fcasper *TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO) EPISODE 16: OSCAR TOON PT. 1 (A Sailor Moon/Dragon Ball Z/Warner Brothers Oscarfic MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. "Tiny Toons" and the "Warner Brothers" characters are the property of Steven Speilburg and Warner Brothers and all the distributors of their work. "Dragon Ball" is the property of Akira Toriyama and all the distributors of his work. "Oscar Toon" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend this person for making fun of his/her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) Warning: This fic contains mature content and a pinch of lemon. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! (Cue "Mystery Science Theater 6.7 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....) It's the not-too-distant future, Last Sunday BC There was this guy named Joel Not so different from you or me He worked at Gizmonic Institute Just another guy in a red jumpsuit He did a great job cleaning up the place, But his bosses really hate him So they shot him into space!!!! Joel: (OH....MY....GODDESS!!!) Crow and Tom: (IT'S MEGAMI-SAMA!) (Instead of holding messed up video, Frank's holding a computer printout.) We'll send him crappy fanfics The worst we can find (lalala) He'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor his mind (lalala) (Instead of where it shows the guys watching the movie, it shows them ducking behind their seats for 'Artemis's Lover'.) Now keep in mind Joel can't control When the fanfics begin or end (lalala) Because he used those special parts To make his robot friends; ROBOT ROLL CALL: CAMBOT: 'Text only'? Gypsy: 'Oh, my!' Tom Servo: 'Sweet-o!' CROOOOOOOW!!! 'I'm not a hentai!' If your wondering how Joel eats and breathes And other science facts (lalala) Then repeat to yourself *It's just a MiST* You should really just relax for MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7!!!! LAST TIME ON MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7.... Tatewaki Kunou sat in his dressing room, perhaps for the last time. He had a lot of good memories here. Photos of his past shows, people he had met along the way, places he had visited in his long and industrious career. He felt a pang of regret that he had to retire now, that people just weren't seeing him as much as they used too. His manager had warned him to retire while he was on top but the truth was that he had loved the stage so much that he couldn't bear to leave until he felt he was ready. Now his manager had left him, along with a tidy share of his money from the divorce settlement. Nabiki never did understand his needs fully, never understood that to him, his audience was his oxygen and without it he would die, perhaps not on the outside, but on the inside. Then the door opened and the stage manager stuck his head in the door. "Five minutes, Mr. Kunou!" "That's UPPERCLA...." Kunou trailed off as the door was already closed, his scolding unheeded. Kunou sighed and then put the finishing touches on his make-up. If tonight truly was his last performance then he would make it his finest. He owed nothing less to his fans. * * * "And now ladies! As manager of "The Blue Thunder" it's my pleasure to introduce the star of our show, the personification of poetry, the excellence of elegance, Ladies, Here's is Tatewaki Kunou!" The cheers were deafening as Kunou made his way on stage dressed in a tuxedo and with cape and hat to match. Kunou bowed towards his audience and then the lights went out and a single spotlight illuminated him as he began to speak. "Ladies, this will be my final show and...." "TAKE IT OFF!!! TAKE IT OFF!!!" The women drowned him out. "Must they always interrupt my opening speech?" Kunou sighed inwardly as he began to strip for the ladies.... WHOOPS. WRONG SYNOPSIS AGAIN. MY FAULT. HERE'S WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENED. JOEL AND THE BOTS HAD FINISHED MSTING *TRAPPED* AND JUST FINISHED A SPOOF ON QUAKE.... Dr. Forrester turned to the viewscreen. "Oh yes! Very amusing skit there, Joel. And speaking of rocking your world, it's time for you to witness the horror that is *Oscar Toon*! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Send them the fanfic, Frank...." "Yes, Dr. F...." Frank replied calmly as he slowly walked towards the filing cabinet and rummaged through it, all the while drooling like an toothless infant. He found it a few moments later and slowly walked over to Dr. Forrester to hand him the fanfic. "Good job, Frank. Why don't you lie down now for a little while and give your surgical scars time to heal up...." Dr. Frank said gently as he guided his assistant in the direction of his room. "What did you do to him?" Tom inquired aloud. "Why, I gave him a pre-frontal lobotomy, of course!" Dr. Forrester replied matter-of-factly. When he saw the shocked and dismayed looks from Joel and the bots, he shrugged. "I'm an evil scientist. You don't earn that honor by being a pussy. Besides, Frank signed the proper forms, he doesn't have a say in the matter anymore...." Dr. Forrester added before sending the Oscarfic through. * * * "Boy that Dr. F is one mean, son of a mamajama...." Joel muttered as he put the Quake 6.7 box away. "Ah, Frank's survived worse and Dr. F can't keep him like that forever. He'll be back to normal before too long...." Crow replied. "Yeah, if there's one thing Frank's proved over the years, it's that he's a Timex. He can take a licking and keep on ticking...." Tom remarked. "Well guys, the Oscarfic will be here any minute. You ready?" Joel asked his robot friends. "As ready as we'll ever be...." Crow replied. "No guts, no glory...." Tom replied. Joel smiled down at his creations. "That's the way, guys. Together, there's nothing we can't overcome. Not even an...." Suddenly, alarms and sirens suddenly rang out. "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT OSCARFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out. (Door 6: It slides open on both sides.) (Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on.) (Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.) (Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling.) (Door 2: It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and touches the door. The door vanishes.) (Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. Crow: Personally, I can't wait to see that door sequence animated.... >Sailormoon Z Episode 14 "Oscar toon?" Tom: 14!?!?! ARRRRRRRRRRGHHH!!!!!! (Tom's head explodes with a flash of pyrotechnics and a shower of sparks.) Joel: Tom, it's way too early for that.... Crow: Yuck! It's all over the floor! Joel: We're in a theater. I doubt anyone will notice the difference.... >Written by Oscar "Artemis's Lover" Crow: There's only one.... Tom: (coughing as smoke rises from his bubbledome) Thank goodness.... >mail= oscarmartinez@hotmail.com Crow: Let's not and say we didn't.... Joel: With all the flames he gets, it's no wonder he uses hotmail.... >Important note: For those of u who haven't read my last 14 fanfics, Crow: U are one lucky S.O.B.... Tom: Congratulations! You're not blind! Joel: You've probably missed it on purpose. >let me make clear some things. Tom: (imitating Nixon) Let me make one thing perfectly clear.... Joel: That'll be the day.... Crow: ....when pigs fly.... Tom: ....in a frozen hell. >1st Beleive it or not, i AM a real life Herm, Joel: Somehow I doubt anyone's going to want to confirm that fact.... Crow: Get Ripley on the phone! He'll believe it! Tom: Or not.... >2 i'm 13 (14 from "That girl" and on, but in real life i'm still 13, Tom: ....snowflakes short of a blizzard? Crow: ....cards short of a full deck? Joel: (imitating Oscar singing) I am 13, going on 14.... Crow: He ain't deep, that's for sure.... >3 Artemis is now a 14 girl, Tom: ....and that's just the first string! Crow: He's turned into a harem! Joel: Does Ataru Moroboshi know about this? Tom: Artemis must have fallen into a Jusekyou Spring.... Crow: Or Natsume Kyuusaku transferred his brain into an android body.... >with her respective crescent moon on the forehead, Joel: Artemis turned into Princess Serenity? Crow: Either her or Sailor Marissa.... Tom: (shudders) Don't go there, Crow.... >and white hair, Joel: Artemis turned into Iron Mouse? Tom: So Artemis is no longer a cat? Great! That means no more bestiality scenes! WOO HOO!!! Crow: So what? I'll bet Oscar, the happy hermaphrodite, hasn't changed a bit.... Tom: Ughhh....hadn't thought of that.... Joel: *Happy hermaphrodite*? >still with blue eyes, Joel: Ol' blue eyes is back.... Crow: Oh, Frank! How could you! >and she doesn't live with Mina, but with me Tom: Next time on Jerry Springer, hermaphrodites and the young girls that love them.... Crow: Knowing Springer, he'd probably bring out the fathers of the girls too. Then you'd see some *REAL* fistfights.... >(Read first my first fanfic ever "Artemis's Lover") OK? Tom: Not for all the ram chips in the universe, buddy.... Crow: Been there, done that, puked hard.... >Notes: Well even if Eiji DID infact died, there's no reason that evil >has died too, Crow: This fic is living proof of that.... Joel: Eiji? Isn't he a fighter from Battle Arena Toshinden? Tom: After the BAT anime bombed, Eiji's career hit rock bottom as he was forced to work as an extra in an Oscarfic.... Joel: Sad, really... >something strange is happening a unknown life form is coming from >another dimension... Crow: (imitating Rod Serling) A dimension of sight and sound and cat loving hermaphrodites.... Tom: You are about to enter....THE OSCAR ZONE. All: Do do do do....do do do do....do do do do.... >and who knows..what will happen now. Tom: (deep voice) ... the *Shadow* knows... Joel: The future isn't what it used to be.... Crow: Oscar, on the other hand.... >Intro: Joel: ....ducing? Crow: ....spection? Tom: In an Oscarfic? Not bloody likely.... >"So...this is earth. So beautiful...and it'll soon be destroyed..." Crow: A public service message from Greenpeace.... Tom: Then the Moonmen will rule the solar system! Joel: Hercules can't stop them now! Bwahahahaha!!! >A grown man's voice said, inside a glowing red sphere, Crow: (imitating man) Help! Let me out! I can't breathe in this thing! Mommy! Joel: Oh, act your age! You're a grown man now. Tom: A desperate Santa Claus trapped Herbie the Misfit Elf in a giant red Christmas Tree Ornament.... >it approached the earth slowly. Tom: (deep voice) Slowly it turned....Inch by inch....step by step.... Crow: Joel, why is it every alien race or object that tries to attack Earth always moves so slowly? Why can't they move at the speed of light and wipe us out in a few seconds? Tom: They're enjoying a slow ride and taking it easy? Joel: Nah, It's like this. The aliens underestimate the human spirit, they need our planet for it's natural resources and it gives a bunch of actors valuable screen time to advance their sagging careers! Crow: Oh. I thought it was because Spielberg has a deal with them to portray aliens as soft and cuddly so we'll be unprepared when they arrive to wipe us out.... Joel: You've been hanging around USENET too long.... Tom: ....or been reading one of Ron Patton's posts.... >The man then came out of the darkness and he said to his assistant >"Kaoline" Tom: Not to be confused with Kaopectate! Joel: (singing) Sweet Kaoline.... >the woman named Kaoline appeared and saluted him "Yes master?" Tom: (imitating man) GET ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS SPHERE!!! Crow: (imitating Kaoline) I can't do that sir. Not until we drop it through a black hole and see if it can withstand the pressure.... >the man then turned around to her with a wicked smile "You know >what to do," Crow: (imitating Kaoline) Not till you show me the money, honey.... Joel: Crow.... >Kaoline grinned and disappeared "Yes master". Tom: She went to the city to star in her own sitcom for NBC.... Joel: Kaoline doesn't strike me as the assertive type.... Crow: Not that that's a *bad* thing. Joel: Crow... >"Oscar toon?": Joel: (imitating Daddy-O) I want an answer! Crow: I've often wondered.... Tom: Maybe if Ralph Balski or Harry Crumb drew it.... >Serena and Luna where in the bathroom, Tom: How should we know? You're the author! You're supposed to tell us for crying out loud! >Serena's silk skin now shiny from the warm water that stroke >her gently, Joel: Shiny silk skin? What is she made of? Velour? Tom: Yes, it's the future of shower massage: Stroking Water! Crow: (slyly) Exactly what would it be stroking? Joel: Crow.... >Luna never saw Serena THIS hot... Joel: ....since the last time Luna flushed the toilet when she was taking a shower.... Crow: (imitating Serena) EYOWWWWW!!!! Luna no baka!!! Tom: Serena's steaming mad at dirt.... >well legally i mean he he :P, Crow: Go stick that tongue where the sun don't shine! Tom: I think he already did.... Crow: Ugggh.... >and she finally managed to speak "Umm Serena" Joel: (imitating Luna) Sorry about that....I thought you were Norman Bates.... >Serena looked down to her "Yes deary" Tom: ....and your little dog, too! Crow: Once upon a midnight weary, mine eyes red, burned and teary, I came upon a lemon, leery, and fainted from my own inquiry.... Joel: Cute, Crow.... >Serena picked Luna and held her closely, Tom: (imitating Serena) There there deary.... >Luna blushed a little for seeing her lover's breast, All: WHAT?!? Crow: Oh man! First it was Artemis and Oscar, now it's Serena and Luna! WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?!?! Joel: Calm down guys! They aren't at lemon stage yet. Tom: Joel, they're naked and hugging in the shower! They're practically there already! Joel: Stay frosty.... Crow: What are you, Tony the Tiger? >and said "Don't u think it's been a little quiet lately?" Serena smiled >and replied Joel: (imitating Serena) Too quiet, deary.... Crow: (imitating Serena) I don't pay you to think, deary.... Joel: Crow.... >"Yes Luna, but enjoy it while it lasts, maybe we'll meet a new enemy >tomorrow, Tom: If there's a god, it'll be Flynn from *R*P*M*.... Crow: Oh man, that'd be an awesome crossover! I can picture Flynn hurling his spiky balls, chunkifying Oscar's.... Joel: Crow.... >or something may come up", Tom: Yeah, like our lunches.... Joel: Let's hope that's the only thing that comes in this scene.... Crow: Ick, Joel! >Luna then sighed and said under her breath "I will Serena". Joel: Then by the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you sickos! Crow: Then they can tie some *tennis* to the back of their car.... >Luna then leapt out of her arms and almost slipped in the floor, Crow: (imitating Luna) Woah! Where did this gaping hole come from?!? Tom: (imitating Bugs Bunny) Oops, sorry about that, doc! >as she thought "Ough...first time bath isn't so bad is it?". Joel: And she's been avoiding it all these years.... Crow: (imitating Luna) Hey! My fur's white again! >Artemis and Oscar where breathing a lil fast, Tom: A marathon in San Francisco? How the hell should we know *where* they are?!? Joel: The author should really keep better track of his characters.... Crow: Can't really blame them for trying to flee, this being an Oscarfic and all.... >they hugged each other feeling their warmth, Crow: You know guys, even though Artemis is supposed to be a 14 year old girl now, I still feel ill.... Tom: I'm with him, Joel. Joel: Maybe it's just an actress pretending to be Artemis. After all Artemis got engaged to Minako at the Chicken Ball awards, remember? Crow: What actress in her right mind would do a love scene with Oscar?!? >"Oscar...uhmmm, thank you..", Artemis said with her eyes closed, Joel: (imitating Artemis) Is it over yet? Crow: (imitating Artemis) Can I get paid now? Tom: So, how did a magical cat turn into 14 girls, again? >Oscar smiled at her and kissed her forehead, and left her in the bed. Crow: (imitating Oscar) You stay there and don't even think about chewing on my *tennis* or *putting* on my undies! Joel: Crow.... >He then went to the bathroom and came out with his WF shirt on, Tom: Weird Freak? Crow: Whipped Felicia? Joel: Wicked Fart? Crow: Wretched Fool? Joel: Wants Felines? Tom: Why Frogned? >and crawled into the bed with his love, Crow: Oh, and Artemis was there too... Tom: (imitating Barry White) Can't get enough of your love, babe.... Joel: Good Barry White, Tom.... >and finally doze off to sleep. Joel: SLEEP!!! Crow: Sleep no more! Artemis shall sleep no more! Tom: Something wicked this way comes.... >Meanwhile, in the red glowing sphere, Crow: He's dead, Jim.... >Kaoline sat in her comp. All: TOGGG!!! Tom: Maybe the MCP pulled her into the system? Crow: Oh well. She's better off playing the game and dying plain, anyway.... >and looked at Oscar's stats Tom: (imitating Kaoline) Let's see....good height....average weight.... Oh yuck! There's NO way I'm cybering with a hermaphrodite! Joel: Tom.... >"Hmmm so he is the last of the Saiya-Jins... Crow: No wonder they're dying out.... >good he'll be terminated NOW!" she pressed a red button, All: (begin humming the MST3K Love Theme) >and a youma was sent to earth, but it was a little dif, than the other >youmas, Joel: What's the dif? Crow: I can't see the dif? Can you see the dif? >a white beam followed it All: (singing) Really Really