"Apassionata"

by Andrea Hui 



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     Trials and tribulations build up walls
     in front of faces made of stone.
     Yet we stand strong enough
     to break the walls down to journey on.
     But I know if we just bond our hearts
     There will be nothing
     that stands in our way.
     And we'll be together...
     forever and a day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





     "Chad!" 
     I turned around and stood face to face with the woman 
I loved more than anybody else in this world. Tears ran down 
her winter-streaked face, which was red from both the cold 
weather and crying. She was completely breathless from trying 
to run after me, and her chest was heaving up and down. 
     "Raye," I said, holding her.
     Our embrace was tender and affectionate. She held on to 
me tightly, gripping my arms and burying her forehead into my 
chest, muffling her sobs. I stroked her hair, unconsciously 
picking off a few small, white snowflakes.
     "I'm so sorry," she whispered into my shoulder.
     "Don't be."
     "I don't know what to say to you...I-"
     "You don't need to say anything."
     With that, I gave her the coldest stare I could manage 
and let go of her. I didn't want to, but it was for the best. 
The only reason I let her go was because I didn't want her to 
feel any more pain than she was already feeling, even though 
all I wanted to do was to hold her for the rest of eternity. 
I spun around as fast as I could and started advancing towards 
the jet that waited behind me, its engine roaring.
     "No! Please. I don't want you to go, not this time!" she 
cried, running after me once again. I tried ignoring her, but 
it was no use. 
     "I have to, Raye," I protested, coming up with a partial
lie. "This is my biggest break in music, and I know you can 
understand the importance of this-"
     "I love you," she stated, grabbing my arm fiercely.
     Before I could react, she kissed me more passionately than
I could ever remember. Our bodies and minds melted into one 
another as we kissed with a wonderful fervor. She wrapped her 
arms around me and caressed my head slowly as our mouths 
meshed together. God, I missed her so much, even though I was
just with her a few hours ago. The scent of her long hair, the 
beauty of her eyes, and everything else that had captivated me 
before took my breath away with a new vibrance.
     All the love I had for her poured out as I held her close 
to me, and I could feel the beating of her heart, as fast as a 
hummingbird's wings. Tears were beginning to burn in my eyes, 
but I blinked them away before she could see them. The pain of 
loving her was unbearable, and yet it was blissful in its own 
bittersweet way.
     I held on to her chin and gazed into her eyes. They 
were a deep violet, clouded over with tears, but truth showed 
throughout. There was no doubt in my mind that she really 
cared for me. She knew I had been crying a little, for she 
wiped away a single tear from my cold, numb face. Snow 
enveloped us in a heavy blanket, and our breaths came out 
in short bursts of steam.
     "I'm so sorry for everything, Chad. All the pain I've 
caused you, everything I've done to you, and not to mention 
even thinking about *his* name..." she began, looking down 
at her shoes.
     "I don't want you to blame yourself. I loved you, and 
that's all that mattered."
     "Do you still love me?" she asked, touching her forehead 
to my chin. She didn't need to ask that question, but it was 
still reassuring to know for sure. I wrapped my coat over her 
shivering body and let my body heat lend some warmth to hers.
     "Forever. And I'll never stop. You were my only love."
     She couldn't say anything after that, and I knew why. I 
just wished she didn't mention my own personal pain, or the 
ways she inflicted the deep wounds that were still open and 
fresh in my soul. I couldn't blame her for my pain. She was 
only human.
     "Don't ever leave again," she told me. "Don't leave Tokyo,
don't leave me, don't leave...*our* love..."
     
She stirred up memories in my mind. Memories of years long gone,
of pain long ago that still lingered in my soul.

Let me remember...




                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^





     "So, what are you getting me this Christmas?" Raye asked, 
jumping on me playfully.
     I smiled and took Raye in my arms. I always liked to play 
boyfriend with her, but I would never advance on her. It didn't 
matter, anyway. A closer relationship would ruin our friendship.
     "Dunno. What do you want?" I asked smiling at her.
     She looked at me and tickled my stomach. "Anything pretty. 
Like last year! I would like another dress, but I know you hate 
spending your parents' money."
     Raye continued to tickle me, but it was all in vain. It 
was impossible to get me into a fit of laughter, but she could 
always try. Perhaps one day she would finally make me succumb 
to tickling. That thought made me smile even wider.
     "I do hate to spend my parents' money, but it wasn't my 
fault that they left me with a ton of dough," I said, reaching 
for her stomach. She responded to laughter so easily, and we 
both fell onto the hardwood floors of her temple, laughing. 
Suddenly, she stopped and looked at me with a serious face.
     "It must be hard to keep ties with them," she said, playing 
with a loose yarn of my winter sweater.
     I sighed and looked away. I didn't want to be reminded that 
much of my parents. She knew I hated them. I ran away from home 
when I was fifteen, and happened to stumble by Cherry Hill Temple. 
Luckily, her grandfather took me in, and I've been learning the 
ways of a warrior ever since. That was almost four years ago, and 
now I've become a close member of the Hino family.
     Never did I hear from my parents ever since I ran away. The 
only thing that they left behind was an account good enough to 
earn me a spot as one of the richer people in Tokyo. Though I had 
all the money anybody could ever want, I spent it sparingly and 
lived like a bum. It satisfied me, though. I was rebelling against 
my parents for never loving me.
     Grandpa was like the father I never had. He was a funny little 
old man, but he always put a smile on his face. To think of the 
physical exertion he put me though for ronin training made me 
wince whenever I thought about it. Those trees! I hated crashing 
into them and seeing Grandpa fly like a monkey. Training taught 
me a few things about life, though. Grandpa taught me how to 
deal with my inner anger, and not to lash out on impulsion. 
Three years made me get over the anger and hate towards my 
parents.
     Raye was something else altogether. I never admitted it 
to her, but I had loved her ever since the moment I laid my 
lucky eyes upon her. She was the epitome of beauty, and possibly 
the most beautiful girl on all Earth. The way she spoke, her 
words important and meaningful, the way she moved, like a swan 
over water, and everything else she did was just so wonderful 
and beautiful. I've considered myself one of the most fortunate 
guys in Tokyo, and all of that was because of Raye Hino.
     "Hey, it's okay. I've gotten over hating my parents' 
guts," I told her, sitting up.
     "I'm glad," she responded.
     I sat up cross-legged and looked around me. Raye really 
outdid it this Christmas, putting up a huge tree trimmed with 
red, green, gold, and just about all the colors of the rainbow. 
There were three big, cross-stitched socks that hung by the 
'fireplace,' a shrine that constantly burned with a bright fire. 
Colorful lights decorated the main room, and other nice 
decorations were hanging everywhere.
     "Look, Chad," she said, pointing up at the ceiling. "There's holly."
     I spotted a small sprig of green leaves and red berries 
hanging from a thin red ribbon that was suspended above our 
heads. I knew what holly meant, and my heart began beating faster. 
     "Do you want me to-"
     I didn't have time to finish my sentence. She had planted 
her delicious lips on mine, kissing gently at first. Slowly, she 
moved closer to me and embraced me, wrapping her long arms around 
my neck. This was the first kiss we had ever shared, and I think 
I almost died from shock. I was spinning in a world of my own.
     "Mmmm..." I moaned, running my fingers through her shiny, 
fruit scented hair. Then, abruptly, she stopped.
     "I can't," she said, wiping her mouth.
     Disappointment thudded in my chest. "Why?" I asked, breath-
less.
     "No," she spoke quietly, standing up and running to her 
bedroom.
     I sat there, dumbfounded and stunned by her behavior. It 
was like having a precious jewel in your hand, and then having 
it whisked away. 
     Staring out the window, I saw many snowflakes beginning to 
cover the ground, blanketing the Earth in an even covering of 
white. It was night already, and the white ground cast a bluish 
glow. I stood up and decided to take a walk to clear my mind after 
this incident. I took my winter coat and stepped out the door, 
shoving my hands deep into my pockets. The temperature of the 
outside was freezing me beyond belief. I had no reason to walk 
out here at night, but I thought that some walking could do me 
some good to shake off the feelings of dissatisfaction.
     The night sky was filled with dark clouds, and the moon 
couldn't even break through the thick layers. Snow beat down 
heavily, and some flakes began to stick to my hair and eyebrows. 
I walked faster, farther away from Cherry Hill Temple.
     I kept my eyes glued to the ground the entire time, and I 
didn't even notice when someone bumped into me. He almost 
knocked me to the ground, and I shoved him. "Hey," I cried at 
the figure.
     It took me a second to recognize him in the dark. "Sorry, 
Chad," Darien said, staring at me strangely. He looked like he 
didn't want to be recognized by the way he pulled his hood over 
his face.
     "What are you doing out here in such freezing temps?" I asked 
him, blowing my ice-cold fingers as a futile attempt to warm them 
up.
     "I could ask you the same thing," he answered, hugging his 
hood closer to his face. I took a closer look at him and noticed 
that he looked kind of funny. He had a red nose that contrasted 
sharply with his blue eyes. He was dressed in running clothes, and 
I couldn't imagine myself going around in such thin clothing, in 
the middle of winter! Even in my down jacket, I was still freezing.
     "Well, um, uh...I just...needed a walk," I said unsteadily.
     "So did I," he answered nonchalantly.
     There was a nervous air between us. I don't know, maybe it was 
something that bonds us together, or something that drives us apart, 
but there was a definite bond that made me feel uneasy. 
     "Where are you going?" I asked him.
     "Uh....I'm getting a present for Serena," he said, but I knew 
he was lying by the way his eyes darted back and forth.
     "I'm getting something for Raye," I said to him, my own lie.
     He looked at me sharply, as if surprised. He didn't say 
anything more, but he resumed his walk in the direction of the 
temple. 'Strange,' I thought, but I quickly forgot the 
confrontation.
     I kept on walking, and soon I passed Raye's high school. 
Preparations were probably in full swing to make the 'Winter 
Wonderland' dance, one of the biggest dances of the year besides 
the Senior Prom, a big showy event. I never went to my Prom, but 
maybe this year I could go to the 'Winter Wonderland' if Raye 
invited me. False hope, I decided. She would never invite me. I 
bet that tons of boys were drooling over her already, and she 
must have her eye on someone. 
     Even though it was about nine o'clock, I could still see 
people inside preparing for the dance, which would be held 
tomorrow. I think I've heard enough of how "wonderful and 
exciting" this dance would be from Raye. She would always go 
on and on about how cool dances are, and how many boys she 
dances with. I wanted to be one of those boys, but I'm 
practically family. 
     I decided to step inside the school and see if I could 
help at all. I was surprised to see Serena and Lita inside 
putting up decorations in the contest gym. Mina was also there, 
but Amy wasn't. I remembered that she was away on a foreign 
exchange course in Germany, which she was supposed to take when 
she was a mere fourteen, but gave it up. She took it when she 
was supposed to be entering her senior year here, and decided 
that it would be for the best. It was her last chance at taking 
that course anyway.
     There was a bright flash of orange light. Hearts streamed 
all over the room, backed up by the fiery light. I witnessed Mina 
saying, "Venus...Love Me Chain...Encircle!" 
     A flood of love invaded my heart, and drenched the gym's 
wood floors with the power of Venus. I stood by the door and 
smiled dreamily. "Hey," I said, catching the girls' attention.
     Serena screamed in surprise and almost fell off the ladder 
she was standing on to put up crepe paper and silver snowflakes. 
Thankfully, Lita caught her, but was almost crushed by the enormous 
weight of the small-appearing blonde girl. Mina smiled and walked 
toward me.
     "Chad! It's good to see you," she said, hugging me.
     "The gym is starting to look great," I commented. "Nice 
effect of the Love Me Chain. That should certainly bring the 
couples closer."
     She blushed. "Yes, I guess so. I trust you to keep this a 
secret, just like our alternate identities?" she joked.
     "Always!" I took her pinky and did our usual pinky swear. 
Meanwhile, Lita and an angry Serena approached me. 
     "You almost killed me!" Serena screamed, but she giggled as 
soon as the last word was said. 
     "Sorry. I won't EVER do that again," I told her, laughing.
     Lita spoke up. "Are you coming to the Winter Wonderland? 
Anybody from outside our school could be invited. It's only about 
fifteen dollars, but I could curve the price for you."
     "I'm thinking about it. Tomorrow night?" As if I didn't know.
     "Yeah," Serena began. "This is one of the last dances we're 
ever going to have, and one of the best too," she said, blushing 
furiously.
     Mina nudged Serena in the ribs. "Why don't you tell Chad? 
He has a right to know!"
     "I haven't even told Raye yet," she retorted.
     "So? Chad can go back to the Temple and tell Raye."
     "Fine," Serena said, taking her left hand out from behind 
her back. "Chad, I'm getting married," she said, waving in front 
of my face a humongous rock. My jaw dropped, and I was speechless 
for a few moments before gathering myself together and giving the 
girl a hug.
     "Who's the lucky guy?" I asked her, still shocked.
     "You don't know by now?" she asked, obviously surprised.
     I almost slapped myself. "Darien!"
     "Got that right. I've been waiting for those words ever since 
I've met him, I think," she said, staring at her diamond.
     "I just saw him a couple minutes-" I began.
     "Chad, could you do us a favor?" Lita interrupted.
     I turned my attention to the tall brown-haired girl. She was 
smiling sweetly, and batting her long eyelashes. "Yessss?" I asked 
slowly.
     "I was thinking, could you play one of your songs at the 
dance?"
     That wasn't hard for me to answer. "Of course! But.."
     "But what?" she asked, her smile fading slightly.
     "You have to get me the free admission." 
     Lita smiled in relief and patted my on the back. The four of 
us laughed loudly and proceeded on with the decorations. If I couldn't 
dance with Raye, at least I could watch her be happy on one of the 
most important nights of her last year in high school.

