Episode #53 No Need For Brothers "...... Don't come back without killing Kyoto, Hiroto." The ominipotent voice will forever cling to the fringes of Hiroto Minamoto's mind. Ever since his brother, Kyoto, had imprisoned him in the bowels of eternal damnation, he has longed for a chance to strike back at his supposed brother and send him to take his place in this pit of eternal darkness. His wish had finally been granted, even though it had taken him 12,000 years of tedious study of the dark methods to his gifted powers. He had studied under the guidance of his Lord, Bellzebub, the brother of the Evil master, Hades. "I will not fail you," he says, resting a hand on his sword. Seated on his right shoulder is his companion, and spacecraft, Hiro-kon. He had created him a long time ago to keep him company, and as an eventually means of escaping this pit of eternal torment. "Come, Hiro-kon." The jet-black winged cobra hisses, then jumps into the air and begins to change. Within seconds he is a ship and floating menacing above his master. "Let's go, Hiro- kon!" Hiroto is engulfed in a brilliant column of purple light, then vanishes. A second later, he is seated in his floating command chair on Hiro-kon's bridge. We're ready to leave, master, he thinks to his master. Moments later, the space around his Hiro-kon is replaced with a purple haze of psychedelic energy. "I'm coming, brother." * * * "....I don't give a damn, just get the blasted shipment in by Wednesday!" Kyoto slams the reciever down, not giving the individual on the other end a chance to protest. "Another rice shipper?" Ryoko gingerly places a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah, it makes me wonder if everyone in both Okayama and Tokyo is an idiot." He turns around and enfolds Ryoko in his arms. "Are you still sure you want to do things on the up and up?" "Yes. I've always worked for what I wanted, even when I was a space pirate." "But, Kyoto, why not just use some of your powers, you know, manipulate their minds or something." Ryoko pouts a little. "You've been so preoccupied with work that you haven't spent enough time with me." She begins to trace her finger in a circle on his chest, working ever so slowly downward. "I know, but this is important to me. I want to be able to support us, so we can have a family. You know, so we can have kids, like you wanted?" Kyoto is about to say more when he catches a certain glow in Ryoko's eyes. "Oh, you mean that kind of time." "Uh, huh." Her hand has wandered down to his crotch. Kyoto has got the message. He swoops her up in his arms and carries her up the stairs to their room. As the door slides shut, one can hear, "Oh, Kyoto!" * * * "Have you seen this person?" Hiroto flashes the badly worn photograph back and forth in front of a small gathering of space pirates and smugglers. "Who wants to know?" asks a tall, muscular-looking one with an eye patch over one eye and a tatoo of an anchor on one arm. "Does it matter? You'll still get the same amount of gold for leading me to him." "Look, Jim-bob, we 'ere space pirates got a code of honor amongst one another. We don't rat on the others unless ya' got a pretty powerful reason that for it." The muscular one draws a small blaster out of his belt. "Now, ya either tell us what be ye' looking for him fer, or ye' gonna have a hole in yer chest!" Hiroto smirks. "I don't think that's very wise." He waves his hand and the blaster flies out of the pirate's hand and into Hiroto's hand. "Now, have you seen Kyoto?" "Yes, yes! He and another space pirate, a girl by the name of Ryoko, decided to settle down on some dern' backwater planet." "Where is he?!" Hiroto barks, clicking the hammer back, drawing a shiver from the space pirate. "I don't know! He didn't say!" This is the last word out of the pirate's mouth. A second later he is slumping to the ground with a hole the size of a basketball in the center of his chest. The smoking barrel of the blaster comes within inches of his lips as he blows the trailing smoke from the barrel. He then slides the still warm gun into the side of his boot and seats hmself at the counter. "Beer, please." The bar keep, a rather nervous and shaky fellow, quickly complies with the customer's order. He claps the beer mug down in front of Hiroto and quickly steps away." "It-it-it's o-on the house." Picking up the frosty mug and blowing some of the froth off, he takes a large swig, then slams it back down on the counter. "Good beer." He brings his left hand up and in the palm appears a small, purple-black sphere. "Here, a token of my appreciation." He tosses the sphere to the bar keep and rises from his seat and heads out the door. The barkeep flumbles with the sphere rotating it over and over in his hands, trying to figure out what just happened. A second later, it explodes. Hiroto watches from the bridge of his ship as the large space station implodes, leaving a new black hole. He smirks. Fools. Never trust a space pirate. * * * Seated at the empty table in the Masaki house, Kyoto slowly clicks characters into the keypad of his hololaptop. After several hours of consequenial hammering, the screen blinks twice and miles of text pour across the screen. Most of them are letters from fellow space pirates, or letters from police stations across the galaxy confirming the cancelation of his wanted files. However, as he scrolls down through the letters, one in particular catches his eye. It is concerning the report of a mysterious individual on a manhunt for him. Kyoto reads the letter for a few seconds before skipping on. He thinks, There have been over a thousand people on a thousand different worlds