White....It's really, really, really, really white.... >, the white beam silently stroke Oscar's body Joel: (singing) Dif Strokes....Dif Strokes.... Tom: Yes, from the people that brought you *Stroking Water*, now you can *really* relax when you curl up in your favorite chair to read a book while our *Stroking Light* gives you the best massage of your life.... Crow: (slyly) I'd still like to know what exactly is being stroked.... Tom: The breast? Joel: You guys.... >and vanished him and the youma inside the TV world. Tom: Stayed tuned for further developments.... Crow: Oh good, while he's in there he can search for the survivors from Kidd Video.... Joel: Even the Master Blaster wouldn't want Oscar for a musical slave.... >Oscar's Saiya-Jin sence didn't warned him about the beam. Tom: Mainly, because he didn't have an ounce of *sense*. Joel: The sence was enjoying the stroking beam too much.... >The Youma and Oscar landed on dif sides of the new dimension Crow: What's the dif? Tom: One side's the third, the other's the fifth? How the hell should I know?!? Joel: Oscar's doing his bit to conserve internet bandwidth by compressing the word "difference" into "dif." >they where, Joel: Don't know. Tom: Care less. Crow: Go hell. >Oscar woke up and gasped as he was falling from high above, Joel: But the little bushman didn't know what to make of the hermaphrodite.... Crow: From high above the city, it's a bird....no, it's a plane....no, it's....A HERMAPHRODITE!!! Tom: Quick, Oscar, flap your arms! >he tryed to float in the air like he does Crow: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.... Joel: What does he think he is, an Oni? Tom: Nah, he wasn't horny enough. Joel: (groans) >but none of that worked, Crow: ....so he splattered all over the pavement at Mach 3, The End. Joel: Wishful thinking.... Tom: Oscar made like the Titanic and took a dive....literally. Crow: (imitating Oscar) Damn it! My dealer told me I'd be flying with this stuff for at least another hour! Joel: Crow.... >he tryed to do a Kame-Hame-Ha but it was to small to make him float, Crow: (imitating Oscar) Ah crap, of all the Hawaiian kings out there, I get stuck with the one on Slim-fast.... >finally he smashed into the cold cold ground. Tom: (imitating Taz) Why for you want to bury Oscar in the cold, cold ground?! Joel: Let us now have a moment of silence for our friend Oscar and his tragic end.... >BOOOMSHACALAKA!. Joel: Thank you. Tom: (sniffs) That was beautiful....and somehow appropriate.... Crow: Is he on fire yet? >Oscar slowly stood up and thought "Wha...? i'm alive?" Joel: And so are the hills, with the sound of music! Crow: Hope they all find some Nazis.... Tom: Amen. >He then looked around and saw that everything was animated Tom: He's fallen into Cool World? Crow: All right! Bring on Kim Basinger! Joel: Even Holli *wouldn't* with Oscar.... >"What the..?" Joel: Dilly-o? Crow: Dif? >he thought as he was in the middle of the street and all of the cars >where beeeping at him Crow: The censors for this fic had to put in overtime.... Tom: (imitating motorist) Hey you (beep) Get your (beeping beep beep) out of your (beep) and (beep) before I (beep) your (beeping beep beep)!?!?! Joel: Should that be *[Unprintable]* *[Unprintable]* *[Unprintable]*? Crow: Only in a Flashman fic.... >"Hey get outta the road!! you bum!" Oscar turned around and saw >none other than Yosemite sam! Crow: Moments later, the goofy meter blew sky high.... Tom: (imitating Yosemite Sam) Great hornytoads! It's one of them gosh durned hermowhatyamacallits!!! You're coming with me, varmint! >"Oh GOD!" Tom: (deep voice) YOU RANG....? Crow: You devil? Joel: ....ess? >he realized he was in Looney Tune/Tiny toon land Tom: And the sound of Disney breathing a long sigh of relief could be heard in the distance.... Crow: Yeah, after they finished laughing their asses off.... Joel: Time-Warner's buying up everything. They even own Oscar now! Tom: *HIM* they can have! >but he didn't knew if he was still a Saiya-Jin or not, Joel: He should really *knew* better than that.... Crow: (imitating Oscar) I *knowed* it but I *helded* my tongue.... >so he immediatelly searched for a mirror, Joel: He's so vain, he needs to know if he's still the fairest of them all.... Crow: Five will get you ten that he'll have no reflection.... Tom: (imitating Oscar) Seven years bad luck! That's what I need right now! >and looked to himself, Joel: (imitating Oscar) Hmmm, now what would I do if I were placed in a situation like this.... >"No way...ha ha ha ha!!" Crow: He's become The Joker! Tom: I guess that would make Felicia, Catwoman. Thank you! Joel: And Artemis as Harley Quinn? >He went a lil nutty as he saw he was a 14 year old skunk. Crow: How apropos.... Joel: (gives the ok sign with his fingers) He stinks! Crow: Just like this fic! Tom: Shouldn't he have turned into a squirrel if he went a lil nutty? Crow: Nah, he'd need bigger nuts! Joel: Crow.... >He had a big fat smile on his face, Tom: That's right! We've got fat goofy smiles, we've got thin, tight lipped, smiles, we've got smiles of all shapes and sizes! So come on down to the "Nuku Nuku School of Smiling" at http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/sterman/fanfic.htm Joel: (imitating Nuku) Not only am I the founder of the Nuku Nuku School of Smiling....I'm perfect in every way! Just read "Transitions" and see for yourself! Crow: And remember kids, we don't show you how to smile....you show us. >and laughed out loud "A ha ha ha!!! i can't believe it! ha ha ha" Tom: (imitating Oscar) All this time I've been a furry green muppet and I never ever knew! Guess the joke's on me! Joel: Cute, Tom.... >but then, he tought Crow: ....the theory of relativity? Tom: ....the relationship between energy and matter? Joel: ....he saw a bad old putty tat? >"Wait a min....how did i got here?... Crow: Kidnapped he got by badly dubbed kidnapper type guy.... Joel: Billy Quan's gonna teach Oscar some manners.... Tom: (Badly-dubbed Billy Quan voice) You wight self-insertion fanfic! Now you must DIE! Joel: Kids! Be like Billy! >and how do i get back?..." Joel: (singing) Get back to where you once belonged..... Crow: (singing) Back in the U.S.S.R..... Tom: (singing) You know if you break my heart I'll go, but I'll be back.... >He then took a walk, having that same sequence in his mind, Crow: (imitating Oscar) Let's see....Shampoo, rinse, screw....Shampoo, rinse, screw.....Shampoo, rinse.... Joel: CROW! Crow: (shakes his head) Sorry, sorry, had a flashback of "Nekophilia" there for a moment.... Tom: (imitating Shampoo) Aiya.... >then suddenly 3 Joel: (singing) ....kings of Orient are... Crow: (singing) ....tried to smoke a rubber cigar.... Tom: (singing) .....it was loaded, it exploded....heh heh heh.... Crow: There's your *BOOOMSHACALAKA*, Oscar.... >"I know! in that movie Space jam, Joel: Oh yeah! That multimillon dollar shameless exploitation of the Warner Brothers to sell more McDonald's crapola! Tom: Hey, it wasn't nearly as exploitive as...."THE WIZARD". Joel: That's true.... Crow: (imitating whiny kid) CALIFORNIA!!! Tom: (imitating tough kid) I love the Power Glove....It's *SO* bad.... Crow: (imitating Fred Savage) You got 50,000 points on Double Dragon!?!?! OH MY GOD!!! Joel: Uh, guys? Tom: (imitating annoying girl) HE TOUCHED MY BREASTS!!! Crow: (imitating announcer) IT'S SUPER MARIO BROTHERS.....3!!! Joel: Guys! Can we get back to the MSTing now please? Crow: Oh! Sorry about that Joel, just reminiscing.... >Mike Jordan was pulled from the sky i think...out of a big WB sign" Tom: And the WB network cancels yet another cartoon show.... Joel: (imitating Earthworm Jim) Join the club, pal.... >He then looked up to the sky and there it was "Whoa, there it is, the >BIG WB Crow: (imitating Jimmy Durante) He's under a big WB.... Joel: (imitating Oscar) Damn! There's never a shovel when you need one! >all i hafta do is get up there and i'm outtie!" Tom: ....of his mind. Crow: of the closet? Joel: Crow.... Tom: *Outtie*....Must be an Oscar-ism. >he grinned and then re-thought "But wait a min...there's still a lotta >things to do here he he he" Tom: Like writing his manifesto.... Crow: (imitating Oscar) i refuse to leave this world until i've screwed it up in every possible way! Characterization! Plot development! Continuity! THEY ALL MUST DIE!!! HE HE HE!!!! Joel: (singing) He's got a lotta living....to do..... Tom: Where's Flynn and his spiky balls when we *REALLY* need them? >He remembered how much he wished that someday, some how Tom: Somewhere.... >he could be here and do so much stuff. All: (singing Weird Al) He's got the white stuff....baby.... >"Alright! now i can meet Babs and Buster B. no relation he he he" Crow: Yep. No relation to Oscar whatsoever. Tom and Joel: (imitating Buster and Babs) Thank goodness.... >he then was about to run to the Acme Looniversity, but he looked >straight and made a DUH face, Crow: Witness yet another of the many talents of Oscar.... Tom: Well, Duh! Anybody can do that! Joel: Nobody does it quite like him, though.... All: (singing) And....nobody does it better.... >as the Looniversity was right in front of him Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, i thought it was right under my nose, he he he.... >"DUH there it is...i wonder if there's someone inside..depends if it's >school day" Joel: To recap: Duh. Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, i hate school day! Must crush school! No more school day! He he he.... Crow: If the Looniversity is anything like Oscar's school from "That Girl", he'll have no problems.... Joel: At least a 20 hour school day makes *sense* in Loony Toon Land.... >he climbed the steps as his "unique" odor killed literally all of the >nearby flowers, Crow: OH MY GOD! HE KILLED THE PETUNIAS!!! YOU BASTARD!!! Joel: Guess those flowers won't be presenting The King of Cartoons anymore.... Tom: Poison Ivy is not amused.... >he looked back and chuckled "Oh yeah i remember that gag" All: (groans) Crow: (imitating Garfield) People that write puns like that should be strapped to the cold table at the vet, with Nermal bouncing on their stomach, and forced to listen to all 4,444 volumes of Binky's Greatest Hits before being dragged out into the street to be shot.... Joel: Hey, a pun is its own reword.... Tom: (imitating The Brain) Quiet Joel, or I shall have to hurt you.... >he got inside the Looniversity and took left corridor, Tom: Go west, young hermaphrodite! Joel: Where the air is fresh.... Crow: The stray dogs plentiful.... >Gogo-Dodo, the hall monitor came up from behind and yelled "GOGO >GOGO! Tom: WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU! WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU! Crow: MONSTER-A! MONSTER-A! Joel: JOSEPH!!! Crow and Tom: Huh? Joel: Andrew Lloyd Webber reference. Crow and Tom: Oh. >if yer late for class yer.." Tom: The role of Gogo Dodo will now be played by the Swedish chef.... Crow and Joel: BORK! BORK! BORK! >Oscar then smiled and they both said at the same time Tom: Third base? Joel: Stereo? Crow: Schwing? >"COCO COCO!" Crow: They need Cocoa Puffs and they need em now! >he laughed out loud and Gogo-Dodo was a lil bewildered, Tom: (imitating Gogo) That's a nono! He must be loco! Don't wanna be in this fic, nomo! >so he smashed himself with a mallet and disappeared, Crow: If only we could be so lucky.... Joel: Where did Gogo learn to summon hammerspace? >Oscar stood up and found a door that said "Class 101" or sumthing, Joel: Better enroll quick, Oscar. Before your spelling and grammar get even worse.... Tom: (singing) Sumthing tells me i'm into sumthing bad.... Crow: (Imitating Oscar) Duh, i betta get meself a edjumecation >"Hmmm i wonder what's in there?" he said sarcastically, he stood up >in his heels to take a peek, Crow: Oscar wears pumps? Who woulda thought? Tom: Me! Me! I would! >and smiled as he saw, Buster and DA gang Crow: District Attorney? Joel: Dyslexics Anonymous? Tom: DA Bulls? Crow: DA Bears? Joel: DA nerve?!? >inside with tech, Elmer fudd Tom: Having failed as a wabbit hunter, Fudd found a promising caweer in electronics.... Crow: (imitating Fudd) Do you want to make mowe money? Suwe, we AWW do! Joel: (imitating Fudd) Wight then, now which battewy should I use in my wight to to fix the wadio? I need the wight to see the wight wire to wip out and wepair.... Tom: And you thought *your* English class was a nightmare? >Fifi had a lil magazine under her desk, Joel: (imitating Fudd) No weading in cwass! >Babs was sleeping, Joel: (imitating Fudd) No sweeping in cwass! >Buster was making a lil joke letter, Crow: (imitating Buster writing) Dear Mr. Fudd. I am a gweat admirwer and wish to meet you awone after school. Sincewey, Wightous babe. >Plucky was with his walkman on, Joel: (imitating Fudd) No wistening to Wock Music duwing cwass! I told aww of you this befowe! Don't you Wisten? Can't you understand pwain Engwish?!?! >Shirley with her "HO WAYU WAYU WAYU" stuff, Tom: Like, the hell!?! Crow: Like, Shirley's really wayu wayu wayu out there.... Joel: (imitating Fudd) Wike, read my rips....No mowe new age cwap in my cwass! >and Max making money sketches. Tom: Kinda gives new meaning to the phrase *Show me the money*.... Crow: (imitating Max) Yes, once Warner Brothers goes bankrupt and I buy them out, Buster and Babs will be on the streets and then it'll be "THE MONTANA MAX SHOW!!!" BWAHAHAHAHA!!! >Suddenly, Oscar opened the door lightly and yelled "YOU SSSUCK!" Crow: (imitating Fudd) I am wubber, you awe gwue! Joel: (imitating Fudd) Oh weally!?! Well, At weast I don't have a stuttwewing pwoblem!! >he immediately closed the door and laughed out loud in the hall, Joel: (imitating Oscar) He he he.... Crow: Fortunately, there were some Kids in the Hall that crushed his skull with their fingers.... >Elmer obviosly got mad and went out, Tom: *Obviosly*.... Joel: (imitating Fudd) Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting hewmaphwodites! Hehhehhehhehheh.... >but Oscar made his move Tom: The dreaded Fritz Gambit! >and entered the classroom just as Elmer went out, Crow: Smooth move, Oscar.... Joel: Must be one of those new classrooms with the revolving doors.... >and sat at Buster's side, and of course Fifi immediately went lovesick, >her eyes turned to hearts, and her attention only directed to Oscar, Tom: And another poor soul falls under the evil spell of self-insertion.... Joel: They should have a support group for everyone's who suffered the agony of self-insertion.... Crow: Nah, a revengefic is quicker....More fun, too! >she was about to literally pounce over Oscar, Tom: Fifi was a silver medal contender for Hermaphrodite Jumping in the '94 Winter Olympics.... >when Elmer came back inside scratching his bald head, Joel: (imitating Fudd) Now, where did I weave my toupee? Crow: Shouldn't he use something to hold it on? I mean, he has his own brand of glue.... >"I wunda what that was? ok wets get to cwass", Tom: (imitating Plucky) We're already in cwass, you mutant doorknob! >Buster looked at Oscar and wondered why he didn't smelt like Fifi, Crow: Especially considering what he did to those poor flowers.... >Oscar looked at him and smiled with a peace sign, All: (imitating Don Cornelius) Peace, love and soul! Tom: So, how can you give a peace sign with your mouth? Joel: Nimble gums. Tom: Ah.... >Buster replied with the same hand gesture a lil bewildered, Joel: (imitating Buster) What's this *Little Rabbit Foo Foo* crap?!? Tom: (imitating Buster) Strange....he didn't ask who I was? How can I do my no-relation bit with Babs if he doesn't ask my name?!? >the class went on, All: And ON and ON and ON and ON.... Joel: Why Elmer never went after the Energizer bunny, I'll never know.... Tom: Hey guys, We gotta go.... Joel: Perfect timing. I have to stretch my legs anyway.... * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE Joel and the bots were lounging around the bridge. "Hey, Joel...." Crow suddenly spoke up. "If you had a chance to visit any animated world you wanted, where would you go?" "Hmmmm...." Joel considered Crow's question for a moment. "When I was a kid, I would have done pretty much anything to be Spiderman from the old 60's series...." The bots suddenly burst out laughing. "What?" Joel replied defensively. "It was a cool show for it's time! Especially the theme song!" "Come on, Joel! That series reused scenes and plots like crazy! How many times can you watch Spiderman swing past the same buildings with the same camera angles!" Tom pointed out. "Well, I still like it!" Joel shot back. "Spiderman practically had the entire city to himself, just swinging along on his webshooters, seeing the buildings woosh by, the traffic beneath him, Sticking to any wall he wanted and then leaping off to swing somewhere else. I thought that was cool, so sue me!" "Well, I guess that's sort of cool." Tom replied. "Me. I've always wanted to visit the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. To go on quests and adventures and fight that five headed dragon with Hank, Bobby, Sheila, Eric, Presto and Diana...." "Oh yeah! I remember that one! Eric was such a wuss! *Magic Shield!