                         ***********

     It took us about four more hours to complete the 'Winter 
Wonderland' decorations, and I felt like my lungs would burst 
from filling balloon after balloon with air and then having 
to attach them to those annoying light chains. At least in 
the end, the gym was spectacular. I had the honor of turning 
on the balloon lights, and seeing the gym fill up with a soft 
blue and white glow made me feel satisfied that I had practically 
sacrificed my lungs.
     I said a goodnight to the girls, and went on my way back to 
Cherry Hill Temple. Taking my mind off of Raye for a few hours 
certainly did make me feel better, and it was good to know that 
she must be asleep by now. I glanced at my watch, and the greenish 
glow told me that it was eleven. 
     The walk back seemed quicker than the walk to the gym. For 
starters, I didn't run into Darien again, and I was glad that I 
didn't. I wasn't really that close to him, nor was I close to any 
of his friends, either. I knew him only from Serena's constant 
chatter about him at the Scout meetings held at the Temple. 
     My feet crunched in the snow loudly, reminding me that winter 
was under full blast. I liked the winter only for Christmas and 
New Year's, but otherwise it bothered me. A few years ago, I was 
used to spending my winters in sunny California or some other 
exotic place, but I could get used to Tokyo. In fact, I think 
I was finally beginning to like it here. A lot.
     When I made it back to the Temple, I immediately ran to my 
warm bedroom to massage my light blue feet. I kept the night light 
off and threw my coat in the corner. I buried myself under my down 
comforter and tried to calm my shivering down. My teeth clicked and 
chattered, and I thought that I could die from the cold that took 
over my body.
     In about five minutes, my blood started flowing again, and 
I switched on my lamp, taking a guitar magazine into my hands. A 
little reading could probably take my mind off the cold.
     It was absolutely quiet in the Temple. So quiet I swore I 
could hear soft crying...
     I realized that the crying was coming from Raye's room. I 
stood up quickly despite the fact that my feet were still trying 
to warm up. I tiptoed to the wall and peered through the small 
hole that I drilled myself. I knew that it was sinful that I 
did this, but I was curious about girls when I moved in here. 
I blamed my raging hormones, but they've died down a little 
bit since four years ago. 
     One thing that came with drilling the hole in the wall 
was seeing Raye naked one too many times, like when she got 
out of the shower.  I was devious enough to drill the hole by 
her full-length mirror, and I knew her completely. She never did 
anything too dirty or took a partner into her bed, but I still 
kept the hole there to check up on her every once in a while to 
make sure that she was okay.
     Through the small hole, I saw her figure in the bed 
silhouetted by the warm orange glow of candles and fragrant
incense. She was shaking slightly, and a blanket partially 
covered her. She was definitely crying,and I heard her 
heartbroken sobs and sniffles, which were getting softer and 
softer. Right then I wanted to lay by her and comfort her, 
but I decided against it. Perhaps she needed to be  alone, 
and I knew I couldn't help her.  
     I heard her whispering, "I love you..."
     Was she talking about me? No, it couldn't be. The kiss we 
shared couldn't have affected her so much. 
     As if drowning out her crying, she turned on her cd player 
and found the track to "Apassionata," by Beethoven. Of course 
it was her own recording, as was the entire collection of music 
albums that were displayed across her walls. She turned up 
the volume enough to cover over her crying, and she played 
the third movement, Allegro, a face paced, forte movement.
     I don't know why she liked that particular song so much. 
Maybe it was because it was her very first recorded Beethoven 
piano sonata, of which there were thirty-two. She was an 
exceptionally talented self-taught pianist and singer, and 
made a lot of money selling her albums. But all she listened 
to was "Apassionata," and nothing else, even though she had 
recorded over hundreds of other pieces.
     She cried harder, and I could see silent sobs wrack her 
body. I gasped when I saw her take a breast into her palm. She 
stared at her mirror, and it seemed like she was staring at me. 
Slowly, she lifted her fruit out of her nightgown and pressed 
her thumb against the wine-colored center.
     An uncomfortable lump formed in my jeans, which I hadn't 
bothered to take off. Quicker than lightning, I shed them and 
tried to press down my impending erection. She had ways of 
getting  to me, and tonight was my unlucky night. Unfortunately, 
the cold didn't help me either.
     Her lovely body arched forward, as if beckoning to me. 
The stream of tears had stopped a little, and moans took place 
instead of sniffling. I've seen her masturbate, but it was always 
secluded under her blanket, away from my prying eyes. Now that 
she was fully exposed, I felt bad that I had even thought about 
wishing to see her pleasuring herself.
     She rubbed her raised nipples with her thumbs while 
cupping each full breast in her palms. I thought I would 
lose it right there. Her mouth was hanging open, and her 
lower half was writhing under her blankets. Why did God 
have to make her so damned sexy...?
     I was holding onto my shaft through my underwear, and 
it felt like a hot club. I thought that I was going to burst 
any second, but the shame of watching Raye prevented that. I 
couldn't tell her about the hole in her wall, and made a vow 
to seal it up tomorrow. That is, if I got through tonight in 
one piece.
     She stopped abruptly and flung her blanket over her body, 
wrapping it up like a cocoon. Loud wails were muffled by the 
pillows that she pressed against her face, but the loud music 
of Beethoven couldn't mask the sound of her pain. 
     I relaxed a little and let go of my member. I was glad she 
stopped, but I was still uneasy about her crying. Why was she 
like this? I guess I would never know. She was always a mystery 
on the inside, even though she wasn't on the outside.
     I decided to leave her alone and walked away from the hole, 
shaking my head in shame. How could I invade her privacy like that? 
I wanted to punch myself. 
     As I crawled back into my bed, I thought about how hot my
body was now, thanks to Raye. That made me even more ashamed. 
I turned off my lamp in hopes of getting some sleep after *this*
incident. I kept on telling myself to seal up the hole as soon as 
I got up tomorrow, but part of me was telling me to keep it open. 
That part of me said that something was wrong, and Raye was in 
desperate need of help. Help that only I could give her.
     I fell asleep to the stormy music of Beethoven, dreaming of 
my only love.


                         **********


     Melodic music awoke me at dawn of a new day. I sat up 
lazily and rubbed my eyes, yawning. Raye must have gotten up 
already, because the piano music that filled the temple could 
only be her. She was playing one of her old songs, "Starry Night," 
and I could hear her perfect voice from my bedroom.
     I took my time to get up, still feeling a like I had drunk 
a twenty four pack. So this was what an overhang felt like. An 
overhang of hormones, not alcohol. I looked at the small hole 
that still stayed on my wall, and I couldn't bring myself to 
seal it up. At least I could stop looking through it, but I knew 
that my hormones wouldn't allow it.
     Stepping out of my room, I saw Raye at the upright piano down 
the hallway, playing with emotions like she always did. Even though 
she wore the bulky priestess costume, her body would move to the 
piano like a lover, and her inner feelings would come out through 
the music she made. I leaned against the wall and watched her as 
she wavered back and forth, singing like a bird and playing the 
piano with expertise. 
     When she finished, I clapped, shouting, "Bravo!"
     Raye turned around and smiled cheerfully. I don't think she 
wanted to remember what happened last night. "You don't need to say
that," she said, wiping her fingers with a red handkerchief.
     "Of course I do," I argued. "You're the best pianist in the 
world!" I cried, hugging her.
     "I wished that I could have a grand piano," she said wistfully.
     That gave me an idea. Maybe for this Christmas, I could grant 
her that wish. If anybody deserved a great piano, that would be her. 
Her piano was an upright Yamaha, still in good condition, but not for 
someone of her standards who has performed over most of Tokyo. She
needed a piano to call her own.
     "Hey, are you playing tonight?" I asked her.
     "Nope," she replied, turning back to the keyboard. 
     "Why not?" I asked, surprised that she wasn't. 
     "I don't feel like it."
     What an odd answer. I decided not to venture further into 
her business and sat by her on the piano bench. I tapped a few 
keys, and made up my own melody.
     "You're pretty good," she commented, adding to the duet.
     We played like one unified being, making up beautiful melodies.
Music just flowed from our souls, and I couldn't help but feel more 
love for Raye. There was no end to our song, and we kept on playing 
for a couple more endless minutes.
     After we finished, I was flustered. I didn't know that I 
possessed a talent in piano too. I was mostly a guitar and drum 
person, but piano caught me as an unexpected addition to my 
repertoire. 
     "When did you learn to play?" she asked me, playing one of 
her pieces again.
     "Never," I said. 
     "Really," she said sarcastically. "It took me a couple years 
before I could get that good."
     I didn't want to say anything, but I suspected that my 
newfound talent was due to years of listening to her music each 
and every morning. I got off the piano bench and sat down on the 
floor, admiring her long legs that pressed the pedals under the 
piano.
     "What are your eyes goring over?" she asked, giggling.
     "Your legs," I answered truthfully.
     She laughed and jumped off the piano bench, tickling me. 
I couldn't help but laugh this time. Happiness that wasn't there 
previously took over the sadness that hid in a deep corner of her 
heart as she finally made me laugh. I owed her that much at least.
     We had another bout of tickling like last night, and we ended 
up under the holly again. I tried my hardest to move away from 
the little sprig, but the morning's energy made Raye stronger than 
me. 
     "Kiss me, you fool," she said sensually.
     I didn't resist any longer and pressed my lips on hers once 
again. Her mouth tasted like Scope mint, fresh and making me fully 
awake and perked up. We kissed much longer this time, and I wondered 
why she didn't back away like she did last time. Instinctively, I pressed 
my body against hers, wrapping my arms around the small of 
her back and bringing her upper body into mine.
     She reacted slightly and kissed me harder. She wanted 
something, but I didn't know what. I got the feeling she wasn't 
kissing *me* but putting someone else in my place...
     "Stop," she told me.
     I released her and knocked the crown of my head on the floor, 
frustrated. "What is it now?" I asked, holding her hand.
     "I...don't want us..to-" she took her hand out of mine and 
stood up over me.
     "What?"
     "It's not...fair-"
     "What's not fair?"
     "I...don't..."
     Raye ran away before I could say anything more. I hated her 
a little right then, and I slammed my palm to the floor. 
     "DAMN!" I shouted.
     I stood up and stomped to my studio, which was a little 
addition to the temple that I had the permission to add. Since 
Grandpa knew that I would be staying here for a while, he let 
me make some space for my own. I'm glad that someone liked me 
enough to do that.
     Surrounding the studio were different guitars and synthesizers,
drums, and several computers. My major at the college was music, 
mainly guitar playing and drum synthesizing. Life at the college 
was good, and this winter break I was on couldn't get any better...
or worse.
     I picked up my favorite electric guitar and began strumming 
the strings, making up a riff. I decided to compose a new song for 
tonight's dance, and doing that would take my mind off of Raye for 
the next few hours. The pick glided across the strings flawlessly, 
as always. I didn't even have to write down the lyrics, because they 
came naturally. I was going towards a more soft rock piece, a 
difference from the status quo, which was pure rock. The entire 
time I sat down singing, I stared outside, watching the main building 
of the temple and seeing Raye sweep the floors quickly. 
     My musical abilities had flourished after the four years I 
spent living with Raye and Grandpa. I admired how dedicated Raye
was to learning piano and singing, despite her duty as a preistess
in training, and that taught me how to take my music more seriously. 
Not only did my music improve, but so did my speech and attitudes. 
No longer was I the "grunge" type, but the "acceptable" type, with 
correct speech. I didn't miss the way I talked; Raye liked the 
improved Chad better.
     Soon, I had completed my composition, and it was night. I 
couldn't believe that I spent so much time thinking up the piece. 
I must have been in space, because I could not remember much of 
the hours spent in my studio. I put the guitar back in its case and 
went back into my room, trying to figure out what to wear tonight. 
I couldn't decide whether to wear my performance outfit (which was 
kind of grungy) or a formal tuxedo. The decision was easy. A tuxedo 
to complement my R&B song. 
     I heard Raye from her room, and she sounded happy. She was 
singing "Starry Night" again, and I took a peek inside. She was 
putting the last touches of makeup on her lovely face, and was 
standing in front of her mirror. I admired her beauty, which was 
highlighted with a dark red dress. Its bodice dipped dangerously 
low, and I couldn't help but look at the way she was filled up. 
She'd certainly draw lots of attention tonight. 
     A white bow tie added a nice effect to my tuxedo, and I 
smiled into my mirror, liking my reflection. My hair was kept 
shorter these days, and I found that it was much more easier to 
manage than my old long shag. My eyes weren't covered by my bangs, 
and a green sparkle could be seen, at least that's what Raye said. 
If she liked something, I'd keep it at that.
     I hummed my song for a while, thinking of what my lyrics 
meant. Were they just something meaningless, or did they signal 
something much deeper...?
     Opening the door to my room, I spotted Raye escaping from 
her own. She didn't see me come out, and I didn't want to startle 
her. She seemed hurried, but excited. She drove away in her car 
before I went into my own. I wanted to surprise her later with 
my song, and with my fine tuxedo.
     The party was already in full swing by the time I got to 
her high school. The decorations seemed even more wonderful when 
there were people in the room to enjoy them. I smiled and headed 
behind the set up stage, where I met Lita, who was clad in a 
strapless green velvet dress.
     "Wow, you look sexy," I said, winking at her.
     "Oh, stop that, Chad," said Lita, but she really did like the 
compliment.
     "When am I playing?" I asked.
     "I think you should play last," she said solemnly.
     "That would be really nice, because I've made up a romantic 
sort of song, a good memory for this memorable night."
     "Really?"
     "Yes, really. I am capable of a slow song," I argued jokingly.
     "I believe you," she said. 
     I settled my guitar case down, and ventured out into the gym. 
The atmosphere was relaxed and easygoing, and there were people who
danced and people who sat down at tables, exchanging gifts. I had 
yet to choose one for Raye, and I had my mind set on getting the 
grand piano. That would make her really happy.
     I saw Serena and Darien dancing, their arms wrapped around 
each other. They were so into each other, they seemed lost in a 
world of their own. Then I spotted Raye. She was talking to Mina, 
but I noticed how her eyes were glued onto Serena and Darien most 
of the time. I wondered why.
     Girls approached me, and obviously knew who I was. I was 
pleased that they did, but I refused their invitations to dance. 
As long as I loved Raye, I just couldn't be with anybody else, 
even though it was just for a dance. 
     I watched couples get on and off the smooth dance floor, but 
I never saw Raye with anybody. Most of my attentions were turned 
towards her, and on such a magical night, I couldn't keep my eyes 
off her. I was fighting an internal battle within myself, whether 
to ask her to dance or whether to stay in the shadows. I decided 
to ask her to dance.
     "Raye," I said gently as I approached her.
     "Chad! What are you doing here?" Raye exclaimed, taken by 
surprise by my appearance. She looked me up and down, and her face 
seemed to quiver for a second. "Why the tux?"
     "I'm playing the end song for 'Winter Wonderland.' And as 
for the tux, I thought that it would go perfectly with my song."
     "Nice," she said softly, and looked away.
     "Raye, if I may ask-"
     "Yes?"
     "Would you...dance with me?"
     She looked at me sharply and began to shake her head, but 
nodded it at the last moment. I almost jumped with joy.
     "Okay," she said.
     I took her hand in mine and led her to the dance floor. A 
slow, soft rock song was playing, and I held her close to me. Her 
chin rested on my shoulder as we circled around. I drew in the scent 
of her flowing hair, and closed my eyes. Dreams of this moment were 
finally coming true as I held her closer. 
     She seemed apprehensive to my close touch, but she didn't show 
it in her motions. I could see it in her eyes as I stared into them. 
She didn't want to be with me.
     I didn't say anything, but I kept on dancing with her. I 
smiled, and she smiled back as if programmed. 'There she goes 
again,' I thought with irritation as she looked across the room 
at the dancing figures of Serena and Darien. 
     My thumb traced her chin and turned her head back to me. I 
looked up, and said, "There's holly." Many sprigs hung from the 
gym ceiling, and other couples were already kissing each other.
     Reluctantly, she put her lips on mine and kissed me for a 
short while, ending quickly. After the kiss, she seemed a little 
nervous, and she fidgeted with my tuxedo. 
     "What is it?" I asked her quietly.
     "Nothing."
     "Why are you so-" I stopped myself from going any further. 
If she wanted me to know something, she would tell me.
     Under the holly, we danced the remainder of the song, and I
treasured the time we spent together. This must have been the most 
wonderful night of my life so far.
     The song ended after what seemed like forever, and Lita 
appeared on the stage. I held Raye's hand in mine, and we listened 
to what Lita had to say.
     "It's my pleasure, as the dance director, to announce the 
King and Queen of 'Winter Wonderland.' The votes were almost all 
unanimous," she said, looking at Raye sharply. "The King is...
Darien Chiba!" 
     The crowd clapped and cheered as Darien stepped on the stage 
and accepted his crown. He was wearing a tuxedo similar to mine, 
and he was incredibly handsome. I sort of guessed that both he and 
Serena would win tonight.
     I felt Raye squeeze my hand slightly and look away. I held 
her hand tighter, trying to reassure her that everything was okay. 
She seemed so nervous.   
     Lita handed Darien a bunch of red roses, his trademark attack 
weapon as Tuxedo Mask. He thanked her and she returned back to the
microphone.
     "And the Queen is...Serena Tsukino!" 
     The students cheered even more for her as she stepped on stage 
and took her place beside Darien on the small thrones. She had on the 
most beautiful ivory gown with gold trim. The sparkling rhinestone 
crown looked fitting for her. She was a princess in the past, anyway.
     They stood up and waved to the crowd. I smiled and hugged
Raye. That's when I noticed the tears.
     "Raye, are you okay?"
     "Yeah," she said, wiping away some tears. "I'm just so...happy 
for the two of them."
     Lita announced into the microphone, "And now it's my pleasure 
to present our own musician, Chad Kumada! He will perform the song 
for the last dance of the night, the King and Queen dance."
     I waved my hand and the crowed cheered loudly. I was so 
engrossed in my feedback that I didn't even notice when Raye 
let go of my hand and walk away. 
     On stage, Lita had already set up the guitar and the microphone 
on it. Now it was up to me to make this night more special for Serena
and Darien than they can ever imagine.
     I wanted to say, "This song is dedicated to my love, Raye 
Hino," but of course I couldn't. It had to be dedicated to the 
engaged couple who loved each other for a millennium and longer.
     "This song is called 'Thank You'" I said, and began playing 
and singing while the spotlight shined upon Serena and Darien.
     
     I was young
     and I didn't know where to run.
     I needed to wake up and see
     what's in front of me.
     There had to be a better way
     to show you that I'm grateful
     So I thought up this song
     to show you I've loved you for so long.

     All though my life
     I knew that you'd be my world.
     Knowing everywhere I go
     things you taught me, they would show.
     So many times and changes,
     you've seen me through.
     I sure enough couldn't have survived without you...

     I'm so glad you're here
     because I have so many things to tell you
     so many things to talk to you about
     because you're the strength I hold on to
     and I hope I'm the strength that you hold on to.

     Because even though when times got rough
     you never turned away
     you were right there
     and I thank you.

     I ended the song softly, and the whole room seemed to sigh. 
It was great to know that people really enjoyed my singing. I 
looked at Raye, and new tears were shining in her violet eyes. 
In the spotlight, Serena and Darien were looking at me with a new 
appreciation.
     I swallowed and spoke into the microphone. "I dedicate this 
song to Serena and Darien, who are going to be the happiest married 
couple in all of Tokyo!"
     People cheered in surprise and began lively chatting. In the 
midst of the crowd, I saw Raye. Her face was an ashen white and 
tears sprang into her eyes quickly. She ran out of the room as fast 
as she could.
     I wanted to jump off the stage and run after her, but people 
were asking for my autograph. I couldn't turn them away, and I had 
to stay confined on stage for a few more minutes before I could get 
rid of them. 
     Running outside quickly, I found Raye in no time. She was 
sitting alone on the track bleachers, and she was sobbing quietly. 
I ran up the bleachers and sat beside her, patting her back. Snow 
was still falling, and her perfect hair was messed up by the wetness 
of the snow.
     "Are you okay?" I asked, turning her tear-streaked face to me.
     "I-...I'm fine," she said, sniffling.
     "Why are you so sad?"
     "I'm not sad! Just...just leave me alone," she said, pushing 
me away.
     "I need to-"
     "You don't need to do anything Chad! It's too late...too 
late," she said, burying her face in her hands.
     "Please, Raye."
     "Go away."
     "Raye-"
     "I said, go away!" she cried, standing up. She ran down the 
bleachers quickly and escaped me. I decided it was best to let her 
go. One day she would tell me why she was so heartbroken tonight. 
I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself. It was so cold outside, 
I ventured back in to the gym.
     People were beginning to leave the gym already, and I could 
see all of the Sailor Scouts, minus Raye, talking excitedly. 
     "Chad!" Lita shouted, waving to me. "Come here!"
     I walked quickly to the group, and Lita presented an 
middle-aged serious appearing man. He wore a suit and had papers 
tucked under his arm.
     "Meet Mr. Wessel, executive producer of Aspire Music," Lita 
said.
     I couldn't believe it. One of the biggest music producers in 
all of Tokyo, here to listen to me. Then I realized he had already listened
 to me.
     "Mr. Wessel," I said, shaking his hand. 
     "I'm very pleased with your musical talents," he stated. 
     "Thank you."
     "I want to offer you a recording session. I'm confident that 
you will succeed in the music business."
     I was speechless. I just kept on shaking his hand. My big 
break had finally come. 
     "You can thank me later," Lita said, smiling.
     "Lita! You did this for me?"
     "It was about time to be discovered."
     I talked to the girls and Mr. Wessel for a while longer 
before remembering Raye. She was probably still upset, and I 
know she needed me. 
     By now, it was almost midnight, and all the people had 
left to go home already. I was beginning to feel tired myself, 
and I wanted to get home to check on Raye to see if she was all 
right or not.
     "I have to get home," I told everybody.
     "Why? Stay and help clean up," Lita said.
     "What?!?"
     "Just kidding! You've proven yourself worthy, and you 
deserve a reward," she said jokingly.
     "Nice meeting you, Mr. Wessel," I said to him.
     "Same here," he said, shaking my hand a final time.
     With my guitar in hand, I stepped out into the cold winter 
of Tokyo. It was even colder than last night, and I think that 
God was feeling what Raye was feeling, the coldness of an 
undescribable anger or sadness. I was clueless to what was going 
through her mind, but I knew that it wasn't good.
     While I was driving back, I switched the radio to the 
classical station. The song that was playing was the Apassionata. 
I wondered if Raye was playing it, but I could guess it was. I 
turned up the volume to almost deafening, and my mood started to 
heat up. I was mad for no reason at all.
     I sped along the roads and screeched into the garage of the 
shrine. I was definitely not myself as I stomped into my bedroom. 
Perhaps the source of my anger was Raye, or it may have been my 
own naivete to her feelings. Maybe I was coming on too fast, and 
terrified her. Maybe it was...
     "Stop it!" I shouted and walked into my bedroom, slamming the 
door. Sleep could finally get my mind off of Raye, once and for all. 
I tore off my tuxedo and tossed it into a corner. The night had no 
moon at all, and it was completely dark in my room as I threw the 
covers over my head.
     My feet were freezing underneath the blanket, and it didn't 
help that I was just wearing my underwear. I turned towards the wall 
between my room and Raye's and saw a tiny stream of light coming 
from the small hole.
     I heard the Apassionata sonata playing from Raye's radio again,
and the volume steadily increased. I became curious, and got out of 
my bed. Silently, I sneaked up to the hole and peered through it.
     What I saw almost shocked me off my feet.
     Raye was right in front of the full-length mirror, which meant 
that she was right in front of me. She was completely naked. 
     Her deep purple eyes stared up at her reflection evilly, and 
a malicious smile took place on her lips. A warm yellow glow from 
many candles highlighted her body as her hands glided sexily over 
her perfect curves. Her back arched and she pinched her nipples with 
her fingers, making cooing noises at the same time. 
     She was dancing slightly, like a showgirl, wiggling her shapely 
hips and smiling in front of the mirror. My mouth hung open, and 
I could feel my member hardening already.
     Flitting around like a bird, she started to dance gracefully 
while touching her body at the same time. She was an incredible 
dancer. 
     Suddenly, she just crumbled. She dropped to the floor, sobbing 
hard and painfully. She rocked back and forth on her knees, wailing 
wretchedly. I wanted to reach out and comfort her as much as I did 
last night, and even more. She was more mysterious to me than I ever 
imagined.
     Abruptly, just like she started, Raye stopped crying. She 
stood up from the floor and stomped to her dresser, flinging out 
her arm to make all the items crash to the floor. She was screaming 
and said many incoherent things while she struck out her arm again 
and again, knocking her radio off the top of the dresser and stopping 
the sounds of Apassionata.  
     She picked up a one and a half inch-thick candle and looked 
at it thoughtfully. What was she planning to do with it? She stroked 
the sides of it up and down, as if she was touching a...oh my god.
     Raye crawled back into her bed and lay on her back, facing 
the mirror. She opened up her legs, and I could see her glistening 
womanhood as she ran a finger over her folds. I heard her curse 
as she accidentally nicked her clitoris with her fingernail.
     A finger dipped inside, and she moved with the motions of 
that finger as it slid in and out. Her other hand, which held the
candle, ran the round, melted edge along the curve of her breast 
and across the erect, raised center. She inserted another finger 
into her vagina and used her thumb to rub her clitoris.
     Now I was really erect. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed 
of myself, but hard as I tried, I couldn't pry my eyes away from 
the hole in the wall which held the window to Raye's privacy. I 
wanted to stop my erection, but brushing my hands across it didn't 
help at all. Instead, it made it worse.
     I kept on watching her and holding onto my hard cock, 
which jutted into the wall like a stiff finger. She kneeled up 
and balanced herself on her knees, rubbing her hand across her 
breast, then caressed the glossy curls between her legs, catching 
some of her love juices with her fingers. With her other hand, 
she buried the candle into the blanket and mattress. The melted 
edge pointed straight up to her pussy, and she lowered herself 
on it.
     She began to whisper something, and I craned my neck to hear 
what she said. "Darien," was the only word uttered.

     Darien. She loved him, not me.

     I understood now as my secret world was torn away from me. 
The world of my love for Raye crumbled like dust.

     Slowly, she slid herself further and further down on the 
candle, and tears began to flow down her reddened cheeks. She moved 
her hands around her thighs and on her buttocks as she lowered 
herself down on the thick candle.
     "Don't do this to yourself," I whispered as I watched her.
     A twitch of pain echoed on her face as she reached the blockage 
inside of herself. Then, a look of determination replaced that pain.

     She impaled herself violently on the candle.

     "No!" I cried softly.
     She screamed in agony as the candle broke her virginity. The 
once six inch candle was almost three fourths of the way inside her, 
and blood began to trickle down the sides. She kept on screaming and 
lay back down, frantically trying to pull the candle out of herself.
     I had enough of this and ran out of my room into hers, almost 
breaking  her door in the process. She was still screaming as I ran 
to her side and took her hand away from the bloody candle. 
"Chad," she cried.
     Gently, I took a hold of the candle and tried to dismantle it 
from her. It was pretty thick, and I couldn't believe how she could 
fit it inside herself in the first place. It was pretty difficult to 
get it out, but I managed to do it. Raye was still crying, but at 
least her screaming stopped. I dropped the wet candle on to the 
floor and crawled into bed beside her, stroking her face.
     "It's okay," I said, but my voice was quavering. I was in pain 
too. Emotional pain.
     "I...l-loved...him s-so m-much," she cried, her words 
stuttered.
     "I know, I know," I whispered, hugging her hot body close.
     "The Apassionata...it was for him. H-he said he loved me a 
l-long time ago...but...I k-know...I KNOW! H-he never loved me at 
all. His heart...always belonged to Serena. Nobody loves me. 
NOBODY!" she cried, her body shaking with new sobs.
     "I...love you," I said softly, regretting instantly that I 
spoke.
     She sniffled and looked at me.
     "You do?"
     "I've loved you since the day we met."
     Raye snuggled against me and we fell asleep in each others' 
arms.

                    ************

     When I opened my eyes, I saw bright sunlight streaming through 
the windows, lighting up the room radiantly. I tried stretching up, 
and that's when I realized that my arms were wrapped around a warm 
body.
     Raye's body.
     I remembered the events of the night before, and shook my 
head. She were still naked and I in my underwear, but nothing had 
ever happened. I was glad for that. I could never love Raye 
completely, and there was no hope for that in the future either. 
     My body was like a plastic molding to her body because her 
back curved into my stomach. Another thing I noticed was that my 
hand rested on her breast. Quickly, I removed my hand from her 
chest but kept my arms around her. She still needed me.
     Thankfully, my body had warmed from hers, and my feet were 
no longer cold. I kissed the top of her head, which awakened her. 
She yawned and found me beside her.
     "Chad! What-" she cried, then stopped.
     "Raye, I'm sorry..." I began, getting out of her bed.
     She reached out and took my hand. "I want to...thank you..."
     "Why?"
     "You...made me feel...less ashamed...."
     "Ashamed of what? There's nothing to be ashamed of."
     "Yes there was. I had loved Darien ever since the day I laid 
eyes on him, and..."
     She couldn't continue any longer, and I held her in my arms 
once again. 
     "I realized that I can get over him. With your help?" she asked 
uncertainly.
     "I'll always be here for you."
     "I know," she said, holding me tighter.
     I released her and drew back, admiring her in the clear light 
of the morning. She was still as beautiful as ever despite the 
puffiness of her eyes and a few spots of blood between her legs. 
She didn't seem embarrassed that she was still naked, and slipped 
on a nightgown.
     "I'm going back to my room," I said.
     I opened her door and ran into Grandpa.
     "CHAD! RAYE!" he screamed in surprise.
     "Wait, I can explain-"
     "THERE IS NO EXPLAINING TO DO! GET OUT!" he 
screamed at me,  and the little bald man looked like he would have a 
heart attack.
     "Please, Grandpa!" I cried, holding his arms and trying to 
shake some sense into him. "It's not as it seems-"
     "GET OUT, CHAD! NEVER COME BACK AGAIN!!!"
     "Grandpa!" Raye cried, standing up and running to us. "Chad 
can't go!"
     "Why? I told him not to touch you! EVER!"
     "He didn't!"
     "HE DID!"
     "NO!" she cried, dropping to her knees.
     'Just say you love me,' I prayed, but I knew she couldn't say 
that, even to keep me here. I had to leave. 
     "I guess this is goodbye," I told her, started out of the room.
     "CHAD!!!! DON'T GO!!!" she screamed, and tried to run after 
me. Grandpa was still strong despite his age, and managed to restrain 
Raye back.
     "I'm sorry I never gave you a Christmas present," I said to
her before I left her room.

     Silently, I packed my suitcase and took my guitar. I walked 
out of the Cherry Hill Temple and Tokyo with a heavy heart and an 
anguished soul.



                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^




     Years passed. Many years. I was too heartbroken to contact 
Mr. Wessel and Aspire Music, therefore postponing my career 
indefinitely. I still lived a posh life, and that was because of my 
inheritance. 
     I never heard from Raye.
     Now I was living in the rich city of New York in the heart 
of Manhattan, living my life on the edge and finding myself a 
different girl every night. Meaningless one-shots, but I never 
met another girl or woman like Raye. It was a hopeless search.
     Through the news and Internet, I learned of the formation of 
Crystal Tokyo and information on the Sailor Scouts. I saw pictures 
of Raye, and even saw her on television. It was hard to ignore her 
as she became more popular day by day from her singing and piano. 
People still haven't figured out that she was both Raye Hino and 
Sailor Mars yet, and they probably never would. Her secret would 
be mine and the Scouts'.
     It was almost Christmas. I was thirty years young now, and 
I was the most eligible bachelor in all of New York, almost as
popular as JFK Jr. a couple years back before he hooked up. I was 
on the Forbes's 500 list despite all my spending sprees and my 
penthouse apartments. 
     I didn't have a steady girlfriend. The longest relationship 
I ever had was about two weeks ago, which had lasted for about a 
month, and it ended in a bitter fight. She was from Julliard, and 
possessed a talent for piano and singing unlike Raye's. Heck, she 
even looked like her. 
     "Every time you make love to me, you see her face, don't 
you?" she screamed in our last conversation. "Not MINE, but hers!" 
she screamed again, taking a hold of the only picture I had of Raye 
and throwing it across the room, shattering the glass frame.
     "No!" I cried, but it was too late. One of the last pictures I
kept of Raye and just another relationship down the drain.
     After that incident, I was scotch-free of girls for a while. 
     
     I sat on the floor beside my fireplace, trying hard to 
meditate. I had kept up my ronin training. After all, a ronin 
was a masterless fighting warrior, and I certainly did not have 
a master any longer. The fire in my huge fireplace blazed brightly, 
making me remember Raye. Again.
     "Aw, shit," I cried as thoughts about her broke my 
concentration. I hated it when her face popped into my thoughts.
     Snow was falling in New York, and it was almost as cold as 
Tokyo's winter. I couldn't help but shiver when I thought about 
going outside. I decided to stay home today, and listen to music 
while I practice my moves in my studio.
     My studio wasn't a recording studio. No, no, no. My guitar 
was lost somewhere within the dark corners of one of my apartments. 
This room was a simple, barren, concrete-paneled room specifically 
designed for training and fighting. 
     I had the abilities to fight even the most skilled warrior in 
Japan or elsewhere, and my fighting talents were fueled by my anger. 
The anger I felt for my own stupidity and unnecessary anger towards 
Raye. 
     I turned on the radio. Unfortunately, it was tuned to the 
classical station (when did that ever happen?), but I left it on. 
Mozart sonatas were playing. I heard somewhere that Mozart could 
make you smarter, and I wondered how it would help me fight better.
     I started out with two hundred situps hanging upside down from 
a bar. I liked the "washboard stomach" that I had acquired from such 
intense training. Sweat dripped off my brow as I pushed myself harder 
and harder against the force of gravity.
     "Argh!" I cried as I did the last situp, number five hundred. 
It was the most I'd ever done.
     I let the blood rush into my head as I hung upside down for 
a few more moments. My legs felt numb from losing circulation. 
Sweat practically leaked out of my eyes.
     I flipped off the bar and landed on my feet with the agility 
of a cat. Now it was time for the pushups. Fifty regular, fifty 
knuckles, and fifty claps. Nonstop. 
     The pushups were a lot easier than the situps, but were 
still murder to my hands. I wondered why I was pushing myself 
so much today as I finished the most tedious kinds of pushups 
known to mankind. After completing the sets, I took a long gulp 
of thirst quencher, letting it run down my glistening chest.
     The music. The radio was playing the Apassionata.
     "Oh god, not again," I moaned as I threw the plastic bottle 
away. Why did I have to be tortured and reminded every second of 
the day? I didn't choose to be tortured. Or was I *chosen* to be 
tortured? "Damn this," I said, but I couldn't bring myself to shut 
off the radio.
     I started to do a series of kicks. Seven, eight, nine, ten. 
Left leg. Right leg. I kicked wooden blocks, broke them, kicked 
the punching sack, broke it clear through hell.
     Then I began the punches to the air. It was almost like 
dancing, the way I moved. Flawless, liquid movements of my arms 
combined with the steps of my feet as I punched the invisible 
enemy. Myself, I thought.
     "What's wrong with me?" I asked as I almost cracked my arm by
breaking several bricks. Somehow, I felt proud of my accomplishments 
today, but the pain wasn't worth it.
     After my long workout, I decided to cool off my body by taking 
a drive into the sleazy parts of town. I felt in need of a new girl 
and a drink.
     Drunks littered the streets as I drove through the cracked
pavement and past the burned buildings of New York's underworld,
Harlem. There were drug dealers and pimps everywhere, and it gave 
me a sense of pleasure knowing that I could beat the crap out of 
them any day.
     I wandered into the usual bar that I went to whenever I was 
in need of a real break. It was a private dance bar, where only 
the most notorious of gangs could go to. My personal enjoyment.
     Basically, it was a whorehouse and a drug haven. The lights 
were black light, making everything look neon and eerie. There were 
spotlights everywhere, and on the runways were the most voluptuous 
dancers on the face of the planet. It seemed legal to sell drugs 
here; almost everybody offered me a joint or a sniff of angel dust. 
I never took drugs in my life, but I had my good share of alcohol 
and girls. Still, I didn't need the drugs to fulfill my enjoyments.
     The dancers were pretty good today. Real pretty, almost natural, 
for once. I even met a nicer, less slutty girl, and we had a drink 
and talked. She sat by me at the bar, naked on the top and willing 
to do anything I asked. 
     "You're that rich guy, aren't you?" she asked, shining her 
blue eyes at me. I bought her another scotch, of which she'd 
already had four.
     "Who says I'm rich?"
     "A girl can tell," she whispered, and grabbed my member through 
my pants.
     Okay, she wants me, I thought. Just another girl.
     Suddenly, I felt hands on my shoulders, slamming down on my 
blades and almost breaking them. 
     "Get the fuck off my girl!" the man screamed, getting ready 
to punch my lights out by lifting his fist.
     "Your girl?" I asked, and spit in his face.
     
     Big mistake.
     
     He wiped the spit off his face and cracked all of his knuckles. 
"Why don't we take it outside? C'mon, lemme beat the shit out of 
you," he said, tearing off his shirt and revealing his lean muscles.
     "Good luck," his girlfriend said, tossing her panties to me.
     "I don't need it," I said back in a cocky attitude, then 
pocketed her panties. This enraged her boyfriend even more.
     He didn't say anything, but he motioned for me to join him 
outside. Like obedient dogs, his "men" followed him, and so did I. 
This was a good chance to show him just what he was dealing with.
     It was cold outside. Freezing, in fact. Snow gave the ground
an inch of a new, white blanket of winter. The bar, which seemed so
high tech on the inside, looked ragged on the outside, just like the
buildings that surrounded it.
     I circled around the man, and tore my own shirt off, flexing 
my pectoral muscles.
     "Oohhh, lookie here. Thinks he's all that," he said, looking 
at his friends and laughing at me.
     While his head was turned, I executed an aerial kick and 
almost broke his jaw. 
     "You little shit," he said, wiping blood and a tooth from his 
cut lip. "You're gonna pay."
     His comrades surrounded me and began attacking me. 
Unfortunately for them, they didn't know the first thing about hand 
to hand combat, and I practically killed all of them with my powerful 
kicks to the temples of their heads.
     I was standing proud amongst the fallen, groaning bodies when 
another group began to approach me. I beat most of them too, but now 
I had become weary and tired, not to mention severely wounded by 
several knife cuts.
     "What do you want?" I asked the leader, rubbing a bulging 
bruise from my cheek.
     "Here's a present," he snarled, and pulled a .45 revolver out 
of the front of his jeans. "No, I wasn't happy to see you."
     
     Time melted slowly as the bullets whizzed by and struck me in 
the shoulder, then again in my thigh. I was glad he had horrendous 
aim. I fell down with a scream, and my head hit the pavement. I then
realized that I was going to die alone.
     
     "We ain't in Japan no more," he said as he stood above me, 
pointing the gun at my head.
     
     "MARS FIREBIRD STRIKE!" a voice screamed as I saw fire 
take shape of a phoenix. There was a small, rectangle piece of paper 
that routed the phoenix's path. The kanji read: 'defeat the evil spirits.'
      The man screamed in horror as he was consumed by the burning 
flames of the firebird.
     "Chad!" that same voice cried, and I saw a maiden's form 
approach me before I faded into unconsciousness.
     
     The world closed in to infinite blackness.



                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


     I heard the music again.

     Apassionata, right here in heaven.

     Or was it Hell?

     I couldn't tell the difference.
               


                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


     "Chad?"

     God, was I groggy. My head felt like it was squished under a 
steam roller. My limbs were aching, and I felt like I would scream
any second.
     Slowly, painfully, I opened my eyes. 
     "Raye!" I cried, my voice barely above a whisper.
     She was sitting next to me, applying a wet cloth to my head. 
"Yes, it's me. I saved your butt at the bar, you know. You were 
brought to the hospital yesterday, and slept through the entire day 
after the doctors pulled out the bullets."
     "Why...did you come back?"
     "I needed to see you after more than ten years."
     "How do I look?"
     "Like shit."
     I laughed, but ended up in a fit of coughing. "Really, I look
much better than this," I said, patting my chest.
     She shook her head, which had hair longer than I ever imagined.
Raye was absolutely gorgeous now, with a sharp, classy look that
demanded attention. She had on a mohair sweater and tight, sleek 
pants that fit perfectly on her perfect body. Thinking about how
she looked underneath made me feel hotter than a few seconds ago.
     "What made you think you had the power to fight the gangs?"
she asked sternly. "Just because you were trying to prove that you
were all macho and all masculine doesn't mean that you have to
risk your life, Chad. One day, you're going to thank me that I
appeared at the nick of time."
     "What are you doing? Playing mother? I have a right to do
what I want to do," I retorted sarcastically.
     "Look," she said, bringing up my hospital gown collar with her
fist, "I saved your life. If I wasn't there or if I didn't *care* 
for you, you'd be pretty much fucked up."
     "Okay, okay," I said, trying to back her off. 
     "I'm glad you understand," she said, easing her grip on my 
collar.
     "Just what are you doing in America anyway?" I asked.
     "Um...I don't know. I needed some time off from protecting 
Serena and from being head priestess of Tokyo. It's amazing I still 
have time to play piano from a little bit," she answered, picking 
some petals from the carnations she held in her hand.
     "How...how's your life?" I asked her.
     "Great, just great..." she said, sighing.
     "Really," I said, sounding a little sarcastic.
     "It IS," she fought back, picking a few lint balls from her 
mohair sweater. "And how is your life, Chad?"
     "I never took Mr. Wessel's offer," I said.
     "Mr. Wessel?" she asked, confused.
     "Oh, that's right. You didn't know about the recording session
he offered me. I left Japan before I could do anything about it," I
answered, my voice cracking slightly.
     "I'm sorry about Grandpa's command. I wish you could have 
stayed...to help me through."
     I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Did you...?"
     "No, no. Not that," she answered quickly. Maybe a little too
quickly. "Grandpa...died after you left."
     "What? No."
     "He was old, Chad. Tired. You gave him a reason to live. 
You went away, and you took that reason with you. You should 
have stayed at the temple despite his anger towards you," she 
said, tears brimming in her eyes.
     "I'm so sorry for you."
     "No. It's not me you should feel sorry for. It's yourself."
     "What?"
     "Didn't you know that Grandpa never meant for you to go away?
He didn't know what he was doing! He would have gotten over his 
anger. You surprised me," she said, staring at me fiercely. "I 
always thought you were the rebelling kind. Like how you acted 
towards your parents, for example. You never listened to them. 
Why did you listen to Grandpa?" she asked, sobbing and laughing 
at the same time. 
     "I killed him, didn't I?" I asked, my swollen eyes filling with
my own tears of self-blame.
     "No, I didn't mean to imply that. I'm saying you should have
been there for him and for me. You were the strength we held on to."
     I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently. I smiled, the
tears escaping my eyes and falling freely down my cheek. She smiled
back, a warm, genuine smile. 
     "I have to go," she said, standing up.
     She left a small bouquet of red carnations on my hospital 
dresser, and took her purse. Just as she was about to open my 
hospital room door, I cried, "Raye!"
     "Yes?" she asked, looking back at me.   
     "I want to thank you for saving my life."
     She smiled and left my room.

                    ***********

     It was a couple days before I could get back home. The doctors
were afraid of a risk of infection from my stab wounds and gunshot
wounds. Once I was back home, though, I decided to invite Raye over
for a nice, personal dinner. She didn't contact me after our meeting
at the hospital, and I didn't know where to reach her. I'd make
sure I found her, though. I needed to thank her properly for saving
my life. 
     "Now, where would Raye go?" I asked myself, wandering Fifth 
Avenue. My leg still hurt, and my shoulder hurt even more. Walking
in the freezing temperatures made my pain worse, but it was 
manageable.
     I looked at the department store displays, checking out the
nice jewelry, clothes, and countless other items that I could afford
with a flick of my credit cards. Right then, I noticed that I took
everything for granted. Not only material things, but life itself.
I had risked my life as easily as I could have risked a few dollars.
     Passing several beautiful women didn't stop me as it usually
did. Raye's return in my life made me turn away from other women. It
was like she cast a spell on me. She intrigued me, moreso than ever
before. Her charms, her grace, her beauty stole my breath away every
time I thought about her in the past couple days.
     Now I was on the search of my life, I guess I could have called
it. I wanted to celebrate the coming Christmas with her. I wanted to
catch up on all the time we lost in the past ten or eleven years. 
She had grown up considerably, both physically and emotionally. Me, 
I think I've become immature. Without her, I became hopeless.
     
     I spotted her.

     Just walking lethargically, I spotted her walking into Saks
department store. At least I thought it was her. I ran as fast as 
my wounded legs could carry me, and I touched her shoulder.
     Boy, was I in for a shock.
     "What the hell do you think you're doing?" a woman asked, 
definitely not Raye.
     "Um...uh...I was looking for someone else," I answered nervously.
     "Well, make sure that you know who you're looking for!" she 
screamed at me, and slapped me for touching her.

     New York. Typical people.

     "Damn," I cursed as I made my way out of Saks. Raye was on my
mind way too much, and I could practically picture her face on 
everybody who walked by. Did I love her that much?
     
     "Chad," a voice spoke.

     I whirled around and saw Raye standing in front of me with 
many large shopping bags. "Help me here," she said, handing me a 
few bags.
     "Raye, I was just looking-"
     "So was I," she said, smiling. "How are you feeling?"
     "I'm fine, now that you're here," I said.

                         **********

     "You mean you still have to wear that horrendous priestess 
dress?"
     "It is *not* horrendous!" Raye exclaimed, dropping a dumpling
into her mouth.
     We both sat at my leather couches, eating out of Chinese take-
out boxes and laughing loudly. These were the good times, yeah. Her
shopping bags were still here, and she decided to stay for dinner.
     "Where are you staying?" I asked, cramming a egg roll into my
mouth.
     "The Waldorf Astoria," she answered simply.  
     I almost choked on my egg roll. That was one of the most 
expensive hotels in New York, and I only went there for special 
occasions. Imagine. Me, the one of the richest guys in New York.
The Waldorf Astoria was usually a hotel for royalty, presidents,
and world dignitaries, a showcase for celebrities, and a heaven
for honeymooners. I lived close to it, and yet I only went there
a few times during the year.
     "Where'd you get the money?" I asked after swallowing.
     "Um...well, I gave many performances in Japan, and you know...
lots of money for each performance."
     "You must be pretty popular in Japan."
     "Yes."
     "How about here in America?" I asked her, stuffing another
egg roll in my mouth.
     "Um...uh...actually, I'm here to perform in Carnegie Hall."
     I almost choked on my new egg roll. After swallowing quickly,
I gave her a hug. "That's great!" I said. "It was about time to
show America your stuff. Maybe you'll be as popular here as you
are in Japan."
     "Yeah, I hope so."
     She chewed thoughtfully on vegetable chow mein, an obvious
favorite. I remembered that she always liked vegetable pizza, 
classical literature...oh god, I must be going nuts thinking and
remembering everything about her.
     "Raye..."
     "Yes?"
     "Would you like a tour of my penthouse?" I asked.
     "Most certainly! I want to know just how rich you are."
     "I think you know already."
     "Then I want to see how much you've spent."
     "Not enough to expire my account."
     "Aw, geez! Just show me your apartment!" Raye exclaimed, 
giggling.
     I took her hand and I led her to the entertainment room filled
with several big screen televisions and a pool table. There was also
a large Bose sound system, and the high skylight ceiling helped the
surround sound. 
     It was very dark inside because of the moonless night, but I
switched on a single soft, yellow light at the side of the room.
The light gave a feeling of slight romanticism, just what I wanted
for Raye.
     "This is so much," she said, in awe at her surroundings.
     "Wait'll you see everything else," I told her.
     I led her to the bathrooms, which were kept impeccably clean 
and sparkling by the biweekly maids. Roses and perfumes scented each 
of the three, but not too heady a smell, just enough to leave 
you feeling light and airy. I also had jacuzzis the size of small 
pools in each of them, and I could see Raye drooling over them. 
     "Those jacuzzis are twice the size of the ones at Waldorf," 
she breathed.
     "Maybe you could try one out one day," I suggested, but 
immediately regretted it. She looked at me sharply, but avoided my 
gaze. I did want to see her in the flesh, but I felt like I couldn't
touch her. She didn't love me, and I didn't want to make her do 
anything she didn't want to do, especially after how she felt about
Darien...
     "You know, I just might," she said, smiling wickedly and 
running out of the bathroom into my bedroom.
     She stopped in her tracks, obviously surprised by the size
of the room. There was a larger-than-king size bed by the wall,
with a flowing canopy of ruby silk, black in the night. A single
water fountain was situated in the center of my bedroom, its
gentle waters sounding peaceful and lulling to the ears. 
     "I take it this is your bedroom?" she asked, walking to
the balcony. 
     "Yeah, it is. Big, isn't it?"
     "Why does everything have to be so large? It's not like there
are a lot of people living here," she said, opening the balcony
sliding door.
     I followed her out onto the balcony overlooking Manhattan. 
The night was dark, but the many lights of the great city lighted 
up our features prettily. A cold winter wind swept past us, but 
the snow only remained on the roof.
     "I needed the space...to..empty out..." I began, looking at
my shoes.
     "What?" she asked, taking my arm in hers.
     "To...get over...my...love for you," I told her with great
difficulty.
     She didn't answer. I think she was too stunned, but it was
hard to tell. I never got an response.
     "Chad..." she said, looking into my eyes.
     "Raye..."
     I tipped her chin up and kissed her gently, tasting her soft
lips after what seemed like an eternity of loneliness. She was more
feminine, more pure than ever before.
     Our lips brushed gently, softly, unhurried. The passion was
there, yearning, but suppressed under the heavy hearts of guilt, 
shame...
     "I can't do this, Raye," I said, separating from her.
     It was her turn to be disappointed, for the first time. "Why?"
she asked, grabbing my arm.
     "It's not right."
     "It feels right, Chad."
     "How can you be so sure?!?" I asked, a fury blazing across my
eyes.
     "Because this time I'm not in love with Darien!" she cried,
tears filling up her dark purple eyes.
     "How can you be so sure?!?" I reiterated, spinning around
furiously, turning my back to Raye.
     She placed a hand on my shoulder. "I did get over him, and
without your help. But it wasn't an easy road for me without you
to guide the way. I wanted you there to help me after what happened
that night! Remember?" she asked, her voice breaking. "I was in pain. 
Not only physically, but emotionally. I even thought about killing 
myself. You weren't there," she said, sobbing. "You weren't there!"
     I heard her crying, just like the night before I left. I 
didn't know what to say to her, but my own tears started flowing.
     "I'm so sorry, Raye," I said, finally turning around to her
and giving her a reassuring hug. "I'm sorry I left Tokyo, I'm sorry
I left your father, I'm sorry I left *you*..."
     "Oh Chad! The nights I spent, alone and scared, the thought
of hurting myself again..."
     I embraced her tighter, and let her cry on my shoulder. I
felt safer somehow, and I didn't know why, but I did. Maybe it
was the relief of knowing that she was all right. I don't know. 
     "It's okay, I'm here now," I said. "Let's go inside. It's
freezing."
     She nodded and wrapped her arms around my waist. I led her
inside and she started sneezing.
     "Achoo!" she sneezed.
     "Cold, huh?" I asked, letting her sit on my bed.
     "I think so."
     "Is it nice back in Tokyo?"
     "No snow yet," she said, lying down slowly. She took a pillow
in her arms and snuggled up in the satin down comforters.
     "That's good. How are...how are Serena and the others?"
     "They're as fine as they'll ever be," she said, yawning.
     "I miss them a bunch. I wish I could see them, just once. 
You know, Raye-"
     I looked at her face, and realized that she was sound asleep.
Her delicate beauty of sleep almost made me cry. I brushed a long
strand of hair away from her cheeks and kissed her.
     "Good night, my love," I whispered.
     Starting out of the room, I glanced at her face one last time.
     She was smiling.
     
     
                    ***********

     "OUCH," I moaned, sitting up.
     I stared at my surroundings, and noticed that I was sitting
in my small sofa in the entertainment room. The television was still 
on from last night's insomnia.
     "Shoot," I said, grabbing the remote control and flipping it
off.
     Morning sun flooded the room from the skylights, but the sleep
in my eyes still couldn't be rubbed out. The kinks in my back were
killing me from lying in an uncompromising position the entire night.
     "Hey, Chad," someone said.
     I looked to the door, and Raye was standing there, clad in
a terry cloth robe. 
     "'morning, Raye," I said, twisting my neck.
     "I think I would like a hot bath," she said.
     "Do you want me to drive you back to the Waldorf-"
     "No, I meant a hot bath in one of your jacuzzis."
     I was taken aback by her determined attitude.
     "Sure...uh, help yourself," I said, pointing to one of the
bathrooms down the hall. I lead her through the hallway into the
first bathroom.
     The room was completely dark despite the bright morning light, 
with the exception of one candle that burned brightly on the wall. 
There were about fifty candles lined up along the edge of the
jacuzzi, but weren't lighted yet.
     "Let me get these out of the way," I said, taking some candles
from the jacuzzi counter. I hope they didn't remind her of that one
time...   
     "No, it's okay. Leave them. I won't do anything," she said,
trying hard to smile. 
     She flung out a hand and cried, "Mars...fire...surround!" Out
of her finger, a long trail of fire blazed out and lit every single
candle. She was as amazing as I remembered.
     "Let me draw a bath for you," I said, and turned on the
faucets of my step-up jacuzzi. I heard her shed her robe behind 
me, and I knew I was stuck in a irreversible situation. I had to 
see her naked again.
     After a few moments, the jacuzzi was bubbling and hot. I
felt the steam rising into my face, and the heat flooding my mind.
"It's ready, Raye," I said, turning around.
     I still wasn't prepared to see her naked, even though I told
myself over and over to calm down. My jaw dropped at the sight of
her bountiful breasts, her slim hourglass figure, her long, long
legs, her...   
     "Thanks, Chad," she said, stepping into the bubbling, steaming
tub. Only her head remained on top of the water as she closed her 
eyes and leaned back into the black pillows that the jacuzzi 
supplied. "Would you scrub my back?" she asked, reaching for a 
washcloth on the counter.
     "Um...uh, well..." I stuttered. 
     "Come on," she said, looking at me and smiling.
     I walked up the single stair and sat at the edge of the 
jacuzzi behind Raye's head. She sat up a little and bared her 
shoulders for me, pulling her hair in front of her. I took the 
washcloth from her hand and began to rub in circular motions 
on her shoulder muscles and across her long neck. Her hair was 
draped over her chest, not allowing me to see her breasts, for 
now at least.
     "That's good," she moaned, sighing.
     I applied even pressure to her skin as the washcloth rubbed 
across. I could picture her smiling even though I was behind her.
"Do you want some oils?" I asked, reaching for a small glass vial 
of golden, perfumed oil.
     "Why not," she said softly.
     I plucked off the top of the vial and inhaled the scent. 
Sweet almond oil, her favorite scent. It wasn't unusual that most 
of the things around this penthouse were heavily based on my 
memories of her.
     Slowly, I trailed the edge of the opening along her shoulders,
letting the lingering oil spread down her back, chest and into the 
waters. I massaged the oil with the washcloth, letting the scents 
soak into her moist skin.
     "Wonderful," she said.
     Suddenly, she took my hand and pulled me down into the waters
with her. I cried out, feeling the hot water lashing out at my
still-healing bullet wounds. "Argh," I cried, gripping my thigh.
     "Sorry, I just had to do that," Raye said, giggling.
     "It's...okay," I said, trying hard not to sound angry.
     "Let me scrub your back now," she demanded, taking the 
soaking washcloth from my hand. "Take off your clothes."
     "What?!?"
     "Just do it," she said, placing her hands on her hips 
underwater.
     My clothes were completely ruined anyway, and I shed them, 
dropping the heavy sweater and jeans over the side of the jacuzzi 
and hearing a plop on the marble floors. I stood up in front of her,
my lower body underwater.
     "Lose the underwear," she added, grinning.
     "Why?" I asked, shocked.
     "It was about time I saw you naked," she said. "You've seen
me enough times through that hole in my wall."
     My face reddened and I felt more em-bare-assed than I ever 
did in my entire life. "I'm sorry about that," I said, desperately
trying to get her to accept my apologies.
     "It's okay. I understand men's testosterone-ridden minds."
     I smiled and loosened up a bit. I took off my underwear slowly,
and was proud that my dick wasn't in an erection...yet.     
     "Nice," was all she said, unable to take her eyes off.
     I sat down next to her before she could see anything. I 
wondered why I was so nervous around her, and not around other 
women. It must be the spell she put on me, her and her priestess 
ways. Or maybe it was just my insecurity about myself.
     I turned my back to her and she began to massage my tense 
shoulder muscles. My bullet wound was still painful, but with her
touch came a relief to the pain that accompanied it. The water was
so hot I forgot about the pain in my leg.
     Her palms ran across my biceps, feeling the hard muscle that
was there. "You've been ronin training, haven't you?" she asked, 
running her hands over the muscles of my back.
     "Hell yeah," I said, loosening up my back.
     "For yourself, or for Grandpa?"
     "Both."
     I felt her nod and she scrubbed my back slower. By now, the
vial of oil was floating empty, and the waters were filled with
the scent of sweet almond. The smell would probably linger there
for a few days after.
     Her lips grazed against my neck softly, and I shivered. She
dropped the washcloth into the water and massaged my pectoral muscles
with her fingertips.
     "Uhh..." I moaned, my own nipples becoming slightly erect as
Raye ran her fingers over them.
     She pressed her upper body to my back, and her breasts mashed
onto my back tenderly. Her knee pressed against the side of my torso,
urging me to turn around and face her.
     Raye flattened her palms against my chest, running them in 
large circles, massaging them, and exploring them. "Chad, you 
look so different; yet you look the same," she said staring 
into my eyes.
     We kissed again, and this time it was much more passionate.
My tongue parted her lips, and I tasted the vegetable chow mein
in her mouth and almost smiled. Our bodies became closer and closer, 
and soon I could feel the tips of her pebble-like nipples against 
my own.
     My hand went to her breast hesitantly, and she nodded in 
approval. The first touch enchanted me. Never did I feel a breast
so soft, so luxurious. Her breast filled my palm perfectly, and 
I looked down as I placed my thumb on the erect center, only on
the very tip.
     She moaned and brought my other hand to her breast, beckoning
for me to touch her. I cupped both breasts in my hands, touching
her nipples and kneading her silky flesh. She was absolutely 
stunning.
     I was painfully erect by now, and the jets of hot water 
teased with my penis. I wanted her so badly, and I realized at
that very moment how much I've always wanted her.
     My knee slowly parted her legs, gently and with patience. She
didn't close them; instead, she parted them quickly. Underwater,
she took my rigid length into her hand and guided it into her hot,
moist paradise.
     I kissed her neck as I entered her. She felt like a wonderful
force, silky and powerful, as she drew me into her body.
     "You are my first," she whispered.
     "Oh, Raye," I moaned as I eased my way inside. 
     "I know I'm not yours."
     I kissed her chin lightly. "In my heart, you are."
     She smiled through tears and kissed me again, pinning me to 
the edge of the jacuzzi. The muscles in her womanhood squeezed me 
sensually as she began to move up and down on my penis, increasing
the intensity of her grip each time. The sudden envelopment and
wet pressure made me smile as I nipped her neck softly.
     I gripped her arms as she squeezed me harder than ever. 
Practiced control over the years taught me to stay calm and match
her motions, which I did by thrusting my hips upward into her
pelvis. She gasped as she felt most of my manhood sliding in to
the hilt.
     Her muscles tensed up and she completely locked as she came
to her first climax. I leaned over and pressed my lips on hers 
as multiple spasms wracked her beautiful body. 
     "Chad!" she cried after separating our kiss. Her body stilled
for a moment as she took my face in her hands. "I want you to come
back to Tokyo with me before we go any further..."
     "Anything for you, my love," I replied, kissing her one last
time.
     I helped her out of the jacuzzi and handed her the terry cloth 
bathrobe. If she wanted to wait for more of my undying love,
I wouldn't complain. She deserved the best.
     
                    ************

     "Wonderful pianist."

     "Extremely talented."

     "Plays with her soul."

     I overheard all of these comments as I sat in the box seats 
of Carnegie Hall. It was the night of Raye's performance, and soon
she would be performing the exciting, difficult Saint-Saens piano
Concerto number two. I sat at the very edge of the high balcony,
watching the strings tune up. 
     This wasn't the first time I listened to Raye play a concerto.
Her first one was Mozart's number 27, with Tokyo's orchestra. She
was on television, and she was fantastic. She had incredible stage
presence, with her cool calm and sophistication when she played.
     Her music was the personification of herself. She was powerful
and in control when she played, just like she acted when she trans-
formed into Sailor Mars. I could remember at that moment how many
times she's saved me from various monsters of our past in Tokyo and 
the attackers from a few days ago. I also remembered how many times
she had come close to dying herself.
     Suddenly the soft yellow lights of Carnegie hall dimmed down
and the great hall became silent. 
     Raye walked on stage with an air of dignity, and took a nice,
long bow in front of the Steinway concert grand piano. She sat 
down slowly, fanning out her long, luxurious red satin and black
lace evening gown. The concertmaster played his A string to tune
up the orchestra for the last time, and then all was silent once
again.
     One chord. The low, haunting sound grabbed the attention of
every single person in Carnegie Hall. I listened intently as Raye
proceeded on with her cadenza, or solo. Then the orchestra joined
in, backing up her piano playing. She played majestically, without
a single flaw.
     She received a standing ovation after playing. I think I 
clapped the longest, I was so proud of her. 
     After coming out five more times to bow, people shouted 
"Encore! Encore!" Raye sat back down on the piano, smiling to
the audience.  

     She played the Apassionata.
     
     She put more passion into the piece than she ever did in
her entire life. I watched her as she played, and sometimes I
caught short, slight glimpses from her as she looked up at me
from the center stage.
     Why was she looking at me? I thought about the many questions
that I've asked myself over the years, and discovered that most
of them were never answered. It was frustrating at times, and
now it was more frustrating than ever.
     She played through the three movements brilliantly, and
of course without a single flaw. Perfect, passionate, and 
awakening to your senses.
     Bowing to the audience after her performance, she looked
at me again. Her expression bore into my soul. She seemed to
grip at my heart from her mind, and that drove me crazy. I
remained glued to my seat, unable to take my eyes off her. 
She put me in a trance with her liquefying gaze.
     She only played for the first part of the concert at 
Carnegie Hall, and the other half was a symphony played by the
New York Philharmonic Orchestra. Which meant that she was free
for me to see her backstage.
     I left the box seats and went out into the red-carpeted
hallways, where I bought two tall glasses of bubbling champagne.
The best for the best. I found my way through the building to
the backstage, and I showed my pass to the personnel.
     "You a friend of Raye Hino?" the woman asked.
     "You could say that," I said.
     "You seem like a very close friend," she said with a knowing
look.
     "And just what are you implying?"
     "Nothing. You can go in," she said, smiling. She ushered me 
inside the room.
     There, I found Raye speaking with the conductor of the 
orchestra, among various other people. The room was spacious,
with several sofas and a table filled with good food.
     "Chad!" she cried, running to me.
     "You were great out there," I told her, handing her a glass
of champagne.
     "Thanks."
     One of the men in the background stepped up. "Is this your
significant other?" he asked, smiling.
     "Um...well...yes," she said finally. "Chad," she said, taking
my arm, "This is Mr. Tucci. He's my agent."
     I took the hand of Mr. Tucci and shook it. He was a sharp, 
intelligent looking man, wearing a silk suit and tie. I glanced
at his left hand. Married.    
     I almost cried, "GEEZ!" but restrained myself. What the hell
was I thinking? Was the first thing I thought about any man that
Raye was associated with was whether he was married or not.
     "Nice to meet you," I said with clenched teeth.
     I took a long sip of champagne, and happened to drain the
entire glass. 
     Raye led me into a corner of the room. She seemed excited about
something, and pulled out two plane tickets from behind her back.
     "Come back to Tokyo with me. Now," she said, smiling.  
     "Raye!"
     "Why not?"
     I took her into my arms and kissed her.
     Mr. Tucci, along with some of the orchestra members, shouted
and hooted. We smiled at them and Raye told them that we were 
leaving.
     While we were out in the hall, I took my plane ticket from
Raye's hand. "Why are we leaving so soon?"
     "Don't you want to be back in time for Tokyo's Christmas?"
she asked, pulling on her long winter coat.
     I realized that today was Christmas Eve.
     "Of course."

                    **********
     
     "OMIGOD, IT'S CHAD!!!!"
     "CHAD!!"
     "Merry Christmas!"

     It seemed like the girls were hounding me back at the airport.
Raye had informed the other girls that we were coming in, but now
I think she regretted it.
     "It's been sooooo long," Lita cried, hugging me fiercely.
     "Yeah," Mina added.
     "How are you?" Lita asked.
     I looked at her. She had changed quite a bit over the years,
blossoming from a tomboy into a ravishing beauty with long brown
hair and sparkling green eyes. "I'm great," I said. 
     "I heard about you being gunned down," she said with concern.
     "Nothing to worry about," I said, rubbing my shoulder.
     "Good. Just so you know, Serena and Darien are expecting their
first child, and...I think her name will be Renie."
     I looked over at Raye. Her face was stone blank.
     "Where are they anyway?"
     "At some meeting back at the Tower. I hope you stay here in
Tokyo," she said, hugging me once more.
     "Chad?" a voice asked uncertainly.
     I turned around and spotted Amy. It had been so long since 
I've last seen her or talked to her, and I was just stunned by 
her sudden appearance.
     "Amy! You've changed a lot," I said, eyeing her over.
     "Yes, I'm a doctor now," she said, smiling.
     "I'm happy for you," I said, hugging her.
     Mina stepped up. "We have a present for you," she said, handing
me a small box.
     Carefully, I peeled off the wrapping paper to discover a music
compact disc. Of my songs.
     "How...where?" I asked, surprised.
     "I took them from your computer," Amy said, blushing.
     "I don't know how to thank you guys," I said, smiling brightly.
     Raye piped up. "Well, we have to get going! I have to show
Chad to the Temple..."
     The girls nudged each other's ribs behind our backs. I knew
what they were thinking. I also thought about that too. Why would
she bring me back to the Temple anyway? To drudge up old memories
or create new ones?

                    **********

     "Chad, I think we should see Grandpa first," Raye said, 
and I opened the door of my rental car for her.
     We had finally arrived at the Cherry Hill Temple, and snow
had started falling lightly. The Temple looked the same as it
always did, except...the life seemed to have gone out of it. 
There were no people visiting today to give libations to their
god, or to buy some of Raye's lucky charms. It was empty, lonely...
lifeless.
     It was Christmas Eve here, and the night was arriving. 
The dusk was dark, and it was almost too dark to see clearly,
but several lights illuminated the Temple's buildings and stone
courtyards.
     Raye took my hand and led me to the cherry tree orchard
behind the temple, where she liked to spend her spring and summer
afternoons. The trees were bare, and some leaves covered the 
ground.
     We walked around until we reached a small marble stone
whose flat surface showed through the grass. It wasn't the 
traditional gravestone; the stone here was put into the ground
the way people did it hundreds of years ago, flat against the
ground and hidden by grasses and shrubs.  Raye nudged away
some leaves and grasses with her boot, revealing the kanji that
was scribed on the flat marble.
     "He was my grandfather on this world," she said, tears
escaping her eyes. "My biological parents died, and I was
handed over to him. He took care of me like I was his own
child. I never knew my real parents, here or back in the MK.
All I remember was Grandpa and shattered images of Queen
Serenity taking care of me."
     "Don't dwell on the past," I told her, holding her tight.
     "I've always wondered about my true origin," she continued.
     "As long as you are who you are, it doesn't matter where 
you come from," I assured her.
     "Oh Chad, I miss Grandpa so much," she cried.
     "As do I," I told her. 
     I let go of her, and she led me to the front entrance of
Cherry Hill Temple. She opened the sliding door, and I stepped
into the main room.
     The Temple looked the same as I remembered it, but it needed
some life. No fires were burning, no people milling around, and
no Grandpa to touch the souls of those people.
     "What do you want to show me, Raye?" I asked her as she used
her Mars fire to light the main fire in the center shrine.
     "I want to show you how much I care for you," she said, taking
off her winter coat.
     Underneath, she revealed a lovely kimono, red silk with 
imprints of flowers. I didn't know when she had time to change
from her concert gown into that pretty kimono, but I guessed that
it was on the plane.  "Let me make this a wonderful Christmas. 
We couldn't share the last one together," she said.
     She began a dance, waving her arms up and down and trailing 
fire behind her like ribbons. She was doing a traditional Japanese
dance, in honor of her Japanese ancestors here. I've seen her do
this dance at festivals Japan held every year, and I knew the
importance of them to her. Since there was no music, I decided
to supply some, even though it wasn't in traditional Japanese
style. I walked over to the compact disc player by the edge of 
the room, plugged it in, and plopped my recordings in.
     My music began, haunting my memories of the days I spent in
my studio, recording songs endlessly. Some of them would be rock, 
and some of them would be pop. As I discovered when I got older,
more and more of my songs would involve less drums and more
guitar.
     Raye danced to the slow beat of one of my more favorite 
songs, closing her eyes and feeling the rhythm. "Join me," she
said.
     I unzipped my winter coat and draped it on a low table. I
walked over to her and took her arms. She discontinued her 
Japanese dance and held my hands, pressing her body to me.
     "Raye..." I said softly.
     The main fire burned brightly and hotly, like my love for
her.
     She looked deep into my eyes and kissed me again.

     It was just me and Raye. Hidden away from the real world.

     My tongue invaded her mouth and tasted the sweetness of her
breath. Our tongues played with one another, sliding up and down,
creating wonderful and unusual sensations. We kissed fervently,
with our passions unrestrained.
     "I want you," she moaned through the kiss.
     "I've always wanted you," I added.
     She kissed me harder, running her fingers through my hair.
I could feel the mounds of her breasts push up against my sweater,
and I placed a hand inside her kimono. She didn't wear a bra.
How convenient.
     Her nipples felt like small stones against my palms as I 
caressed my hand lightly over them. I used one hand to cup her
breast and the other to untie her kimono from the back as she
kicked off her shoes.
     I pushed the kimono off her body and stared at her in the
orange light of the fire with one of my hands on her breasts. She
was more beautiful and more perfect than I ever imagined possible
of a woman. All she was wearing was a pair of red Hanes Her Way 
and white socks. Simply sexy.
     Her eyes stared up at mine, and she smiled. 
     "Make love to me," she said in a low voice.
     I nodded and proceeded on with kissing her. Soon I became 
adventurous and started to trail across her chin, cheeks, and 
ears. I could smell the sweet almond parfum that she had
dabbed behind her ears as I licked her neck.
     Her hands started wandering up my shirt and caressing my
back while I kissed her precious neck and slightly sweet skin.
She pressed me harder against her body with her arms, bringing
me into the curve of her smaller body.
     My tongue escaped my lips and made a soaking trail along her
shoulder blades, making them glisten in the light. She moaned 
softly and turned her head to the side, closing her eyes.
     I took her arm as I helped her down to the soft carpeting 
beside the warm fire. We sat up and faced each other, looking 
at each others' faces. Then I let my tongue have a mind of its 
own as it trailed along her shoulders, arms, hands, fingertips. 
The scent of almond lotion on her soft skin made me think of 
my favorite dessert, almond tofu with fruit.
     My mouth sucked in her firm fingertips, and my tongue 
played with each of them. She giggled and smiled at me.
     She then removed her wet fingers from my mouth and placed
them under my sweater, leaving some wet marks on my stomach
and chest. I shivered as she lifted the sweater over my head. 
She had such a way of touching people.
     Her still-wet fingers traced the ripples of muscles on
my hairless stomach, lingering for a little bit before traveling 
up to my pectorals. She pushed me down to the ground and pressed 
her mouth against my nipples, running the surface of her tongue 
over the hard tips. It was like reversed roles.
     She bit harder, and tugged firmly on one of them. I could
feel my penis hardening right in my jeans. I moaned and she 
pressed her dominant weight against me, squishing my pelvis
with hers. That cause me to jerk up a bit, and I smiled.
     Her tongue deliberately took time going down my stomach
once again, and dipped into my belly button twice before kissing
the small amount of pubic hair that was scattered sparingly
below my navel. Her neck nudged against my erection as she
descended lower and lower.
     "I want to touch you," she said, taking the zip of my fly.
     "Go ahead," I said, looking down. My legs were parted and
up, and her head was between my legs. God, she turned me on.
     Slowly but surely, she pulled the zipper down, taking care
not to catch my huge lump in the zip. She seemed surprised by
the size of my dick in clearer light than in the jacuzzi, but
she gathered up her nerve and slid my jeans down my legs. First,
she took off my boots and socks, and then the jeans were thrown
over her shoulder.
     "You are in control now," I told her, smiling widely.
     "I know," she added with an evil grin.
     She kneeled down on her hands and knees and delicately
kissed the top of the lump formed in my boxers. I gritted my 
teeth and grabbed clumps of the white rug that I lay on.
     Her hot breath penetrated the thin fabric of my boxer shorts
as she let her wet mouth rub all over. She breathed in and out;
each breath in brought almost freezing air, and each breath out
brought hot desire. 
     Raye brought the lump into her mouth and sucked it through
the boxer's material. She was really brave by the force she 
demonstrated by sucking on my dick, like an endless vacuum. All
the while, her buttocks were up in the air, and I could see the
round curves outlined by the light of the fire.
     She had enough of sucking on the bland fabric. Her fingers
hooked onto the elastic and quickly pulled my boxers off. I could
swear, my penis popped up faster than a speeding bullet. I didn't
feel as embarassed as I did the first time she saw my manhood.
     The tips of her fingers pressed along the base of my dick,
applying pressure in just the right places. I wondered how she
knew how to handle a man, by the way she demonstrated her touching
techniques. Or maybe it was just her own instinct.
     "Shit," I moaned as she closed her hot, moist lips over the
head of my cock. Her fingers played with my balls as she lowered
her mouth over my length. She drove me crazy by tickling her
bottom teeth against the bottom of the head.
     "GOD!" I cried, pulling out some yarn from the rug.
     Her tongue applied axial pressure to the tip of my member,
pressing hard and licking up the precum that had formed at the
top. Her mouth then dislodged from my dick, and she began swirling
her tongue around the head like a lollipop. I tried not to look
at her because each time I did, I came closer and closer to 
exploding.
     She enveloped the whole length in her mouth, using her tongue
to frantically lick all over the surface. I tried hard to hold my
load in, but it was no use. She could do what no one else could do.
     "ARGHHHH.........." I cried as I came right in her mouth.
     I gasped as millions of lights were shooting right before my
very eyes. Her performance was amazing, and I was more shocked than
anything. I balanced myself unsteadily upon my elbows as I continued 
to let my breath out in short bursts.
     White cream leaked out of her mouth, and I could see her
sucking away like a baby. She practically sucked the life out of
my cock, drinking in the cum. She didn't cease at all; she kept
on sucking until I had gone limp in her mouth.
     "Wow....Raye," I breathed, shaking my head.
     She left my penis and advanced over me, pushing me down
once again. She kissed me, and I tasted my own ejaculation in
her mouth. Tart, I thought. It was unusual to taste myself, but
I found it incredibly arousing.
     Some cum was still left in her mouth, and she gladly 
shared the saliva-diluted solution with me. We kissed like 
there was no end, and she dragged droplets of my own cum
over my entire face.
     I stopped her by placing a finger on her lips. "It's my
turn," I told her.
     She nodded for me to go on. I rolled her on to her back,
and I kneeled in between her legs. At first, I explored the 
area tentatively, deliberately skipping over her covered 
womanhood and caressing her firm inner thighs with my hands. 
This proved to be quite arousing indeed by the way her scent 
started to fill the air.
     I peeled off her simple panties and discarded them in the
fire, where they ignited a bright flame.
     My fingers manipulated her pubis as I felt her bone through
the mass of silky, glossy black curls. I let one of my hands 
wander to her stomach, and I began to tickle her.
     She couldn't resist laughing. It was like the old times
when I used to tickle her until she almost cried from laughing.
     "Chad!" she cried, giggling.
     Just like the old times.
     I tickled her for a few more moments, and suddenly realized
that I had become erect once more. She did have the most amazing
effects on me.
     Stopping the tickling, I looked down at her slit and 
noticed that she was leaking a little of her own juices. She
must have been aroused by my tickling. I separated the soft
folds of her dark labia, searching for that little pearl that
brought women so much pleasure. Hers was glistening already,
and it felt hot and moist in between my fingers.
     She moaned and tossed her head from side to side. Her 
hands went under her thighs, spreading them wider for me to
have much better access.
     "My god, you're perfect," I whispered as I separated her
folds even more. Some of her love juices were dripping out 
slowly, like a cream, and coated my fingers as I inserted my
index finger into her tight channel.
     Her muscles accepted my thin finger, pulling it in with
a power I never knew women had. I let another finger slip in,
and used my thumb to circle her erect clitoris. My hand pumped
in and out, and the muscles in her vagina responded by pulling
my fingers in even deeper.
     She gasped, and looked like she was about to climax when
I pulled my fingers out. 
     "WHAT?!?" she practically screamed.
     "This," I said, and licked her open folds with my tongue.
     Her body was overcome with spasms as she climaxed for the
first time this night. While I tasted tart, she was sweet like
honey, delicately tasty. I licked her with spiraling motions of
my tongue, increasing the speed of my tongue with great
frequency. She shrieked as another climax hit her, sending 
her into quivering shakes.
     "Uh!" she cried as she swallowed with her difficulty. 
Sweat glittered on her breasts, and I could see the quick
pitter-patter of her heartbeat. She gasped hard, and brought
a hand to her chest, trying to catch her breath.
     "I'm so hot..." I moaned, kneeling in front of her and
letting my burning erection brush against her knee, which was
propped up. I slid my palms up and down her smooth thighs,
trailing a little of her own cum along them.
     "I want you inside me," she cried.
     I positioned the head of my penis against her throbbing 
vaginal lips, then inching in a little bit at a time. This was
so much more different than back in the jacuzzi, because I had
time to savor every inch of her wonderfully silken insides.
     She squeezed my cock so hard I thought she cut off the
circulation. I loved the appealing bliss of her hold on me,
and I slid in further. She was the best, most fulfilling
woman I had ever been with, and what made it even better 
was the fact that I loved her so much.
     "Raye, I love you," I cried as I buried myself deeper
inside.
     "I know," she moaned as she arched her back against the
soft carpeting of the rug.
     "Do you know how much?"
     "Yes!" she screamed, climaxing once again. Her inner
muscles gripped me even harder than before, and I almost
lost it right then and there.
     I began a rhythmical pumping, and the pulsation of her
vaginal muscles urged me to propel faster. Our hips moved
at a contenting harmonic motion, forward and back, spiraling.
I pressed forward, and she withdrew. It was the perfect 
symphony of movement with me on top and her beneath me.
     Suddenly, she wanted to change positions. With great 
skill, I helped her roll into an upward position without losing 
our union. It seemed like she loved this position more, with
her dominating over me.
     Her hands entwined with mine as she leaned forward,
squeezing my shaft. She began a rapid succession of pinching
and contracting as she slid herself up and down my pole.
The tips of her breasts occasionally brushed against my face,
and I took a wine-colored nipple into my mouth.
     The socks that covered her feet tickled my kneecaps
as she became more agitated. She closed her eyes and moaned
loudly as she sat up straight across my hips, leaving my hands
alone and caressing my pectorals instead. My own hands shot
up and grabbed a soft breast in my palm. I could feel her
wet nipple press against my palm as I kneaded her breast.
     She pulled all the way up, held it there for less than
a second, then came crashing down, slamming her crotch on
mine. It would have been painful except for the fact we were
both aroused beyond words.
     Again and again, she repeated this trick, but each time
she did, her muscles tightened harder and harder, and the
small passageway of her vagina seemed to shrink into nothingness.
She was giving loud cries and wails of passion, and I joined
her with moans and grunts of my own. Our sweat mingled as
our breathing became harsh and hurried.
     "oh...god...." I cried.
     "shit..." she responded.
     "UHHhhhhhh......!!!!!!" I moaned as I erupted inside her
like a volcano.
     Right then, she stiffened up, and screamed as one hell of
an orgasm took over her entire body functions. She locked up and
her eyes rolled back as she clenched the life out of my cock.
     My climax was unbelievable. I must have shot a lifetime
worth of my load into her, because I didn't know when I ended.
or when I began.
     
     Our bodies were a pendulum in time and space, trapped in
a world of our own.
     
     She collapsed onto my chest, spent and tired. I also felt
the same way, and I could feel my still erect penis lodged within
the deep depths of her body.
     
     Time passed slowly, one grain of sand at a time. I didn't
know how many hours we spent laying beside the fire, listening
to the staccato beat of our hearts.

                    ************

     Christmas Day. I was certainly in the spirit as I woke up
the next morning, loving the memories of the wonderful night of
lovemaking with my only love.
     White light of the morning penetrated the thin screen 
doors and windows of Cherry Hill Temple. I sat up, yawning, 
and spotted Raye sleeping soundly on the rug. Her cheeks were
pink with life, and I could swear she was smiling in her sleep.
     "'morning, love," I whispered, kissing her nose.
     The phone rang, but it was conveniently switched on the
quietest mode. Who could be calling? I thought Raye had the
phone lines disconnected now that she was living at the Crystal
Tower. Or maybe she was planning to move back in here...
     I answered the phone in the kitchen quickly. 
     "Hello?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.
     "Chad Kumada?"
     I was surprised. Why would this person be calling *me,* of
all people? Hardly anybody knew of my little rendevouz to Tokyo.
     "This is Mr. Wessel. Aspire Music."
     I almost dropped the phone.
     "Yes?"
     "Your friend Lita contacted me again, and she presented me
with the compact disc of your recorded songs. I must say, I am
pleased, but disappointed. Why did you give up the offer I made
to you about ten years ago?"
     "Well...uh...personal reasons," I sputtered out.
     "I am willing to offer you another chance," he said.
     "Really?"
     God, I sounded stupid.
     "Yes. I want you to come in to Aspire in America and meet
with the American branch. I'm happy to say that the high-tech 
quality of their studios are much more defined than the ones
here in Japan. This is how much I'm willing to offer you to 
tape, but only in America," he said, then told me the salary.
     I didn't know whether to jump up and down or collapse. 
The price tag he wanted to attach on my album was more than
what I could ever imagine possible. It was even more than the
money I had in my account. It blew me away.
     "Uh...." I wiped my brow of the sweat that formed there.
     "Yes?" he asked expectantly.
     "I'll take it! Besides, I'm an American citizen."
     "Are you," he asked with doubt.
     "Yes. That's where I've been the last ten years," I told him.
     "I see. I'm at Tokyo International. Your jet is waiting."
     He hung up.
     I held the phone in my hands, staring at it.
     "He must be kidding," I told myself.
     I then realized he wasn't. I put the phone back in its 
receiver and leaned against the wall. Maybe a drink would help.
     Opening the refrigerator, I was dismayed to find it
empty except for a few old cans of Sprite.
     "Shit," I moaned. I wanted to spend Christmas with Raye,
not stuck in a jet or cooped up in some recording studio. Sure,
it was a lot of money, but I didn't really need it anyway. 
Spending time with Raye was more precious than all the money 
in the world.
     I wandered back to the main room, and Raye was still
sleeping. I noticed her eyeballs twitch rapidly in her sockets.
     
     "Darien..." she cried out in her sleep.

     Shit. Damn. Screw. Fuck.

     I just couldn't believe this.

     "How could you do this to me?" I asked in disbelief.
     
     I slipped on my clothes  as quietly as I could, and rushed
out of the door. Unfortunately, Raye was woken up by the slight
racket I caused.
     "Chad?" she asked, hastily slipping on her kimono.
     She went outside and was surprised to see that I was 
getting into my rental car. 
     "Where are you going?" she asked.
     I didn't answer her, and shut the door.
     She ran down the stone steps despite the chilling snow 
that covered it. She rapped on my window, and I had no choice
but to roll it down.
     "What?" I asked.
     "Why are you leaving? I thought we could make more love,"
she added, touching my arm.
     "Love? HOW CAN WE? YOU'RE STILL IN LOVE WITH 
DARIEN!" I cried at her.
     "No," she protested. "I'm not!"
     "So why the fuck were you saying his name?"
     "Huh?" she asked, bewildered.
     "RIGHT NOW, YOU DID!" I screamed. I had to let my emotions
out some way or the other, and I hated physical abuse. But I knew
that words could hurt equally. "And you know what else?" I asked,
lowering my voice to a low, dangerous level. "You don't love me.
Not once, NOT ONCE did you EVER say you loved me!"
     Her face reddened and tears flowed free.
     "Besides, I have a plane to catch."
     "It wasn't just a one night stand!" she cried.
     "Oh really," I retorted sarcastically.
     "It was much more than that," she said, desperately trying
to win me back.
     "I'm not sure what to think any more," I said, rolling up
the window. I drove away as quickly as I could, and I didn't
look back at Raye, the Temple...or my life.

                    


                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^




I came back to reality.

     Now both of us stood in an embrace, and I felt for
certain that she was truly sorry of ever uttering her former
love's name. She still had her arms around me, and I glanced
back at the awaiting jet.
     "I can't go," I told her, and she smiled through her
tears.
     "What made you change your mind?"
     "My love for you."
     She smiled and took my hand in hers. "I know I've loved 
you ever since I met you. My love was just hidden, compressed 
and locked away for a rainy day. You were always there for me, 
through good times and bad...true love. You wanted to see me 
happy despite the cost of your own emotions."
     She was right about that.
     I still had doubts deep in my soul about her love for
me. Even though we were together, mind and body, I still
questioned her love for me in her soul. Was she committed
to me entirely, or was she still picking up the broken
pieces of her love for Darien? The Apassionata sonata
suddenly popped into my head. It was her song for him, and
back in New York, she seemed to have played it for me.
Was she really playing out of her love for me, or was she
still thinking about her first love?

     I guess I will never know. 


                    ~Finis~   

     




NOTE: 

1. E-mail me! aerdnahu@ctdnet.acns.nwu.edu
2. I would like to give thanks to my editor, Aqua Illusion. 
(MercAqua@aol.com) THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!