... Rei: Ami, shut up! You wouldn't know a good blow job...if it slapped you across the fuckin' face...and spewed there... Haruna: Well whack my ass and call me Kinky..Isn't that nice. We want to study the Digestive system today in Biology. Okay we'll pick up on page 122 then... Usagi: Way to go, temple blower, now we've got more biology... Rei: Goddamit! I AM NOT A TEMPLEBLOWER.... Makoto: Girls, I think I may have come up with a way for us to get out this biology class today. Minako: Really! Rei: Hey..I like that! Usagi: Yeah...that's cool dude... What's the plan... Makoto: Oh, just watch. (turns to the teacher) Miss Haruna? Haruna: Yes Miss Makoto, what is it? Makoto: I had a...well I had kind of an...odd question about school codes.. Haruna: Well, come on, Out with it. Before Misses Pinky has to go over there and kick your ass... Makoto: Well.. I was just wondering...what is the school's official opinion on the status of Lesbian couples in the classsroom? Haruka & Michiru(shocked): What?!? Haruna: Oh my...I knew this would come up sooner or later. Children gather around, it's time for us to have a serious talk. All the kids group up at front of the class.... Haruna: Kids, you have to understand that lesbians, well lesbians are people... Haruka and Michiru(looking at eachother warmly): Yeah... Haruna: ...who are incredibly evil and sick and perverted, and who will probably be the first in line to be cast into hell by Satan himself... Haruka: You take that back, you neo-nazi slut! Haruna: Young lady, don't make Misses Pinky get up and break her foot off in your ass! Haruka: You try it, you left wing-John Birch worshipping Bitch! Students: Fight! Fight! Fight! Michiru: You know, we're humans too you know... Rei: Even if you do have incorrect equipment! Michiru: Hey! I don't have to take that kind of shit from a Templeblower like you.... Rei: Fuck you Fish-eater. I am not a goddamn templeblower! Michiru: Then stop repressing my people you fucking crabby slut! Rei: Fucking Bitch! Students: Fight! Fight! Fight! Haruna: Haruka, take your pet, and go home to your Butch home! Haruka: You stereo-typing slut-butt-hole licker! I'm gonna fuck you up NOW! Haruka transforms into Sailor Uranus and begins to attack Haruna with her sword Students: Fight! Fight! Fight! Makoto: Okay...girls...nows the time to get going...while everyone's distracted.. Usagi, Rei, Minako & Ami: Right! The five depart as the rest of the students form a circle around the sparring duo Rei (As they walk out of the school): Whoah! Sure nice to be out of there... Usagi: Yeah, biology sucks... They walk by Hotaru who is sitting straddled on an iron stairway bannister. She is frozen to the spot... Usagi: Hotaru! How's it goin'? Hotaru(shivering and mumbling): Cold...so cold... Makoto: That's gotta hurt... One of the windows from the School breaks, yelling came be heard from inside... Rei: Wow, they're still fighting... Artemis comes up wearing a "Love Cat" cap. Artemis: Hey girls, how are we all today... Rei: Cool! We got off class early today... Artemis: Thats terrible! Why children? Makoto: Because Miss Haruna and Haruka starting attacking eachother... Artmeis: What the...Why would they do that? Minako: Miss Haruna didn't like Haruka and Michiru's relationship, she said they were fish-eating psychopaths... Rei: Hey! That was my line you buttlicker... Artemis: Children..children. You can't come down on someone jsut because they aren't the same as you. It's not who you are, but whether or not the two of you love eachother. Usagi: Really? Minako: Man, that sounds sweet. Artemis(begins to sing) All you need is love. Don't matter who you are... All you need is love... Love someone it'll get you far... I show my love to my special ladies, let me slide my paws underneath your panties. My lovely girl You taste like a dream Feels like my paw is inside of cream.... Usagi: Artemis! What the HELL are you singing about? Artemis: Sorry I lost myself there... Minako: Artemis, what can you do with Haruka