* Big whoop! Give me Diana's magic javelin or Hank's bolt arrows, anytime...." Crow exclaimed. "Yeah, sometimes I miss the old 80's cartoons. Granted, a lot of them were really hokey, but at least some had imagination...." Joel remarked. "We oughta recreate some of them in the holocabana one of these days. There are so many to choose from...." "What about you, Crow?" Tom inquired. "What cartoon world would you like to visit if you ever got the chance?" "Well....uh...." Crow sounded nervous. "Actually, I used to really like a certain episode of Rainbow Brite...." "WHAT?!?" Joel and Tom exclaimed in disbelief. "....but only because it had the evil Monster Murk and his attack was really cool!" Crow quickly added. "He used to stretch his hands behind his head and power up before unleashing his color draining energy rings....I thought it was cool....at the time." "You're weird, Crow...." Tom shook his head. "You know what 80's cartoon I really miss?" Joel remarked. "Which, Joel?" "Bravestarr." "Oh yeah...." Tom and Crow nodded. "Everything about that cartoon was pretty cool...." Joel continued. "Bravestarr's animal spirit powers....30-30 and Sarah Jane....that little deputy guy....I still don't know why Tex-Hex was so afraid of a dead cow's head though...." "I wish they'd bring it back....but it'd probably suck like the new Speed Racer cartoon...." Tom replied sadly. "Ugh....don't remind me...." Crow grimaced. "Let's not forget a true classic either. The syndicated version of *The Real Ghostbusters*." Joel remarked. "Oh yeah! That was one of the coolest cartoons ever!" Crow exclaimed. "The ghosts, the weapons, the one-liners, the music, the scripts, it was *awesome*!" "It *was* awesome....at least until they started running those crappy *Slimer* shorts that basically took over and ruined the whole show. Bleah!" Tom grumbles. "Oh yeah....almost forgot about that....but at least some of them were good, better than most of what's on Saturday mornings now...." Crow replied. "Yep, those were the good old days...." Joel sighed wistfully. "Well, you know, Joel, the 80's gave us some pretty *bad* cartoons as well." Tom pointed out. "Let's not forget the horror that was Hulk Hogan's Rock N' Wrestling...." Joel shuddered. Then Crow spoke up. "And let us not forget the unholy horror that was....THE SMURFS." "Hah!" Tom sneered. "The smurfs were a walk in the park compared to....STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE!!!" "Oh, dear god, no!" Joel cringed. "No more berry talk! Please!" "Oh yeah?! What about RICHIE RICH!!!" Crow countered. "Two words for you, Crow. YO....YOGI...." "One word for you, Tom. GO-BOTS...." "Guys! Please! No more! Let me have my pleasant memories of the 80's...." Joel's plea was cut off as alarms and sirens suddenly rang out. "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT OSCARFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out. TO BE CONTINUED IN OSCAR TOON PART 2..... Thus ends the first part of my first four part MSTing. I decided to try this method and see how it goes. I figure four 25+ page parts will be easier to read than two 45+ page parts. I've included the other three parts along with this one. As with my other two part MSTings, there's lots more to come in the second part so don't skip it or you'll only be missing out on some great riffs. ;) *TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO) EPISODE 16: OSCAR TOON PT. 2 (A Sailor Moon/Dragon Ball Z/Warner Brothers Oscarfic MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. "Tiny Toons" and the "Warner Brothers" characters are the property of Warner Brothers and all the distributors of their work. "Dragon Ball" is the property of Akira Toriyama and all the distributors of his work. "Oscar Toon" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend this person for making fun of his/her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) Warning: This fic contains mature content and a pinch of lemon. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! (Door 6: It slides open on both sides..) (Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on.) (Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.) (Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling.) (Door 2: It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and touches the door. The door vanishes.) (Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. Joel: To recap: Oscar's been pulled into Loony-Tune Land and he's decided to stick around for a while and mess things up.... Crow: Don't forget him putting the moves on Fifi and tormenting poor Elmer Fudd.... Tom: (imitating Dark Helmet) Everybody got that!?! >Buster then took the initiative "Yo, pal, who are ya, if Fudd wasn't >so dumb he'd ask what are u doing here" Oscar grinned "Well BB Joel: King? Tom: Gun? Crow: Butterfinger? >i really just got here and i'm new but that doesn't mean i don't know >who all of you are he he" Buster raised an eyebrow "Like in.." Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, well, you see, i'm writing a really twisted self-insertion story about you guys cuz i can do anything i want! He he he! You see Babs over there? i could make her fall in love with me just like that! Hell, i could kick your ass right now without even breaking a sweat if i wanted to.... Crow: (imitating Buster) *Gulp* Nevermind.... >"Like in, i know what kind of relation you and Babs have, Joel: (imitating Oscar) For i know your darkest secret, Buster Bunny.... You and Babs, *ARE* in fact related! Crow: (imitating Buster) Nooooooooooo!!! >what Fifi has been craving for years, Tom: Her own line of perfume? Crow: To get a species change into a French poodle? Joel: A break into the show business, but not like this... >what kind of loser Plucky is, Crow: (imitating Buster) Gee, how long did it take you to figure that out, Nostradamus? >and.." Elmer then made a shhh and Oscar spoke softer Joel: Who knew Oscar was soft spoken? Tom: Shouldn't he be carrying a big stick? Crow: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.... >"And i know who yer coach is he he, she's hot isn't she?" Crow: (imitating Buster) Oh yeah, she gets my weenie steamin.... Joel: Crow! >Buster blushed and smiled "Err, i guess he he". Tom: (imitating Buster) My coach is a saint! Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, hey, that's *MY* laugh! Do it again and i'll rip yer limbs off! >Class was over and Fifi immediatelly embraced Oscar tightly, "UGH!" Joel: Our sentiments exactly.... Tom: (imitating Fifi) Ze is mine! All mine! Crow: (imitating Fifi) Ze is zhee appalling one, yet I cannot rezist heem, no? >Oscar moaned as he got a lil squeezed by her, Tom: I'm getting a *lil* tired of Oscar using shorthand.... Joel: Lil. The latest in a long line of Oscar-isms.... Crow: You never know what he'll *putted* in next... >Fifi made her infamous love speech, Crow: (imitating Fifi) In ze name of la'mour! I will right wrongs and triumph over evil! But first, I'll zeduce you.... >ignoring that Oscar wanted to do that to her, Crow: Frankly, I'd rather hear Usagi's speech over Oscar's anyday.... Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, if you'll just shut up for a second, i'll be happy to sleep with you! Joel: Tom.... >"Oh ze boy of me dreams.." Fifi said while looking seductivly at him, Crow: Actually, we haven't quite determined what gender he is yet.... Tom: (singing) Every night in my dreams....I see you....I feel you.... Crow: And her heart will go on....just like this ridiculous premise.... >Oscar grinned and brought Fifi closer to him, Joel: (singing) Get a little closer.... Crow: (imitating Mr. B Natural) Move in a little closer friend!!! Let's get acquainted!!! Tom: You know, I've often wondered if Oscar and Mr. B Natural were separated at birth.... >she went wide-eyed as Oscar finally gave Fifi her first kiss ever, Tom: Where? Joel: Don't go there, Tom.... >Fifi's mind went into overdrive as she feel completely absorved by his >kiss, Crow: Since Fifi had no idea what *absorved* felt like, she decided to ignore the alien sensation.... Joel: Uh, Oscar? Remember *Artemis*? The love of your life? Shouldn't you be trying to get back home to her instead of two-timing her with a female skunk? Tom: Why? All he has to do is beat the crap out of some fierce street dogs to get rid of Fifi's scent.... Joel: Oh yeah. How stupid of me to forget.... >she thought this moment would never come. Crow: (imitating James Earl Jones) It came upon her like a thief in the night, and one by one dropped the revelers....and dyed each in the despairing posture of her fall....and darkness....and decay....and death....held illimitable dominion over all.... Joel: Been playing Tex Murphy again, Crow? >Oscar tought "I can't beleive i've finally made this...." Fifi felt the kiss >last forever, but Oscar eventually parted from her, Joel: (imitating Oscar) Well, that was exciting....NEXT!!! Tom: I can't believe Oscar finally capitalized an *i*.... >Fifi was blushing heavily "Y-You...." Crow: (imitating Fifi) ....peeg! You swine! Nevair keese me again! >she said still bewildered of his actions, everyone else was jaw-dropped, Crow: Jaw-dropped? You mean they facefaulted? Joel: Yet more Oscar-isms.... Tom: Yeah, but our slang is much *cooler* than his... >Fifi whispered into Oscar's ear "Who are u?" Crow: (imitating Oscar whispering) I'm Batman.... >Oscar smiled and went to his desk, but then Lola came in. All: (singing) Lola! L-O-L-A Lola! Lo Lo Lo Lola! >Oscar looked at her, from her slender legs, to her tight waist her well >rounded breasts and her gorgeous face, Tom: Well, that settles it. Oscar has *WAY* too much free time on his hands.... Crow: Three words. Seek. Professional. Help. Joel: Would you say the same thing about robots that lusted after the sailor senshi and other well-endowed anime women? (Crow and Tom look at each other for a moment.) Crow: No. Tom: Why? Joel: Oh, no reason.... >he was wordless Crow: Oh, if only that were so.... Tom: We wish.... Joel: An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually define all that is Oscar.... Tom: Thank god he isn't Canadian.... >but he knew he didn't had a chance at her, and he still wanted to know >Fifi better. Crow: ....in the biblical sense, ifyaknowwhatImean. Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, after what happened to Kuro/Kogi, I've learned to handle one love struck girl at a time.... >Lola with her basketball in her arms said "Ok class, time for our >training" Joel: (imitating Lola) Who's up for a game of Tennis? Crow: (imitating Oscar) Me! Me! I'm wearing my *tennis* right now! >Oscar stood up as the whole class followed her into the gym, Tom: She walks like a woman and talks like a man.... Crow and Joel: (singing) Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola >Babs wasn't worried for Buster having a crush on, Lola cuz some >weeks before, Buster told his true feelings to her. But she still >followed Buster almost everywhere, Tom: Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls. It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world, Crow and Joel: (singing) Except for Lola. Lo lo lo Lola. Lo lo lo Lola. >Fifi was like glued to Oscar and how couldn't she? never did anyone >treated her like he did a few moments ago. Joel: What does she expect? It's a self-insertion story! She has no free will of her own! >But Oscar was thinking of something else Tom: (imitating Homer Simpson) Mmmmmm....Lola. >"What am i gonna do now?", when they all sat in the bench, All: TOGGG!!! Crow: Pull splinters out of their butt? >Oscar and Fifi talked a lil, Tom: Thus making small talk. Thank you! >Fifi then asked "Who are u...please tell me.." >Oscar looked down and answered Crow: (imitating Oscar) I'm Gumby dammit! Tom: Why is he looking down? Oh man, is Fifi on her knees already?!? All: BOO!!! HISS!!! BOO!!! >"Well Fifi...I'm Oscar, i'm 14 and i can't Tom: ....write a fanfic to save my life. >tell u anything else..sorry" Fifi raised Oscar's face and smiled Crow: (imitating Fifi) I do ze chin tucks too, no? >"Don't worry, i don't need to know much else..." Crow: Her hands tell her everything she needs to know.... Joel: Crow.... >Oscar smiled and caressed her hair, Fifi closed her eyes and smiled, Tom: (imitating Oscar) Good skunky....Nice skunky.... Joel: Fifi *IS* Skunky Brewster! >Oscar a lil worried, thought "Fifi, even if i'm here just for a time, i'll >make u happy...i promise". Joel: Oscar: The Prophet of Unrequited Love. Crow: (buries his face in his hands) Oh my god....Please say this isn't happening.... Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, i don't make love to women for *MY* own pleasure. i do it to make *THEM* feel better about themselves.... Crow: I think I'm going to be sick.... All: BOO!!! HISS!!! BOO!!! >Lola then stept before them, "Sooo you're new here huh?" she asked >Oscar, and he replied Tom: (imitating Oscar) I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said, "Lola". Crow and Joel: (singing) L-O-L-A Lola, lo lo lo Lola.... >"Yes Lola" Lola got surprised, "How does he knows my name?" she >thought Tom: (imitating Lola) And why am I suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to surrender my body to him unconditionally even though I've never seen him before and he's kind of creepy looking..... Crow: The evils of self-insertion.... Joel: Maybe she and Oscar are regulars at Cheers.... >and then said "Well wanna show me what you got?" All: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! >Oscar winked at Fifi and stood up grinning, he then looked up to her >and said Crow: (imitating Oscar) i'll take you after i take Fifi and not before! >"Sure would...doll" All: Oooooooooooooo.... Tom: (imitating Oliver Hardy) Now you've done it! You've rrrrrrreally done it! Crow: You're playing with death, Oscie... >everyone stopped and turned to Oscar and Lola, with surprised looks >on their faces, Joel: Someone dares challenge the great and powerful Lola?! Inconceivable! >Oscar kept grinning and Lola's eyes ignited with anger Crow: Hmmmm....Maybe Oscar isn't the last of the Saiya-jins after all.... >"Ok lil smart kid lets see what you got". Tom: (imitating Lola) Get the lead out, shorty! >Lola bounced the b.ball to the center of the court, Joel: Wow, I never knew a bowling ball could bounce like that.... >as Oscar strolled in, and stand before her, Tom: (imitating announcer) AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.... LET'S GIVE A WARM HAND TO OUR HOME TEAM FOR THIS ONE ON ONE CONTEST.... FANFICTION'S OWN....OSCAR!!! All: BOOO!!! HISS!!! BOOO!!! >Lola (Whoa check it out 2 names in a row) Tom: Whoop-de-shit.... Joel: Tom.... >held the B.ball and stared at Oscar's eyes, he wasn't intimidated by >her. Crow: (imitating Oscar) He he he! Just a few more seconds and i'll have her completely under my power.... >He wondered if all of his Saiya-Jin powers had been drained tough, if >they where indeed Crow: Maybe the shadow knows.... >drained in the toon world, then he didn't stood a chance against her. Joel: But, since this is a self-insertion fic, he had nothing to worry about.... Tom: I can't *stood* grammar errors.... >Meanwhile, in a nother part of toon land... Tom: The toons were packing their bags and getting the hell out of there until the fanfic is over.... Crow: ....Speedy Gonzales was being deported on a traffic violation.... Joel: ....Pinky and the Brain were devising yet another plan to try and take over the world.... Crow: ....and Wiley Coyote was tossing back a few cold ones, having finally caught the Road Runner by drugging his birdseed with the Ebola virus.... >The youma woke up, it was somewhat of a basketball creep, with a >blue and red B.ball, he stood up and said to himself Tom: (imitating youma) I haven't the slightest idea what that last sentence was all about.... Joel (singing): You-ma... Yo-yo-yo-yo-you-ma.... >"Oscar...", he checked his radar and couldn't find Oscar in it, as the >radar only detected Saiya-Jins, not skunks, Joel: In Oscar's case, is there really that much of a difference? Crow: Hey! Wait a minute! It's Eva-11's bounty hunter from "The Death of Oscar"! Tom: All right! Finally a ray of hope for this fanfic! >the youma frowned and smashed the radar in anger, "I'll find u >Oscar..." Tom and Crow: TERMINATE!!! TERMINATE!!! TERMINATE!!! Joel: You guys.... >he was literally at the other side of the toon world. Joel: He's over on Don Bluth's side of the fence? Crow: Oh good. Maybe he can recruit Dirk the Daring and Space Ace to help him. Tom: Unleash the Infanto Ray! Defeat the evil Oscar! The fate of Loony Toon land is in your hands! >Back at the Looniversity gym, Buster took the B.ball, as Lola >prepared herself for her 1 on 1 match, Tom: Does that mean she's met her match? Joel: Save it for the stage, Henny.... >Oscar was a lil worried, then, Buster threw the ball upwards. Oscar >and Lola jumped for the ball and they almost collapsed with each >other, Crow: A foreshadowing of things to come? Tom: Makes me wonder what *ball* Lola was jumping for.... Joel: Tom.... >but Lola won it. Oscar exalted, Crow: (imitating Oscar singing) Glo-o-o-o-ria! Tom: Hosannas in the Highest! Joel: Oscar still has no idea what that word means.... >and landed on his paws, he turned around, just as Lola landed and >chuckled at him, she immediately dashed (bouncing the ball of >course) Tom: After all, this ain't Netball.... >to