NOTE: All characters original to the Tenchi-Muyo! TV1 series portrayed in this story are the sole property of AIC and Pioneer Animation. Any appearance of them in actual life is purely coincidental. Tenchi-Muyo! material and paraphernalia listed within is Copyright Pioneer Animation 1997 (c). Kyoto Minamoto, Muriyaki Kushiragi, Chisako, Chi-Ohki, and all other related characters are the sole property of Joe (Chi-Ohki) McKenzie and appear through permission from Joe (Chi-Ohki) McKenzie. Send all C&C to muriyaki@hotmail.com (for storyline and fight scenes) and/or keiichi_dono@scifianime.com (for intercharacter relationships and continuity). Thanks for reading! Episode #19: No Need for Splashdown! "Would you hold still!!" demands Washu. The newly grown Tokimi giggles. "Sorry, Grandma Washu, it just tickles all over!" Tenchi quietly groans and shades his eyes from the squirming naked form of his youngest daughter. Both Kiyones are gripping Tokimi's shoulders and are firmly trying to keep her steady; Momoko is trying to hold her feet. They're not having any success. Mirei is standing next to her father, clutching his left arm. "So daddy, she just grew up overnight?" "That's right, Rei-cha'ya," Tenchi answers wearily. "It's really tickly! It tickles down here the most!" Tenchi spins on his heel. "Thanks for sharing... dearie." Where did this girl get that kind of... hunger? thinks Washu. Must be from her mother. "Can't you give her an antiaphrodesiac?" pleads Yoni. "I would, but she won't stay still long enough for me to administer it!" "What if we cuffed her to the table?" asks the first Kiyone. "And then will you let daddy do me?" asks Tokimi, her eyes sparkling. "You certainly will not sleep with your father!" barks Yoni. "Why not?" "He's your father!" replies Kiyone-yoni. "So?" The two Kiyones stare open-mouthed at their daughter. "So?!" "I'm so hot.... I need someone to cool me down..." It is at this moment that her face flushes and a beatific expression drifts across it. "Too late now..." Everyone steps back. "My table!" screams Washu. "At least you can administer it now..." remarks Yoni. Tokimi is breathing heavily as she looks over to her father. "Daddy.... I'm still hungry for your lollipop." Tenchi's left nostril suddenly shoots a stream of blood, and he faints. Tokimi has a disappointed expression on her face. "Oh, damn, he passed out!" The first Kiyone sighs. "Hold still, dear, we just need to give you this shot." She presses the injector against Tokimi's forearm and hits the release. "I'm sleepy...." As the antiaphrodesiac hits her blood stream, Tokimi Masaki slowly goes unconscious. As soon as she's completely asleep, everyone in the room sighs in relief. It's then that they remember the unconscious Tenchi on the floor. The two Kiyones carry Tenchi back up to their room, while Mirei excuses herself from the lab to go and start breakfast. She is still somewhat confused about her little sister being more "grown up" than she is. Washu sighs and starts cleaning up the examination table. * * * "Everyone set for splashdown?" asks Kyoto through the intercom. "This isn't going to be smooth like a normal landing. You're all going to get a taste of what Earth's astronauts go through on re-entry." "We're as ready as we'll ever be," reports Tenchi back through his open comlink. "Everything in the two houses is strapped down, and everyone is gathered in the living rooms." "Alright, preparing to start re-entry." Kyoto is right; the ride is not pleasant. From the moment they enter the atmosphere, the occupants of Chisako are thrown around like billiard balls on a pool table, caroming off each other as well as the walls and the furniture. By the time they're entering cloud cover, everyone has at least three or four bruises. By the time Chisako slaps down on the surface of the water, they're moving at roughly Mach 10. The impact against water gives everyone aboard a few more bruises as the giant spacecraft disappears beneath the glassy surface of the ocean and grounds with a soft thud. After waiting a few moments to make sure the craft will not move again, Kyoto rises to his feet and opens the intercom. "Welcome back to Earth. Please place your tray tables in their upright and locked positions.... thank you for flying Oishii Air." He then falls back to the ground. The occupants of the houses slowly rise to their feet. Tenchi, after helping his wives and daughters to their feet, makes a head count. There are two people missing. "Yoni, where’s Kimi-cha’ya?" Yoni looks at him in confusion. "Huh? You mean she’s not here?" She looks around the room. "My god, Tenchi-yon, you’re right!" Ryoko rushes into the house, a look of worry on her face. "Kyo’s missing!" "Huh?!" A suspicion starts to form in Tenchi’s head. Two young people with raging hormones, missing at the same time.... "We’ve got trouble," he announces. * * * "Oh... oh... oh.... yes, Kyo.... more.... don't stop!..... yes, yes, yes, oh god in heaven y--" At the exact moment Tokimi Masaki's deflowering is completed, her parents rush into the clearing where Kyo was assisting her. Kyo's parents are right behind. The parents of both teenagers stand there gaping for a long, long, moment staring at their not-so-innocent offspring. "K-K-Kimi-cha'ya?!" Tenchi finally manages to push out. Kyo's parents are not so tongue-tied. "Kyo!" bellows Ryoko. "What in the hell are you doing to your cousin?!" "Making me warm and happy...." answers Tokimi dreamily. Tenchi faints, blood shooting from his nose like a cruise missile. Kiyone-yoni helps him to his feet and heads him back towards the house, while Yoni helps Tokimi get dressed and gently begins lecturing her on the irresponsibility of her actions. Once Tokimi has been escorted away, Mr. and Mrs. Minamoto