that have tried to catch me, none have suceeded..yet. Ryoko wanders into the dining room and starts to massage Kyoto's shoulders. "What do you want for dinner?" she asks. "You would be nice," replies Kyoto, leaning his head back to look up at her. "No dessert for you, until later," she scolds, gently. "What are you working on?" "Oh.... just this and that." He keeps what he's found out to himself, not wanting to upset her or get her worried. Unfortunately, for him, Ryoko has not lost her nosyness. "Lemme see! Okay, you got a letter from Kazaki, nice to see that she beat that planetary destruction rap.... I'm glad to see that Hopposai is still alive and kicking.... and here we have.... Who's Hiroto?" Kyoto scrambles to deactivate the computer. "Uh-uh-uh, nobody!?" Ryoko gets a playful expression on her face. "An old girlfriend?" Kyoto takes on a confused expression. "I don't think so..... Could it have been that girl on-- No, no, it couldn't have been her..... Or maybe-- Nope, not her either." Kyoto spends several minutes reminiscing on his past lovers. His chain of thought is broken when Ryoko abruptly drops into his lap. "Hey, pay attention to me!" She presses her lips to his and they lock for several seconds into a duel of tongues. It probably would have gone farther, but Mihoshi chooses this moment to burst into the house. "I'm home!!" She holds up two giant bags of Chinese food. "Who wants Chinese?" "I do, I do!!" Washu comes rushing out of her lab towards Mihoshi. Unfortunately, Digital Washu has come rushing out of the kitchen at the exact same moment. They end up slamming into each other. Nobuyuki chooses this moment to walk into the house carrying two bottles of sak‚. "Hi, everyone, I brought drinks!" Washu instantly springs up from the pile of Washu on the ground. "Nobuyuki! You're home!" She rushes up to him and throws herself at him. She locks her arms around his neck in a near-suffocating embrace. Nobuyuki moans in a combination of pleasure and pain. "Hi, Washu, just let me breathe." "Hi, everybody!" Sasami, at fifteen filling out nicely, walks into the house, a carry-on bags slung over one shoulder. "Hi, Sasami!" cries out Mihoshi. "Where are your Mom and Dad?" Sasami sticks out her tongue. "Back on the ship.... being naughty!" "They do that an awful lot, don't they?" comments Nobuyuki. Sasami nods and giggles in response. "Uh, huh. They're naughty all the time!" In the midst of this, no one notices Kyoto and Ryoko quietly slipping up the stairs. * * * Somewhere around Antares, there is an old space station. The old mining refinery looks like it has seen better days-- which it has -- but that doesn't keep it from being inhabited right now. The space pirates and mercenaries who frequent this establishment call it the Black Whole, because it is a good place to slip out of sight for a while. Consequently, most of the services there are generally pleasure related, giving it an almost dangerous appeal. Even the Bounty Hunter, Nagi, has stayed away from this place, probably because she has so many enemies there that she and Ken-ohki would be vaporized before they could get past the first defense grid. However, no one disturbs the black, serpentine starship that sails into port there. The Pirate's Cove is one of the more popular bar-and-brothels --the equivalent of a bed and breakfast-- at the Black Whole. In the lower level, Pirates of every imaginable gender and species are getting drunk and consorting with every imaginable kind of courtesan. And all of their attention is drawn away by a sudden dimming of the already murky lights. Abruptly the doors swing open and dark, purple smoke starts to waft into the chamber. A collective shudder runs through the patrons and employees at Pirate's Cove as a lone figure steps through the door. The figure is tall and cloaked, a wide brimmed hat and a scarf obscuring his face. Only his blood shot, slitted eyes are visible. He has a long, black lacquered cane topped with a cobra's head. He drifts across the room, seating himself at a table in the darkest corner of the bar and sets his cane in the corner. Gradually, the atmosphere of the bar returns to some semblance of normal as a waitress approaches the figure masked in eerie cimmerian. "What would you like to drink?" "Nothing." The girl quirks an eyebrow. "This bar has a three drink minimum. If you're going to stay here, you're going to have to order something. Now, what will you have?" "Devil's Blood." The waitress's eyes widen and she gulps. "B-b-b-but, that's outlawed in this sector, by the GF." "Devil's Blood." With that, the figure extracts a large wad of wrinked bills and slaps it down on the table. "Make it two." The girl nervously counts the bills, confirms that they are legitmate, and bobs her head up and down. "C-c-c-coming right up." She reappears a moment later carrying the tray with a velvet bag and two large glasses on it. She dons an insulated glove and pulls the large, frost-covered bottle from it's cover. She then pulls the cork and pours the thick, malted liquid from the forboding, black flask into each of the glasses. He drains the first glass in one gulp, then reaches up with one un-gloved hand. "No! You have to--" The waitress cuts herself off as she sees the man grip the bottle and pour himself another drink without flinching. As he takes his hand away from the bottle she looks at his hand-- and gasps as she sees that there is no scarring! Timdly, she asks, "W-w-w-ho's the other drink for?" Without answering, he picks up his cane, and slams it through the table's other chair. The waitress jumps back a meter, and is extremely shocked to see the cane