Oscar's hoop side, but Oscar made his ZATSUKEN, and stole the >B.ball outta her hands, Crow: Boy, it's a good thing Oscar didn't use a *ZANZOUKEN* or Lola would have really been in trouble.... Joel: Geez, if you're going to pretend to be a Saiya-Jin, you could at least get the name of the attacks right.... Tom: Meanwhile, the author of this MSTing keeps confusing *marital* with *martial*.... Joel: Hush, Tom! You'll anger the overlord.... >everyone even Lola was startled to see that he made such a >quick move, a small blurry image of Oscar was left behind Lola, and >the real Oscar was RIGHT BEHIND her, Joel: Strange....I have a sudden urge to play Ninja Gaiden.... >Oscar was reliefed that his Saiya-Jin power/skill/moves etc. weren't >drained completely, that meant he could do a small Kame-Hame-Ha, >or a mega jump. Tom: But, let's be honest, since it's a self-insertion, he can pretty much do whatever he wants.... Joel: Except learn to spell.... >Oscar knew he shouldn't stay too long in one same spot, Crow: ....or the angry villagers would get him. >cuz Lola would steal the ball again, so he ran to Lola's hoop side and >jumped high above the rim, SLAMMING the ball into the hoop, Fifi then >thought "Gotta love him" she smiled lightly. Babs had a "Go Oscar" >Calamity Coyote-like sign, Buster raised an eyebrow, and cleared his >throat, Babs smiled guilty and hid the sign, with an innocent look, >and laughing nervously, Buster then tought, "She hasn't changed a >bit". Tom: Yes, it's the run-on sentences from hell! >The gym was in silence after Oscar landed on his paws, Tom: Because, you see, Oscar gave them a moment of *pause*. Get it? Crow: Heh heh....that's funny.... >Lola was still dazzled and couldn't say a thing, Joel: Oscar used Erasmus's Razzle Dazzle spell on her? Tom: So Oscar wants to be a Hero? Crow: Hope he meets up with a Cheetaur.... >Oscar then turned around, he walked to her, his steps echoing, Tom: Big gym.... Crow: What? He's wearing tap shoes now? >till he finally got to her side, "Ummm Lola...?" he asked softly, Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, Care for some champagne? It tastes just like Coca-Cola... >Lola sighed and simply went to the bench, took her bag, zipped it up, >and slung it over her shoulder, whipping the sweat out of her forehead. Tom: Woah! She's so dominating, even her sweat is pussy-whipped! Crow: One dunk shot against her and she's quitting? Talk about a sore loser.... Joel: What's she sweating so hard from anyway? The 60 second B. Ball game? >She went out, as everyone stared at Oscar, "What?" he managed. Crow: (imitating Buster) Your fly's open.... Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, what do i look like?! A second base coach?!? Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, Suddenly, *i'm* the jerk! >He then ran to the exit and looked everywhere for Lola, "I didn't think >she'd take this so hard..." Crow: Virgins....You can't live with them.... Tom: Ah, screw em.... Joel: Guys.... >he tought feeling like shit. Crow: Now that *IS* one subject Oscar's qualified to teach! Joel: Don't you mean *tech*? Tom: Why not? He's already got the smell.... Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, Next class, i'll tech you how to feel like pond scum! >He walked all around the Looniversity and he was about to give up, >when he saw her, Crow: ....committing seppuku. Joel: Crow.... >alone sitting in a tree with a thoughtful look on her face Tom: That's strange.... Crow: What? Tom: Oscar spells *thought* as *tought* and yet he spells *thoughtful* without any trouble at all. Joel: That could have been avoided if Oscar had been more *thoughtful*. Tom: Little food for tought...I mean, thought.... >and with a small flower in her hand, Joel: Uh oh! That flower's going to be taking a dirt nap if Oscar gets any closer! Crow: Save your children! Pollinate now! Tom: There's never a swarm around when you need one.... >playing "He/she loves me, she/he loves me not", Tom: *IT* might be the best term to use.... Joel: Self-insertion. Don't play that game.... Crow: Strange....Fifi didn't have any trouble identifying Oscar as ze boy of her dreams.... Tom: So Lola has no trouble admitting to herself she might be a lesbian or bi-sexual? Crow: Nah, that might give her character some depth and in an Oscarfic that's a strict no-no.... >Oscar slowly went to her side and sat at her side, Joel: ....sitting there beside her on her side as he rested on his side ready to tell his side of the story.... Tom: And then Lola was beside herself.... Crow: Whew! For a second there, I was afraid he was going to sit *in* her side. Tom: Well, at least he's not into sidehacking.... >Lola didn't noticed him until he said "Lola" she then threw away the >flower and only heard him, Crow: (imitating Lola) HE'S IN MY HEAD! HE'S IN MY HEAD!!! Joel: Rest in peace, sweet petunia, and may a thousand marigolds sent thee to thy rest.... >Oscar bit his lower lip, Tom: Oscar's trying to be as *interesting* as Kevin.... >"Ummm Lola..", Lola blinked, and replied Crow: (imitating Lola) Yes, Master? Tom: (imitating Oscar) He He He! You shall be the next to fall to my infinite Self-Insert powers! He He He! Crow:(Imitating Lola) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! >"Yes...?" Oscar, looked upwards "Are u mad at me..?" Tom: (deep voice) DAMN STRAIGHT! NOW GIVE ME YOUR MONEY! Joel: Tom.... Crow: Oh, no, she's very grateful you included her in your sick little ego trip... Joel: Easy, little buddy... >Lola sighed, "I'm just a little peachy...", Joel: Oh, she's one of the Hentai Scouts.... Tom: (imitating Lola) Not only that! Check out my fuzz! Crow: If she's a little peachy, does that make Oscar a little fruit.... Joel: Don't say it, Crow.... >Oscar got a lil more confidence when she said that, "I didn't mean to >be like that..." Tom: (imitating Oscar) I'm not arrogant! I'm just written that way! Joel: (imitating Lola) But aren't you the writer? Tom: (imitating Oscar) Oh yeah.... >Lola smiled lightly, Crow: She can light up a room with the best of them.... Joel: She couldn't hold a candle to Nuku Nuku.... Tom: (singing) Smile....though your stomach....is aching.... >"It's just that i played my best with you because..." Joel: (imitating Lola) ....I survive by crushing the weak and then drink beer to celebrate! Crow: (imitating Lola) ....that *doll* crack always pisses me off.... Tom: (imitating Lola) I haven't been playing much since Space Jam.... >Oscar continued, Crow: Unfortunately.... Tom: It'll have to *be* continued. We've gotta go! Joel: Say guys, I got an idea to pass the time.... * * * THE SATELLITE OF LOVE As Joel and the bots come out of the theater, a familiar music intro is heard moments before the trio begin to sing. (Sung to the tune of the Fugitive Alien Melody) All: This is a song....starring off our parody.... About our favorite herm-aphro-dite.... He tried....to kill us with a fanfic That was very wrong Why can't we get along....? "You know guys...." Crow remarked. "A fanfic like Oscar Toon can make you cry....and it can make you cry....but first, it'll make you puke your socks up." "Boy, you said it, Crow!" Tom replied. "There are some things in this universe that simply weren't meant to be put together. And Oscar simply wasn't meant for this universe. I'm not sure *which* universe he belongs in, but chances are, wherever it is....it won't smell too good." "But we must not forget that above all...." Joel added. "Oscar Toon is a story of love, regrets, sorrow, wonder and most of all, ego-gratification. That's why we've written this parody of a song we've done before and have shamelessly ripped off....just for you, Oscar. And it goes something....like this...3...2....1...." (sung to the I Love Ken Melody) Crow: I love Artemis, she is my best friend. Tom: I love Artemis, she is my best friend. Crow: I love Fifi and I *know* she loves me. Tom: I love Fifi and I *know* she loves me. Crow: I'm all messed up inside, I want to screw them. Tom: I'm all messed up inside, I want to screw them. Crow: I'll change them so that they will all serve me. Tom: I'll change them so that they will all serve me. Crow: I love Artemis, she is my best friend. (Tom now sings the melody for Feres Jaques) Tom: I want Lola....I want Lola.... (sung at the same time. Crow the FA melody, Tom the Feres Jaques) Crow: I love Fifi and I *know* she loves me. Tom: All for me....All for me.... Crow: I'm all messed up inside, I want to screw them. Tom: I am the god! I am the god! Crow: I'll change them so that they will all serve me. Tom: He he he! He he he! Joel clapped as the song came to an end. "All right, guys! Well, this is growing tiresome, so what's say we finish this parody off! Ready, guys! "Take us home, Joel!" The bots chorused. "I would if I could, guys....3....2...1...." (Sung to the tune of the Fugitive Alien Melody) All: And that's our song, we hope you somewhat liked it And if you thought it was corny and sad.... Don't try....to kill us with a fanfic All we want is to Put a little smile on you and siiiiiing the Fugitive Alien parody!!! "What do you think, sirs?" Joel asked. * * * DEEP 13 Frank appeared on the viewscreen, dressed as Marilyn Manson. "Not bad, Joel. But now it's *MY* turn to rock! ONE....TWO....ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...." "DON'T even think about it, Frank." The voice of Dr. Forrester admonished from off-screen, freezing Frank in mid-note. "Just let go of the microphone completely and back away slowly....That's it....Easy does it....And while you're at it, send them the next part of the fanfic, Frank...." "Yes, your high evilness...." Frank pouted. * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE Suddenly alarms and sirens suddenly rang out. "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT OSCARFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out. TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 3..... Two parts down, two to go. Will Lola be able to escape the evil powers of Oscar? Will Fifi's heart be crushed like a package of hot dogs in a steam compressor? And how does the mysterious stranger stalking Oscar fit into all of this? Keep reading and find out. ;) *TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO) EPISODE 16: OSCAR TOON PT. 3 (A Sailor Moon/Dragon Ball Z/Warner Brothers Oscarfic MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. "Tiny Toons" and the "Warner Brothers" characters are the property of Warner Brothers and all the distributors of their work. "Dragon Ball" is the property of Akira Toriyama and all the distributors of his work. "Oscar Toon" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend this person for making fun of his/her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) Warning: This fic contains mature content and a pinch of lemon. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! (Door 6: It slides open on both sides..) (Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on.) (Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.) (Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling.) (Door 2: It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and touches the door. The door vanishes.) (Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. Tom: Well, let's recap the fanfic....Oscar's a sick freak and Lola's his latest victim. Any questions? No? Good. >as Bugs was passing by, but when he was about to turn, Crow: For once, Bugs didn't miss that left turn at Alburquerque.... >he saw Oscar and Lola, and he only backed up, hiding and listening >to what they where saying. Joel: There's a reason they call him *Bugs*.... >Oscar then managed to finish "I...like you Lola..i like you a lot" Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I like you Lola....i'll kill you last.... Joel: (imitating Lola) He likes me! He really really likes me! >Lola turned at him "I know, many ppl had said that to me...", Tom: But you're the first hermaphrodite that's even suggested it.... Crow: Ppl? Isn't that one of M. Llave's trademarks? Joel: (singing) Ppl....Ppl who need Ppl.... Crow: Beware! The invasion of the Pod Ppl! >Oscar then gulped, Crow: Oscar. The official new mascot of 7-11! Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, Gulp the Gulp! He he he! >and took a serious look Tom: At what he was writing? Joel: Be serious.... >"but i like you not just for what you are, Crow: ....but what you're wearing. >but for what i am when i'm with you..." Lola's eyes lighted up, and >replied Joel: (imitating Lola) I've seen the light! You're a freak! >"But...maybe you're different" ,When Bugs heard that he closed his >fist in jealousy, Tom: Why doesn't Bugs just order one of his gang to rub Oscar out with a Chicago typewriter? Joel: You're thinking of *BUGSY*, Crow.... >Lola had refused him, so many times not even after the "Game of the >century" Joel: Final Fantasy VII? Crow: Dune II? Tom: Hungry Hungry Hippos? >with the Monstars, Tom: Yeah, right....More like the "Exploitation of the century". Crow: No, that honor was locked up by *The Wizard*.... Joel: With the *Gameboy* episode of *Captain N: The Game Master* coming in at a very close second.... >he never got to the likes of her, even with his kiss. Joel: That's what Bugs gets for not chewing the right gum.... Crow: Dentine, Bugs! Try using it! >Oscar smiled happy that she wasn't mad at him, that would suck like >never before. Tom: Uh, that's being awfully presumptuous, Oscar.... Crow: Because, you see, a woman *always* gives a better blowjob to a guy she isn't peeved at.... Joel: Crow.... >He then leaned back, and layed on the soft green grass, with Lola, Tom: (Starting to vibrate) Oh no! Nononononononononononononono... Crow: (Imitating Shang Tsung) IT HAS BEGUN! >he finally said "It's weird...talking nice with a coach... Tom: Unlike Oscar's high school coach who takes sadistic pleasure in making him climb the rope repeatedly in gym class.... Crow: I wonder which change room Oscar has to use? Joel: Don't go there, Crow.... >but, what happened with Bugs?", Lola sighed and answered "Oh him? >he's just a hopeless asshole...flirting with every F.rabbit he sees, acting >"Cool" all the time..sheesh", Tom: Oscar even swears in shorthand.... Crow: F. Oscar-isms! Joel: What other rabbits is she talking about? Warner Brothers had to create Lola because their weren't any other female rabbits other than Tiny Toon's Babs.... Crow: I guess Fudd killed them all.... >Oscar chuckled lightly, as he said "So much for him", Joel: Oh yeah, Oscar's the North Pole compared to Bugs, all right.... Tom: He makes the 7up cool spot look shallow.... Crow: He's so cool, they call him Joe! (Tom and Joel stare at Crow) Crow: Joe! You know....Joe Cool? Snoopy's alter-ego? Tom: (shakes his head) Good grief.... >Bugs was simply furious when he heard her.Suddenly, Lola rolled >from her back to her stomach, and got closer to Oscar, Tom: (Imitating Diner guy from Space Balls) Oh no....not again.... Crow: WATER, MY ASS! GET THAT RABBIT SOME PEPTO BISMOL!!! Joel: Check please! >he blushed lightly and nervously asked "Ummm Lola?..." Joel: (imitating Oscar) I've really got to go to the bathroom! >Lola smiled as she kissed him in the LIPS, Crow: Those buck-teeth'll get you every time. >Oscar went wide-eyed, one of his fantasies had come true, Joel: So what else is new? Crow:(Imitating Oscar) Let's see....Boinked talking cat? Tom: Check. Crow:(Oscar) Boinked a Catwoman? Tom: Check. Crow:(Oscar) Made a female skunk fall in love with me at a glance? Tom: Check. Crow: (Oscar) Dissed Elmer Fudd? Tom: Check. Crow: (Oscar) Blackmailed Buster Bunny? Tom: Check. Crow:(Oscar) Got kissed by a rabbit and dragged the reputation of another *rabbit* through the mud? Tom: Check. Joel: Where and what will Oscar strike next? >Bugs's head was RED steam shooting outta his ears, Joel: He's turned into Mysterio? >and a lil devil appeared at his left side. Joel: The lil angel was too busy stuffing her face with Philadelphia Cream Cheese.... Crow: (imitating devil) I'll make you a deal, Bugs. I'll whack Oscar and you help me convince a little Mexican girl to steal and do bad things.... Tom: Hey, we're not supposed to know about that movie yet.... Crow: It's a fanfic. You should really just relax.... >Lola parted from him, "Lola..." Oscar weakly said, "I know it feels >weird, you're 14 Joel: Lola's 14? Since when? Tom: I know it's Loony-Tune Land and all, but a 14 year old university coach may be shaving the line a *little* too thin.... Crow: Shame on you, Bugs! You're over 60 and you're lusting after a 14 year old bunny? Joel: I'm pretty sure Oscar got this one wrong, Crow.... >and i'm...well Crow: ....a freak who loves pussy. Joel: Crow.... >i can't tell you everything do i? Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, She don't know me vewwy well, do she? He he he! >he he, i like you too Oscie.." Lola added, as Oscar's mind played a >small flashback, Joel: Aw man, as if *this* fic wasn't enough to deal with.... Crow: I hope this flashback is more interesting than the dull old guy's from Cave Dwellers.... >it was when Artemis, and Felicia told him just that Tom: Let it be known from this moment on that all of Oscar's love interests will mistake him for a member of the Little Rascals! >(Read my other past fanfics), Crow: Read our lips. Not even if the Dominion Puma Twins walked up to us in latex and begged us on their hands and knees, promising us a lifetime of unrestricted sexual servitude in exchange. Joel: Actually, those are *YOUR* words, Crow. But I'll take a pass as well.... Tom: Uh....how long would they promise to serve me? Joel: Tom! Tom: Er...nevermind! >Oscar then caressed Lola's cheek, working up to her face, Tom: Woah! Gives new meaning to the phrase *cheek to cheek*.... Crow: I'll say one thing for Oscar. His technique is a lot better than Torgo's.... Joel: Or Tor Johnson for that matter.... >Lola smiled with her eyes closed and, then stood up She picked up >her bag and said Tom: (imitating Lola) Just wait until this fic is over, you litttle.... >"Well, c'ya around Oscie" Oscar also stood up and smiled , waving >her goodbye, oscar left, but when he turned in the corner, he saw a >furious Bugs, "Oh Hiya Bugs!" Tom: (imitating Bugs eating a carrot) Eh, What's up, doc? >Bugs frowned "Don't hiya me kid! what you where doing with my >gal?!" Oscar pouted with a smile Crow: Pouted with a smile? How the hell do you do that? Joel: If you keep making faces like that, it might stay that way.... Tom: It's the Nuku Nuku School of Smiling. Once you graduate, you can never frown again....no matter how hard you try. Crow: Kinda puts Stimpy's *Happy Helmet* to shame, eh? >"YOUR gal?!""Yes my gal, you little S.O.B." Joel: What is he, Gabbo now? Tom: Is is my imagination or has Bugs's English improved tremendously? Crow: As opposed to Oscar's? >Oscar then ignored him, and left, but Bugs grabbed him Joel: Bugs must have some really long arms.... Tom: (imitating Bugs) I learned this trick from Jack Deebs.... Crow: Well, this *IS* Loony-Tune Land.... Tom: Maybe Bugs borrowed the banana picker from Herman Toothrot.... Joel: Lay off the Lucasart games, Tom.... >by his Sailormoon shirt and said Tom: (imitating Bugs) Nice material doc, Polyester? >"You mess with my Lola, you mess with me" Oscar had a serious look >on his face, "Let me go Bugs," Joel: (imitating Oscar) Watch out Bugs, I know Kung Fu, Tai Kuan Do, Jeet Kune Do, Kung Pao, Dai Dop Wooey and several other intimidating Chinese words! Tom: (imitating Bugs) Oh yeah? Well, I'm kicked some serious ass on the video game circuit, doc! Besides, my feet are lucky! >Bugs grinned "Aw the poor lil wuss is scared?" Crow: (imitating Oscar) Why should I be? My name's in the title. Joel: Bugs used an Oscar-ism. He's finished.... >Oscar the closed his eyes, and hit Bugs's wrist making him let go off, Tom: Go off where? >and then twisted Bugs's arm, driving him into the ground, smashing >Bugs's face into the pavement, Crow: You know, I've always wanted someone to teach Bugs a lesson in humility but Oscar wasn't the someone I had in mind.... Joel: Hey, who better to take Bugs's ego down a peg than an egomaniac.... Tom: If Oscar's a skunk, wouldn't it be easier to just spray him? >he applied the SHARPSHOOTER on him, Joel: (imitating Bret Hart) Hey! Only Owen and I get to use that move! Crow: (imitating Chris Hyatte) MY GOD!!!! OSCAR RIPS OFF EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! Tom: Are you sure it isn't the *SCORPION DEATH LOCK*? Which leg is he using? >and even if Bugs was a cartoon character, he couldn't do nothing >against the leg-lock, Tom: Because this is a self-insertion fanfic and in Oscar's sweaty hands, that's more deadly than *THE DIP*.... Crow: He couldn't do nothing. So does that mean he had to do something? Joel: Don't be so double-negative, Crow.... Crow: Bite me twice! >Bugs yelled out in pain, as Oscar tightened the grip, but he eventually >freed him, Oscar pouted and said "Lola is right, you ARE pathetic" >he strolled away. Crow: Hoo boy.... Tom: Oscar, you bastard! All Bugs did was make us laugh.... Joel: I guess we can add fans of Warner Brothers to the list of people waiting to flame Oscar.... Tom: If Oscar beats up Taz next, I'm leaving.... >Meanwhile, the B.Ball youma was still on his way to ACME city, >grunting and destroying everything, Tom: (imitating Ryoga) Furikan Koko doco da? >which no one could see it cuz he was in a dessert ha ha haaa! Crow: What kind? A piece of cake? A bowl of butterscotch pudding? Tom: He's on a hot fudge Sunday? Crow: Oh....I get it! The youma's inside the cherry on top! Tom: That's the first thing in this fic that makes sense.... >Back in looniversity, Joel: ....Furball was hiding in the basement, praying that Oscar wouldn't find him.... >Oscar was in the classroom with the rest, Tom: (imitating Professor) What's this *and the rest...* crap?!? >Fifi was still wanting to know where he was from, Crow: I'm guessing *Parts Unknown*.... >Buster was at his side "Yo Osc, great move there in the gym eh?" >Oscar grinned and replied Joel: (imitating Oscar) You're not getting my Bud Light, Buster.... >"yeah, i thought i'd lose all my Saiy....skills when i got to this di....i >mean city" Crow: (imitating Oscar) Which i'm writing about in this shi....i mean witty fanfic so people can flam....compliment me on my work. >He smiled nervously, Shirley came and said "Like i feel something >weird on you Osc.." Oscar raised an eyebrow, nervously"like what?" Crow: (imitating Shirley) It's as if, like, you had two kinds of genitals! Joel: Crow.... >Shirley rubbed her chin "Something as if you weren't from this world >or sumthing.." Tom: (imitating Obi Wan) It's as if thousands of readers suddenly cried out in warning and then were suddenly silenced.... Joel: (imitating Obi Wan) It's as if you're not only an incredibly crappy fanfiction writer, but a bestial hermaphrodite too! >"You must be malfunctioning Shirl" Plucky interrupted, Tom: Shirley's an android? Crow: If that's true, a valley girl must have programmed her.... Joel: (imitating Shirley) Like, drive not ready, ok? Abort, retry, fail, or some junk? Like I think I blew a circuit or SUMTHING! Tom: Shirley is but a poor freebot.... >"Like i wasn't talking to you" Shirley responded to Plucky's >interruption. Joel: Pay no attention to that duck behind the desk! >Oscar left the classrom before the next teacher came in, Tom: Even Oscar's afraid to mess with Onsen-Mark Sensei.... >and went outside the facility, and into it's backyard, he thoughtg it'd >be good if he increased his power during his stance in here, Crow: "Thoughtg?" Joel: I guess a super-saiyajin can't be bothered with mundane things like editing out typos.... Tom: Or pursuing relationships with the opposite sex of his own species.... >so he went to the perfecto prep. He eventually got there, Crow: (imitating Oscar) *gasp* *wheeze* I knew I should have.... *wheeze*....hailed a cab.... Tom: (imitating Benny the Cab) Can't you read?!? *Off-Duty*!!! Joel: Bugs might have been willing to take him there by tunneling, but Oscar had to be the big man on campus.... >he looked up and saw the spooky castle Crow: Xanadu, stately home of Charles Foster Kane.... Joel: (whispering) Rosebud.... >"Hm it's here alright" Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I reckon this must be the place, I reckon.... >He then walked to the main entrance and entered, Joel: Boy, that Oscar sure knows how to make an entrance.... >it was too quiet to be Perfecto prep suddenly, the floor opened and >almost swallowed Oscar Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, This place ain't perfect! It sucks!! Joel: (groans) >"Whoa!" Oscar shocked as managed to jump away, Tom: Tom dismayed as shakes his head at lousy grammar.... >One of the Perfecto bullies stept out and said "Who are u Crow: (imitating Rocky J. Squirrel) Again?!? Tom: Did New Line Cinema pay Oscar to promote Jackie Chan's latest film or what?!? Joel: (imitating Rambo) I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.... >and what are u doing here?" Oscar noticed him and responded Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I'm selling these fine leather jackets.... Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I have come here to whoop ass and screw toons! And I'm all out of whoop ass. He he he! >"I'm here to challenge Roderick Rat!" the bullie bursted out in >laughter "AAH HBAHA HA HA! Tom: (imitating tech) Uh, sorry about that! The laugh track machine was jammed for a split second. Continue reading....heh.... >YER KILLING ME! HA HA HA U BEAT OUR TOP HEAD >HONCHO! HA HA" Crow: Yeah, it is to laugh.... Tom: (imitating Bully) No one can see the Roderick, not no way, not no how! >Oscar ignored him and with a pout, he leaved the place Joel: Oscar made like a tree and *leaved*. Tom: (imitating Steve Urkel) I don't have to take this! I'm going home! >and went inside the instalation. Joel: So Oscar left by going back inside, or....? Tom: Oscar threw leaves all over the place and toilet papered their trees in bitter revenge. Crow: Commence the pantsing, gentlemen! >"Who the hell is him?!" Roderick Rat asked furiously, Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, him is my! Tom: (imitating Cagney) You....dirty rat.... Crow: Vewwy weww. wewease Wodewick! >"Ummm i don't know sir, he's from here..." One of his slaves said, Joel: A member of the *ratpack* I presume? Crow: After Space Jam, the Monstars found themselves blacklisted in the toon industry by Bugs Bunny and were forced to find work wherever they could get it.... >Roedrick Rat then smiled "He he he..if he wants to fight me...then i >shall plase him" Tom: Plase? Crow: Place? Phase? Praise? Phrase? Please? Joel: (shrugs) You got me.... >He then steped out of his place, and into the hallway, were Oscar was >still looking for him. Joel: Where was he before? I'm confused.... Tom: Okay. Oscar mistakes the word *where* for the word *were* and vice-versa? Joel: Yep. Tom: Okay, just wanted to clear that up. Crow: Why is Oscar picking a fight with Roderick anyway? What did he ever do to Oscar? Joel: Well, since there's no fierce street dogs around to abuse, Oscar had to substitute rats, I guess.... >A door opened and Roderick came out of it Tom: It wasn't a closet door, was it? Joel: Tom.... >"Rod..how nice to see you" Oscar said with a teasing voice, Roderick >then took off his cape and said Joel: (imitating Roderick) TOTORO! TOTOR....oops, I mean..... TORO! TORO! Crow: Wait a minute! Since when does Roderick wear a cape?!? Tom: He's stealing Frank Costanza's Lawyer's wardrobe now? >"So you wanna challenge me..what are u an idiot?" Oscar then >replied "Idiot is what idiot does"(It's Forrest bum coming soon to a >bad neighborhood teathre near u) Tom: Behold Oscar, entertainment critic! Joel: You haven't known pain until you've experienced Oscar trying to be funny.... Crow: (imitating Gump) Life is like a crappy self-insertion fic.... It really sucks and you have to learn to MST it.... Tom: Wow, that's deep, Crow.... >Roderick Rat then said Tom: (imitating Roderick) Ask a stupid question.... >"Show me what u got chump" Oscar grinned and his image suddenly >became fuzzy Crow: Uh oh. Look like we've got more technical problems.... Joel: Do not attempt to adjust your computer! Tom: Should we take a commercial break? Crow: Sounds good to me. Joel: We'll be right back after these messages.... * * * NOW AVAILABLE ON HOME COMPUTERS.... Lunari: The competition was fierce and the tension is high.... YOU CAN SEE THE CONTRIBUTIONS.... Jarald: People don't expect a stand-alone lemon to have anything but sex. Those that do, though, are even better. OF OVER 20 AUTHORS.... Angel: Good fight scenes are very difficult to write yet some of the best has been written in the past year. AS THEY HONOR THE FANFICTION OF 1997.... Shori: "Um, I've never done this before, speaking in front of a crowd before, but I'll try my best.: LIKE NEVER BEFORE.... Gary: This is one we've literally been waiting years for. If it doesn't win, it's because the readers have all died of old age. Kasumi: "Could it be...?" Wilde: "It is. NOW AVAILABLE FROM THE DESK OF MEGANE 6.7.... *"THE FIRST ANNUAL CHICKEN BALLS AWARDS"* E-MAIL FOR YOUR COPY TODAY.... * * * Joel: Okay, we're back! Is the fanfic fixed? Tom: I think so. Let's move on.... >"What the..." Roderick blinked, Oscar was righ behind him "Hello" >Roderick shocked and leaped, smashing his head to the ceiling and >then falling hard on his back SMASH, Tom: ....TV? Crow: Roderick needs to cut down on the booze.... >Roderick was astounded to see such speed on a 14/skunk, Joel: 14/skunk seeks 14/cat to star in BS/fanfic... Tom: Cute, Joel.... >he then launched a right fist into Oscar But he dodged it easily Tom: Considering the punch was thrown *at* Oscar, it's easy for the person throwing the punch to dodge it.... Crow: Oscar should have hired Flashman or RpM to choreograph his fight scenes.... >"That's your maximum strength?" Joel: (as Oscar) I bet you don't even come with the power of bleach! Tom: Roderick's no Star Wolf, that's for sure.... >Roderick, already furious, made a dual fist strike, Crow: If it's dual, should that be *fists*? >but Oscar grabbed hold of Roderick's fists and started to crunch it's >bones, Joel and Tom: (singing) Them bones, them bones, them dry bones.... Crow: Mmmm....I have a sudden urge for a Twix.... Tom: I could go for a Nestlie chocolate bar, myself.... >"ARRGHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?" Roderick yelled out, as >his bones were being cracked, Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, just cracking your knuckles for ya. He he he! >Oscar grinned and let him go. Oscar then sighed depressively as he >thought Roedrick would be more of a challenge Tom: And Oscar wept because he had no more fanfiction worlds to conquer.... Joel: Of course, he hasn't seduced Marissa Picard yet.... Tom: ....god....no.... >"Roderick. Expect to see the Looniversity's students, to be better than >you" He warned him and strolled away, Crow: (imitating Roderick) Like I give a rat's ass.... Joel: Crow.... Tom: (imitating Roderick) If your writing's any indication of the Looniversity's abilities, we have nothing to worry about! HA HA HA HA HA!!!! >the perfecto bullies, tryed to attack him of course, but roderick >stopped them "WAIT! Let him go!" All: (singing) Let him be....Let him be.... Tom: There are no answers.... >Roderick yelled at them, the bullies were puzzled "But why?" Tom: (imitating Roderick) Look at the title of this fic you idiot! How much of a fighting chance do you think we'll have? Joel: (imitating Roderick) Besides, if we don't get him, the MSTers will.... Crow and Tom: (imitating bullies) Duh, good plan, boss! He, he, he.... >Roderick then stood up and thought "If the looniversity is gonna have >ppl like him, then i must train my boys as well". Crow: (imitating Roderick) All right, you dirty rats! We're going to train like never before to beat those Loony Tunes! Luckily, we've managed to recruit a couple of soldiers from a recent war to train us personally. Tom: (imitating Nabiki) All right maggots! I want to see everyone smashing through tables right now! My friend, Kunou-Chan, will demonstrate.... Joel: (imitating Kunou) Remember, cretins! Your feet must falls on the table first before the rest of the body arrives! Like this....TOGGG!!! >Then at recess... Tom: ARGH!! That's it! I don't care if this *IS* Loony Tune Land, there's are *NO* recesses in University! Oscar tried to pull this crap in his high school too but *I'M* not going to let him get away with it! Joel: Tom, calm down! It's not worth getting all upset about it.... Tom: I'm sorry, Joel....