glare down at their son, who is hurriedly redressing himself. Finally rising to his feet, he asks his parents, "You're not going to do anything to me?" Kyoto shakes his head. Ryoko smiles cruelly. "No, we're not, son. We're going to let her do something to you." She indicates a seething Momoko standing behind her and her husband. Kyo immediately starts running. "I'm out of here!" Momoko immediately gives chase, screaming, "Onii-chan no hentai!" * * * "Okay, people, here's the plan!" chirps the diminutive scientist as she happily points her laser pointer at a large holodisplay. "I assume you're all becoming very sick of fruit, am I correct?" There is a collective affirmation of Washu's statement. "Good. Now, a small portion of our group-- preferably three people or less-- will be traveling to the mainland of the nearest continent to purchase us real food. The rest of us will assist in repairing the damage to saucer number five. Namely, repositioning the saucer into its original configuration." "How the hell are we supposed to do that?" asks Kyo, gingerly touching the fading black eye, a souvenir of when Momoko had finally caught up with her "onii-chan no hentai." "Are we supposed to be able to lift that saucer?!" "Yes, with my special strength-enhancing technology and a lot of anti-gravity units, we should be able to repair that saucer easily!" "Who’s going onto the mainland?" asks Mitsuki. "Digital Washu, Kiyone, and Yoni," replies Washu, preparing herself for the anticipated outburst from Tenchi. It’s not long in coming. "What?!?!?" Washu holds up her hands in a calming motion. "Tenchi, calm down...." Kiyone-yoni and Yoni both take Tenchi’s arms, and he calms himself with an apparent effort. "Washu.... wouldn't it make more sense to bring at least one man along?" he says carefully, trying not to sound chauvinistic. "In this world, some people who see three women all alone without an escort.... they might be tempted to try something." Washu raises an eyebrow. "Tenchi, are you implying that your wives are incapable of defending themselves?" Tenchi’s face flushes red. "No, I am not! But.... I...." He comes to a stop, knowing what he wants to say but not knowing how to say it. Kiyone-yoni and Yoni lead him aside, thinking that maybe he can put it into words for them. After a few minutes, it appears that they’ve convinced him, for he nods and hangs his head. "I don’t want you two to go without me.... but if you must, go ahead." "Don’t worry, Tenchi-yon," assures Kiyone-yoni. "We’ll be just fine. Remember, I was taking care of myself as a GP before we even met." She places a finger on his lips as he starts to speak. "I know, I know, you would have if you’d known. But we aren’t defenseless. Both Yoni and I can project Light Hawk Wings, and she has Kyoto’s powers, and I’ll take my blaster and Reiken. We’ll be fine." "Exactly," agrees Yoni, hugging Tenchi’s other side. "Don’t worry, Tenchi-yon, we’ll come back to you fine." Tenchi doesn’t look much happier, but he nods again. "Fine. When do you three leave?" "In a couple of days," explains Digital Washu. "I need to see what kind of clothing is typical on this planet, and what kind of money they use, so we can duplicate it." "How are you gonna find out?" asks Ryoko. "I don’t think this planet has satellites or computer networks for you to hack into, and finding out personally would necessitate going out." Digital Washu ponders this. "Hmm, good point.... I guess the best we can do is using what we know of as fashion from this time back in our universe. Kyoto, have you been monitoring radio transmissions?" Kyoto nods. "Sure have. In this world, the year is 1955, Earth date." "All right...." Digital Washu produces the requisite hololaptop and types into it. Her Science Academy uniform shimmers and is replaced by a sharp gray dress suit, with matching shoes and hat. "I believe this will work nicely." "And what do you suggest we wear?" asks the first Kiyone. "The same." Digital Washu taps in another sequence, and both Kiyones reappear in outfits similar to Digital Washu's. Tenchi looks his two wives up and down slowly and smiles in approval. "Nice..." "Thank you, Tenchi-yon!" they chirp in unison. "Now, going on, Kyoto, have you determined what the dominant form of currency is?" Kyoto thinks for a moment, then nods. "The dollar. It's the American currency, and America runs this world. In fact, it's the nearest continent." The two Kiyones turn to Mirei. "Rei-cha'ya, can we trust you to take care of your father for us while we're gone?" "Of course, Mommies." "How many dollars will you need?" asks Kyoto. "How much do you have in Chisako's treasury?" asks Digital Washu. "About five hundred million in 1955 dollars." "I believe two million will do nicely, plus another two million in gold ingots," replies Digital Washu. "Now, how were you planning on making insertion?" "Sub. We have several submarines aboard Chisako." "That’ll work. Stealth-equipped, I presume?" "Washu, these are submarines. They’re built to be invisible.... and even if not, I’ve made some.... modifications to these. There is no problem." "That’s reassuring." Digital Washu turns to the two Kiyones. "I trust you two will be ready to go in two days. Please don’t get anything on those clothes, we need them as long as possible." "What exactly are you implying, Digital Washu?" asks Kiyone-yoni. "You know full well what I mean." "What about the nuke we need to respark the fold drive?" asks the real Washu. "We can start looking for that as soon as we have the food in hand," answers Digital Washu. "The sub will return after disembarking the girls, and will return to pick up the food and with help to retrieve the nuclear device." "But why can’t we do both of these things at once?" asks