start trembling and then the lacquer crack and explode off, revealing a long, winged cobra the size of a boa constrictor. It slithers its way up onto the table, wraps its tail around the glass, then spreading its wings it up-ends the glass, consuming the contents in one gulp. It then looks up at the girl and says in a horrible Hispanic accent, "What the f--k are you lookin' at, bitch?!" He shoots a withering glare at the snake, and pulls a slightly smaller wad of bills out his cloak and gives it to the waitress. "Please, excuse my... companion's tactlessness." As she counts the bills, her eyes slowly widen. Finally, she stammers, "Sir, I can't accept this. It's so--" "You can, and you will. Now, leave me." He waves a hand at her, and she suddenly feels herself being pushed back gently. Pocketing the bills, she heads into the back. The snake glares up at its master. "Hey, you, mother f--ker, what the f--k you doin'! You wanna f--k that f--king bitch?!" "I don't know what you're talking about," says the man, coldly, shuting up the snake. The snake is about to retort when they suddenly hear a scream. They look over to see the waitress on the floor, crying and holding her face. Blood is trickling from one cheek, and the man thinks that he can see the source of this wound: a large, brutish man laughing and bouncing the wad of bills up and down in his hand. The snake looks up and sees the master's eyes starting to glow. "You want we to kick his f--cking ass, man? I'll kick his f--cking ass from here to f--cking Jurai! That f--cker is a dead man!" The man motions to the snake into a resting position, and his focus shifts to the girl. She becomes suffused with a soft white glow, vanishes, and reappears in his on his left side, enfolded in his embrace. His eyes soften, and he wraps his cloak around her. She looks up at him, tears pooling in her eyes, and he places his hand gently to her bleeding cheek. A white light outlines his hand, and when he pulls it away there is no wound and no blood. She looks up at him in wonder and abruptly hugs him tightly. Soon her breathing has become steady and shallow and he senses that she is sleeping soundly. He then looks down at his snake and nods. "Alright, it's party time!" The snake surges forward at the thief. The man is gently stroking the girl's hair and whispering soothing words in her ear. Somehow, this bubble of tranquility remains unbroken by the antics in the bar. The girl is unawakened by the sounds of gunshots and crashing tables and bodies. Even the disco beat of Carl Douglas's "Kung Fu Fighting" fails to rouse her. By the time she finally starts to stir, all can be heard in the bar is low moaning and a somewhat mexican voice yelling, "Hey, mother f--cker! Get the f--ck back here so I can kick your f--cking ass!" The girl's eyes slowly open, and the first thing she sees are the eyes of her rescuer. Even though she wouldn't have thought it when she first met, his eyes are warm and comforting and clear. She starts to cuddle up in his lap, but he immediately pulls back, blushing. "I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--" "It's alright," he says, stroking her face gently. "A flower like you doesn't deserve a hell such as this." "Hey f--ker, don'tcha mean such'a sh--" The snake immediately at the frigid glare from his master. She reluctantly leaves his lap and looks into his eyes. "You don't know me. I'm not the innocent flower you think I am." He also rises and takes her in his arms again. "As far as I'm concerned, you are. Come with me." All she can do is weakly nod, and relax into his embrace as she feels his cape start to swirl around them. The two of them vanish from the bar and the snake glares at the door, and then slithers out to find them waiting for him. "What took you so long?!" growls the man. "Hey, f--cker! I didn't do the teleportin' sh-t man! You took off without me, f--ck b-tt!" The man just glares at the snake and the serpent finally sighs. "Okay, boss, ready to go?" The man shakes his head. "Take the girl and go into orbit. I'll be along soon." Without another word, he walks off in the opposite direction. The girl starts to protest, but the snake coils around her feet, and collects her in a column of black-purple crystal, and slowly expands into a large, serpentine starship. The girl is looking with longing as the new space craft cracks through the dome, exposing the inerds of the complex to vacumm. * * * Tenchi throws up his hands in frustration. "I can't understand why you won't accept this offer of protection?! Jurai's navy is the most powerful navy in the universe! If anyone could keep that guy from getting to you, it would be them!" Kyoto releases a belly laugh. "The Jurai navy, come on, Tenchi! They couldn't even catch me! What are they going to do about a guy who is as strong as I am? Hmmmm?!" Tenchi rolls his eyes. "Well, you're not exaclty the most common criminal, now are you? Besides, even if they can't blow this guy away, they'd certainly be a big hand in a battle." "Yeah, and Ryoko is sterile." Tenchi fixes him with a glare. "Don't talk to be about sterility." "Yeah, but the goddesses made her able to have Tsunami, didn't they? Just remember one thing, if your guys get in my way, they're as dead as this guy is." Tenchi shoots him a grin. "Is that a yes, or a no?" Kyoto rolls his eyes. He about to add something when Ryoko comes down the stairs, soaking wet with her hair up in a towel and a tight, pink sarong tied around her body. Tenchi suddenly breaks out in a sweat and cups his hands over his eyes. "Kyoto! Come on, I'm getting cold!" Tenchi groans. "Don't you two know the meaning of