(sobs)....It's just this fic is so stupid, it's maddening.... Joel: Hang in there, Tommy.... Crow: Besides, Oscar needed an excuse for an outdoor scene. Maybe it's lunchtime? >Oscar was alone, sitting leg-crossed Joel: Thank god for small favors.... >and eye closed, Crow: But he still kept an eye open for trouble. >Shirley had finished her lunch, and suddenly found Oscar Crow: See? I told you it was lunchtime. Tom: Oh, shut up.... Joel: Shirley should have quit when Oscar was lost.... >"Like how does he have such high KI?" she thought, as she also >could feel others's KI, after all she IS the spiritual girl in TTA, Crow: Toons Transcending Afterlife? Joel: Thoroughly Toasted Airheads? Crow: Totally There Anonymous? Joel: Tipsy Tibetan Alcoholics? (Crow and Tom stare at Joel) Joel: What? >Oscar opened his eyes and smiled "Come on out Shirl i know yer >there" Tom: (imitating megaphone) WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED.... COME OUT WITH YOUR AURA UP....AND NONE OF THAT WAYU WAYU WAYU NONSENSE OR WE'LL OPEN FIRE.... >Shirley smiled guilty and strolled to his side "how'd ya know i was >like here?" Oscar sitted normaly not cross-legged or anything, and >replied Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, my foot's asleep! >"As u, i can feel your KI, and i can even blast it out as a power >beam" Crow: Oh, what is he, Oscar Hinako-Sensei now? Gimme a break! >Shirley blinked "Like, how do you do that?" Oscar grimaced Tom: (Imitating Oscar) You're ... standing on ... my .. groin ... >"You mean, u don't know how to do it?... Crow: Just put your lips together and blow ... Joel: Crow! >i'm surprised, you, being the spiritual type in the classrom, and u don't >know how to blast your KI...whoa" Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, Like, What are u, stupid or sumthing!?! Tom: (Imitating Druggie) Hehehe....wo-ooah ....This is some great shit. Crow: (Imitating Druggie) Yeah, this totally blasts my Ki.... Joel: (imitating Joey Lawrence) Woah.... >Shirly pouted "Like, just show it to me ok?" Oscar agreed, and stood >up "Look carefuly ok?" "Ok" Oscar got in his battle stance and >concentrated some of his KI "Kaameee-Haameee.." Tom: Haammee and cheeseee.... Joel: (singing) He's a fire starter, twisted fire starter.... >A blue energy ball formed between his 2 hands, Shirley was astounded >and slightly backed up "HA!!" Oscar yelled, and released his >Kame-Hame-ha into the atmosphere. Crow: (imitating Shirley) Like, what manner of man are you that can summon ki energy without flint or tinder or skill or spirit or some junk like that? Tom: (imitating NASA) Roger that, control, We have an unidentified flying object that just entered Earth's orbit. We are checking it out now....It appears to be some sort of Hawaiian royalty.... Joel: Look out! I hear he packs a mean punch! >Buster, Babs and the rest saw the blue beam emanate from the school, >and quickly went to the source of it. Crow: (British Accent) THERE'S THE WITCH! BURN HER!!! BURN HER!!! Tom: I thought Oscar was outside the school? Who's editing this fanfic anyway? >"Whoa, like Bravo!" Tom: And the arts community weeps openly. Crow: If they aren't too busy retching.... >Oscar chuckled a bit "Thanks, did you see how it's done?" he asked her, Tom: (imitating Shirley) Like, beg your pardon? I was talking to some celestial spirits or some junk like that and I wasn't paying attention.... Crow: (imitating Shirley) Like, you scream "HA!!" really, really loud like an idiot, right? >"Yep, like i'm gonna try it right now" Shirl responded and stood up >"Ok, show me" Oscar said, steping back a little, Shirley then >concentrated and eventually managed to get a small blue ball on her >hands (Joel frantically slams his hands over Crow and Tom's mouths before they can say anything....) Joel: Let it pass, guys....Let it pass.... >"WHOA i did it!" She yelled in excitation Crow: Geez, there's enough Oscar-isms in this fanfic to fill a phone book.... Tom: (Imitating Police Officer) That's one citation for that WAYU WAYU crap. You can pay the fine and mail it to this address. Joel: (Imitating Alicia Silverstone) It's way existential. >"Careful now" Oscar warned her, Shirley was TOO impressed by >herself, Joel: Yeah and Oscar's the very definition of humility.... Tom: (imitating Shirley) Like, Wow! >and launched it to directly to someone who was passing by that >moment, Crow: (imitating Shirley) Like, hey stranger! Look what I just learn.....oops.... >BLAM! the beam hitted that person, and it was Little Beeper >(YESSS!!) Joel: Not the Beeper! Aww..... Crow: Talk about a lucky shot.... Tom: Shirley blew up the Beeper? What if someone tries to page 'em? >"Oops, like sorry Beeper" Oscar laughed at that Tom: Ha ha ha! Nothing like involuntary toonslaughter to give you a chuckle.... Crow: I thought you needed a pure heart to be a Super Saiyen? How did Oscar manage to become one? Joel: Well, the Saiyen's *are* dying out.... >and then, almost everyone (Including Fifi) was learning the >kame-hame-ha, so they could beat Perfecto prep. with no trouble at >all. Tom: Oh, COME ON! This is getting just a little *too* stupid now.... Crow: Dragon Ball Z's going to need a PR campaign just to undo the damage this Oscarfic is doing.... Joel: (imitating Elmer Fudd) So wong, shotgun....Hewwo Ki-Bwasts! Crow: Something tells me Bugs will be hightailing it to Disney very shortly.... >Oscar left Shirley, Tom: (as Shirley) Like, Thank God! >with the others as he went to get something to eat, but suddenly. Lola >appeared "Oscar..." Oscar heard her and turned around "Yes Lola?" >Lola smiled at Oscar and hugged him Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I'm not the world's most physical guy, cuz when she squeesed me tight she nearly broke my spine.... Crow and Joel: (singing) Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola >"How do i say this..?" Joel: Say it with feeling.... Crow: (imitating Lola) I hate you! Joel: Nicely done. >Oscar blushed lightly and suggested "Just say it Lola" Crow: (imitating Lola) I *REALLY* HATE YOU.... >he smiled coyly and breathed calmly "I like you" Lola finally >managed to say, Oscar pouted as he knew he had to leave her soon Joel: Why? He didn't seem all that concerned with getting back to Artemis before.... Crow: He has to flee before Ted Turner sicks his lawyers on him.... >"I'm begining to repent from coming here..." Joel: Repent, sinners, and ye shall be saved!! Tom: You've got a lot more than that to repent for, Oscar.... Crow: Great. More preaching. As if we didn't get enough of that from Umino.... >he thought worried for her and Fifi, Joel: Wow! Check it out! Oscar finally spelled the word *thought* correctly! Tom: Oh whee. Oh joy. Oh happy happy day. Crow: Throw him a bone, why don't ya? Joel: Geez, sorry I mentioned it.... >and said "I-I like you too coach but.." Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I'm not really into bestiality....Oh, wait, yes I am. Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, look lady! I just wanted a quickie from you, I don't have time for your emotional commitment crap! >Lola then let him go and asked "But what.." Oscar then thought >"Wait a minute..if i fake my own death then, i wouldn't end like an >asshole he he" Tom: Hey, it worked for all those Marvel Comic Superheroes.... Crow: (imitating Gump) Asshole is as Asshole does.... Joel: You know, this is actually kind of cryptic considering Oscar's now presumed dead and he's got a shrine dedicated to him.... Crow: Yeah, him and Kurt Cobain.... >he shook his head and giggled "No nothing," Tom: Everyone ends with one of those, Oscar. >Time passed and at the end of the class day, everyone went out, and >Fifi followed Oscar. Tom: Oh, don't spare us any of the details, Oscar... Joel: Follow that bir....uh....skun....I mean....hermaphrodite! >But Oscar didn't had an excact place to go, Crow: Go to hell! Go directly to hell! Do not pass go! Do not collect $200! Tom: Speaking of going....It's time, guys. Joel: I can think of a few places for him to go.... * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE "Bring out the box!" Crow did so and Joel reached inside to grab a bunch of fan letters and began to read them out loud. "As always, to protect the privacy of the people who wrote in, we've left off the last name and e-mail address of the senders. Don't worry, they're all genuine." Tom pointed out. "Our first letter comes to us from Elliottx and he writes...." *I really like your MSTings and hope you continue to do them. I am a huge fan of MST3k and think that you easily make the real writers proud. Just wanted to thank you for the laughs. Elliottx* "You're welcome, Elliottx! It's out pleasure!" Tom replied cheerfully. "Our next letter come from Thomas, reguarding our X-mas MSTing.... *This was really, really funny, all the way through. It really shows how much better carefully planned MST's done over a long time are than the quick C&C variety (though I've never been too much of a fan of those in the first place.) I especially appreciated the "Be Like Billy !" reference (I miss that show) and the "This is from Dr. Thinker's Own Mind" continuing gag, which worked much better than things of that type usually do. The Inspector Gadget section was great, too. This was an excellent MSTing of a really bad fanfic, and the host segments weren't too long or too short. Good job.* "Thanks, Thomas! That makes us feel all warm and toasty inside." Crow replied. "One thing we've tried to do is keep the length of our MSTings reasonable. That's why this Oscarfic is divided into four parts and the last few have been split into two parts. We appreciate any and all suggestions from our readers on what format you like best." Joel added. "Next, we have a letter from Blair and she writes...." *Hi, My name is blair and I just had to mail you about your MSTing. I read a few and had to stop mid paragraph because I was laughing too hard and couldn't breath. I felt a little dizzy too. It is extremely funny when you you MST Oscar. Well I had to say it. Keep up the good work. Blair* "I'm getting a little dizzy from all this praise. But I love it! I LOVE IT!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" Tom exclaimed as he laughed. "Geez, get over yourself, Servo!" Crow muttered. "Next up, we have a letter from Ryan and he writes...." *wonderful! Up there with your best MSTies!! next, time, I just need to remember not to try to drink anything while reading it.. ^_^ (boy, do those computer lab monitors look at you funny when you spew coke all over their computers.....^_^;;;) keep up the good work!* "Oh, who am I kidding?! I LOVE C&C TOO!!!" Crow screamed as he and Tom danced cheek to cheek around the bridge. Joel chuckled at them before pulling out the final letter." "This letter...." Joel began. "....means a great deal to me and it really made my day. It was sent to us after our last MSTing, *Trapped*...." *I think there is a pretty good reason why you've won so many awards for MSTing fanfiction. As soon as I can think of it, I'll let you know. :P Actually, it's blatantly obvious: Somehow you find the *worst* fanfics, and then disembowel them with riffs that are actually humorous! There's no way I could do something like this (the excellent riffs or possess the intestinal fortitude to wade through so many bad fics unaided). Take a bow. Jamie* Joel folded up the letter carefully and smiled. "Thank you for the kind words. They really mean a lot to us. It really makes us feel good that we can make people laugh and we hope we can continue to do so for a very long time to come. But in all fairness, our riffs wouldn't have been as funny without the C&C and assistance of people such as Megane 6.7, Gary Kleppe, Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong and Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh. These four people have all been very helpful and supportive and they deserve to take a bow too. We couldn't have done it without them...." "Way to stay within the fourth wall, Joel!" Tom remarked wryly. "Hey, it's a fanfic and he's relaxed!" Crow added. Joel sighed and was about to give a sarcastic reply when alarms and sirens suddenly rang out. "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT OSCARFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out. CONTINUED IN PART 4.... Three down. One more to go. Will the mysterious being stalking Oscar be enough to stop him? Will Lola and Fifi be able to escape the clutches of the egotistical Oscar? Only one way to find out. ;) *TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO) EPISODE 16: OSCAR TOON PT. 4 (A Sailor Moon/Dragon Ball Z/Warner Brothers Oscarfic MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. "Tiny Toons" and the "Warner Brothers" characters are the property of Warner Brothers and all the distributors of their work. "Dragon Ball" is the property of Akira Toriyama and all the distributors of his work. "Oscar Toon" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend this person for making fun of his/her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) Warning: This fic contains mature content and a pinch of lemon. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! (Door 6: It slides open on both sides..) (Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on.) (Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.) (Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling.) (Door 2: It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and touches the door. The door vanishes.) (Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. Joel: Should we even bother trying to recap? Tom: Nah.... Crow: Oscar's courting Fifi. Nuff said. >"Er, Oscar?" Fifi asked him with a lil voice tone, Joel: Voice tone? Is that like a Boss Tone? Crow: Mighty sure. Tom: At the sound of the voice tone the time will be 1:22 pm... All: *BOOMSHACALAKA!!!* Tom: Thank you. >Oscar turned around and replied "Yes Feef?" Joel: HALT! FEEF! Tom: (singing) She's a feef of hearts....Someone please arrest her.... Crow: (imitating Fifi) Where's ze Feef? Tom: Don't ask.... >"Where do you live?", Oscar then sighed "Well i don't have an excact >place to spend my days...", Joel: Oscar the hermaphroditic skunk toiled away his years in a former cactus. >Fifi then thought "YES!", and said "You can stay at my place while >you find somewhere to stay.." All: (groans) Crow: This must be where Megane 6.7 meant *a pinch of lemon*.... Joel: Oh, well I'm sure Oscar wouldn't want to impose upon Fifi.... >Oscar smiled and agreed with her, they walked to her house Joel: .....uh, never mind. >(Dumped remodeled car actually), Tom: Oscar moved in with Riff Raff, Hector, Wordsworth and Mungo? Crow: Hey, don't forget that oh-so-fine, curvy feline, Cleo! Rrrrrrrrowl..... Tom: Hey, I wouldn't blame Oscar if he went after her. She was drawn so well and those leg warmers....Mmmmmm.... Joel: You know, you guys are starting to sound dangerously like Oscar.... (Crow and Tom bigsweats) >Fifi sat in the couch with Oscar, All: TOGGG!!! >they chatted of normal topics. "Oscar...why did you kissed me?" Tom: That's a normal topic? Joel: In a self-insert, yeah. Crow: (Imitating Oscar) Duh, I kiss animated females all the time, Skunklady. >Oscar cleared his throat "Believe it or not, Joel: ....Ripley. >i've known you for 3 years now, but i never had a chance to tell you >what i felt like" Tom: (imitating Terry Jones) Like I'd rather....just....sing.... Crow: (imitating Michael Palin) Stop that! Stop that! You're not gonna do a song while I'm here! Tom: So Oscar fell for an cartoon animal at the age of 10?!? Crow: He's not about to break the habit. Joel: Ugh. >Fifi looked puzzled "Huh? How can you know me if we just met >today?" Oscar grinned Tom: Get a clue, Fifi! He's been stalking you! Joel: (imitating Oscar) i liked you since the moment i saw you. No one deserves you but me. He he he.... Crow: (shudders) Don't do that, Joel..... >"Let's just say i've seen you chase Furrball, Calamity Coyote and i >have witnessed when you got caught by Elmyra...that sucked" Crow: Fortunately, Mr. Skullhead acted as a character witness and Elmyra was incarcerated. Tom: It seemed like a *GOOD IDEA* but when he realized he was still attached to her hair and was imprisoned with her, it turned out to be a *BAD IDEA.* Joel: The End. >Fifi raised her eyebrows and tought "Whoa...he knows a lot about >me..." Crow: (imitating Fifi) Time to change ze locks again, no? >Oscar kept talking All: SSSSSSSSHUT UP!!! (quiet voice) Thank you. >"The only bad thing is..i won't be here for long.." Fifi then blinked, Crow: (imitating Fifi) Ouch! Ze false eyelashes hurt.... Tom: Bluh-link! >as Oscar continued "I know...this has been the first time you've >kissed someone..and i'd love to stay...but" Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, wherever there are innocent furry animals to be brainwashed into sex, you'll find me! Wherever there are fanfiction universes to screw with, I'll be there! Crow: Not since Judge Doom have the toons faced such a grave threat.... >Fifi putted her hands on his shoulders Crow: Yeesh, that's got to hurt. Joel: Fore! >"But what?!" Oscar closed his eyes "I'm not from this world... Crow: Now *there's* an understatement... >i'm really a "Human".." Tom: And lord knows, he's certainly erred enough.... Crow: Human? Good! Sacrifice him to your gods! Tom: To be like the hu-man! Joel: (shaking his head back and forth) H....U....M....A....N....a human....human....human.... >Fifi shook him a lil "I don't care!" Oscar then said "I'm a Herm.." Fifi >blinked, Joel: (imitating Fifi) Mon dou! Ze stupid eyelashes are ze bane of my beauty! Tom: Like parenthesis, with hair. >but finally said "Even if you are a Herm, or a human" Crow: How about a Herman? >Oscar then parted her Tom: Oscar: Hermaphrodite Hairstylist. Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, say miss, after I perm your hair, would you like me to groom your cat? No really, it's no trouble at all.... >"Fifi, understand this, i don't want to make a relation with you, and >then leave just like that" Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I want to make hot skunky love with you and *THEN* leave just like that!" Tom: First things first.... Joel: Oscar B. Wilde, Fifi La Fume. No relation. >Fifi got closer to him and layed her head on his legs Crow: (imitating Fifi) Hey! What's this strange thing between your.... OH MY GOD!