NOTE: All characters original to the Tenchi-Muyo! TV1 series portrayed in this story, as well as all those from the Tenchi-Muyo! Ryo-Ohki OVA series, are the sole property of AIC and Pioneer Animation. Any appearance of them in actual life is purely coincidental. Tenchi-Muyo! material and paraphernalia listed within is copyright Pioneer Animation 1997. Kyoto Minamoto, Muriyaki Kushiragi, Chisako, Chi-Ohki, and all other related characters are the sole property of R&C Books and appear through permission from R&C Books. If you would like to use any of these characters in your work, please contact the licensing department at RCBooks@hotmail.com or visit our website at www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Bay/1375. Send all C&C to muriyaki@hotmail.com (for storyline and fight scenes) and/or keiichi_dono@hotmail.com (for intercharacter relationships and continuity). Thanks for reading! Keiichi Morisato, Belldandy, Megumi Morisato, and all related characters, establishments, and events are the property of Kousuke Fujishima, Kodansha, Ltd., KSS Films, and TBS (Tokyo Broadcasting System--I think). Makoto Mizuhara, Nanami Jinnai, Masamichi Fujisawa, Shinonome High, and all related characters, establishments, and situations are the property of Pioneer Animation and AIC. Ranma Saotome, Akane Tendo, and all related characters, establishments, and situations are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Communications. "Ring of Love (Tenchi and Kiyone's Theme)" Lyrics by Tenchi Masaki Music by Tenchi Masaki, Nobuyuki Masaki, and Washu Hakubi Arrangement by Tenchi Masaki and Washu Hakubi Performed by Sagami Yashikara and Mihoshi Kuramitsu (initially; all subsequent performances by Tenchi and Kiyone Masaki) "Forevermore" Lyrics by Kiyone Masaki Music by Kiyone Masaki, Nobuyuki Masaki, and Washu Hakubi Arrangement by Kiyone Masaki and Washu Hakubi Performed by Kiyone Masaki "Sleeping Beauty on the Balcony" Lyrics by Ryoe Tsukimura (English lyrics/translation provided by Miyoko Miura) Music and Arrangement by Seikou Nagaoka Performed by Kiyone Masaki and Mihoshi Kuramitsu "Police Magic!" Lyrics by Natsuko Kodou Music by Seikou Nagaoka/Narimitsu Arrangement by Seikou Nagaoka/Narimitsu Performed by Kiyone Masaki and Mihoshi Kuramitsu Timeline Note: The episode takes place from January 20, 1997 (the day that they started dimension-hopping) to April 4, the day of Kyoto and Ryoko's wedding and one week after Tenchi and Kiyone's wedding. Note: The standard Japanese school year is year-round, with periodic breaks. The school "year" ends in late March and starts again in early April. The schedule for Shinonome High as depicted here is a modified version of the annual schedules of Murasakino High School in Kyoto and Tokyo Metropolitan Kokusai High School. Thank God for the Internet and the courtesy of the students and faculty of these two schools. Correctional notice: In the preview for this episode, I said that this episode would cover five months. Unfortunately, I mistakenly assumed that Japan's high schools were on a schedule similar to our. This episode will in actuality cover roughly two months and a week. My apologies for the inaccuracy. Yet another note: My apologies for the long wait. This is what happens when you start an episode just before spring break starts and have no access to a computer for over a week. Add to this marginal grades (deplorable in Kagato’s case), responsibilities added to my position on the college newspaper staff, software glitches in every computer lab on campus, my discovery of a dedicated lemon fanfic archive (yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a hentai), and the worst case of writer's block I've ever had, and you have what is known as a clusterf***. I hope this episode is worth the long wait. --Lord Yosho/Keiichi-dono This episode is dedicated to all who still believe in "the right one," and who, like myself and Stephen Bishop, persist in tossing up our hearts to see where they land. "Something's telling me it might be you Something's telling me it must be you And I'm feeling it'll just be you All of my life..." -Stephen Bishop, "It Might Be You" Episode #12: No Need For A Wedding! The manager of the Happy Burger in downtown Okayama is reaching for the phone when the door slides open and his quarry walk in. For once, the middle-aged man is happy to see Kiyone and Mihoshi. "Oh, Kiyone, Mihoshi, there you are. Good. I--" He suddenly finds himself with a faceful of clothing. Pulling it away from his face, he finds that it's Kiyone's work uniform. He looks at her--and his jaw drops open. She's smiling. Oh, he's seen her smile many times before, but not like this. This is a full-bore grin, from ear to ear. Gone is the cloud of muffled despondency, the one that floated around her like a malign spirit. In its place is an air of peace and happiness and-- "I quit," she says simply, and she turns on her heel and strides out the door. Mihoshi nervously pushes her own uniform into the manager's hands. "Th-th-thank you for not firing us..." She scurries out the door after Kiyone. The manager is staring open-mouthed at the door. He can't make any sense of what just happened--although he would later remember that he saw what looked like an engagement ring on Kiyone's left ring finger... Tenchi grins as Kiyone and Mihoshi pile into the back seat of his friend Keiichi's Toyota station wagon. "How'd it go?" he asks. "I don't think we'll be covering any more triple-shifts," replies Kiyone. She leans over and kisses Tenchi's cheek. "Thank you, Tenchi-yon." "Anything for my yoni," he tells her. "Hey!" scolds Sasami from. "Don't be naughty! Remember what the goddesses said, Mommy!" Kiyone sighs theatrically. "I remember, Sami-cha'ya." She turns to her husband. "Shouldn't we be meeting your dad about now?" "Right." Tenchi looks over at his friend. "Thanks a lot, Kei." The shorter, ruffled-haired young man grins. He had been Tenchi’s first sempai, or social mentor, at Shinonome High, and the two had quickly become good friends. This was partially due to the fact that Keiichi was among the few guys in his class who could think about more than just getting drunk and getting laid. "No problem. Belldandy and her sisters are out of town for the weekend, and I'm here visiting my parents, so why not?" He shifts into drive and points the Corolla in the direction of Kiyone and Mihoshi's apartment. Nobuyuki and Kyoto are already waiting at the apartment with a large van. As the Corolla pulls up, Kyoto has finished paying the landlord, who grunts in approval and stalks back into his apartment. "How much in late rent did we owe?" asks Kiyone as she gets out of the car. Nobuyuki thinks for a moment. "Well, Kyoto paid double not to prosecute... about ninety thousand." Tenchi's jaw falls to the floor. "Ninety thousand yen?!" "Give or take an extra thousand," says Kyoto airily. "Don't worry; Tenchi can pay me back later." Before Tenchi can respond, he changes the subject. "We have everything boxed up and ready to go upstairs." Kiyone nods. "Let's do it." As they move the boxes down and to the cars Mihoshi keeps looking around the emptying apartment with eyes that grow ever sadder. When the studio apartment is finally empty, she presses herself against the wall and starts bawling. "Good-bye, apartment! We'll miss you!" Tenchi and Kiyone gently pry her off the wall. "It's all right, Mihoshi," soothes Kiyone. "The apartment will be fine. Besides, now we get to go back to the Masaki house, remember?" Mihoshi suddenly brightens. "That's right!" She triumphantly picks up the last box and marches out the door. Kiyone sighs in exasperated amusement. She takes a last look around the now-empty room and sighs. "Hard to believe...I'm actually going..." Tenchi wraps an arm around her shoulders. "Ready?" She looks up at him and smiles. This is my future, and this is my home. "Yes, Tenchi-yon. Let's go home." * * * * * * * * * * * It's nearly ten P.M. when they get everything put away. Keiichi had left some time ago, after consenting to joining them for a meal. He had commented that Sasami was as good a cook as Belldandy, and the young princess had blushed. Tenchi is glad that he let Washu talk him into creating more dimensional portals around the house. Now everyone has their own room. He stretches and yawns. "Man, I'm tired." Kiyone yawns in agreement. "I am, too." She looks at her husband. "Ready to go to bed, Tenchi-yon?" He nods. "Okay, so, g'night everyone." "Good-night, Tenchi, good-night, Kiyone," says Nobuyuki. "Get some sleep, Tenchi, you've gotta go to school tomorrow." Tenchi groans. "I know." "That's right!" scolds Sasami. "So you and Mommy c--" Her admonitions fall flat when Tenchi picks her up and hugs her. "Nighty-night, Sami-cha'ya." "Good-night, Daddy," whispers Sasami. "Can you tuck me in?" "We both will," offers Kiyone. As she and Tenchi carry Sasami up to bed she meets Washu's eyes. The scientist nods almost imperceptibly. After reading Sasami a bedtime story and kissing her good-night, Tenchi carries Kiyone to their bedroom. He sets her down gently and falls back on the bed, already too tired to move. He barely notices when she crawls onto the bed and pulls the covers over them, barely notices when she snuggles up to him. Kiyone is on the verge of falling asleep herself when she hears Tenchi murmur, "I don' wanna go." Not wishing to make any noise, she links her mind to his and inquires, Where don't you wanna go, Tenchi-yon? "School," he murmurs. "Don' wanna be wit'out you...it's hell wit'out you, K'yone-yoni..." His breathing shallows out again, the brief moment of wakefulness gone. Kiyone sighs contentedly and leans back against Tenchi. Don't worry, Tenchi-yon. You won't be without me... Sasami smiles brightly as she sees Tenchi come down the stairs. "Daddy! You look great!" Tenchi smiles. "Thanks, Sasami." In recent months, his school had instituted an alternate uniform. For the male students it was a dark blue, almost purple, suit with matching tie and white shirt. For the girls, an goldenrod blazer and olive pleated skirt with dark tie and white blouse (I assume that you readers are now starting to see why I included a disclaimer for El-Hazard in the opening credits). And the future Jurai Emperor does look quite dapper in his suit. "I'm glad you like it." "I like it too, Tenchi-yon," puts in Kiyone, coming down the stairs in shorts and a light gray T-shirt reading GALAXY POLICE ACADEMY--CLASS OF ‘678 on it in lime-green Jurai script. She wraps her arms around his waist and kisses his neck. "Are you sure you wanna go to school today?" she adds in her most seductive voice. Tenchi sighs, trying not enjoy the sensation of Kiyone’s pert breasts being pressed into his back too much. "I wish I could stay home today, Kiyone-yoni, but I really have to go." "I don't get that either, Daddy," puts in Sasami as she joins Kiyone in hugging Tenchi. "If you've already decided to become Emperor, why are you still doing this?" He picks her up and hugs her. "Oh, Sami-cha'ya, it's kinda hard to explain. I guess the best way to say it is that this is the best way of closing this chapter of my life, so I can face what is to come. So I can fully concentrate on Jurai...and you two." He hugs both girls again. "So let's eat." "Good idea! I'm hungry!" chirps Mihoshi as she comes down the stairs. Breakfast passes quickly, considering that half the house's population is still unconscious. Tenchi is so caught up in the conversation that when he looks at his watch, he yelps and jumps out off of his cushion. "Ohmigod! I'm late!" He rushes out the door--and rushes back in a moment later, a chagrined expression on his face. "Uh, heh heh heh...I forgot my bag...and shoes..." He retrieves these items, blows kisses to Kiyone and Sasami, and bolts again. Once the door has slammed shut, Kiyone sighs. "Time for me to get ready, too." She turns to Washu. "You have them?" Washu nods and passes a sheaf of documents across the table. "They've been signed by your ‘father.’" She shoots a wry expression at Nobuyuki. "Don't worry, they'll never know it's your signature." Sasami laughs. "Daddy's gonna be so happy to see you, Mommy!" Nobuyuki stands up. "As soon as you're ready, I'll take you into town." Kiyone smiles and takes Sasami's hand. "Can you help me get beautiful for your father, Sami-cha'ya?" Laughing happily, Sasami leads Kiyone to the bathroom. "We'll make you perfect for him, Mommy!" * * * * * * * * * * * The bus pulls to a stop in front of Shinonome High School, and Tenchi joins the throng of students disembarking, becoming lost in a sea of students. Some are dressed like him in the business suit-like alternate uniforms, others in the regular black pants and jacket (for guys), or plaid skirt with forest-green jacket and matching vest, white blouse, and string tie (for girls), of regular uniforms. As he gathers in the courtyard with the rest of the student body for the principal's morning speech, and afterwards as he heads back to his homeroom, Tenchi is moving on autopilot, his mind back at home with his heart. One of these days, he muses, I'm gonna ask Dad, "How difficult it was for him to go to work and be away from Mom all day?" Was it anything like the way I feel right now? Does it get easier with time? I hope so, ‘cause being away from her is-- He gives himself a swift mental kick. What the hell are you bitching about?! Only a couple more months, and you two’ll never have to be apart again! And it’s your choice to put yourself through this! He walks into his homeroom, heading towards his locker. He pulls it open and remembers something that he had made sure to bring with him. From his jacket he pulls a picture of Kiyone and him, on the beach on some planet from their travels. She has her arms around his neck and is winking while grinning lustfully at the camera, and his arms are around her waist. She’s in his lap. Smiling, he produces a roll of tape from the locker and tapes up the picture. I’ve been waiting so long to be able to do that... "Hey, Tenchi!" Tenchi whips around, wondering if someone saw his dreamy gaze at the picture, and his lips curve upward in a smile. "Makoto! Nanami!" Standing before him are two students, seniors like him, both dressed in the alternate uniforms. The young man is about his height, with an open, honest face and hair with ruffled bangs a la Keiichi Morisato. The young lady, slightly shorter than her companion, has reddish-blond hair and a mischievous grin on her face. Makoto Mizuhara and Nanami Jinnai. (All right, you El-Hazard fans who think I’m going over the line now can send your death threats to mephisto_lord_of_destruction@juno.com.) These two have been close friends of Tenchi’s since childhood, even though the divergent interest have led them down different paths. While Tenchi has risen to fame as the kendo club vice-president and the prefecture champion, Makoto is head of the school’s science club. Nanami is the student council president, having taken over the position after her older brother had had something of a nervous breakdown. Katsuhiko had always been something of a power freak, but apparently during a weekend trip he, Nanami, and Makoto took with Mr. Fujisawa, he went completely unhinged. The bought-votes scandal had caused him to start claiming that he was the conqueror of someplace called El-Hazard. The other three kept their mouths shut, but Tenchi did notice that almost immediately after their return, a girl named Ifurita became a student at Shinonome (she and Makoto seemed to be quite close, something that apparently Nanami didn’t mind). Almost simultaneously, Fujisawa had announced his marriage. The woman, yet another girl with an unearthly hair color, became a teacher. He shakes his head. "How was your weekend, you guys?" Makoto shrugs. "Same old, same old." I mean, how do you tell your friends that you’re a big shot in another time and place? Tenchi is thinking the same thing, and he also decides not to pursue it. "Me, too." "Hey!" Tenchi suddenly becomes aware of Nanami looking at his locker. She edges in closer. "Who’s the girl?" My wife, Tenchi thinks. But then he catches himself. "Well...I met someone a while ago..." Nanami looks very interested. "And? And?" "Well...now we’re...a couple." As soon as he says the words, he thinks, Now, why the hell didn’t I want to tell them? "Wow!" Makoto looks impressed. "Congratulations, Tenchi!" Nanami looks almost ecstatic, as if she can already see herself as the maid of honor (or Japanese equivalent). "Tenchi! That's wonderful! What's her name?" Despite himself, Tenchi finds himself excited at being able to talk about her. "Her name is Kiyone. I--" He is interrupted by the bell. With an apologetic smile and an "all-the-news-later" look in their direction, he rushes for his seat. The class is fully seated and quieted just as Masamichi Fujisawa comes into the room. Privately, Tenchi is convinced that a razor would do little to rid his face of that omnipresent stubble. The teacher looks around the room. "Good morning. Nice to see you're all here." He smiles wryly. "Now, we have a new student starting today, and I want you all to try to make her feel welcome." He turns to the door, and says softly. "All right, Miss Makibi, you can come in now." He is looking out the open door, and so does not see Tenchi sit up in his seat rather violently. A split-second before his beloved walked through the door, Tenchi heard her voice in his head. I told you that you wouldn't be without me, Tenchi-yon... Kiyone walks in the door. She is dressed in her schoolgirl's outfit, which is similar to the regular uniform except for her skirt, which is a bit shorter. She has her hair darkened till it looks almost black, done up in a single ponytail, and swept over her left shoulder, and her headband is missing. Sasami did a good job this morning. Her mother does look almost perfect (although as far as Tenchi is concerned, she always does...). Evidently the rest of the guys in the classroom agree, for they're all leaning forward, and Tenchi thinks he can see some drool dripping from several lips. Makoto is gulping while Nanami is shooting him evil glares. Fujisawa starts talking again. "This is Kiyone Makibi, a senior-year student. She's just arrived from Hawaii." He motions to the empty desk in front of Tenchi. "Miss Makibi, there's an empty desk right in front of Mr. Masaki." "Yes, Mr. Fujisawa," says Kiyone cheerfully, walking over and sitting in front of Tenchi. Her husband's heart and mind are racing. Oh my god, my Kiyone-yoni's here, she's here... Aren't you glad to see me, Daddy? Her voice, and the girlish giggle accompanying it in her mental communiqué, makes him gulp. God in heaven yes he's glad to see her, but he can just see his studies going out the window now. He wrenches his attention back to the present just as Fujisawa calls out, "Tenchi!" He sits up even straighter. "Ah, yes, Mr. Fujisawa?" "Mr. Masaki, I want you to watch after Miss Makibi, show her around, introduce her to people, basically just help her get settled in. Take good care of her; I don't think it would do the vice-president of the kendo club any good for his charge to be maligned." Snickers run around the classroom at this. Oh, god. My wife is enrolled as a student here. My teacher is giving me carte blanche to be alone with her on a regular basis. And now she has an excuse to wear that schoolgirl's outfit. This is a wonderfully real dream, but now how the hell am I gonna graduate? He winces slightly as something pokes his arm. A note from Nanami reading, "Is that the Kiyone you were talking about?" Sighing, he shoots a look at her and nods. Nanami responds with a grin. The smile clearly reads, "Hope you can control yourself." He rolls his eyes at the lame joke, since he is considered to be one of the most chivalrous students in the school, even known to get nosebleeds when seeing a girl half-undressed. Oh, if only she knew how much had changed this weekend... Fortunately, Fujisawa has started sketching on the board, and he is grateful for the chance to lose himself in algebraic formulae. Lunchtime is the first moment Tenchi and Kiyone actually get to have some private time, and now Tenchi gets an explanation. He was not at all surprised to see that her class schedule was identical to his, or that she had been assigned as his partner in every lab class. "So...you got Washu and my dad to help you with this?" Kiyone nods. "Yep. The papers and stuff are as genuine as they get." She smiles at Tenchi. "You are glad to see me, aren't you, Tenchi-yon?" Tenchi smiles and covers his wife's hand with his. "Of course I am, Kiyone-yoni. I'm just afraid that, with you here, I won't be able to concentrate on my schoolwork." Kiyone blushes slightly. "T-T-Tenchi-yon..." "And also," adds Tenchi, "did you get a look at the response when you walked in the door?" Kiyone shakes her head. "What kind of response was it?" Tenchi gives her a wry look. "The floors were slick with drool, and when you sat down, it was like the whole classroom was holding its breath." "Are you afraid someone's gonna throw me over his shoulder and run off?" teases Kiyone. "Tenchi, you don't have to worry about that. I married you, and I'm not gonna be seduced by one of your classmates." "I know," assures Tenchi, who in spite of himself looks a little bit relieved. "Actually, I'm more concerned about what you'd do to someone who tries to change your mind." Kiyone smiles sweetly. "I promise, Tenchi, I won't kill anyone." Tenchi is about to respond when he sees Nanami and Makoto coming toward them. "Oh, here come my friends Nanami, Makoto, and Ifurita." "Invite them to eat with us," suggests Kiyone. "I want to meet all your friends here, Tenchi." Tenchi squeezes her hand and motions the two students over. "Come on and sit with us!" As the three sit down, he makes introductions. "How long have you two known each other?" asks Nanami. Mr. and Mrs. Masaki exchange loving looks. "It... it feels like a lifetime," Kiyone says quietly. Makoto chuckles. "Look at you two. It's almost like you're married." If only he knew... thinks Tenchi dryly. "So, Kiyone," asks Ifurita, having wandered in from her classroom for lunch and twirling an ice-blue lock around one finger, "are you planning to join any of the clubs?" "Maybe," answers Kiyone shyly. "Is there a volleyball club?" To Tenchi's mind, she sends the following thought: Here's your chance to see me in a volleyball uniform, Tenchi-yon, whaddya think? And I thought I was too young to have a stroke, he quips. The rest of Kiyone's first day back in high school goes fairly smoothly, and both of them get a lot of envious looks as they board the bus. They worsen on the bus, where Tenchi can be watched with his arm around her and Kiyone snuggled in close. As they approach the house, they can clearly hear the sounds of combat, explosions and yelling. Tenchi groans. "I thought they said they'd stop..." "I'm surprised that they lasted this long," replies Kiyone. "Let's hurry and see if we can play damage control. Surprising, they see there is no need. What had happened was that Ayeka and Ryoko were playing video games with Azaka and Kamidake and had turned the volume all the way. The explosion came from when the TV exploded--they had everything turned up to the max, and the poor device gave up the ghost. Not surprisingly, all four of them were looking rather worried when Tenchi and Kiyone rushed into the house, and were even more worried when Tenchi fell down on the floor laughing insanely and looking incredibly relieved. "You know, Tenchi," says Ryoko timidly, "if it'll make you laugh, we can blow up the fridge too..." Still laughing and tears running down his face, Tenchi gets up. "No, no, Ryoko, that's not necessary. We just heard the explosions and were afraid that you and Ayeka were fighting again." Ryoko and Ayeka both look at him with mock-hurt expressions. "Lord Tenchi," huffs Ayeka, "do you really think so little of our promises?" Tenchi raises an eyebrow. After a long moment, both girls cry out, "Well, we weren't fighting!" "I know, and I'm glad." Tenchi looks at Azaka and Kamidake. "Not that I'm angry, but dare I ask about the TV?" After hesitating a moment, both knights point at Ayeka and Ryoko. "No problem!" Washu suddenly appears from her lab, carrying a briefcase. "Uh, Washu, what do you mean, ‘no problem'?" asks Tenchi. "I mean, no problem!" Washu sets her briefcase down next to the burnt piece of carpet that used to contain the television, opens it, and pulls out a giant-screen model, complete with VCR, DVD player, a Web TV keyboard, surround-sound speakers, and what appears to be an old bunny ears-type antenna. Tenchi's eyes are wide. "Th-than-thanks, Washu. Just one question: what's with the antenna?" "This is no antenna!" laughs Washu. "This is a transgalactic modem! This will allow you to pick up any signal in the galaxy! Let me demonstrate." She picks up the new remote control--which looks like a cellular phone--and points it at the TV. Even though not yet plugged in, the screen goes on and they find themselves looking at a Galaxy Nightly News report. "All right!" cheers Ryoko, snatching the remote away from Washu and tapping in a new channel. On this one is a soap opera, the one that, in all these months, Ryoko and Ayeka have still never seen the end of. In this scene, the grocery delivery boy is seducing the housewife. "You know you want this," he tells her in such a serious tone that it sounds hilarious. "No! No, I can't..." she responds in the most unconvincing voice Tenchi has every heard. By now, Ryoko and Ayeka are sitting on the couch, leaning forward with looks of anticipation on their faces. Azaka and Kamidake, still standing, are looking back and forth from the girls to the TV and back again, wearing expressions of confusion. The grocery boy takes the housewife's hands in his, leans in for a kiss. Her head tips back, her eyes already closing. Their lips touch... ...and the scene is replaced by a commercial, some new idol singer hawking a new brand of soda. Both princess and pirate slump in disappointment. "You know," comments Washu, "you could have asked me if you wanted to know how that scene ended. I found that out back in June." She continues eating as she ignores the evil looks and throw pillows being thrown by the princess and pirate. Tenchi grins. "Somehow, that ending doesn’t surprise me." He squeezes Kiyone’s right shoulder. "Kiyone-yoni, I’m going upstairs to change. Grandpa probably wants to practice." He disappears up the stairs. Kiyone sighs, sounding like a young girl who’s been kissed for the first time. It’s probably just as well that Ayeka and Ryoko are still sobbing over their disappointment, for then she would become the object of fierce teasing. She is at any rate. Sasami comes down the stairs and, with a huge grin on her face, almost barrels Kiyone over as she rushes up to embrace her. "Mommy!" Kiyone gives the adorable little princess--her adopted daughter--a big hug. "Hi, Sami-cha’ya! What have you been up to today?" "Nothing special," laughs Sasami. "So, did you and Daddy have a good day at school?" Her smile becomes teasing. "Were you and Daddy naughty at school?" Kiyone laughs. "Sami-cha’ya, your father and I aren’t that bad. Yes, we had a good day, and no, we weren’t naughty." "Hey, Sami-cha’ya, I just told you that!" chides Tenchi as he comes down the stairs. He has changed from his school uniform into jeans and a T-shirt with an RX-78 GP01 Gundam on it, and a tattered light-blue buttondown shirt over it. "Well, I don’t believe you!" shoots back Sasami playfully. "I bet you were trying to be naughty with Mommy all day!" "Well, I wasn’t." He gives Sasami a quick hug, eliciting a delighted giggle, and gives a not-so-quick hug to Kiyone. "I’ll be back in an hour or so." "Promise?" Kiyone murmurs, still clinging to Tenchi. Sasami, calling them "naughty," has gone into the kitchen to start on dinner. "Promise." He reluctantly breaks away from her and heads for the door. As he stands in the doorway, he turns to see Kiyone blowing him a kiss. He catches the kiss and slips it into his shirt pocket. Kiyone fake-swoons at this, causing Washu to roll her eyes. (Ayeka and Ryoko are still sobbing over the soap.) Once Tenchi leaves the room, Washu casts a wry look at Kiyone. "Very sweet. Seems to run pretty close to saccharine." Kiyone smiles at Washu. It's one of those annoyingly happy smiles that people in love wear--the kind that piss the rest of us off. "Haven't you ever been in love, Washu?" To her surprise, Washu nods. "Yes. I don't recall it being that sweet though." She sighs, cursing herself for even this small showing of weakness. Kiyone, the smile mellowing, winces. "I'm sorry." "Don't worry about it," says the scientist briskly. "My love is my research, and it has never failed me. I hope--I believe--that Tenchi will be the same for you." With that, she leaves the living room. Kiyone stands there for a moment, trying to ponder any hidden meaning from Washu's words, until finally shelving the thought for later. She decides to take a walk before dinner. Maybe I'll run into Tenchi-yon, she thinks hopefully. In the woods, Tenchi is soundly kicking Katsuhito's ass. Since the battle with Kagato--in fact, since he had proved that being a mere student of Yosho's meant he was a better fighter that just about everyone else--his practices with his grandfather had been going more and more in his favor. He had been winning more and more, and it was becoming easier and easier for him to anticipate Katsuhito's moves. Right now he has just dodged under a lightning-quick succession of cuts from his grandfather's bokken, and he ducks behind him, slips his own wooden sword on over against Katsuhito's jugular, and now he pulls back viciously, rolling himself off to one side. As Katsuhito's vision comes back into focus, the first thing he becomes aware of is that Tenchi's foot is planted firmly on his chest, and that the tip of his grandson's sword is at his throat. Tenchi is grinning. "How ’bout that, Grandpa?" He sets down his sword and helps his grandfather to his feet. "You okay?" Katsuhito nods, then laughs and claps his grandson on the shoulder. "Very good, Tenchi. Very good, indeed. Not only have you beaten me every time today, but that last one was less than two minutes into it." He sighs. "I guess I must be losing my touch." Tenchi shrugs. "I don't think so, Grandpa." He picks up his bokken and kisses it. "It's the sword. I finally named it." Katsuhito looks surprised. "Really? What did you name it?" "Kiyoneken." Katsuhito nods in approval. "Good, good. It is said that there is little difference between a woman and a sword, and a weapon named after your beloved can never betray you." "Exactly," agreed Tenchi. "Besides, you should have seen the look on her face when I told her. She looked so happy..." His own face is lighting up at the pleasant memory. He doesn't notice Katsuhito sneaking around behind him, preparing to exact vengeance for the ignominy heaped upon him by his grandson. The older man raises his bokken, starts to bring it down on Tenchi's head...and is extremely shocked by Tenchi's quick pivot-and-block. After a few minutes of struggle, Tenchi forces Katsuhito into a fencing-style duel, finally circling his blade with his own and sweeping the entire weapon up into the air. The wooden sword grounds with a thump! several meters from Katsuhito, who can't move in any case because Tenchi's blade is at his throat again. Now the look on Katsuhito's face is one of chagrin. "Damn. Next thing I know, your father will beat me." "Let's hope not, for your self-esteem's sake," laughs Tenchi. "Almost dinnertime, I--" "Tenchi-yon!" Tenchi's head whips around to see his Kiyone standing there, the wind blowing in her hair, looking absolutely adorable. A big grin appears on his face. "Kiyone-yoni!" He starts to walk towards her, whips around momentarily to knock Katsuhito's bokken out of his hands again, and hugs his wife. "My Kiyone-yoni!" "Tenchi-yon," she says happily, resting her head on his shoulder. They walk down the steps towards the house, stopping every so often to defeat Katsuhito again. They get to the house just in time to see Nobuyuki's Corolla pull up. He gets out of the car with an excited expression on his face. "Tenchi! There's something in the back that I need you to help me get out!" "Dad! Did you bring another high school girl home?" "Huh?" Kiyone has a confused expression on her face as she looks from Nobuyuki to Tenchi and back to Nobuyuki once again. "Tenchi, has your dad been bringing girls home for you all along?" "Yes, but I made him drive them all home!" Tenchi glares at his father. "What's in the car, Dad?" Nobuyuki is grinning. "It's a surprise!" "Drive her home, Dad, I'm married, remember?" "No, silly, it's your computer!" Tenchi, chagrined and chastened, hangs his head. "Sorry, Dad." "That's all right, if it had been a girl, it wouldn't have been for you." Tenchi gives his father a disgusted glare before opening the back door of the car and pulling out the large boxes. Sasami looks on with wide eyes, as Tenchi, Nobuyuki, and Kiyone walk into the house, each one carrying a large box. "Wow, what is that? Another new TV?" Nobuyuki has a surprised expression on his face. "Another new TV? Tenchi, what's been going on while I was at work?" "Ayeka and Ryoko blew the old one up and Washu made a new one." Tenchi smiles at Sasami. "Sami-cha'ya, this is our new computer." "We're very lucky to have gotten this one," says Nobuyuki. "This was the only IBM left, otherwise I would have had to buy a Mac!" Kyoto, clad in an olive drab bathrobe, comes down the stairs. "Oh, a new computer!" He grins knowingly at Tenchi. "So, gonna do some 'research' on the Net tonight, Tenchi?" "Actually," replies Tenchi, "this is perfect timing. I have a research paper to do, and now I can both write it and research it." Sasami giggles. "You're not gonna look up naughty stuff, are you, Daddy?" "Sami-cha'ya..." Tenchi rolls his eyes. "I think I'm gonna take a bath now. Let's set this sucker up after dinner." "You need some help, Tenchi-yon?" offers Kiyone. "That would be nice," agrees Tenchi, and so the two of them head towards their room, to get clean clothes. "They're not gonna be naughty, are they, Grandpa Nobuyuki?" asks Sasami. "If they are," replies Nobuyuki, "I hope they clean up after themselves." Dinner is as lively as ever. The only one not taking part in the conversation is Katsuhito, who has a black eye and a myriad of lesser bruises. He is sulking silently while Kiyone and Sasami are fawning over Tenchi's sole wound, a small welt on his right cheek. Kiyone is "kissing it and making it all better" every few seconds. "So," asks Nobuyuki, "how was your first day of school, Kiyone?" "It was pretty good," replies his daughter-in-law. "I think I'm gonna join the volleyball team." "That's good," says Nobuyuki in approval. "My wife was on the volleyball team there, you know." "I know." Kiyone turns back to her husband. "By the way, Tenchi-yon, do you know how many girls there were watching you?" Tenchi shrugs. "Probably just wondering what a vision like you sees in me." "You don't know?!" Nobuyuki has a look of shock on his face. "Tenchi, Kiyone isn't kidding. I've seen girls around you, and their faces light up when you walk in the room!" Tenchi smiles. "Nice try, Dad. Even if I believed you, though, I wouldn't want any other girl." He squeezes Kiyone's hand, and she giggles happily. "Well, I just thought you'd like to know." Nobuyuki raises the cup of tea to his lips and sips. "Wonderful tea, Sasami. You are a professional, now aren't you?" Sasami giggles and refills his cup. "Thanks, Grandpa Nobuyuki." "So, when are we going to put it together?" asks Kyoto, jerking his thumb in the direction of Tenchi's room. "Oh, oh, the computer." Tenchi gets up from the table. "Let's do it now." "Can I look up porn when you're done?" asks Chi-Ohki. "Cause I know this great site, it's www.cherry.inter.net." "I don't think so!" Tenchi, Kyoto, and Nobuyuki carry the boxes up to Tenchi's room. Once up there, they break open the boxes and find themselves immediately stumped. Tenchi has the instructions spread out all over the floor and he is trying the puzzle some logic out of them. "Insert plug A in slot C.... Dad, that's not it!" Too late. There is a flash of light and Nobuyuki is sent sailing across the room. He looks like charcoal and smells of burnt flesh. He slowly wobbles to his feet, moaning faintly in pain. "Ohhhhh.... awk..." "Maybe if you let your son finish reading the instructions, you might not continue to have this problem," quips Kyoto as he changes the leg he's standing on. "What are you talking about? I've only done it twice." "That's it exactly, Dad. If you don't wait, you might ruin the computer, and I-- Hey!" He immediately starts wrestling with Ryo-Ohki for the instruction sheet, for she seems to regard the instruction sheet as a snack. "Give that back, Ryo-Ohki!" "Mi-ya!" Ryo-Ohki, however, seems to like the taste of paper with ink on it. Tenchi groans. "Sasami-cha'ya! Get Ryo-Ohki out of my room! She's trying to eat the instructions!" No response. All at once, Ryo-Ohki darts out of the room. Yelping, Tenchi gets to his feet and gives chase. "Hey! Ryo-Ohki, come back here with those!" Kyoto rolls his eyes. "I would bet much that Kiyone sent her up here just to draw Tenchi back down to her." He shrugs. "Ah, well. I think we can get this sucker running without instructions." "My thoughts exactly," agrees Nobuyuki. "In fact, I--hey!" He finds himself being pushed out of Tenchi's room. "Hey! Whaddya think you're doing?" "Saving you money," answers Kyoto. "Bring Tenchi back in here in thirty minutes." He slams the door shut. Tenchi has chased Ryo-Ohki all the way down the stairs and is now running into the living room. He almost literally slams into Kiyone. "Sorry, Kiyone-yoni, I--" he blinks as he sees Ryo-Ohki scampering up to Sasami and laying the instructions at her feet. Sasami giggles, takes the instructions, and pats Ryo-Ohki on the head. "Thank you, Ryo-Ohki." Tenchi has a look of astonishment on his face. "Sami-cha'ya, Kiyone-yoni, why did you do this?" Kiyone fakes a pout. "Tenchi-yon, you've been spending too much time with Kyoto and not enough with us. Daddy's little girls are lonely." "Kiyone-yoni, please! Not in front of Sasami!" Much as Tenchi enjoys hearing his wife calling him that, he really doesn't want to hear it right now. "I promise I'll spend some time with you right now." "Uh, oh. You two are going to be naughty!" chides Sasami. Tenchi picks her up and hugs her, eliciting a squeal of delight. "Daddy, are you going to be naughty with me too?" Tenchi almost drops her. "Cut that out, Sami-cha'ya, your mom and I aren't going to be naughty tonight." He pulls Kiyone close to him and leads the girls over to the couch. "Now, let's see what we can get with the cosmic cable box." Sasami and Kiyone exchange mischievous glances as they sit down on each side of Tenchi. Tenchi picks up the cellular-phone-like remote and clicks a button. The TV clicks on and the GNN nightly report is playing. "...In recent events, the up and coming emperor of Jurai, Tenchi Masaki, has granted political asylum to the two most wanted criminals in the universe, the space pirates Ryoko and Kyoto Minamoto. There is a torrent of rumors flying recently that the allegedly depraved duo, one of the most widely spoken of is their up and coming wedding. Reasons for their political asylum remain unknown, although it is rumored that they had a hand in assisting Lord Tenchi and other legitimate members of the Jurai royal family in ousting the usurper, Kagato, from the throne last year. We have been unable to reach Lord Tenchi at this--" Tenchi raises the remote. Click! Now on the screen is Police Magic! This is a popular sitcom about two female police officers, one a twit and the other a genius. "It seems someone made a comedy out of your life story, Kiyone-yoni," comments Tenchi. "Uh huh." She gives Tenchi's arm a light squeeze and drops into mental link mode. Do you want someone to make a TV show about this part of our life? I'm afraid it would receive a quadruple X rating, my love. "You're thinking naughty things, aren't you?" teases Sasami. Tenchi and Kiyone exchange an exasperated glance and hang their heads. "You were! I knew it, I knew it! You're thinking naughty, you're thinking naughty!" "Sami-cha'ya, could you please leave your mother and I alone? You know, some private time?" asks Tenchi pointedly, almost too pointedly. "Ohhhhh... okay, g'night Mommy, g'night Daddy." Still laughing, Sasami heads off to find something else to do. Tenchi and Kiyone snuggle closer to each other, and Tenchi flips the channel again, this time to a romantic movie. Kiyone sits up in delight. "Crossing A Star! I love this movie! It's one of the best romantic movies every made!" Tenchi pulls his wife closer to him. "Well then, Kiyone-yoni, we're just gonna have to watch it, aren't we?" She sighs in contentment as he kisses her gently, and they settle back to watch the pair of lovers sneak aboard a starship, their ticket to freedom. "Isn't this better than that silly computer?" she asks. "Much," he tells her. Suddenly the screen shifts, and they're watching Police Magic! again. A moment later, they hear Mihoshi and Sasami cheering and laughing. Tenchi turns around and gives the two girls an exasperated look. "Hey, we were watching something." "But this is more interesting than some dumb old love story!" argues Sasami. Mihoshi pulls Kiyone to her feet. "Come one, Kiyone, help me sing the theme song!" "I don't want to, Mihoshi! Can't you and Sasami go upstairs and watch this on Kyoto's portable TV?" "But Ki-yo-ne! Ryoko and Ayeka are hogging it!" She tugs on Kiyone's arm. "Come on, Kiyone, show Tenchi how good you can sing!" Kiyone sighs and hangs her head. "Only if it will make you happy," replies Kiyone dryly. "Don't worry, Kiyone-yoni, you'll do great," assures Tenchi. Smiling in thanks, Kiyone stands up next to Mihoshi, and they start to sing just as the music starts. Where did you go? Wait a minute, Mr. Criminal. If you hide, I can't arrest you. Oh dear, because of my missiles that missed, the whole city is full of holes, isn't it. The moon has waned, I wonder if it's also because I shot it. It's a POLICE MAGIC! If you wanna see me, You can whistle whenever you want! A written apology, good heavens! Write it with me? What kind of crime did you commit? 