self-control?" Kyoto shoots Tenchi a feral grin. "Well, Tenchi, you and Kiyone don't seem to demonstrate any self-control, besides, if I remember correctly, you invited us to come and live with you until we got ourselves set up." "Daddy?" Tenchi turns around to see Tsunami standing next to him, looking like the spitting image of Sasami at this age. "What is it, sweetie?" "Mommy sent this picture and told you to hurry up." Tenchi looks at the picture-- and his eyes bug out. Tsunami peers over at the picture. "Why is Mommy dressed up like a school girl?" "Errrr.... um, ah...." Tenchi abruptly stands up, almost knocking over the dinning room table. He leans over very carefully and gives his daughter a light peck on the forehead. "Good-night, sweetie." He disappears up the stairs, leaving the picture to gently float to a rest atop the table. Kyoto snickers. "And he was trying to lecture me about self-control....." "Will you play with me? It looks like Daddy's going to be naughty with Mommy." Kyoto leans over and pecks his de facto niece on the cheek. "Maybe later. Your Auntie Ryoko and I have some..... stuff to do right now." Kyoto then vanishes in a quick flash of emerald light and re-appears a second later on the stairs, only long enough to sweep Ryoko over one shoulder and disappear once more. Tsunami is left standing all alone in the living room. She is about to say something, when Chi-ohki bounds in. "Will you play with me?" Chi-ohki groans and wanders off to find a board game. They are soon joined by several other Ohkis in a game of Scrabble. * * * Detective Lieutenant Commander Snard of the Galaxy Police shifts around in his command chair. Only a handful of Galaxy Police officers get to see a Yagachi-class command carrier, and here he is commanding one on a shake down cruise. He is about to ask an orderly for a cup of ocha when the main tactical display starts beeping. "What the hell?!" he says. "Sir, we picked up a hostile craft on vector two-niner-six, matches the description of the algedged craft that attacked the Black Whole." The senior detective grins. This is a perfect opportunity to both prove this ship's worth and to get himself a promotion to Detective Commander. "Any habtial systems on that vector?" "The Vetta Minor system. The third planet in that system is habital, though no one lives there. It's been nicknamed Anthrax, after the bio-weapon." Snard hits a button on the right arm of his chair, triggering the "general quarters" klaxons. "All personel, stand-by for a class-one pursuit, all weapon systems to full power. We're going hunting." As the serpentine ship sails through space, a booming voice can be heard. "Hiroto!" Hiroto, just settling himself into the pilot's chair, looks up just in time to hear the voice echoing through his mind again. He claps his hands over his ears and keels over. "Leave me alone!" He barks at the omnipotent voice. "Hiroto, you have been distracted from your mission, do not forget why you are here!" "But--" Hiroto cannot muster the strength to argue anymore, because searing pain like unto that that causes death is channeled into his being. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he manages the words, "All right. You win." "You would do well to remember who is in charge." The dark presence vanishes from his mind, and the pain follows. When the girl comes onto the bridge a moment later, she is shocked to see Hiroto hunched over in his command chair. She rushes over and places a hand on his shoulder, making as if to reassure him. He abruptly springs out of his chair and pulls his sword, but when he sees the girl cowering in terror, he realizes who she is. His eyes, having been glassed over with obsidian, return to their normal azure, and he slumps in relaxation. Sheathing his sword, he sighs. "My appologies, my lady. It was....merely a dream." She blushes slightly. "No appology necessary, but I wish you would stop calling me your lady, it makes me feel that I am more than I am." "You are more than you believe you are. I can see your soul, and the dignity and beauty that have been buried these many years. What would you have me call you instead of 'my lady'?" "My name? My name is Kasami." "A lovely name, but it hardly does justice to you." He starts to pace around the bridge. "It appears that I have some.... unfinished business to deal with. I will leave you at a safe place. " "But, I don't want to leave! I want to stay here with you," she says, resting her head on his shoulder and nuzzling his neck. Their embrace is suddenly torn apart when the ship is rocked by a tremendous blast, sends Kasami sailing across the bridge and impacting with a bulkhead. "You must go, immediately!" He says, sweeping a hand in her direction. She vanishes in a flash of light, and rematerializes on the surface on Anthrax, in the pathway of a merchant. "What the hell was that?! Some mudda f--ker tried to ram laser blasts up my ass!" As Hiroto leaps into the command chair, he bellows, "Battle mode, Hiro-kon!" The serpentine ship starts to enlongate and streamline. Its normally jagged surface smooths to that of polished obsideon. "Lieutenant Commander, it's just sitting there-- Oh, my God, it's changing!" cries out the helm officer. "Full power to all forward weapons and fire!" screams Snard. The GPNS Kimichi's entire forward laser and particle batteries pour forth firepower that would nova a star. In the midst of this impressive blast, its target disappears, as if a fine mist that had never existed in the first place. "What the hell!" screams Snard. "That thing should be space dust!" He is about to order another barrage when its opponent suddenly