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Joel: That's *one* way to find out his secret.... >"Why do you have to leave...?" Oscar sighed sadly "I have to, my >friends are waiting for me, Crow: Ernie, Bert, Elmo, Cookie Monster, Big Bird, Snuffaluffagus.... Joel: Don't forget Slimy and Grongetta! >Artemis is waiting for me... Tom: Oh, *NOW* he thinks about Artemis.... >i can't leave them" Fifi finally let out a tear, Tom: (raspberry sounds) Crow: (imitating Fifi) Excuse moi, I had ze beans last night, no? Joel: (sighing) You guys.... >and started crying softly. Crow: Does one tear count as crying? Joel: Maybe she's doing an impression of Johnny Depp? Tom: Crybaby.... >Oscar felt bad for her, "But even if i have to leave, i'll at least make >you happy..." Fifi, still crying, said "What?" All: HE SAID BUT EVEN IF I HAVE TO LEAVE, I'LL AT LEAST MAKE YOU HAPPY!!! Crow: (imitating Fifi) You mean you'll leave right now and never return? >Oscar lifted her face up Joel: Hey, there's room for only one *doctor* of bad fanfiction and that's Dr. Thinker! Crow: Dr. T could kick Oscar's ass anyday! Tom: (imitating P.A.) Calling Dr. Howard....Dr. Oscar....Dr. Howard.... >"But only if it's ok with you..", Fifi suddenly realized what he was >trying to say, Joel: That makes one of us.... Tom: Care to fill us in? Crow: (Imitating Fifi) Vu' are sicko! >"Please do...", Oscar closed his eyes "Ok then.." and he got closer to >her, finally embracing her in a passionate kiss, Fifi then turned the >lights off.... Tom: Oh, thank you Fifi! You have no idea how much the readers appreciate it.... Crow: Yeah, but what if we can still hear it? Tom: ARGHHHH!!! (starts to vibrate) Joel: Crow.... >The next day,Oscar and Fifi went to school, Oscar had to avoid >security again (He he ain't i a stinga?), Joel: A what?!? Could we get someone to translate this into English, please? Crow: I think he means a stinger.... Tom: Hey, that's out trademark! Get your own! >Fifi got to the classroom, but Oscar waited her outside. Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, May I take your order, Miss? >Suddenly, someone yelled "Yo Oscie! think fast!" Crow: He can't! He's not on his feet! Tom: Zing! >a B.ball went directly to his face BBAAAAAM!!! Oscar got hit by it >and smashed into the ground Tom: (imitating Bugs) Eh, how'd ya like that, doc? >"DO'H!", Crow: ....nuts! >"He he sorry Oscie, you ok?" the person said going to his side, Oscar >stood up with his face all reddened, Joel: (imitating Elmo) Boy, is my face red.... >he looked and the person was Lola in her Levis-and "Looniversity" >shirt, spinning the B.ball on her finger, Crow: Oscar-ism #14: B.ball.... Tom: Levis must be *really* desperate to put a product placement in an Oscarfic.... Joel: Order a Looniversity T-shirt and Levis today and receive a free tennis, personally autographed by Oscar himself! Crow: Visit www.warner.toons/hermaphrodite/oscar.com for more information regarding these fine products! Tom: Like the Tickle-Me-Oscar Doll? Joel: Ugh....don't remind me.... >"Oh hi Lola...ough" Tom: Oscar spontaneously horked up a hairball. Crow: How did he get hair down his throat? Tom: ARGHHHH!!! (Shakes harder) Joel: Crow, stop it. Crow: Bite me. >Lola giggled and helped him stand up, "So wanna play another 1 on 1?" >she asked with a smile, Tom: Incoming Lemon scene, gentlemen, THIS IS *NOT* A DRILL! REPEAT! THIS IS *NOT* A DRILL.... >"Ok, but be careful he he" Oscar grinned. Crow: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new champion! Joel: What do you mean? Crow: I just realized this fanfic broke the all time record for smiling! So far, this fanfic has 28 smiles and 12 grins making for a grand total of 40! This beats the previous record holder, *Transitions*, which had 29 smiles and 3 grins for a total of 32, not counting our smiling jokes of course.... Tom: Is there an all-time record for most vomiting from a fanfic? If so, I nominate *Artemis's Lover*.... >They walked to the school gym, where Lola took off her jeans leaving >only her shorts, Oscar glazed to her well formed legs, Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, you don't mind me spreading honey glaze all over your legs and licking it off, do ya? Tom: (imitating Lola) Not at all Oscie! Usually I'd cripple anyone that would even suggest such a perverted thing to me....but for some reason, I'm not bothered by it at all now! In fact, the thought even excites me! It's like I'm a completely different person! Joel: See Oscar. See Oscar write a self-insertion fanfic. Don't be an Oscar. >his eyes lighting up, Joel: He's got Betty Davis eyes.... Crow: Maybe Oscar's a distant cousin of Trumpy.... >when Lola said "Yo Oscie, c'mon" Oscar shook his head and tought >"No that could never happen..." and went to the court with her, Tom: Today, on a very special episode of Judge Judy.... >"Ready?" Lola said with a grin, they began playing, the gym was >locked up, so no one could enter, and they could have a private >game/talk, without prying ears, or hidden eyes, Crow: What about probing tongues? Joel: Crow....if you don't cut it out.... Tom: (head smoking) DANGER! DANGER! JOEL ROBINSON! MY HEAD IS APPROACHING CRITICAL MASS.... Joel: Stay frosty, Tommy-boy! >in one particular move, Lola jumped high above, as Oscar tripped and >fell below the hoop, he was flat on his back, Lola dunked the B.ball, >and it fell down, almost hitting Oscar in his crotch, but he didn't >noticed it, Tom: Yes, it's the latest in bad fanfiction, redundant commas! Joel: (Imitating Lola) Damn, missed. >Lola fell and landed over Oscar, her legs spread apart as she sat right >in Oscar's crotch, of course, Oscar blushed immediately, as Lola was >on top of him, she smiled and said "I kinda like this position...don't >you?" Tom: I liked it a lot better when Lauren Holly and Jason Scott Lee did it in *Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story*.... Crow: Oscar's ripped off everyone else, why stop now? Tom: Yeah, he could be an X-Files writer! Joel: Spam it, Tom.... >(OW mAN! she's hot!), Crow: Good. Maybe she'll burst into flames.... Joel: Ouch.... >Oscar had a funny little smile on his face and his clit let out a tiny >part of his juice, All: @_@ Tom: Critical Mass, CriTiCaL mAsS, CRIT--- (His head explodes in a flash of pyrotechnics.) Crow: Bloobity, bloobity, bloobity! I LiKe sOCks, STeVe--- (His head explodes in a flash of pyrotechnics.) Joel: MUST....retain....sanity! ARRRRRGH!!!! (His head throbs slightly but doesn't explode.) Gotta....put the bots....back together.... (Joel quickly pulls out a roll of duct tape and gets to work fixing Tom and Crow. When he is finished, he activates them.) Joel: Get together, guys! We *CAN* do this! Tom: (coughing) Br-bring it on, Oscar! Crow: I....am....READY TO RUUUMMMBBBBLE! Joel: Right! We're on the home stretch! Hang in there! >as Lola (Still in that position) got closer to his face, and whispered to >his ear "Are you up to it?..." Oscar gasped at this, and weakly said >"Ye-Yes....", Lola smiled seductively, as she took off her shirt.. Tom: Sproing! Crow: (as Oscar) Duh, Whoa! *Those* are real! And they're spectacular! He, he, he... Joel: (imitating Kurt from Dear John) But in the heat of battle.... Oscar's solider failed to salute.... >The B.Ball Youma was at the outstreaks of Acme city, Tom: I don't even want to know what *outstreaks* means.... Joel: A little glass cleaner'll take those right off. >"Oscar! i know you're close!" the Youma kept advancing Crow: He clawed his way to the top, trampling those foolish enough to get in his way.... Tom: (imitating Youma) The plot is on the way! Really! >A while later, Oscar and Lola were gasping for air, Crow: (imitating Lloyd Bridges) By this time, my lungs were aching for asbestos.... Joel: Cute, Crow.... >"I didn't knew you were a Herm...." Lola said a little exhausted, "I >didn't know you were a Virgin" Joel: I didn't know that was a lemon.... Tom: Yeah, I can't believe Oscar skipped the lemon scenes. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.... Crow: It still put a lot of unpleasant images in my mind. Besides, how could Lola not know Oscar was a herm? Tom: Maybe Oscar wore pants as a skunk.... >Oscar said smiling and still gasping, Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I need my inhaler! >Lola giggled lightly for that. Tom: The poor girl's gone loony....and I don't mean toons! Crow: (imitating Lola) Revenge is a dish best served cold, Oscie deary. For Felica was in fact....my half sister. And as the poison slowly spreads through your system, Artemis will be all mine and you will die as you have lived....as a skunk. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Joel: You watch too many soap operas, Crow.... >*LATER* Tom: ....alligator. >Oscar took a mop, and cleaned the "Little mess" they did, Crow: Oscar learned too late that Lola wasn't housebroken.... Joel: Ick! Crow.... >Lola felt a lil weird as she had lost her "V". Tom: Well, at least she minded her P's and Q's.... >Then suddenly, the earth started shaking, Joel: I thought the lemon scene was already over? Crow: Uh oh! Looks like the rest of the tectonic plates from *Trapped* decided to bang together.... Tom: (imitating Bill Cosby) It's Fat Albert coming for ya! HEY! HEY! HEY! >"What's that?" Lola said a lil worried, and the ground kept shaking, >each time a STOMP sound was heard, they went out of the gym, and >saw that something was breaking havoc in the city Crow: Could it be....? Tom: Do you think....? Joel: Who else....? All: GODZILLA HAS COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!! YES!!!! >"Aw damn!" Tom: There goes the Acme city dam.... Crow: YEAH!!! GIVE EM HELL, GODZILLA!!! >Oscar thought "It better not be what i think it is", Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, Sailor Jupiter warned me this might happen someday.... Crow: (imitating Solider 1) Oh my god....He found me....I don't know how but he found me.... >Lola then followed Oscar, as he ran down to the havoc site. Tom: I would think Godzilla was causing enough havoc as it is.... >Oscar pouted as he saw what he feared it'd be Joel: (ominously) Behold the pale mutated lizard....the man that rode on him was death....and hell followed with him.... Tom: (imitating Val Kilmer) It's not revenge he's after....it's the reckoning. Crow: All right! Now, this is getting good.... >"Aw damn, a fucking Youma, my powers are way down...but i think >i can handle it", Lola grew concerned "Umm Oscar... Crow: (imitating Lola) Does the name *Custer* mean anything to you? >what is this?" she said as she saw the B.ball creep youma, All: Dang.... Tom: Wait, don't lose hope yet! Maybe it's Eva-11's Android come to finish Oscar at last! Crow: We can only hope.... >Oscar replied,"A youma sweetie.." Joel: (imitating Lola) Don't call me sweetie! Crow: (imitating Oscar) Can I call you Sugar Plum? Joel: (imitating Lola) No! Crow: (imitating Oscar) Pussycat? Joel: (imitating Lola) No! Crow: (imitating Oscar) Angel drawers? Joel: (imitating Lola) No, you may not! Get on with it! >the youma then turned around and saw Oscar, "OSCAR! your time >has come!" Crow: Let's win this one for the Beeper! >Oscar frowned and got in his fighting stance "C'mon!" he yelled, >"Lola stand back", Lola stept back from the fighting place, the other >toons didn't waited too long to appear on the scene, Tom: (imitating Bugs) There he is! That's the maroon that stole my honey bunny! Crow: It's time for the WB toons to settle their differences, unite under Elmer Fudd, and kick some ass! Joel: (imitating Fudd singing Wagner) Kill the Hewmaphwodite....Kill the Hewmaphwodite....Kill the Hewmaphwodite.... >Fifi was with them, and saw Oscar preparing to fight the Youma. Joel: Let's see...I believe Cammy's theme from Street Fighter Alpha 2 Gold will do nicely here.... Crow: (imitating Shang Tsung) ROUND 1....FIGHT! Tom: (imitating Michael Buffer) FROM THE THOUSANDS OF TOONS IN ATTENDANCE....AND THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE READING AROUND THE WORLD.... LLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO KICK OSCAR'S ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.... >"OSCAR!" Fifi yelled at him, this distracted Oscar and the Youma >attacked him with a red beam, Oscar got hit by the beam and >smashed into a nearby wall, Crow: (imitating Youma) You think that was bad? Wait until you see my PURPLE beam!!! Tom: (imitating Youma) Lola! Thanks for the assist! Joel: (imitating Lola) No problem! Anytime! >"Ough nice move but!" he then dashed forward and attacked the >youma with a mega triple kick, which connected easily, Tom: Uh oh! That's even more powerful than a mega *double* kick! Crow: Let's hope the Youma knows the secret, double dog, quadruple twisting, triple pounding, peace loving pacifist, GROIN PULL!!! Joel: Don't you need a Game Genie for that? >but the youma countered with a nega fist that Oscar barely managed >to evade, Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, oh yeah! Take this! HURRICANE SMASH!!! Crow: (imitating Youma) Ha! Back at you! REVENGE OF THE HURRICANE!!! Tom: (imitating Oscar) SHINING SMASH!!! Crow: (imitating Youma) GALACTIC ATTACK!!! Tom: (imitating Oscar) GENOCIDE SONIC!!! Crow: (imitating Youma) BEST THUNDER!!! Tom: (imitating Oscar) BURNING ATTACK!!! Crow: (imitating Youma) BURNING BLAST!!! Joel: Uh guys.... Tom: (imitating Oscar) ATOMIC SMASH!!! Crow: (imitating Youma) THUNDER PULSE!!! Joel: GUYS!!! (Tom pauses in mid shout and looks at Joel. Then he sheepishly returns to his seat, Crow doing the same a moment later.) >and he made his infamous Kame-Hame-Ha!, Tom: Uh-huh.... >"Check this! it's my KAME-HAME-HA!" Crow: (imitating youma) I can read the narration, dickweed.... >a blue energy ball began forming on his hands, the youma was >intimidated by it and blocked, the energy ball was small, due to >Oscar's lack of energy, and he finally released it Tom: ....five years later. Joel: And I thought Goku and Vegita fusing together to form Gojita took it's sweet time.... >"HAAAA!!!" he shouted as the beam stroke the youma, Crow: (imitating Youma) A little lower and to the right....ahhhh, that's the spot.... >but the youma persisted, Oscar was already sweating hard, and he >knew that he'd must use his ultimate move, All: RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!! Joel: "When in doubt, get hell out..." - Jack Acid, 1998 >"Lola....everyone...goodbye.." he said with a smile, the youma raised >an eyebrow, and Lola gasped Crow: Most illogical.... >"Wait...no!" Fifi also exalted when she heard this, Crow: (imitating Fifi singing) Glo-o-o-o-ria! Tom: (imitating Fifi singing) Free! Free as ze wind blow! >Buster was astounded to see what Oscar was about to do for them. Crow: (Imitating Buster) He's going to die for us! Wahoo! Joel: Ask not....what your hermaphrodite can do for you....but what you can do for your hermaphrodite.... >Oscar then with his speed he ran and grabbed hold of the youma, the >grip VERY tightened, Tom: INTENSE....CLENCHING....ACTION.... >"Hey you lil motherfucker let me go!!" Joel: Shouldn't that be lil MF.? >Oscar grinned and he began concentrating his remaining energy, >making a big yellow energy field around them, Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, let's see how you handle my *URINE* Ki Blast! Joel: Ugh! Crow, that's gross.... Tom: Oscar's pissed off enough people as it is.... >"OSCAR! DON'T!!" All: YES!!! SACRIFICE YOURSELF!!! DO IT!!! >Lola yelled desperately, almost crying, Fifi was puzzled for Lola's >actions, and she tought "Hmmm...nah it couldn't be, they're dif. ages", Joel: And that makes all the dif. in the world.... Crow: I thought Oscar said Lola was 14? How old does that make Fifi? Joel: I think we'd best leave that question unanswered.... >Oscar smiled one last time "Good-bye....my friends.." Crow: (imitating Shatner) My....little friends....my....special friends.... Tom: (imitating Toons) HEY OSCAR....GET BENT!!! >the energy's light was WAY too bright to see a thing, and the Youma >yelled in pain "AAAARRRRGHHHH!!!!!" Crow: The Youma must be reliving *Toon Lights*.... >when the whole dust cleared off, only crushed pavement was left. Crow: And when that was cleared off, only wood was left, and when that was cleared off, only dirt was left, and when that was cleared off, ONLY JIMMY HOFFA WAS LEFT, AND WHEN THAT WAS CLEARED OFF, ONLY SOLID ROCK WAS LEFT AND WHEN THAT WAS CLEARED.... Joel: (puts his hand on Crow's shoulder) Uh, I think they get the idea, Crow. Crow: Sorry, got a little carried away there. >"NOOOOO!!!!" Lola yelled, as she rushed to the place where Oscar >was ast standing, she knelt looking down, crying softly, she looked >upwards and imagined Oscar's face in the sky. Joel: (singing) Oscar in the sky....with diamonds.... Crow: If I saw Oscar's face in the sky I would drop a load. Joel: Yuck, Crow! >That night Crow: ....things happened, stuff blew up, it was cool. All: (imitating toons singing) NA NA NA NA....NA NA NA NA.... HEY HEY HEY....GOOD-BYE!!! >"Oscar...perhaps the only boy who isn't a complete jerk" Said Lola, >alone in a bench All: TOGGG!!! >looking at the moon, Crow: I wonder what Lola imagines when she sees the moon? Tom: With it's pocked and scarred surface? Probably Oscar's.... Joel: Don't say it, Tom.... >she thought if she'd find someone as him, "Oscar..". Tom: Geez! Get over it! Move on with your life! Crow: They could always make a sequel to Space Jam.... Joel: Only if Camelot bombs.... >Fifi was in her house, looking at her mirror, remembering what >Oscar told her "I'll leave soon" she then sniffed "But why did you had >to leave this way?" Crow: (imitating Fifi) Why couldn't your death have been gorier? >In a lone part of Acme city, Oscar was already refueled with his >normal power, due that the youma was destroyed and it's nega energy >field was gone, he wanted to stay but he had to return home. Joel: ....and