Mihoshi. A tanuki comes crashing down on Mihoshi’s head. "Because we need most of us to fix the saucer!" yells Digital Washu. "Oh.... okay.... it hurts!" "Anyway.... Once the food has been recovered, reinforcements will rendezvous with the girls at this place." A picture of a large military installation pops up. "This is Los Alamos Nuclear Research Facility. This is the center for all atomic weapons research in all of North America, and is the best place to find all prototype weapons. A standard 10 megaton nuclear device will be adequate." "And we're supposed to just walk in there and ask for a nuke?" quips Tenchi. "Not exactly. I have a personnel roster for the current staff of the facility. We merely choose the individual we wish to use. Preferably one who has access to the stockpiles." "And how did you get that?!" asks Kiyone-yoni. "Kyoto took the liberty of leaving some stealth satellites in orbit," explains Digital Washu. "And how'd that get you the rosters?" asks Tenchi. "I simply used the satellite to photograph the information from an officer bringing in the recent duty roster. The reason we couldn't get any clothing shots was because the satellite tasked for that duty fell straight down and burned up." * * * Nighttime. Washu is roused by a steady feeling of warmth on the back of her left hand. Blinking her eyes, she shifts herself slightly away from Nobuyuki, and looks down at the back of her hand. She is naturally shocked to find a glowing triangle on it. Her eyes dart to the clock, which reads.... 3:27 am. Even as weariness descends upon her once more she can feel herself rising from the bed, drawing on the discarded clothing lying on the floor, and walking out the door... Ayeka, having dozed off on the couch, is awakened by a similar sensation on her left hand. On it rests a triangle similar to the one on Washu's hand. The clock on the VDR* reads.... 3:27 am. Her conscious mind returns to slumber, but something else takes its place, and as she sleeps, she walks towards the door.... Katsuhito is meditating in his shrine, contemplating the will of the universe, when he feels warmth on his left hand. He is, as usual, unperturbed to see the glowing triangle on his hand. He falls asleep, as he walks to the door, yet he keeps walking... even as the old clock on his desk reads 3:27 am... The three of them converge on an encircled triangle etched into the ground of one of the arboretum decks by holy fire. The fire-- burning an unearthly blue-white-- is still flaming. Standing at the three points inside the triangle are the three goddesses, in full holy regalia. On either side of the circle, facing inward, sits Tsunami and Sasami, dressed in priestess garb and face paint and beating solemnly on ceremonial drums. Approaching from the other direction is the first Kiyone. As the four take up their places at four "corners" of the circle, Tsunami floats around to each of them, quickly removing their clothing. Murasaki is right behind her, redressing each of them in Juraian ceremonial robes. Tokimi is last, applying the ceremonial paint to each one's cheeks. The preparations complete, the ceremony begins. Still in their trance, Kiyone, Washu, Ayeka, and Katsuhito begin to dance around the circle of flame, chanting in what sounds like Old High Juraian. Tsunami and Sasami begin to pound harder on their drums, also chanting in Old High Juraian. And at the points of the triangle, the goddesses begin to speak. "O fire which burns hotter than any star, o water that is deeper than any ocean, o wind that blows stronger than any hurricane, we ask for thy favor. We ask for thy knight. We ask for the Light Hawk. It is only he who can triumph against what is ahead. We ask for thy champion. We ask for the Light Hawk." As Murasaki chants, an image forms above the bonfire in the center of the triangle: Tenchi, in his warrior raiments. As Murasaki repeats the chant over and over, the combat garb changes into the kind that Tenchi wears when using the Light Hawk Wings, and then suddenly shifting as wings of light, fanned out, sprout from his back and appear in front of him... When the four dancers awaken in the morning, they have no recollection of the previous evening's events. * * * About 36 hours later, a small attack sub pulls up to a deserted dock on the outskirts of the San Francisco harbor. It surfaces, and the topside hatch opens. Three women climb out, followed by a man. "Now be sure to keep ahold of that transmitter I gave you, Kiyone. It'll be easier for us to get in touch with that." "I will," promises Kiyone. Kyoto smiles and steps aside to let Tenchi climb out of the sub. After a few minutes of hugging and kissing his wives, he climbs back into the sub, shaking visibly. The three women gather up their luggage and ten minutes later are in a taxi making for the downtown area. "So, where's the first place on our itinerary, Wa-- I mean Wendy?" asks Kiyone. Digital Washu frowns down at the notepad in her lap. In addition to the three women adopting American-sounding names, she has actually made her hair look more normal-- straightening it out and dying it mahogany brown. "Hmmm..... first we need to get ourselves some place to stay. And since we can afford the best...." She taps the driver on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but what's the best hotel in the city?" "The Hilton, ma'am," answers the driver politely. "Y' want me t' take y'all there?" "Wendy" nods. "If you would please." Ten minutes later, the taxi driver has deposited his fares off at the Hilton, and has an extra $100 bill in his shirt pocket for his trouble. In the hotel lobby.... "And your name is..." asks the clerk. "Karyn, Karyn McKenzie." She smiles. "I'm Chinese, but I married an Scottish-American." "Very good, Mrs. McKenzie." The clerk jots the information down. "And you and your friends want one of our penthouse suites for.... how long?" "Um.... two nights will be plenty." "Very well, then." The clerk hands a key to "Karyn." "Room 1305, on the top floor. Enjoy." During the elevator ride up, the two Kiyones relax against the wall, heaving sighs of relief. "Thank god that's over," says the first one. "Amen to that," echoes Yoni. Once they reach their room.... "Sugoi*!" cry out both Kiyones at once, jumping into the air and cheering happily. "What's the big deal?" inquires Digital Washu. "You're the Empresses of Jurai; your normal conditions are much more plush than this." "Washu," reminds Kiyone-yoni, "for the past few weeks we've been on the run and hiding. Chisako and the houses are very comfortable, yes, but we've been going stir crazy. This is a welcome break." "There's only one thing that can make this better," remarks Yoni. "We can talk about Tenchi later," replies Digital Washu. "Right now, I need a bath!" "You need a bath?" echoes the first Kiyone in disbelief. "Yes, my skin is as natural as yours. I need to bathe each night like a normal human to stay clean!" "There's a giant bath tub in the bathroom," suggests Yoni. "And there's a fresh bottle of champagne on ice here too!" adds Kiyone-yoni. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Uh-huh!" The two Kiyones giggle devilishly at the same time. (Digital Washu sweatdrops.) Soon, the three ladies are in the bath; the tub is piled high with warm bubbly water. The two Kiyones have their hair wrapped in towels and glasses of champagne hanging loosely in their hands. Both of them look like they're drunk and loving it. Digital Washu has the bottle. "More wine!" she cries out drunkenly. She then passes out and sinks to the bottom of the tub, leaving a trail of bubbles floating to the surface. The two Kiyones, who are not as drunk as they looked, dredge Digital Washu out. Yoni then wraps her in a robe and sets her on the toilet while Kiyone-yoni goes and retrieves the second Washu's purse. "What're you looking for?" asks Yoni. "The instruction manual," replies Kiyone-yoni. "It's gotta be here.... ah, there it is." She fishes out a flimsy, cheaply printed manual. "Now, let's see.... ah, here we go. 'In case of drunkenness, flip up rear neck panel and enter reset code alpha-omega-Hakubi- three'." "Entering code.... it's in," calls back Yoni. She backs away as a soft whirring sound emanates from Digital Washu. Her eyes suddenly fly open, blink several times, and then reset to normality as the system resumes normal function. "Ahh. Thank you! I feel much better now!" "We're glad," responds Kiyone-yoni dryly. "Digital Washu, you never told us that you could get drunk!" "I'm as susceptible to the effects of alcohol as you," the robotic scientist replies. "Now, I believe you two said that there was just one more thing that could make this arrangement better?" "Yes," they say as one. "Tenchi." "Well.... why don't you two get ready?" Ten minutes later, Tenchi, who had been in the middle of a bath, appears naked in the middle of the hotel room. Understandably surprised, he quickly starts trying to cover himself.... until he notices his two wives, stretched out on their bed in skimpy nightclothes, smiling hungrily at him. Digital Washu excuses herself. "When you're ready to send him back, let me know. I'll be down in the bar." * * * The next morning finds Tenchi back aboard Chisako, with a very sore back. Mirei looks concernedly at him as he rubs the small of his back. "Are you okay, Daddy?" He smiles and ruffles her hair. "Yeah, Rei-cha'ya, my back is just sore." "You were naughty with the mommies last night, weren't you!" Mirei has a smug expression on her face. "How could I be, they're not here." "Digital Washu beamed you there and then you were naughty and then she sent you back! That's how!" Tenchi blushes. "Rei-cha'ya, how would you know?" "I was in the women's bath at the time, you know, there's a little monitor in there that lets us see what you're doing in the normal one." Tenchi blushes even redder. "Rei-cha'ya, what were you doing watching me?" "I heard your voice, I wondered if you were in the bath so I went to take a look. Right when I turned on the monitor you vanished from the tub!" she smiles. "Were you being naughty with yourself before she beamed you over?!" "Rei-cha'ya, you shouldn't ask your parents such questions!" "You were, you were! You were being naughty with yourself, you were being naughty with yourself!" "You could have been naughty with me, Daddy!" interjects Tokimi, coming up behind her father and hugging him around the waist. "I would've let you." "Kimi-cha'ya, cut that out!" chides Tenchi gently. "I'm your father." "So, I'm not a virgin anymore." Mirei looks shocked. "Huh?!" Tenchi starts rubbing his forehead, wishing for aspirin. "She had sex with Kyo." Mirei looks towards Tokimi with a hurt expression on her face. "Tokimi, why'd you do that?! You're only supposed to have sex with the man you're going to marry! And then you should at least try and wait until after the wedding!" Tokimi pouts. "But onee-chan*, it's so much fun!" Mirei's face shifts to a stern expression and she immediately starts lecturing Tokimi on the irresponsibility of her actions. Still rubbing his back, Tenchi reaches for a small vial of painkillers. "I knew I should have just stayed in bed." Ryoko walks into the living room. "Come on, we've got a saucer to move!" She grins as she sees Tenchi swallowing a couple of the painkillers. "Tenchi, you really should know better than to do something like that before moving heavy objects!" "Leave me alone, Ryoko!" snaps Tenchi. "Ungh.... this is still gonna hurt for a while." Ryoko shakes her head. "Come on, lover boy, let's move that saucer." Several hours later, everyone save for Tenchi and Kyoto's daughters are outside in heavy lifting gear. Kyoto is floating inside the bent connection strut, arming the four explosive bolts that will free the connection to the saucer from the rest of Chisako. "Okay, people, I'm gonna blow the bolts in 20 seconds, back away fast!" "Roger that," replies Tenchi's voice. "Blow 'em!" "I'll pretend I didn't hear that, Tenchi." Kyoto gives the detonator a fierce twist and teleports out of the tube. Five seconds later, the entire connection strut comes crashing down to the ocean floor. Kyoto reappears outside of it and shakes his head at the damage. "My poor baby... Daddy's gonna make it all better." "Dad!" screams Kyo. "Calm down, Kyo," chides Ryoko. "Chisako is as much your father's child as you are." "Yeah," says Mirei in a teasing voice, "just like my Mommies are as much Daddy's little girls as I am!" "Rei-cha'ya..." warns Tenchi. "Yes, Daddy?!" Mirei’s voice takes on the "I’m so adorable you can’t get mad at me!" quality that her sisters and mother have long since perfected. Tenchi sighs theatrically. "Never mind. You wouldn’t stop teasing me if I paid you to, would you?" "Of course not!" Mirei responds. "You’re naughty!" She pauses for a moment. "Grandma Washu, I have lunch ready." "Okay!" says Washu. You guys stand by. Kyoto and I will start repairing this right now! Shift back inside at four-hour intervals. Kyoto, pass me that heavy-duty macrospanner." Meanwhile, back in San Francisco.... ".... how much rice?!" The wholesale grocer’s eyes are bugging out of his head. "You said you want eight hundred fifty pounds of rice?!" Karyn McKenzie (a.k.a. Kiyone Masaki #1) smiles politely. "Yes, sir. We have a large family, and we sort of adopted a taste for it when my husband was posted in the Pacific Rim." "Your husband was a soldier? So was I." The shopkeeper’s face softens. "I know just what it was like, fighting those damned Japs." Kiyone-yoni keeps the smile on her face with an effort. "Err.... yes." She opens her purse expectantly. "How much will this cost me?" "That’s about $.75 per pound.... normally, about $640....but since you’re the wife of a fellow vet, I’ll let you have it for five hundred." The first Kiyone lets her smile widen, with only a little effort. "Really? Thank you!" She counts off five $100 bills and places them on the counter. "We’ll bring our truck around back; do you have anyone who could help us load them up?" "Of course, ma’am." Fifteen minutes later, the large truck is rolling toward the warehouse district, where "Wendy" had rented a warehouse to store the supplies until they’re ready to return home. "Now which turn is it again?" asks Yoni, sitting behind the wheel. "The next right up here.... there you go. Just keep going straight, and we’ll stop right in--what the hell?!" Parked in front of the warehouse is a sleek Packard, with a couple of brawny-looking guys in suits lounging against it. "Great, the local tough guys," grumbles Kiyone-yoni. She starts to edge her laser pistol* out of her purse. "If you two can distract them--" "Let’s see what they want first," suggests Digital Washu. The three women disembark form their vehicle and wander over to the Packard. "Can we help you, gentlemen?" asks Yoni in an impatient voice. Her arms are crossed, and her right hand is resting inside her jacket, on the butt of her pistol. "Yeah," says the larger of the two. "Y’see, our boss, see, owns dis here warehouse, see? An’, ahh, you ain’t paid us fer usin’ it, see." "We’ve already paid for it," Kiyone-yoni replies in a cold voice. "Yeah, but’cha need t’ pay us extra, fer protection an’ stuff." "We’re not exactly rolling in money," lies Yoni. "Yeah, well, there’re.... other ways t’ pay, see." The large man grins, his eyes flicking up and down Yoni’s body. Yoni takes note of this and glares at him. "I’m a married woman. We all are. And even if we weren’t--" "So whatcha doin’ in th’ city wit’out yo’ husbands?" "We’re buying food," explains Kiyone-yoni testily. "And this harassment of yours is the most--" The shorter man--swarthy and suave, as opposed to the larger man’s considerably less so aura--immediately steps in. "Calm down, ladies. My associate here--" he nudges the taller man in the ribs; apparently the smaller man is in charge "--wasn't meaning that at all. Our employer, he has a nightclub downtown, nothing fancy, but nothing disrespectful, either. The entertainment is usually some attractive ladies like yourselves, on the stage singing in evening gowns, but the last girl just up and married, and moved clear to the East Coast. My colleague was merely noting that you two might be what we’re looking for." "And what about me? Am I just chopped liver?" snaps Digital Washu. The shorter man smiles placatingly at her. "Not at all. What are your talents, ma’am?" "Bartender!" she replies brightly, earning looks of shock from the two Kiyones. "I can make the most potent drinks you’ve ever had!" The smaller man nods. "All right." His gaze shifts back to the two Kiyones. "Really, ladies, this would be the most sensible solution." Kiyone-yoni thinks it over, after a brief mental conference with Yoni. "You’re sure that your employer won’t expect any...special services?" Another reassuring smile. "I give you my personal assurances." The three women raise skeptical eyebrows, but acquiesce nonetheless. "All right," replies Kiyone-yoni. "What’s the address?" * * * * * "All right.... just bring that last support spar down a bit....that’s good...." Washu sends a "hold it" signal to Kyoto and starts welding. "Tenchi, Nobuyuki, start welding on your end." She nods in approval as her husband and stepson power up their plasma torches and set to work on the spar’s far end. "This is the last one, people. As soon as the welding is done, Kyoto can set the holding bolts into place, and we’ll be done." "Just in time!" reports Ryoko over the radio. "Mirei and Momoko are almost done cooking dinner." "Sounds good!" comments Nobuyuki. "What is it?" "I...." Ryoko hesitates, then plunges forward. "I hope you guys like apple pie." "Again? But we’ve had that for dinner the past three nights in a row!" "Don’t complain, Dad," warns Tenchi. "I’m sure they worked very hard on it, and it’ll hurt their feelings if you don’t--" "Actually, Tenchi, they just took the leftovers and mixed them together." "...." After a moment, Tenchi says in a small voice, "Well, it’s better than starving!" "I’m starting to wonder," retorts Nobuyuki, shutting off his plasma torch. "Washu, we’re done here." "Good work! Come on in!" * * * * * Kiyone-yoni sips her drink and takes a look at her surroundings. "Well, girls, what do you think?" Yoni wears a look of appraisal. "Not too bad.... really, I was expecting far worse." And indeed, the club is in fairly decent shape. The decor is plush, if not quite tasteful or well lit, but at least it appears to be a fairly respectable club. "Ah, there you ladies are!" Their sponsor--the swarthy man who they’ve learned is named Louie--comes up to them. Following behind is an overweight man in an expensive suit. He is red-faced, as if the act of walking is an incredible exertion on him. "Ladies, this is Mr. Carter, my boss." Mr. Carter smiles what he apparently thinks is a charming smile. The three women have to struggle to keep the smiles on their faces. "Welcome to the Moonlight Kiss, ladies." His eyes flick up and down the two Kiyones’ bodies, and his smile widens into a leer. "I see you’re as beautiful as Louie here had told me." Louie clears his throat diffidently. "Err, boss, I told you. They’re all married." "Pity.... oh, well. If you can sing, that’ll be enough." He raises an eyebrow. "I trust that you can..." The two Kiyones step onto the stage and pick up the mikes. "Is there any particular song you want to hear?" asks Yoni. "Hmmm...." Mr. Carter takes a moment to think. "How about ‘Night and Day’?" Fortunately, the two Kiyones know that song; they and Tenchi have danced to Kyoto’s old big band records a hundred times over, and Kyoto had insisted that they learn enough about this era’s music to pass as regular citizens. They sing the old Cole Porter tune flawlessly. Louie is the first to start applauding, followed momentarily by everyone else in the club. Mr. Carter smiles in approval. "Yes, you two will do just fine." He snaps his fingers, and a matronly woman appears. "Mary, show them to their dressing room." "What about me?" demands Digital Washu. "Charlie, show their companion around the bar." "Yessir, Mr. Carter." Charlie, a husky man with an air of friendliness, takes Digital Washu back behind the bar with him. Later that evening, the three girls compare notes in the small apartment that Louie helped them find. "How long are we gonna do this?" asks Yoni. "For a while," answers Kiyone-yoni firmly. "We're not half finished gathering the food we need, and we need that warehouse." "But can you trust that Carter guy to keep his libido in check?" Digital Washu asks pointedly. "I don't trust him," the first Kiyone replies. "I do, however, trust Louie and Charlie, to an extent. They've been straight with us so far, and I think they'll continue to do so--at least until we leave." "Should we tell Tenchi-yon about this change in plans?" asks Yoni. The first Kiyone sighs. "Yeah, I think we should...." * * * ".... Well...." Tenchi's voice is laced with concern, as it always is when a loved one is out of safe reach. "...As long as you guys are safe..." "Don't worry, Tenchi-yon, if the guy tries anything, I'll have Yoni beat him up." Kiyone-yoni smiles as she hears her husband's dry chuckle. "Alright, then. Anything else?" "Yeah, um.... we're gonna be tied up with Mr. Carter for a while, so we're gonna need to change the plans. Could you and some of the others come into town and pick up the rest of the supplies?" "Sure, sweetie. I'd be glad to help. Could you put Yoni on?" "Okay... don't spend too much time talking to her, I'll get lonely." Tenchi chuckles again. "Alright. Love you, Kiyone-yoni." "Love you too, Daddy. Here comes your other little girl." There's a rustle on the other end of the line and Yoni's voice speaks. "Hi, daddy! Do ya miss us?!" "More than you can imagine, Yoni. The other Kiyone tells me things are a little weird over there right now." "Uh-huh, there's this nasty fat guy that keeps leering at us, Mr. Carter, and every time he does I just feel dirty all over." "Oh, poor baby... I wish I could be there with both of you right now." "I wish you could too, Daddy. Our bed's real lonely without you between us." Tenchi gulps. "Y-y-y-yoni...." "Yes, Daddy... I ache without you inside of me..." A new voice replaces Tenchi's. "Naughty!" giggles Mirei's voice. "How are you, Mommies?" Yoni laughs happily. "Hi, Rei-cha'ya! We're just fine. Are you taking good care of our daddy?" "Uh-huh! He tries to be naughty with me everyday!" "I do not!" yells Tenchi's voice in the background. "Rei-cha'ya, tell our daddy that I know that you're not naughty with him everyday." Mirei giggles before relaying the message to her father. "Are you coming home, soon?" "Not for a little while, Rei-cha'ya." Her voice softens. "We love you, Rei-cha'ya." "Love you too, bye-bye now." Mirei hands the receiver back to her father, who resumes speaking. "All right. When do you want us there?" "Your other little girl and I want you here now," says Yoni cheerily. "You and the others should probably come in about a week. We’ve gathered almost all the dry goods, but we haven’t gotten around to the meats and such yet." "All right. I’ll see you in two, then." Tenchi’s voice softens even more. "Give the other Kiyone my love...." "I will," Yoni promises. "Love you, Tenchi-yon." "I love you too, Yoni. G’night." Tenchi closes the channel and rises from the communications station on the command deck, stretching and yawning. "You miss them, don’t you, Daddy?" asks Mirei as she hugs Tenchi. Tenchi hugs Mirei back. "Very much so, Rei-cha’ya." "Tenchi?" Nobuyuki comes onto the command deck, rubbing his eyes. "Tenchi, what’re you doing up so late? It’s almost eleven." "Couldn’t sleep," Tenchi replies. "Besides, the girls called." "Hmm. How’re they doing?" Tenchi chuckles dryly. "Let me tell you...." * * * * * "....these foolish things remind me of you..." The two Kiyones end on the same note. Even though the band holds the tune for a few more seconds, the applause starts almost immediately. Smiling, the two Kiyones bow. Ever since they started singing here a week before, they’ve drawn steady and sizable crowds each night-- although they’re not really sure it’s their singing or their tight Chinese-style dresses that keep the men coming back for more. The first Kiyone takes the mike again. "We’re gonna lay back this next set and let the band take the limelight for awhile, don’t worry, we’ll be back as soon as possible." They walk off the stage and over to the bar, where Digital Washu has made them two of her more popular cocktail creations, a tall glass of electric-blue liquid that is bubbling most unnaturally. Kiyone-yoni eyes it warily. "Um, Wendy, what is that?" "It’s called a Flash-Point!" chortles Digital Washu. "Try it!" "Um.... okay." The first Kiyone picks up her glass and takes a sip, then grins. "Sugoi!" She downs the rest of the glass. "Another, please." Yoni picks up her glass and takes a tentative sip. Her subsequent reaction is a mirror of the original Kiyone’s. Mr. Carter, a wide (and what he thinks an ingratiating) smile on his face, strides up to the bar. "Ladies...." "Oh, Mr. Carter!" Digital Washu pushes a third glass of the frothy blue liquid at the owner. "Try some!" "Thanks, Wendy!" His eyes wandering up and down the two Kiyones’ bodies with little subtlety, he downs the cocktail in one gulp. He then falls to the ground, unconscious. The three women look down at him unconcernedly. Yoni shrugs. "I suppose we’d better get someone to take him back to his office...." Louie comes up. "Great job, la--" He notes his insensate employer sprawled on the floor. "Do I even want to know what happened here?!" "The man can’t hold his liquor," Digital Washu comments dryly. Louie snaps his fingers. "Mikey, get over here and help me haul the boss back to his office." The hulking man stumbles over. "Jeez, Louie, wha’ happened t’ th’ boss?" "Like the lady said, he can’t hold his liquor. C’mon." * * * * * * "You guys ready to go?" asks Washu. Tenchi settles his sport jacket into place and takes a quick look in the mirror. As befitting the times, he is wearing a suit and tie of conservative cut and bland color. His hand touches the back of his neck, where his long ponytail had been--had been. Grimacing slightly, he turns to look at his father and grandfather, both similarly dressed. "Whenever you are, Washu." Washu starts punching coordinates into her hololaptop. "I’ll try to set you three down in as inconspicuous a place as possible. Now, tell me what you’ll do once you’re there...." Tenchi sighs with more than a little exasperation. "‘We go and get the rest of the food first, and then we go and get the girls.’ Was this really necessary, Washu?" "I believe it was." Washu finishes her sequencing and lets her right index finger hover over the initiate touchpad. "Ready?" The three men gather nods as one. "Right. I’ll see you all in....a little while." She taps the control, and her husband, stepson, and father-in-law-in-law vanish. Within six hours of their disappearance from Chisako, the three men have collected the rest of the needed food, and have the perishables teleported back to Chisako by Washu. They then make their way to a small cabaret named the Moonlight Kiss, which has in the past week enlisted an incredibly attractive pair of twins for vocal services.... Yoni has just emerged from the back rooms, to bring herself and the other Kiyone some cold drinks when she sees who has just walked through the door. Forgetting the drinks, she rushes into the back. Digital Washu waves the not-strangers over to the bar. "Hey, we were beginning to wonder if you’d ever show up!" "Really?" comments Tenchi dryly. "Well, you I expected, but alone." "Why?" Just then the lights dim, except for a spotlight that focuses on the stage. A swarthy man in a white linen suit steps up and takes the mike. "Ladies and gents, we of the Moonlight Kiss are proud to present to you our latest pair of chanteuses, Karyn and Kimberly McKenzie!" The crowd stands as one and starts applauding. Tenchi’s eyes go wide as solar orbits as his two wives, dressed in tightly wrapped chong-sams with thigh-high slits up each side, walk onto the stage. Some of the less propriety-restrained males in the audience start wolf whistling, and Tenchi’s hand twitches, as if preparing to go for his sword. Kiyone-yoni smiles at the audience. "Good evening." Her smile goes even wider, and slightly feline, as her eyes meet Tenchi’s. "Our first number is dedicated to someone in the audience who’s very special to my sister and I." Tenchi gulps, trying to ignore the lightheadedness that threatens to overtake him. Nobuyuki nudges his son. "Control yourself, son...." A look is exchanged between the two Kiyones, and they begin to sing*: How glad the many millions, Of Toms and Dicks and Williams, Would be, to capture me.... But you were so persistent, You wore down my resistance, I fell, and it was swell.... You’re my big and brave and handsome Romeo, How I won you, I will never ever know, It’s not that you’re attractive, but oh my heart grows active, When you come into view.... Tenchi is by now sweating like mad. He has long since given up fighting off the pleasant lightheadedness, and Nobuyuki is trying to keep him upright. He smirks. "This song always did have that effect on him...." I’ve got a crush on you, sweetie pie, All the day and night time, hear me sigh, I never had the least notion that I could fall with so much emotion.... Would you coo, would you care? For a cunning cottage we could share? The world will pardon my mush ’Cause I’ve got a crush, my baby, on you.... The two Kiyones have their eyes fixed directly on Tenchi’s, and Nobuyuki and Katsuhito are both having to hold the young man upright (and, simultaneously, hold him down). Would you coo, would you care? For a cunning cottage we could share? The world will pardon my mush ’Cause I have got a crush, my baby, on you.... Tenchi is on his feet with the rest of the crowd, cheering and clapping. Nobuyuki and Katsuhito exchange exasperated glances and pull him back into his chair. The rest of their set is slightly more subdued, but the guys in the audience are still on the edges of their seats--and drooling. Finally, the two chanteuses take a break and wander over to the bar. Tenchi is out of his seat in a heartbeat and sidling up between them. "Ladies, may I buy you a drink?" They smile brightly at him, and Kiyone-yoni nods. "We’d be delighted." She then reaches her arms up around Tenchi’s neck and brings his face down to hers, locking her lips to his. "Mmm....been too long." "Yes, it has," agrees Tenchi in a husky voice. "What about me?" mock-pouts Yoni. Tenchi grins at her. "C’mere, you." And he gives her as passionate a kiss as the first Kiyone. Finally, after reassuring both his wives just how much he’s missed them, he comes up for air. "You girls ready to go?" The two Kiyones nod as one. "We are.... but we have to finish tonight’s performance first," answers Kiyone-yoni. "By the way," asks Yoni excitedly, what did you think of our performance, Daddy?" Tenchi hugs both Kiyones. "Wonderful. You two could get a record deal, I’m sure of it." Charlie pours Tenchi, Nobuyuki, and Katsuhito a double of scotch-- "On the house," he says. "Your wives are good girls." Tenchi thanks him and sips his drink. Louie comes up to the bar and is introduced around. "So, are you gonna be taking these two home, now?" Tenchi nods. "Yep. We have everything we came for." Louie looks around; for once, his self-assured demeanor seems to be slipping. "Hmm....get out. Now." "Huh?!?!?" "He’s right," agrees Charlie, now also looking around. "Mr. Carter’s making more money with you two singing than he ever did with any other act. He won’t let you go." "I thought the deal was we sang as long as we rented the warehouse," argues the first Kiyone. "Deals don’t mean much to him," retorts Louie. "I’ve seen plenty of times where.... but never mind about that. Do you girls have everything you need?" "We need to stop by the warehouse really fast...." "Then get going. We can stall him, but not for long." The Kiyones hesitate, then nod. They kiss both men on the cheek and head for the door. Digital Washu does likewise, and Tenchi shakes their hands. Forty-five minutes later, a large truck rumbles to a stop at Pier #45, in a long-deserted section of the shipping district. Tenchi flashes the truck’s highbeams three times for ten seconds, and the sub surfaces. Kyoto climbs out of the topside hatch, a captain’s hat perched atop his head at a jaunty angle. "Ahoy, landlubbers!" "Shut up and help us unload this food," snorts Tenchi. "All right, all right...." The food is promptly offloaded. Ryoko, who had come along for the ride, smiles in approval. "Mmm. The girls will be happy to see something other than fruit!" She licks her lips. "Tonight, I think we’ll make.... Stir-fry! Yes, tonight is stir fry night!" "Sounds good," agrees Yoni. "Too bad we won’t be there for it." Ryoko looks confused. "Of course you will.... that's why we’re here to pick you up, isn’t it?" Tenchi shakes his head. "Sorry. We’ve got a nuke to get, remember?" "Well, not before you have some real food. Come on down, we can make some in the sub’s galley." After enjoying a meal of real food (and after Ryoko has finished playfully needling the two Kiyones about having been able to gorge themselves on real food for the past week), Tenchi and company pile back into the truck. He had tried to talk his wives out of going, but to no avail. Only Nobuyuki and Digital Washu will be returning on the sub. "Don’t forget to signal us when you’re ready for a pick-up!" she instructs. "All right," calls back Tenchi, waving as the submarine sinks beneath the waves. He then turns around--and finds both Kiyones snuggled up on either side. A wide grin appears on his face. Kyoto groans. "All right, in the back, you three. Don’t get too comfortable, though. Soon as possible, we’ll be trading the truck in for something else." And so they set off on their next errand. The End Footnotes: *Video Disc Recorder. *Sugoi: "Wow!" Your basic positive exclamation. *Onee-chan: Literally "dearest older sister," but basically "big sister." * Yes, I know that she turned her piece in when she retired from the GP. But I think it likely that she would have at least one under a private license, for home defense. * "I’ve Got a Crush on You." Written, I believe (I’m not sure), by George and Ira Gershwin. The version used here is identical to the one on Linda Ronstadt’s ’Round Midnight compilation of songs from the big band era.