appears right in front of the Kimichi. He roars, and all the Kimichi's guns begin to belch forth death. The broadside hits the hostile ship right in the bread basket. By all rights, that ship should be free particles. It's intact. In fact, the barrage seems to be spinning and cavorting around the ship, as if becoming a protective cloud or layer. Finally, the cloud stops, as if pausing, and without warning, blowtorches back in the direction from which it came. The last broadcast from GPNS Kimichi: "This is the Kimichi! We've encountered that rogue ship, and it--" Static. * * * "Breakfast is ready!" cries out Tsunami happily. Responding to this almost as enthusiastically as they would if it were Sasami who had just called this out, the occupants of the Masaki house file downstairs for the morning meal. Tenchi walks into the kitchen and picks up his youngest daughter, hugging her until she starts laughing and accusing him of trying to be "naughty" with her. "And what did you cook us this morning, darling?" "Fish and rice, Daddy!" she bubbles. "It tastes just the way Sasami makes it!" As they eat, they have to agree that Tsunami is getting the hang of cooking. Mihoshi seems especially appreciative, asking for thirds before the rest are finished with their first helping. Sasami and Tsunami cast mischievous looks at their parents. Kiyone is sitting in Tenchi's lap, and they're taking turns feeding each other. "Were you and Daddy naughty last night?" asks Sasami teasingly. "No," answers Kiyone. "Your daddy was very good last night." She gives him a long kiss. Tenchi just grins. "So that's what all the noise was last night," comments Nobuyuki. "That increased soundproofing did no good at all." "I could hear moaning and whimpering all the way up at the shrine," comments Katsuhito. Kyoto sighs and shakes his head. "I really wish you two would try to keep it down! I'm meeting with some important investors today, and they won't think much of me if I have bags under my eyes." Ryoko gulps. "That was today?" She sighs and shakes her head. "I'm sorry I kept you up all last night." Kyoto moans as a barrage of hoots and catcalls are sent in his direction. "Ryoko, dear, I really wish that you hadn't mentioned that!" "You two were naughty!" jeer Sasami and Tsunami. "You were naughty too!" Kyoto groans. Now, Tsunami and Sasami will be teasing him about this all day. At least I'll be in Tokyo all day, talking to the Yamada Bank, he thinks. As if a reading his thoughts, Ryoko asks, "Can I go to Tokyo with you too, Kyoto?" Kyoto nods, relieved. "Yeah, sure. I've been meaning to take you sight seeing for a while anyway." "Can we go too!" pipe up Sasami and Tsunami hopefully. "Sorry, but no. This is a grown-up trip." "Aren't I grown-up enough?" asks Sasami, fluttering her eyelashes and doing her best to look irresistible. Kyoto groans, for Sasami is almost irresistible. "No, sweetie, sorry. We'll be tied up in boring stuff all day." "You two are gonna be naughty, aren't you?" teases Tsunami. Tenchi saves his friend from having to answer this by placing a hand on Tsunami's shoulder. "Honey, why don't you let your mother and I take you and Sasami into Tokyo with us?" "Great idea!" puts in Kiyone. "We can go out for lunch, and then we can go sightseeing." She smiles dryly. "Of course, Tokyo isn't as exciting as Megami City or Anopon Center.." "That's all right, Mommy," chirps Sasami cheerfully. "This'll be fun!" Mihoshi gets up from the table, stretches and yawns. "Well, it's about time for me to patrol the solar system! I'll see you guys this evening!" She takes the small, pink spherical earring on her left ear and squeezes it. She vanishes in a sparkle of blue light. Everyone tenses for a brief second and Tenchi throws open the porch door. After about five minutes, Tenchi sighs and nods. "Good. She didn't beam into the lake this morning." "Well, now at least we won't have to listen to her whine about getting wet all morning," says Ayeka, taking another sip from her cup of tea. "Ryoko, would you mind if I went sightseeing with you today?" "No, but it's a long drive and our car doesn't have air conditioning. Are you sure you want to come, the weather man said that it's going to be another scorcher," warns Ryoko. Ayeka looks somewhat taken-aback. "Errrr, on second thought, why don't you tell me which mall you're going to and I'll meet you there after I get off the *Shinkansen." "Sure. I'll be going to the one near the imperial palace. Meet me at the karaoke bar on the second level." "You going in to work today, Dad?" asks Tenchi. "No, I think I'll go up to the shrine and help your grandfather take care of the grounds." "You're going to play video games, aren't you Grandpa Nobuyuki!" chirps Tsunami as she clears away the dirty dishes from the table. Nobuyuki shrugs. "What's the point of being the boss if you can't take a day off once in a while?" "Daddy,"coos Sasami, "can we go right now?" "Well, your mom and I have to clean up and dress first.." "Don't take too long, Daddy," says Sasami. "I wanna go to Shinjuku-" "I wanna go to Tokyo Disney!" interrupts Tsunami. "Can we please go to Tokyo Disney, Daddy?" Both Tenchi's daughters are in full irresistiblity mode. Tenchi and Kiyone exchange glances and a mental shrug, then Kiyone smiles. "We'll do both today, our cha'yas. Now let us change." And so everyone gets up and starts preparing for the day ahead. No one notices Chi-ohki dragging himself into the living room and slumping onto the couch. If they had, they might have seen him switch the TV to the interstellar satlink and turn to GNN (Galactic News Network). They might also have seen the special