'Cause I really don't know very well, but... It's okay. The crime is not major or minor not pine nor bamboo nor plum [not worst nor worse nor bad]*. I'll also chase the cat with the fish in its mouth**. It's a POLICE MAGIC! If you gonna need me, You can whistle whenever you want! What, oh dear, I can't stop. I've been overtaken. Wait up! Well, well, a screw in a place like this. One came off, oh dear. Although I am on the job for the sake of interstellar peace... O.K. POLICE MAGIC! If you wanna see me... I've lost sight of him. I'll leave it to the wind, to search him out. A wind in space... is there any such thing?... POLICE MAGIC! If you wanna see me, You can whistle whenever you want! If you leave it to me, I'll resolve it soon! All right!* Tenchi stands up and starts clapping. "That was wonderful, Kiyone-yoni, you should have become a professional singer." Sasami cheers. "You sing great, Mommy! Sing another song!" Kiyone smiles. "Sorry, little lady, no more songs for you tonight. It's way past your bedtime!" Sasami pouts. "Daddy, do I have to go to bed?" "Yes, little miss, it's way past all little princesses' bedtime." He picks her up and hugs her. "Do you want us to tuck you in?" Sasami nods. "Okay." She then looks at Mihoshi. "Auntie Mihoshi, could you make sure that Mommy and Daddy don't get naughty while I'm asleep!" "All right!" Mihoshi looks at Tenchi and Kiyone. "Now, don't you two get naughty!" Tenchi and Kiyone roll their eyes as they carry Sasami back up the stairs. "She is still chiding them. "Now remember, Mommy and Daddy, since I'm a goddess..." Mihoshi wanders in the kitchen to get a snack. Upstairs, Kyoto has just finished assembling the computer. "Yes! Yes! It's done! I am the god! I am the god!" He regards his creation and nods in satisfaction. "Now, let's see if it works as advertised..." He plugs in the phone cord, sticks it in one of the wall's double-sockets, enables the dialer program, and clicks on Netscape. Thinking for a moment, he clicks on the address box and types in the string of numbers and letters. He yowls in satisfaction as he sees a giant bottle of saké appear on the screen. Stenciled beneath it in both kanji and English are the words "Worldwide Booze Links." A cackle escapes from his lips. "Oh, yeah! Here we go!" "Hey, Kyoto, you got it up and running! Thanks!" Tenchi and Kiyone, hand in hand, come into their room. Kiyone looks at the screen in curiosity. "Kyoto, why is there a big bottle of saké on the screen?" "I’m trying to look up alcohol distributors," explains Kyoto. "You know, for my restaurant idea...?" He sighs in satisfaction as the other two nod. "If I gotta go straight..." "You do if you want that pardon," replies Tenchi firmly. "All right. I’m not a bad cook, and I think I could make a living off of it. After all, Tenchi, I don’t want to impose on you guys forever." "Well," says Kiyone pointedly. "You’re kinda imposing on us now, no offense, so if you would please excuse us..." She and Tenchi exchange a look that makes Kyoto groan. "I know you guys are having a hard time controlling yourselves, but unless you want Sasami to have a little brother or sister before you get on the throne..." "We’ll control ourselves," assures Tenchi. "We just have a little homework we need to do before bed." "I’ll bet. Well, I’ll stay to make sure you do your homework instead of each other." He laughs as Tenchi and Kiyone groan. Much to his surprise, the two of them actually do have some homework, and they manage to finish it with only a minimum of kissing and touching. Maybe they have more self-control than I though, Kyoto muses. Kiyone stretches and yawns. "All done." Tenchi nods. "Kyoto..." "Okay, I’m on my way out," agrees Kyoto. "Anyway, I think I'll leave you two alone to sleep...or whatever." He steps out the door, closing it behind him. The last thing he sees before closing the door is Tenchi stretching and yawning, and Kiyone snuggling close for warmth. They’ll be sleeping in their clothes tonight, he muses. Once he reaches the downstairs, he finds that Sasami is defying her bedtime. She is channel-surfing with Ryo-Ohki sitting atop her head, mi-yaing in approval and disapproval of the programming. She looks up with a guilty expression as Kyoto sits down next to her. "Uh-oh." "Don't worry, Sasami," assures Kyoto. "I won't tell your parents." Sasami sighs in relief, then asks, "What are they doing upstairs?" "I think they're trying to sleep," answers Kyoto. Sasami flashes a lighthearted grin. "They're being naughty, aren't they? And soon I'm gonna have a little brother or sister!" Kyoto shakes his head. "Not necessarily. There are ways of being naughty without running the risk of getting pregnant--divine intervention or no." "Oh." Sasami looks very inquisitive. "Like what?" Kyoto blushes for the second time that day. "Um. Er. Ah. Well, you should probably ask your parents--but not right now," he adds hastily. "Whatcha watching?" Taking a closer look at the screen, he answers his own question. "Oh, I see." The young princess nods in excitement. "Yeah! It's a documentary on Ohkis! Ryo-Ohki wants to watch it 'cause she thinks she'll see some relatives!" Out of nowhere they hear a loud giggle and what sounds like Kiyone's voice moaning in pleasure. Sasami looks up at Kyoto. "Are they doing something naughty now, Kyoto?" Kyoto nods. "They probably are." Unnoticed by either of them, who settle back to watch the documentary, Chi-Ohki listens to this information. His mind starts to plot what he can do to the future Emperor and Empress of Jurai... * * * * * * * * * * * * Tenchi slowly comes to. He's feeling really weird, like he's slumped across a support beam or something. He starts to roll over, expecting to find Kiyone next to him. What he does find next to him is a vertical support beam. He looks down and his eyes go wide as he finds himself slumped across a support beam. Fortunately it's not too far a drop for him, so he just lets himself fall and he lands in a crouch. He starts to look around when he realizes something. He's not wearing his pajamas. In fact, he's not wearing his underwear. He's in someone else's. Someone else's leopard-skin bikini briefs. Tenchi is now completely freaked. He's looking around for something to cover himself with when he notices that the porch door is open. Moving toward it, he slides it all the way open to find-- Kiyone, wearing nothing but a silky G-string and a smile. She is shifting in her sleep and moaning. "Oh, Tenchi-yon... you're so good.... more, daddy, give your little girl a little more..." Her words set off enjoyable impulses in Tenchi's body, but he knows that this not the time to give into them. He leans down and gently picks her up in his arms. "Kiyone-yoni... wake up, Kiyone-yoni...." Her eyes slowly flutter open and she smiles up at Tenchi. "Morning, daddy, your little girl was dreaming about you." Tenchi brushes back his urges. "Kiyone-yoni, what are you doing on the porch? And why are you wearing someone else's underwear? Those aren't your panties." Now, Kiyone comes fully awake. Her eyes snap open completely, and she looks around. "Tenchi, what are we doing on the porch?" She looks down. "And whose briefs are those?" She smiles, slowly. "Not that I don't like them..." Tenchi groans. "Come on, sweetie, we better get back into the house before someone sees us." He carries her back into the living room, to see Sasami in her carrot pajamas, looking at them mischievously. "You two were naughty!" she says in an accusatory tone, masking the playful aura around her. Tenchi shakes his head quickly. "No, Sasami-cha'ya, we weren't naughty." "Yes, you were! You're naughty, you're naughty!" she chides, doing a little jig around the center of the living room. The door to the storage unit flips open and Nobuyuki and Washu step out. "Hey," says Nobuyuki, "why did I wake up in here?" "I don't know!" shoots back Washu. "What am I doing in Kiyone's underwear?!" She gestures down at the sports bra and bikini panties with the little bow on the waistband. Nobuyuki, in a pair of boxers --which look strangely familiar-- looks at Tenchi and his eyes go wide. "Tenchi! What are you doing in my underwear?!" Tenchi's jaw drops open. "Your underwear?!" Kiyone looks ill. "Tenchi, why are you wearing your father's underwear?" "Why are you wearing my underwear?!" cries out Washu. Tenchi and Kiyone look at each other, scream, and run up the stairs to his room. A few minutes later, they come out, wrapped in kimonos. They deposit the borrowed undergarments in front of their owners, and walk to the bath. Sasami looks patently ill. "Uhhh... I'm not feeling well..." Washu looks up at Nobuyuki with a wry expression on her face. "Was it good for you too?" "That's not funny, Washu," responds Nobuyuki. * * * In the bath, Tenchi and Kiyone are taking turns washing each other's backs, taking time out to thoroughly clean certain regions of each other's bodies. They are so caught up in this and so caught up in making sure that they don't go too far, that they don't notice a fat, eye-patched Ohki sitting in a floating bleacher, cackling as he snaps off roll after roll of Polaroids. "I'm going to be rich, I'm going to be rich!" he chortles. Tenchi is kissing around Kiyone's navel and is about to work downward, when the door opens and Kyoto and Ryoko, wrapped in robes step in. They stop in their tracks and stare wide-eyed at the future emperor and empress of Jurai. "Tenchi, Kiyone, what do you think you're doing?!" screams Ryoko. "He's washing me," moans Kiyone. Kyoto's jaw is under the water. "Um, Kiyone, the soap is over there, its not soap he's washing you with, it's his tongue." Kiyone nods. "I know, I like it better that way." Ryoko rolls her eyes and hangs her head. "Don't you two remember what the goddesses said, you two can't have sex because you'll have babies!" "Is that a bad thing?" whimpers Kiyone. "Technically, no. But when it's under the scrutiny of the public eye and you two aren't married yet, yes." "We're already married," murmurs Tenchi, reluctantly removing his tongue from Kiyone's belly button. "Yes, but this wedding has not be recognized by the Jurai royal council or by the Galaxy Federation, has it?" counters Kyoto. "Now, everyone would expect you two to have sex, yes, but a baby? That's a little, um... not expected. Besides--" He jerks a thumb at the door. "--we were going to take a bath, so..." He raises his eyebrows. "If you two would please..." Grumbling, Tenchi picks Kiyone up and carries her out of the pool. The two don their robes, grab their towels and walk out of the room. Once they're gone, Kyoto and Ryoko look at each other hungrily, tear off each other's robes and fall under the water. No one notices the fat Ohki bouncing out right behind Tenchi and Kiyone. * * * At the breakfast table, Sasami notes with disappointment that Tenchi and Kiyone aren't eating much. "Mommy, Daddy, what's wrong with breakfast? It's good, isn't it? I made it especially for you." "It's wonderful, Sami-cha'ya," consoles Tenchi, "we're just not hungry this morning after what happened right after we woke up." Sasami grins. "Oh, the naughty thing..." Tenchi rolls his eyes. "Sami-cha'ya, please, nothing naughty happened, just something sick happened." "I'll say!" puts in Nobuyuki. "Tenchi, I don't ever want to see you in my underwear again!" "That's right!" agrees Washu. "And Kiyone, stay out of my panties!" Sasami's face has gone almost the color of her forehead marking. "Uh..." She quietly excuses herself from the table. "Dad! People are trying to eat!" yells Tenchi. "Besides, I woke up wearing those. Someone must have switched ours on me last night!" Nobuyuki starts to respond when they smell something obnoxious coming from the porch. The group slowly rises, wanders over, edges open the door, and see Chi-Ohki with a giant platter of baked beans and Spam, with a giant carrot in the middle. And they realize immediately what the smell was. He looks up. "Oh, good. You guys want some?" "Chi-Ohki, what in the hell are you eating?!" yells Tenchi. "Beans and Spam," responds the Ohki cheerily. Kyoto rolls his eyes and groans. "Chi-Ohki, you promised not to eat that anymore..." "Yeah, well that was after we finally got some money!" "We're not poor now!" puts in Kyoto. "Yeah, but I'm a little sick of straight carrots right now, and I need something to spice them up a little bit. And nothing spices things up like good ol' beans and Spam." He picks up a brown bottle. "And nothing like good ol' whiskey." He takes a big swig. "Ah... Now, the only thing left to complete this experience is--" He digs a large Havana cigar out of the inside of his wide-brimmed hat and produces an equally large lighter. He is about to light the cigar when Tenchi snatches his lighter away. "Oh, no you don't!" Chi-okhi looks at him weird. "What? It's not that flammable!" He snatches the lighter back. "Now, go away son, you're bothering me." Tenchi's eyes are wide with fear and he literally pushes everyone else back into the house and slams the door shut a second before Chi-Ohki lights the lighter. He flicks the wheel, the flame comes into existence... and there is a small explosion on the porch. After waiting for the smoke to clear, they push the door back open. Sitting on the porch is Chi-Ohki, looking cooked, Cajun-style--that is, blackened. He's wobbling slightly on his hind paws. "Ohh... it hurts." Tenchi slams the door shut and grabs Kiyone's hand. "Um, Kiyone and I gotta go now, bye!" Grabbing their school bags, they rush out the door. They just step out the door when the TV cable box starts blinking on and off. Washu looks over. "Hmm, that's odd-- Oh, I see! The TV's acting in phone mode!" She picks up the remote, points it at the TV and hits the phone key. Immediately the face of a Juraian official appears on the screen. "Oh, hello. What can I do for you?" "Err, um, good morning. Is Lord Tenchi there?" "Sure, I'll go get them!" Washu rushes out of the house. "Tenchi, Tenchi! Kiyone, Kiyone! Jurai's calling!" Tenchi has a pained expression on his face. "Uh, how important is it, Washu, I mean we have to get to school, the bus will be down there in a few minutes!" "Hmm, let me check." Washu produces a hololaptop, taps in a sequence, and the official's face appears on it. "Ah, good, Lord Tenchi, there you are. Um, we need you on Jurai today. " "At what time today?" asks Tenchi. "At about one P.M. The Council will convene at eight tomorrow morning." Tenchi's eyes go wide. "One P.M!! Uh.. ah, I'm sorry, but I have to go to school today!" The official has a surprised expression on his face. "Ah, um, I'm sorry Lord Tenchi, um, there must be something wrong with this transmission, I could have sworn you said that you had to go to school today." "Um, I did," says Tenchi slowly. "Um...um...okay...um...well, Lord Tenchi, isn't there anyway...um...you could...um...skip classes today? Actually, it would have to be for the rest of the week, but is there anyway you could find to skip those?" Tenchi's brow furrows. "Um...yeah, yeah, I'll find a way out of it, but how am I going to get there?" "Galaxy Police Detective First Class Mitsuki is due to arrive in the Sol system within the hour," explains the official, "she will escort you to the boundaries of the Sol system where we'll have a task force of warships waiting for you." "A task force, isn't that a bit much?" asks Tenchi slowly. "And by the way, why has the Council meeting been pushed up to today?" "Not to protect the emperor, or prospective emperor," responds the official firmly. "They'll be waiting there at 10:30 a.m., local solar time. And as for the accelerated schedule, I don't know. All I can do is give my apologies for this." The official bows once again. "I look forward to meeting you in person, Lord Tenchi." The official's image fades from the screen and Tenchi sighs. "Oh great, now how are we going to handle school?" "Don't worry," puts in Kyoto, who has just walked up the path behind them, "I'll handle it." He concentrates for a moment and then splits into two Kyotos, and then the two Kyotos change into a Tenchi and Kiyone, the spitting image of the real Tenchi and Kiyone. "See," says the Tenchi/Kyoto in Tenchi's voice, "we'll go to school in your place, they'll never be able to tell the difference." "That's right," echoes the Kiyone/Kyoto, snuggling into the Tenchi/Kyoto's embrace. "Come on, Tenchi-yon, give your little girl a kiss, please daddy, give your little girl a kiss..." "Wow!" says Washu, "Tenchi, Kiyone, they are exactly like you!" "Aren't they a little too affectionate?" observes Kiyone. The Tenchi/Kyoto has both his hands up the Kiyone/Kyoto's skirt and is fondling her buttocks and the Kiyone/Kyoto is moaning loudly in pleasure. "Actually... it's a perfect duplicate of you two," says Washu dryly. "You two are exactly like that." "We're not that bad!" protests Tenchi. "I have proof of the otherwise," grins Washu. "This!" She pulls up a video and the screen is lit up with Tenchi and Kiyone copulating in a rather exotic position. Kiyone's cheeks flush red with embarrassment and desire, and she shakes her head viciously, as if that will drive her desires away. "Washu, turn that off!" "Alright." Washu turns it off. Tenchi looks at the two Kyotos who are now advancing along their path. "And Kyoto, turn yourself off." "Alright." The Tenchi/Kyoto and Kiyone/Kyoto immediately separate. "There is a point that I will not go to and that is myself," says the Tenchi/Kyoto. "Ditto," agrees the Kiyone/Kyoto. "So, if you'll just give us your bags," The two Kyoto's snatch Tenchi and Kiyone's school bags, "we'll be off. Have a good time on Jurai --oh, Kiyone, you'll probably want to take this opportunity to take your papers into Prime Center yourself, you know?" "Good idea," agrees Kiyone. She looks at Tenchi. "Maybe we can spend a couple of days on Prime Center, I'll show you around." Tenchi smiles. "That sounds like fun." Washu rolls her eyes. "Just make sure that you two don't do anything, okay? ‘Cause even I couldn’t reverse the effects of that." And suddenly, they smell something very foul in the air and Chi-okhi pops up, holding open a large can of baked beans with chunks of carrots and Spam floating in it. "Hey, want some beans and Spam?" The three humans scream and run back to the house. * * * Meanwhile, Sasami has just finished cleaning her mouth off and giving herself a drink of water, when she sees Ryo-Ohki, looking somewhat green, slump through the door, crawl over to the toilet and do something that she has never seen an Ohki do: puke. "Ryo-ohki!" she gasps. "Are you all right?" She picks the now purged Ohki up and moves her over to the sink. The cool water helps the cabbit revive, and she looks up weakly and gives an equally weak mi-ya. Sasami blinks. "Chi-ohki did what?!" "Mi-ya! Mi-ya, mi-ya!" "Beans and Spam?" Sasami looks ill again, and she leans back over the toilet. *** "...and that’s it," declares Tenchi/Kyoto, scribbling in the last equation with a flourish. Mr. Fujisawa had asked him to solve an equation using the quadratic formula. Instead, he had solved the problem to fourteen decimal points and written the solution in a standard Science Academy symbolic pattern. Unfortunately, the pattern is written in Kotamian (thanks and apologies to Sir Ewen Cluney), leaving all but the number indiscernible to the rest of the class, who, except the Kiyone/Kyoto, are staring at him wide eyed, their jaws open. Finally, Fujisawa manages to speak. "Mr. Masaki... that's.... that's very impressive, just one thing, why didn't you use the quadratic formula?!" "Why bother with the quadratic formula, when there's Muyako's Equilibrium Principle of X?" responds Tenchi/Kyoto. Fujisawa takes a few minutes to real his jaw back into place, clamps it shut, and then sits down heavily in his chair. "Alright... uh... everyone, you're excused for the rest of the day. Just tell all your teachers that you're excused for the rest of the day." "Why, Mr. Fujisawa?" asks Tenchi/Kyoto. "I need to go back to school --we all need to go back to school. Now, go on." He gestures at the door. Cheering, all the students file out. As they do, they're carrying Tenchi/Kyoto on their shoulders and chanting, "Tenchi! Tenchi!" Finally, they drop him off at the end of the hall and Kiyone/Kyoto rushes up to him. "Oh, my Tenchi!" she coos, "you're so smart!" "And you're so perfect," he tells her, gathering her up in his arms and giving her a big kiss. *** Meanwhile, back at the Masaki house, in the lake, a spaceship is landing. It is a Yukinojo-class light patrol ship, somewhat like the small patrol shuttle that Mihoshi had been chasing Ryoko with when the entire thing had started (see also, Mihoshi's ship from the OVAs). It sets down in the lake, and a moment later a young, redheaded lady appears on the doorstep of the Masaki house, dressed in a GP uniform. She knocks on the door. The door slides open and.... it's Mihoshi, dressed in khakis and a cotton candy pink sweater --her normal casual outfit. "Mitsuki, there you are!" She hugs Mitsuki very tightly, almost cutting off circulation. "Mi-ho-shi..." manages Mitsuki. "I...can't...breathe!" "Oops, sorry!" Mihoshi abruptly lets go and Mitsuki almost tumbles to the ground. "Anyway, I'm so glad to see you, you're my new partner!" Mitsuki forces a smile--inwardly she is thinking, Oh my god, I am screwed-I am screwed-I am screwed! "Err, really? You're my partner, Mihoshi?" Mihoshi nods. "Uh huh, I'm going to be your new partner!" "But, what about Kiyone? Isn't she your partner?" Mihoshi shakes her head. "Not anymore, she's going to be resigning from the Galaxy Police." "Why is she resigning from the Galaxy Police?" "She's getting married!" The next thing Mitsuki feels is Mihoshi gently slapping her face. "Mitsuki, wake up, Mitsuki, you passed out!" "I'm sorry, Mihoshi," she murmurs, "I thought you said that Kiyone was getting married?" Mihoshi nods. "Uh, huh, she is--Mitsuki! Wake up, Mitsuki!" "Did you just say 'Kiyone's getting married', Mihoshi?" "Uh huh." "Who's she marrying?" "Tenchi Masaki. He's going to be the new emperor of Jurai and she's going to be his new empre--Mitsuki, Mitsuki! This is getting annoying, Mitsuki!" Suddenly, Mitsuki feels water being splashed in her face. "Ugh! Okay, I'm up, I'm up! So, Kiyone's going to be the new empress of Jurai?!" Mihoshi nods happily. "Uh, huh. Isn't that great?" Mitsuki has a doomed expression on her face. Oh, god, I'm a dead woman, I am so dead. As if meant to unsettle her even further, they hear what sounds like giggling come from upstairs, giggling and low moaning. The voice is female and almost certainly Kiyone's. A young man's voice responds a moment later in loving tones. And so goes the unseen conversation, sounding like two people commenting on an especially good meal. Later on, Mitsuki would even swear that she heard the word "Daddy" murmured. Mitsuki looks ill. "Mihoshi, Mihoshi, where's the bathroom? Where's the bathroom?" Mihoshi points in the direction. "Thank you!" Mitsuki rushes to it, pushes the door open, and quickly realizes that it was not the bathroom she was expecting. "Mihoshi, where's the regular bathroom?" "Oh, you need a guy to get to that one," explains Mihoshi. Groaning, Mitsuki rushes into the kitchen and over to the sink. Mihoshi watches her lose her breakfast and clean herself up. "Wow, Mitsuki, I didn't know you were bulimic!" Mitsuki groans and heaves herself upright. "What are they doing up there?" "It sounds like they're eating snacks," comments Mihoshi. "Funny, though, Kiyone's never been that enthusiastic about food before." They hear a door sliding open, upstairs, and a moment later, Tenchi and Kiyone, clad in matching his and hers bathrobes and carrying neatly folded clothing, come down the stairs, looking extremely satisfied. Tenchi is carrying Kiyone in his arms like a bride across the threshold. Kiyone is giggling like a school-girl and peppering his face with kisses. Mitsuki moans and hangs her head. Tenchi smiles as his feet hit the ground floor. "Oh, you must be the Detective Sergeant that they sent out to escort us. Welcome to Earth." Mitsuki quickly recovers her composure. "Uh, thank you, Lord Tenchi, but I'm only a Detective First Class." "I'll see what I can do about that," he promises. "I believe you already know my fiancée, Kiyone Makibi." Mitsuki nods her head. "Congratulations, Kiyone, I always knew you'd find the perfect man." "Don't worry, Mitsuki, I'm sure there'll be a guy out there for you too," comforts Kiyone. Just then Sasami, dressed in a princess's formal wear and looking as adorable as ever, bounces down the stairs, with a Levi backpack slung over one shoulder. "Hi everyone, I'm ready to go!" Tenchi sets Kiyone down and picks Sasami up in his arms and hugs her tightly. "I'm sure you are, Sami-cha'ya, but your mommy and I still need to take a bath and get dressed." "Yeah, because you two were naughty!" The little princess laughs as Tenchi sets her down, and then turns to Mitsuki. "Oh, hi, Mitsuki!! Are you Mihoshi's new partner?" All Mitsuki can do is nod, wearily. She watches Tenchi carrying Kiyone into the bathroom and sliding the door shut. She thinks, How did Kiyone get that lucky? She's going to be the empress of Jurai now, she's marrying the galaxy's most eligible bachelor, she's adopting a little girl, AND I'M STILL A DETECTIVE FIRST CLASS AND STILL SINGLE!! She shakes her head and sighs. Tenchi and Kiyone spend ninety minutes in the bathroom, during which Sasami makes quite a lot of naughty jokes. Finally they emerge, cleaned and dressed, and looking very happy. Tenchi's wearing his formal Juraian royal court outfit, and Kiyone is clad in a long, lavender kimono, with her hair tied back into a ponytail and swept over one shoulder. It is held together by a bright red ribbon. "Wow!! You look great, mommy!" cries out Sasami happily. "You look just like an empress!" "Oh, wow!! You look like you've been touched by a goddess!" comments Mihoshi. Mitsuki is speechless. Finally, words come to her mind. "Well, we better get going. Are all of you packed?" Tenchi nods and jerks his head in the direction of the Guardians, who are toting several suitcases. He suddenly remembers something. "Oh, wait, the Knights!" He rushes back up the stairs and opens the door to their room, to find both knights kneeling in front of the TV, controllers gripped in their hands. Their eyes are strained and bloodshot, and large, purple bags are under their eyes. Kamidake's right cheek is twitching uncontrollably. Tenchi rests a tentative hand on Azaka's shoulder, causing the knight to leap five meters in the air. He spins around, a battle-ready expression on his face. Once he sees that it is Tenchi, he relaxes. "Oh, Lord Tenchi, what is it?" "The Supreme Council is convening on Jurai. The meeting isn't till six tonight, but they want us there right away." A worried expression drapes across Azaka's face. "Now? It wasn't supposed to be for another two weeks!" "I know, but something must have come up." Tenchi eyes the two knights concernedly. "You guys feeling up to going?" Kamidake nods, hoisting himself to his feet with the help of his fighting staff. "Yes, Lord Tenchi, I--" He almost falls over before catching himself, and he starts using his staff as a crutch. "We're fine." "Okay," says Tenchi slowly. "Do you need to pack anything?" The two knights shake their heads, and he nods in satisfaction. "Right, let's go." Soon Mitsuki's ship, the Yokinja, rises from the lake with a full load of passengers and cargo. Mitsuki takes a quick look around the cabin as she prepares to kick in the main sublight drive. Tenchi and Kiyone are sitting in the back, hugging Sasami between them. The young girl seems quite content with this. The two knights have controller pads hooked up to the holoscreens on the consoles in front of them and have called up some video game or another. The two Guardians are resting in the very back of the main cabin, their receptor "eyes" dark (they've gone into "sleep" mode). Mihoshi, beside her at the copilot's station, is snoring gently. Shrugging, Mitsuki flips on the sublight engines and advances the throttle. The small ship surges forward, travelling at .75c towards Pluto. As she locks the Yokinja onto autopilot, she looks back at Tenchi. Sasami is sound asleep and he's looking fondly at her. Kiyone is also asleep, now snuggled up on his other side. At first glance, he had seemed a friendly enough boy, with maturity far outstripping that of his peers, but still only a boy. Now, however, while barely eighteen, he carries the maturity and calmness of a man twice his age. He's only eighteen, not even out of high school, and he's on his way to becoming the ruler of the universe. He'll have a wife and little girl to take care of, and he won't even be twenty. Even more shocking, I think he'll be ready for it. What was I thinking about when I was his age? The Yokinja makes transit in record time, arriving in Plutonian orbit just in time to see the Juraian ships emerge from wormholes. Tenchi is staring wide-eyed at the number of warships. "Oh my god! How many ships are there?" Mitsuki checks Yukinja's scanners. "Looks like...forty-five heavy cruisers..." Tenchi looks taken aback. "What?! Isn't that a bit much?" "Hey, it's Jurai," shrugs Mitsuki. "They can afford to do things like this. Anyway, that's forty-five heavy cruisers, ten battleships, and five dreadnaughts. And we're receiving a signal from that dreadnaught over there...says it's the Yosho. Must be the flagship." She punches in the clear-code, and the face of a Juraian admiral appears on a holoscreen. "Greetings, Lord Tenchi. We await your arrival. We're engaging tractor beams now." The admiral's face disappears from the screen, and Yokinja jolts slightly as it is drawn toward's the dreadnaught's docking bay. "Wow... I haven't seen this many ships in a long time!" Kiyone looks amazed. Soon, Mitsuki's ship is resting in the pressurized hanger bay. The hatch slides open and the ramp rolls down. At the bottom of the ramp is a long, plush red carpet, with a line of beauracrats and military officers lining each side. At the sight of Tenchi, the drop to one knee and bow their heads. Looking somewhat uncomfortable, Tenchi walks down the long carpet, followed by the rest of the group. At the end of the carpet are two identical magenta-haired girls, clad in white kimonos with gold embroidering. Each one is holding a crown in their hands. Once Tenchi reaches the end of the carpet, the left girl places the larger, more ornate crown atop his head and then assumes a following position on his left side. As Kiyone approaches, the remaining girl places the smaller crown atop her head and assumes a following position on her right. As one, the bowing assembly rises to their feet and gives another bow from the waist. They then disperse, save for a man of average height, with dark blue, almost black hair that is starting to recede. Tenchi immediately recognizes him as the official that he spoke to that morning. "Greetings, Lord Tenchi. I have been waiting for the moment to met you in person." Tenchi blushes a little and shifts his weight. "Uh... thanks. I don't believe I caught your name?" "I am Hikita, of the Diplomatic Corps. I have been assigned to oversee your journey to Jurai." He looks curiously at Kiyone. "Um... my lady, I'm afraid that the council failed to brief me as to your name and what branch family you belong to." "That's alright," says Kiyone. "My name is Kiyone Makibi, of the house Makibi of Megami." The official almost doubles over backward. "Megami?!" He turns to Tenchi. "Lord Tenchi, she's joking, right?" "She's quite serious. Is there a problem?" Tenchi's voice now contains a note of ice. "No-no-no-no. It's just that... well, you know that Megami and Jurai haven't been the best of friends." Tenchi smiles. "Well, maybe if she becomes empress, relations will become less strained. Besides, we love each other, and I don't want to marry anyone else. And finally, as Emperor I have the right to choose my own Empress, correct?" "Quite so, it's just that..." The official looks somewhat abashed. "The assumption was that you were going to marry Ayeka." Tenchi looks almost appalled. "I'm sorry, but no." To their surprise, the official smiles. "Well, none of us blame you for that, Lord Tenchi." "Are you just going to ignore me, Uncle Hikita? Or am I not your favorite niece anymore?" Hikita catches himself, turns around and gives Sasami a bear hug. "Hello, my Sami-kai'ya*, no I'm not ignoring you, I just didn't see you there with Lord Tenchi." He smiles down at her. "Are you going to become the second empress?" "No, silly! Tenchi's my new daddy!" Hikita's face faults. "Your...new...daddy?" Hikita turns to Tenchi, a startled expression on his face. "Is she telling the truth?" Tenchi nods. "Yup, we decided to make her our first daughter. As soon as we're married, there'll be a second little one on the way." "Ah, I see." Hikita nods and gestures down the corridor. "Now, if you'll follow me." * * * Mihoshi and Mitsuki watch the last of the Juraian ships vanish into the wormholes. "Oh, wow! I didn't know that Jurai ships could use wormholes." Mitsuki nods. "Rumor has it that their engines can generate artificial wormholes. That can take them to any place in the galaxy just like that." She snaps her fingers. "Oh, wow! That's amazing! I wonder who invented it?" "It was developed by some crack-pot scientist just before the Megami-Jurai war. His name was Hojo Wantanabe, a genius, but a total schizoid. I heard that he started the war by selling Juraian weapons technology to Megami." Mihoshi's eyes go wide. "We both come from Megami, so how come I haven't heard any of this?" "Probably because the emperor had it covered up, like the thousands of sex scandals that happen in the Forbidden City." Mihoshi suddenly looks very interested. "Oh, have there been any new ones?" Mitsuki smiles and nods. "There's a brand new one. Apparently, the emperor slept with one of his interns." The blonde detective suddenly gets a look of recognition on her face. "Oh-oh-oh! Wasn't that the one named Monica Lowinsky?" Mitsuki is about to say yes when Yokinja is sent spinning on it's axis. Alarms are blaring and Mitsuki curses as she paws her way back into her chair. "What the hell was that?!" "Hey boss? What the f--k are you doin'?! Youy just buzzed a f--kin' GP ship!" The pilot ignores the mildly hispanic voice. "Continue on course, we have a job to do." "What was that?" asks Mihoshi, scrabbling her way back into her chair. Mitsuki is checking the scanner. "I don't know, but whatever it was, it's gone now." She stretches and yawns. "So, Mihoshi, where do we stay on Earth?" "At the Masaki house," answers Mihoshi, locking the acceleration restraints into place. While inertial compensators will normally keep the ship's internal gravity from fluctuating like it just did, she's not taking any more chances. Mitsuki toolks rather surprised. "They don't mind?" Mihoshi shakes her head. "No! In fact, Mr. Masaki likes having all of us stay there! He says it's good for Tenchi." Mitsuki smirks. She met Tenchi's father once before, and she could sense just why he liked having so many girls around the house. "I'm sure." Tenchi is looking with childlike awe at the large collection of ships orbiting Jurai. The sight is as impressive as is the turquoise- and amethyst-splashed sphere, flanked by a pair of intersecting rings, that is at the center of the mustering. "Wow," he murmurs. "There must be a thousand ships!" "Probably," agrees Hikita. "The representatives of the major branch families, as well as the rulers of the most important worlds in the Republic, are all coming for the Supreme Council meeting." Tenchi looks a little green. "All of them. Hikita, exactly how many people are on the Supreme Council?" Hikita takes a moment to think. "Well...around a thousand." At Tenchi's look of fear, he quickly adds, "But don't worry, Lord Tenchi. On a normal basis, you'll only have to deal with the Council's Executive Committee. There are only twenty-five people on that." Tenchi releases a sigh of relief. "I just have another couple of questions, Hikita." "Ask away, Lord Tenchi." "Well, first the small one. I noticed that we used a wormhole to get here..." Hikita smiles proudly. "Yes. That, Lord Tenchi, is the heart of Jurai's naval superiority in the galaxy. Our ships can generate wormholes, allowing us to transit almost instantaneously from one point to another. This, coupled with the firepower our ships mount, is almost unbeatable." Tenchi's eyes have widened slightly. "Wow..." "I'm sure the captain would be happy to give you a tour, Lord Tenchi." "Ah, thanks, perhaps later." He looks around the plush quarters that he, Kiyone, and Sasami have been given. Sasami has gone back to her nap and Kiyone is doing likewise. "Second thing, what's the rush? You said the meeting's not until tomorrow, and we can get here instantly, so why the rush?" "Well, we got you here early so you could relax and unwind, get a little used to the Palace. And as for why the meeting has been pushed up...it has to do with Det--er, I mean, Lady Kiyone's homeworld." Tenchi fixes him with a mild stare. "Go on." "Well..." At least Hikita has the good grace to look a little embarrassed. "Fifty-five hundred years ago, Megami and Jurai were at war with each other. The war was long and bloody and ended in a stalemate. Since then we've been at peace, but relations still aren't the best. In fact, the war was largely responsible for the creation of the GF and Prime Center." "I understand that, but what does that have to do with the Council meeting being moved up?" "Well, after the peace treaty was initially signed, it was agreed that the treaty would be renewed every five centuries, and be signed by each nation's emperor. It was also agreed that if one nation did not have a ruler at the time of the signing, that nation would be incorporated into the other's empire." Tenchi looks a little disgusted. "Why in hell did we agree to that?" "It seemed like a good idea at the time," admits Hikita. "After all, none of us were expecting the upheaval of the past century. No one was expecting your great-grandfather Kaichi to effectively kill himself to imprison Kain, or your grandfather to disappear for a hundred years, or Ayeka and Sasami's parents to get themselves killed during that terrorist bombing on Freeport Center, or Kagato to take Yosho's place and make a successful coup. Both Jurai and Megami were trying to prevent another war, and this seemed like a good incentive." Tenchi holds up his hands. "All right, I think I see now. So when do I sign this thing?" "Day after tomorrow." "Okay...and if they don't let me in as Emperor?" "If they don't want you, they'll put you on the throne just long enough to sign the papers, and then they'll give you your own little star system as a consolation prize. But don't worry, Lord Tenchi." Hikita smiles the smile that people who are higher up than they let on tend to. "You're the only real contender for the throne, and your timing is perfect. In all honesty, the Council is running scared. Whatever you ask, they're almost certain to give you." "Well, that's a relief," says Tenchi dryly. "When do we, ah, land?" "Soon," assures Hikita. "We'll be taking a shuttle down. Perhaps we should awaken the ladies now?" Tenchi nods. "Yeah, you're probably right." He looks around the room. "Where did you say Azaka and Kamidake were again?" "Well, the Guardians are in sleep mode in the other room. The knights..." Hikita shrugs. "The younger knights are flocking around them like birds to seed. Last I saw, they were actually signing autographs!" Tenchi laughs. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me." Stretching and yawning, he rises from the plush, super-comfortable recliner where he has been sitting. Hikita rises from a similar chair. "Let's go." He shakes his head, as if trying to clear something away. "Funny, though. I can't shake this feeling that we've forgotten something..." * * * * * * * * * * * Back in the Masaki house on Earth, Katsuhito, Murasaki, Muriyaki, and Washu are watching GNN. The young anchor is reading off a special bulletin. "And this just in. The semi-annual convening of the Republic of Jurai's Supreme Council has been pushed up from two weeks in the future to today. The probable reason for this is to have an emperor in time for the signing of the Jurai-Megami Peace Treaty. This treaty is renewed every five centuries and--" Katsuhito clicks the remote and a menu bar appears. He hesitates for a moment before hitting on the SPACE CRIME bar. The picture on-screen immediately changes to the newsroom, same anchor. "In other news, Amarube and Yura, the self-proclaimed 'delinquent duo of space,' were arrested today while attempting to hijack a Galaxy Police patro--" Washu grabs the remote, ups the volume, and starts laughing. "That's them! They're the ones that hijacked Yagami that one time!" "When was this?" asks Katsuhito. "I don't remember that happening." "I'm not surprised," retorts Washu. "You and Nobuyuki were playing chess the whole time!" Anything the old prince of Jurai might have said becomes academic, for a loud noise chooses that moment to make itself heard. The four TV-watchers rush out of the house to find a GP light patrol ship crashed nose-first in the lake. It seems to be mostly undamaged. Standing on the shore, in waterlogged uniforms, are Mihoshi and Mitsuki. The two of them are crying their eyes out and clinging to each other. "What happened here?"asks Katsuhito. "T-th-the ship just went out of control," sputters Mitsuki. "It j-ju-just crashed." She lapses into sobs again. "My poor, poor Yokinja!" Washu looks up at the ship. "Hmm. A Yukinojo-class light patrol ship. These were being phased out when I was at the Academy." She produces a hololaptop and taps a string of characters into it. The Yokinja blows up. Mitsuki screams and passes out. Washu has a sheepish expression on her face. "Heh heh heh...sorry." Murasaki smiles. "Here, allow me." She closes her eyes, stretches out her arms, and points them at the lake. Translucent coils of green-white energy seem to stream forth from her hands and envelop the wreckage of the spacecraft. The shattered hull and its pieces rise out of the lake and literally knit themselves back together in midair. Soon the Yokinja is hanging sedately in midair, looking as if she were fresh from the shipyards. Mihoshi is staring up in amazement. "Wow, Murasaki, that's so cool! It's like you're a goddess or something!" Washu and Murasaki groan, Katsuhito maintains his straight face (does the man have any other expressions?!), and Murasaki smiles. "Why, dear Mihoshi, don't you remember? I am a goddess." "Oh, yeah!" Mihoshi has a look of understanding on her face as she helps Mitsuki to her feet. "Wake up, Mitsuki! Look! The goddess Murasaki fixed your ship!" Mitsuki, still somewhat groggy, looks over at the woman in the simple but stately robes, who is smiling gently at her. Mihoshi's words finally sink in, and she gapes at the woman--who does indeed remind her of a goddess. "Are you...are you really a goddess?" Murasaki nods. "Yes, I am, Mitsuki Koyashibara. And I am not the only one. I have two sisters, also goddesses." "Really?" asks Mitsuki, now captivated. "Where are they?" As if on cue (the writer's cue, anyway), two columns of light appear next to Murasaki. Out step Tsunami and Tokimi, fresh from their trip to Tokyo. Mitsuki faints again. Mihoshi looks tired. "Oh, my! I wish she'd stop doing that!" Katsuhito steps over. "If you'll get her arms, I'll get her feet. We can put her on the couch." He nods at the two new arrivals. "Welcome back. Have fun in Tokyo?" Tsunami nods enthusiastically. "Oh, yes! And look what we brought!" She holds up several large shopping bags full of souvenirs, and Tokimi does likewise. "We brought gifts!" The group makes their way into the house and set Mitsuki on the couch, and then the goddesses start handing out the gifts. Mihoshi is delighted to recieve a bagful of Tokyo Tower paraphernalia. "Oh, wow!" She holds up a postcard. "It's a picture from their cool observation deck!" Katsuhito is looking with confusion at the Tenchiken-lookalike in his hand. "So this is just a remote control for the TV?" Tsunami nods. "That's right, Yosho." She smiles wryly. "Try if you like, but I don't think you'll get a light blade from it." She pulls a plush Totoro doll from another bag. "Is Sasami here? I remember watching this movie with her and her saying that she wanted one of these." She hugs the doll. "It's so cute." "She's gone," answers Katsuhito. "She, Tenchi, and Kiyone were picked up by a Jurai task force this morning. They moved the Council meeting up." Tsunami looks up in alarm, sudden realization showing through on her face. "What?" She slumps, groaning. "Oh, no. The treaty. I'd forgotten about that. Did Ayeka go with them." Katsuhito shakes his head. "No. Why w--" A rare look of shock surface on his countanence. "Oh, no. I forgot. She has to represent her branch family, or--" "Or Sasami will have to do it," finishes Tokimi, looking grim. "And she's way too young to. She's not at all prepared." "Prepared for what?" Everyone turns to see Ayeka walikng down the stairs, a confused expression on her face. "Where is Sasami?" "Ayeka," says Katsuhito, "the Council meeting got moved up. It's tomorrow and Tenchi, Kiyone, and Sasami left for Jurai just this morning." The confusion on the elder princess' face gives way to fear. "What?! B-b-but I have to represent our branch family! Otherwise little Sasami will have to, and--" "Exactly," finishes Katsuhito firmly. He looks at Tsunami. "Lady Tsunami, is there any way you could transport us to Jurai?" Tsunami shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Yosho. We don't have the power for long-range teleportation anymore, not across millions of light-years." "We could take Yagami," voulnteers Mihoshi. "Thank you, Mihoshi, but the Council meeting is at eight A.M. tomorrow. The Yagami would not make it there in time." Katsuhito sighs. "It appears that we can do nothing." "Wait," says Murasaki slowly, rising from her chair. She looks at Katsuhito with desperation in her eyes. "Where is your tree?" The old priest immediately grasps her meaning. "Wait. Lady Murasaki, I have tried many times and--" "Never underestimate a goddess, Yosho," she chides gently. A look is passed between her and the two other goddesses, and the dining room is suddenly replaced by a small grove of trees. They are standing in the center of it, around a tiny pond with an abnormally large tree with abnormally large roots. All around it in the tiny, shallow "pond" are walking stones. Ayeka looks up at the tree. "I knew it. It is Funaho." Mihoshi, as always, looks confused. "What's that?" "This is Yosho's tree-ship, the one he took with him when he left Jurai." She looks over at Katsuhito, who stares back mildly. "She cannot become a ship anymore," whispers the old man regretfully. "She has been rooted far too long." The goddesses aren't listening, however. They each have a hand resting on the trunk and they are chanting something in what sounds like Old High Juraian . As they chant the tree starts to glow and so do they. A coil-like ribbon of blue light rises around them and coils like a snake wrapping around its prey, eventually obscuring goddess and tree from sight. Finally the collected power blowtorches upward. As it does so, a shape starts to form in its path. The shape is that of a Juraian tree-ship like Ayeka's Ryu-oh but of a different design. The ship has four batlike wings arranged like a four-bladed propeller (or a plus sign) in the front with a dark gray "main hull" pod mounted behind them. (BTW, when I get my hands on the people that gave that ship such a stupid and hard-to-describe-in-words design...) Katsuhito looks up at his ship, fully alive again after so long. "Incredible." The light fades from around the tree's original resting place, and the goddesses are visible once more. "I told you to never doubt a goddess," chides Murasaki playfully. "Funaho, bring us up!" orders Katsuhito. The entire group suddenly finds themselves on the ship's bridge, which looks exactly like Ryu-oh's bridge. "Chairs," says Katsuhito. Immediately floating easy chairs pop up behind each of the people on the bridge and move forward slightly, nudging the people into them. Mihoshi giggles. "That's so cool! Grandpa, the ship does whatever you tell it to?" "Usually," agrees Katsuhito, patting the arm of the chair. "Funaho, take us up." A viewscreen appears and denotes the tree-ship's ascent through the atmosphere. He looks around. "Are we forgetting anyone?" Mihoshi cries out "Mitsuki!" at the same time that Washu says "Digital Washu!" Katsuhito nods. "Funaho, you heard the ladies. If you would be so kind..." The two prodigals appear in two new floating recliners in a sparkle of cerulean light. Mitsuki passes out again while Digital Washu looks around in approval. "Cool! I've never been on a ship of the Royal Family before!" "Thank you, Funaho," says Katsuhito. "Anything else we need to do?" "We might want to leave a note telling everyone else where we went," advises Ayeka. "I somehow don't think Mr. Masaki would just assume that we all went to Jurai." "Already on it," reports Murasaki, scribbling a letter on a pad of paper that wasn't there a moment before. She finishes with a flourish and taps the notepad, which disappears in flash of light. "There. It'll be waiting for him on the foyer table." "Good. Thank you, Murasaki." Katsuhito clears his throat. "Funaho, set course for Jurai. Initiate wormhole at your discretion." The trees on the bridge shoot out sparking tracers of rainbow light, bringing a slight smile to the old man's face. "Yes, I know. Just like the old days." Funaho surges forward into the wormhole and vanishes from the Sol system. In the place that the tree had occupied now stands an identical tree save for one feature: it is constructed entirely of a bright green crystal, almost like jade but glowing with its own inner power. If there is one thing that Tenchi has never been especially comfortable with, it is lots of fanfare. Naturally, that is exactly what he gets when his shuttle grounds. He recognizes the palace's landing pad from the near-fatal insertion he, Ryoko, Azaka, and Kamidake had made just prior to his duel with Kagato. The difference this time, aside from not being attacked by killer laser or missile satellites, is the large number of dignitaries awaiting his arrival. That, however, is not what bothers him so much. The thing that gets to him is the red carpet that precedes him, Kiyone, and Sasami everywhere they go. Well, that and everyone bowing when they come into sight. "How do I tell them to stop?" he hisses in Hikita's direction. The Diplomatic Corps official laughs. "Good luck, Lord Tenchi. They'll stop whenever you tell them to, but they'll always bow whenever you come into the room." Sighing, Tenchi looks around at the bowing officials. "Okay, okay, that's enough, you can stand up now." They all do so. Tenchi smiles as he recognizes a couple of friendly faces. "Sagami! Uncle Kenichi!" Laughing, he shakes the hands of the two nobles who had assisted in the escape from the checkpoint satellite. "What are you two doing here?" Kenichi, Ayeka and Sasami's uncle, smiles. "Well, Lord Tenchi, shouldn't the Lord Chancellor of the Supreme Council be present to greet his Emperor?" "Wow! Congratulations!" As Lord Chancellor, Kenichi will be in charge of the Council and second only to the Emperor and Empress. "Thank you. And Sagami here--" Kenichi pats the younger, brown-haired man on the shoulder. "--is being groomed to take my place when I retire, which won't be that far in the future." He looks down at Sasami, who cries out in delight and hugs her uncle. "Sasami-cha'ya, I'm glad to see you too." He then sees Kiyone and bows from the waist. "Lady Kiyone. Welcome to Jurai." Kiyone smiles and returns the bow. "Thank you, Lord Chancellor Kenichi. I'm a little surprised to see that I was expected." "Lord Hikita informed us when he met you. And besides, your mother is a friend of mine. Don't worry. The Council meeting is little more than a formality, so I think that it is safe to call you..." He bows his head again. "...Lady Empress Kiyone." Sagami and the rest of the Executive Committee (who are conveniently gathered in this reception hall) bow. Kenichi then turns to Tenchi. "And, Lord Emperor Tenchi." Again, the Executive Committee bows. Tenchi nods in return and bades them rise. He and Kiyone then go through the introductions. Fortunately there are only twenty-five Executive Committee members and the intros move swiftly. As each Councilor is introduced, they leave the room, apparently to attend to last-minute duties before the next day's meeting. The last person they meet is...Hikita. Tenchi looks surprised. "You're on the Executive Committee?" The official nods. "I'm head of the DipCorps, so naturally I'm on the Executive Committee." "I knew that!" says Sasami cheerfully. "So why didn't you say something?" asks Kiyone. "You never asked." Smiling in spite of himself, Tenchi sighs. "So, we have...how long till the meeting?" Hikita checks his watch. "About eighteen hours. You're welcome to go anywhere in the palace or even to venture out to the capital city--with guards, of course." "We will watch after them," states Azaka. He and Kamidake have been standing off to one side through the introductions. "All right then." Hikita bows a last time and follows his compatriots out the door. Tenchi stretches and yawns. Looking at his wife and daughter, he inquires, "Well, what do you two wanna do?" "Let's go into the city!" says Sasami excitedly. Is that all right with you, Kiyone-yoni? asks Tenchi. Yes, Tenchi-yon, it's all right. I'd like to see what Jurai's capital looks like, too. In the air, the planet hardly looks inhabited. Soon, the five of them are walking down a busy street in Jurai's capital city, Yachika. As Kiyone said, the planet looks almost deserted from the air or from orbit. It comes as little surprise to find that all of Jurai's cities--of which there are many, and all are large--are hidden underneath the endless carpet of green. Many of the buildings are built into the trunks of the large trees. In addition, there is a large area of greenery that will roll back to reveal a large, modern spaceport. Almost the first thing that Tenchi and Kiyone notice is the ubiquity of Guardians. Both in the palace and on the city streets, Guradians of all shapes, sizes, and colors are floating along on various errands. Some are short and squat with bassinets built in, and have stroller-style handlebars for the parents to push them along while the Guardian itself soothes or entertains the baby. Others are lugging groceries or shopping bags on shelves or antigrav platforms. Still others are floating vending machines (dispensing pop or beer cans that look like--you guessed it, miniature Guardians) or newspaper dispensers. One is crying out in a voice that sounds like Azaka (the Guardian): "Read all about it! Read all about it! Space pirates getting married!" Tenchi groans. "Great. Just great. At least the galaxy at large doesn't know where Earth is." Private, huh, Tenchi-yon? teases Kiyone. Sasami looks up at them from her place between her adoptive parents. "Cut that out!" "At least we just look like a normal noble family," soothes Kiyone. "Except for us," reminds Azaka. Fortunately for the Emperor and Empress, the sidewalk is so crowded, and their dress is so casual, that no one is paying attention to them. Even the presence of the two most famous knights ever to serve Jurai goes unnoticed. The next several hours are spent wandering the city, in and out of shops. Still they go unnoticed, and Tenchi is devoutly grateful. "This is probably my last day as a private citizen," he mutters. Soon they find themselves headed back in the direction of the palace, primarily because their anonimity seems to be wearing thin. One thing that Hikita had failed to warn Tenchi about was that he seemed to have developed a "pin-up" popularity--that is, girls would pin up posters of him on their walls and gaze longingly at him. This was a fact that Kiyone had also conveniently forgotten during her brief tour-of-duty at GP Headquarters. Consequently, once it started dawning on people just who that strikingly handsome young man walking with two knights, a young princess, and one of the most famous GPs in history was, they attract a following. The part that worries Tenchi is that the following is primarily made up of sixteen- to thirty-year-old women, each of them wearing a star-struck look in their eyes not unlike the ones that Kiyone usually directs at him. As they draw closer to the gateway to the palace, they actually are running. Finally they lurch through the gateway and Tenchi leans against a tree, his heart thudding like a piledriver. "Now...I know...what...celebrities...feel...like," he states between gasps. "No...kidding...Tenchi-yon," pants Kiyone. She recovers her breath first and moves over to support her husband. "You okay?" He nods and loops an arm around her shoulders. "Yeah. Thanks, Kiyone-yoni." Sasami is not winded at all. "That was fun!" She starts tugging on Tenchi's arm. "Let's do it again, Daddy!" "Maybe later, Sami-cha'ya," he moans. He then notices Azaka and Kamidake heading towards an almost-invisible path. "Hey, where are you guys going?" The two knights seem not to hear. They continue walking down the path. After a moment, Tenchi follows after them. Kiyone and Sasami are right behind. The path is long and winding. Finally they reach the end of it, and what they find makes them gasp. It is a grassy field filled with extremely lifelike statues made of a jade-colored crystal. Each of the statues bear a Juraian fighting staff identical to the ones that Azaka and Kamidake carry. They can see the two knights kneeling in front of certain statues. Kamidake is chanting a prayer in front of a statue of a female knight--apparently his lover or wife--while Azaka is kneeling between two statues, both young boys who bear a striking resemblance to him. The three stand at the edge of the field for a long moment, lacking words but not the discretion to stay silent. Finally, wiping tears from their eyes, the two old warriors rise and slowly make their way back to the waiting members of the Royal Family. Azaka inclines his head. "My apologies, Lord Tenchi, for not stopping to explain ourselves." Tenchi shakes his head. "No need for apologies. " He shivers slightly. "So...this is..." "Yes," answers Kamidake solemnly. "This is where all the knights of Jurai rest." Kiyone starts to speak several times. She finally pushes the words out. "I...I'm sorry to ask this, but...those statues, they look...almost..." "Lifelike?" complete Azaka dryly. "They are. When they...passed on, their body were encased in Juraianite, a liquid version of Jurai power which hardens into crystal. They were then mounted on those pedestals. One day, Kamidake and I will take our place among them." The other three are silent for a long moment. Finally, Tenchi mutters, "If you want, we can find our way back to the palace ourselves..." Kamidake shakes his head, wiping away another tear. "Thank you, Lord Tenchi. But we can only stand to be here ourselves for a few minutes." He casts a last look back at the woman's statue, then starts down the path. Azaka falls into step alongside him, and Tenchi leads the girls along. Soon they are climbing the steps onto the wooden balcony-like walkway that will take them into the palace proper. Tenchi looks like he has something to ask, but he doesn't know quite how to phrase it. Sasami notices this and inquires, "What is it, Daddy?" "I, uh...I was wondering...if that's where the knights are buried, then where are the emperor and empresses buried?" Sasami shrugs. "We don't know." Kiyone raises an eyebrow. "Sami-cha'ya, what do you mean you don't know where they're buried?" "Neither do we," agrees Azaka. "In fact, I don't recall there ever being a funeral for an emperor or empress, except when the death was quite obvious. After a millenia or two on the throne, they would just disappear." Kamidake nods in agreement. "It's very strange. There are lots of legends about what happens to them. Some say that they become one with their trees and continue to guide Jurai's destiny. Others say that they take on new identities and live out normal lives as nobles or as regular people." He manages a dry smile. "It is even said that Jurai secretly controls thousands of galaxies and that the old emperors and empresses live in those galaxies. If that's true, then maybe even Yosho, the very first Emperor, and Achiko, his Empress, are still alive out there!" Tenchi chuckles at that. "Well, if I ever find out, I'll be sure to tell you guys." He releases Kiyone's hand just long enough to look at his watch. "Hmm. It's almost five-thirty. What time is dinner?" "About eight-thirty," answers Sasami. She yawns loudly. "I'm tired, Daddy." Smiling, Tenchi kneels down and looks his adopted daughter in the eye. "What do you want, Sami-cha'ya?" Before he can react, Sasami has scurried around and climbed onto Tenchi's back. "Piggy-back ride!" she cries out happily. Kiyone bursts out in laughter. "Sami-cha'ya! You should ask your daddy first!" "It's all right, Kiyone-yoni," assures Tenchi. Groaning slightly, he rises to his feet, not an especially easy feat when you have an eleven-going-on-twelve-year-old girl on your back. Sasami cheers and hugs Tenchi's neck. "Thank you, Daddy," she says happily. "Now you and Mommy can't be naughty!" Rolling his eyes in annoyed amusement, he starts off walking, Kiyone hanging behind him to make sure that he doesn't drop Sasami. They make their way back into the palace, to find their Guradians making small talk with several other Guardians. Sasami walks up to Azaka and taps on his side. "Azaka?" The blue-marked Guardian pivots to look down at this mistress. "Yes, Princess Sasami?" "I need the key," the young princess explains. "Oh, the key!" The Guardian hovers still for a moment, then a small panel flips open and a small robotic arm exetends, offering a key made entirely of amethyst to the young princess. She takes it and hugs the large floating log. "Thank you." The knights look somewhat shaken at the appearance of the key. "What's wrong?" asks Kiyone. "T-t-that is the k-k-key to the emperor and empress's special chambers," sputters Azaka. "I-i-it's forbidden for anyone outside the Royal Family to even see it!" stammers Kamidake. Tenchi rolls his eyes. "Well, I won't tell if you won't." He pretends not to see the deep sighs of relief that the two warriors heave. "Do you want to see it, Mommy and Daddy?" asks Sasami cheerfully. Kiyone and Tenchi exchange a glance, and Tenchi nods. "All right, Sami-cha'ya, let's go." Azaka and Kamidake quickly excuse themselves. Sasami leads her adoptive parents to a large set of double doors that are sealed with a large dish-like lock over the center of the break. She presses the key into the center and gives it a quarter turn. The doors slide apart and she leads them through. Inside is a totally different world. As they go, they see exercise rooms and hot springs and saunas and even bedrooms with beds larger than Tenchi and Kiyone's entire room. They also find that they are not alone. Wandering throughout the dozens of levels are people clad in featureless, androgenous robes with the hoods pulled up. The only features of their faces visible are the glowing red eyes. They find themselves descending deeper and deeper into the planet until finally coming upon a large, open chamber. It looks like a much more elaborate version of the girls' bathroom back in the Masaki house, only with a lot more trees. In the very center of the giant pool is a small island with a giant tree, about twenty times larger than Ryu-oh's tree. Tenchi and Kiyone look up at it in awe. On instinct, they both drop to their knees and bow their heads. The tree responds by shooting beams of rainbow light in every direction. After a moment the beams cease and they rise to their feet. "What is it, Sasami?" asks Tenchi, looking as if he just saw the future. Maybe he did. "This is Tsunami, the First Tree of Jurai," explains Sasami. "Do you remember the one on Megamikai? Well, Tsunami told me that they were created at the same time." "So, why isn't the throne down here?" asks Kiyone. "Or, why isn't it up in the throne room?" "It's safe here," replies Sasami. "This tree generates the bulk of Jurai energy in the Republic. If something were to happen to it, the Republic would fall in an instant. Besides, it plays a very important role in the coronation process." Tenchi opens his mouth to ask what when one of the "monks" appears from nowhere. It taps its staff sharply on the ground, and the central tree lets loose a fusillade of multicolored luminescence. It takes only a moment for the beams to cohere into a large holographic projection. The image is of a man who is identical to Yosho in his youth, apparently an emperor from sometime in Jurai's past. He is dressed in a simple white yukata and is being escorted into the chamber. Already standing at the edge of the pool are a priest and a girl who looks very much like Achika. She is dressed in a white kimono. The apparent priest taps (prseumably) his staff on the ground between them. The two embrace and kiss, once, on the lips, and step back, allowing two other priests to remove their robes. Apparently now married and "blessed," the couple step into the pool and start to--fortunately, the home movies stop playing at this point. The priest hands both Tenchi and Kiyone a peachlike fruit and steps back. It then vanishes, as if never there. The fruit is delicious and they make short work of it. Kiyone turns to thank the priest and finds them alone in the chamber. "Wha--where'd he go?" she wonders aloud. "Good question," agrees Tenchi. "Sami-cha'ya, have you ever, uh, seen anything like that, uh, holo before?" Sasami shakes her head. "No, but I know all about it. That's s'posed to be the first time that the Emperor and Empress ever...do that." The serious look on her face vanishes and is replace by a playful one. "But I know it's not you and Mommy's first time! You two are naughty!" Tenchi groans loudly and smirks. "You want to go for a dip in the pool, Sasami?" he says in a mock-menacing voice. "Yeah," says Kiyone playfully. "Let's go for a swim!" She makes as if to push Tenchi into the pool, but he steps to the side and pulls her with him. "Let's go get dinner instead. I'm starved." The three of them make their way up out of the sealed precincts, Sasami teasing her parents from time to time about being naughty. Finally they walk back through the doors, Sasami lingering behind to lock them shut again. She hands the key to Kiyone. "Here, Mommy," she says in mock solemnness. "Keep this." Kiyone tucks the key into the sash of her kimono and hugs Sasami. "Why, thank you, sweetie." "Lord Tenchi! Lady Kiyone! There you are!" Ayeka, Mitsuki, and Mihoshi are running up the corridor towards them. Katsuhito, the goddesses, and the Washus are following behind at a less hurried pace. Tenchi looks genuinely shocked. "Grandpa! Ayeka! What are all of you doing here?" Ayeka is leaning against a pillar, catching her second wind. When it's finally caught, she answers, "We came...so I...could represent...Sasami and I's...branch family...at the...Council meeting...tomorrow." Mihoshi is collapsed at her feet, asleep. Mitsuki, for her part, is looking around with awe at the opulence of the palace. "And Digital Washu and I came so you wouldn't look like an idiot when asking the Council for Kyoto and Ryoko's pardon," declares Washu. "And everyone else?" asks Kiyone. "We've never seen a Supreme Council meeting before," says Murasaki. "I've never been in the Palace before," responds Mitsuki. "I heard the Palace has really good food!" confides Mihoshi, stretching and yawning as she awakes. "And I was bored," puts in Katsuhito. Dinner and the rest of the evening passes smoothly, although Tenchi seems a little uncomfortable with the twelve-course meal, a feast that gives even Mihoshi's prodigious appetite pause. "Isn't this a bit too ostentatious?" he whispers to Sasami. "Actually," responds Sasami, "this is a modest meal." "Somehow I just knew you were gonna say that," he murmurs. She giggles in response. It took him a few minutes to get used to it, but he found the meal so good that the twelve courses did seem a little scanty. However, that feeling of discomfort was about to return full force. It arrives about the time when Tenchi and Kiyone have settled into their quarters. "This is the royal suite," the steward had said. And the bed makes the ones in the underground levels look small. That, however, is not what disturbs him. What disturbs him are the two naked girls lounging atop the sheets. The back of his mind recognizes them as the two girls that had crowned he and Kiyone earlier that day. They look up at him inquisitively. "Good evening to you, Lord Tenchi," says the one on the left. "My name is Yumi, and this is my sister Sumi." "Uh...uh..." Tenchi is shading his eyes. "Uh, hi. Um, what are you doing in my bed?" Sumi looks surprised. "Why, Lord Tenchi, we are yours tonight." Tenchi starts sweating, trying to ignore the shocked look Kiyone has on her face. "You what?" "We are yours tonight to do with as you wish, Lord Tenchi," repeats Yumi. "Anything?" Tenchi pretends not to notice Kiyone's shock deepening. The two girls incline their heads. "Anything you wish, Lord Tenchi." "Well, then, I wish for you two to..." He stops to think for a moment, then nods in decision. "I wish for the both of you to...put on some clothes, go down to the kitchen, get something to eat, and go to bed." The girls look quite surprised, but Tenchi believes that he sees some barely-hidden relief in their eyes. "A-a-are you sure, Lord Tenchi?" asks Sumi, hope warring with logic. Tenchi flashes a reassuring grin. "Trust me, ladies, the only girl I share a bed with is my wi--er, fiancée." Bobbing their heads in thanks, the two girls quickly dress and head for the door. They are halfway out the door when they hear Tenchi say, "Just one more thing." The girls, along with a relieved Kiyone, turn to look at Tenchi. "Yes, Lord Tenchi?" "Tell the other girls in the...tell the other girls not to worry. You'll never have to worry about...stuff like that anymore." The two girls look very happy, and they drop to their knees and start bowing at Tenchi's feet. Grimacing, he reaches down and pulls each girl gently to her feet. "There is, however, a job I would like you girls to consider in lieu of that...stuff. How good are you with kids?" It takes him only a few minutes to talk them into becoming babysitters instead of harem girls. They leave the room happy. Tenchi sighs. Kiyone has already changed into shorts and a midriff top for bed, and is smiling at her husband. "That was very kind of you, Tenchi-yon." "Don't worry about it," he tells her. "You are the only woman who I'll share a bed with, Kiyone-yoni." He smiles wryly. "Unless Sasami has a nightmare, of course." "I knew it?" says Kiyone playfully. "You do want to be naughty with her, don't you?" "I'm not gonna dignify that with an answer," he tells her as he heads into the bathroom. He emerges a moment later in his pajamas. "Right now what I want to do is sleep." Walking over to the bed, he trips himself and lands face-down on the incredibly soft and comfortable mattress. "Mmm...that's soft." Laughing, Kiyone pulls her husband completely onto the bed and turns him over so he's looking up at the canopy. "So are you. Lights!" The room immediately dims. Tenchi is already asleep, and Kiyone watches him lovingly in the dark for a long moment before pulling the covers out and over the both of them. Breakfast is every bit as large and delicious as dinner was the night before. Tenchi is about to grab another helping of Juraian sausage when his eyes fall on the clock. "Oh my god! It's seven-thirty!" He looks down at himself, grateful that he is not a sloppy eater. "Kiyone-yoni, we gotta get ready!" Kiyone nods in agreement. "Sami-cha'ya?" "Uh-huh!" Fortunately for them, the royal suite has a small kitchenette and dining room in it, like most of the nobles' apartments. Sasami leads her mother into the bathroom, along with Ayeka and Mihoshi, while jokingly chiding her father not to watch. Tenchi is too busy getting himself dressed to at any rate. Finally he settles the last garment into place and looks at himself in the mirror. The outfit he now wears is almost identical to the khaki, dark blue, and orange one that he would wear as everyday clothes (See Tenchi Universe, episode 26, "No Need For A Conclusion!", for the full description). The main difference is the color scheme--jade, white, and cerulean--and the fact that the heather-gray cape reaches down to his ankles. Tenchiken fits snugly into a small loop on his belt. Patting down a stray hair, he turns to look at Katsuhito and the goddesses, who have been watching him. "How do I look?" "Like an emperor," Katsuhito answers. "Very handsome, very dignified," comments Murasaki. The door to the bathroom slides open, and Kiyone comes out. At least...they think it's Kiyone. Tenchi's wife is dressed in a long, flowing pale turquoise kimono with golden epaulets on the shoulders and a long, lavender cape. Instead of being in its usual fashion, with the long tail of it falling over her right shoulder, Kiyone's hair is pulled back into a single, long ponytail falling down to her waist. Hanging in front of each ear is a long lock of her hair, secured with tiny fluorescent bows. For once, her signature headband is missing. Behind her mother, Sasami, also dressed up, is smiling. "Doesn't she look great, Daddy?" Tenchi nods enthusiastically. "Kiyone-yoni, I thought it was impossible to make you look any more perfect. I was wrong." "Thank you, Tenchi-yon," coos Kiyone. "I was thinking the same thing about you." "What about me?" asks Sasami in a fake-pouting voice. Tenchi hugs Sasami to him. "Oh, Sami-cha'ya, you're always beautiful. Now, do you promise to behave yourself with the other princesses and not get in any trouble?" "Only if you and Mommy promise not to be naughty at the Council meeting," she replies, pulling Kiyone over to her. After hugging them both for a long moment, she walks out the door, flanked by the Guardians and with Ryo-ohki on her head. Tenchi sighs. "You sure she'll be all right?" Katsuhito nods sagely. "She will be with many other princesses her age. They tend to be a close-knit family, in spite of their parents' constant jockeying for favor. They'll be fine." He gestures at the door. "In the mean time, shall we go, Lord Emperor Tenchi?" Tenchi grimaces. "Please don't call me that, Grandpa." The Council chamber is three levels down, and has to be the largest enclosed space--with the exception of the throne room, which could hold several battleships--Tenchi has ever seen. There is arena-style seating around the circular chamber, with a large, round table at the very center of the room, set on a raised platform. At the apparent head of the table is a throne-like chair, obviously reserved for the emperor. Tenchi gulps as he looks around the cavernous room. It is already three-quarters filled, and will soon reach max capacity. In the special visitors' viewing gallery--where Katsuhito, Mihoshi, Mitsuki, and the goddesses will be watching from--it is already SRO. "Is it too late to say I want to back out?" Ayeka laughs. "Very funny, Lord Tenchi. Don't worry, you have nothing to worry about. Uncle Kenichi and Sagami are already on your side, and the Council is desperate. They'll do whatever you want." Deciding not to comment, Tenchi nods and gives his tunic a last downward tug. "Let's do it." He, Kiyone, and Ayeka walk into the room and up to the central table. Sagami is already waiting for them with a smile. He motions Ayeka to her seat several down from the throne. Tenchi looks a little confused. "Um, do I, ah, sit in the...or not?" "Not quite yet," chuckles Sagami. "Lord Tenchi, you sit in the seat on the left of the throne, and Lady Kiyone, you sit to his left." They settle themselves into the chairs just as Kenichi, dressed in full Lord Chancellor's regalia, walks into the chamber, followed by the last dozen or so stragglers. The gathered assembly immediately quiets, and the sound of the massive oak doors swinging shut echoes unnaturally through the chamber. He climbs the steps to the center table and pull his chair out, the one on the right of the throne. Reaching into the folds of his tunic, he draws out a light sword similar to Tenchi’s, except with a compass-like star at the bottom of the hilt. He closes his eyes and a deep cerulean blade erupts from the tuning fork-like projecting end. At this, everyone else in the chamber (with the exception of Tenchi and Kiyone, who don't know what to do, and Ayeka, who doesn't have a light sword) rise to their feet, produce light swords, and ignite their blades. Many are turquoise or cerulean, like Tenchi's and Kenichi's. Others are jade- or lime-green. Still others are purple or red or gold or even pure white. If the electricity in the Palace failed at this moment, the chamber what be very well lit by the thousand blades of Jurai energy. Kenichi sweeps the room with his gaze, then intones, "Long live the Republic." "Long live the Republic," answer back the gathered Councilors. Nodding in approval, Kenichi extinguishes his blade and seats himself. "As Lord Chancellor of the Supreme Council, and as senior regent in the absence of an Emperor, I hereby call the session of the Council to order. You may be seated." soft rustling fills the chamber as the Council sits down. Kenichi shuffles through his papers, then sets his hilt in front of the throne. "Any old business?" He checks the screen and keypad inset in front of him; if someone had anything to say, it would show up on his screen. Satisfied, he continues, "All right then. New business. First and foremost on the agenda, the bid of Tenchi Masaki, of the Masaki line, for the throne." He smiles at Tenchi; the previous night before bed, he, Sagami, Tenchi, and Kiyone ran the entire process through. "Lord Tenchi, there is no one more qualified for the throne. You are of the direct line of descent, and you have proven yourself worthy. Therefore, we are prepared to offer you whatever you want if you will take the throne." Tenchi nods in thanks. "Thank you, Lord Chancellor Kenichi. I only have a few requests." He gives Kiyone's hand a squeeze. "Most important is the matter of my empress. This is my fiancée, Kiyone Makibi. I wish for her to be my empress." There is an initial shocked silence, then hushed whispers start to bounce around the chamber. Kenichi holds up his hand for silence and looks at Tenchi. "Not that we're saying no, Lord Tenchi, but would you like to state why, for the record?" Tenchi grins inwardly. They had rehearsed this last night. "Well, first of all, I love her and she loves me. Number two, if it hadn't been for her and her partner, the Council would still be answering to Kagato." He suppresses a wicked grin as a fearful murmur at the usurper's name floats around for a few moments. "And finally, it is my understanding that an emperor has the right to choose who he wants as his empress, and vice versa." Kenichi nods sagely. "That is true, Lord Tenchi." He starts to say something else when the doors to the chamber fly open and a man, dressed in garb similar to Tenchi’s but far more ornate, strides into the room. He is tall and muscular, and has hair of a length and style similar to young Yosho, but it is purple in color, and he has a mustache and braided beard. There are a half-dozen soldiers in dress uniforms flanking him, each one carrying a wicked-looking laser rifle. Both Kenichi and Kiyone lean froward to peer at him, shocked looks on their faces. "What is he doing here?" mutters Kenichi. Tenchi just looks confused. "What, who is he?" Kiyone gulps. "That is Azusa, the Emperor of the Megami Alliance." Before Tenchi can say anything else, Azusa has climbed onto the raised platform and is stepping over to the lecturn behind the Executive Committee table. Tapping the mike impatiently, he asks formally, "Lord Chancellor Kenichi, I request permission to address the Supreme Council of the Republic of Jurai." Kenichi looks slightly flabbergasted, but he also has a canny look in his eyes, as if he knows what Azusa is here for. "By all means, Your Majesty." Azusa nods in thanks, then takes a long look around the chamber. The expression on his face is overloaded with wry humor. "This is a day I bet many of you thought you would never see. A Megamian girl being considered for your Empress?" He chuckles. "Oh, I know she'll probably be voted in, if only to appease your emperor--" He nods in approval at Tenchi. "--but I would imagine that some of you are rather...let's say reluctant. That's a more polite word." He sighs theatrically. "I suppose it wouldn't mean much to remind you that this young lady was instrumental in ousting Kagato from your throne? How about the fact that her mother is the Alliance's senior representative to the Galactic High Council? What about how extraordinary she must be to win the heart of a Juraian prince?" He laughs in dry humor. "All right, here is something that I daresay will matter. "She's a princess." The mutters and whispers that seem to congregate in the chamber cut off abruptly. The only people in the chamber unsurprised by the news are Sagami, Kenichi, and Kiyone. Even Tenchi looks astonished. "Kiyone-yoni...you're a princess?" Kiyone nods happily. "That's right, Tenchi-yon. I'm third in line for Megami's throne." Azusa has an amused smirk on his face. "Well, now, I would say that you have no choice but to make her your empress now, do you?" Kenichi, smiling as if he already knew, nods. "Well said, Lord Azusa. Shall we vote?" He has to repeat the phrase several times before the Council's hearing kicks back in. Sagami is grinning broadly. "Lord Chancellor Kenichi, I move that the Council recognize Princess Kiyone as Lord Tenchi's empress." Kenichi, not bothering to hide his grin anymore, nods. "Do I hear a second?" "I second it." This comes from Seiryo, a pink-haired fop who is on the Executive Committee in charge of arts and culture. "It's perfect, like the Yuki-cha'ya* story in real life." "All right, then. All votes in favor, light your swords and stand up." The vast majority of the Council stands up, their blades glowing. Tenchi counts at least eight hundred fifty ("I think," he later said). What impresses him is that everyone at the central table stands up, even Ayeka, who clutches a shortsword of lime-green Jurai energy in her right hand. He notes with amusement that Seiryo's sword is built into a folding fan he carries and brandishes like a coquettish noblewoman, but the rose-colored blade rising from the projecting end still looks deadly. "All opposed, same sign." A much smaller number rises, and most of them are looking with hate at Kiyone. The apparent leader stands up, a short, squat man, with a receding hairline and a scowl on his face. "I protest this, Lord Chancellor Kenichi! Surely you won’t--" "The Council has voted, Lord Sato," replies Kenichi coldly. Sato has a look of horror and disgust etched into his features. "I cannot believe you are sanctioning this! Allowing an non-Juraian--and a Megamian, at that!--to become our Empress--" "Didn’t you hear me, Sato?" Even though it’s only nine-thirty by now, Kenichi looks like he’s had a long and grueling day. Evidently this is not the first time he and Sato have dueled with words and votes. "The Council has voted. Live with it." Sato is ignoring the Lord Chancellor. "Lord Tenchi, I can offer you far better than that Megamian slut!" He pushes a button on his keypad, and the image of a beautiful woman appears over the Executive Committee’s table. "This is my daughter Jueiko, one of the most beautiful women of the upper classes. She would be the ideal--" "No thank you." Tenchi’s tone is icy. "I want Kiyone as my Empress, and no one else." "But, Lord Tenchi! I could have my daughter change her appearance to look like...her! Why not choose a noble girl of Jurai instead of--" "I said, no thank you." Tenchi’s voice has gotten icier. "Lord Sato, if you wanted your daughter to get a good job or something, you could have just told me. I would have seen to it. Is love a foreign concept to you?" A low chuckle runs around the room as Tenchi maintains his icy demeanor. What he wants to do to that bastard is tack him to the wall and use him as a punching or slicing bag in retribution for his insults to his beloved, but he will not give the other man the satisfaction of seeing him give in. "The Council vote is in favor of Lady--I, I, I mean, Princess Kiyone," announces Kenichi firmly. He streches a hand out to Kiyone, which she take and shakes. "Congratulations, Your Majesty." "Thank you, Lord Chancellor Kenichi," replies Kiyone formally. She smiles at Azusa. "Thanks, Uncle Azusa." The Megamian emperor bows with a flourish and leaves the chamber, his bodyguards following close behind. The door to the chamber swings shut with a thunk, and Tenchi releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. So my Kiyone-yoni's a princess... That's right, I'm your little princess, aren't I, Daddy? she chirps mentally. That you are, Kiyone-yoni, but we should talk about that later. They pull their minds back to the meeting. Kenichi is asking, "What is your second request, Lord Tenchi?" "Second, I want my homeworld of Earth removed from any and all charts of galactic expansion and colonization, be it Juraian or otherwise. I want the Council to make it a special protectorate, and to bring it into the GF when it is ready." "That sounds fair," comments Ryutaro, the Lord Admiral of the Navy. He is a dark-haired, bearded man who, ironically, had been the captain of the Juraian cruiser that had attempted to arrest Ayeka and Sasami. After that incident, he and his crew had secretly joined the resistance that Kenichi had headed. "I move that it be done." "Do I hear a second?" asks Kenichi again. "I second that." This comes from Lady Midoriyama. The beautiful, raven-haired woman is the Councilor in charge of finance and economics, and one of the few women on the Executive Committee. The vote is much the same as the last one. Again Tenchi notices the handful of naysayers glaring at Kiyone, as if her presence has tainted the ground she walks on, and he gives her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Third?" Tenchi takes a deep breath. Kiyone was most important to him, and had him the most worried, but this ran a very close second. "Third, I wish for pardons for Kyoto Minamoto and Ryoko." Now the Council dissolves into an uproar. Even Kenichi and Sagami, who had listened to the testimony of Kiyone, Tenchi, and the two Washus the night before, wince. "Lord Tenchi, why?" The pained look on Sagami's face is very close to real. "If it wasn't for them, Kagato would still be--" begins Tenchi, wearing an almost-real indignant expression. "Ryoko, certainly," interrupts Ryutaro. Although not present at the pre-meeting meeting the previous night, he seems to have caught on to the game, and has started playing. "We will certainly grant her a pardon. But to the best of my knowledge, Kyoto had nothing to do with the defeat of the usurper. Do you have any proof that would con--" The entire Council looks up in surprise as the doors to the chamber bang open for the second time that day. The surprise is replaced by fear as they see who it is. Granted, the intruder's stature is not nearly as imposing as Azusa, but they never had to worry about Azusa turning them into a water sprite... Two Washus, dressed in matching Science Academy dress uniforms, stride into the chamber. Tenchi would later be convinced that he saw some Councillors cowering under their chairs. Now that is perfect timing, he reflects. Kenichi's face flickers slightly, then drops into a stern set, the likes of which an actor would applaud. "What is the meaning of this?" "Very simple, really," answers the Washu with pink hair. "We have proof that Kyoto Minamoto is deserving of a pardon." Toshiyuki, the Lord Marshal of the Army, leans forward. His tanned face and green eyes reflect curiousity. "Really? What kind of proof?" The white-haired Washu holds up a double-A battery-sized cylinder. "The holographic kind." She climbs the steps and takes the lecturn that Azusa had just vacated. Once there, she finds that she can barely see over the top of it and she produces a hololaptop. Her fast typing produces a small stepladder that she climbs onto. Now she is towering over everyone, and everyone in the room has broken out into a nervous sweat. She slides the info cylinder into an I/O port on the lecturn's comp-pad and hits the PLAY button. A holographic sphere appears right over the Executive Committee table, and the face inside is that of... Kagato. Sort of. It is Kagato in the holo-sphere, but his face and expression are far different. There is no naked lust for power, no seething anger barely held in check. In its place is a sheepish grin and a pair of eyes sparkling with humor. The fact that he is wearing a GP executive-rank officer's uniform with the starburst-and-star of Director General gleaming on his collar is not lost on the assembled nobles. "Is this thing on?" he asks in a nervous voice. They hear Washu's voice giving confirmation, and he nods. "Okay. My name is Kagato Yasaki, and I'm the GP DirGe--I mean, the Galaxy Police Director General in this universe. I don't know why he needs it, but I've been asked to give testimony on behalf of Kyoto Minamoto." "What in the hell--" begins someone in the first tier of Councillors, but Kenichi makes a silencing motion with his right hand. The holo-image pauses. "Washu told me that my testimony would make the most impact. Again, I'm in the dark as to why, but that happens to me a lot. At any rate, I have only known Kyoto Minamoto for a short time, but that was long enough for me to make up my mind as to what kind of man he is. "In my opinion, he is an honorable one." The image of the alternate-universe Kagato is easily the most calm face in the Council chamber--that is, aside from the Executive Committee table. Kagato continues speaking calmly, unaware of the consternation his words are causing. By the time he is finished with his testimony, the Council is speechless. And then the goddesses start with their testimony. The Council is not sure which is more disturbing: the fact that the legendary creator of their world is real, or that she is speaking on behalf of the man who was second only to Kain on the A1-class Criminal List. It is finally decided that Kyoto being the son of Murasaki is the most nerve-shattering fact of all. Finally, one lone soul finds his voice. "H-h-how do we know this is real?" The Washus turn there gaze upon the speaker, who immediately starts cowering under his chair again. The real Washu sighs. "Trust us, this is very real." Kenichi clears his throat. "Um...uh...ah." He fixes Tenchi with a wry expression. "Lord Tenchi, can you promise to keep a tight rein on him?" Tenchi nods. "That shouldn’t be a problem." "Then he and Ryoko have their pardons. Any other requests, Lord Tenchi?" He ignores the gasps of some Councillors. "Just one more. I wish for the wedding to be held on Earth." Kenichi heaves a very loud sigh of relief. He had seriously been expecting something a lot more controversial. "Done." He notes with amusement that this is the second time in as many minutes that he had invoked the Chancellor’s Override. "The wedding will be held on Earth in--how long?" "Two months," answers Tenchi. He is praying that no one will ask what the need for the two months is. Fortunately for his sake, no one does. Kenichi nods, satisfied. "Then, if that’s everything..." He looks around. The silence in the chamber. "All right, then." He presses a key on his keypad and a dark-haired girl in the garb of a Juraian knight-in-training enters the chamber. As she climbs the steps to the Executive Committee’s table, one can see the box she holds in her hands. It’s the perfect size for a sword. The young lady approaches Kiyone and places the box on the table in front of her. Mystifed, Kiyone undoes the latch and throws back the lid. A gasp of surprise flies from her lips as she sees the sword hilt inside. It is almost identical to Tenchi’s, but the spike-like protrusion in the center of the bottom of the hilt is blunter, and the patterns on the hilt proper are more intricate. She gingerly wraps her fingers around it and slowly pulls it out of the box. The realization that she is on her feet comes without warning. So does the fact that she is being swallowed up by a spout of green-white fire. Tenchi shoots up out of his chair, ready to pull his Kiyone-yoni from the flame, but Kenichi places a hand on his wrist. "Don’t worry, Lord Tenchi. Lady Kiyone will not be harmed in any way. In fact..." He lets his voice trail off as the emerald fires die down. Kiyone is standing there, completely intact. There is only one small, insignificant difference. The marking on her forehead, the kind that only members of the Royal Family wear. It is similar to the ones that she and Tenchi had sported when generating the Light Hawk Wings, but the two flanking triangles are pointed upward. Her eyes are closed and the marking is glowing as she brings the sword into a two-handed grip. There is a wash of white energy and blade the color of Kiyone’s hair is hanging a scant centimeter above the sword’s projecting end. After a long moment the blade disappears and the triangles cease glowing. Kiyone is blinking her eyes, a look of wonder on her face. "Wha...what just happened?" She looks down at the sword in her hands. "Tenchi-yon, why am I holding your sword?" "That is your sword, Lady Kiyone," corrects Kenichi gently. "That is Reiken. In Juraian, it is called chya’kichi. It is the Spirit Sword, second only in power to the Tenchiken, and it is the sword of the Empress." He watches the realization sink in, and smiles as Tenchi hurriedly moves over to her and helps her into her chair. "All in favor for installing Lord Tenchi as our Emperor, light your swords now and stand." The vote is over nine hundred in favor. "Lord Tenchi--or, rather, Lord Emperor Tenchi--the throne is yours," announces Kenichi formally. It takes a moment for Tenchi to get himself moving. He slowly rise from his chair and settles himself into the throne. Kiyone moves over one so that she is on his left. As Tenchi relaxes into the throne, the dais from which the known universe is ruled, his first thought is, Big chair. Comfortable, too.* He draws Tenchiken from its loop/holster and places it before him. "So...I guess...my first decree as Emperor is... that we all take the rest of the day off." Laughter and cheers greet this suggestion. Kiyone giggles and covers Tenchi’s hand with hers. It is the most she will allow herself to do, considering that her impulses are to pounce on her husband and show him just how easy and quick a girl can get out of an Empress’ kimono. We did it, Tenchi-yon, we actually did it, she thinks. We certainly did, Kiyone-yoni, he agrees. So tell me, when were you going to tell me that you were a princess? On our wedding night, she teases. I was gonna be a good little princess for my daddy... He laughs as he tucks his sword back into its holster. How sweet, yoni. Much better than what Dad’s gonna get us. Now, Tenchi-yon, what’s wrong with a big brass bed? Kiyone asks. Nothing, except the fact that’s it’s gonna take up the whole freakin’ room. Tenchi offers a hand up to his wife. Kiyone accepts and literally catapults herself out of the chair, landing full force in his arms. The impact forces him to stagger back, but he doesn’t mind. He hugs her as tightly as he can, and she sighs in contentment. "I love you, Tenchi-yon." "You know I love you, Kiyone-yoni," whispers Tenchi. "Ayeka was right, you two just never stop," teases Sagami lightly. He offers his hand to Tenchi, who shakes it, and then he kisses Kiyone’s hand. "My Emperor and Empress." He backs away slowly and starts to bow, but Tenchi pulls him upright. "Cut that out, for God’s sake. I haven’t been coronated yet." Sagami grins wickedly. "That’s right, you still two months of high school left, don’t you?" Tenchi shrugs. "Lord Tenchi, Lady Kiyone." The newly-minted (though uncoronated) Emperor and Empress turn to see Ayeka standing next to the pink-haired man whose hairstyle is almost identical to Mihoshi’s--Seiryo, remembers Tenchi. He offers his hand to the Councilor. "Thank you for your support, Lord Seiryo." Much to his surprise, Seiryo shrugs--and then flashes a very masculine grin. "No problem, Lord Tenchi." The handshake is firm and manly, nothing like what he expected. Is it possi--no, no, he’s just trying to put Kiyone and I at ease. Kiyone has already noticed that Ayeka and Seiryo seem rather comfortable with each other, almost like brother and sister. She is expecting him to start giving her a noogie any minute...She pulls her attention back to the present, for Seiryo is saying something. "...come on up to my quarters for lunch? I may not be as good a cook as Sasami-kai’ya, but I can hold my own in the kitchen..." Tenchi nods. "That’s a good idea. Speaking of Sasami-cha’ya..." He taps Kiyone on the shoulder. "Kiyone-yoni, hadn’t we better get our daughter?" "Bring her up with you," suggests Seiryo. "Yusuke!" A Guardian, identical to Azaka and Kamidake but with yellow Jurai script painted on the front under the receptor eye, floats up. "Yes, Lord Seiryo?" "Please go with Lord Tenchi and Lady Kiyone to pick up Princess Sasami, then show them the way to my quarters." "Yes, Lord Seiryo." The Guardian floats toward the door. "This way, please. I will take you to the Royal Playroom." As they walk, Tenchi muses, "I wonder what’s going on Earth..." It’s nine-thirty A.M. in Okayama, and the students in Masamichi Fujisawa’s homeroom are starting to get a little worried. He’s never been this late before, not even when drunk, or when busy with Mrs. Fuji-- Mrs. Fujisawa (a.k.a., Miz Mishtal) comes into the room. The beautiful, lavender-haired priestess-turned-teacher smiles her brightest smile at her husband’s class. "Good morning! My hus--er, Mr. Fujisawa isn’t feeling very well today..." Isn’t that an understatement, she thinks dryly. Masamichi had spent the entire previous day trying to figure out just what young Mr. Masaki had done. "He’s good with math, but not this good!" he kept repeating over and over. Finally, he gave up and called a friend of his who taught at Nekomi Tech. "If anyone can figure this out, he can," he had told her. His friend had even less of a clue to what had been done. "It would take years to just begin to figure out this formula!" he had cried. The only comfort he had been able to give was that he had had similar unexplainable experiences with a couple of his students. This did Masamichi no good. After hanging up, he had stared at the paper onto which he had copied Tenchi’s work for a long moment...and fainted. Now he is at home with a damp washcloth laid across his forehead, moaning "I wanna teach history again...don’t wanna teach math no more..." Being the loving wife that she was, Miz had volunteered to teach his classes for him that day, not having any of her own. "And so, I will be covering his classes today! So, where did we leave off?" "Uh, Mr. Fujisawa dismissed us when he couldn’t figure out what Tenchi did on the board," answers Kenji (Tenchi’s clown-faced friend from OVA#1). Miz suppresses a grimace. "Uhh...okay." She shifts her gaze towards Tenchi/Kyoto. "Tenchi, what exactly did you do on the board?" "Allow me to demonstrate, Mrs. Fujisawa." "Tenchi" rises from his chair and repeats the mathematical ballet. Masamichi Fujisawa, once a math major, was completely baffled. Miz Mishtal-Fujisawa, barely knowing enough basic algebra to draw a graph, is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. "Uhh...uhh...uhh..." She immediately starts gathering up her papers. "C-cl-class is dismissed." She staggers out the door. Sasami and Ayeka are not the only princesses of the Jurai Royal Family. There are, as Ayeka has previously stated, many branch families, and most of them have princesses. So, while Ayeka and the other adult members of the various branch families are at the Supreme Council meeting, Sasami and those her age (which are many) are in a playroom of sorts, a large chamber filled with trees, toys, snacks, and (of course) Ohkis. Most of these princesses are Sasami's age, and are equally sweet, adorable, and irresistible (a room full of Sasamis--a dream come true!). Right now Sasami is playing with some of her friends and their Ohkis (yes, Ryo-ohki is there too). Suddenly an attendant appears next to Sasami. "Princess Sasami, a call for you." "Oh! Thank you, Miss Tomi!" Sasami lets the attendant lead her over to a private phone set into the wall. She picks it up, listens to the headset for a few minutes, and, smiling broadly, hangs up. "Good news, Sasami?" asks Yuggi, a flaxen-haired sprite that is an old friend of Sasami's. Sasami nods enthusiastically. "Mm-hmm! The Council meeting is over, and my daddy is Emperor now!" Dark-haired Misao looks with confusion at her favorite cousin. "Sasami, aren't your parents." "Yes, but I'm talking about my new parents!" enthuses Sasami. "Would you like to see a picture of them?" At this Sasami's friends and a few of the older princesses cluster around. Sasami pulls a picture of Tenchi and Kiyone, taken on a tropical world, from her pocket. Tenchi is in shorts and a half-buttoned tropical-print shirt, Kiyone in shorts and a bikini top. The grin they are gracing the camera with give Sasami's a run for their money. "Oh, it's Prince Tenchi!" sighs Kumiko, one of the older princesses. "I have a picture of him at home. He's so kawaii." All the girls, including Sasami, nod in agreement. "And he's adopting you?" asks Yuggi. Sasami nods. "Who's the girl with him?" asks Misao. "That's my new mother, his fiancée Kiyone," explains Sasami. "She's a detective with the Galaxy Police." All the other princesses look mildly shocked. "Can a prince marry a detective?" queries Kyoko, an amethyst-haired beauty. "Well, the Council just made him Emperor, and he wouldn't have accepted the throne unless she could be his Empress, so I guess he can," answers Sasami decisively. "She's so pretty," sighs Kumiko. "Yeah, she is!" echoes Misao. "She looks really sweet, too!" "She is," smiles Sasami. "Where's she from?" asks Kyoko. "Megami." The real thing replaces the mild shock. "She's from Megami?" whispers Yoko, the littlest and cutest princess in the room. "B-b-but, aren't Meagamians really bad people?" "Maybe not," comments Chie, a mahogany-tressed princess. "My older sister is the Jurai ambassador to Megami, and she says most of the people there are just like us." "Well, I don't know about other Megamians," replies Sasami, "but Kiyone is one of the kindest, most loving people I know. She would never try to hurt anyone." "Really?" asks Misao, looking a little afraid. Sasami nods. "Really." She then proceeds to tell her friends what life with Tenchi and Kiyone is like. Soon they are all giggling at Sasami's description of their "naughtiness." The door to the chamber slides open, and Tenchi and Kiyone step through. They walk over to where Sasami and her friends are talking. Tenchi waits till he is sure she hasn't seen him, and then he picks her up and hugs her. "Guess who." "Daddy!" she cries out happily, wrapping her arms around his neck. After a moment he sets her down and Kiyone hugs the young princess. "Hello, Sami-cha'ya. Having fun?" Sasami nods. "Uh-huh!" She introduces Kiyone and Tenchi around to all her friends, who are amazed that this woman is every bit like Sasami had described her. By the time introductions are finished, they adore her as much as Sasami and Tenchi do. Of course, they already adore Tenchi. He has achieved something of a "pin-up" popularity among the girls of the Royal Family's branches. All of them are taking turns hugging him and kissing him on the cheek, though none of them go for the lips, not wanting to incur Kiyone's anger. Look at all these little girls for you, daddy, teases Kiyone. Kiyone-yoni, cut that out, chides Tenchi. "Ready to go, Sami-cha'ya?" "Go?" Sasami looks up at Tenchi. "Are we leaving now, Daddy?" She hugs him again. "Can we please stay a while longer, Daddy?" Kiyone smiles. "Yes, sweetie, we're staying for another couple of days. Your father and I were just going to get some lunch, and we wondered if you wanted to come with us." "If it's all right, Mommy, I'd like to stay awhile with my friends here." Sasami turns her most irresistible smile on Kiyone. "Is that okay, Mommy?" "Of course, darling." Kiyone takes Tenchi's hand. "We'll be eating with Ayeka and Seiryo. If you need us, just call." "Okay, Mommy." Sasami gives Kiyone and Tenchi each a last hug before letting them go. "Now don't you be naughty!" she chides as they approach the door. This sends the rest of the girls into spasms of laughter. Tenchi blushes. "What exactly did she tell them?" "Perhaps it's better if we don't know," suggests Kiyone. "Come on, they're waiting for us." Ayeka and Seiryo are indeed waiting in Seiryo's apartment, in the Supreme Council wing of the Palace. "What took so long?" asks Ayeka as Tenchi and Kiyone come through the door. "Sasami wants to stay with her friends for a while," answers Tenchi, seating Kiyone at the table. "It's so rare that she gets any time with girls her own age, so I figure it's a good idea." "Probably," agrees Seiryo, dressed in Earth-style casual clothes--slacks and a button-down shirt--and an apron. One of the first things Tenchi and Kiyone had noticed was that when in private, the effeminate air disappeared and was replaced by a nonchalant, happy-go-lucky, and very masculine persona. Even the lisp in his voice disappears. He is carrying a tray with what looks like four miniature Guardians, right down to the AG apparatus on the underside, resting on it. "Here are some drinks." Tenchi reaches out and takes two, handing one to Kiyone. He eyes the object dubiously. "Is this a can of pop?" Seiryo nods. "Yes. It's Jurai Cola. I have some beer in the fridge, if you'd prefer." Kiyone shakes her head. "This is fine, thanks." She and Tenchi both pop of the resealable caps and take sips. Tenchi's eyes widen as the taste hits home. "That's good!" he comments, as he takes another drink. "What is this?" "It's ki’ni'chi punch," answers Ayeka. "It's Jurai's equivalent of Earth's peaches." "Quite good," agrees Kiyone. The food follows quickly, cooked by Seiryo himself, and it is equally good. Conversation shifts back and forth between various topics (Tenchi and Kiyone were very surprised to learn that Seiryo and Ayeka were old friends), with a large portion of it concentrating on the Council meeting. Seiryo leans back in his chair. "That was very good, the way you handled Lord Sato in there. You presented yourself as reasonable while making him out to be an idiot--which he is." He takes another sip of his drink. "Thank god for self-cooling cans. Anyway, you made a lot of friends today on the Council. However you made him mad. Now he'll give you no support whatsoever." "Do I really need his support?" asks Tenchi. "Not really," assures Ayeka. "No one on the Council likes him, and you should have little trouble from him directly. However, he does have friends in the private sector that may be convinced that you may encroach on them now. Tread lightly, Lord Tenchi--at least for a few years, until you are fully established on the throne." "Speaking of making friends," laughs Kiyone, "the other princesses seemed to be quite fond of Tenchi, especially that one...what's her name? Oh, yeah, Kumiko." She smiles at her husband. "So, Tenchi-yon, you're calling her ‘Kumi-kai'ya' now." "And she's calling me ‘uncle Tenchi.' So what's your point?" quips Tenchi. Seiryo chuckles. "Ah, Kumiko. She's the president of the Tenchi Masaki Fan Club." "I have a fan club?" laments Tenchi. "That’s hardly surprising, Tenchi-yon," laughs Kiyone. "Remember all the girls who were following us around yesterday?" Ayeka giggles. "Really?" "It’ll be even worse tonight," snickers Seiryo. "There’s a party tonight, for the new Emperor and Empress. Most of the Council--and their families--will be there. And so will most of the branch families. And all of them have at least a couple of daughters of marriageable age." Tenchi looks very frightened. "Oh, no..." "But after today," Seiryo continues in a casual tone, "everyone will know better than to press the issue--of marriage, that is. The girls will probably still cling to you, Tenchi. And since you will be their ‘uncle Tenchi’..." "They’ll all want to sit in their uncle Tenchi’s lap," finishes Kiyone with a laugh. After a moment, Ayeka and Seiryo join in. Tenchi sighs and takes another bite of his food. Kyoto, now back in his own form, slaps Tenchi’s math book shut with a flourish. "There! All done!" "You finish Tenchi’s homework for tonight?" asks Ryoko, poking her head into Tenchi’s room. "Nope--for the rest of the year," replies Kyoto. Ryoko looks impressed. "Wow!" She steps into the room, and Kyoto realizes that she is wearing one of Kiyone’s schoolgirl uniforms. It is very tight on her, and this fact is not lost on him as she settles herself in his lap. She grins at him with undisguised lust, and then manages a surprisingly convincing innocent voice. "Come on, sensei, I need some tutoring..." They kiss. In another time and place, a world where a large Death Star-like weapon hangs in orbit above a tall tower and cats are living armor, an older man looks over a paper full of equations and shakes his head. "And you say that your friend, a young man no older than yourself, did this?!" Makoto nods. "That’s about the size of it, Doctor." "We were just as surprised as you were," adds Nanami. "I mean, we knew Tenchi was good at math, but..." "This is very unnatural," completes Miz, still a little shaken herself. "Masa--er, Mr. Fujisawa is still recovering. This morning, he was talking about giving up teaching and relocating back here permanently." She shrugs. "Not that that would be so bad, but he was talking a little hut on the summit." Her eyes reflect the fear she feels. "A little hut on the summit!" "Hmm." Dr. Shtalubaugh walks over to a cabinet, rummages around for a moment, and draws forth a vial containing a dark green liquid. "Give this to him. Two small sips three times a day, and Miz, I would suggest that you take some as well." Miz gratefully takes the vial. Makoto checks his watch. "We’d better get going. I still haven’t quite perfected control of the Eye of God yet, and if we don’t keep on a tight schedule, we may end up in a totally different world." "Right." Miz and Nanami follow him to the door, and Miz calls back, "Thank you, Doctor! Tell Shayla and Afura that we’ll be back this weekend!" In a small but neat house on the grounds of a temple, just a few kilometers from the Nekomi Institute of Technology, Keiichi Morisato and his housemates are trying to puzzle out a paperful of equations. "And your friend Tenchi did this?" repeats Belldandy, her eyes wide with amazement. Keiichi nods. "I can’t believe it either. He’s good at math, but not like this." He passes the sheet over to Urd, who looks at it for one second and passes it to Skuld. The youngest goddess stares at the paper for a long time, and then sighs. "I understand it, but just barely. No way an ordinary mortal could understand it, let alone do it!" "Now, now," chides Belldandy. "Tenchi’s not that ordinary, remember?" "It’s not like this matters," cuts in Urd, sounding bored--but then, Urd always sounds bored. "When’s dinner going to be ready, Belldandy?" Kiyone’s prediction is right-on. The moment she and Tenchi step into the reception hall, every girl between the ages of thirteen and twenty-one is snuggled up against him, hugging him tightly--a little too tightly for Kiyone’s taste, but she knows her Tenchi-yon won’t do anything--and begging him for a dance. He acquiesces graciously, giving each of the star-struck girls a dance, but Kiyone still manages to get the first and last dances. The other members of their group, dressed like everyone else at the party in formal gowns and tuxes, are less interested in the dancing than they are in the goings-on around the dance floor. Mihoshi is making short work of the buffet table. Mitsuki is looking around the room in awe; to her, the Palace is one opulent surprise after another. Katsuhito is regaling a tableful of young nobles with stories of his youthful exploits. The goddesses are having the time of their lives being wined and dined. In fact, they wear out their dancing partners more often than vice versa. And Ayeka and Seiryo are talking at an empty table near the door. The party finally wears down, and one by one the people trickle out the door. Tenchi and Kiyone are among the last ones out. Still a little buzzed from the relatively light amount of consumed ki’ni’chi wine, they are waltzing (or Juraian equivalent) all the way up to their room. Once inside, Tenchi collapses on the bed, after stripping off his clothing and piling it on a nearby chair. Fighting against the pleasantly drowsy feeling the wine has hit him with, he pushes himself to a sitting position, noting that Kiyone is not joining him on the bed. "K’yone-yoni?" The green-haired princess-turned-detective-turned-empress smiles at her beloved. "Just gotta make myself more comfortable, Tenchi-yon." She disappears into the bathroom and closes the door. It slides open a minute later to reveal her clad in short lime-green shorts and a half-tank top cut off just below the lower curve of her breasts. She has a feline smile on her face that widens as she watches Tenchi sit bolt upright. Now, this is typical nightwear for her, something that he has seen her in many times, but this is the first time he’s ever seen an empress wear such skimpy clothing to bed... What do you think, Daddy? Kiyone asks in her most little-girlish mental voice. She fingers the plunging neckline of the top, elated by Tenchi’s reactions. D’ya think this is appropriate nightwear for an empress? For my empress, responds Tenchi. He reaches up as she walks toward the bed and pulls her down on top of him. She releases a sigh of contentment and relaxes against him. Ready for bed, Tenchi-yon? she inquires. Yes, I am. Funny, though, I can’t shake the feeling that we’re forge--He sits upright again, almost throwing Kiyone off of him. "Sasami!" Kiyone looks confused for a second, but then it hits her. "You’re right! We forgot all about Sami-cha’ya!" She rushes into the bathroom and returns with two kimonos, one of which she throws to Tenchi while donning the other. The two of them throw the door open, ready to go charging down the hall-- --only to find Sasami curled up in front of the door, dozing. She is still in her clothes, and Ryo-ohki is cuddled close to her, purring softly. Kiyone’s mothering instincts take over. "Ohhh..." Tenchi smiles and picks Sasami up. "I guess the bed will have three in it tonight." "You mean four," laughs Kiyone, picking up Ryo-ohki. As they carry her into their bedroom, Sasami starts to stir. She looks up happily, if drowsily, at Tenchi. "Daddy?" "That’s right, Sami-cha’ya," whispers Tenchi. "Your mother and I are putting you to bed." She smiles. "Okay. Don’t be naughty with me." Ayeka and Seiryo are once again in his quarters. They had retired from the party early, seeking some relative quiet. The bottle of ki’ni’chi wine he had broken out upon their arrival is now almost empty. Ayeka yawns loudly. "It’s been a..." She takes a long moment to think about her words, then plunges on. "It’s been...a long time since the last time we did this, Seiryo." The pink-haired man nods. "Yes, it has been." He smiles. "Who would have ever thought that a Supreme Councilor..." He reaches out and takes Ayeka’s hand in his. "...and the First Crown Princess of Jurai..." Ayeka nods. Their affair had started when she was sixteen. He was hardly a decade older. It was helpful that few nobles were virgins on their wedding nights, not even princesses. That affair was not so much passionate as it was emotional. Seiryo had been her best friend--maybe her only real friend--since she was a child, and there was no one else that she could even have imagined losing her virginity to. At the end of it, they were convinced that they were in love. Tentative plans for their wedding were made, but she still had to make a few token marriage meetings, for honor’s sake. She had been on the last of them when she had come to Earth...and met Tenchi. Seiryo had accepted the news amicably--they were still friends. But his feelings had never died. He still loved her. That piece of knowledge is running through Ayeka’s mind right now. Their eyes meet and lock for a long moment. Seiryo breaks the ice. "Do you still love him?" Ayeka is surprised by the question, but she takes a moment to think it over. Finally, "...No. I still care for him as a friend, and as family, but...I don’t love him that way anymore." Seiryo nods. "I’m sorry." To his surprise, she smiles. "Don’t be. He’s happy, and I’m happy he’s happy." "You know I’ll always be here for you." That pops out before Seiryo’s mind realizes it, and he slaps a hand over his mouth. "Uhhh...sorry." The smile is lingering on her face. "I know. And..." She seems to come to a decision. "Could we try again? I-I mean, I’m not settling for you because you’re the second prize." Her eyes bore deep into his. "I...I think I had it right the first time. Nothing against Tenchi, but I see how perfectly he and Kiyone fit together, and I think I had the right person the first time." Part of Seiryo wants to rail at her, but he knows that he’s never been able to deny her anything. Besides, what does he have to complain about now? "Yeah, I think we can do that." She sighs in relief and gets up from her chair. He stifles a laugh as she settles into his lap. "Well, it has been a long time." She gives him a slightly twisted grin. "Yes, and you seem glad to see me!" She wraps her arms around his neck and lowers her lips onto his. The signing ceremony the next morning passes surprisingly smoothly. While the conference room is packed full of dignitaries and press, they are relatively well-behaved--Maybe the paparazzi in space is better behaved, Tenchi thinks--and they don’t interfere. Thus, he has scribbled his signature on the paper almost before he knows what he’s done. He then finds himself standing up and shaking Azusa’s hand and grinning at the camera. As the press and bureaucrats file out, Azusa makes a slight bow to Tenchi. "Congratulations, Lord Tenchi. May your reign be a long and prosperous one." He then embraces Kiyone, and Tenchi would later swear that he was holding her a moment longer than a normal uncle would. "Goodbye, little Kiyone." He does the same to Sasami, and the young girl’s eyes go wide as if he had touched her someplace he shouldn’t have. He finally sweeps out of the room. Kiyone shivers a little bit. "Umph..." "Kiyone-yoni?" asks Tenchi worriedly. "What was that all about?" "Well, he..." Kiyone sighs. "He’s not a bad person, he just can’t keep it in his pants." Sasami has a more succinct way of putting it. "He’s icky!" Tenchi shivers himself. "Well...don’t worry. I’ll keep the two of you safe." He hugs both Kiyone and Sasami. "Are we ready?" "Just about." Kiyone turns to see Azaka and Kamidake toting their luggage, with the knights of the same name right behind. "You guys ready to go?" The two knights bow their heads in assent. Tenchi’s attention turns to his grandfather, the goddesses, the Washus, Mihoshi, and Mitsuki. All of them have their luggage being carried by Hiei, a white-marked Guardian that Yosho found pressed upon himself to take. "Tell Dad and the rest that we’ll be back by Sunday night, okay?" Katsuhito nods. "It has been many years since I myself visited Prime Center. Have fun." "Yeah, have fun!" gushes Mihoshi. "Kiyone, say hi to all of our friends!" Kiyone nods. "I will!" This morning, she is wearing her hair in its normal fashion, as she plans to do from now on except for court functions. "Get Mitsuki settled in and take her out. Do karaoke or something." "I’ll take good care of her!" Mitsuki, for her part, looks frightened by Mihoshi’s pronouncement. Before she can say anything, she and the rest of the group disappear in a flash of electric blue light. Tenchi’s gaze shifts to Seiryo. "You promise to get Ayeka back to Earth by Sunday night?" The pink-haired Supreme Councilor smiles. "I give you my word, Lord Emperor Tenchi." He is holding Ayeka’s hand, prompting a smile to form on Tenchi’s lips. At least she’ll be okay now, he thinks. He turns to his own little entourage. "So, we ready to go?" Twenty Juraian ships sail out of a wormhole. This is a much smaller group than the sixty-ship escort that had accompanied Tenchi and company to Jurai, but all twenty of these ships are Tenchiken-class dreadnoughts, the largest and most powerful ships in the Jurai Navy. Among these is the Yosho, which will be serving as Tenchi’s personal ship until his and Kiyone’s coronation, when they will be given tree-ships of their own. Such thoughts are in the back of Tenchi’s mind as he sees the awesome sight lying before him. Prime Center, the administrative and command center for the entire Galaxy Federation. Kiyone and Mihoshi had often told him about this mammoth complex that dwarfed even Galaxy Police Headquarters, but he had never expected it to be this big... Easily the size of Sol (or maybe even bigger!), Prime Center is a complex of disks and pods, each one the size of a large planet, interlocking and orbiting around a gigantic vertical cylinder like spokes around a hub. At the bottom of the cylinder is a spherical pod with several rings around it. On the top of the cylinder is a semi-flat disk with a large cluster of towers and communication antennae on the flattened apex. This is an architectural and engineering marvel, and he resolves to bring his dad back some pictures, at least. Dad would flip over this... Surrounding this awesome sight are more spaceships than Tenchi knew even existed. "There must be a million of them," he wonders aloud. "Probably more like a hundred million," corrects Kiyone gently. "That’s about how many ships leave and arrive each day." She comes up behind Tenchi and wraps her arms around his waist. He smiles and turns around so he can embrace her. As she snuggles closer to him, she continues, "Also, at least a hundred billion people are permanent residents here, and about five times that pass through here." "Incredible." Tenchi is still a little dazed (then again, wouldn’t you if you’d just been thrust headfirst into the spotlight of cosmic politics?). It takes him a moment to notice that Kiyone is wearing her full-dress GP uniform, complete with the little cap that Mihoshi usually wears with her regular uniform. His lips curve upward in a smile. "You look so cute, Kiyone-yoni!" Kiyone blushes. "Tenchi-yon..." She tips her head back and purses her lips. He leans in and touches his to her, his eyes widening briefly as he feels her tongue inside his mouth. The self-control they try so damned hard to maintain is starting to fade, so it would probably be a good time to let Sasami come in. I think I’ll do just that... "Stop being naughty!" chides the galaxy’s most adorable princess as she walks into Tenchi and Kiyone’s bedroom. "Just gathering a little courage for facing our public, Sami-cha’ya," assures Tenchi. He loosens his arms around Kiyone just enough to make room for Sasami. The young girl snuggles in, intentionally coming between her adoptive parents. "You can’t be naughty with me between you two!" "We don’t have time to, anyway," sighs Tenchi, reluctantly letting go of the two girls. He gives his tunic-jacket a straightening tug. "I hope there’s not a big fuss." Kiyone and Sasami exchange glances and burst out laughing. Now, being the galaxy’s de facto capital means that you get a large daily influx of dignitaries of varied rank and stature. Even so, the arrival of the Emperor and Empress of Jurai--even if they haven’t been officially coronated yet--is nothing that can be ignored. In addition to the crowds of gawkers and lookers-on, there is a small greeting party comprised of several members of the Galactic High Council. The tallest of them, a man with cerulean hair and a mustache and beard of a slightly darker shade, steps forward. The eyes are the same color as Kiyone’s, and Tenchi’s willing to bet that he is also from Megami. "Lord Tenchi, Lady Kiyone, I am Ryoichi Kiyasu, vice-president of the Galactic High Council. Welcome to Prime Center." Tenchi smiles and shakes the proffered hand. The back of his mind registers the thousands of cameras pointing at the two of them. "Thank you, Mr. Vice-president. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble to greet me." He looks around at all the gawking observers. "I mean, you really didn’t have to do this..." Ryoichi laughs. "I don’t blame you one bit, but you get used to it. More or less." He bows to Kiyone. "Princess Kiyone--or perhaps, Lady Empress Kiyone, it is good to see you again. I am sorry your mother could not be here, but she and the president, along with most of the Council, are on Kotami at the Science Academy, attending a dimensional weapons conference." The vice-president of the galaxy steps back and gestures at the others in his group. "The Director General of the Galaxy Police, Hideki Kuramitsu." A tall, tanned, blond, bearded man in a GP executive-rank officer’s uniform steps forward and bows. For a split-second Tenchi is reminded of someone...but he pushes the thought aside for later. "Our director of finance and economics, Yonya Ka’en." A figure, humanoid but with a head and features strongly resembling a tiger (see GP Commander, OVAs), also inclines her head. "Our director of science and research, Yasha Akubi." The woman is almost identical to Washu, except she wears a grown-up body and has hair the color of a lime. "And Riko Koshin, director of the Federal Intelligence and Investigative Agency." The man has to be the most nondescript individual Tenchi’s ever seen, but then, that’s what they pay him for. Ryoichi is speaking again. "May I escort you to your quarters? We have arranged for you to stay at the best hotel on Prime Center..." "Actually," interrupts Kiyone, "I have to get to the GP headquarters on-station..." "Could you show our daughter and our staff to the hotel?" asks Tenchi. He kneels down to look Sasami in the eye. "Sami-cha’ya, we’ll be back soon, okay?" Sasami nods. "Okay, Daddy. Don’t take too long." Ryo-ohki mi-yas in agreement. The Galaxy Police have an entire cluster of towers to themselves in the central hub of the complex. Kiyone’s superior, a detective lieutenant, has his office on the fortieth floor of one of the smaller towers. His secretary, a young detective right out of the Academy, is humming to herself when the door slides open. "Detective Lieutenant Kinjo’s office, may I--" Her words catch in her throat as she sees who just walked in the door. This woman is well known among her colleagues, both for exemplary service as a detective and for having just been made the queen of the universe’s most powerful planet... She shoots out of her chair and snaps to attention, her right hand gluing itself to her brow in salute. "D-D-Detective Sergeant Kiyone!" "At ease." Kiyone has a relaxed smile on her face as she returns the salute, exhibiting a jauntiness the secretary wasn't aware she possessed. "Is the L.T. in?" "Y-Y-Yes, he is," stammers the young novice. "J-J-Just let me buzz you in..." Her hand gropes around on the desk for the better part of a minute before finding the proper control. She swats at it, and the electronic lock’s light shifts from red to green. "G-G-Go right in, Sergeant." She is even more shocked when she sees a dark-haired young man in the garb of Juraian royalty walk into the room, a sheepish expression on his face. He slides the door shut behind him and collapses into the sole couch. "Hi," he says in a nervous but friendly voice. Smiling her thanks, Kiyone walks up to the door. It slides open at her approach and she walks nonchalantly into her boss’ office. The lean, mustached man has all his attention on the computer screen in front of him. "Yes, what is it?" Kiyone brings herself to attention and snaps off a sharp salute. "Detective Sergeant Kiyone Makibi, reporting, sir." He looks up with a bored expression and returns her salute with a languid wave. "Oh, Sergeant. What can I do for you?" His eyes go wide as he sees her reach into her jacket’s breast pocket, pull out her I.D. pen, and drop it on the desk. "Sergeant, what are you doing?" "I’m resigning, sir." Kiyone reaches her hand into another of her jacket’s pockets and pulls out a folded-up sheet of hardcopy. She drops it on the desk next to the pen. Finally, she undoes her jacket and takes it off. The Yanachi Arms large-caliber laser pistol with shoulder rig thunks onto the desk, joining its comrades. The last items she removes are her force cuffs and combat yo-yo. The lieutenant picks up the sheet of paper with trembling hands. "W-why are you resigning?" She gives him a smile. "I’m in love, sir." She shows him her ring finger. "And I’m engaged, too." The lieutenant is dumbstruck. As far as he had known, Kiyone was only in love with her job...but then, this would explain why she had put aside her plum assignment to the regional GP headquarters station (just as well, seeing what had happened to it) and taken that Sol system patrol post again. "Well... congratulations, Kiyone. Who’s the lucky man?" "Tenchi Masaki," announces Kiyone happily. The lieutenant has a blank look on his face. "You don’t know who Tenchi Masaki is?" asks the secretary, poking her head in the door. "No....." The secretary sighs in exasperation. "Don’t you watch the news? Tenchi Masaki was confirmed as Jurai’s new emperor yesterday." She smiles at Kiyone. "And our Sergeant Kiyone was confirmed as his empress. In fact..." She motions out the door, and Tenchi pokes his head into the room. He has a nervous grin on his face. "Uh, hi." The lieutenant passes out. Kiyone shakes her head. "How he made L.T. rank with reactions like that, I’ll never know." Tenchi looks down at the unconscious man. "Um, okay." He shifts his gaze to Kiyone. "Ready to go, Kiyone-yoni?" "He still hasn’t approved my resignation, though," murmurs Kiyone. "Don’t worry," replies the secretary. She unfolds the sheet that has Kiyone’s resignation on it and applies an "APPROVED" stamp to the paper just under Kiyone’s signature. "Now it’s approved." Kiyone gives the secretary a hug. "Thank you, Naya." She pulls her jacket back on, realizes something, and pulls the Detective Sergeant’s insignia from her collar. Dropping it into Naya’s hand, she says, "You’re the one who keeps things running. Kinjo’s so absent-minded, he wouldn’t notice if the entire squad gave themselves promotions to Detective Captain." "And we have been tempted," laughs Naya. "Congratulations, Kiyone--or should I call you ‘Lady Empress Kiyone’ now?" "Not quite yet," says Kiyone, a smile on her face. "The coronation isn’t for two months." She snuggles into her place in Tenchi’s arms. "The wedding will be just before it." "And you’re invited," adds Tenchi. They leave the office about two hours later, having stayed for coffee. Naya had been asking Kiyone the usual questions, and there had been a lot of girlish giggling that Tenchi had done his best to ignore. That had only increased when more of Kiyone’s friends had stopped by. Kiyone guides Tenchi over to a monorail tube and they climb into the car. Fortunately for them, the car is empty, sparing them the necessity of having to face any press or crowds. Kiyone steps over to the keypad and programs a course for the hotel where they’ll be staying. She tosses a smile at her husband. "The Galaxy Police maintains a series of direct-passage transit tubes to the larger towers on-station. We can get to the hotel without having to stop." Tenchi returns Kiyone’s smile with a wink. "Yet another advantage of having a GP as a wife." He wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her on the forehead. She sighs and leans against him as the car starts moving. When they step into their room--much to Tenchi’s dismay, they had been given the most extensive of the hotel’s penthouse suites--they find Azaka and Kamidake sitting in front of the big-screen HV*, game controller units in hand. Shaking his head, Tenchi says, "Sorry to interrupt you guys, but where’s Sasami?" "She and the other two ladies are in her bedroom," answers Kamidake without taking his eyes off the screen. Azaka, his eyes still on the holo-display, jerks a head in the direction of a specific room. Shrugging, Kiyone steps over to it and pulls the door open. She looks in, laughs, and motions Tenchi over to join her. He walks over and releases a chuckle of his own. Sitting inside are Sasami, Sumi, and Yumi, sitting around a table. They’re having a tea party. "Mommy! Daddy! You’re just in time!" laughs Sasami. She holds up a cup of steaming, Japanese-style tea. "Want some?" Kiyone nods, a wide grin on her face and seats herself next to Sasami. "Yes, I would, Sami-cha’ya." She accepts the cup and tastes it. "Excellent." She reaches an arm out and wraps it around Sasami’s shoulders. "You’re a pro, right?" Sasami giggles happily. "I think I’ll take some too," Tenchi replies. He seats himself at the end of the table, holding up his hand to forestall the two ladies-in-waiting from giving him their seats. "It’s all right." Accepting the cup of proffered tea, he takes a long drink and sighs in approval. "Thank you two for watching after Sasami." Sumi smiles and bows her head slightly. "It is our pleasure, Lord Tenchi." "Agreed," adds Yumi. "This is far preferable to our...previous duties." Kiyone shifts a little on her cushion. "Would you two mind, ah, watching after her again tonight?" Sasami looks up in surprise. "Are you two going out again?" Kiyone nods. "I want to show your father around Prime Center." Her grin carries an unmistakable glint of mischief. "And I’m sorry, Sami-cha’ya, but you’re still a little...too young to go along with us." "Why not?" demands Sasami, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Because you need to be of legal age to get into the places I’m taking your father," replies Kiyone smoothly. Sumi giggles. "You two are gonna be naughty, aren’t you?" Her giggle gives way to a full-fledged belly laugh, one that is quickly joined by Sasami and Yumi. Tenchi gapes at Sasami. "Sami-cha’ya, what did you tell them?" "Just what the two of you do, Daddy," chuckles Sasami. "You know, Lady Kiyone," suggests Yumi, the hilarity starting to subside, "if you two are planning to go out, you may have to do something about your appearance. Not that you two don’t look good, but it’ll be a little hard to go unnoticed." "Already planned for," answers Tenchi. They see what he was talking about an hour later when he and Kiyone come out of their room. Tenchi’s ponytail is still present, but his hair is now midnight-blue. Contact lenses have changed the color of his eyes to a deep sky blue, and a pair of mirrored aviator-style shades is pushed up on his forehead. He is wearing a heather-gray suit with black shoes and a jade silk shirt. The top two buttons of the shirt are loose. Sasami laughs in approval. "Daddy! You look good!" Sumi has an appraising look on her face. "Not bad. At least no one will recognize you. At most, some may say that you look a little like...you." She smiles. "Where is Lady Kiyone?" "Right here." A lovely, dark-haired woman steps out of Tenchi and Kiyone’s bedroom. Normally a deep, lustrous teal, Mrs. Masaki’s hair is now blue-black. The omnipresent red-orange headband is absent, and she has some skin-tone makeup rubbed over the Juraian forehead marking. The outfit she has chosen is flattering but not exhibitionistic: a light-blue blouse, a knee-length pleated skirt that is just a shade darker than the blouse, and white, patent-leather mid-heels. Her hair is pulled into a long, lush tail, secured by a bright red ribbon and resting on her left shoulder. A white purse is slung over one shoulder. "Ready to go, Tenchi-yon?" "Any time you are, Kiyone-yoni." Tenchi is mentally thanking the powers-that-be that he had been able to talk his wife out of her original choice of eveningwear: the tight, short, blue silk tank dress with the Mariana-deep neckline, the spaghetti-thin straps, and the hemline that barely hides her panties (oh, by the way, for those who care, Kiyone always wears white cotton string bikini panties with little pink roses dotted across them. God, how I would love to see Kiyone in her skivvies...). What’s wrong, Tenchi-yon? she asks in her little girl’s voice. Doesn’t my daddy like me dressing up like that? Yes, darling, but I don’t like the thought of every man on this station trying to jump you. Now, Tenchi-yon, you know you don’t have to worry about that. You’re the only man I’ll let jump me, assures Kiyone. And just in case, you have your sword, don’t you? Of course, he responds. I’m not defenseless either, she reminds him. I have Reiken in my purse. You’re right, yoni, Tenchi tells her. He starts for the door when he realizes something. Chuckling self-effacingly, he mutters, "I guess the restaurants here won’t take yen, will they?" Sumi smiles. "We anticipated this, so..." She produces a large wad of Jurai bills from a box marked "Petty Cash." Handing it to Tenchi, she says, "Have fun." "Don’t stay out too late!" reminds Sasami. "You promised to take me to Interstar Fun World tomorrow, remember?" "We will," promises Tenchi. The door slides open, and he and Kiyone step through. A transit tube takes them to another cluster of towers, this one a giant shopping and recreation complex larger than all four of Japan’s main islands put together. Tenchi has a wide-eyed expression of wonder on his face. "This...it’s incredible. This one tower is the size of my entire country!" Kiyone nods and draws closer to him. "I know. It is amazing, isn’t it?" She smiles. "After a while, I started accepting things like this as normal, but..." She tightens her grip on his arm. "Seeing your amazement at this makes me feel like I’m seeing it for the first time." Tenchi slips his arm out from her hands, and wraps it around her shoulders. "Tell me, my love, are there any other amazing things here?" Kiyone’s smile widens. "All in good time, Tenchi-yon. But we still need to eat first." She leads her husband to her favorite restaurant on the station: Yoshi’s, a Megamian restaurant. "Go ahead and do the ordering," he tells her. "Whatever you want." He releases a dry chuckle. "After all, we can afford it now." Her eyes sparkling, Kiyone leafs through the menu. Finally she makes her choice. "Tenchi-yon, how does steak sound to you?" Tenchi smiles in approval and she signals for a waitress. The dinner is not the cheapest Tenchi has ever seen, but the food and drink are excellent, and it’s worth it to see the delighted smile on Kiyone’s face as she watches him enjoy his food. He places the listed amount--plus a generous tip; an emperor can afford to throw money around--on the table and gets up. Helping his beloved to her feet to her feet, he asks, "Where to next?" "Out on the town, Tenchi-yon," she answers sweetly as she leads him out the door. Six hours, three dance clubs, one all-night diner, and a ninety-minute "semi-naughtiness" session in a secluded park later (hell, this night on Prime Center would take an entire side-story of its own!), a slightly-more disheveled Tenchi and Kiyone stumble through the doors of their room. They start to dance across the foyer but end up stumbling to the ground halfway in. This awakens Kamidake, who is sprawled across the couch, video game controller still in hand. He blearily brings himself upright. "Lord Tenchi. Lady Kiyo--" He abruptly topples over again, unconscious once more. Tenchi smiles and picks up Kiyone. As they approach their bedroom, she giggles, "Tenchi-yon, isn’t it a little early for you to be carrying me across the threshold?" "I don’t think so," he tells her. Once inside, he sets her on the bed and falls next to her. The next few days are some of the most fun-filled Tenchi has ever had before or since. The day after their night on the town, Tenchi and Kiyone take Sasami to Interstar Fun Center, the galaxy’s equivalent of Disney World--complete with its own mascot, Mac-ohki, a fat-but-jolly Ohki in a sailor suit! Needless to say, they leave the fun park with several armfuls of Mac-ohki merchandise. Kiyone also spends her time at Prime Center looking up friends of hers and Mihoshi’s. They are all very happy for her, and Tenchi is shown off quite a bit. They go back several times, and on Saturday (Earth-relative) they hit the beach. In the very center of Prime Center is a small, artificial sun, or singularity. In addition to providing power to the mammoth complex, it is an ideal setup for 24-hour beach resort, so Tenchi and company are just three out of more than a billion sunbathers. Sunday finally arrives, and the Yosho makes a parking orbit around Earth around 5 P.M., JST. Nobuyuki is in the middle of a mid-afternoon nap when a flash of blue light awakens him. Thinking that Death has come for him, he rolls off the couch and starts groping around for something to defend himself with. "You’re not taking me wi--Tenchi?" Tenchi, dressed in Jurai-style casual clothes (again, see TV series, eps. 26, for this outfit), grins at his father. "Hey, Dad!" He pushes a bagful of souvenirs at Nobuyuki. "Here you go." Nobuyuki shakily takes the bag and starts looking through it. He pulls out a large, board game box-sized carton. "What is this?" He opens it, and a scale model of Prime Center floats out. His eyes go wide. "What the hell is it?" "That’s Prime Center," answers Kiyone, dressed in Earth-style casual clothes (see TV series, episode 7; the shorts with shrine tunic). She leans up and kisses Nobuyuki on the cheek. "Hi, Dad." Nobuyuki barely notices. "Hi, Kiyone." He is looking at the specifications and schematics included in the box. "This is amazing! How big is it in real life?" "About the size of the sun," replies Tenchi. "When’s dinner?" Nobuyuki is still looking at the schematics. "Incredible. Kyoto’s getting take-out." "And I’m back with it," calls out Kyoto, stepping through the door. He holds up several plastic bags with Styrofoam food containers inside. "Who wants Chinese?" Over dinner, Tenchi and Kiyone tell the rest of the "family" about their trip to Prime Center. Nobuyuki, still a little disconcerted that his son will soon be the ruler of the universe’s most powerful planet, is understandably shocked to find that his daughter-in- law is also a princess--as is everyone else at the table, except Mihoshi and Mitsuki. "We already knew that," they explain, going on to say that they’re also Megamian nobility. Both of them are glad to hear that their and Kiyone’s friends are doing well and that they sent their regards. She is also glad that Sasami brought her back a large, plush Mac-ohki doll. Sasami is equally glad to receive the stuffed Totoro. In return, Kyoto tells them what has gone on at school since they left. Tenchi spits out his tea. "You what?!" Kyoto smiles. "I just introduced him to eighth-dimensional omniratic algebra." Washu looks up from her kung pao chicken, scowls, and sends a rice bowl crashing down on Kyoto’s head. "Idiot! Do you know what kind of damage you could do to this planet’s natural development?" Kyoto shrugs. Tenchi has a more immediate worry on his mind. "So what happened the next day?" he asks with a sinking feeling. Kyoto gives yet another shrug. "The faculty took the rest of the week off to study the equations." Tenchi slumps in his chair. "Oh no." The look on his face is that of a stagehand being told that he has to sing the lead in tonight’s musical. "I’m dead." As Tenchi and Kiyone stride into the school the next morning, they notice that people are watching them. Kiyone looks around quizzically. "Why are they all looking at us?" Tenchi manages a light laugh. "You’re that pretty, Kiyone." Why thank you, daddy, replies Kiyone on their mental wavelength. Out loud she says, "Actually, I think they’re all looking at you." They finally walk into their homeroom, to find it empty except for Makoto, Nanami, Ifurita, and Mr. and Mrs. Fujisawa. Mr. Fujisawa is sitting at his desk and has his head cradled in his arms. Makoto is the first to see them come into the room. "Tenchi." Mr. Fujisawa looks up, and groans. Miz shakes her head. "I’d better be getting to my class. Coming, Ifurita?" "Er, yes, Mrs. Fujisawa." Ifurita follows Miz out the door. At the doorway, she turns back and says, "Hope you feel better soon, sensei." Tenchi shifts his gaze back to Mr. Fujisawa, who has buried his face in his hands again. Finally, the teacher raises his head, looks blearily up at Tenchi, and scribbles a jumble of numbers, letters, and mathematical symbols on a sheet of paper. "Tenchi, use the quadratic formula." Tenchi takes a good look at the paper, and steps over to the board. It takes him a little while, but he soon has the equation sketched out. Fujisawa takes an appraising look at the board. "Good, good. Is there anything you’d care to add?" Tenchi gives him a blank look. "There’s more to add?" Now Fujisawa is the one with the blank look. "Huh?" He rises from his chair, looking almost hopeful. "Y-y-you have nothing to add? No Equilibrium Principle of X?" Tenchi’s look of confusion would fool an acting coach. "‘Equilibrium Principle of X?’ What the heck is that?" "Yes!" cries out Fujisawa. Realizing that his students are looking at him in confusion, he seats himself in his chair. "Err, I mean, all right then. Mr. Masaki, you may sit down now." He faces the rest of the class. "After the incident last week, I talked with the principal, and he agreed..." The class looks up at him, far from sure what he’s talking about. "...now, I trust that you will all keep quiet about this, so..." The students, now intrigued, lean forward as one. "...effective today, for this term only, all math classes are suspended. All grades will be listed as passing or good." And as one, the class falls out of their desks. Once they recover, they spend the rest of the period carrying Tenchi (and Kiyone, of course) around the school on their shoulders chanting "Ten-chi! Ten-chi! Ten-chi!" At lunchtime, Makoto keeps giving Tenchi weird looks. Finally, Tenchi sighs and says, "Okay, Makoto, out with it. What’s up?" "I know you, Tenchi," says Makoto firmly. "You’re good at math, but not good enough to use a system that hasn’t even been invented yet--on this planet. Then, over one weekend, you suddenly forget how to do it. You tell me what’s up." Tenchi meets his eyes. "You really want to know?" Makoto nods firmly. Beside him, Nanami and Ifurita look a little guilty. Kiyone gives them a reassuring smile. "It’s nothing bad." She turns her smile to her husband. "Tenchi-yon?" Tenchi exhales heavily and nods. "Okay. Here’s the story. You see, there’s this planet named Jurai..." He has just finished the condensed version of his and Kiyone’s adventures when a junior-year girl from the volleyball team appears at his arm. "Tenchi, Mrs. Fujisawa wants to see you." "Lunch is almost over," agrees Kiyone. She rests her hand atop Tenchi’s. "See you at gym?" He nods. "Yeah. Wonder what Mrs. Fujisawa wants..." "Mrs. Fujisawa?" Miz looks up at the door. "Oh, come in, Tenchi." She gives the senior boy a smile as he shuffles in. "As you know, the volleyball team has made it to the finals, and we’re going to need a lot of help in the next few weeks." "Sure," replies Tenchi. "I’d be glad to help." "I know, Tenchi." She crosses over to a cabinet behind her desk and begins to rummage through it. "So, what do you want me to do?" asks Tenchi. "Scorekeeper? Equipment manager?" He suddenly feels something land in his arms. He holds it up--to see that it’s a girl’s volleyball uniform. Miz smiles innocently up at him. "Star center." "Huh?" This was something Kyoto hadn’t warned him about! Her smile is replaced by a dry chuckle. "Just kidding. What I really need is an assistant coach." "Oh! Okay." Tenchi looks extremely relieved. "So, what do I do?" "Basically, everything you just said. Also, I’ll need you to spend a lot of time going over the plays with the team captain." Warning bells start going off in the back of Tenchi’s head. "Ohh...Yasuki?", referring to a winsome, raven-haired junior. Miz shakes her head reassuringly. "No, I’m afraid that she had a skiing accident this weekend. But, there is a promising transfer student who the girls decided would be perfect for the position..." "Mrs. Fujisawa?" Kiyone steps into the office, clad in a gymsuit. She smiles at Tenchi. "So he’s our new assistant coach..." Tenchi finds himself returning the smile. I could learn to like this... Miz stifles a snort of amusement. Up till a week ago, she would have sworn that Tenchi Masaki didn’t have a lustful bone in his body. Now, the look that he gives Kiyone shows that he can barely keep himself from pouncing on her. Less amazing (in light of the fact that every girl at Shinonome High, aside from Nanami and Ifurita, would jump him in a minute) is the look that Kiyone is directing at him, one carrying even greater lust. She can almost hear the unspoken dirty talk. She clears her throat. "Ready to start, Tenchi?" Tenchi yawns and stretches, not noticing all the girls sighing as he does so. "Okay, that’s enough for the moment. Take a ten-minute break." He walks over to the bleachers and smiles up at Sasami. "You okay up there, Sami-cha’ya?" Sasami nods. "Uh huh, Uncle Tenchi!" She has taken to calling Tenchi and Kiyone her uncle and aunt on the occasions when she visits the school, since "Mommy" and "Daddy" would take too many explanations. Since Tenchi had taken the assistant coach position three weeks ago, he and Kiyone had almost never gotten home till around seven or eight at night (it would have been shorter, but Tenchi also had kendo club. To make thing more efficient, he would wear his kendo outfit to the volleyball practice). Consequently, Sasami had taken it upon herself to deliver a late dinner to them, and inevitably the other students would beg for some, and then Tenchi jokingly recommended that she start charging them, and soon the eleven-year-old princess had a thriving meal service. She opens the large basket--a micro-Guardian that can move itself, since otherwise it would be too heavy for her--and starts to rummage around inside when she feels a presence beside her. She looks up to see an immaculately groomed young man, with pale skin and death-black hair. She gives him her most dazzling smile, even as the look of...of...she doesn’t even want to know what that look means. "Hi!" A sweet bean paste cake is drawn from the basket. "Do you want one?" He scoots over next to her, and she suddenly realizes that his arms have slipped around her shoulders. "You’re cute," he says in a disturbing voice. "Uh, thank you..." manages Sasami, trying to inch away from this strange fellow. "Umm, why are you hugging me?" "So...very...cute..." he whispers, leaning down and brushing his lips across Sasami’s forehead. Now Sasami is trying to meter away from him. "Mister..." she gulps, you’re scari--" And then she realizes that his right hand has shifted position. It’s no longer on her shoulder. It’s on her right breast. She tips her head back and screams. The attention of everyone else in the gym is torn from whatever they were doing--and is riveted on the student fondling Sasami. Tenchi’s face goes from confusion to horror to rage in the blink of an eye. "Jinnai!" he roars. "What in the hell do you think you’re doing?" Katsuhiko Jinnai looks disconcerted. "What?" "What do you think you’re doing to my niece?" growls Tenchi, exhibiting a fury that no one in the school had though he possessed. Jinnai’s face still looks nonplussed, as if not sure what all the fuss is about. "What? She’s seventeen...isn’t she?" "She’s eleven," says Tenchi, his face and voice suddenly glacially calm. Katsuhiko Jinnai goes paler than anyone ever thought possible. Releasing Sasami’s budding young bosom, he stumbles across the bleachers and bolts out the door. Tenchi makes no move to follow him. Instead, he moves over to Sasami’s side. Kiyone is already hugging the girl, and he takes up a place on the other side and hugs her. "Are you all right, Sami-cha’ya?" Sasami is sniffling and redder-eyed than usual. "I...I think so, Daddy." She hugs him tighter. After a long moment, Tenchi gently pulls away and pats her on the shoulder. He takes Kiyone’s free hand. "Kiyone-yoni, take her home." He turns to Shoji, one of his kendo club cohorts. "Shoji, fetch me my bokken and school bag." "Sir?" "Do it." There is a cold authority in Tenchi’s voice. "Kaji--" as he turns to another fencer "--follow Jinnai, see where he goes." The second boy nods and scampers after the offender just as the first arrives with Kiyoneken and Tenchi’s school bag. "Thank you." He sips the wooden sword into a belt loop and opens his bag. Tenchiken goes into one of his tunic’s pockets. "Tenchi?" Tenchi turns back to his beloved. "Don’t worry, Kiyone, I’m not gonna do anything violent--too violent, that is." "Tenchi!" Kaji burst back into the gym, looking slightly winded. "Jinnai...he’s...headed...for...the...shinkansen*...station..." He collapses to the floor. "Alright. Thanks" Tenchi jerks a thumb at the unconscious boy, and several other fencers come up and carry him to the locker room. He gives Kiyone a quick hug. "Now, take Sasami home, and call my friend Keiichi--remember him?" Kiyone nods quickly. "Yes, he’s the one who’s married to a goddess, isn’t she?" Keiichi and Belldandy had had dinner at the Masaki house a week before (they had been in town visiting Kei’s folks). Tsunami and Tokimi had been present at the dinner, and the three goddesses had immediately recognized each other. They had spent the rest of the evening catching up on past events. "Brilliant as always, and yes," smiles Tenchi. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Kiyone feels herself blush. "Anyway, ask him--or Belldandy, if you get her--to have his Auto Club be waiting at the Shinjuku station. That’s my best guess as to where Jinnai’s headed." He turns to face the rest of his club, which has by now collected in the gym. "People, I’m sorry, but practice is cancelled today. I have to--" "What are you talking about, Mr. Vice-president?" interrupts Yoshi, a senior-year student who is just slightly taller than Tenchi. "Yeah, Tenchi-sempai," agrees Reiko, a red-haired junior who is one of the few girls in the club. "We all saw what that pervert did to your niece. We want to help you!" Tenchi sweeps the rest of the club with his gaze. "Do they speak for all of you?" As one, the entire Shinonome High School kendo club (save for the president, Naoki Miyazaki, who rarely comes to meetings--but he is still a slightly better swordsman than Tenchi, so he retains the presidency) nods. Tenchi sighs and smiles wryly. "Thanks." His beloved Kiyone-yoni shifts back to the center of his vision again. "My love, I must take leave of you..." "Shut up and kiss me," she mock-growls, as she steps forward, throws her arms around his neck, and presses her lips to his. The gym is filled with a profound silence, finally broken by the two lovers’ mouths separating with a quiet pop! Tenchi, ignoring the looks of amazement, gives Sasami a hug. "Don’t worry, darling, Mommy’s gonna take you home where you’ll be safe, okay?" She looks up at him and nods. Gently breaking away from her, Tenchi grips his bokken resolutely and strides quickly out the door. His clubmates, carrying their bokken or shinai*, follow quickly behind. In Mr. Fujisawa’s classroom, he and Miz are visiting with Shayla and Afura, who decided to visit Earth. Mr. Fujisawa is about to go to get some more tea when he sees Tenchi, in his kendo clothes, leading the rest of the club down the corridor. The sight is made disconcerting by the fact that each member is carrying a sword. He steps into their path. "Tenchi! Why aren’t you guys in the gym?" "We’re going after Jinnai," replies Tenchi grimly. "He tried to cop a feel on my niece." Shayla and Afura had come to the door just in time to hear this part. Afura recoils in horror while Shayla leans forward, murder in her eye. "That bastard did what?!" she spits. "You need some help tracking him?" Tenchi nods, recognizing her. Makoto and Nanami had told him about their "other lives," and privately he is beginning to wonder if there’s anyone at his school with a normal home life. "Sure, thanks." The doors of Shinonome High burst open, and Tenchi leads his patchwork army towards the bus stop. "All right, everyone. Make sure you have enough fare for the bus and the--" "I’m broke!" someone cries out. "Me too!" echoes another voice. Tenchi squelches an inward groan. Great. And just how are we supposed to catch-- "Hey, Tenchi!" A city bus squeals to a stop right in front of him, and the door flies open to reveal Kyoto in the driver’s seat. He grins down at Tenchi. "What are you waiting for? This charter’s going one way, and that’s after Katsuhiko Jinnai!" Too surprised to say no, Tenchi climbs on, followed by the rest of his followers. Dropping into the chair right behind the driver, he says, "Thanks a lot, Kyoto. You wouldn’t happen to--" "Have any yen? I sure would." Kyoto reaches underneath his seat with one hand while steering with the other and hands Tenchi a cigar box. Tenchi opens it to find ¥10,000,000 inside. After a few false starts, he manages, "Well, this takes care of the fare problem...could you swing back around to--" "Pick up Kiyone and Sasami? No sweat. Now, hang on!" Kyoto floors the accelerator, and the city bus leaps forward at a very unnatural rate of speed. The phone in the Morisato household rings. Belldandy, who has just finished the dishes, steps out of the kitchen and picks it up. "Hello, Morisato residence." "Belldandy? Hi, it’s Kiyone Masaki." Belldandy smiles. "Oh, hello, Kiyone! It’s so nice to hear from you!" "Thank you. Is Keiichi there--I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s kind of important." "Well, no, he--oh, here he is!" Belldandy smiles sweetly at her husband. "Kei, it’s Tenchi’s wife." "Thank you, Belle," he responds giving her a quick hug before taking the receiver. "Hello, Kiyone...yes, we’re all fine...what’s up?" As he listens, his brow starts to furrow and his eyes start to darken with anger. "That bastard did what?!" He takes a minute to recollect himself, then speaks again. "Yeah, sure, of course. We’ll be waiting. Pass my sympathies on to Sasami. Yes, I’ll say hi to Tenchi when I see him...no problem at all. Bye-bye." He sets down the receiver and sighs. "You remember that guy Tenchi and I knew in high school?" "You mean that Jinnai fellow?" asks Belldandy. "Right, him. Anyway, apparently today he tried to cop a feel on Sasami--" Belldandy gasps. "Oh, my!" "Exactly. He’s on the next shinkansen to Tokyo, at the Shinjuku station. Kiyone passed along word for me to have the Auto Club waiting for him. Tenchi and his crew will be on the same train, chasing him up and down the cars." Keiichi sighs, then grabs his windbreaker from the coat rack. "Belle, I’m going back to the college. It’ll be no problem to talk the Auto Club into this role. In spite of everything, they’re good people, and they would almost certainly help." "All right, Kei," answers Belldandy. "Is there anything you want me to do?" "No, Belle, I--wait, yeah, there is." He pulls an address book out from behind the phone and flips through it till he finds the number he was looking for. "Belle, could you--" "Call the Tendo Dojo? Of course." Belldandy leans up and kisses Keiichi on the cheek. "Be careful." "For your sake, always." Keiichi darts out the door, and Belldandy picks up the phone, a determined set to her delicate features. BRRING! BRRING! BRRI--"Hello, Tendo Dojo, this is Kasumi," answers a sweet, motherly voice. "Hello, Kasumi, it’s Belldandy Morisato." "Oh, hello, Belldandy!" There are times, Belldandy reflects, when this lady gives even my cheerfulness a run for its money. "What can I do for you?" "Is Ranma or Akane there?" "No, they’re over at Ukyo’s restaurant." "I hate to be a bother, but could you pass a message along for me?" "Oh, certainly, that’s no problem! What do you want me to tell them?" The phone at Ucchan’s rings. The pretty, brown-haired girl behind the grill with a giant spatula picks up the receiver. "Ucchan’s, this is Ukyo." She listens for a moment, then "Oh, hi, Kasumi. Yeah, he’s right here...just a moment..." She taps the shoulder of the dark-haired boy with a pigtail and a taste for Chinese-style garb. "Ranma, it’s for you." "Thanks, Ukyo." Ranma picks up the receiver. "H’lo, Kasumi, what’s up?" He listens for a moment, then frowns. "The Shinjuku station in an hour? Why?" As he listens, a look of horror crosses his face. "He did what?! Yeah, I’ll be there! Okay...Keiichi Morisa--say, does that mean that Tenchi Masaki’s involved?...Oh, I see...so he’ll be there too...yeah, okay. Thanks." He hands the receiver back to Ukyo. "Thanks for the snack, I gotta run." "What now?" sighs Akane. "You remember Tenchi Masaki?" "Of course." Two years ago, Tenchi Masaki had been his prefecture’s high school kendo champion, and had gone to the finals in Tokyo. There he had faced off against the best their school had to offer: Tatewaki Kuno. Tenchi had mopped the floor with him. Impressed by this, Ranma had taken the trouble to strike up a conversation with him, and then a friendship. Thus, whenever Tenchi visited Tokyo, he had two homes-away-from-home: the Tendo Dojo, and the Morisato house. "What about him?" "He’s headed to Tokyo with a bunch of his buddies. They’re chasing down some guy who tried to rape his eleven-year-old niece." He waits for the gasps of shock to dies down, then continues. "Keiichi Morisato and his Auto Club are already gathering at the Shinjuku station." He sighs. "From what Kasumi said, it sounds like he’s out for blood." Ukyo looks a little surprised. "Tenchi out for blood? That doesn’t sound like him." "No, it doesn’t," agrees Ranma. "But this niece of his...they’re really close. He and his fiancée--" Akane sucks in a disbelieving breath. "He’s engaged?! Last I checked, he barely look at a girl without getting a nosebleed!" "Well, last time Keiichi came over, he told me this," Ukyo concurs, "and I believe it. According to him, this girl has worked one hell of a change on Tenchi." She fixes Ranma with a wry expression. "Well, are we gonna stand here all day, or are we gonna go?" "We’re gonna go," answers Ranma, heading for the door. After a moment, Akane and Ukyo follow him, Ukyo hanging behind just long enough to hang a CLOSED sign on the door. As they step into the street, they bump into Ryoga, who’s looking at a map of Chicago. "Ah, excuse me, sir, could you--" Ranma yanks the map down. "You’re back in Nerima, Ryoga. Come on." He grabs Ryoga by the wrist and starts dragging him down the street. "Hey! Where are we going?" protests Ryoga. "We’re going to help Tenchi track down the guy who tried to rape his niece." Ryoga stops protesting. "Tenchi always gives me a place to stay when I end up in Okayama. Sure, I’ll help." Along the way to Shinjuku, the rest of the cast from Ranma 1/2 is gathered. The bullet train has barely pulled to a stop when Katsuhiko Jinnai is jumping out the door onto the platform. He is feeling extremely winded. Spending over an hour being chased up and down a train by two dozen angry people is hardly conducive to a healthy life. At least now I’m safe, he thinks. That is, until he sees the dozen or so unkempt-looking individuals standing right in front of him. In the front, however, is the most disturbing. Jinnai immediately recognizes him. "Morisato?" I’m dead. He and Tenchi and are the best of friends... Deciding not to wait for an answer--after all, Tenchi and company are disembarking right behind him--he takes off running. Tenchi and Keiichi yell "Get ‘im!", and their two groups surge forward. Everyone else in the train terminal parts like the Red Sea as the avengers charge into the street. Jinnai has just turned the corner and is leaning against the wall, heaving and panting. Suddenly he hears a voice ask "Katsuhiko Jinnai?" "Yeah," he answers automatically. "Get him!" He suddenly sees another group chasing after him. Yelping in fear, he bolts out into the crowd. For the next several hours, the would-be conqueror of El-Hazard is chased throughout Tokyo. Jinnai is running as fast as he can, as would I if I was chased by twenty angry high school kendo enthusiasts, three element-wielding priestesses, a high school teacher with superhuman strength, a college motor club, and a group of marital artists who make Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee look like bumbling amateurs. None of them are as frightening, however, as the young man in the lead, the one wielding the bokken as if an extension of his own body. The chase finally ends in front of the Tendo dojo. Jinnai is slumped against the wall, his shirt and tie plastered to his skin by sweat, the jacket long since discarded. He is also somewhat bruised. Tenchi’s bokken has connected on more than one occasion with his body. Tenchi is in the lead as they close in on him. The look in his eyes is one of cold fury. Jinnai sees the sweep of the bokken long before it connects. A howl of pain flies from his lips as he falls to the ground. Tenchi is glaring down at him. "Damn you." His right foot flies out, catching Jinnai in the gut. He moans in pain. Tenchi repeats the process several times, each time eliciting the same response. As he does this, the rest of the group starts to get worried. They never suspected that Tenchi might have a sadistic side... Keiichi and Ranma step up on either side of Tenchi, concerned looks on their faces. Keiichi is the first to speak. "Ten--" The wind is suddenly knocked out of him as he feels something slamming into his chest. He looks down to see...Tenchi’s bokken. "Huh?" "Kei, hold that," says Tenchi coldly. He steps forward, still glowering down at Jinnai, and reaches into the folds of his tunic. Out comes Tenchiken. As the blue-white blade snaps into being, Tenchi’s ragtag army backs away, looks of fear on their faces. Tenchi raises the blade high over his head, making several practice arcs. Finally, he brings the blade back, preparing for the final cut. He looks down at Jinnai one last time... And stops. Instead of seeing Jinnai cowering on the ground, he sees Sasami, kneeling before him, looking up at him with pleading eyes. Please, Daddy, don’t do this, he hears her voice pleading. Don’t hurt him, not for my sake... It occurs to Tenchi that, if he killed Jinnai, Sasami would blame herself for his death. Angry as he is with this man, he could not bear to put such guilt, however unwarranted, on his Sami-cha’ya’s shoulders. Jinnai has his eyes closed, waiting for the blade to cleave him lengthwise. He hears a crackle-hiss, tenses, and--he opens his eyes to see that Tenchi has extinguished his blade. Tenchi shoves Tenchiken back into his tunic, leans down, and roughly pulls Jinnai to his feet. "Wake up, you." Jinnai’s expression is filled with relief and confusion. Tenchi is still glaring at him, but no longer with as murderous an attitude. "Now, what should we do with you?" "Hey, Tenchi!" Tenchi turns to look at Ranma, who has a strange smile on his face. "I’ve got an idea..." An hour later, Tenchi and Ranma are standing back and inspecting their handiwork. Tenchi is laughing. "And it’s good!" He and Ranma exchange a high-five as everyone else is laughing. Standing before them, in the main dining room at Ucchan’s, is Katsuhiko Jinnai...dressed in one of Shampoo’s chong-sams*--a nice pink one--and wearing makeup and a geisha’s wig. Ootaki, this blond-mohawked guy form Keiichi’s Auto Club, picks up Jinnai and throws him over one shoulder. "I’m gonna drop this guy off downtown--in the red district." Laughter ripples around the room. "Just remember, Ootaki," yells Keiichi, "that’s a guy under the dress!" More laughter. Ukyo emerges from behind the counter. "Food--on the house!" she announces. And she gestures at the plattersful of okonomiyaki on the counter. "Party time!" calls out Ranma, and the laughter is replaced by cheering. "Our top story this morning, an Okayama high school student was arrested for cross-dressing in the ‘red-light’ district of downtown Tokyo." The reporter’s face is briefly replaced by that of Katsuhiko Jinnai, still in drag and holding up a number sign. "Identified as Katsuhiko Jinnai, the young man claims that students from his high school dragged him to Tokyo and--" Tenchi grabs the remote from Ayeka and changes the channel. "Let’s see if there’s something else on." "You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that news story, would you, Tenchi?" asks Nobuyuki dryly. Tenchi shakes his head innocently. The two men understand each other. Kiyone smiles at her husband. "Well, Tenchi-yon, it was very gallant of you to chase him all the way to Tokyo." She leans over and kisses his cheek. Sasami nods in agreement. "Thank you for doing that for me, Daddy." She kisses Tenchi’s other cheek. However, things are not meant to be peaceful for very long. The first part of the day passes rather peacefully, if one can ignore Nanami laughing about her brother not being able to sit down for a week. That changes as Kiyone is doing stretching exercises for volleyball practice (all right, boys, think with me now: "Kiyone in a volleyball uniform...mmmm..."). She has just stood up from her toe-touches when she felt a warm, male body pressing against her, and a pair of hands gently resting on each thigh. Grinning, thinking that it’s her Tenchi-yon, she starts to rub herself back against him. That’s when she hears the voice say, "I like a girl who’s a fast mover." That’s not Tenchi’s voice... She whips around and out of his hands, and takes a good look at this man. He is tall, taller than Tenchi, and more muscular. His hair is shaggy and dark-brown, and his skin is slightly paler than Jinnai’s. His kendo clothing, baggy though it is, does little to hide his magnificent physique, the kind built for high school girls to sigh and giggle over. It’s not doing a damned thing for Kiyone. "Who the hell are you?" The man smiles and bows. "Oh, where are my manners? Naoki Miyazaki, vice-president of the Student Council, president of the kendo club, at your service." Kiyone smiles politely, resisting the urge to wipe that smug grin off his face. "Kiyone Makibi." "Ah. Kiyone Makibi." The voice is smooth--More like slick as oil, thinks Kiyone. "You are a very beautiful girl. Might I have the honor of your company to the party Yoshiko is hosting Saturday night?" When hell freezes, you-- "I’m sorry," replies Kiyone sweetly. "You see, I’m already seeing someone, and we’re quite serious. In fact, we’re engaged to be married." "Oh?" Naoki has a disbelieving expression on his face. "And who might this be?" "Tenchi Masaki," answers Kiyone proudly. Naoki sniffs, obviously unimpressed. "Tenchi Masaki? That...unworthy fellow? He is a fool." "Vice-president of the kendo club, chief senior-class delegate to the Student Council, the Japanese equivalent of a 3.5 GPA...he’s hardly a fool," shoots back Kiyone. Naoki smirks. "Tenchi Masaki...I spoke too harshly. He is a good swordsman, and a good leader. But he is hardly worthy of such magnificence as yours." Five minutes. Just five minutes alone with him and my blaster--"Regardless of what you think, I love Tenchi and he loves me." She looks Naoki up and down. "You shouldn’t have any trouble getting dates, so don’t pick up on other guy’s girlfriends." She sees Tenchi enter the room, and a smile blossoms on her face. He runs up to her and picks her up in his arms. Naoki smirks as he watches this. "Very un-Japanese, Masaki," he mutters under his breath. "No matter, I shall win this Kiyone away from that pompous fool, Tenchi, without even breaking a sweat." The events of the next few weeks prove him wrong. Every attempt Naoki makes to sway Kiyone away from Tenchi fails utterly. Naoki cannot fathom why she is so devoted to him. Everyone else can, however: the two of them are in love. Big time. Finally, his lust for the forbidden fruit turns to a bad case of "sour grapes." Consequently, rumors start wafting through the halls of Shinonome High. Rumors about Kiyone being... inexpensive. Most students disregard these rumors, believing in the depth of Kiyone and Tenchi's mutual devotion. Some of the more hormonally driven and less intelligent students, however, take them seriously. These students start making a practice of deliberately passing by Kiyone when she's bending over or in gym clothes and "copping-a-feel." These students quickly learned that Kiyone is well versed in hand-to-hand combat. When Tenchi found out about these incidents he was incensed, and could be seen chasing students up and down the hall, swinging his bokken and screaming curses at them in some unknown language. Kiyone, of course, knows that he was cursing in Juraian, but she can't tell any of the other students that. Events finally come to a head one day at lunch. Tenchi and Kiyone are seated at her desk, facing each other with dreamy-looks in their eyes as they consume their food. Next to them, their friends are giving them a little good-natured ribbing. Kiyone is laughing at a joke that Nanami had told when their desk is over-shadowed by a tall figure. The two lovers and their companions look up to see Naoki, a look of absolute disgust painted across his features. "So, Masaki," he sneers, "How much has she cost you this month? I hear that her type charge rather exorbitant fees." "I don't like the tone of your voice, Miyazaki," says Tenchi, his voice riddled with icy irritation. Naoki shakes his head in a mock-pitying gesture. "Poor, poor Masaki. Can't even get a Japanese girl, so he has to settle for this gaijin slut." The other students, hearing Naoki's rather loud proclamations, start to back away from the center of conflict. Fujisawa and Miz look up from their tempura lunch, looks of worry starting to cross their faces. "Naoki, I would appreciate it if you would refrain from insulting Kiyone." Tenchi says this in an almost calm voice. He slowly reaches underneath his desk and brings up his bokken. He sets it on the desk with a loud thump. This scares the heck out of everyone in the room. Everyone, except Kiyone, who is slowly reaching for her school bag, where she has Reiken safely tucked. "Ahh-hah-hah-ah! Going to strike me with your little wooden sword, Tenchi Masaki? Let me show you a real sword!" Narrowing his eyes slightly and raising his right hand above his head, Naoki concentrates his mind. After a moment, a ball of green-white energy appears in his right hand. He squeezes his hand shut around it, and it elongates into a broadsword of energy--identical to Kyoto's. Tenchi looks up in shock --and he realizes where he has seen it before. "Impossible," he whispers, "so you must be..." "Three centuries back, our family name was... Minamoto!" Naoki levels the sword, pointing the blade at Tenchi. "Come, let us go some place more... secluded." Tenchi barks a harsh laugh and stands up. He holds out his right hand and a ball of blue energy appears in it. It flashes, and Tenchi is holding a long, curved katana of blue Jurai energy. "Ah, so I was right in my assumptions! The blood of Jurai does flow through your veins! Come, I shall test you!" Naoki does a small hop and he teleports off, followed by Tenchi a second later. Kiyone, a determined look on her face, throws open the flap on her book bag and pulls out Reiken. She holds it out in front of her, and the teal blade materializes above the projecting end. "Hang on, Tenchi-yon!! I'm coming!!" She sprints out the door. Meanwhile, far atop the vacant roof of the gym, the forms of two individuals manifest. Tenchi is blinking and looking around. He looks at Naoki, who's still glaring at him. Naoki's attire has converted to a combat outfit similar to Kyoto's, his cheeks streaked with red war paint, and black cross slashes under his eyes. Narrowing his eyes, Tenchi reappears in his own Juraian combat outfit. Naoki smirks, and releases a semi-maniacal laugh. "Let's see how good your noble blood is to you when it is no longer inside your body!!" Roaring a fierce war cry, he charges at Tenchi. Tenchi barely manages to step out of the way in time. "Why are you doing this?!" he yells. "The Jurai will die!" yells Naoki bringing his sword around again for Tenchi. Tenchi brings his up and blocks Naoki's with it. Tenchi almost loses his grip on his sword at the force of impact. Oh shit, he has his ancestor's strength as well... Tenchi spins himself to the side, panting heavily. "You still haven't answered my question, Naoki! Why are you doing this?!" "The mother of our family vowed on her husband's grave that she would take revenge on the Juraian who ended her beloved's life! Our family has continued this vow to destroy the Jurai at any cost!" Tenchi is tempted to tell him that his "dead ancestor" is still much alive. However, he thinks that it will just do more harm right now. "Naoki, don't do this!!" "Silence, swine, you shall not escape me!" Naoki sends a pair of energy bolts at Tenchi. Acting on instinct, Tenchi knocks them from the air with his sword. "Not bad at all, Masaki, but I will have my revenge!" Naoki lands on the roof across from Tenchi. He then holds his blade out in front of him, as if assuming a fighting pose. A second later, small bolts of greenish-white energy begin to funnel in towards a point in front of the extended sword. Within seconds, there is a small ball of green energy floating in front of them. Grinning, Naoki lifts his blade in the air above his head and the ball of energy transmogrifies into a large, mythical dragon. As he brings the blade arcing back down, he cries, "Go now!!" The dragon leaps forward and aims itself at Tenchi. Tenchi leaps into the air just a second before the dragon impacts with the spot in which he had been standing. The dragon crashes through the roof and comes racing back out the gym a second later through a wall, giving Tenchi as chance to land on the far roof of the main school building. Intent on its purpose, the dragon continues to crash through the building as it attempts to hit its target. The resulting impacts of the dragon causes heavy damage to the high school itself and buries several students under mountains of shattered concrete and metal. Having thoroughly demolished the top floor of Shinonome High, the dragon arcs through the air and comes to hover above Naoki's head. "The Dragon Sword, my family's trademark attack! This was only a small sampling of its power, now, let me give you a true demonstration!" He is about to order his dragon to attack once more; however, this action never takes place for a split second before he is about to send his dragon at Tenchi again, a teal blade of energy comes spinning through the air and neatly removes Naoki's right hand. The impact of this sudden attack is enough to send Naoki toppling off the roof and his dragon back to the chaotic energies that it had come from. Surprised by his rescuer's sudden move, Tenchi glances around to find... Kiyone! She is on the school volleyball court, clad in her Juraian combat attire. Reiken neatly sails back into her hands and the blade extinguishes. She then turns her gaze up to Tenchi. How'd I do, Tenchi-yon? Did daddy's little girl make her daddy proud? Tenchi moans to himself slightly at the last part of this. Yes you did, Kiyone-yoni, but please don't talk like that right now! We still have Naoki to deal with-- "Yes," rumbles Naoki's voice, "you still have me to deal with." A second later, a large beam of green energy crashes into Kiyone and sends her smashing through several layers of reinforced concrete wall. She then slumps to the ground, unconscious. Tenchi looks down, rage burning in his eyes to see Naoki standing by the side of the gym, energy wafting off of his person. He grins maliciously up at Tenchi as second before he releases a similar beam of energy at him. Tenchi leaps out of the way a second before the beam immolates the spot that he had been. He soon finds himself in a precarious pirouette around the innumerable blasts of energy being directed at him. He is about to sigh in relief when he sees Naoki charging him with is sword. Tenchi sidesteps Naoki's main blow; however, he still does not escape without injury. Naoki manages to slash him across the arm. Tenchi soon finds himself being slashed across the body from all directions. Naoki moving too fast for him to strike at. Surrounded in pain and confusion he desperately opens his mind and hears.... Kiyone's voice. It's weak and dripping with pain, but very determined. Tenchi-yon, you must concentrate. I can see Naoki even as he teleports at high speed around you... listen, my Tenchi, you mustn't strike at just any of him-- she stops for a moment to hack up a small quantity of blood --wait until he is above you, my Tenchi-yon, you must wait... wait... wait... Her voice slowly fades away, leaving Tenchi once more in his envelope of pain and confusion. However, while the world around him is bathed in chaos, his mind is ever so concentrated. He has his sword lit and in front of him, each of his muscles tensing, his ears and heart straining to track his evasive adversary, waiting... waiting... waiting... "Aagghh!!!" Naoki howls as Tenchi's blade pierces through his chest and out his back, splattering Naoki's blood all over both the surrounding area and staining Tenchi's khaki and navy garments. As Naoki's body slumps into unconsciousness, Tenchi slowly lowers his sword to the ground and drops Naoki's body. He lets the blade extinguish and his attire revert to his normal school clothes before making his way over to Kiyone. She is slumped against the dented concrete wall, her body puddled like a sack of clothes. It is not her unconsciousness that worries Tenchi, but the large pool of blood around her. Tears welling in his eyes, he kneels down beside her and takes his limp body in his arms and begins to sob into her bosom. He is sure that she is dead-- until he feels one of her hands slowly wrap around the back of his neck. "Oh... my... Tenchi-yon, you... were... so... brave, thank...you... for... protecting... me...." Her body goes limp once more. Tears streaming down his eyes, Tenchi turns to the group of on-lookers that are starting to gather around them and Naoki. "Don't just stand there!" he barks. "Call an ambulance!" * * * The next six hours finds Tenchi nervously pacing back and forth in the Okayama hospital's waiting room. Kiyone has been in the emergency room for a majority of this time and for a large portion of it, the doctors were unsure that she was going to make it. Tenchi looks half inebriated, disheveled, and extremely nervous. He has drunken the better part of a bottle of Daiginjo saké and can barely stay on his feet. He is about to throw it all to the wind and burst right into the operating room to find out what is going on, when one of the doctors, a very large smile on his face, walks out of the swinging doors leading to the ER. "She's going to make it," he says in a jolly, heartwarming voice. Tenchi almost melts into a puddle right then and there. The doctor has to hold him up in order to tell him the rest of the news. "Your...friend...is recovering in one of the upstairs wards, he'll be out for a while. Whatever cut through him from that explosion must have been red hot, because that hole in him looked like it had been made with a laser or something... Miss Makibi should be strong enough to see you tomorrow, so my suggestion is to go home with your father and get some rest. There's nothing more that you can really do here now, anyway." "Thank you, Doctor. Make sure that she makes it through the night, I want my wif--uh, I mean, fiancée to be here when I come back." The doctor catches Tenchi's stumble in his speech, but figures that since the two of them are engaged, it's merely exhaustion mingled with relief. Katsuhito is a friend of his and told him about it all one day when the two of them were out at the driving range. If his wife had pulled through after something like this, he'd feel more than a little wobbly himself. Tenchi pumps the doctor’s hand once more and then walks out of the building. He meets up with his father in the parking lot and the two of them drive home in relative silence. When Tenchi walks into his house, he finds Kyoto setting up the table for a late dinner and Ryoko busy working in the kitchen. This is something very unlike Ryoko. "Oh, Tenchi!! You're home earlier than I expected! Don't worry, we'll have dinner ready in a second!" says Kyoto as he finishes setting the table. Dinner is rather quiet, seeing that it is only the four of them, the others having made themselves dinner earlier and long since gone to bed, and most of it is in silence. It is towards the end of dinner when Tenchi finally finds the energy to speak. "So, Kyoto, it seems I've found one your relatives. Tell me, exactly when did you start that family?" Tenchi's question catches Kyoto halfway into slurping up a mouthful of noodles and, and the subject of questioning ends up having to choke down the rest before responding. Finally, he manages one word: "Huh?" "Ever heard of a kid called Naoki Miyazaki?" Kyoto thinks for a minute, then his eyes go wide as he realizes. "Oh, my..." "Yes, oh my," replies Tenchi. For all his powers and skills, he still has a hard time hiding his anger. "That son of a bitch--" "His mother was never a bitch," interrupts Kyoto. "All right then, that...hothead...attacked me today, tried to kill me. Instead, he almost killed Kiyone. She’s at the hospital right now." Ryoko gasps. "She’s at the hospital? I thought she was...well, I have no idea where she would have been, but..." "She’ll be all right, but she has to stay overnight." "And Naoki?" Tenchi sighs. "He’s still alive. But if Kiyone were dead..." The cold look in his eyes tells everyone that, had Mrs. Masaki passed on that day, Naoki Miyazaki would have quickly followed. (Come to think of it, Tenchi probably would have, too.) After struggling for a moment to get his emotions under control, Tenchi faces Kyoto with a noncommittal look that an actor could not have bettered. "So?" "Well, Tenchi, seeing as this is inadvertently my fault, I'll tell you. I married Aki Yoshiboto in the year 1643. We were a happily married couple for 17 years before a Juraian scout ship discovered me. One of their agents attacked in the night. In order to keep from arousing suspicion as to what I really was --the people in those times would have thought that I was a kappa and consequentially killed any relations of mine-- so, I played the part of a mortal and died. For 156 years after that Jurai thought that I was dead, that was until one fine day I came and destroyed both of the twin star cities on the southern continent in relation for what they did that evening--but I digress. I had no idea that my wife would swear an oath to kill every Juraian, no matter how long it took and what was the cost. Apparently, that ." Tenchi takes a minute to take a sip from his tea. "That still doesn't explain how Naoki inherited your powers! Do all of your descendants have your abilities?" "Naoki was a select case. It was only with Aki that I remained in my true form, hence why all of our children inherited my powers, because my actual DNA contains the elements required to generate those abilities. For some reason, though, the ability to transmogrify never seems to transfer. I still fail to understand exactly why that strand in my DNA code does not transfer with the others when I have... well, I think you know." "What still confuses me, Kyoto, is that he said his family name was Minamoto. How could that be possible? Traditionally in Japan, the man takes on the wife's last name, not vice-versa." "That's pretty easy to explain, Tenchi. In those times the wife took on the husbands' last name because the family wanted to gain power generally when they had their daughters marry. That's the only reason my name has carried through the generations." "So why did she change it?" asks Nobuyuki as he helps himself to another fish patty. "Probably to keep the Galaxy Police or Jurai from finding them," answers Kyoto. "If they knew that I had a family, they would have questioned them, maybe even arrested them." The phone rings. Tenchi is across the room and has the receiver in hand before the first ring ends. "Hello, Masaki residence..." His face lights up in a smile. "Kiyone-yoni! You’re awake!" After listening for a moment, he blushes. "Kiyone-yoni, maybe you shouldn’t be...ahhh...ummm..." He stands still for a moment, then heads upstairs, the receiver still pressed against his ear. As he leaves earshot, he can be heard to say, "So, now what does Daddy’s girl want to do?" Kyoto sighs. "Sounds like everything’s gonna be back to normal." Kiyone spends another couple of nights in the hospital. Since the details surrounding her and Naoki’s admittance qualify as "extenuating circumstances," Tenchi receives permission to spend his time at the hospital. He and Sasami stay way past visiting hours, and Kiyone finds herself entertaining many other visitors, besides. Naoki receives a few, as well. First, the kendo club, to inform him that they have replaced him with Tenchi, and have ejected him from the club altogether. Second, the principal, who tells him not to hurry his recovery--he’s expelled. To assuage his ego, the harem of adorers he maintains stops by every day to give him gifts--while on their way to giggle and sigh with Kiyone. The minute Tenchi carries Kiyone through the door of the house (he had insisted on it), he takes her to Washu’s lab, to make sure she’s all right. The doctor’s verdict: "She’s just fine!" The former GP then gets carried up to her and Tenchi’s room, where she is the recipient of a full-body massage. Sasami’s verdict: "They’re being naughty!" Kiyone’s speedy recovery enables her to reclaim her place on the volleyball team, and she leads her team through the finals and to the championship game with ease. The victory party back in Okayama is big and noisy--which is okay, considering that it takes place at the Masaki house. The karaoke machine is brought back to life, and is kept going all night. Tenchi and Makoto christen it in with their take on Tetsuya Iwanaga’s "The Adventure," which is followed by Nanami and her interpretation of Rio Natsuki’s "Zeni No Hana," which is followed by Miz with Saeko Shimazu’s "Yama No Ana," and then by Ifurita and her rendition of Yuri Amano’s "Chiisana Hana," and it goes on and on and on... Near the end of the party (four-thirty a.m.), Kiyone and Mihoshi, who have been on-and-off monopolizing the karaoke machine, take the makeshift stage one last time, for their signature song, "Sleeping Beauty on the Balcony": I float and sway, as I sail on This slumberland, caressed in the sun Forget the things to do and sit on the balcony It’s nice and warm, it’s all right The cat beside me is dozing off Oh, prince, don’t you kiss me, oh no not yet, oooh yeah I float, I sway, in my sleep Over this slumberland, you know, the happiness lies You see, you should never disturb The happy princess in slumber on the balcony I float and sway, as I doze off Caressed in the sun, so gentle and warm Forget all your worries, sleep on the balcony It’s nice and warm, it’s all right The cat beside me is fast asleep I’m now the happiest princess Lost in the wonderland, oh yeah I float and sway in my dreams Happy is the world of slumber, yeah You see, you should never disturb ‘Cause I’m a princess in slumber on the balcony I float and sway as I go The road of happy slumber, yeah All I want is to keep dreaming on ‘Cause I’m a princess in slumber on the balcony... Amid the laughter and cheers, and even the big kiss and hug that she receives from her Tenchi, Kiyone does not notices the thoughtful look in her husband’s eye. Washu and Nobuyuki, however, do later. Tenchi has carried Kiyone up to bed and come back downstairs, promising her that he’ll be up soon. Once down, he faces his father and Washu. "I need to ask you two for a favor." "Go ahead," says Nobuyuki. "What do you need?" inquires Washu. "Dad, you used to be pretty good with a piano." "Well, yes, I did," admits Nobuyuki. "But I haven’t touched one since..." He leaves the sentence hanging. "And Washu. As a genius, I assume that you can play at least one instrument." "Yes. Why?" "I need you two to help me write a song for our wedding...for Kiyone." Both Nobuyuki and Washu look a little surprised. Finally, Nobuyuki asks, "Why?" "As the emperor of Jurai, I can give her anything. But...it’s just money, just things. This would be from the heart." Tenchi looks a little embarrassed at having to admit this, but he presses on. "Please?" Nobuyuki and Washu immediately nod. After watching Tenchi disappear into Washu’s lab every night after dinner for a couple weeks, Kiyone starts to wonder what’s going on. So, one night when Tenchi is upstairs reading, she walks into the lab, to find Washu and Nobuyuki looking over a sheaf of papers with lyrics and musical notes on them. "You know, Nobuyuki, you’re excellent with that piano," comments Washu. "I can’t understand why you didn’t pursue a career in music." Nobuyuki blushes a little. "Thanks. It was just a hobby, though. I haven’t touched a keyboard since Achika..." He closes his eyes for a moment, then starts speaking in forced joviality. "Well, it appears that Tenchi has developed some skill in wordsmithing. These lyrics..." He holds up the sheet. "...they’re excellent. His mother could have been a writer if..." Once again he lapses into silence. "Anyway, you...I know this’ll sound silly, seeing as you are a genius, but you’re really good with that--" He suddenly notices Kiyone standing behind them. "Kiyone!" Kiyone has an amused--and relieved--expression on her face. "So this is what Tenchi’s been doing in here these past few weeks!" Nobuyuki’s blush fades and is replaced by a proud grin. "This is your wedding present!" He holds the sheaf of papers up to Kiyone. "Tenchi asked us to help him write a song for your wedding!" Kiyone’s amused expression quickly becomes one of sentimentality. "Ohhh...how sweet!" An idea forms in the back of her head. After all, all princesses have some skill in music... "Dad, Washu, could you help me do the same?" And so the last weeks of Tenchi Masaki’s last year of high school pass quickly. For about a month, the only real worry is the various offworld media organizations that seem to keep descending on the Masaki house. Be it a distinguished news organization like Galaxy News Network, or a trash rag like The Galactic Interrogator, all of them descend on Okayama like vultures on a fresh carcass. Allow a typical interview: 6:30 a.m.: A ship from The Jurai Times lands in the lake. Tenchi and Kiyone, grumbling, come out of the house, swords in hand, ready to kill, but they find that it’s just the press. Grumbling even louder, they stumble back into the house. 7:15 a.m.: The reporters and camera crew are finally let into the house after pounding on the door for 45 minutes. Tenchi lays out the ground rules: interview time after school, and no sneaking into the school to get quotes or comments from other students. Most news crews agree to this rule; the ones that do not are held in a stasis bubble until Tenchi and Kiyone return from school. 11:30 a.m.: The "well-behaved" news crews send at least one member over to the school to try to get the scoop. The directions provided to them by Kyoto, however, always lead through the girls’ locker room. The hapless reporter ends up being chased out of the building by a dozen angry girls. 5:30 p.m.: Tenchi and Kiyone return from school. The interview is given, interrupted halfway through by dinner, and then finished after dinner. 9:30: The news crew leaves. Finally, the last week of Tenchi’s senior year arrives. It gets off to rather unauspicious start Sunday night. Tenchi and Kiyone are walking in an Okayama park on Sunday night, neither one noticing how much they look like Nobuyuki and Achika of a quarter-century past. As they cut through the center of the park, headed for the bus stop, they come across a small playground with a swing set. Kiyone releases a childlike giggle of delight and immediately rushes towards them. Tenchi follows close behind, the smile of a doting father on his face. Kiyone seats herself in the first swing and starts to push herself back and forth, laughing delight as the swaying motion takes hold. Tenchi steps up behind her and, placing his hands on her upper back, gives her a gentle push. They spend the next hour doing this, luxuriating in the bliss of setting aside adult worries. That peace is shattered around one a.m. Tenchi is jolted out of a dream about being a Valkyrie pilot on the Macross by feeling his pajama pants being tugged down. He groggily opens his eyes and sees Kiyone pushing his pants down and starting to do the same with his boxers. "K-K-Kiyone-yoni?" he manages. It’s only a moment later that he realizes that she’s naked. Oh god. Tenchi knows Kiyone’s body quite well, has seen it scantily clad and completely nude on many occasions. And, he has to admit, their period of "official engagement" has not been entirely celibate. At least several times a day she demonstrates physical affection (beyond mere hugging and kissing) that radiates love, longing, or pure lust. She is not radiating any of those things right now. In fact, Tenchi is reading...franticness. Kiyone has now pulled down his boxers and is holding him in her hands. She starts to rub gently, and Tenchi feels a moan of pleasure escape his lips. Kiyone starts to run her thumb over his tip, and it’s all Tenchi can do to keep himself from losing control--all over her hands. With a tremendous effort of will, he slowly moves her hands away from him and clasps her gently but firmly. He smiles reassuringly at her and asks, What’s up, Kiyone-yoni? Daddy...I need you... She pushes him down on the bed and starts to kiss him. Tenchi’s self-control is faltering, but he manages to push himself upright. Kiyone looks at him, a hurt expression on her face. What’s wrong, Tenchi-yon? She tries to nuzzle him. Don’t I turn my daddy on anymore? She is trying to radiate a seductive air, but Tenchi can sense the tears running down her cheeks. Taking care not to rub together any parts that might dissolve his willpower completely, he takes his wife in his arms and hugs her tight. Abruptly, Kiyone buries her face in his shoulder and starts sobbing. It’s okay, Kiyone-yoni, I’m here, I’m not gonna leave, he soothes. What happened? Can I do anything to help? Tenchi-yon, she sniffles, her tears carrying over into her mental voice, I...I dreamed that you hated me. Tenchi is visibly shocked, and he hugs Kiyone closer to him. Darling, I could never hate you, you know that. I know, Tenchi-yon, I know, she answers. B-b-but it was so real... Kiyone’s tears, both physical and mental, are starting to subside now, and her mental voice is clearer, stronger. In this dream, you were married to... Who was I married to? Tenchi presses gently. Ayeka. Kiyone looks up a moment later to see her husband laughing--quietly, so as not to wake up the rest of the Masaki house, but laughing nonetheless. Feeling somewhat confused, she asks aloud, "What’s so funny, Tenchi-yon?" "Me...marry Ayeka?!" The grin on his face is infectious, and Kiyone finds herself smiling too. "I guess it is rather funny." Tenchi’s chuckling dies down, and he looks tenderly at Kiyone. "Kiyone-yoni, you know I could never want anyone else." He gently strokes the back of her neck. "My guardian angel, the one who keeps me sane." "I know, Tenchi," she whispers. She then notes that something is rubbing against her. She looks down and her eyes brighten. Does daddy wanna play with his little girl? It sure looks like he wants to... Tenchi realizes something, looks down--Ohmigod. He quickly starts fumbling for the sheets, and Kiyone laughs softly. "Sorry...daddy." Tenchi snorts. Just you wait another week, Kiyone-yoni. I know. Tenchi-yon, she agrees as she pulls her panties back on. She is trying to ignore Tenchi replacing his boxers. I’m gonna make sure my daddy doesn’t get any sleep for a year! And I look forward to it, he laughs. He lies back down, and she snuggles up to him. In spite of the happy note, she can’t get back to sleep right away, but he happily sweet-talks her until exhaustion takes over. "Tenchi-yon! Tenchi-yon, wake up!" Tenchi feels Kiyone shaking him, and he reluctantly opens his eyes. He smiles up at her. "Morning, Kiyone-yoni." A quick flip, and he’s lying on top of his wife, whose incredible body is encased in just a pair of panties. "Does my little girl wanna play a little with daddy?" Kiyone groans, trying to ignore her self-control going south. "Mmmm...that sounds good, daddy, but we have to go!" Tenchi’s brow wrinkles, and he slowly rolls off of her. "Okay, what time is it?" "7:45." "Oh my god!" Tenchi is out the door before Kiyone can say anything else. He’s back in their room before a minute has passed, his face red. Standing next to him is Sasami, adorable yet again in carrot pajamas. She has a teasing expression on her face. "Mommy, why are you and Daddy still in your underwear?" "We overslept," answers Kiyone, pulling on her pajama shorts. After looking for a moment, she finds Tenchi’s bathrobe and throws it at him. They rush out of their room, headed for the bathroom. In the end, they are only a half-hour late, but they receive a lot of razzing nonetheless. One of Tenchi’s friends, a clown-faced boy named Kenji, makes the mistake of asking if Tenchi was busy getting some. He finds himself pressed up against the wall, Tenchi’s bokken pressing uncomfortably against his Adam’s apple. "Got any other brilliant questions, bright boy?" he growls. The other students start to back away. They have never known Tenchi to initiate a fight before, although he has proven himself very capable of ending one. Still, they should have guessed that Tenchi would be just a little touchy if someone said anything about his Kiyone... Speaking of whom, she comes up and places a hand on her husband’s shoulder. "Ten-chan," she says mildly, "calm down..." And all at once, Tenchi’s normal, easygoing persona reasserts itself. "Ohhh..." He smiles at his beloved. "Thank you, Kiyo-chan." During the rest of the day, and into the evening, he watches his wife very closely. She seems to be completely recovered from the incident early that morning, but it bothers him. He had always known that there was a side to the strong young lady that was as fragile as a China doll, and that needed constant reassurances of love and affection, and was more than willing to give the same. He’s okay with that. But he still wants to do something to demonstrate how much he loves her. While practicing with Grandpa (by now, he can easily defeat the old prince without even keeping his mind on what he’s doing), it hits him (no, not Katsuhito’s sword, you idiots!) "I’ll make her dinner!" he announces triumphantly, flinging his arms back and accidentally (or was it?) knocking Katsuhito to the ground. Realizing what he’s done, he spins around and pulls his grandfather to his feet. "Sorry, Grandpa, just thinking out loud." "It’s all right," replies Katsuhito. He eyes his grandson carefully. "Were you even trying today, Tenchi?" Tenchi has the good grace to looks sheepish. "Sorry, Grandpa, my thoughts were..." "I see," mutters Katsuhito. "And you still manage to beat me." He shrugs. "You have surpassed me far faster and by a much greater margin than I thought possible, Tenchi." "Thanks, Grandpa. Listen, could you and Dad help--" Katsuhito holds up his hands. "Already done. We’ll have everyone out of the house on--what night?" "Wednesday would be perfect." "Wednesday it is." And yet, as one might expect, nothing goes as planned. Originally, Sasami and Tenchi had prepared dinner Tuesday afternoon while Mihoshi, Ryoko, and Mitsuki took Kiyone out to the Quad-Cluster Shopping Center at Altair. Unfortunately, Washu had come out of her lab, and, finding the elegant traditional Japanese meal wrapped in foil in the fridge, and not having had anything to eat for twelve hours straight, disposes of it straightaway. (On the plus side, Kiyone did come back with a lot of skimpy panties and lingerie for their honeymoon.) Naturally, Tenchi and Sasami are not pleased. Since Sasami will be going out with everyone else that night--and thus cannot stay behind to play cook for her parents, much as she wants to--she leaves behind the recipes in Tenchi’s hands, who she knows can cook. So far, so good. Problem number two: Tuesday night, Tenchi had purchased Kiyone’s favorite brand of saké, Daiginjo. Two bottles, in fact. Not that he had planned on the two of them getting blitzed, or one getting her drunk and having his way with her--one thing their sex life has never needed was stimulation by alcohol--but he wanted to make this night special. Naturally, in the morning he finds both bottles missing from the cabinet he’d stowed them in. "I know where they went," he mutters as he storms up the stairs and bangs open his father’s bedroom. Sure enough, the two expensive bottles of rice wine lie empty on the floor, and his dad is sprawled across the bed, still dressed, a thin trickle of drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth. If it had not been for Kiyone coming out of there room and asking Tenchi if he wanted to take a bath with her, he probably would have been picked up for first-degree murder. Problem number three: Flowers. He had also ordered a dozen of her favorite Earth flowers to be delivered before they got home from school. The delivery guy apparently was a relative of Ryoga’s, for he got lost three times before getting to the house, and had left the flowers sitting in his passenger’s seat--and it was a sunny day. You guessed it. Wilt city. To top it all off, while Tenchi and Kiyone were at school, Mitsuki and Mihoshi came down with a sudden attack of the munchies and ate most of the food that Tenchi had put aside for preparing that night’s dinner. The little Post-it Notes he had affixed to the dishes saying "Don’t touch! For Tenchi and Kiyone!" had gone unnoticed. Since Kiyone was unaware of what Tenchi’s trying to do--he wanted it to be a surprise--she had no idea why, when seeing the fridge a few dishes light, he stormed out and up the steps to the shrine. For the next half-hour, everyone in the house heard what sounded like falling trees, then Tenchi strolled back in, looking considerably calmer. He headed for the bathroom, where he tended to keep a fresh change of clothes, and took a bath. It is just after he has emerged that he catches Kyoto’s eye. Having been informed of this--as has everyone but Kiyone--he yells out, "Time to go!" As if on cue, everyone in the house heads for the door, pulling on shoes and jackets as they go. Kiyone looks up in confusion. "Huh? Where’re you all going?" "Out for dinner," answers Katsuhito. Tenchi makes as if to go get his coat, but Katsuhito shakes his head. "No, no. You do have your exams to study for. Sasami made you some dinner earlier, it’s in the refrigerator. We’ll be home before midnight." "So don’t be naughty!" teases Sasami. And with that, everyone but Tenchi and Kiyone leave the house. Tenchi stretches. "Well, I’m gonna go see what there is to eat." He walks into the kitchen, looks in the fridge, and sighs. "What am I gonna do?" he sighs. He looks around. The wilted flowers are on the counter, the Daiginjo has been replaced with Suntory, which he is not fond of, and the elaborate meal he and Sasami had prepared is in ruins. Surveying what he has to work with, Tenchi comes to a decision. "Stir-fry." He sighs. "It’s all I can do." He drags the rarely used wok out of a cupboard, gives it a quick rinse-and-dry, and sets it on the stove. A little oil goes in, and then some noodles, and finally what’s left of the beef and vegetables. As he stirs the contents around in the wok, Tenchi begins to relax. Maybe tonight won’t go so bad after all... "Tenchi-yon..." Tenchi straightens up as he hears her calling. She has a slight lilt to her voice, the kind she likes to adopt when she’s playing Daddy’s little girl. "Daddy...come on out and spend some time with your little girl..." Tenchi gulps. He can feel himself getting hard just at the sound of his Kiyone-yoni’s voice. A quick look at the stove tells him that the stir-fry is well on its way. He turns the knob down a bit, so as not to spark a fire, and he slowly makes his way into the living room. Kiyone, still in her school uniform, is stretched out on the couch. Her plaid skirt, shorter than the other girls’, is hiked up around her waist, showing her white cotton panties. She is shifting around, as if in bed and trying to make herself comfort able. When she sees him, she smiles slowly and seductively. "Hi, daddy." Tenchi gulps. "Kiyone-yoni?" Her smile widens. "Daddy...come and sit down with me." Tenchi does so, and suddenly finds her in his lap. He is quickly on his back on the couch and she is kissing him fiercely, deftly unbuttoning his shirt. Kiyone-yoni? he queries. Mmm...daddy tastes so good, she sends back. C’mon, daddy, be naughty with me. But what about...? She never gets to answer, for the smoke alarm in the kitchen starts blaring. Tenchi pushes Kiyone back onto the couch and sprints into the kitchen, and stares in horror as the stir-fry--and its wok--start to burn. His shoulders slump. "Oh no." Kiyone bursts into the kitchen. "Tenchi-yon, wha--oh, my." She grabs a small kitchen fire extinguisher from atop the fridge and turns it on the stove. The flaming stir-fry dies in a cloud of white foam, and Tenchi gingerly kills the burner. Kiyone replaces the extinguisher, and looks over at her husband. "Tenchi, maybe next time--" The look of defeat on his face silences her for a moment. She approaches him and rests a tentative hand on his shoulder. "Tenchi-yon?" As Kiyone looks closer, she is shocked to see silent tears running down his face. The sardonic, self-mocking smile on his face is even more shocking. When he speaks, it’s in a voice of self-chagrin. "I’m sorry, Kiyone-yoni. I had Dad and Kyoto get everyone out of the house so I could make you a romantic dinner." Kiyone looks up at Tenchi, understanding on her face. Tenchi had been secretive the past few days, as if planning something. She had been curious, but she had never guessed..."Oh, Tenchi..." She reaches up, wipes away his tears, and hugs him. "Thank you." He hugs her back. "Thank you, Kiyone-yoni. None of this went the way it was s’posed to, though." "Really?" Kiyone asks. Tenchi nods. "Not a single thing. Sasami had helped me make a fancy meal last night--" "So that’s why you were late coming up to study with me," reflects Kiyone. "Yup. But this morning, we found that Washu had eaten it--" Kiyone giggles. "She ate it all?" "Most of it. I was gonna make a new one, but Mitsuki and Mihoshi ate most of the leftovers--" "And that’s why you were mad this afternoon? I though I might have done something." Tenchi gives his wife a loving smile. "Never you, Kiyone-yoni. And Dad drunk all the Daiginjo I bought you--" "Tenchi, that’s my favor--" She gasps. "Tenchi! That’s so expensive--" "It’s not important anymore. And the flowers I ordered you--" he gestures at the counter. "--I think the driver was related to a friend of mine." "Who?" "Ryoga--the guy with no sense of direction?" "Ohhh..." Kiyone hugs Tenchi tighter. "Oh, Tenchi-yon, that’s so sweet..." She gives him a kiss. "Thank you." They start to kiss more passionately, but the sudden and simultaneous rumblings of their stomachs stop them. The mood of passion is replaced by laughter, and finally lingering looks of affection. Kiyone smiles lovingly at her husband. "I’ll call take-out." The passing of an hour finds them sitting together on the porch, watching the clear night sky and the millions of stars overhead. Tenchi has an arm around Kiyone’s shoulders, and she is snuggled as close to him as she can get without being in his lap. The remains of Chinese take-out sit off to one side. "So, how did you like my dinner?" asks Tenchi wryly. Kiyone graces him with a tender smile. "Most wonderful, my love." She sighs as she watches the moonlight play off the water of the lake. "So beautiful...so wonderful." "Shouldn’t we go in and study?" he asks "In a little while, in a little while..." 8:20 a.m., the next morning. Makoto, Nanami, and Ifurita are waiting outside the school, waiting for Tenchi and Kiyone to show up. This is the morning of the dreaded final placement exams. Every senior-class student has to take these. The better your scores, the likelier you are to get into the college or university of your choice. If you don’t do well...take a look at Yusaku Godai from Maison Ikukko (although I think he came out all right in the end). Finally their bus pulls up, and Mr. and Mrs. Masaki disembark. However, Kiyone is the only one awake. She has Tenchi’s right arm draped across her shoulders, and is acting as a human crutch for him. Tenchi appears to be barely conscious. Makoto gulps. "Tenchi?" He looks worriedly at Kiyone. "Kiyone, is he all right?" Kiyone nods. "Yeah. He was just up till two-thirty this morning studying." "Two-thirty a.m?!" This comes from an incredulous Nanami. "I was only up till eleven!" "Who was up till two-thirty?" asks Kenji, yawning as he walks up to the group. He quickly takes note of Tenchi’s condition. "Oh, it must have been him..." Kiyone nods, and plants a gentle kiss on the unconscious emperor’s forehead. "Poor baby spent the whole evening making me dinner." She carefully omits what happened to the dinner. Nanami and Ifurita immediately get "oh, how sweet"-type expressions on their face. Ifurita is the first to speak as she nudges Makoto playfully. "Hey, Makoto, how come you never make me or Nanami dinner?" Nanami laughs. "Because he’d burn the kitchen down!" Makoto sports a self-effacing grin. "All too true, I’m afraid." They have stopped outside their classroom by now, and Ifurita quickly excuses herself to go to hers. Makoto looks around and sees Kenji looking intently at Tenchi. "Kenji, what on Earth--" "Tenchi..." Kenji gently slaps Tenchi on the face. "Come on, buddy, wake up..." Kiyone glares at him. "What the hell do you think you’re doing?" "He promised to go over an algebraic formula with me." Kiyone and Nanami groan. Makoto rolls his eyes in disgust. "Kenji, you idiot! The poor guy’s completely blitzed!" "Not for long." Kenji starts shaking Tenchi. "Tenchi! Tenchi!" Tenchi starts to stir. "Oh, good. Now, I just need to know one thing..." "You could have asked one of us, Kenji," reminds Nanami. "Tenchi’s the only one I trust with math. Now, Tenchi, what’s the Pythagorean Theorem?" Kiyone’s eyes blaze. "Kenji, if you don’t let go o’ him right now, I swear--" Tenchi’s voice begins to answer, albeit weakly. "It’s C-squared..." Kenji produces a small notebook and scribbles Tenchi’s word down, while still managing to hold him up. "Yeah? Yeah?" "...equals..." "Yeah? Yeah?" "...A-squared..." "Okay, go on..." "...plus..." "Uh-huh? Uh-huh?" "...B-squared...unh." Tenchi collapses to the ground, what little energy he had now spent. Kiyone glares daggers at Kenji as she and Makoto kneel down to lift Tenchi back up. "You moron. He needed that energy to take his tests!" She knows that in the long run it won’t really matter, seeing as he already has a throne waiting for him, but she also knows that her husband really wanted to graduate with good marks. I’m sorry, Tenchi-yon, I really am... Makoto drapes Tenchi’s left are across his shoulders, while Kiyone does the same on Tenchi’s right side, and they carry him into the classroom, a disgusted-faced Nanami and an abashed-looking Kenji following behind. The rest of the class is busy going over last-minute preparations, and they look up in alarm as they see the slumbering Tenchi being carried in. The girls, in particular, look put out, and they give Kiyone envious looks. Makoto and Kiyone seat Tenchi behind his desk, and settle themselves in just as Fujisawa strides through the door. Halfway into the room, he stretches and yawns, and they hear his muscles crackle. Evidently, Mrs. Fujisawa was feeling frisky the other night. Once seated, he opens his briefcase and pulls out a thick stack of paper.. "Good morning, class. As you know, today we will take the final placement exams. I don’t have to stress to you the importance of scoring well on these--" His voice trails off as he sees Tenchi. The young man is resting his head on the desk and is quite obviously unconscious. How the hell did--and his gaze falls on Kiyone, who is doing her best to look innocent. Ah, youth. Well, a few minutes to get awake won’t hurt. Funny, though, I never thought Principal Shibata’s speeches were that bad... Clearing his throat, Fujisawa continues. "Ahh, anyway, you have fifteen minutes for last-minute preparations. If there is anything that you need to get done--like waking up--do it now." He casts a weary smile in the direction of Tenchi. "Miss Makibi, Mr. Mizuhara, you might want to wake Mr. Masaki up." "Yes, sensei." Makoto and Kiyone rise from behind their desks and carry Tenchi out of the room. Makoto starts to head in the direction of the boys’ bathroom, but Kiyone shakes her head and pulls Tenchi towards the girls’ locker room. "And just why are we taking Tenchi to the girls bathroom?" Kiyone smiles hungrily. "I know some things that will definitely wake Tenchi up." The very thoughts are starting to make her vision hazy. From out of nowhere they hear a voice say, "I’m sure Tenchi would enjoy that, Kiyone, but perhaps it would be better if you held off on that." They turn around to see...another Tenchi. "Kyoto?" says Kiyone in surprise. "In the flesh," Tenchi/Kyoto grins. He stretches out a hand to Makoto. "Hi, Kyoto Minamoto, I think you remember me from the victory party about a month ago?" Makoto thinks, then smiles as he remembers. "Oh, yeah! You were the guy who was doing all the party tricks!" "The same." He taps the unconscious Tenchi on the head. "Poor guy. Kiyone, exactly what did you do to him?" Kiyone’s face flushes with indignation and guilt. "Nothing! He was up till two-thirty last night studying!" "And why aren’t you out like a light?" "Galaxy Police, remember? I’m trained to stay awake and alert for up to thirty-six hours. Besides--" she sighs in guilt "--I went to bed at twelve-thirty." "Oh. Well, no worries." He turns around and calls out softly, "Ryoko dear?" Ryoko, dressed in a schoolgirl’s outfit, appears. "Yes, Kyoto?" "I think you can see what condition Tenchi’s in. Be a darling and take him home, would you?" Kiyone and Makoto lower Tenchi into Ryoko’s arms. "Now, Ryoko," teases Kiyone, don’t you dare do anything to my Tenchi, okay?" Ryoko laughs. "Don’t worry, Kiyone. He loves you, and besides, I’m nowhere near as good at playing Daddy’s little girl as you are!" Still giggling, she disappears with Tenchi. Makoto looks like a sudden revelation has hit him. "Ohh...so that’s why you call him ‘daddy’ sometimes?" Kiyone blushes a little, but nods. "Hey, you guys!" They turn to see Nanami sticking her head out of their classroom. "Come on, it’s almost time!" Tenchi/Kyoto smiles at Makoto and Kiyone. "Shall we?" Late afternoon, back at the Masaki house. Tenchi is slowly stirring, as if fighting consciousness. Finally, he pushes his eyes open--and finds himself very glad. Kiyone is smiling down at him, now dressed in shorts and a T-shirt. She leans down and kisses him. "Morning, sleepyhead," she chirps in a playful voice. Tenchi returns her smile and kiss. "Morning. Hadn’t we be--" His eyes fall upon the clock. 4:45. P.M. Ohimgod, ohmigod, I missed my tests, ohmi--He starts to rise off the bed but Kiyone stops him. He looks at her with disbelief. "Kiyone-yoni, I have to get to the school! Maybe it’s not too late, mayb--" He can’t talk anymore, not when Kiyone has her lips on his. Finally she pulls away. "Tenchi-yon, don’t worry. It’s all right." "Huh?" "We came to the school earlier. You were completely out of it. But luckily, Kyoto showed up and took your place." Tenchi looks at her with a mixture of relief and guilt. On the one hand, he is glad that someone was willing to cover for him, but on the other hand, he feels guilty for passing off someone else’s work as his own-- Kiyone gives him a reassuring smile. "It’s okay, he didn’t mind." What’s past is past, and so Tenchi just sighs in relief. "Ohhh...whew..." Out of nowhere, a possibility occurs to him. "Hmmm...I wonder..." Kiyone looks at him quizzically. "What, what is it?" Tenchi grins. "I wonder exactly what he did on my exams?" The next day holds the answer to that question. During the lunch hour, the exam results are posted up next to the school office, and Tenchi and company literally have to fight their way to the front of the pack to see their scores. Makoto is the first to spot his. "Yes!" he shouts. "I hit the ninety-fifth percentile!" He also becomes the recipient of a high-five from Kenji and Tenchi, and hugs from the girls. And so they scan for their scores. Nanami makes the ninetieth percentile, Kenji the eighty-seventh, and Ifurita matches Makoto. Now Kiyone hunts for hers, she sees it and... "Yay! The ninety-seventh!" She spins and throws herself into Tenchi’s arms, and gives him a big kiss. He returns it in full, ignoring the cheers and catcalls. Finally comes his turn. "Okay, where the hell am--oh, there I am, and my score is--" He abruptly stops speaking, staring at the posted scores as if they are a 3-D painting. His lips finally whisper, "Oh dear god." Kiyone follows his gaze, and sees his score. A gasp escapes her lips. Slowly, the rest of the class look up, see Tenchi’s score, and fall silent. You see, had Tenchi been fully awake--or maybe just awake--the previous day, he would have received about the same score as Makoto, or maybe a little higher. A wonderful score, sure to let him into any college he wanted to attend. He was not, though. Kyoto took his tests for him. Now, Kyoto did hold himself back, realizing that a score too high might draw some unwarranted attention. But the experience and knowledge gleaned in his long life shines through. And that is how Tenchi Masaki became the first student at Shinonome High, in Okayama, Japan, to place in the one-hundred-first percentile. As one, the looks of amazement shift from the posted score to Tenchi. Tenchi meets their collective gaze squarely. After a moment, he laughs, although it sounds a little forced. "What?" He laughs again. "It’s not like this is anything special, right?" Mentally, he is praying, oh, dear god, please don’t let them make a big deal out of this... "...and now, a special award for our Student of the Year, the first student in the history of Shinonome High to rank in the one-hundred-first percentile, Tenchi Masaki!" The crowd goes wild. Tenchi, who is mentally strangling his principal, pastes on his best smile and steps forward to accept yet another award. He doesn’t want to think about how many awards he’s gotten in the hour since this graduation ceremony began. At this rate, he thinks, I’ll have to give half of them away just to be able to walk! Uh oh. The principal is motioning to him again. Mentally steeling himself against whatever’s to come next, Tenchi walks back up to beside the principal, adjusting his robe and mortarboard as he settles into place. The principal starts droning again. "For his academic achievements alone, Tenchi Masaki is someone to be looked up to. But he is more than merely intellectual. He is also an accomplished kendo artist, a respected student leader, and someone who helps those in need. For this, we have saved the most momentous award for last." Tenchi groans inwardly. He’s glad people think that about him--although he’s not sure he sees it himself--but he isn’t looking forward to yet another award. What next, a bust of my head? Or are they gonna hang my picture up in the hall for future generations to see? He pulls himself back to the matter at hand and resettles his plastic smile. "...Tenchi Masaki, many colleges want you, that’s why you have received so many scholarships today, but this last one is perhaps the most significant of all..." Great, another scholarship I don’t need. Why doesn’t he give this to someone else? "...you have been chosen to be the first, and so far only, male student at Bishojo* University!" The crowd gasps as one. They are a few seconds behind Tenchi himself. He can already see the looks on his classmates’ faces. The guys: "Yeah, Tenchi! Go, Tenchi!" The girls: "Tenchi (sniff sniff), don’t leave us (sniff sniff)! We’re (sniff sniff) transferring to (sniff sniff) Bishojo to (sniff sniff) be with you..." Kiyone. She’s giggling. Look, daddy, look at all the little girls who want to play with you! Indeed, the girls representing the college seem to be entranced by him. He is in a daze as he and his class walk through the line and accept their diplomas. It’s only as the sheepskin hits his hands that reality returns. My god. Did I get through it? But then he turns, and sees his precious Kiyone smiling at him, and he smiles back and thinks, Yeah, I guess I did. The reception is far more enjoyable than the ceremony. He is able to break the sad news to the group from Bishojo about his impending marriage (true), and his plans to attend college in the States (lie, although, if time as an emperor permits, he wouldn’t mind going back to school). Their response is tearful, but hopeful: "We understand, Tenchi...but if you ever change your mind, all you have to do is show up, and we’ll have a room waiting for you!" Once back at the house, Tenchi changes into jeans and a T-shirt and collapses on the bed. A lustful smile plays across his face as he watches Kiyone shuck off her dress and pull on shorts and a button-down shirt. She returns the smile in full as she lies down next to him. They start to kiss-- (yeah, yeah, I know, gratuitous interruption #4760-alpha...) --and the door flies open. Kyoto strides into the room, and taps Tenchi on the shoulder. "Come on, Tenchi, we gotta go." Tenchi looks up, annoyed. "Go? Where?" "Silly, your bachelor party!" Tenchi’s eyes go wide with fear. He remembers the events of Keiichi’s bachelor party; while nothing happened--really--he had decided to just forgo the ritual in place of nice, simple dinner with his best friends. "Hey! Kyoto, I--" Kyoto pulls him off the bed and onto his feet. "Don’t worry! You’ll have lots of fun!" "I don’t want a bachelor party? I want to just have a quiet dinner with Kiyo--" Ryoko suddenly appears in the room and starts tugging Kiyone into a sitting position. "Come on, Kiyone! You don’t want to be late for your bachelorette party, do you?" Kiyone and Tenchi exchange glances. So much for a nice, quiet evening, quips Tenchi. Oh, well, replies Kiyone. I guess we’ll have plenty of opportunities for those. Kyoto is going through Tenchi and Kiyone’s closet, hunting for clothes. "I swear, don’t you two know what to wear to a party..." He pulls out a blue silk shirt and throws it at Tenchi. "Lose the T-shirt and wear this." Ryoko is already tugging Kiyone out of the room. "Come on! I just got this new dress you’re just going to love!..." Kiyone barely manages to throw Tenchi a kiss before disappearing. The place for Tenchi’s bachelor party turns out to be an old, dilapidated space station just outside the Orion Arm. Called the Black Whole, it has a reputation for being a place of uninhibited debauchery. It must be true, thinks Tenchi. He isn’t quite sure what is swinging his opinion in that direction, but it might have something to do with the topless dancer swinging her impressive--but probably not natural--breasts in his face. He looks around the bar that Kyoto has commandeered for this party. While most of those present are Kyoto’s old space pirate buddies, most of Tenchi’s friends are there, and many of them are looking as ill at ease as he is. Makoto is finding his water very interesting, seeing as he refuses to look up from it. Ranma keeps smacking himself on the head every few minutes. Keiichi is apparently chanting a prayer for protection and forgiveness, while Ryoga is repeatedly dabbing at his nose. He has already gone through five handkerchiefs, and the blood does not appear to be in any hurry to let up. "I though Ukyo cured that for you?" teases Ranma. Apparently, Tenchi’s engagement had provided the impetus for Ranma to finally tell Akane how he felt. Now, the engagement is completely solid, because the two people getting married know they’re in love. This had also sparked a "getting-on-with-life" movement among those who were in love with the two, one which had ultimately led to other couples forming. Some, like Ryoga and Ukyo, were not unexpected. Others, like Mousse and Kodachi, had surprised everyone. And still others, such as Shampoo and Kuno, are just plain...disturbing. At the sound of Ukyo’s name, Ryoga’s nosebleed seems to immediately dry up. He gives his nose a last dab and chuckles. "Yeah. Mostly, though, it just won’t bleed around her!" He shakes his head. "God, I hope she doesn’t find out about this..." In another bar on another level of the station, Kiyone is pointedly ignoring the male dancer gyrating in front of her. The other girls at her table are not so self-controlled. As the beefcake in the G-string starts to dance in front of her, Mihoshi murmurs, "Oh, my!" She rummages around in her wallet till she finds a ten Jurai bill, and she carefully tucks it in his waistband. Belldandy’s face is the color of a tomato. "‘Oh my’ is right," she murmurs. Beside her, Akane has already passed out. Ryoko notes Kiyone's expression--a very glum one--and nudges her. "Hey, what’s wrong, Kiyone?" She pushes a bottle of saké in her direction. "C’mon, have a drink or two." Kiyone accepts the bottle and pours herself a generous portion. After swigging down half of it, she asks (in a completely sober voice), "Are you sure you don’t know where Tenchi is?" Ryoko rolls her eyes and sighs. She had snuck out about an hour ago to meet with Kyoto, and he had reported that Tenchi was asking the same thing. Somehow, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You could lock the two of them up on a desert island for ten years, and when you came back for them, they’d still be acting like they’re on a honeymoon... To Kiyone, she replies, "Would it make you feel better if I told you Tenchi’s probably just as miserable as you are right now?" The Juraian empress cracks a smile. "A little..." Her gaze falls upon Ukyo, who has a napkin pressed to her nose. From time to time, she replaces the napkin with a freshly moistened one. "Are you all right, Ukyo?" she asks concernedly. The okonomiyaki cook has an embarrassed smile on her face. "Sorry, I..." She gestures up at her nose. "Guess I musta picked this up from Ryoga. I hope he doesn’t find out about this..." Several hours pass, and the partiers wear themselves down until everyone--including the bartenders and the exotic dancers--are sprawled, unconscious, across the floors and tables. (Yes, this includes Kyoto. He’s passed out with a lampshade on his head.) The only ones still awake are Tenchi, Keiichi. Ranma, Ryoga, and Makoto. Keiichi has a look of relief on his face. He’s not sure if it was the alcohol or not (he hopes so), but several of the dancers were starting to favor him. "Well, now what do we do?" Ranma opens his mouth to respond, but his stomach beats him to the punch, rumbling loudly. The four other guys look at him, and he finds himself blushing. After a few minutes to regain equilibrium, he inquires, "Anything left to eat?" Ryoga laughs. "Your stomach is bottomless." Ranma shoots him an empty glare. "If I was just a bit hungrier, I’d dump water on you and fry you!" "And then Ukyo would flatten you with her spatula," shoots back Ryoga lightheartedly. The enmity between these two, once comparable to that of Ayeka and Ryoko, has now gone the way of that hatred. Any bickering now is more playful than anything else. Makoto straightens his jacket. "Well, I’ll check, although I think those guys--" he indicates a sleeping pile of pirates who look like space-age Hell’s Angels "--ate everything." Ranma makes a face. "Damn." Tenchi stretches and yawns. "Well, you guys sort it out. I’m gonna go relieve myself." Keiichi starts to ask what’s wrong with the bathroom in the bar, remembers where they are, and snaps his mouth back shut. Tenchi grins. "Exactly." He walks out the door. "Be back soon." Tenchi quickly finds that the main public restroom on his level is closed "for repairs"--considering the nature of the station, he doesn’t want to know what broke, and he doubts they will be running again anytime soon--but that the bathrooms on the next level up are open and running. Crossing his fingers, he takes the lift up. To his relief, the men's’ restroom is clean and working. He comes out of it, whistling, and, as he starts to head back toward the lift, he feels something collide with his legs. He looks down, and smiles. "Ryo-ohki!" "Mi-ya!" responds the happy Ohki. Tenchi picks Ryo-ohki up and looks at her. "Hmm. Kyoto brought us here on Chi-ohki, and Chi-ohki’s passed out in the bar downstairs, so--" He blinks as Ryo-ohki bounces out of his arms and scampers off. "Hey, wait!" he yells as he starts running after the cabbit. Ryo-ohki leads him to a small observation area, with trees and flowers and a small bench--very out of place on this station. Curled up on the bench, dozing lightly, is Kiyone, who has a slight smile on her face. At once, the annoyed mood that Tenchi had been holding in check the entire evening dissipates like the morning mist. He gets down on one knee next to the bench and gently kisses Kiyone’s forehead. As if the kiss were a trigger, Kiyone’s eyes slowly open. As she sees who’s kneeling in front of her, the slight smile goes wider. "Hi, Tenchi-yon," she says shyly. "Hi, Kiyone-yoni," he responds, pulling her up to a sitting position and sitting next to her. She snuggles in under his left arm. "What are you doing here?" he asks. "This is where Ryoko brought me for my bachelorette party," Kiyone answers. She smiles and rises to her feet. "Let me show you." The condition of the bar that hosted Kiyone’s party is identical to that of the other bar. Aside from Belldandy, Akane, Ifurita (Nanami is at home), Mihoshi, and Ukyo, everyone else is passed out. (Even Ayeka--she and Ryoko were having a chugging contest. Neither won.). Tenchi leads the girls down to the other bar, where Ryoga and Keiichi have fire extinguishers aimed at a fire. Apparently, Ranma had tried to use what he thought was a microwave, but was really a trash disintegrator. Once the fire is extinguished, the girls run to their boyfriends. Particularly amusing are Ryoga and Ukyo, who seem determined to conceive their first child up against the doorway. Ryo-ohki carves her mi-yaing way across the stars, bound for the Sol system. The couples are snuggled up in love seat-sized floating chairs, while the sole single--Mihoshi--is snoring. The insistent, high-pitched beeping of an incoming com signal shatters the peaceful atmosphere. Tenchi reluctantly disengages his lips from Kiyone’s, and looks around in confusion. "Ryo-ohki, what’s going on?" The cabbit-starship mi-yas, and a rear-view screen pops up. Right on their tail is a Galaxy Police patrol ship. Kiyone, who was starting to fall asleep, stares up incredulously at the screen. "The Galaxy Police? What do they want?" "Uhh, did we do anything to piss someone off?" inquires Ranma. "Not that I know of," replies Kiyone. "Ryo-ohki, are you running full ID?" The spaceship mi-yas in confirmation. "Well, then, I can’t think of--" The insistent beeping is replaced by a shrill, ear-splitting wail that makes everyone wince and cover his or her ears. A voice suddenly booms out of the speakers. "Spaceship Ryo-ohki, pull over!" Ryo-ohki suddenly jolts violently to a stop. The bridge disappears, and they find themselves in a holding cell. "So, tell me again, why were you traveling in Ryo-ohki, the spaceship of the dread pirate Ryoko?" Tenchi is resisting the urge to produce a Jurai energy sword and cleave his questioner in half. "The last time I checked, Ryoko received a pardon." "Perhaps, but her spaceship has not!" Beside Tenchi, Kiyone groans. It has been like this ever since they were brought back to the GP station in the Sirius system. The sole bright point of this affair is that their friends, still back in a holding cell several levels down, have not been mistreated. When they had been brought before a Detective Sergeant, they had hoped that they would be able to clear things up and leave--fast. It quickly became apparent, however, that this Sergeant was not the most open-minded officer in the Galaxy Police. He keeps questioning why they aren’t carrying any identification, but he refuses to let them take a DNA test to prove their identity. "Why should I let criminals manufacture extenuating evidence?" he keeps saying in a haughty voice. Even worse, he must not watch the news, for he does recognizes neither of them--not even Kiyone, who is perhaps the most famous GP in the galaxy! By sheer luck, his secretary comes in to bring him some criminal reports. One look at the two people in her boss’ office is all she needs. "Sarge, do you know who these two are?" "They’re criminals, and that’s all I need to know," he replies self-confidently. "Try again." She has a copy of The Jurai Times under her arm. On the front page is a picture of Tenchi and Kiyone, announcing their upcoming wedding. The sergeant reads the front page several times, as if trying not to miss any details, but more likely not wanting to face the Emperor and Empress of Jurai. As is the case in many places, the secretary is one step ahead of her boss. She produces a release waiver, all the spaces but the dotted line filled in. "I believe you’ll want this, boss?" Around midnight, Ryo-ohki arrives back on Earth. The guests are dropped off at the Okayama hotel where they are staying (most of Tenchi’s out-of-town friends will be present for the wedding), and then Tenchi and company head home. The night, however, is not yet over. As soon as they step through the door, they see the red light blinking on the TV-mounted transgalactic modem, signaling an incoming phone call. Tenchi, tired and not in the mood to deal with anything till morning, is grumbling as he picks up the remote and hits the phone key. He is even less happy to see the face on the screen. "Kyoto, where the hell are you?" The ex-space pirate, for once, looks almost penitent. "Heh heh heh...Tenchi, I need you to come and bail me, Ryoko, and Ayeka out of jail. Oh, yeah, and Chi-ohki too." Kiyone steps into view of the pickup. "Bail you out?" Kyoto nods desperately. "Yes, please." Tenchi shoots Kiyone a look, and she scurries up the stairs, returning a moment later with Tenchi’s wallet. He kisses her on the cheek and starts rifling through the wallet, thanking God that he still has some Jurai left. "Okay, Kyoto. Three questions. One, what did you do." "Nothing! We were just speeding!" "And you were going..." "Uhhh...125 c in a 100 c zone?" Tenchi shrugs. "Next question, where are you?" "The GP station at Sirius." Kiyone squeezes Tenchi’s shoulder. "Hear that, Tenchi-yon? We might not even need to pay bail!" Tenchi returns the smile. "I hope you’re right, Kiyone-yoni." His gaze returns to the screen. "Last question. How much is the bail?" "Just five hundred Jurai apiece for me and the girls, two fifty for Chi-ohki." Tenchi checks his wallet again...twenty-five hundred Jurai. So far, so good. "Okay, Kyoto, we’ll be there in a little while." The passing of two hours finds Ryo-ohki returning to Earth yet again, this time with four extra passengers. Once in the Masaki house, everyone turns in, since the events of the next day are to begin around ten a.m. Of course, who says anything goes exactly as planned? The first of the guests arrive about 10:30. Tenchi has just gotten up from the breakfast table when he hears the doorbell ring. He looks at the clock, shrugs, and walks to the door. He slides the door open to find himself faced with two guardians, one marked with green and the other marked in orange, standing before him. They bow to him and float into the house, swerving around him and cutting in behind. Now standing before him is a beautiful, black-haired woman, dressed in a light blue dress suit and sporting a hairstyle similar to Murasaki’s. Her dark brown eyes--Just like my mother’s, he muses--are sparkling with humor. Abruptly, he realizes that she is speaking to him. "Well, young man," she says in an amused voice, "why are you...staring at me?" Tenchi suppresses the blush and smiles in equal humor. "Sorry about that," he replies, "but I tend to stare when strange women accompanied by floating logs show up on my doorstep. May I ask your name?" The unidentified lady bows her head, as if to say "Touché." "My name is Funaho. I am the president of the Galaxy Federation." She extends her hand. "My apologies for not being present at your visit to Prime Center, Lord Tenchi." Tenchi shakes his head. He doesn’t know why, but he finds himself liking this woman. "Don’t worry about it, Madam President. I’m honored that you came for my wedding." "To miss the wedding of the new Juraian emperor?" Funaho’s voice is rich with amusement. "That is damage my reputation can do without. Besides, I have a personal reason for being here. You see--" "Tenchi!" It’s Katsuhito’s voice, coming up behind his grandson. "Aren’t you going to show our guest i--" As his eyes fall upon the identity of the guest, his normally implacable calm is visibly disturbed. Finally, he bows his head and says, "Mother." It is now Tenchi’s turn to look disturbed. He looks from Katsuhito...to Funaho...and back again and back again and...He finally stops himself. The first words to come out of his mouth are, "She’s your mother?" Although, he thinks, this explains the dot on her forehead... Funaho smiles and nods. "Yes, Tenchi, so I am your great-grandmother." "Tenchi-yon?" Kiyone’s voice now. "Tenchi-yon, who--" Her hands fly to her face as she sees the first guest. "Auntie Funaho!" With a delighted, girlish smile on her face, she runs up and hugs Funaho, who returns the hug in full. Neither of them notices that Kiyone is still in her shorts and tank top. "Oh, Auntie Funaho, thank you for coming!" "I could never miss my favorite goddaughter’s wedding," says Funaho. "Oh, I see…" Tenchi nods in understanding. Kiyone had told him that her mother and the president were good friends. Katsuhito shows Funaho into the house and introduces her around, and then takes her up to the shrine, so they can talk about events in privacy. Tenchi and Kiyone head upstairs to get dressed. Ryoko is sitting in the living room, going over the guest list with Ayeka. This particular list is extremely long: in addition to Tenchi’s friends from Earth and their families, the entire Supreme Council will be present, along with their families, all of Kiyone and Mihoshi’s friends from the Galaxy Police and their families, most of the Galactic High Council and their families...you start to get the idea. Suddenly the doorbell rings for the second time in thirty minutes. Shrugging, she opens the door-- --and finds her swept up in a bonecrushing embrace. Her eyes bug out and she starts clawing at her captor. It’s useless. Ryoko doesn’t need to breathe, but that doesn’t lessen the effects of this killer hug. The person squeezing Ryoko like a plush Ohki is a tall, fetching lady dressed in a conservative dress who doesn’t look too much older than Ryoko herself. Her wide, cherry-colored eyes and long, turquoise hair, just a shade or two darker than Sasami's, highlight her features. And she is blubbering, "Oh Kiyone oh Kiyone I’ve missed you so much Kiyone!" Ryoko is desperately but gently trying to extricate herself from this woman’s grasp. "Uh, lady, I’m not Kiyone..." This prove no good, so after several seconds of rational pleading she finally shouts, "I’m not Kiyone!" The woman, her eyes shut in bliss, suddenly goes rigid. Her eyes snap open, and she pulls away from Ryoko, regarding her carefully. Satisfied that she has made herself clear, Ryoko begins, "My name is Ry--" "You’ve changed so much, Kiyone!" wails the woman, causing Ryoko to facefault. Without warning she grabs Ryoko by the hair and starts sobbing. "Your hair! It used to be so soft and pretty; now you’ve dyed it, and it’s all hard and pointy!" She yanks Ryoko up to eye level and abruptly grabs her cheeks, pulling them apart till the ex-pirate’s eyes narrow into thin lines. "And your eyes! They look so mean and vicious!" Ryoko has had enough. She tears herself away from the woman and screams, "My eyes are none of your business!" Instead of alerting the woman to the fact that there’s something wrong, it merely makes her go into full-bore mother mode. Her eyes switching to "my poor baby"-setting, she hugs Ryoko again. "I’m sorry, Kiyone," she whispers. "My poor, poor Kiyone. Life in the Galaxy Police must have been very, very tough for you. I just hope this love hasn’t come too late..." Ryoko has almost given up. Weakly, she croaks, "Lady...like I said...I’m not Kiyone..." Idly, she wonders where Ayeka has gone. I hope she went to get Kiyone... Ayeka has indeed gone to get Kiyone and Tenchi, who are now dressed in casual clothes and watching from the top of the stairs. Mrs. Masaki has a frightened look on her face. "Oh, no," she whimpers. "Who is it, Kiyone-yoni?" asks Tenchi, giving his wife a hug. "My mother, Misaki." Tenchi now looks a little apprehensive. "She’s your mother?!" Kiyone nods. Right then and there, they resolve to visit only a few times a year. Ayeka is looking down the stairs in concern. "Shouldn’t we get down there? It looks like Ryoko’s about to pass out!" Tenchi looks pleadingly at his beloved. After a long moment, Kiyone sighs and starts down the stairs, Tenchi and Ayeka right behind. The woman is still smothering Ryoko, who has ceased struggling for her own good, when she sees a familiar figure coming down the stairs. The hair is still the same color, if a bit longer, the sapphire eyes are sparkling with happiness, and the clincher--the omnipresent red-orange headband--is wrapped snugly around her forehead. The woman looks at this girl, and at the one she is clutching, and drops the girl she is holding. Or, rather, flings the girl into the nearest wall. (Tenchi and Ayeka wince in sympathy, and Ayeka rushes up to help her friend to her feet.) For her part, the new guest is looking almost entranced by the girl’s entrance. "Kiyone?" She gets a very motherly expression on her face. "Is that my little Kiyone?" Kiyone appreciates the displays of affection by her mother, but believes that she stopped acknowledging her growth when she turned fourteen. Well, maybe it’ll work this time... A genuine smile on her face, she says, "Mom! It’s so good to see you again!" Her mother gets a quizzical expression on her face. "Ah heh heh heh..." Kiyone’s eyes start pleading. Now her mother’s eyes are radiating a dangerous anger, looking much like a vampire’s eyes. Kiyone gives up. Tenchi-yon, you know what I have to do, don’t you? I know, Kiyone-yoni, he reassures her. Go right ahead. All right... Kiyone lets her face fall into a little girl’s expression and calls out in her very best eight-year-old’s voice, "My Mommy!" Ayeka and Ryoko’s jaws hit the floor at the same time. Tenchi is wearing an impassive expression on his face, looking very much like his grandfather. Misaki looks delighted. "My little Kiyone!" "Oh Mommy!" Kiyone scuttles forward and throws herself into her mother’s arms. The detached part of her mind notes with dry satisfaction that she almost knocks her over. Tenchi watches this with a small smile. He is a discreet and loving enough husband to conveniently forget he ever saw Kiyone do this. Ryoko, however, is not so tactful. Any animosity she might have harbored towards Kiyone for getting Tenchi has long since died, and she is more than happy with her Kyoto. Still, this is too good an opportunity for teasing to pass up. "S-sh-she," she stutters merrily, "sh-she’s calling her....mommy!" The laugh, however, dies stillborn on her lips as Kiyone’s mother is in front of her, her face looking eerily like a vampire. Ryoko abruptly finds herself being lifted off the ground, the older woman’s hands clutching her shoulders and shaking her like a little doll. In a voice like the grave, she says, "Nobody mocks my little Kiyone. Are you understanding me?" "Uhhh...I....think...so..." Through the haze of pain, Ryoko can see Kiyone scribbling something on a sheet of paper and holding it up. She can also see Kiyone mouthing the words "Read it out loud." "Uhhh...I’m...sorry...pretty...young...lady...?" she manages. The look of anger vanishes from Misaki’s face, and is replaced by a placid one. "Oh. That’s much better." The motherly look returns. "Come to me!" She pulls Ryoko into an embrace again. The space pirate is too weak to resist. "Mi-ya! Mi-ya!" Kiyone’s attention switches from her mother smothering the unfortunate Ryoko--again--to the teal Ohki--in fact, the same shade as her hair--scampering through the door. An "oh, how sweet"-expression on her face, she drops to one knee and holds out her arms. "Chana-ohki!" "Mi-ya!" The Ohki happily catapults herself into Kiyone’s arms. After nuzzling her owner for a moment, she climbs onto Kiyone’s head, settles herself into the thick, lush mane of teal, and disappears. Kiyone smiles at Tenchi. "Tenchi-yon, meet Chana-ohki. She’s--" She feels around the top of her head for a moment. "Well, she’s somewhere up there." In agreement, a muffled mi-ya sounds from atop Kiyone’s head. Sasami rushes into the living room. "Did I just hear an Ohki?" In response, Chana-ohki surfaces from Kiyone’s hair, and climbs onto her shoulder. Sasami looks up in delight. "Mommy, another Ohki?" Kiyone nods and gently strokes Chana-ohki’s back. "That’s right, Sami-cha’ya. This is Chana-ohki." Chana-ohki looks down at Sasami for a minute, mi-yas in approval, and hops down onto Sasami’s head. Needless to say, the young princess has no objections. Tenchi is chuckling when Misaki suddenly appears in front of him. Startled, he takes an involuntary step (or five) back. Misaki looks approvingly at him. "Well, well, well, now. You must be Tenchi." Before Tenchi can think of a response, she has him in a bonecrushing hug. "Thank you for taking such good care of my Kiyone!" she sobs blissfully. "Where’s your mother? I want to thank her for raising such a wonderful young man!" "Well..." Tenchi, having watched Kiyone and Ryoko, is forgoing any resistance whatsoever, and is merely waiting for it to end. "My mother...passed away a long time ago." "Ohhh..." Misaki’s countenance shifts again, now wearing the "my poor baby" look again. The hug tightens, causing Tenchi to nearly pass out. "Poor baby! Well, don’t worry. I’ll be your mother! Call me mommy!" What can you say to that? Tenchi tries, "T-th-thank you, Mrs. Makibi--" "Call me mommy!" The hug tightens slightly. "M-m-mom?" "Mommy!" Tenchi does not so much hear this as he does feel it, like an earthquake. Fine, I give up. "Mommy." He immediately feels color and air returning, and Kiyone rushes forward to catch him. The next few hours pass swiftly. The rest of the guests arrive, dressed in their best (yes, that includes the Nerima gang. We even see Ryoga and Ukyo dressed up; she in a beautiful red kimono, he in a dapper black suit--but still with the bandanna. Oh, well...) The offworlders arrive to, and as the young and adorable princesses--with Ohkis on their shoulders, of course--come into view, the single men present start to lament, "Oh, god, if only they were just a little older..." Nobuyuki takes Misaki on a personal tour of the grounds. They find that they have much in common--both of them being widowers--and they make plans to get together for coffee or something sometime after the wedding. Katsuhito and Funaho spend some time catching up on the others’ lives. Katsuhito is more than a little surprised to see that his mother, once an empress of Jurai, sits in the President’s Office on Prime Center (this had happened after he left Jurai). For her part, Funaho is bemused at her son settling down as a shrine priest on a backwater world--but glad that her great-grandson is taking the throne--and that he and his bride have demonstrated the ability to project Light Hawk Wings. (She is also glad that her son has dropped his disguise as an old man for her. The Fountain of Life*--one of the powers of Jurai, a water, flowing from Tsunami, that slows down the aging process to the point where a person ages only one year for every thousand lived--would keep him alive for many centuries, and the old man’s appearance he projects is merely a shell to hide the young Yosho--who, in reality, looks almost exactly like he did in his "youth.") Another surprise is that Hideki Kuramitsu, Director General of the Galaxy Police...is Mihoshi’s grandfather. Kiyone, of course, already knew this...and more. "You see," she explains to a shocked Tenchi and Ryoko, "Mihoshi is a member of a noble Megamian family...one with close ties to the Royal Family. I’ve known her our entire lives. So, in effect...she’s a princess too!" To Ryoko, this explains why Mihoshi has been able to last in the Galaxy Police. Finally, the time for the ceremony has arrived. Both bride and groom have been dressed in separate rooms, despite their protests. Now they emerge, dressed very much like they were for the initial meeting with the Supreme Council. The only difference this time is that Kiyone has a GP dress jacket draped across her shoulders, and a Megamian princess’ cloak over the jacket. Tenchi and Kiyone meet in the living room, join hands, and are conducted out of the house and onto the lawn. The guests--all god-only-knows-how-many thousands--are crowded together--after the front ten rows, it’s SRO. Smiling at each other again, they break away from one another and head for the two rows of warriors with weapons raised and crossed--Juraian warriors for Tenchi, and GP officers for Kiyone. These two columns funnel down into one, like the two prongs of a "Y" funnel down into the single support, and the bride and groom join hands once more as they meet at the junction. The column they travel down now is made up of both GPs and Juraian knights. First, there is a pair of GPs with ceremonial swords drawn and crossed in the air over the bride and groom’s heads, and then a pair of Juraian knights with their fighting staffs crossed likewise, and so on and so on. At the end, making the last crossed pair, are Azaka and Kamidake, in their roles as the Commanders of the Royal Bodyguard. Past them, ahead of Tenchi and Kiyone, are several clusters of people. To the right are Keiichi, Makoto, Ryoga, Ranma, and Sagami--the five best men. To the left are Mihoshi, Mitsuki, Nanami, Belldandy, and Ryoko--the five maids of honor. In the center, standing behind a portable altar, is Katsuhito, in full priestly regalia. He has a calm expression on his face, and he nods as the couple, still hand-in-hand, comes to a stop before his altar. "Tenchi Masaki," he intones, "who is this woman you bring before me?" Tenchi bows his head slightly. "Honored elder, this is Kiyone Makibi, the woman I love." "Do you vow to love her with all of your heart, forsaking all other passions, until the day of your death?" Tenchi doesn’t even need to think about it. "Yes, honored elder. I do." "Do you promise to put her needs and desires above and before your own, to defend her with your very life?" "Yes, honored elder. I do." "Do you promise, before the eyes of all gathered here today, to be a gentle and loving husband, a faithful and generous husband, a nurturing and supportive husband, until death takes you?" "Yes, honored elder. I do." "Do you promise to do and be the same as a father for any children that may come of this union?" Tenchi inwardly rolls his eyes. He wouldn’t be standing here if he didn’t intend to. "Yes, honored elder. I do." Katsuhito nods, satisfied. He shifts his attention to Kiyone. "Kiyone Makibi, who is this man you bring before me?" Kiyone mimics Tenchi’s slight bow. "Honored elder, this is Tenchi Masaki, the man I love." "Do you vow to love him with all of your heart, forsaking all other passions, until the day of your death?" As Tenchi before her, Kiyone has no need to hesitate. "Yes, honored elder. I do." "Do you promise to put his needs and desires above and before your own, to defend him with your very life?" "Yes, honored elder. I do." "Do you promise, before the eyes of all gathered here today, to be a gentle and loving wife, a faithful and generous wife, a nurturing and supportive wife, until death takes you?" Come on already! Let’s get to the kissing part! Kiyone thinks fiercely. She says aloud, "Yes, honored elder. I do." "Do you promise to do and be the same as a mother for any children that may come of this union?" "Yes, honored elder. I do." Katsuhito nods once again in satisfaction. He motions for the two to let go of each other’s hands, then produces a saucer of saké and hands it to Tenchi. Instead of sipping from it, however, he smiles at Kiyone and offers it to her. Ignoring the surprise from the rest of the onlookers, Kiyone accepts the saucer and takes a sip. She then hands it back to Tenchi, who returns her bright smile and sips from the very place her lips had touched. The saucer is replaced on the table, and Tenchi takes Kiyone in his arms--not very traditional, but appropriate nonetheless. Katsuhito clears his throat. "By these words spoken, and your actions, you have proven yourselves worthy of spending your lives together. As the elder presiding over this ceremony, I pronounce you husband and wife. While it is not required, it is customary to ki--" He sees that Tenchi has already beaten him to the punch. He and Kiyone are locked in a passionate embrace and are kissing as if the other’s mouth were air. The crowd cheers, and Katsuhito allows himself a small smile. He has to hold that smile for the next five minutes, for it appears that Tenchi and Kiyone are just fine with using each other as breathing apparatus. Finally, they break apart, breathing heavily. Katsuhito then remembers something. "The rings!" Fortunately, in a Juraian ceremony--such as this--the rings are exchanged after the vows and kisses. Mihoshi and Keiichi step forward, each one holding a small, velvet-lined box. Tenchi removes the 24K gold ring with diamond solitaire from Keiichi’s box, while Kiyone does the same with the plain gold ring in Mihoshi’s box. The rings slide onto the ring fingers easily, and Tenchi and Kiyone Masaki--now officially so--turn, still hand-in-hand, to face the crowd of guests. Katsuhito steps out from behind the altar, stands behind the bride and groom, and places a hand on each one’s shoulder. Speaking into a small, collar-mounted mike, he declares, "All that are present, know that Tenchi Masaki and Kiyone Makibi are husband and wife, pledged to each other for the rest of time. You are all witnesses to this holy act. This matter is settled." He releases Tenchi and Kiyone’s shoulders. "All right Tenchi!" yells one of his kendo club compatriots. A cheer rises from the guests yet again, occasionally by faint sobs from the girls of Shinonome High. The reception starts almost immediately. Sasami, Belldandy, Nanami, and Kasumi were kind enough to prepare the refreshment, and six large buffet tables--Belldandy and Kasumi would later apologize, much to Tenchi and Kiyone’s shock, for only producing six tables’ worth of food--hold the results of their toil. Of more immediate interest is the makeshift stage--complete with...that’s right, you guessed it, a karaoke machine--and dance floor. The second the ceremony ended, Kiyone pulled Tenchi onto the floor with her (not that he was protesting by any means). The poor groom spends most of the reception graciously giving dances to any girl who wants one--and since it’s Tenchi, one must literally take a number. Finally, he catches Sagami’s eye, who nods and taps Mihoshi on the shoulder and whispers in her ear. She looks blank for a moment, but her eyes suddenly widen with remembrance. She and Sagami move toward the stage. Tenchi gives them ten minutes, then breaks away from his partner, with a promise for a later dance, and climbs onto the stage. Ranma immediately starts yelling "Speech! Speech!", and the crowd joins in. Tenchi smiles and raises his hands for silence. The crowd goes silent. He picks up the mike. "I’d like to thank you all for coming. This has been a very special day for Kiyone and I, and all of you helped make that possible." The crowd starts cheering again, and he holds up his hand, causing them to lapse back into silence. "About six weeks ago, I noticed all the RSVPs and letters coming in, and all the promises of wedding presents. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to hit you up for more." Laughter. "Anyway, I started trying to think about what I could give Kiyone. Now, I can give her anything she wants--and I have every intention of doing so--but I thought this occasion called for something more personal, something that came from my heart instead of my wallet. And this is what I came up with." He holds up a stapled-together stack of papers with musical notes and bars on them. The crowd is surprised--but not too surprised. Tenchi notes that Kiyone is standing in the very front of the crowd, and that she is smiling up at him. He returns it. "I had a lot of help with this--my dad and Washu, who handle a piano better than I ever could--but the words are mine, and they come from the very core of my being. He looks back at Sagami and Mihoshi, who are smiling reassuringly at him. Both of them are holding cordless mikes. "And so, this is my gift to you, Kiyone-yoni, the first of many." Kiyone’s face is the only one that Tenchi sees. "It’s called ‘Ring of Love.’" He replaces the mike and hops off the stage. Offering his hand to Kiyone, he asks, "May I have this dance?" The look she gives him in response could teach Kasumi or Belldandy something about being sweet. He draws her into his arms, and she rests her head on his shoulder. The music--a piano, backed by the faint sounds of an electric guitar and a snare drum--starts to play, and Sagami and Mihoshi step forward. They start to sing*: I was such a fool, just standin’ there, watchin’ you Oh, so many times I wanted to take you in my arms But I never knew how... You weren’t the only one holding your feelings in Watching all the girls around, I started thinkin’, "How could I compare with them?"; I saw no hope in sight I’m sorry, shoulda said something before... ...Don’t worry, it’s all right But at least we’re here now, it don’t matter how Hold me close through the night... Whenever you get lost, can’t find your way home Just call out my name, and I’ll come running to find you Never gonna let you down When the rain starts to pour, I’ll be there to cover you Keep you safe and warm, I’ll wrap you up inside my arms Hold you tight in our ring of love I’d given up on love so long ago When I met you, I tried to run away My heart was intent on betraying me Very soon, Kiyone and Tenchi are not the only couple slow-dancing on the makeshift dance floor. Even the singles have grabbed the hand of whoever’s handy and pulled them up. There never was anyone else that I wanted From the moment you walked into view My heart was yours, and the offer still stands And it’s like a cool wind in summertime... It’s like a fire in wintertime.... And I want you for all time, whoa-ho-whoa Whenever you get lost, can’t find your way home Just call out my name, and I’ll come running to find you Never gonna let you down When the rain starts to pour, I’ll be there to cover you Keep you safe and warm, I’ll wrap you up inside my arms Hold you tight in our ring of love And we stand here now, making our vows Never gonna leave your side... And we’ll say "I do"... I promise to, I’ll take you as my bride... Whenever you get lost, can’t find your way home Just call out my name, and I’ll come running to find you Never gonna let you down When the rain starts to pour, I’ll be there to cover you Keep you safe and warm, I’ll wrap you up inside my arms Hold you tight in our ring of love Whenever you get lost, can’t find your way home Just call out my name, and I’ll come running to find you Never gonna let you down When the rain starts to pour, I’ll be there to cover you Keep you safe and warm, I’ll wrap you up inside my arms Hold you tight in our ring of love When there’s no where to go, when there’s nothing to know Reach out your hand, I’ll lead you back home, I swear I will I’ll never let you fall You know where to find me, standing right beside you This love is forever, I’m here for good, just wait and see I’ll wrap you up in our ring of love... I’ll hold you tight in our ring of love. As the music dies down and the couples slowly stop dancing, the silence is replaced by applause. Tenchi whispers in Kiyone’s ear, "I love you." She gives him a loving smile. "I love you too." She then gently pulls away from him and winks. "I have a gift for you too. Sami-cha’ya?’ Sasami, with Ryo-ohki on one shoulder and Chana-ohki on the other, appears. "Yes, Mommy?" "Keep your father company." Kiyone winks at her adopted daughter. "Now, don’t you two be naughty!" She climbs onto the stage and takes the mike from Mihoshi. "Thank you, Mihoshi, Sagami, a wonderful job. Wouldn’t you so say, folks?" The crowd cheers once again. "I’m afraid, however, that Tenchi isn’t the only one that wrote a song--with the help of his father and Washu, of course--for this wedding." Her eyes lock onto Tenchi’s, and those around can feel the love passing between these two. After a moment, Kiyone resumes speaking. "My gift to you, on our wedding day, Tenchi-yon. This song. It’s called ‘Forevermore*.’" The music--this time, a soft piano, backed with a synth drum--begins to play: Feel the wind, feel the sun And our new day in paradise has only begun On the sand, by the sea It’s a peaceful oasis made for you and for me Take my hand... This place was always waiting, this beauty all around us The air intoxicating, just like the love that found us Let’s forget who we’ve been, and give in to the dream Maybe life is a song, that’s how it seems... And forevermore we’ll hear the music play Yes forevermore I’ll take you in my arms this way And forevermore we’ll know the melody We will sing forevermore, just like the peaceful sea Once again, the dance floor is packed with dancing couples. This includes Nobuyuki and Misaki. For Misaki, this dredges up memories of her beloved Ryoji, dead fifteen years this fall. How he would have loved to see this day, she muses. Achika is never far from Nobuyuki’s thoughts, and he sends a silent thought to heaven. I hope you’re watching this, love. Past the clouds, past the sky We can only imagine what great mysteries lie Other moons, other stars Close your eyes and together we’ll go wandering far Take my hand... This miracle’s undying, it never will forsake us We’ll always keep on flying, wherever love may take us Let’s forget who we’ve been, and give in to the dream Maybe life is a song, that’s how it seems... And forevermore we’ll hear the music play Yes forevermore I’ll take you in my arms this way And forevermore we’ll know the melody We will sing forevermore, just like the peaceful sea Normally, the song would repeat the chorus one last time, but as she was finishing, Kiyone’s eyes caught Tenchi’s. Letting the last strains play out, she hops off the stage and into his arms. The coronation takes place on Jurai that evening. All the guests from the wedding--after all, enough of them have strange enough lives so that they won’t breathe a word of this to anyone--are present, and, as at the wedding, this is a media frenzy. In fact, Tenchi is so worried about things getting out of hand that he almost doesn’t notice that he and Kiyone have been crowned. One thing he is fully aware of, however, is the assigning of his and Kiyone’s tree-ships. The process begins by taking their swords and nicking their wrists, just enough to draw blood, and dripping the blood into a small pitcher of water from the Fountain of Life. This water is then poured on the roots of two small saplings, looking a little like Ryu-oh’s sapling(that is, one sapling for Kiyone, and one for Tenchi). The blood and the water of the Fountain of Life combine to unlock the saplings’ conversion capabilities. And so, the trees demonstrate. Tenchi’s ship looks like a giant-sized Ryu-oh, with the addition of a long, amethyst crystal bow that is slightly up-hooked at the end. Also, there are four equidistantly placed "wings" on the main body that look very much like Light Hawk Wings. The name he gives it is far from surprising: Kiyone. Kiyone’s looks like a slightly smaller, more streamlined version of the ship that is her namesake, with several long fins placed dorsally and ventrally. The color scheme is like that of Sasami’s old tree-ship. This ship’s name? Tenchi, natch. Following the ceremony, the new emperor and empress are conducted down to the private chambers they had visited during. And, under the watchful eyes of the "monks," they consummate their relationship (though certainly not for the first time). Now, here is where history repeats itself. You see, when Tsunami gave Kiyone the one-shot fertility, she also restored her virginity, which she had been enthusiastically relieved of on their wedding night. Normally, during a woman’s "first time," the "relieving of the virginity" (thank God for euphemisms; otherwise I might have had to write something offensive here!) causes pain. However, there are times when reality fluctuates, when things that never could happen do, and vice versa. In Kiyone’s case, one of these "reality lapses" occurred on the very moment of her first penetration. Time, logic, and pure physics inverted themselves, so, instead of experiencing pain, she achieved...well, let’s just say she experienced the opposite. Neither her nor Tenchi had expected this, and when Tsunami restored her virginity, Tenchi was treating her very much like a China doll, as if afraid that by touching her, he would shatter her. They managed to work past that fear, and Kiyone had steeled herself against her wedding night. She did not expect this to happen a second time. But it did anyway. In fact, this time, she experienced several. (Yeah, I know, not the best topic of conversation. So, anyway, let’s move on...) Just one more thing. When they left the "pool," Tenchi had one small addition to his body: an inverted, triangular Juraian marking in the center of his forehead, flanked by two smaller ones. (Think Light Hawk marking from the OVAs.) A week passes. Tenchi and Kiyone have decided to put off their honeymoon for another week, until after Ryoko and Kyoto’s wedding. The entire household throws themselves into the frantic preparations, even Tenchi and Kiyone--that is, when they’re not too busy practicing for their honeymoon. Finally the blessed day arrives. Morning that day comes far too quickly for the likes of Kyoto. He is sprawled across his and Ryoko's bed -- a small futon rolled out on the floor of Nobuyuki's study-- asleep when the first beams of morning light cut through the tiny slits in the blinds and strikes him in the eyes. The warm sunlight isn't painful, but he finds it rather annoying even though this is the most important day of his and Ryoko's life. As his vision regains its clarity, Kyoto rolls over on one side to look at his sleeping bride-to-be. He thinks to himself as he props his head up on his left arm and strokes her hair with his right hand, Two hundred centuries and hundreds of wives, yet, I have never felt on all those days as I do now. She looks so innocent right now, so peaceful, it's hard to imagine that only a year--no, a few months ago she was a space pirate on the run from the law. Now, she looks as gentle and fragile as a China doll. He is about to think about more when he notices the door snick open and Kiyone and Tenchi walk quietly in. Both of them look extremely tired but equally happy. Since their wedding a week ago, they’ve been taking full advantage of their officially-married status. "Morning, Kyoto. How do you feel?" says Tenchi, seating himself in one of his dad's drafting table chairs. "Like an uneasily stacked house of cards during an earthquake. Think about it, Tenchi. I've faced perils a thousand fold worse than anything people could imagine and not even flinched, yet, on my wedding day I am as frightened as a lost kitten." Tenchi smiles and pats his friend on the shoulder. "Well, I hate to ruin this moment of peace, but it is time for you two to start getting ready." Kyoto moans as he reaches down for his boxers and gingerly pulls them on before following Tenchi out of the room. Meanwhile, Kiyone kneels down beside a still sleeping Ryoko. "Ryoko, honey, come on, it's time to get up." "Kyoto... I don't wanna get up, I'm tired... just let me sleep," she moans, turning her back to Kiyone and burying her head under her pillow. Kiyone lightly places her hands on Ryoko's shoulders and begins to shake her. "Come on, Ryoko. It's your wedding day, remember? It's time to get up, the masseuse is already set up and waiting downstairs, everyone else is off at the shrine getting everything set up. Kyoto is down there waiting for you." This wakes Ryoko up. "Wedding, oh crap..." She immediately goes into a fit of hysterics and worry, during which all Kiyone can do is try to restrain her. After several minutes of coaxing, she manages to finally calm Ryoko down and wrap her in a sarong and put her hair up in a towel. Downstairs, the normal living room has been temporarily converted into a sauna --courtesy of the two most brilliant minds in the galaxy! In the center are two white, padded beds for which the bridge and groom are to be resting during the traditional Japanese pre-marital massage. Kyoto is already resting on one, a towel laying over his posterior. Kiyone helps a still nervous Ryoko onto the other, then once she is lying down, removes her sarong and allows the masseuse to go to work. Once the couple is alone, aside from the two amethyst-haired girls massaging them, Ryoko rests her head facing Kyoto. "Scared?" she finally asks after a tense moment of silence. "Uh, huh," Kyoto nods as he closes his eyes to enjoy the sensation of his muscles being kneaded into relaxation. "Me too. I was afraid that this day might never come or if it did, that something terrible would happen that would separate us." Ryoko stops for a moment as a tiny wave of pleasure ripples through her as she feels the masseuse slowly work some hot oils into her skin. After a moment she then continues, "Kyoto?" "Yes?" "I'm glad... I'm glad we finally decided to do this. I've been waiting for quite a long time for this moment in my life and now it's finally here and--" Kyoto cuts her off by reaching over and placing a finger over her lips. "Shhh... shhh... don't get yourself all worked up, it'll only make you tense again. Right now, you need to be as relaxed as possible." Kyoto retracts his hand to kiss the tips of his index and pointer fingers before extending them back to her lips and pressing those fingers against them. Ryoko smiles and slowly closes her eyes as a light sensation of drowsiness overcomes her body. * * * Kyoto adjusts the collar of his haori-hakama for the fifth time in front of the mirror. He has never been one for dressing formal, and on the day of all days, he is especially touchy about the particulars of his clothes. After having bothered with the blasted thing for the sixth try --for an outfit that looks like a cross between a yukata, a karate gi, and Katushito's normal priest's clothing, he seems to be having the damndest of times getting the thing to look just the way he wants it-- he gives up and settles for this time as being perfect. He is about to go back on this decision when he hears a rap on the door. "Come in, I'm decent." A second later, the door snicks open and Tenchi enters, closing the door behind him. "How are you doing? I just wanted to see if had managed to get your clothes on right." Kyoto smiles and gives Tenchi a friendly punch in the arm. "I've never had a problem dressing myself before. Of course when Ryoko's involved... I suppose some worry is warranted." Tenchi smiles and nods his head. "Yes, I guess it does warrant some worry. But, we should be more worried about Ryoko, she's just going to pieces. I tell you, Kyoto, I've never seen her like this before, you've certainly worked some changes on that girl." "Some would say the same of you with Kiyone," comments Kyoto. Tenchi gestures out the door to Ryoko's room across the hall. "You ready to go?" Kyoto nods and then follows him out of the room. Meanwhile, Kiyone and Ayeka are helping Ryoko into her fourth under-kimono. She is shaking like a willow in a strong wind with a half emptied bottle of Daiginjo saké sitting next to her. Her face is somewhat flushed --more than likely from the saké-- and she can't stop babbling. "I-I-I-- I'm j-j-j-just s-s-s-so n-n-n-nervous. I-I've never b-been married before. I just don't want anything to go wrong." She grunts a little as she dons her fifth under-kimono. "For God's sake, why did Kyoto have to choose a Shinto wedding? This outfit is impossible!" Ayeka smiles as she helps Ryoko, who can barely get her arms up to shoulder level, tie the sash for this kimono. "Actually, Ryoko, I think this makes you look rather dignified. I would be honored if I was in the postion that you're in." "Getting married to Kyoto?" "Well-- no. But, I mean the fact that you're getting married in a very honorable fashion is what I'm implying. And to be marrying someone you love, that's wonderful. Now, all I have to do is wait for Seiryo to propose..." She releases a snort of amusement as she picks up the traditional headdress and wig. "Well, lets get to work on your hair." "Why must I wear that thing!" She complains turning her head and sticking out her tongue. "It looks like an inverted sushi bowl." "Because," soothes Kiyone, "Kyoto asked for it to be completely traditional, well at least the ceremony." Ryoko looks enviously at Kiyone. "I wish Kyoto wanted a Juraian ceremony, like you and Tenchi had. At least you didn't have to wear this stupid wig." Kiyone's face takes on a small expression of pity. "Be strong, Ryoko, be strong. In two hours it'll all be over. Then you can relax and... enjoy your husband's company." "That's another thing I'm jealous about, Kiyone! All Tenchi had to do was lift up your skirt and--" "I think we can save this subject for a later date," interjects Ayeka. "Yes, let’s," agrees Kiyone. Her cheeks are starting to burn, but not from embarrassment. Ryoko's normally spiked hair is now hanging limp down her back and around her shoulders, looking something like Kiyone's usual hairstyle. As Ayeka and Kiyone start her put her hair up into a bun, Ryoko reflects on the irony of the situation. Here she is, she who had been until a few short months ago one of the galaxy's most wanted criminals, and she is getting prepped for her wedding by the Empress of Jurai and a Princess of Jurai, two of the universe's most powerful women. She is considering a quip of some sort, but the combination of them working on her hair and the multiple kimonos she's wearing force her to think otherwise. She's getting rather hot and if it weren't for them, she might not have even gotten this far. If she angers them, they might leave her like this. After an agonizing twenty minutes of fiddling with her hair, Ayeka and Kiyone are sucessful in managing to get it into a bun small enough to fit underneath the traditional wig and head-dress. They quickly place these atop her head, eliciting a moan of discomfort. The wig is rather hot and itchy, combined with the weight of the head-dress, Ryoko is beginning to wonder if she can keep her head up through the entire wedding. It isn't too long after this that Ayeka and Kiyone help her into the final piece of her outfit, the uchikake. Ryoko thinks to herself, This outfit makes me feel like a sardine in a can! I hope this doesn't take too long... * * * Meanwhile, in front of the tired-looking Masaki shrine, Kyoto is waiting near the stairs leading to the shrine. A remarkable thing has happened to him within the last few hours. He has gone from the over-confident, lecherous space pirate, to a rather nervous --not to mention pale-- individual. He is repeatedly wiping the beeds of sweat on his brow and trying to not swallow his tongue as he chokes down the third lump that has formed in his throat. On his right is his mother, the goddess Murasaki, who --if it is possible-- looks even more divine in an extreme ornately version of her traditional goddess robes. She is looking off towards the skyline peeking over the hills of trees surrounding the shrine. Standing next to her is Nobuyuki, who is filling in for his father, who he knows has died well over 200 centuries ago. On his left, just across the walk, Tenchi is standing in Juraian full formal court wear. Once Ryoko arrives, he and Kiyone--who will be similarly dressed--will be filling in for her parents, who are, as far as they know, long dead or missing. Kyoto is about to try and strike up a casual conversation --more to relax his nerves, than for entertainment-- when he hears two sets of feet ascending the last steps leading to the shrine. He wrenches his head around just in time to see Ryoko in her 3uchikake. To him, she looks breath-taking. She came to a stop standing next to him, her eyes looking down at the stone path in front of them. Even though he can't see her face, Kyoto can tell that she is blushing. It is at this moment, that they hear the sounds of a Koto and several other oriental sounding instruments being played. Kyoto nods. "Well, it sounds like it's time to start." With that, he, Ryoko, Tenchi and Kiyone, and Murasaki and Nobuyuki start a slow, solemn procession towards the temple. As they pass under the torii and enter the shrine itself, the music slowly dies away, leaving the group once more in silence. Once through the doorway, they remove their shoes, then Kyoto and Ryoko approach the altar. Katsuhito is already seated in a cross-legged position on the opposite side of the altar. The couple kneels, then bows to him. Sasami, off to one side is kneeling, clad in the traditional garb of a Shinto serving girl and looking indescribably adorable(so what else is new?). She quickly exchanges looks with Katsuhito before rising to her feet and walking over to the altar. She then places the small carry-table she had been carrying, along with the three saucers and a small vessel containg the saké. On each of the saucers is a different emblem: The first is an engraving of a plum, on the second is an engraving of bamboo, and on the third is an engraving of pine. Once she has set the tray down, she bows her head in silent prayer for a handful of seconds, and then returns to a kneeling position at one side of the tray. Katsuhito then nods and unrolls a scroll of faded parchment. With this, he begins the ceremony of san san ku do. He chants off several prayers asking the shrine’s patron diety to bless their wedding, to give them a lifetime of love and devotion, and that their marriage will be prosperous. After which Sasami fills the first saucer, the one of the plum, with saké. Kyoto is first takes the saucer, and takes three ginger sips from it. It is then refilled with saké and passed to Ryoko who does like wise. This saucer is then set aside and the second one, the one of bamboo, is filled and placed before them. This done, he begins another set of prayers, blessing the sacredness of their marriage, may they find joy in their marriage, and that the home they build as husband and wife will be watched upon and guarded. They then repeat the same ritual with the second saucer as they did with the first. Once again, Sasami replaces the saucer and fills it, this time with the final one. Following this comes Katsuhito's third set of prayers, about peace in their new home, and that all the offspring from this holy union may be gifted with good health, and that those said offspring be prosperous. The ritual is repeated once more, and the saucers are taken aside while Katushito makes his final prayers. At this moment, Kyoto stands and turns to face Ryoko, who is still bowing before him. "As your husband, I shall forever keep you in my heart and home. I shall forever protect you and any children that you bear unto me. I shall be faithful and caring to you always and shall expect the same from you toward me." He then bows, sealing the promises he made. Ryoko, then rises to her feet and bows to him. However, quite out of the context of a Shinto marriage, they enfold each other and lock into a long, passionate kiss. During this, Sasami edges her way over to Katsuhito and whispers in his ear. "Are they going to be naughty, right now?!" "Perhaps," intones Katsuhito as he claps his hands in personal prayer. The naughtiness, however, will have to wait till later, for the wind suddenly picks up and a loud shi-ya echoes throughout the shrine grounds. A dark-blue, bat-winged ship topped with a pink dome sweeps into view. "Ken-ohki!" cries out Sasami, clutching Ryo-ohki close. Tenchi and Kiyone draw their swords and light the blades. "What is she doing here?" "I don’t know," replies Tenchi, "but I’m not sure I want to know." The ship disappears from the sky, and its cabbit form appears on the ground, at it’s master’s feet. Tenchi steps in front of the bride and groom, his sword at the ready. "What do you want? Thses two have been pardoned, their bounty is canceled." Nagi meets his gaze calmly, then bows her head. "Lord Tenchi." She does the same to Kiyone. "Lady Kiyone." After a moment, as if gathering strength, she raises her head. "I...I want to apologize for my previous actions. I wish to speak with Ryoko." Tenchi starts to refuse, but is stopped by Kiyone placing a hand on his shoulder. He looks at her in confusion, and then follows her gaze to Ryoko, who is stepping forward. The ex-space pirate looks Nagi in the eye, not with hatred but with appraisal. "Okay, Nagi, whaddya wanna talk to me about?" Nagi hesitates, then pulls a thick manila envelope from inside her cape and hands it to Ryoko. Bemused, Ryoko opens the envelope, draws out the papers, and looks them over. As she does, her face displays her reactions: shock, disbelief, confusion, acceptance, and, finally, elation. Tears of happiness spilling from her amber eyes, she looks at Nagi, and says, in a voice choked with emotion, "Sister." Nagi, for the first time in Ryoko’s memory, smiles at her, not with triumph or smugness, but with happiness. In a voice just as emotion-laden, she whispers, "Little sister," and opens her arms. Ryoko moves as quickly as she can--considering that the uchikake she wears is built for neither speed nor freedom of movement--and they embrace. During the small reception, Nagi explains that she had not found out about their shared blood till only a few weeks before. A supposed "orphan" like Ryoko, she had spent much of her life searching for any clues to her past. This information had come to her via an informant of hers who worked at the Science Academy. However, the information did not include the names of their parents. (Unnoticed by the rest of the cast, Washu shifts uncomfortably.) Nagi also announces that she is retiring as a bounty hunter, and is taking up the role of an explorer. "The money for exploring new galaxies is a lot better than playing GP without the insurance benefits." There is, however, another reason she has come to Earth. Ken-ohki wishes to retire, and start a family with Ryo-ohki. The male cabbit signifies this by presenting the object of his affection with a 24-carrot bundle (apparently, a typical engagement present among Ohkis). Blushing, Ryo-ohki accepts. Nagi watches this with a sad smile, until she feels a familiar weight in her lap. She looks down to see a small black-and-white striped Ohki, about the size of a kitten. It nuzzles her hand, and, smiling, she rubs it under the chin. "Hello, little one," she says softly. "Whose are you?" There is a giggle to Nagi’s side, and she turns to see the little blue-haired girl--The one who makes such good tea, she recalls--smiling up at her. "That’s Tao-ohki," says the young girl. "She’s Ryo-ohki’s niece. When she heard that Ryo-ohki wanted to marry Ken-ohki, she volunteered to take care of you!" To take care of me? thinks Nagi, a little taken aback at first. As the thought sinks in, though, she finds that she likes it. She gently caresses Tao-ohki’s back, and she purrs. Yes, I definitely like the thought, she decides. Nobuyuki stretches and yawns. Finally, he has the house to himself. It has been two days since Kyoto and Ryoko’s wedding. Tenchi and Kiyone have finally left on their honeymoon; they’ll be staying at Kyoto’s beach house in Bali. The second pair of newlyweds are out on the town tonight. Katsuhito has taken Sasami, Ayeka, Mihoshi, and Mitsuki out for a movie and dinner. Nagi and Tao-ohki have left for the Galaxy Exploration Corps base at Alpha Crucis, to begin training. For the first time in far too long, this house is empty save for him. Well, and Washu, but she’ll be in her lab all night. Nobuyuki starts thinking. When Digital Washu had declared that they would fall in love and get married, he had tried to laugh it off. Still, he found himself able to see it. She was the oldest of the girls who lived in his house, and in spite of her playful nature, she was also the most mature (yes, even more so than Kiyone), the one who knew the most about love and how much it hurts to lose love. No, there would be far worse choices than Washu... He gives his psyche a violent shake and reminds himself what he’s here to do. No, you idiot! he shouts at himself. You’ve got to stop doing this to yourself! You call this living? You’re just killing yourself slowly! If Tenchi was here right now, he’d be telling you the same-- With practiced ease, he turns the volume down in that part of his soul and looks down at the box in his hands. What that side of his soul said was true. This is far more destructive than the Suntory, or the cigarettes. Those were just damaging his body. Not his soul. But, this is the one vice he has never been able to deny. And so, he doesn’t. The contents of the box are soon in place. He is ready to begin. He begins. The video starts playing. After a few minutes of blue screen, the image of Achika becomes visible. She is humming to herself while making breakfast. She is wrapped in that old blue kimono, her favorite, the one he had bought for her during their honeymoon in Sapporo. A tear starts to run down his right cheek. It is followed by another, and another, from both eyes, until his shirt is becoming soaked. He doesn’t give a damn. He’s thinking back to the events of a week ago, the day of Kiyone and Tenchi’s wedding. Misaki. In ten and a half years of widowerhood, the only time temptation had won. He has known colleagues who lost their wives, and remarried within a year. Many of them were confused why he didn’t remarry. But how do you tell someone than that half of you--the better half of you--is in the ground, and that any attempts to find it again are doomed to failure? He and Kiyone’s mother had parted on good terms, as friends. He is glad for that. But there is something he wishes had never happened. He had been showing her around the house, and they had been in his bedroom--his and Achika’s bedroom--and he had been showing her pictures of Tenchi growing up, and he still can’t remember quite what happened, but somewhere along the line she had started crying, and he had held her, and they had started kissing, and clothing had started coming off... He supposes that it wasn’t any easier for her. She had called out her dead husband’s name in the middle of it, but he had called out Achika’s name, so, in a rather sick way, they were even. He hopes that she doesn’t blame herself for what happened. She’s too good a woman for that. He imagines that she is thinking the same of him. Still, both know that neither will forgive themselves for what happened. Others might understand, but be confused. Tenchi, who--save Nobuyuki--was hurt most by Achika’s death, would understand, but he would insist that it was time for Nobuyuki to move on. "Dad, I know you miss Mom, but she wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life pining for her. She would want you to move on and be happy..." Let’s see how easy it would be for you to "move on" if Kiyone died... But that’s something that Nobuyuki hopes that his son never understands. His hand pauses the tape just as Achika turns around to look at him, so she is smiling over her shoulder at him. This tape was made on Nov. 22, 1986, just a few days before she... Nobuyuki finally removes his glasses and buries his face in his hands. Between sobs, he whimpers, "I’m sorry, Achi-chan, I’m so sorry, I tried, for so long I tried, but I couldn’t...couldn’t control myself...please forgive me..." He sobs this over and over, unaware of the silent figure standing in the shadows, her eyes shut and trickling tears in sympathy. The End A last note: This is the result of trying to pack too many ideas in, and finding that they weren’t as well-formed as we thought they were. So much for planning an episode months in advance. We hope the finished product is worth the long wait. Footnotes: * Carte blanche: "Blank check." Basically, the right to do as you wish concerning a specific matter. * Trust me, the Japanese version sounds better. Of course, I've never heard an English version of this. * C. Scientific and mathematical term for light-speed. *I have finally worked out the system of Juraian affectionate address. They are as follows: -cha'ya: "Beloved daughter." Term of affection for one's daughter(s). Also, term of affection for a wife from her husband. -cha'yo: "Beloved son." Term of affection for one's son(s). Also, term of affection for a husband from his wife. -kai'ya: "Beloved niece." Term of affection for one's niece(s), or for the daughter(s) of a friend. -kai'yo: "Beloved nephew." Term of affection for one's nephew(s), or for the son(s) of a friend. -sha'ya: "Beloved sister." Term of affection for one's sister(s), female cousin(s), and close female friend(s). Also, another term of affection for a wife from her husband. -sha'yo: "Beloved brother." Term of affection for one's brother(s), male cousin(s), or close male friend(s). Also, another term of affection for one's husband from his wife. Expect to see these put to vigorous use in future episodes. * Oji-chama! Doko nano? See Tenchi Universe eps. 21 for an explanation (subtitled, unless you're good at Japanese lip-reading. * You think this was a stupid joke? So do I. But I'm not removing it. * Megamikai: The Goddess World. On the rare occasion we bring up this planet, that is the name we will use for it. (See MTM!, eps. 9 and 10.) * Yuki-cha'ya story: The Juraian equivalent of the Cinderella story. * I'm sorry, were you expecting something profound? * HV: Holo-vison--but I'm sure you already guessed that. * Shinkansen: The bullet train. * Shinai: A sword made of bamboo. Shinai and bokken are a mainstay of kendo. * Chong-sam: Those tight, sexy Chinese-style dresses that I would kill to see Kiyone in...but I digress. * Gaijin: A Foreigner. * And yes, they do have driving ranges in Japan! The things are just multiple stories tall, so you have people firing off golf balls from a couple levels up above your head. * Kappa: a demon. * Bishojo: "Pretty girl." It seemed an appropriate name for an all-girls college full of winsome young beauties. * The Fountain of Life: The galaxy at large has antiaging drugs--are in the twelfth generation of said drugs, in fact--that come close to matching this lifespan. The AA drugs slow aging down to one year for every seven hundred lived. Consequently, lifetimes of several thousand years are the norm. These drugs have been around since the inception of the GF--i.e., five thousand years--and are completely safe. (And yes, these drugs work just fine on non-humans.) (Final note: the citizens of the Republic of Jurai have access to a slightly watered-down version of the Fountain of Life's water, which slows aging to one year for every eight hundred.) * Boldface: The guy's part (usually Tenchi's; in this case, Sagami's). Underlined: The girl's part (usually Kiyone's; in this case, Mihoshi's). Plain italics: Both. * Actual credits: Japanese lyrics by Natsuko Karedo; English lyrics by Lorraine Feather; Music and Arrangement by Seiko Nagaoka. (This is Ryoko's song from TV episode 13.) * I heard it somewhere on a TLC program about Japanese weddings that before the wedding there is a traditional massage for groom. The bride I'm unsure about. However, the writer can put whatever he wants, so hah-hah-hah. * A haori-hakama is the wedding outfit worn by a Japanese groom. The haori is a type of jacket which is worn in combination with the hakama (the long, pant/skirt-like piece worn around the waist). Underneath this is two yukata or kimono, depending on your source. * A large, intricately embroidered over-kimono worn by the bride. * The sacred arch , which helps demarcate the sacred area of the shrine. * The Shinto ritual during which the bride and groom each take three sips of sake from three different saucers, for a total of nine sips each (san means three, ku means nine, and do means times). [Image][Image][Image][Image][Image]