and Miss Haruna... Artemis: Well first, I could slide my tongue *slowly* down their lily-white tummies...searching for that special part of heaven... Minako: No you perverted prick! I mean, how can we stop them from fighting? Artemis: Well, you could get them to make sweet-love to each other.... Makoto: He's going to be of NO help here.... Usagi: But we've got to do something before someone gets hurt... (Back inside the school) Haruna: Okay, little miss, you asked for it, I'm not holding her back anymore... Miss Pinky: That's right little girl. Your ass is a tomato, and I'm a vegimatic. I'm a-gonna chop you up... Haruka: Yeah, right! Haruka grabs Miss Haruna's hand, bites down on Misses Pinky, tearing the puppet off of her finger... Haruna: Oh no, Miss Pinky, I'll get you back for that you pair of Psycho-drug-dealing dykes... Michiru: Die bitch! Michiru throws her violin at Haruna, who ducks. It flies by, smashes through the windows as high speed, breaking a few strings as it goes out. The violin then rushes down towards the inner senshis. As it whizzes by, the violin strings that are broken decapitate Ami... Usagi: Oh my God! They killed Ami! Makoto: You BASTARDS!!! Minako: Come on girls, we've got to stop them... Rei: Goddamit! I hate stopping fights! I wanna go back to the temple and have sushi poofs.... (inside the classroom) The two girls are now beating Miss Haruna with desks... Haruna: I don't care what you two say, I'm winning.... Haruka & Michiru: Die Nazi-bitch! Usagi: Stop! They keep going... Usagi: For the love of Amaterasu, stop! Haruna: You two give in yet? Rei: Dude, it's not working... Usagi: I know that Templeblower! Just give me a sec here... Hey look! Tonya Harding's fighting Margaret Thatcher with frozen underwear... The three stop and look.... Haruna: Where? Where? Michiru: There's no Margaret Thatcher here or Tonya.... Haruka: Damn...that sucks... Usagi: Look, I just wanted to say.... We are all individuals...and we all think our own ways are right... But I've learned something today... Rei: Yeah...ramen! Usagi: No not ramen, you crabby whore! Rei: Fuck you cow-tails! Usagi: I've learned that having someone you love, it's not based upon what sex or race you are, but upon what's inside. And maybe if we all talked more openly about our own fears... We could really solve our own disputes without violence, we'd all understand each other alot better as brothers and sisters of the same race, the human race. Minako: That was beautiful Girl. Usagi: Really? Thanks. Haruka: I guess we shouldn't have beaten you with desks. We should have explained ourselves instead... Haruna: No girls, it's mine and Miss Pinky's faults. We were cold and insensitive to your feelings. That's not way for two respective Staff members to act towards their students. Misses Pinky(Now back on Miss Haruna's finger): Let's all hug and make up... Haruka, Haruna, and Michiru group hug. Misses Pinky: No tongue... Michiru smashes Miss Pinky with a hammer... Makoto: That ended beautifully, Thanks Usagi-chan... Haruna: As for the five girls who skipped class during the fight, you have detentions for the next decade! Rei: GODDAMMIT! Yeah Thanks alot Usagi! You cum-guzzling bitch! Usagi: Fuck you temple-blower! Rei: Don't fucking call me temple blower you piece of cowtail bitch! Minako: Hey Mako-chan, you think Ami's okay? Makoto: Yeah, she's only fooling around in the snow... Flash to outside where Ami's decapitated body lies. Mini-tentacle-creatures appear out of nowhere and surround the body. They start eating it, and then carry it off screen. As we pan away from the school yard, a solitairy voice can be heard in the distance.... Artemis: Gonna make love to ya Luna... Gonna make your tail pulse and move. Gonna teach your body pleasure, Pleasure it never knew... Luna: Fuck off Artemis! I have a headache! THE END (for now) Next episode: THE ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT AKANE TENDO UFO CATCHER DOLL (or I won't touch that with a 20 foot pole) -- LinLin