report on a mysteriously destroyed Galaxy police warship.. * * * "Hey, man! I want to stop for some Taco Bell! I haven't had anything to eat for two hours! I want a soft taco and bean burrito-" The snake is cut off when his master slams an angry fist down on the arm of his chair. "You've eaten enough for now, Hirokon! In the last six hours we've had to stop at over a hundred different fast food resturaunts! Your bottomless stomach is getting on my nerves!" "Hey, f-ker! I'm hungry! If we don't stop for food, then I don't go and we don't find this Kyo-guy you're lookin' for! And then the big boss gets mad and I end up having to scrap you off da' floor!" "Your'e about an inch away from becoming a snake-skin brief case!" Hirokon is silent for a moment, and then pipes up with another question. "Hey, man, what about McDonalds?" Without saying a word, Hiroto places a hand on each arm of the chair. A second later, a massive blue energy discharge arcs through out of the ship. "Hey, man! It was only a suggestion!" "One more peep from you and we're going to KFS." "Kentucky Fried Snake!! You wouldn't?!" He smirks, his eyes narrowing and starting to glow with unholy energies. "Try me." "Forget I said anything!!!" Hiroto smiles. "Go to hyperluminal." "Where we goin' man?" "That way." He pulls his sword from its sheath and the blade begins to exude an eriee cloud of energy. The tip of the blade is pointed in the direction of a familiar cluster of stars. "Hey, f-k breath! Who ya' think ya are?! Captain Kirk?" He shoots a glare in the direction of a crystal with Hirokon's face on it. "Okay, man! Whatever! Just none of that blue s--t, okay?" The ship goes hyperluminal and vanishes from naked eyesight. The last sound anyone hears is, "Hey, man, how `bout Arby's" Off in the distance, one can see something that resembles the detonation of a star. * * * "Yukinojo?" "Yes, Mihoshi?" "Can I have a cup of tea, please?" "Mihoshi! Pay attention to your work!!! The last time you did this we collided with Europa!! It took the Galaxy Police three weeks to find us!" "Well, you're the ship's computer, isn't your job to make sure things like that don't happen?" Yukinojo holds his peace and quietly grumbles to himself. He is starting to feel tempted to cause an emergency just to Mihoshi to react, when Yagami jolts violently to one side. "Ahhh! What happened?!" cries Mihoshi. "My sensors indicate that a space craft travelling at high velocities came rather close to us," reports Yukinojo. Mihoshi is silent for a long moment until Yukinojo says impatiently, "WE GOT BUZZED, MIHOSHI!" Mihoshi is still silent until Yukinojo asks rather pevishly, "Would you like me to follow it?!" "Um, would you make me some tea if you do?" If it is possible, one could swear that they saw the robot crying as it turned the patrol ship for pursuit. "Hey, man, do ya' want me to fry that thing?!" "No, we don't want to attract anymore attention, right now. Go into cloak and swing us back around Mars. We'll wait until that patrol ship lands, then proceed on to Earth." * * * "Kyoto, we're done working, can we go and play?" Ryoko tugs coyly at his arm. "And, exactly what are we going to do with Ayeka?" asks Kyoto, giving his mate a cold stare. "Give her some money and let her go shopping for a couple of hours. We're going to be in Tokyo for the next couple of days, we might as well enjoy ourselves." Both of them look with chagrin up at the resturaunt's small karaoke stage. Ayeka is attempting to sing a sentimental love song. However, while her voice is not really bad, several bottles of Mokowaka sak‚ have not done it any good. Consequentally, she is sounding like a road-runner with a sore throat. --BEEP-BEEP!- The doors slide open to admit... Tenchi, Kiyone and their daughters. All four of them look like a bunch of *gaijin tourists back from a day at Disney World. Both Sasami and Tsunami are wearing Minnie Mouse apparel and all of them are wearing Mickey Mouse ears. Ayeka stops in mid-song and stares at her family, her jaw lying on the floor, for a long moment before passing out. The sole conscious member of the audience, a short and squat man with thick glasses, waddles onto the stage and prys the microphone away from Ayeka. He starts to sing as Ayeka is carried off the stage by two waiters. Kyoto's eyes go wide as he sees the cheerful foursome, trying valiantly to sing the Mickey Mouse Club theme, approaching their table. Kyoto and Ryoko exchange one look and both teleport out of the resturaunt, leaving an unconscious Ayeka to foot the bill. Looking somewhat mystified, Tenchi and Kiyone steer their children out the door, deciding to seek dining elsewhere--after picking up Ayeka and settling her bill, of course. On the karaoke stage, the little guy is proving himself more than adept at holding a crowd spellbound with his voice. As they leave, he is crooning "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'." Several hours later, the four of them are back at the Masaki house, eating Korean take-out. They ended up having to go all the way home, because no resturaunt in Tokyo would serve them. Tsunami and Sasami are passed out, asleep at the table with their faces resting in their plates of food. They're still wearing the mouse ears. Tenchi smiles tenderly at his daughters and squeezes Kiyone's knee. "They're a coupla little miracles, aren't they, Kiyone-yoni?" he whispers. "Yeah, they're little angels." Kiyone stretches and yawns. "Let's get them up to bed." Tenchi helps Kiyone get Tsunami settled on her back, and picks Sasami up in his own arms. They carry them upstaris to the bedroom they share and tuck them under the covers. As Tenchi leans down to kiss Sasami good-night, her eyes flutter open and she smiles drowsilly up at him. "Good-night, daddy. Thank you for today." Tenchi kisses her on the forehead. "Good-night, Sasami cha'ya. We love you." "Love you and mommy too, Daddy..." Her eyes flutter shut and she falls back asleep. On the other side of the room, Kiyone completes the same ritual with Tsunami. Competely exhausted now, they stagger up to their bedroom and, not even bothering to undress, fall on the bed in each other's arms. Thye are asleep before they hit the matress. Meanwhile, in an other bedroom, back in Tokyo, a quite different ritual is being performed. Ryoko throws Kyoto down on the bed and straddles him. She is kissing him hungrily and tearing at his clothes. He is doing likewise, as he runs his hands up her thighs and begins to push her dress off her body. It isn't long before both of them are naked and their flesh is merging. They are in the middle of their love-making when a knock comes at the door. "Go-ooh-the-ah-hell-oowww-away!" barks Kyoto, throwing a shoe at the door. There is a moment of silence before a slightly stronger knock comes. "I'm in the middle of someone-I mean something, go the frick away!" There is another lapse of silence before a powerful knock, that tests the tenstile strength of the door, comes. "F-k off!" Along moment of silence passes as Kyoto sighs and resumes his motions. The air is suddenly filled with an electrical hum as the walls start to creak and moan. The door is blown from its hinges and imbeded into the far wall. A second later, a purple smoke begins to waft into the room, obscuring the doorway from view. The bed becomes an island admist the sea of purple-black smog. A dark, forboding figure levitates into the room, and stops short of the bed and brings one booted foot to rest on the edge. He tips the brim of his hat back, and glares down at them with eyes that are like polished-smooth spheres of obsideon. "Who are you?" barks Kyoto, shielding Ryoko as she takes one of the sheets and makes her way over to their long discarded clothing. "I am the epitomy of your darkest nightmares." "I have no nightmares and if I did, you certainly wouldn't be any manifestation of them." The dark individual swings aside his cape, revealing his serpent-headed sword. "What do you think you're going to do with that?" quips Kyoto. "Open a can of beans?" Off in the background, a mexican-sounding voice can be heard to say, "Did somebody say beans? I could go for a burrito right now!" "Silence!" barks the shadowy figure to the voice off in the distance. He then turns back to his main purpose and draws his sword, bringing the blade almost close enough to Kyoto's neck to draw blood. Kyoto yelps and vanishes in a puff of smoke. The dark man stands still, mystified, for a moment before he feels splitting pain in the center of his chest. He looks down to see a wide-bladed green energy sword sticking through his chest. From the pain, he can tell that it's a solid one, not one that will dissapate when its wielder relinquishes his hold. He spins around to face Kyoto, who has shifted into a fighting stance and has another energy sword in his hands. "Not bad." The dark man narrows his eyes and the blade suddenly shatters. "I give you twenty-four hours to set your affairs in order. At this time tomorrow, meet me on Mars. I have some..business to take care of with you." These last words sound almost ethereal, for their speaker is vanishing even as he speaks. Kyoto is dumbfounded for a moment before managing, "I have never met anyone so arrogant in my entire life!" "Never mind that," quips Ryoko. "Who the hell was that?!" Kyoto shakes his head. He is about to carry Ryoko back to the bed when she is suddenly enveloped in a column of white light. It fades after a brief moment, and she looks the same. Except for one thing: a collar around her neck. His heart almost stopping, he runs over to her and takes a close look at the collar. It is gorgeously bejeweled, and would look like little more than an expensive choker if not for the tiny LCD timer on it. The clock is counting down from twenty-four hours, and Kyoto suddenly hears the words in his mind: "If you do not meet me on Mars, the life of your Ryoko is forfeit." * * * Sunlight filters through the window of Tenchi and Kiyone's bedroom. Unlike most other married couples, a night without lovemaking is the exception to the rule. However, the previous day's event had completely exhausted them, and it was all they could do to stagger up and fall on their bed. Tenchi comes awake very slowly, the first thing he sees being the gentle rays of sunlight reflecting off his wife's face. He leans over and kisses her softly on the cheek. As if awake, she smiles and snuggles in closer to him. He hears a soft knock at the door. Slowly getting out of bed, so as not to awaken Kiyone, Tenchi pads over to the door and cracks it open, to see Tsunami looking up at him. "Sshh, Nami-cha'ya, your mommy's sleeping." Tsunami nods. "Sorry, Daddy." Her expression goes slightly mischievous. "Did you tire Mommy out last night?" Tenchi rolls his eyes. "No, you did, along with your sister. What is it?" Tsunami hugs her father tightly. "Thank you for yesterday, Daddy. I had a lot of fun." Tenchi's face melts, and he picks Tsunami up. "You're welcome, sweetie. We had fun too." He makes a funny face, causing her to giggle. "Now, was that all you woke your daddy up for?" Tsunami is about to nod assent when Sasami, also still in nightclothes, comes running up the stairs. "Daddy!" she cries. "Come look at the TV! Something's happened in Tokyo!" Tenchi follows Sasami down the stairs to find Ayeka, still in last night's clothing and still reeking of alcohol, staring at the TV. The reporter is wearing a serious expression on her attractive face. "..Authorities are still uncertain as to what has caused so much damage at this hotel..." Tenchi groans. "I knew it." "..And authorities are still trying to find the occupants of the room that took most of the damage, Kyoto and Ryoko Minamoto, but have so far been unsucessful. Ironically enough, they seemed to have left sufficent money to cover the damage to their room. From the Tokyo Hilton, this is Megumi Morisato, TV Tokyo." Tenchi shakes his head. "Ayeka, did you hear anyone come in last night?" "No, Lord Tenchi, I was sound asleep-Unless you count the pair of Jurai Trees walking on the ceiling." Ayeka looks up at Tenchi with blood shot eyes. "Why do you have Mickey Mouse ears on your head, Lord Tenchi?" Tenchi hangs his head. "Never mind, Ayeka." He smiles as Kiyone comes down the stairs. "Morning, Kiyone-yoni." "Morning,Tenchi-yon." Tenchi places his arm around her waist and kisses her on the forehead. Kiyone giggles and glances at the TV. "What's on?" Tenchi shrugs. "Kyoto and Ryoko blew up their hotel room, is all." Kiyone shrugs her shoudlers. "I warned her not to be so rough." Tenchi rest his head on her shoulder and kisses her neck. Kiyone giggles and wraps her arms around his neck. "Hungry?" she asks. "If you're food," he responds. "You're going to be naughty, you're going to naughty!" Sasami and Tsunami chorus. "Girls I think that--"Ayeka doesn't finish her sentence, and in a moment's time, Tenchi knows that he'll need to put in some new carpet. The door to Washu's lab flys open and Nobuyuki and Washu come out. Nobuyuki is in a body cast from his waist down and Washu is wearing a nurse's outfit. She has a syringe the size of a gallon drum clenched in one hand behind her back. Anyone can tell that this wasn't used for medical purposes. Nobyuki is moaning in pain. "Washu, I can't feel my ankles." "Nobuyuki, you whine too much. Now, stop whining or we won't have any sex tonight!" "That could be considered as a godsend." Tenchi moans and turns his gaze back to Kiyone. Her hair is still up in pig tails and the girlish expression on her face makes her irresistable. "Wanna play, daddy?" In response, he picks her up and carries her up the stairs. Tsunami and Sasami immediately start giggling and head into the kitchen to start breakfast. Washu shakes her head. "Your son has your hormones, Nobuyuki." "Is that a bad thing? Now, cut it out and get me some painkillers." * * * "So, in less than 11 hours Ryoko will die?" "Yes, that collar around her neck is a minature anti-matter bomb. When it detonates it will kill her and destroy anything within a 200 kilometer radius." "Shit. That's not good, is it?!" "No, baka cabbit, it's not!" The bridge of Chi-ohki is silent for a few minutes before Kyoto asks, "ETA?" "1 hour, and 35 minutes." The bridge is silent for several more minutes before Chi-ohki speaks again. "So, why haven't you tried teleporting the collar off Ryoko?" "Because, it's astral pattern sensitive. If I remove it from Ryoko the loss of her pattern will instantly detonate the collar. Neither of us will survive." "Wouldn't dying together be better than dying alone? At least then you both would go to the heavenly gates together." "I'd perfer to get out of this alive, thank you very much," hisses Kyoto. "If nothing else, I would like to at least see Ryoko get out of this alive. This is the only way I can see to do that." "But shouldn't we have at least told the others what was going on?" "NO! This is my fight! No one can interfere." Chi-ohki sighs. "Whatever, you're the boss." Kyoto doesn't respond. Chi-ohki sighs again. * * * When Kyoto appears, inside a network of caves under the Marshian surface, he is somehat surprised to see himself somewhat surrounded by tall, upthrust pillars of black marble. Directly across from him stands Hiroto, his obsidian eyes radiating a flame of malevolence. Kyoto refuses to accept this quietly, however. Quirking a grin, he quips, "You must be overcompensating for something. Do you feel inferior about your.." It takes a few moments for Hiroto to register this. But when he does, he spits a curse. "Enough with this insolence. Your soul is mine!" "Let's dance!" growls Kyoto, unsheathing Edgatho and drawing his body into a fighting stance. Hiroto grins through his facemask and draws his sword. "I'm game." Howling a war cry, Kyoto lunges at Hiroto, thrusting Edgatho forward. Hiroto peries, allowing Kyoto to soar past, and then strikes Kyoto on the back of the neck with the flat of his hilt. Kyoto grunts and throws himself aside, attempting to bring Hiroto's head off with a mighty swing of his sword. Hiroto vanishes in a puff of amythest vapor and reappears behind Kyoto, catching him off guard and slicing his right arm off at the elbow. Kyoto falls to the ground, blood flooding from the severed arm. "Damn you." he spits out. Hiroto laughs, a harsh and guttural sound. "So. you're a disappointment, you know. I've spent all my life training to defeat you. and when I finally face you. I have you on the ground within five minutes." He glares down at Kyoto. "You're pathetic. brother." Kyoto's eyes widen. "What the hell-" "Yes, didn't you know? I am also a son of Murasaki. The youngest, after you and Muriyaki." Hiroto's eyes narrow. "Ever since I was of coherent mind, I have been held captive in what you would call Hell, and it is all because of you!!" * Shinkansen: The bullet train. * gaijin: Japanese term for foriegner. Mugen Tenchi Muyo! Special Episodes!