those are all completely different thoughts... >He couldn't stand say good-bye to them... Tom: So, why bother! Crow: ....and they couldn't stand him, period. >he sighed sadly and fled to the big WB, Crow: I don't suppose there's any chance Phil Silvers will drive out of a nearby river and run over Oscar, is there? Tom: Probably not.... >the WB opened to Oscar and he went in, surprisingly, he returned >just where he left, he saw Artemis in the bed, the lights off, and the >exact hour he left, meaning that time froze when he was in Tiny >Toon/ Looney tune land. Joel: Hey! Oscar ripped off my time flux alarm clock invention from the Hellraiser MSTing! Crow: Are you surprised? Joel: Not really, now that you mention it.... >He wa releived, of that, and simply went to sleep with Arty. Tom: His last name wouldn't happen to be Johnson, would it? Joel: Oscar's sleeping with a member of the Fantastic Four?!? Where does it end!?! WHERE DOES IT END!?! Crow: Uh oh! Oscar forgot to beat up some fierce street dogs before climbing into bed! There's gonna be hell to pay, come the morning.... >Meanwhile in the enemy's base: "Dammit!" Kaoline punched the >wall, in anger, Tom: (imitating Kaoline) I barely got any screen time! Crow: Trust me honey, you got off lucky.... >as her first attempt failed, "Well, at least there's still Chris and >Felicia hm hm hm ha ha ha ha!!!" she laughed wickedly. Crow: Actually, I'd classify that laugh as slightly hideous.... Tom: Who's this Chris guy, anyway? Chris Davies? Joel: Only if Kaoline *comes to his window*.... Crow: (groans) Tom: Maybe it's Chris Willmore? Joel: Only if this fic is set in the year *3473 1/2*.... Crow: (groans) Please....stop.... >Finally, the next day in Tiny Toon/Looney Tune land, Crow: The rest of the toons returned home and the streets were still filled with the sounds of mass celebration with the departure of Oscar.... Joel: Pinky and the Brain were devising yet another plan to try and take over the world.... Tom: How about sending Oscar over to Disney? There's a diabolical plan for you.... >Fifi went back to school hoping to find another special someone, Tom: (imitating Plucky) Hey, I'm still here, gorgeous! Crow: (imitating Fifi) Ze sigh....I guess I'll have to pine after Elmer Fudd again....I find bald men zo sexy.... >and Lola went back to stand the whole dumbasses that called her >"Doll" or harased her sexually Crow: .....against the wall while she emptied her uzis into them. Tom: Nothing like a spraying a little hot lead to ease the pain.... Joel: Guys.... >"A normal day...damn" she said as she went to the gym once more.... Tom: (imitating Lola) I can't believe I turned down Ryoucilo's fic for this one! What was I thinking?!? Joel: Hey, after *P-Chan's Lover* and all the other sickfic parodies he's done lately, she was probably a little wary of working with him.... Crow: Still, you have to respect a guy with a work output like his.... Tom: True enough. Let's just hope he finds some better things to write about.... >The End....for now! Tom: It's over....It's finally over.... Crow: We....We survived him for a third time.... Joel: We did it! We're the first triple crown Oscar-fic MSTers! Crow and Tom: (weakly) Yay.... >I hope you liked it he he he, i tried to spell check ok? no promises Tom: Like we'd believe you anyway... Crow: Promise us nothing and we'll give you squat! Joel: Give yourselves some credit guys! You really hung in there! I'm proud of you! Tom: Thanks, Joel. Now, can you please deliver us from evil? Joel: (picks Tom up) Sure thing, Tommy.... * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE Joel leaned against the wall next to the Holocabana doors as he waited for the bots to finish their *surprise* program. Then the doors opened as Tom hovered outside to face his creator. "It's ready, Joel! Check it out!" he exclaimed. "What's the program about?" Joel asked as he followed Tom through the Holocabana doors. "You'll see!" Tom replied as the doors shut behind them. * * * OUTSIDE ACME LOONIVERSITY..... "What's that?" Lola said a lil worried, and the ground kept shaking, each time a STOMP sound was heard, they went out of the gym, and saw that something was breaking havoc in the city. "Aw damn!" Oscar thought. "It better not be what i think it is", Lola then followed Oscar, as he ran down to the havoc site. Oscar pouted as he saw what he feared it'd be. Godzilla glared down at the little hermaphrodite and roared. The volume smashed all the windows of the Looniversity and Oscar was thrown backwards to smash hard against the brick wall. BBAAAAAM!!!" "GO GODZILLA GO! GO GODZILLA GO!" The toons chanted. Oscar painfully peeled himself off the wall and tried to summon a Kame-Hame-Ha, only to find his powers had completely vanished. He then ran towards Lola and Fifi who stood by the sidelines. "Duh, please help me! i can't fight him alone!" Lola seemed to consider him for a moment. "Kneel down and beg me." she finally replied. Oscar immediately fell to his knees and clasped his hands together. "PLASE!!! I'M BEGGING U! HELP ME!!!" "What was that? Plase? I'm not familiar with that word...." Lola replied, giggling lightly. Oscar jaw-dropped. Then he turned to face Fifi. "Feef, plase! i need a lil. help cuz i got no powers left!!! Without them, I'm frogned!" "Hmmm....ze are really in a jam, no?" Fifi hummed. "YES!!! My powers are gone! I can't even play b.ball anymore!" Oscar whimpered. "Well, Oscie, I'm afraid I don't love you anymore...." "WHAT?!? But I tough we were lovers cuz we F. with excitation...." "And what about me, Oscar?" Oscar froze with terror. Then he slowly turned to see Artemis standing behind him looking *VERY* angry. "What's the matter, OSCIE...." Artemis hissed, her hands on her hips. "You need a couple of fierce street dogs to *putted* you out of your misery?" "Uh....er....um...." Oscar stammered nervously, eyeing the girl in front of him with great fear. "Oh well....It doesn't make any *dif.* There's no dogs around here, although there are some rats that would like to talk to you...." "AHHHHHHHH!!!" Oscar screamed as Roderick and his slaves came out of nowhere and descended upon him. Then Elmer Fudd rushed into the fray, the sound of a double-barreled shotgun being discharged over and over. Soon a long line had quickly formed in front of the carnage, filled with toons wishing to extract their revenge. At the front of the line was Bugs Bunny, who calmly ate a carrot while tightening his fist around a pair of brass knuckles.... * * * SEVERAL DAYS LATER.... Pinky let out a yawn. "I'm tired, Brain. Let's call it a night." The Brain nodded. "Very well, Pinky. We've unleashed as much whoop-ass on Oscar as possible for a pair of three inch lab mice. But come the morning, We must start preparing for tomorrow night!" "Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?" Pinky asked. "The same thing we do every night, Pinky....TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" As the two mice scampered off to the closing chords of their theme music, Lola, Fifi and Artemis walked over to the crumpled, bruised, and thoroughly pulverized figure of Oscar. Then they looked up at Godzilla, who had been waiting patiently all this time. "Okay, Godzilla. Your turn." Lola called up to him. "Make ze French Fries out of heem!" Fifi shouted. "FINISH HIM...." Artemis whispered. Godzilla bowed to them and then let out a ear-splitting roar, which painfully brought Oscar back to consciousness. Oscar looked up and screamed as Godzilla reared his head back and unleashed his patented Blue Flame (C) by Toho, All Rights Reserved. Fifi and Lola held their noses as the smell of sizzling Oscar was in the air. Then Godzilla raised one of his feet and smashed it down on the flaming mass. The three girls cheered loudly as a chorus of Hallelujah suddenly boomed out of thin air. (This is Loony Tune Land, after all). Then Lola called up to the mutated lizard again. "Thanks for the help, big guy! Good luck in New York! If you see the cast of Seinfeld up there, give em some blue flame for me!" "Farewell Godzilla! Watch out for ze senshi in green!" Fifi added. "You have my gratitude and an invitation to my wedding!" Artemis called out happily. Godzilla nodded in their direction before stomping off towards the direction of the ocean. The trio of girls watched him go and then gave each other high fives before returning to the Looniversity to celebrate.... "End program, Magic Voice...." * * * THE HOLOCABANA "So, what do you think, Joel?" Tom asked. "Is our *alternate ending* everything it's cracked up to be?" Crow asked. Joel shook his head and smiled. "You guys should write revengefics for a living." "Ha! Give us a empty holocabana and we're Picasso!" Tom exclaimed with pride. "What do you think, sirs?" Crow asked. DEEP 13 "Will you please hold still, Frank!" Dr. Forrester growled as he picked up another piece of charcoal and scribbled on his paper. A few feet in front of him, Frank was lying on a casting couch, nude except for a strategically placed leaf. "I can't believe my therapist actually recommended this to me...." Dr. Forrester mumbled under his breath as he tried to concentrate on the inner beauty of his assistant and not on the fat naked slob that threatened to bring up his lunch with every passing moment.... Suddenly there was a snap as the charcoal broke off for what seemed like the thousandth time. Disgusted, Dr. Forrester threw the charcoal on the floor and stood up, stretching his tired muscles. "I think I'm going to call it a day, Frank...." "Okay, I'll push the button." Frank replied as he started to rise. "NO! I mean, just stay there and for god's sake, keep that leaf steady!" Dr. Forrester replied as he pushed the button. "Why, Dr. F, I do believe you're blushing...." "Shut up, Frank." THE REAL END.... (Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.) 16 MSTings....Wow. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that I've written that many episodes. It's a lot of hard work and late hours but it's something I honestly enjoy doing and I hope I can continue to bring you these works for a long time to come. :) I'd like to give very special thanks to Gary Kleppe, Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh, Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong, Jack Acid and the Flashman, who were all very helpful in giving me C&C and ideas for this MSTing. I couldn't have finished this MSTing without their help and I can't thank them enough. :) I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight), Michael K. Neylon, Demon Stalker, and Sakura for being nice enough to post my MSTings on their webpages. Another person I would like to give very special thanks to is Shizen, who was nice enough to dedicate a webpage for my MSTings. Shizen has his own IRC and Beseen.com chatrooms, along with several other features including a growing collection of Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon fanfics. My other fanfics as well as Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh's can be found in these collections and new submissions are very welcome. (Note: This webpage is down at the moment but a new link for it should be available in the near future.) I'd like to thank Theo Mintesnot for coming up with a love theme for this series by changing a few words. I changed a few myself but it was his idea and I appreciate it. :) Also, I'm very proud to announce that my MSTings won the following categories for the 1st Annual Silver Mally Awards and I'm very grateful to everyone who voted for them. If you're interested in the complete results, visit Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings. *BEST ANIME (Non-Sailor Moon) MSTING* "War" MSTed by Megane 6.7 (Runner up: "Ranma vs the Joker" MSTed by Kevin Pezzano) *BEST SAILOR MOON MSTING* (TIE) "Dimisional Trouble", MSTed by Tim McLees "Sailor Jupiter vs Godzilla", MSTed by Megane 6.7 *BEST NON-ANIME MSTING* "Moondusted", MSTed by Tim McLees, Megane 6.7 & Mark Sachs (Runner Up: "A Final Fantasy 7 Thanksgiving", MSTed by Jamie Jeans) *BEST MSTING OF A LEMON* "Artemis' Lover" MSTed by Megane 6.7 (Runner-Up: Virgin Warrior Sailor Moon, MSTed by Megane 6.7) *BRAVEST AUTHOR* Megane 6.7, the 1st TVAM MSTer, discovered Oscar. (Runner-Up: Don Euclid, for his work with the Sasami lemons) *BEST HOST SEGMENTS IN A MSTING* Megane 6.7 (Runner-Up: Tim McLees) *BEST RIFFS IN A MSTING* Megane 6.7 (Runner-up: Seth Triggs) My MSTings have also won and been nominated for the following awards.... *ARTEMIS'S LOVER* - Nominated for the Golden Hamdinger for "Best Host Segments" - Awarded the Balsa Waffle for "Worst Fanfic" - Awarded the Balsa Waffle for "Worst New Characters" *TRANSITIONS* - Nominated for the Golden Hamdinger for "Best Host Segments" Thank you very much. :) Finally I'd like to thank Oscar for writing "Oscar Toon" and giving me a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not too offended. It's all meant in good fun. If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I won't mind a bit. C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) Feel free to send in any anime fanfics that you would like to see MSTed and I'll take a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous episodes of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you. ;) Sincerely, Megane 6.7 P.S. My friend, Lunari, has just finished another SM story called "Child of Destiny" Like "Dying Fire" and "Justification is in Order" it is a excellent story and if you are interested in reading it, contact her at lunari@sprynet.com and I'm sure she'll be happy to send a copy to you. :) Also, Jack Acid has begun his own series of MSTings and is a very talented computer graphics artist. You can find some of his works in the art gallery at Tenchi's site and you can contact him at jack_acid@yahoo.com Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html (Celebrating it's one year anniversary, Tenchi's webpage is now bigger and better looking than ever! Check out the new features and enjoy the MSTings of an ever-growing number of talented authors.) Shizen's Versatile Homepage http://www.winnipeg.freenet.mb.ca/~cto427/index.html (Currently Down. A new link should be available soon.) Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics (Another author with a vast selection of terrific Ranma 1/2 fanfics and a great human being.) The Official Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong http://www.li.net/~jeffwong/index.htm (Author of the popular "Usagi's Usual Morning" and "The Least One Can Do" series. He is a great human being and has assisted me with several of my MSTings.) Flashman's Flash Point http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/ (Author of the popular series "Trio" and creator of the "Flash Point" MSTings. Can you say great human being? I thought you could. ;P ) Website Number 9 MSTings http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml (Huge collection of MSTings, Anime and Non-Anime.) A Sailor Moon Romance http://moonromance.simplenet.com/ (The source of some of my MSTings and updated weekly with new fics.) Jupiter Knight's Great Sailor Moon Fanfic Archive http://www.dragonfire.net/~JupiterKnight/fanfics.htm (A great source of Sailor Moon Fanfics.) Zen's Fanfiction Page http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html (One of the most controversial fanfic writers today and one of my favorites.) Webdragon's Lair http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/ (The author of many wonderful short stories and the occasional lemon.) Demon Stalker's Stories Archive http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/4937/index.html (A growing collection of fanfiction from a variety of animes) Sakura's Lemon Fan-Fiction Archive http://anime.muck.com/~sakura/main.html (Ever growing collection of Lemon Fanfiction from all walks of Anime.) The Shrine O' Oscar http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/Oscar.html (Home of all the Oscarfic MSTings and final respects paid to him....) SEASON ONE ------------------ 101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon) 102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon) 103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman (SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER) 104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic) 105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic) 107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton (La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover) 108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky (SM/WWF Crossover) w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover) 110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic) SEASON TWO ------------------- 201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon) 202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon) 203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM Fanfic) 204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic) 205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon) "Oscar...perhaps the only boy who isn't a complete jerk" Said Lola, alone in a bench looking at the moon, she thought if she'd find someone as him, "Oscar.."." Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics....