fcasper *TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO) EPISODE 11: THAT GIRL PT. 1 (A Sailor Moon Lemon MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. "That Girl" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) Warning: This fic contains mature content, both lemon and otherwise. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! THE SATELLITE OF LOVE 10:57 PM Hey everybody! Welcome to the Satellite of Love! I'm Joel Robinson and...wait a minute.... What's wrong Joel? Something wrong? Yeah, something's wrong! We're talking in script format and our names aren't even showing up! We're supposed to be in prose for the introduction. Maybe Megane 6.7 got sick of prose and decided to cut it short? He wouldn't do that, would he? Who's talking? I am. I'm not. That helps a whole lot. I'm Crow. I'm Tom. Okay, Tom? Yes? I'm Tom! Stop playing games, Crow! What are you talking about? I'm Tom! I AM TOM SERVO!!! NO, I AM TOM SERVO!!! (sounds of a scuffle emerge) Guys! Guys!! Oh, forget it! Cambot, can you come here for a moment? (brief silence) Okay, here's the problem. Cambot's lens burned out. Magic Voice, can you get me Gypsy in the Engine room? (sighs) Do I have to? What's wrong Magic Voice? It's just....You're much cuter this way, Joel.... Gee, I didn't know you felt that way, Magic.... You've never been a disembodied voice like me before, Joel.... Well, I'm flattered Magic, I really am, but the reader's just going to get confused if we all stay like this. MSTing will be harder too.... I guess you're right....(sighs) Don't be sad Magic, I'm still here with you, even if it's in a body, and I'm not going anywhere.... ....Thanks, Joel. It's nice to know that. I'll get Gypsy now.... Joel? Gypsy! Joel, what's going on? I can't see my name! I feel so one-dimensional.... HEY! I resemble that remark! Calm down, Magic. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it. Gypsy, Cambot's lens need to be changed. Could you get one from storage and bring it up here please? Affirmative, Joel! Be there in a jiffy! Great! (sounds of scuffling continue) Guys, can you give it a rest? Never! Not till the Fake Tom Servo goes down! You guys.... Being a voice isn't so bad Joel, we're all equal in each other's eyes....well, not exactly eyes, but you know what I mean.... I could sing while I wait I guess.... There you go! How about Row, Row, Row, Your Boat? Um....okay. Row, Row, Row, Your boat.... Gently Down The Stream.... Does anybody have any idea who's singing what? Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily.... Life Is But A Dream.... Come on Tom! You're next! How would the reader even know it's me, Magic Voice? Just sing! Bite me. I'm here, Joel! Gypsy! Thank goodness! Hand me that lens so I can fix Cambot! (sounds of a cracked lens being removed and a new one put into place) That should do it! Joel Robinson stepped back, as Cambot's lens began working again. "There we go! Good as new!" Joel exclaimed as he smiled at Gypsy. Then he noticed Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo standing nearby. "Nice to know I can count on your guys in an emergency...." Joel noted with sarcasm. "We're sorry...." They both chorused in unison. "Well, it was cool while it lasted...." Magic Voice said, her voice slightly tinged with disappointment. "Cheer up, Magic!" Joel replied. "We've got some new fan letters from our Xmas MSTing to read and...." Joel was interrupted by the flashing of the red light on the counter. "Whoops! Looks like it'll have to wait a while, Captain Caveman and Son are calling...." * * * DEEP 13 T.V.'s Frank's eyes slowly opened to gaze upon his mirror image.... "GREAT SCOTT!!" Frank exclaimed in shock. Dr. Clayton Forrester smiled. "So tell me, how does it feel?" "Weird...." Frank replied, his voice tinged with fear. "I....I think I need to sit down for a minute...maybe get a soda...." "Well, get used to the feeling because it's time to show you off to the Marx brothers and put the fear of evil in them!" Dr. Forrester said as he walked over to the console and brought up the image of the SOL bridge. "Greetings, Three Amigos! I trust you had a nice time over the holidays....had a lot of time to *Thinker* about the true meaning of Christmas I trust? Hehehe...." Dr. Forrester chuckled. The bots winced at the bad pun while Joel replied. "Just great, Dr. F. We got a lot of great stuff for Christmas!" A sweatdrop suddenly appeared on Frank's head as Dr. Forrester inquired. "Oh? Such as?" Joel seemed to catch himself at the last second and replied. "Oh, just some junk you wouldn't be interested in....nothing important." Dr. Forrester frowned for a moment but decided to let it pass. After all, they would be suffering soon enough and what suffering it would be! But first things first... "Well, Joel, I hope you enjoyed it because I'm going to make sure the year of 1998 is nothing but a living hell for you and your little friends too...." Dr. Forrester allowed himself a smirk. "And a Happy New Year to you too, sir. Do you mind if I present my invention now?" Joel replied in a bored tone of voice. "As a matter of fact, I do!" Dr. Forrester retorted. "And I suggest you pay close attention unless you want a shock to the shammies!" Joel twitched a bit at that but kept his cool as he waited patiently for his chance. "The average human body...." Dr. Forrester began. "So many organs....so many cells....so many bones....and yet ninety-eight percent of it is nothing more than water, just ordinary water....But now, with Frank's help and a transfusion, I've managed to replace every drop of Frank's body water with...." Dr. Forrester reached down by his feet and picked up a wooden jug with Japanese writing on it. Joel recognized it a moment later and gasped. "Is that....?" "Yes. Water from none other than Jusenkyou itself! Here's T.V's Frank-Chan! Frank-Chan came into view, his hair was now a bright cherry red and his hips were slimmed down considerably. His double-breasted suit almost succeeded in hiding the pair of firm curves that had blossomed and she cast her blue eyes shyly towards the floor as she took a long sip from his can of Coke.... "But why? Why didn't you just pour it over his head?" Tom asked, shocked. "Oh ppppuh-leeze!" Dr. Forrester exclaimed as he rolled his eyes. "What kind of a diabolical evildoer would I be if I cursed him the *normal* way?! It's a SCIENCE experiment, Joel! One I intend to repeat with Frank and every single one of the 144 available Jusenkyou curses...." Frank-Chan suddenly choked on her drink, coughing and sputtering. Dr. Forrester didn't even glance back as he continued. "Now, tell me Joel, what little knickknack have YOU been working on over the holidays?" "Okay, sir...." Joel reached into his breast pocket. He pulled out a small pill-sized capsule and placed it on the counter next to a steaming tea kettle and an empty coffee mug as he began his presentation.... "This is for the college student or worker who has to wake up early and can never get a descent cup of coffee, having to settle for mediocre at best and McDonalds at worst. I call it the Coffee Time Capsule." Joel poured some water from the kettle into the mug until it was nearly full, steam rising from it. Then he picked up the capsule. "This is a special chemically designed pill activated by hot water. You just twist it, let one half spill into the other, wait for a few seconds and then...." Joel dropped the pill into the coffee mug. Immediately the water began bubbling up a bit and the color changed from clear to dark brown and then quickly faded to a lighter brown as the bubbling ceased. Joel picked the cup of coffee and took a careful sip, then smiled as he put it back down. "In just ten seconds, this cup of hot water has been transformed into a perfect cup of coffee with just the right amount of milk, sugar and/or cider. The capsule can be created to meet any coffee specifications depending on your personal preferences and you'll never have to worry about spilled grinds or too little sugar or grimace at the taste ever again! What do you think, sir?" "Well, I think...." Dr. Forrester began. "HIC!" Dr. Forrester shot his assistance a look of irritation only to have it change to astonishment as Frank was once again a man. Then he hiccuped again and like magic, he had changed back into a she. "What's....HIC!...happening to me?!? HIC!" Frank-Chan asked, her voice filled with fear. "Hmmm....A most interesting and unexpected side effect...." Dr. Forrester replied as he watched, with great amusement, his assistant change genders with every hiccup. Then he turned back towards Joel, his eyes narrowing. "It's time for your first experiment of the year, Joel....and I've decided since we began last season with a lemon, we should do the same this year...." Joel and Tom groaned while Crow asked. "What kind of lemon is it?" "A Sailor Moon one...." Crow shrugged. "No big deal...." "One from an author you've MSTed before...." Crow went silent. Tom and Joel looked at each other for a long moment before slowly turning to face Dr. Forrester. "But we've only MSTed two lemons last season. One by Artemis and the other....the other...." "Was by Oscar a.k.a. Artemis's Lover. Yes, that's right. Would you like to guess which author I decided to let kick off the new year?" Dr. Forrester asked, his evil grin stretching from ear to ear. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The bots screamed. "Now, now, calm down!" Joel tried to reassure them while keeping his voice steady. "We proved to Dr. F that the last Oscarfic couldn't break our spirits, this one is no exception. Together, we can conquer anything!" "Y...Yeah! You're right, Joel!" Tom replied, gathering his courage. "W....We're not afraid of you, Dr. F!" Crow added, his voice shaky. "You will be....YOU WILL BE...." Dr. Forrester replied ominously as he whirled to face his gender morphing assistant. "Send them the Oscarfic, Frank.... "As....HIC!....you....HIC!....wish....HIC!" Frank-Chan replied miserably. * * * "I don't believe it, I don't believe it....!" Tom was babbling over and over. "We can't go through this again Joel! We just can't!" Crow wailed. "My head's gonna blow, My head's gonna blow...." Tom continued to babble. "Listen guys!" Joel places his arms around the bot's shoulders. "If Oscar tries to show us a bestiality scene again, we'll just close our eyes like before until it's over. Dr. F may force us to enter the theater week after week, but he can't watch us every second of the MSTing!" Crow sniffled. "M....Maybe you're right Joel, but it still sucks!" "I know it does, but we knew sooner or later this was going to happen again and we've done the best we can to prepare for it. So when those sirens go off, I want us to march into that theater, look Oscar straight in the eye and say...." Suddenly alarms and sirens suddenly rang out. "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT LEMON SIGN!!!" Joel cried out. (Door 6: It's a giant speaker. You plug a electric guitar into it, crank up the volume and strum it hard, causing it to explode.) (Door 5: It's made of Lego. You take it apart and build a dozen small objects with it before you continue.) (Door 4: It's a four layer door. The first goes into the ceiling while the other three retract rapidly in order of left, right, left.) (Door 3: It's made of solid rock. You cover it with a large sheet of paper and it vanishes.) (Door 2: It's a complex puzzle from RIVEN. You work on it for an hour then take the coward's way out and read the solution from the net....) (Door 1: It's a double door. Both swirl open from the center.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. Tom: I noticed some improvements during the door sequence, Joel.... Joel: Thanks! I thought it could use a touch up. Crow: What happened to the old door #4? The one that kept falling towards you, missing your foot by millimeters? Joel: Oh, I installed it in your closet. Crow: Oh, well that was nice of....Hey, wait a minute! >Sailormoon Z serie 1, episode 4 "That Girl" >By >Oscar "Artemis's Lover" Crow: Oh my god, it's part of a SERIES! Wahhhhhh!!!! Tom: (sobbing) Who knows when Dr. F will unleash the other parts on us!?! Joel: Think frosty, be frosty.... Crow: Notice how he uses that stinkburger of a fic in his name as if it were a badge of honor. Tom: Yes, in the tradition of Barry "You Deserve a Break Today" Manilow, and George "Last Stand" Custer, it's Oscar "Artemis's Lover"! Joel: Nicely done, guys! >Author notes: >It's been 1 year since the destruction of Kyomara. Crow: They committed mass genocide rather than let their city be used in another Oscarfic. Tom: In this case, seppuku is painless.... >Chris returned to Canada, he graduated and he's now in college. Joel: And counting his lucky stars for not being in this fanfic. >Oscar now is 14, and Serena, Rei, Mina and the others are now 15. Tom: Yes, the girls were still too young to realize that they didn't need to be in an Oscarfic to get recognition... Crow: (imitating Rei sobbing) We're young! We need the money! >it's a new school year and a new girl is on Oscar's classroom. Crow: Man, that's one big girl.... Joel: Most girls would've preferred to get IN the classroom, but... Tom: Oscar's Classroom! Coming this fall on Comedy Central! >And wouldn't you like to know who she is... All: HELL NO!!! >That Girl: Crow: Who's that girl? Tom: Even Madonna wouldn't do this fic. Joel: Marlo Thomas *IS* That Girl! >Well it's another school year, and you can bet that Oscar And Serena >aren't too happy for that. Crow: The readers sure ain't.... >At 8:40 pm. Oscar and Serena got to school IN TIME!!!. Joel: ....to notice the sun had already gone down. Crow: Since when does Serena go to night school? >Oscar's teacher, said "Ahem...class, class....CLAAASSSS!!!!" All: SSSSSSSSSSSSSHUT UP!!! (quiet voice) Thank you. >She yelled, cuz no one payed her attention. Tom: And because her students couldn't handle basic English grammar. Crow: Including the author.... >After that everyone shutted up, and looked at the angry tech. Crow: (imitating tech) How the hell am I supposed to check sound levels if you keeping shouting like that! >"Listen up! we have a new mutant, er, i mean student today, so i want you >to respect her ok?" The teacher said. Crow: Rogue? Tom: Storm? Joel: Sally Struthers? >"Her name is Felicia," She then looked at the door and said "Ok >come in Felicia". Felicia heared that and entered the classrom with her >school uniform. Crow: (imitating Felicia) Hey boys! I thought I'd get dressed here instead. I hope you don't mind.... Tom: Isn't a stripper supposed to take off her clothes AFTER she arrives? Joel: She's a reverse stripper! >Everyone had a scared look on their face, Crow: (imitating students sobbing) Oh g..g..god....How can we possibly study when we have to sit in a room with....with....OSCAR!!! Wahhhhhhh!!! >except Oscar who wasn't even paying attention to her, Felicia saw Oscar >and tought "Oh no.....not another crush, Joel: (imitating Felicia) I wanted a sprite! Tom: (imitating Felicia) I tought I taw a puddy tat! Crow: (Imitating Oscar) Really?! Where? Where!? >but he's sooo damned cute.....i can't let him go" Tom: Uh-huh. This is a self-insertion fic all right.... Crow: Maybe she's got a fetish for green wool and trash cans.... Joel: Wrong Oscar, Crow.... >She then standed in front of everyone Tom: Giving everyone a marvelous view of her front. Thank you! Joel: Tom.... >(Note: as many of you now, Felicia "From Darkstalkers" is a Monster, >a freak, Crow: If there was ever a case of someone calling the kettle black, it's this. Tom: (imitating Felicia) Oh, EXCUSE ME, I'm sure a fourteen year old hermaphrodite who has sex with a cat is perfectly normal.... >a catwoman, she can transform from a cat to a catwoman and viceversa >whenever she wants. Joel: She likes to screw with Batman's head that way.... Crow: Not to mention -- Joel: Crow! Crow: What? >She never dresses up, cuz the only thing that protects her nipples and >her pussy, is the remaining fur that has when in catwoman form, BUT >she has to use school uniform, that's the rule. Joel: So she DOES dress up. Tom: That rule never stopped Ranma, why let it stop Felicia? Crow: Not to mention Ms. Hinako. I'm so sure that tight yellow dress is acceptable in school....Then again, who'd complain? Joel: Felicia and Ranma in Cat Fist Mode. There's a fight I wouldn't mind seeing. Crow: Or a lemon.... Tom: Shh! Don't give Oscar any ideas! >She also keeps her kitty tail when in catwoman form. Crow: Where does she keep it? Joel: Crow.... Crow: Just curious.... >She has no parents, nor family. She was left in a church where she was >raised). The teacher then said "Well she's Felicia" Tom: And he's Oscar. Accept it. >Everybody still had the scared look on their face, Joel: I'll bet those students are wishing Godzilla would show up about now.... >"Now sit your butt over there!" Tom: Having Oscar in the class seems to have hardened the teacher.... Crow: (imitating teacher) Sit your butt over there, Felicia, before I find a better use for it.... Joel: Crow! >The teacher said seeing that Felicia had a better body than her, Joel: Stacked female students and the teachers who resent them! Next on Geraldo.... Tom: Felicia vs. Hinako. Only one can have the biggest! >Felicia looked angry at the teacher but didn't turned to her, she went to >desk behind Oscar!!!!. Crow: The desk that stored the school's supply of exclamation points!!!! Tom: Which, like the desk in front of him and to his sides, were empty for some strange reason.... > The day passed and Now it was 3:35 pm. just 35 mins. before they went >home. Crow: Uhhh....didn't Serena and Oscar arrive at 8:40 pm? Joel: Yeah, those 20 hour school days are murder.... Tom: No wonder the teacher's stressed out.... Crow: What about the students? 20 hours in the same room with Oscar?! Tom: The horror....the horror.... >Oscar was writing what the teacher was writing in the black board, Joel: I will not fall asleep.....I will not fall asleep....I will..... ZZZzzzzzzzz.... Crow: Oscar must be talented to interpret stuff *inside* a blackboard..... >But Felicia was too busy staring at Oscar, to pay attention to the teacher, >she eventually Wrote something on a sheet of paper, builded a paper plane >with it, and threw it to Oscar. Oscar felt something pointy hit his head, Tom: Not going to say it, not going to say it, I am NOT going to say it.... Crow: (imitating Oscar) Strange, that didn't feel like a raindrop.... >he grabbed the plane behind his head "Huh? what is this?" He asked >himself quietly. He oppened the plane and saw the message that said: Tom: Dear Oscar, this message will self-destruct in five seconds. Adios, sucker! Crow: Dear Oscar, I know about you and the cat. Unless you want to spend the next ten years in prison, smashing big rocks into little ones, you will meet me every night in my hotel room from now on and become my personal scratching post.... Joel: Dear Oscar, I'm your biggest fan and MISERY loves company.... >"Hiya Oscie! Behind you...". Oscar turned back, and saw Felicia, she >had a happy little face ^_^. Oscar smiled bewilderedly, and a tear drop >appeared in his head, Joel: Oscie? Wasn't that one of the Little Rascals? Crow and Tom: (singing) Raindrop keep falling in his head....but that doesn't mean he won't take Artemis into his bed.....La! La! La! La....La! >And blue around the nose. Joel: Uh, your mascara's running, Oscar.... >He turned his attention back to the tech. Crow: (imitating tech) Cheap &!#$ audio equipment! My grandmother's phonograph has more volume than these crap speakers.... >The bell rang as it was 4:10 pm. now, Everyone went hom, Tom: Now they can get 4 hours of sleep before they have to come back.... Crow: Man, I've heard Japanese schools were tough but wow.... Joel: (singing) Hom! Hom on the Rang! Where the Dee and the Antelop Pla....! Tom: (imitating Bugs Bunny) And the rabbi. >Oscar, Serena, Rei, Mina, Amy, and Lita were walking their way >home again (Like that's new). But Felicia was following them quietly, Joel: Oscar must be wearing his catnip scented cologne again.... >suddenly Artemis appeared and jumped on Oscar's Shoulder, Joel: Yep. Looks like it's working pretty well. >Oscar happily hugged Artemis, and puttted him in his shoulder. Luna >too was there but in Amy's shoulder, Tom: Yes, it's the new high school craze, hollow shoulders! Crow: Conveniently attached to an equally hollow....oh wait, this is Amy we're talking about, right? Joel: Yep. Nice try, though.... >They where talking about school stuff. Felicia then made her appareance, >she came up from behind and took Oscar's arm, as if they where engaged, Joel: At least she didn't glomp onto him like a certain other girl that changes into a cat.... Crow: Nuku Nuku? Tom: No, Shampoo! Nuku Nuku doesn't change into a cat, unless you count her pop up feline ears.... Joel: Sounds like a great idea for a children's toy. I can see it now....Pop up Nuku Nuku! Crow: I'd prefer a inflatable Nuku Nuku myself .... Joel: Crow.... >Oscar gulped hard, and had a scared look on his face. Artemis too had a >worried look on his face, Tom: (imitating Artemis) Uh oh, I just pissed on Oscar, I hope he doesn't notice.... Joel: (imitating Artemis) Dare I dream it....Could I finally be freed from my personal hell? Crow: (imitating Oscar) Uh oh....I gotta throw up. What do I say? What do I do? >While Serena and the others looked suspiciously at Oscar and Felicia. >Oscar weakly said "Wh-What are you doing?!" Felicia had Smiling look >on her face, Joel: If it's the Smiling Three Year Death, Oscar's in for a lot of pain.... Tom: We can only hope.... Crow: In a self-insertion fic? Not bloody likely.... >and responded "Don't you remember me? i'm the one who threw you >that plane" Crow: (imitating Tattoo) De plane, Oscar! De plane! >Oscar remembered and said "Oh yeah... Tom: (imitating Oscar slapping his forehead) How could I forget you? You're the freak, right? >Well what do you want?" He said as he looked Felicia rubbing her >head to his arm. "Just want to be close to you...giggle" Said Felicia, >realizing that she wanted to catch him. Crow: She's better off catching the Ebola virus.... Tom: Yes, you too can have girls crawling all over you if you write a self-insertion story! Joel: She's playing cat and mouse with him. Crow: (groans) I was waiting for that one.... >Oscar looked at Artemis, and tought "Oops! What should i do?" Tom: Never write another fanfic as long as you live!!! >Artemis had a strange look on his face as he looked at Oscar, >and tought "Hmmm this girl, There's something strange about her" Crow: Yeah, she's not repulsed at the sight of Oscar. Joel: Just a guess here, but having a tail sticking out from under her skirt *might* seem strange ... Tom: You really don't want me to say anything about that, do you Joel? Joel: (Groaning) Tom ... >Everyone was teasing Oscar about him, as Felicia wouldn't let go him. All: (singing) Felicia! No, she will not let you go! LET HIM GO! Felicia! No, she will not let you go! LET HIM GO.... >They eventually Got home: Lita to hers, AMy and the others too. Joel: (imitating Serena) Hey! I'm the star of this series, why am I just one of the others?! Wahhhh!!! Tom: Ah, all of them went for a *Weekend at Lita's*.... Joel: Tom ... Tom: What? That sentence WAS vague, wasn't it? Joel: .... >And finally only Oscar, Artemis & Felicia where alone in the sidewalk, Crow: (imitating Oscar) I knew that wet cement sign was there for a reason.... >Oscar got home and said to Felicia "Ummm Felicia, here's where i live, ok?" Tom: It's not much, but the cardboard really helps keep the wind out. Crow: And he buys fresh newspapers once a week! >Felicia then said "Ok" But didn't let go off Oscar's arm. "Would you be >kind enough to let go my arm?" Oscar said trying to shake her off, But >Felicia got off Oscar's arm before he shook her. "Well bye!!" Oscar said >as he went to his front door, "W-Wait! aren't you gonna invite me in?" >Felicia said as she followed Oscar to the front door, Crow: (imitating Felicia) I need to use the litter box! Joel: Crow.... >"Uh-Uhm no, it's too messy in there" Tom: (imitating Oscar) You see, I don't have a litter box so.... Joel: Tom.... >Felicia smiled and said "Well ok! i now men aren't too clean...C'ya!" She >left. Crow: She turned into a bunch of dirty old men? Joel: Oh no! She's morphed into Happosai and Rei's Grandfather! >Oscar let out a sigh, as he entered the house "Phew, thank god she's gone" >aid Oscar Tom: That cat girl stunk to high heaven! Crow: Yeah, she smelled like puss.... Joel: Crow.... >as he leaved his backpack in the couch, Joel: Oscar was an expert in the art of camouflage.... >"Who was she?" Artemis asked him "Oh it's a new girl who is in my same >class" Oscar responded. "Seems something else to me" Said Artemis >looking at him with an evil smile, Tom: (imitating Artemis) A chance for me to bolt and go back to Mina! >"C'mon Artemis, little kitty cat, you know i care for you more, than >anything else" Said Oscar as he hugged Artemis softly. Crow: Oscar may be the first person in history to turn down a cat woman for a cat. >"Allright" Artemis said smiling. Tom: (imitating Artemis) I'll just have to kill you then. >The afternoon passed, as Oscar made his boring homework, Artemis >ate, and Played N64. At night Oscar took a light shower, and when he >dryed himself. Tom: Oh yes, Spare us none of these exciting details, Oscar.... Joel: Don't take us there....please. >Artemis was on the bed all stretched out, Oscar was only in his undies, Crow: NO! NO! NO! NOT AGAIN!!! Tom: (sobbing) I DON'T WANT TO LEARN THE CAT FIST AGAIN!!! Joel: Quick! Shut your eyes! I'll tell you when it's over! Crow: You're a brave man Joel.... Tom: We've never forget your brave sacrifice.... (Tom and Crow shut their eyes tightly) >Artemis saw this and went wide eyed. Oscar closed all the windows, and >locked the door, lighting only a few candles for light, he turned the elec. >lights of, and went in the bed with Artemis, caressing his fur....... Joel: Thank goodness that's all he's caressing.... >The next day, Oscar woke up, Joel: Hey guys! You can open your eyes! He didn't go into graphic detail this time! (The bots open their eyes and sigh in relief) Crow: Thank god.... Tom: (sniffles) Maybe this won't be so bad after all.... Crow: The fic ain't over yet, Tom.... >and looked at the clock "AAAAHHHHH!!! I'M GONNA BE LATE!!!" He >gasped and quickly putted on his undies, Joel: Funny place for a golf course.... Crow: (imitating Serena) Hey! That's *MY* morning shtick! STOP STEALING MY CHARACTER TRAITS! WAHHHHH!!!! >and his school uniform, and Runned to school. Artemis was a little too >exhausted from last night, to notice Oscar's leave. Tom: ....of his senses. Crow: (imitating Artemis) Heh heh heh, the poison should kick in about noon and then I can go back to seeing Mina in *her* undies! Joel: Crow.... > Oscar was running like hell, When he turned around the corner he saw >Felicia standing there, waiting for him. Tom: (imitating Felicia) Hey Oscie! Great impression of Serena there! >"Oh great!!!" He runned passed Felicia, but she Chased him "OSCAR!! >WAIT UP!" Felicia said as she runned after him, Joel: Is it my imagination or this starting to sound like a Urusei Yatsura fanfic? Crow: Well, you got Felicia playing Lum, Oscar as Ataru and his relationship with Artemis, minus the sickening sex, could be compared with Ataru's past relationship with Shinobu....uh oh! Tom: Somebody call Henry J. Cobb, quick! >Oscar turned his head back and said "Hurry up or we're gonna be late for >school!!!". They ebentually caught up with (Yes you guessed) Joel: Death? Crow: I wish.... >Serena and Lita who, where late for school too. Serena noticed Oscar >and said to Lita "Oh look! Tom: (imitating Serena) There's the creep that's stealing my character! Crow: (imitating Lita) Is this a revengefic? Can we get him back? Tom: (imitating Serena) No.....but I know how we could get one! Hey, all you authors out there! First one to write a revengefic for us, gets Lita in bed for one night! No restrictions! Crow: (imitating Lita) HEY! Joel: Guys.... >Lita there's Oscar, guess we're not the only ones!!he he" Lta turned >back to see Oscar and said "Yeah". Joel: (imitating Lita) God, I wish this was a Flashman fic..... >Felicia managed to catch up with Oscar and the others. They got to >school like 20 mins. late!!. Crow: Meaning they arrived at 9:00 pm on the dot. >Oscar and Felicia's teacher said "WHY ARE YOU SOO LATE!!!! GET >THE HELL OUTTA HERE AND INTO THE HALLWAY!" Joel: Geez, switch to decaf! Crow: Those English teachers really have a way with words.... Tom: (imitating teacher) AND DON'T FORGET THE BUCKETS OF WATER!!! Crow: You'd think the teacher would be happy to spend less time with Felicia, considering how jealous she's supposed to be.... > Everyone looked at those two, and laughed saying "Guess you 2 were >doing it, till morning! ha ha ha!!". Crow: 4 sure, dude! Tom: Oscar and Felicia, 2 gether, 4 ever! Joel: First time those students have laughed since the beginning of the term.... >Oscar and Felicia where outside, Tom: In the trees with Waldo? How the hell should we know?!? >with Serena and Lita who where punished as well. Crow: (imitating Serena) Hey! I do the punishing around here! Lita, on behalf of the moon, bend over! Joel: Crow.... >Lita broke the silence, by asking Serena "Well Serena i guess you got late >cuz you overslept didn't ya?" Serena looked a little angry at Lita >"Yes....That's my problem....and you?!" Lita then Had a scared look on her >face "Well i um, I too overslept he he he" Tom: (imitating Lita) Mina was lonely without Artemis so I came over to cheer her up and....well....things got a little wild after that.... >Serena smiled evilly at her. Crow: (imitating Serena) Heh heh heh....I usually see her with Rei on weekends....Now that Artemis is out of the picture, she's ours to dominate and.... Joel: Crow.... >Serena then looked at Oscar and asked "And how about you Oscar? it's >weird to see you get late to school" Oscar blushed and said "Ummm, >something happened yesterday and i slept at 1:30 am." Tom: But he was in class then, wasn't he? >Serena and Lita gasped, as they both said "EHHHH???" Joel: Check it out, they're doing an impression of Canadians.... Crow: (imitating Canadian) And they call us slow, eh? >Oscar's head was down, in depression. Tom: Shouldn't that be the dumps? Joel: Nitpick, nitpick, nitpick.... >Lita then asked Felicia "And you? Felicia smiled and said "I was waiting >for Oscar" She then winked to Oscar, who when he saw this, smiled fakely. >Felicia got closer to Oscar, As he now was blushing. Tom: Exactly how close is she? Joel: I don't think we want to know.... Crow: Okay, everybody got it? The guy's name is *OSCAR* O...S..C..A..R. Don't let it slip your mind now.... >Then in recess, Oscar, Serena, Amy, Lita, and Felicia Where sittening in a >table, Tom: Since when does high school have a recess!?! Joel: Having fallen from the sky, they plunged through the center of the wooden table and were now trapped, their arms pinned at their sides. Crow: TOGGG!!! >where They ate, and at the same time chatting. Joel: *** Sailor Moon changes topic to "What's up with the Hermaphrodite today?" Crow: * Sailor Mercury thinks Felicia is seriously messed up to be attracted to Oscar.... Joel: I miss Artemis....Why did he have to go.... :( Tom: Come on, cheer up! Serena and I take GOOD care of you, don't we? ;) Crow: I'll come over again after school....if you'd like. ;) *** Oscar has joined #Senshi Tom: What are you guys talking about? Joel: Beat it, weirdo! *** Oscar was kicked by Serena (Sailor Moon) Crow: Woohoo! Two Points! :) >Oscar was eating some kind of sourdough sandwich, Lita with her >homecooking, And Serena with her mom's cooking, Amy well >she made her own lunch, Tom: Not to mention her own gravy.... Joel: Tom.... >and Felicia with some kind of meatballs. Felicia was at the right side >of Oscar, looking at him, Oscar tryed to ignore her, but Felicia was to >close to him. Amy noticed Felicia Crow: (imitating Amy) AHHHH!!! There's a half naked cat woman sitting with us!!! Joel: Maybe her shoulders aren't the only hollow thing after all.... >and asked "Hey what's your name?" Tom: The teacher announced it like 3 times! Pay attention! Crow: Amy's slacking off in school? The world must be coming to an end.... >Felicia responded "Felicia" Amy looked at her body, and noticed her >tail Tom: And a mighty fine tail it is! Round, firm and fully packed! Joel: Tom.... Crow: (imitating Amy) I hope you don't mind me looking over your ASSETS.... Joel: Oh, boy..... >"You're not a normal girl are you?" Crow: She's interested in Oscar and you ask if she's NORMAL!?!? Tom: Has Amy been taking stupid pills or what? Joel: Maybe it's one of those alternate universes where Amy is a ditz and Serena is the smart one? >"Normal girls have better taste than you!" Felicia responded a little >angry Joel: (imitating Amy) Speak for yourself, honey.... Tom: (imitating Amy) Hey, I might turn into a magical superheroine in a tight skimpy outfit, attack people with little bubbles, and occasionally spend the night in a randomly chosen bedroom, but at least *MY* dates don't get a hard on while watching GARFIELD!!! Crow: (clapping) That's telling her, Amy! >"Yes i'm not a normal girl....so what?" Amy backed up and with a >scared look on her face, said "Ok Ok! !" Joel: (imitating Amy) Damn! I forgot I'm the weakest of the Senshi when it comes to hand to hand combat.... >Felicia then turned her attention back to Oscar. The day went on and at >4:10 pm. they all went out. Crow: Either the 20 hour school day went by like that or that was the longest recess in the history of education.... Tom: Imagine if the teachers were on strike? They'd never get home! >Again Oscar, Artemis, Amy, Luna, Serena, Rei, Mina, Lita, Crow: ....Jacob, Shapiro, Myers, Dewey, Cheatem and Howe. >And Felicia Where walking home, But now, they all went into a cafe >before they returned home, everyone sat in a table, All: TOGGG!!! Crow: By the way, Oscar, if you're going to use the North American names for the Senshi, you might consider changing Rei's name to Raye.... Tom: And you might want to consider paragraphs so the readers can follow the story better.... Joel: Good observations, guys! See? You guys CAN deliver C&C without having to be sarcastic.... Crow: Oh, bite me! Tom: Get bent! Joel: (sighs) It was nice while it lasted.... >ordered something to drink and, they talked. Joel: So what is the legal drinking age in Japan anyway? Tom: (Imitating Lita) Let's see, the blondes will have Blow Jobs, Rei and I will go with Screwdrivers, Amy'll have a Sex on the Beach, the Catwoman and the Herm. will do okay with some Fuzzy Navels.... Joel: .... >Felicia kept getting nearer to Oscar, as he now was shivering, Tom: ....with anticipation? Crow: ....with the cold? Joel: ....his timbers? >and Artemis had a curious look on hi face. Felicia then with her BIG >paw, touched Oscar's leg as it went north. Joel: (singing) Who's that girl with the BIG Paw? Crow: (singing) BIG paw! Tom: (singing) BIG paw! Joel: Wasn't there a Pound Puppies movie named after that? >Bur before it reached his 2 genital parts, he desperately got off the table, >grabbed his back pack and runned off like hell. Joel: Wow, Oscar makes Forrest Gump look out of shape.... Tom: Run Oscar! Run! Run right out of the fanfic! Crow: Better yet, just run *OUT* of fanfic.... >Felicia was about to follow him when Mina stopped her "Felicia!" She >said. Felicia stopped and sat again "What is it?" Felicia asked, >"What is your business with Oscar?" Mina asked. Joel: Monkeys and lots of them! Tom: (imitating Felicia) Don't you know curiosity killed the cat? >Felicia with a happy face responded "Ohh can't you see it? he's soooo >charming!" Crow: Oscar *IS* the author formally known as Prince! >Mina and the others closed their eyes and had big tear drops on their heads. Joel: (Imitating girls) It's ... so ... (sniff) ... emotional ... Crow: That should be sweat drops, I think. Tom: Either that or they're having a bad hair day. Joel: Tear ducts in the head. Cool. >Rei then told Felicia "Felicia......you love him?" Felicia still looked >happy and said "Yes i love him!!" Joel: (imitating Felicia) And where he goes, I'll follow! Tom: Yeah, it's so easy to fall in love after 36 hours. Joel: Hey, just look at Romeo and Juliet.... Crow: Let's hope this romance ends the way theirs did.... Joel: Crow.... >Rei looked a little worried "Then you should know...that he's already taken", >Felicia exalted as she heared this Tom: (Imitating Felicia singing) Glo-o-o-o-ria! Crow: (singing) They're coming to take him away, ha! ha! >"Wh-Whaaatt....??" All: SHE SAID THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW....THAT HE'S ALREADY TAKEN!!! >Rei then said "I'm sorry....but it's true he's already taken" Felicia then >looked down, and with a Weakly sad voice, said "Sob... Tom: Boy, you can just feel the emotion here, huh? Joel: (imitating Rei) Just who are YOU calling an SOB? >Then who is this woman...?" Rei patted Felicia's shoulder "Well >actually, it's not a human" Crow: (imitating Rei) But then neither is Oscar....or you for that matter. >Felicia looked at her and said "What do you mean?" Rei weakly said "He's >in love with his guardian cat....Artemis" Felicia went wide eyed "WHAT!! Crow: Forget it. We already used that joke once. Tom: Even if Oscar and Artemis are together, isn't Artemis technically still Mina's guardian? >that cat that he's always in his shoulder?....How can it be?!" Rei shrugged >"That cat is not a normal cat.....he can talk" Tom: And as we all know, *only* talking cats are irresistibly attracted to 14 year old hermaphrodites.... Crow: Beautiful talking catwomen aren't good enough for him. He wants 100% pussy.... Joel: Crow! >Felicia took Rei's left hand tightly "H-He can talk? you're lying!" >Rei looked at Luna, she putted her on the table, Joel: Ah! She's a golfer too! Crow: I can imagine the Senshi have wanted to putt Luna a few times, what with that stupid accent she has.... >"This is the 2nd cat that can talk...her name is Luna" Felicia looked >at The little black cat "How can a cat talk?" Crow: (imitating Luna) How can a woman have fur and a tail? >Luna then said "Well it's no big deal you know" Felicia gasped as she >heared that "Yo-You just talked!" Joel: Duh! They told her that a second ago! Tom: (Imitating Luna) About time I had some lines! I was the first talking feline on this show, and I demand recognition! >Rei grined "See? so if she can talk, then so can Artemis" Felicia turned >her attention to Rei "But how can he be in love with a cat?!" Tom: (imitating Luna) How can YOU be in love with Ocsar?! Joel: Some mysteries were never meant to be explained.... >Rei shrugged "Words cannot explain the the relation those 2 have... Tom: Words cannot even explain Oscar.... >i'm sorry" Felicia stood up, and ran away, almost crying "Felicia where >are you going!!??" Yelled Mina from the door. Crow: What would you do if you found out the guy you're interested in was into bestiality? Joel: In Felicia's case, wouldn't it give her hope? Crow: Good point. >Felicia was crying, not noisily, but she felt terrible knowing that the only >guy who could have actually get along with, was already taken, and with >a cat. Joel: What kind of society do we live in when beautiful cat women can't experience true love with Oscar? Tom: (imitating Ryouga) The world is a dark and lonely place.... >Oscar was in his house playing Dukenukem 3d 64, with Artemis. Tom: Nintendo 64....The preferred choice of hermaphrodites and their feline lovers. Joel: Considering what Oscar's into, shouldn't he be playing Duke *Nuku Nuku* 3-D? Crow: Hey, that's not a bad idea for a holocabana program.... >Artemis played pretty damn good for being a cat, also considering the >size of the N64 controller and the size of his paws, The score was 35-20 >Artemis's Favor. Oscar couldn't beleive that his Boyfriend was beating >him in the game that supposely he was the master of masters!. Joel: Oh, don't be so modest now, Oscar.... Crow: I get the feeling a lot of people are going to take exception to that.... Tom: (imitating the Joker) You ever Deathmatch with the Devil in the Pale Moonlight? >Artemis finally founded Oscar in the game, and he had the Bazooka, >Oscar went wide-eyed as Artemis pushed the Fire button and blasted >Oscar into itty bitty pieces, Crow and Tom: WOO HOO!!! OSCAR'S FINISHED!!! Joel: He only died in the game, guys.... >THE END. Joel: Huh? Tom: You're....You're kidding me?!? Crow: I....I can't believe it!?! Oscar's really gone?! Tom: YES!!! THERE IS A GOD AFTER ALL!!! Joel: I don't get it....why would Oscar end the fic so abruptly? Tom: Who cares?! Let's get out of here and celebrate! Crow: WOO HOO!!! * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE "NA NA NA NA.....NA NA NA NA....HEY HEY HEY....GOODBYE!!!" Joel sat at the counter watching Crow, Tom, Gypsy and Cambot form a conga line as they celebrated the demise of Oscar. Even Magic Voice was singing along with the bots, making for great harmony with Tom voice. While Joel was tempted to join them in the festivities, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was all too neat and pat. Cambot noticed that Joel wasn't dancing and panned his head over in his direction and zoomed in for a close-up. Joel noticed him a moment later and smiled at him. "I dunno, Cambot." Joel sighed. "Maybe I'm being paranoid but it just seems weird that Oscar would kill himself off, especially in a self-insertion fanfic. Nothing was resolved and no explanation was given. I know it's an Oscarfic and all, but...." Suddenly, the red light began flashing on the counter. "Maybe Dr. F can explain what's going on...." Joel said as he reached over to tap the light. Dr. Forrester's image appeared on the screen a moment later. "Hello, Joel. I trust you enjoyed today's experiment." Dr. Forrester inquired, almost pleasantly. "Uh, well the fic was pretty bad but it wasn't quite as bad as we were expecting...." Joel replied cautiously. Dr. Forrester chuckled. "I take it, you're referring to the rather abrupt ending?" "Well, yeah....I mean, I'm not a fan of Oscar's work or anything but why would he end it like that, with Felicia's plotline still in the air? And there was hardly any lemon at all....It just doesn't add up...." Joel replied with a puzzled look on his face. Dr. Forrester shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe Oscar just ran out of ideas?" The evil smile returned to his face as he continued. "Either way, detective, I'd celebrate with your friends while you still can, because I promise you that the next fanfic is going to hurt even more when I send it. But until then, pleasant dreams, lab rats...." Dr. Forrester winked as the screen went dark. Joel stared at it for a moment, somehow feeling less than satisfied with Dr. Forrester's explanation. Then he felt something nudging him and he looked over to see Gypsy. "Is everything all right, Joel?" Gypsy asked, a note of concern in her voice. Joel considered sharing his suspicions with her but he didn't want to be any more of a party pooper so he forced a smile as he replied. "I'm okay, Gypsy!" He empathized his point by holding on to Gyspy's waist and starting a new conga line. Tom and Crow, previously lost in bliss, quickly realized they were the only two people left in the old conga line and quickly got behind Joel. Soon the singing could be heard in all parts of the satellite as the celebration went into full swing, unknown to them that the viewscreen has suddenly flickered to life once more.... * * * DEEP 13 Dr. Forrester stood in front of the console, his hands clasped behind his back in a relaxed manner. Nearby, T.V.'s Frank-Chan had an odd expression on her face as she paced the room, as if searching for something. Then Dr. Forrester turned to face her, his eyes were almost blazing with their evil intent. "All right. I think we've let them celebrate enough...." Frank-Chan continued to pace the room more frantically, her demeanor growing more hurried and nervous by the moment. Dr. Forrester's eyes burned into the back of her neck as he shouted. "Frank! I said it's time!" Frank looked away from him, her shoulders were trembling and she appeared to be sobbing. Dr. Forrester had had more than enough of this nonsense and angrily stalked towards his assistant. He savagely grabbed Frank-Chan's arm and twisted him around. "FRANK, I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T....!!! "ACHOO!!!" Frank-Chan exploded as she sneezed all over Dr. Forrester. The room went deathly silent. Neither person moved an inch as Frank, now a male again, watched the snot slowly travel down Dr. F's face and drip down his lime green lab coat. The trickles continued downwards until it reached the chest where a pair of newly formed breasts now rested. Frank broke the silence by wiping his nose on his sleeve and then, after taking a deep breath, forced himself to look into Dr. Forrester's eyes, about to apologize profusely.... Frank's words were caught in his throat as he noticed Dr. F's beautiful blue eyes, were glowing with rage. Frank would have sworn that Dr. F was exposed to Mako energy had he not known what had happened. Then Frank noticed a mallet in Dr. Forrester-Chan's hand. "FFFFFRANK....!" A deadly feminine voice whispered. "Uh, sorry?" Frank squeaked lamely. "NNNNNOOOO....!!" the whisper continued. "The fanfic, Dr. F! What about the fanfic!" Frank yelped, gesturing frantically at the console.... TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2..... (Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.) Thus ends the first part of my Oscarfic MSTing. Heh heh heh.....Don't you just hate cliffhangers? Me too, that's why I made sure the second part was available along with this one, to be read at your discretion. There's lots more to come in the second part so don't skip it or you'll only be missing out on some great riffs. ;) I'd like to give very special thanks to Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong, Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh, and Gary Kleppe who were all very helpful in giving me C&C and ideas for this MSTing. I couldn't have finished this MSTing in a week's time without their help and I can't thank them enough. :) I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight), Michael K. Neylon and Sakura for being nice enough to post my MSTings on their webpages. If there's anyone else I missed, I apologize. Finally I'd like to thank Oscar for writing "That Girl" and giving me a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not too offended. If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I won't mind a bit. C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) Feel free to send in any anime fanfics that you would like to see MSTed and I'll take a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous episodes of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you. ;) Sincerely, Megane 6.7 P.S. If you haven't had a chance yet, my friend Lunari has just released a SM fic titled "Dying Fire" featuring Lita. It is a wonderful story and if you are interested in reading it, contact her at lunari@sprynet.com and I'm sure she'll be happy to send a copy to you. :) Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html (Celebrating it's one year anniversary, Tenchi's webpage is now bigger and better looking than ever! Check out the new features and enjoy the MSTings of an ever-growing number of talented authors.) Shizen's Versatile Homepage http://www.winnipeg.freenet.mb.ca/~cto427/index.html (Shizen was nice enough to dedicate a webpage to me for my MSTings and it also contains a link to my other stories and the stories of Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh, who's assisted me with my MSTings.) The Official Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong http://www.li.net/~jeffwong/index.htm (Author of the popular "Usagi's Usual Morning" and "The Least One Can Do" series. He is a great human being and has assisted me with several of my MSTings.) Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics (Another author with a vast selection of terrific Ranma 1/2 fanfics and a great human being.) Website Number 9 MSTings http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml (Huge collection of MSTings, Anime and Non-Anime.) A Sailor Moon Romance http://moonromance.simplenet.com/ (The source of some of my MSTings and updated weekly with new fics.) Jupiter Knight's Great Sailor Moon Fanfic Archive http://www.dragonfire.net/~JupiterKnight/fanfics.htm (A great source of Sailor Moon Fanfics.) Zen's Fanfiction Page http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html (One of the most controversial fanfic writers today and one of my favorites.) Webdragon's Lair http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/ (The author of many wonderful short stories and the occasional lemon.) Sakura's Lemon Fan-Fiction Archive http://anime.muck.com/~sakura/main.html (Ever growing collection of Lemon Fanfiction from all walks of Anime.) The Shrine O' Oscar http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/Oscar.html (Home of all the Oscarfic MSTings and final respects paid to him....) SEASON ONE ------------------ 101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon) 102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon) 103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman (SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER) 104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic) 105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic) 107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton (La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover) 108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky (SM/WWF Crossover) w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover) 110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic) "The score was 35-20 Artemis's Favor. Oscar couldn't beleive that his Boyfriend was beating him in the game that supposely he was the master of masters!." Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics.... *TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO) EPISODE 11: THAT GIRL PT. 2 (A Sailor Moon Lemon MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. "That Girl" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) Warning: This fic contains mature content, both lemon and otherwise. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! LAST TIME ON MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7.... "Good thing I decided to move this before we started to fight." Ryouga remarked as he opened it and ruffled through it. Then he carefully pulled a plastic jar filled with water out of his backpack. Checking the hand printed label, he confirmed it was the right one and then slowly walked over to the prone form of Ranma, his face expressionless as he began to unscrew the top. "Consider this my gift to you, Ranma." Ryouga finished unscrewing the top, looked around him to make sure he was not being watched and then he poured the entire jar over Ranma-Chan's body, then stepped back and waited for the change to occur.... WHOOPS....HEH....WRONG RECAP....SORRY. LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN.... DEEP 13 "FRANK, I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T....!!! "ACHOO!!!" Frank-Chan exploded as she sneezed all over Dr. Forrester. The room went deathly silent. Neither person moved an inch as Frank, now a male again, watched the snot slowly travel down Dr. F's face and drip down his lime green lab coat. The trickles continued downwards until it reached the chest where a pair of newly formed breasts now rested. Frank broke the silence by wiping his nose on his sleeve and then, after taking a deep breath, forced himself to look into Dr. Forrester's eyes, about to apologize profusely.... Frank's words were caught in his throat as he noticed Dr. F's beautiful blue eyes, were glowing with rage. Frank would have sworn that Dr. F was exposed to Mako energy had he not known what had happened. Then Frank noticed a mallet in Dr. Forrester-Chan's hand. "FFFFFRANK....!" A deadly feminine voice whispered. "Uh, sorry?" Frank squeaked lamely. "NNNNNOOOO....!!" the whisper continued. "The fanfic, Dr. F! What about the fanfic!" Frank yelped, gesturing frantically at the console.... AND NOW THE CONTINUATION.... "BBBBBBBBAKA!!!!!!" She screamed as she unloaded the mallet on Frank's head. She did more several times until it broke off from repeated impacts, the head not the mallet. Then she kicked Frank's head across the room to impact hard against the wall. The head wobbled from side to side for a moment and then the head inquired. "Feel better now, Dr. F?" Dr. Forrester-Chan turned her head towards the screen, ran her fingers through her cherry red locks and turned back to Frank. "Much." she replied. "Anyway, as I was saying, I think it's time to unleash the rest of Oscar's fanfic on our unwitting heroes. I figure the sudden realization should dampen their spirits considerably and then when the lemon scene arrives....OH HO HO HO HO HO HO!!!" Dr. Forrester-Chan's laughter echoed throughout the room. Frank's headless body shuddered. "They'll rue the day they messed with you, Dr. F!" Frank replied in his best suck-up tone of voice. "They already are, Frank....heh heh heh....they already are. Send them the second part, Frank...." "Uh...." Frank began. Dr. Forrester-Chan giggled. "Silly me! I forget about your little predicament there." "Then you'll put me back together again?" Frank replied hopefully. "Not till I get all that Jusenkyou water out of you, Frank! Thank your lucky stars I have some Nannichuan water to cure myself or all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't save you from my wrath!" Dr. Forrester-Chan replied sweetly as she went over to the console to send part two of "That Girl" to the theater. That done, she glanced down at her breasts and shrugged. "I don't see why Ranma makes such a big deal out of these...." * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE The conga line had progressed to a combination of a bunny hop and a limbo under Gypsy when alarms and sirens suddenly rang out. "WHAT?!?!" Everyone shouted at once. "Don't tell me Dr. Forrester's got another fanfic for us already!?!" Tom exclaimed in disbelief! "I was afraid of this...." Joel sighed. "He didn't even tell us what it is?! NO FAIR!!" Crow whined. "Come on guys, let's just go in and get it over with...." Joel replied.... "Lousy bum...." Tom grumbled. (Door 6: It's a giant speaker. You plug a electric guitar into it, crank up the volume and strum it hard, causing it to explode.) (Door 5: It's made of Lego. You take it apart and build a dozen small objects with it before you continue.) (Door 4: It's a four layer door. The first goes into the ceiling while the other three retract rapidly in order of left, right, left.) (Door 3: It's made of solid rock. You cover it with a large sheet of paper and it vanishes.) (Door 2: It's a complex puzzle from RIVEN. You work on it for an hour then take the coward's way out and read the solution from the net....) (Door 1: It a double door. Both swirl open from the center.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerges from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. Tom: Why was the door sequence the same as the last fic? Doesn't it usually change? Crow: This is a new season. Maybe they changed the routine? Joel: You just don't get it, do you guys? Crow and Tom: Get what? >And now a special message from your master, your god, your supreme >being of all that exists, the happiest sadist, Gentleman and Robots, Dr. >Clayton Forrester! Yay!!! Tom: What the heck's this all about? Crow: What could it mean? Joel: Why does Dr. Forrester sound like a girl? >Greetings, fools! I've temporarily inserted myself into this fanfic to tell >you that yesterday's abrupt ending was nothing more than a ruse to get >you spirits up so I can crush them with the remainder of "That Girl"! >BWAHAHAHAHA!!! So enjoy, my little friend and be sure to pay >special attention to the lemon scene, I wouldn't want you to miss all the >fun....heh heh heh....Toodles! Crow and Tom: .... Joel: Uh oh, I'd better tone down their emotion chips before it's.... Crow: WHY YOU #$#$%@%@%@%@%!#%!%!#%!%!!!! Tom: ARRRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!! (Tom's head explodes with a flash of pyrotechnics and a shower of sparks) Joel: ....too late. Crow: DAMN YOU, DR. FORRESTER!!! YOU'RE BEYOND EVIL!!! BEYOND EVIL!!! Joel: Crow, calm down and give me a hand with Tommy here. Crow: (still screaming at the screen) IF I EVER GET DOWN FROM THIS SATELLITE, YOU....!!! (Joel walks over to Crow and slaps him hard. Crow is momentarily dazed as Joel looks him in the eyes and says....) Joel: Crow! Get a grip! We're all in this together and *together* we can survive this! But I need you to calm down! I can't MST this fic without you guys....okay? Crow: (simulates taking a deep breath) Okay, fine Joel. Just let him walk all over us, why don't ya.... Joel: Stay frosty, pal. We're all in this together. Hand me that scotch tape.... (A few minutes later) Joel: Feeling better Tommy? Tom: (coughs) Yeah, I guess so.....I still hate Dr. F's guts though.... >Artemis finally founded Oscar in the game, and he had the Bazooka, >Oscar went wide-eyed as Artemis pushed the Fire button and blasted >Oscar into itty bitty pieces, Crow: We should have known it was too good to be true. This is Dr. Forrester we're talking about.... Tom: Still, a Duke Nukem .wad with Oscar as the enemy is a GREAT idea! Crow: From the creator of Priss Nukem.... Joel: That's the way, guys. Don't let Dr. F get to you.... Tom: I'll try Joel.... >"Yes!!! ha ha!" Artemis said With a big fat smile and his fang outside. >Oscar falled from the bed with a Crazy look on his face, and weakly said >"I-I can't beleive it!! A-Artemis beated me?". Tom: Geez, get a grip! It's only a video game for crying out loud.... Crow: Ahem, I believe the word Oscar meant to say was *defeated* not *beated.* Joel: Good job, Crow.... Crow: So get it right next time or else the Senshi will shove your N64 where the sun don't shine! Joel: Crow.... Crow: I'm calm! I'm just bitter, that's all.... >"Better luck next time!" Artemis said to him as he looked from the bed. >Oscar stood up and turned off the N64, and tunned in the FOX channel. Joel: All right! Just in time for Tazmania! Tom: Somehow I picture Oscar watching Eek the Cat.... >Then something knocked the door, Oscar and Artemis heard this and >went to the front door, He oppened it, but no one was there instead he >found a letter below his feet, Joel: First the cats were *in* their shoulders, then they ate *inside* a table, now a letter is *below* his feet? Crow: Maybe he just stepped on it? Joel: Oh.... >"Huh?" Oscar said as he took the envelope and oppened it. It said: Joel: Dear Oscar, you may have just won ten-million dollars! Tom: Dear Friend, welcome to Hermaphrodite's Anonymous! Crow: Dear Mr. O. Wilde, Your catnip scented hot oils have arrived and are ready to be picked up. >"Oscar, meet me at the School's football stadium, at 7:00 pm. sharp, and >come alone....". Oscar raised an eyebrow and returned inside, Artemis >was curious of what the letter said, and asked "Um Oscar what does it say?" Crow: (imitating Oscar) I've been called to jury duty for Judge Brainitite! Tom: (imitating Oscar) I've been accepted into Yale! Joel: (imitating Oscar) None of you damn business, furball! >Oscar looked down to Artemis and with a smile he replied "Oh just a little >challenge that some guy made me, no big deal," Artemis smiled and said >"Well, good luck" Oscar blinked and then chuckled. Crow: Now this is starting to sound like a Ranma 1/2 fanfic.... >It was 6:43 pm. and Oscar Got in his fighting suit, that looks like Goku's >but without the "Kame" sign, Joel: Funny, I was expecting something a bit more ...hermaphrodite-ish. Crow: Like what? A T-shirt that says "I go 2 wayz"? Joel: I guess I walked into that one. >he then left the house and went to the stadium. Oscar got there at 6:59 and >looked everywhere as he saw noone waiting for him. Joel: Who? Tom: Noone? Crow: Noone I ever heard of. Ha! I kill me.... >Oscar felt a little worried, and excactly at 7:00 he heared someone yell. >"SANDP-SPLASH!!!" The voice yelled, Tom: Who yelled first? Someone or the voice? Joel: Aren't Sandps very dangerous hermit-crabs? Tom: No, I believe Sandps are morons who sit at the beach all day and no one really wants to see bare-chested. Crow: Nah, Sandps are when cats do number 1. Joel and Tom: Oh, ick. >Oscar turned around but everything went all foggy and dusty, he couldn't see >nothing. Tom: Sailor Mercury's attacking him? Crow: Either her or Pigpen.... >A familiar voice then said "Why did you had to come into my life!?" >Oscar still confused said "Who are you? show yourself!" He then felt >something aproaching by his side, the person tryed to punch him, but Oscar >jumped out of it's range. Tom: Fortunately, Oscar had his spidey sense to evade the attack.... >"Why are you attacking me?" Oscar asked the voice, Crow: Wait a minute....Maybe Artemis hired an assassin to bump off Oscar! Joel: Of course! Mercury told Artemis how much Mina missed him and together they arranged this clever trap to be rid of him once and for all! Tom: That *would* be a cool plot twist....but I kinda doubt it. >and it replied "I liked you since the day i saw you....no one deserves you >more than me!!" Joel: Oscar knew those words would come back to haunt him someday.... Crow: Him? They're still haunting me.... >Again Oscar felt someone near him, the person tried to drop kick him, >but Oscar evaded again. The voice said "But no....you had to be in love >with a cat!!!" Oscar heared this and Went wide-eyed, as his mind went >to overdrive "What?!!" Osca said still bewildered. "DELTAAA KICK!!!!" Tom: WE TRIED TO GET UNITED AND TWA, BUT THEY WERE TOO EXPENSIVE!!!! >The voice yelled, Oscar was too emotionall to notice the person >aproaching, the person connected the 2 kicks to Oscar, he went >flying and slammed into the floor. All: YEAH! KICK HIS ASS, SAILOR MERCURY!!! >Oscar stood up "Sooo you wanna fight? then that you'll get" Crow: (imitating Oscar) My name is Oscar. Prepare to die! Tom: (imitating Mercury) You fight like a dairy farmer! Crow: (imitating Oscar) I am rubber, you are glue! Tom: (imitating Mercury) There are no words to describe how disgusting you are! Crow: (imitating Oscar) Oh yeah? Tom: (imitating Mercury) You're no match for my brains, you poor fool! Crow: (imitating Oscar) Uh....I am rubber, you are glue! >The person laughed "Ha ha ha!!" Oscar heared this and said "I know that >voice" Joel: It's Dr. Claw! >The person runned into Oscar, punching him repeteadly and kicking him, Crow: (imitating Captain Kirk in Star Trek III) I....AM SICK....AND TIRED....OF YOU!!! >Oscar blocked everyone of the person's attacks, Then the person made a >slash to Oscar and ripped his shirt, "Whoa!" Oscar said as he looked his >shirt all ripped off, Tom: (imitating Oscar) Aw, man! It took me six months to save enough cereal box tops for that! Crow: Thank god it wasn't his undies.... >"ROLLING BUCKLEEE!!!!" Tom: (imitating William Buckley) What my erudite colleagues may fail to realize is..." Joel: The Buckley stops here, Tom. >Oscar quickly noticed this and saw a medium sized ball run into him, >attacking him and scratching him below, Joel: That *HAS* to hurt.... Crow: Baraka in a cameo roll! Tom: (imitating Oscar) Thanks! A little lower and to the right.... Crow: Ick.... >but Oscar managed to block the fierce attack, then the person unballed >itself and made a move similar to Ken's shoryuken, Tom: He's being attacked by Ryu! Crow: Or Sakura.... Tom: Or Akuma.... Crow: Or Dan.... Tom: Or Sagat.... Crow: Or.... Joel: Enough, already! >Oscar too blocked that, The person now tryed to punch him on the face >but Oscar blocked it and jumped up. Tom: That's right! Not only will writing a self-insertion story get you the women, it'll make you INVINCIBLE! Joel: Just ask our satisfied customers....Twister, Pat Lee, Crys Shroder, John Biles.... >Oscar managed to see part of the person from above, it was a woman!. Crow: And which part would that be? Joel: Crow.... >Oscar when he came down, he didn't loked the woman there, and felt >something behind him, it was the woman preparing to land on him with >a BIG strong fist! Joel: ....severed from the left arm of Glen Manning! Crow: (imitating Felicia) TOGGG!!! >The woman launched her fist into him but she just traspassed him, IT >WAS AN ILLUSION, the real Oscar was before her, Tom: When did this fic turn into F/X? >and with a light fast punch to the stomach he desabilitated the woman. Crow: The hermaphrodite's vocabulary seems to be improving.... Joel: She's becoming unstable! She's reaching critical mass! Tom: It's TNT on PMS! AHHHH!!! >The woman held her stomach, and backed up, as she knelt in front of >Oscar. Crow: (imitating Oscar) I'M THE GOD! I'M THE GOD!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Tom: (imitating Felicia) I think I'm going to be sick.... Joel: I think a lot of angry Felicia fans will be e-mailing Oscar very soon.... >He then disipated the fog with a punch, he punched up to the air, >forming an air turrent and disipating the fog. The woman slowly took >form, Oscar looked at her, and exalted "Huh?!!" IT WAS FELICIA >"Fe-Felicia???" Joel: Come on, how can Oscar be so stupid as to not realize it was Felicia attacking him after the way she was obsessing over him earlier.... Crow: I get the feeling Oscar's been ambushed quite a bit..... > Felicia was still hurted for Oscar's light punch, Felicia began crying >her tears going down from her cheeks. Joel: (imitating Oscar) Get up you wuss! Is that all you've got?! Tom: First it was tear ducts in the heads of the Senshi, now it's in the cheeks of Felicia. Everyone's a freak in this fanfic! Crow: Which cheeks? Joel: Crow.... >Oscar knelt before her, Took her by the shoulders and standing her up, >he lifted her face looking her straight in the eyes. Tom: Oscar's moonlighting as a plastic surgeon? Crow: (imitating Oscar) You are getting sleepy.... Joel: He's engaged her in a staring contest. >"Felicia what is wrong?" Said Oscar, "Oscar.....why did you do this to >me?" Said Felicia still crying, Tom: Well, I could be wrong but attacking him just *might* have had something to do with it.... >Oscar shrugged "What i did to you? i didn't do nohing!" Joel: (imitating Oscar) But I didn't do *nothing* either.... Crow: First it was Serena, now he's imitating Ranma.... >Felicia then said "I like you Oscar...Don't you?" Oscar Blinked "Well >yes...but" Crow: (imitating Oscar) I want everyone to like me, not just myself! Tom: Oscar makes Kunou and Mikado look self-conscious.... >Felicia said "But what? Artemis isn't it?" Oscar sighed "Yes....Sorry >Felicia...." Joel: I hate to admit this but Oscar's showing he has some principles by sticking with Artemis. It may be bizarre but Oscar must really care for him if he's rejecting Felicia.... Tom: Well, bully for him. Crow: This is REALLY starting to sound like Ranma 1/2 now.... Joel: Yeah, all he needs is a few more suitors and he's set. Tom: I don't think anyone else is willing to chase Oscar....at least I hope not. >Felicia then said "But it's just that....i like you so much!" Oscar then >hugged Felicia "Now now Felicia....i'm not the only man in this >world.....you WILL find better men, Tom: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow.... Crow: Maybe even sooner than that! >and men that aren't Hermaphrodites....oops" Felicia looked at Oscar and >said "Hermaphrodite? you're an herm.?" Oscar blushed "Yes..." Joel: The moment of truth....Will she reject him because of the cruel trick nature played on him? Or will she look beyond his bizarre genitalia and see the true person within? Tom: (sighs) Joel, this is a self-insertion fic, remember? Truth has no meaning here.... >Felicia then said "I don't care....i just LOVE you!" Tom: See? Told you so! Joel: Sorry, I forgot who was writing this.... Crow: It's love at second sight! >Oscar breathed hard Crow: (imitating Lloyd Bridges) By this time my lungs were aching for air! >"Felicia....you have to find another man....i don't think we would make it" Tom: But, since this *IS* a self-insertion fic.... >Felicia then looked at Oscar straight in the eyes "I will try....but i'm not >sure....i mean look at me, i'm afreak" Oscar smiled "No you're not, Joel: You're ordinarily challenged! Crow and Tom: (singing) He's a superfreak! The kind you don't take home to mother.... >i'm a herm. and i have passed the last 11 years facing lots of humiliations >but now that i'm 14 i don't get such comments" Crow: So what happened between the ages of 0-3? And what's stopping people from commenting on him now? Tom: These and many other questions to hopefully never be answered in any future parts of Sailor Moon Z! Joel: We're seeing Oscar's sensitive side now.... >Felicia showed him her body, incuding her tail Crow: (imitating Oscar) Okay, you've convinced me. I'll ditch the furball and meet you in the bedroom in five minutes! Joel: Crow.... >"But won't this scare the guys off?" Oscar looked at her and said "I don't >think someone would care for that, not even the stupidest person would care >for such minor things" Crow: But the stupidest person *would* reject such a body for a ordinary cat and write a lemon about it.... Tom: (imitating Oscar) Just don't let that tail wander around when making love with a guy.... Joel: Tom.... Crow: Ick. >Felicia Smiled and said "Thanks Oscar" She hugged him, and Oscar said >"Sooo want me to walk you home?" Felicia giggled "No thanks, i'll go >alone, thanks" She waved goodbye and then she parted. Crow: (imitating Oscar) Hey, you didn't thank me again! Thanks for nothing! Tom: Well, let's recap the fanfic so far....Felicia's in love with Oscar and....uh....Felicia's in love with Oscar and she....uh....um....she fell in love with him right away and....uh....that's it! Crow: What about the lesbian sub-plot with Lita and Min....oh, *we* made that up....heh....sorry. Joel: You forgot about Oscar briefly sleeping with Artemis at one point.... Tom: I almost did, Joel, before you *REMINDED* me, thank you very much! Joel: Sorry.... >Oscar too went to his home. Artemis was a little worried for Oscar, but >Oscar returned just in time, Tom: ....to catch Artemis with Mina in bed. Crow: (imitating Artemis) Oh no! It's the freak! Quick Mina, get in the closet! Joel: (sung to "Harvey the Wonder Hamster") Oh, Oscar! Oscar! He loves saying Oscar! He is so great and he is so bold, when god made him, he broke the mold! Oscar, Oscar, Oscar the Hermaphrodite! HAIL OSCAR!!! Tom and Crow: .... >Artemis heared someone opening the front door, and instantly recognized >Oscar's smell Tom: (snickers) This one's almost too easy.... Crow: (Imitating Artemis) Hmm....Meow mix, wet fur, fresh pee, and a touch of catnip....yep, that's Oscar all right.... >"How did everything went?" Artemis asked Oscar, as he smiled. Oscar >looked down and smiled too Joel: Oscar and Artemis: Proud graduates of the Nuku Nuku school of smiling. Tom: Applications available at http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/sterman/fanfic.htm Crow: (imitating Oscar) Everything go good! >"Very well, that guy wasn't a match for me!" Artemis smiled "Hu hu, and >who was this guy?" Oscar blinked "Oh it was some loser from school, you >know envy and stuff. Joel: Oscar's legions of fans show up at any time in the day or night! >Well lets get to sleep" Tom: Sleep? Didn't the fight start at 7pm? They've got school in less than two hours! Crow: Who says they're going to bed early to sleep? Tom: UGGGGH!! Joel: I can't believe you went there, Crow.... Crow: I know, sometimes I scare myself... >Artemis went into the bedroom and into the bed sheets, as well did >Oscar, and they doze off to sleep. Crow: (imitating Mina) Uh....Artemis....Honey? Uh....I'm still in the closet, Artemis....Can I come out now please? This latex outfit is getting all sweaty! Joel: Crow.... Tom: Okay! That's it! It's one thing to plunge repeatedly through a table and it's another to have hollow shoulders and I can even accept a letter being below someone's feet! But sleeping *inside* bedsheets....!?! Joel: Maybe he's a ghost? Tom: Heh. That figures since he's come back to haunt us.... >The next day, Oscar and Felicia were in the classroom. Oscar turned, >and saw Felicia who was paying attention to the tech. Crow: (imitating tech) Standby! Ready to roll and record in 5 seconds, 15 seconds from now.... >Oscar blinked, and tought "Hmmm seems that she has found someone >else...good" The teacher went to Oscar's desk while he was looking at >Felicia. "OSCAR! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!" Joel: Looks like the female teachers are not the only ones stressed out.... Tom: Just another day in Home Economics.... Joel: (imitating teacher) LISTEN YOU FREAK!! STOP LOOKING AT THE OTHER FREAK AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!! Tom: I was just looking at a pussy! Joel: Tom.... >Oscar heared this, and shrugged with a worried look on his face he >slowly turned to the tech. Crow: (imitating tech) Don't distract me now, you weirdo! IS THE FLOOR READY? GOOD! IS LIGHTING READY? LIGHTING? LIGHTING, YOU AWAKE IN THERE OR WHAT?!? >"Y-Yes?". Everyone then teased him by saying "He he he.....Felicia! >Oscar!" All: ....SITTING IN THE TREE! K..I..S..S..I..N..G! >Oscar blushed and said under his breath "Losers". Tom: (imitating Oscar) They seem to have forgotten that this is MY self-insertion story. Heh heh heh.... >Then recess came, Oscar, Serena, Rei, Mina, and Amy, sat in their >usual spot, All: TOGGG!!! Tom: ....in the middle of the table. Crow: I still want to know when recess was introduced to high school.... >Oscar noticed, that Felicia and Lita weren't there, "Hmmm where could >they be?" he said with a Happosai type face. Crow: Oh that's much better than Times New Roman.... Tom: Is he lusting after them? Why would his face be like Happosai? Joel: Maybe Flashman bought out Lita's contract obligations for this fanfic? >Serena then said "Oh Oscar, Lita and Felicia are with they new >boyfriends!" Oscar smiled, "Alright!". Tom: (imitating Oscar) Two less girls to chase after me! Crow: I shudder to think of Serena and Oscar ever getting it on.... though it might explain the origins of Chibi-usa a little better.... Joel: Crow.... >Rei grinned "Hmm that's one thing you couldn't even get if your life >depended on it!" Serena glared at Rei "Look who's talking! Little >Psycho!" Tom: Kodachi? Crow: B-ko? >They started one of their classic Tounge matches. Oscar looked at >those 2 fight "He he he....guess somethings never change!" Tom: Yep, as long as lemon fanfiction exists, they'll always be scenes of Serena and Rei frenching each other.... Crow: Amen, brother! Joel: You guys.... >Amy had a Math book, in her left hand, while in her right she held >the Rice mound, she was eating. Joel: (imitating voice over) Little does Amy know, we've secretly replaced her rice mound with a piece of styrofoam. Let's see how long it takes her to notice.... >Oscar took a little walk in the school yard, to pass the food when he >suddenly saw Lita with some guy, Oscar stopped and looked at the >cupple Tom: You know Oscar, it might be wise to invest a *cupple* of bucks into a *descent* spellchecker.... >"Hmm guess he's Lita's new Boyfriend, Hey...but he's not from this >school....nah who cares" he tought And just walked away. Lita was with >her boyfriend, Crow: (imitating Lita) Look everyone! Doesn't he remind you of my old boyfriend? >"Umm and what do you want to become, when you finish college?" She >asked, Joel: A lumberjack? Tom: Successful? Crow: The owner of a previously owned coffin business? (Joel and Tom stare at Crow.) Crow: What? >"Umm i dunno, but a fanfic critic is not one of my best" He said. Crow: Suds-kun is her new boyfriend? Tom: Wow, I wonder how many tea kettle's this fic would get? Joel: I dunno but I think a Dead Ryouga would be included.... >"Oh Kogi...." Crow: Grab the picnic basket, Poo-poo!" >Lita said, and tought "I hope he doesn't break my heart like my ex". Joel: Face it, Lita....You're just not *freddy* for a long-term relationship.... >Felicia was waiting for her boyfriend, in a bench, he eventually got in >time "Felicia! puff!" the guy said as he reached where Felicia was Crow: Lita's dating a magic dragon who lives by the sea? Tom: (imitating Lita) You know, you shouldn't smoke while you run.... >"Hi" she responded, "Sorry if i'm late, i had some business to finish in >the other school" The guy said. (Note Lita and Felicia's BF are guys >from another school, and when they come here, they are in recess too >ok?). Crow: No, it's not ok. We insist you stop the fanfic and explain it to us in detail. Now. Joel: Do we really have a choice? >Felicia smiled and took his arm "So, how've ya been?" Felicia said, trying >to make some conversation, "Oh well, The tech's are assholes, Crow: (imitating tech) Is that so?! Well, let's see how well you do without your key light, smartass! >some guy at the school is a nerd, the usual, Joel: Looks like Melvin likes to visit other schools during recess too. >and u?" Felicia blinked "Well a little hard, to go thru life cuz i'm a >catwoman.... Crow: (imitating Felicia) Not to mention all the people drawing ecchi pics of me with John Talbain and posting them on the net.... Tom: Better Talbain than Oscar.... >but seems that you don't care for that" Tom: (imitating boyfriend) You're right. You're boring the hell out of me. I want to talk about what's on my mind....heh heh heh.... Joel: Tom.... >She smiled and hugged him "That's one good thing of you...Kuro". >Kuro blushed and caressed her hair "You too Feli..". Lita came along, >and when Kuro saw her, he said "Ummm Felicia let me bring you >something to drink ok? just a minute" Felicia "Ok!" Crow: (imitating Felicia) Ok! I'll just stand here like a moron while you run away from Lita for whatever reason! Joel: She didn't see Lita yet, Kuro did. Tom: Either way, at least the plot's finally branching out a bit.... >Kuro runned into the cafeteria, as Lita got where Felicia was "Hiya Felicia, >how're you doing with your BF?" Crow: Back Flogger? Tom: Big Flamer? Crow: Bong Filler? >Felicia smiled and looked at her "Fine, he just went ot bring me some ice >tea" Lita then asked "Um by the way, have you seen Kogi?" Felicia went-wide >eyed "Who?" Lita replied "Kogi, he's my BF" Crow: Blood Fiends? Tom: Brute Force? Joel: Bone Fighter? >Felicia shrugged "Nope sorry" Lita frogned Tom: Lita *what*? Crow: Frogned? Is that the materia in Final Fantasy VII that turns you into a frog? Joel: She's already wearing green, why make it harder on herself? >"I can't find him....Well c'ya! good luck eh?" Lita left her there. Joel: (imitating Lita) I'm taking off, you hoser! Tom: (imitating Lita) Come up and see me in Canada when you get a chance, eh? Crow: Do Canadians really talk like that, Joel? Joel: Well, we think they do.... >"Bye!" Felicia yelled, When Kuro saw Lita leaving he got out of the >cafeteria, and went to Felicia's side "Oh Kuro, Lita just passed, thanks" Crow: Passed what? An exam? Out? Joel: A kidney stone? Tom: Gas? >She said as Kuro handed her the Glass of tea. "Oh that big girl?" Kuro >asked Felicia, "Yes she has some strenght!" Felicia responded. Crow: (imitating Felicia) Why, just a second ago, she crushed my jaw so I can't speak properly.... Tom: She took down Godzilla and the WWF, how much more strength does she need? Joel: And what does being big have anything to do with it? Crow: Wasn't Felicia described at the beginning of this fic as a big girl too? >Kuro sighed "You can say that again" Crow: Wasn't Felicia described at the beginning.... Tom: Save your breath, Henny.... >Felicia raised a eyebrow and said "Huh? What was that?" Kuro inmediately >looked back at Felicia "Oh nothing, don't mind me". Tom: (imitating Kuro) My mind was just on Lita's breasts....No! I mean Pita breads! Yeah, some nice loaves of fresh Pita bread would be great about now....heh.... Crow: (imitating Felicia) Nice cover up! I give it a 7.8 for artistic merit and a 3.2 for delivery.... >The day went on, Crow: And on, and on, and on... Tom: Much like this fanfic, it keeps going and going.... Joel: Cue the pink bunny! >Felicia kept paying attention to the tech. Crow: (imitating tech) Okay, honey, can you give me a mike check please? Good, okay now look towards the camera for second so I can adjust the focus.....Okay, that's good. Thanks for your cooperation. >Oscar felt good cuz Felicia had founded someone else. at 4:10 again >everyone left the school, the whole gang was in the sidewalk chatting >about school stuff, Tom: (imitating students) Okay guys, after we've taken over the school and force some prozac into the teachers, this will be our demands.... Number one: We demand shorter school hours at reasonable times of the day! Number two: We lose the freaks permanently! Number three: We go to America and lay siege to USA Today for that idiotic anime article.... >Lita then sayed "Ho boy, my BF is just the greatest!, Joel: Breakfast Flakes? Tom: Belly Flop? Crow: Butt Fuc.... Joel: DON'T even think about it, Crow.... Tom: No wonder Lita's so excited! Joel: Tom! >his name is Kogi" Everyone looked at her and asked "Why?" Lita responded Joel: (imitating Lita) Uh....because that's what his parents named him? >"Well he's tall he's strong, has a cute face, nice hair, and.....He looks >like my ex-boyfriend" Crow: Gee, we never saw THAT coming, did we? Tom: Something tells me Lita's going to have those words etched on her tombstone... Joel: Thank god for Dying Fire.... >Everyone fell (Sailormoon style) POOOOWW!. Crow: ....in a way that exposes their panties? Joel: ....into the center of another table? Tom: TOGGG!!! Crow: Oscar's stealing M. Llave's sound effects! Joel: So did we. Crow: Oh yeah, I forgot.... >Oscar, Artemis, Amy and the others slowly stood up "Oh man...." Rei >said as she looked at Lita. Tom: (imitating Rei) You are one hot babe, Lita! >Lita looked at everyone stand up, and had a Bewildered look on her face, >"What's wrong?" She asked Crow: Other than you full-blown obsession with your ex-boyfriend? Not much. >"Ne-Nevermind!" Said Artemis. All: (singing) HELLO...HOW LOW....HELLO....HOW LOW.... Tom: We're still waiting for this fic to entertain us.... >After they stood up, Felicia said "Well me too! Joel: (imitating Felicia) I look like Lita's ex-boyfriend too! >his name is Kuro" Oscar heared this and patted her shoulder Tom: (imitating Oscar) Hmm....sounds hollow. >"Glad that you finally found someone...nice going!" he made a >thumbs-up sign. Crow: (imitating Oscar) Japan A-OK! Tom: Who knows where that thumb has been? Joel: Don't go there Tom.... >Everyone got home in time, Oscar when he got home, Artemis jumped >down from his shoulder. The week went on, Joel: (imitating Gary Shandling) Okay, a week has just passed.... >as Felicia and Lita kept dating their BF's, Tom: Beer Foam? Crow: Blue Fish? Joel: Skinners? >And Oscar was free from Felicia's claws, Crow: No pun intended.... >Then, in saturday Felicia went to the park, where Kuro would meet her, >Lita was also there, but in another place, Tom: If she's still there, it can't be a better place.... Joel: How can she be there and in another place at the same time? Crow: There *are* other fanfics with Lita out there, Joel.... Tom: Alternate universes. Gotta love em. Crow: Not this one I don't.... >she was with Kogi. They went nearer and nearer where Felicia was, >and Felicia noticed someone aproach, Kogi noticed Felicia from a >distance and inmediately backed up "What's wrong?" Lita asked >worried, as Kogi had a scared look on his face Joel: (imitating Kogi) I don't wanna facefault when she tells me about her old boyfriend, it hurts! >"No-Nothing lets just go this way" he turned back and went the other way, >Felicia followed them, as she came in closer, "Kuro?" Felicia asked, Tom: Uh oh.... Crow: Looks like somebody's been doing some two-timing.... Joel: Is he nuts?!? Cheating on a girl that defeated Godzilla and another catgirl that fights Darkstalkers for a living?!? Tom: And this year's stupidest person of the year award goes to....KURO! >Lita turned back and saw Felicia "Oh hi Felicia! this is Kogi, who i talked >you about last monday" Joel: (imitating Lita) Hey! He reminds me of my *current* boyfriend! >Kogi hid his face from Felicia, Crow: Exactly where is he hiding it? Tom: I can think of a nice place.... Joel: Tom.... >"Kogi say hi, c'mon" Lita said as she shook him Kogi weakly said "Hi..." >Felicia heared his voice and said "Hey i know that voice" Crow: And it ain't Dr. Claw! Tom: Kogi better hope his life insurance is paid up because he's about to get a lynching that'll make Lum's seem pale by comparison.... Joel: Too bad Kogi isn't the star of this self-insertion fic.... >Lita blinked "Huh?" Felicia Said "Hmmm Kuro hasn't showed up, he said >he would meet me here at this hour...." Kogi said to Felicia, still hiding >his face from her "Don't worry, he'll come" Crow: He's practically there already! Tom: Come on, surely Felicia's seen his face and made the connection by now.... >Felicia kept thinking "I know that voice...but nah! he couldn't be" Crow: (imitating Felicia) My boyfriend hides his face in my neck, not between my breasts.... Joel: Crow.... >And then said "Ok, C'ya!" She said as she left. Lita then turned to Kogi >"Well lets continue" Joel: (imitating Lita) ....to pretend that you didn't try to hide your face from Felicia for some strange reason or that something fishy is going on behind my back.... Tom: I don't believe this. Oscar's reduced Felicia and Lita's intelligence to the size of a peanut.... Crow: (imitating Chico Marx) Peannnnnnnnuts.....to you, Oscar! >Kogi and Lita kept walking on the park's sidewalk. Joel: Because, you see, that's what you do on a sidewalk.... >Felicia was still waiting for Kuro, but after 20 mins. she gave up hope, >and went with Lita. Joel: (imitating Felicia) Okay, Lita, I've been stood up so you're my date for today.... Tom: (imitating Felicia) Say Lita, why did your boyfriend hide from me like that? Joel: (imitating Lita) I don't know, maybe he's shy or something? Why did you think you heard his voice? Tom: (imitating Felicia) I dont know, I guess there are a million voices in the world that could sound like Kuro's.... Crow: Maybe Lita's in on it. You ever think of that? Tom and Joel: Hmmm.... >Lita and Kogi where in a bench, chatting, Joel: *** Sailor Jupiter changes topic to "When do you think the freak will catch on?" Crow: Felicia's such a moron! She still thinks I'm interested in her.... Joel: Hey Lita, check this out! *** Kuro is now known as Kogi Joel: Look! Now I'm a completely different boyfriend! Tom: Hahaha! :) Crow: Now watch this! *** Kogi is now known as Felicia Crow: Hmmm Kuro hasn't showed up, he said he would meet me here at this hour....DUH!!! Tom: ROTFLMAO!!! >Felicia saw them from a distance, Kogi got closer to Lita and finally kissed >her mouth to mouth. Joel: Because, you see, that's what you do when you kiss.... >Felicia saw the scene and She looked horrified as She saw Kuro kissing >Lita! Tom: If Felicia hasn't caught on by now, I'm outta here.... >Felicia went to the bench where they were sittening, with a furious look, she >eventually got there, Crow: (imitating Felicia) *gasp* *wheeze* W...who's brilliant idea was it to put the benches *wheeze* ten miles apart from one other, anyway?!? >Kogi looked at her and gasped "Fe-Felicia!!" He said after parting from >Lita's mouth, Tom: Parting saliva is such sweet sorrow.... >Felicia still had the furious look and slapped him fiercely on the >face.SLAAP!!. Tom: I wonder what kind of slap it was? Joel: Oscar said it was a fierce slap. Tom: Yeah, but a *Fierce* slap is where Felicia uses two hands. I think she used a *Strong* slap.... Crow: Maybe it was a *Jab* slap? >Time literaly freezed that moment, Felicia with her strong paw, Kogi/Kuro >hurted by the hit,and Lita Exalted by the scene. Tom: (imitating Lita singing) Glo-o-o-o-ria! Crow: Does Oscar have ANY idea what *exalted* means? Joel: Oscar doesn't even know what *frogned* means..... >"You bastard!!!!" Said Felicia with her teeth clenched and her fist >heavily closed, Tom: INTENSE....CLENCHING....ACTION!!! Joel: What, they killed Kenny? >"How could you do this to me Kuro!!!??" Lita gasped "Kuro? but aren't >you Kogi?!" Kogi/Kuro said "i-I can explain!!!" Lita stood up, "Son of a >bitch!!! hya" Crow: (imitating Lita) take this. and this. and some of this. feel my wrath. Tom: The quieter they yell, the louder they impact.... >She punched him in the nose making it bleed. Joel: That must have been a *Jab* >That Kogi dude was playing with her feelings, At the same time, but with >diferent names!. Joel: (imitating Lita) You bastard!! Now I'm going to be mooning over *TWO* of my old boyfriends!! >Felicia was too Hurted to stay there, she ran off, Lita yelled "FELICIA! >WHERE ARE YOU GOING! WAIT!" , Kuro/Kogi was still hurted for >those 2 hits they made him. Crow: Oh no! Dr. Thinker's using ESP to invade the fanfic! Tom: I'd rather read a fanfic by Dr. T than Oscar's any day.... Joel: Come on Tom, it hasn't been all that bad, has it? Crow: It ain't over yet, Joel.... >Lita slapped him one last time and left, walking, Kogi/Kuro was left >there in the bench all alone. Tom: But he'll make his return later this fall in the upcoming fanfic by Flashman: *DUO* starting Kogi/Kuro as himself! Joel: Watch the fun as Kogi lands a date with one of the Dominon Puma Twins! But which twins are dating whom? Read *DUO* and find out! Crow: *DUO* Because three's company but two's a crowd.... >Oscar was in his room Watching some recorded Ranma1/2 episodes with >Artemis, when it was 7:33 pm. Joel: (imitating Oscar) Hmm....90 minutes till I have to go to school....I think I'll take a nap. Crow: Oh goodie. I was wondering when we'd get back to Oscar.... Tom: Think those tapes he's watching are fansubs? >when the tape finished, Oscar stood up and stretched, and said >"Artemis....ahummmm i wanna take a walk, And i'm gonna return late >ok? so you don't wait me" Artemis was side layed on the bed, and >smiled at Oscar "Ok," he yawned. Crow: Side layed? Joel: Just let it pass, Crow. It's too sick to think about.... Tom: (imitating Artemis) Oh, I won't wait you, Oscar....I'll be too busy having Mina wait on me.... Crow: Don't you mean....Mina's *weight* on me? Heh heh heh.... Joel: Guys.... >Oscar putted on his shirt, jeans, and tennis, Crow: With all the *putting* that's been going on in this fanfic, you'd think he'd put on a *golf*. Tom: Oscar's planning to go all the way at Wimbleton.... >he left the house. He was worried about something....something he couldn't >excactly pin down, Joel: (imitating Oscar) My undies! I forgot them! Crow and Tom: Joel.... >his mind was racing on why he was worried. "Oh...It's been pretty strange >lately" He said to himself as he was in a lonely sidewalk. Crow: (imitating Oscar) Damn it! I keep forgetting about the wet cement here! >He turned around the corner, he had his face looking down, and when he >looked straight, there she was Felicia under a lightpost, lonely and sad. Tom: Jimmy Durante, eat your heart out.... Joel: When did this turn into the boulevard of broken dreams? Crow: All we need now is some rain.... Tom: To add dramatic effect and deepen the mood? Crow: No, so the fanfic will be called on account of it.... >Oscar tought "Huh? Felicia here?" He got closer and said "Felicia" She >then looked at him, and with a weakly voice said "Oscar....waaahhh" >She began crying, and went ot his side, Oscar hugged her, and parted her >off him by her shoulders "What happened?!" Oscar asked Felicia, worried >about her Tom: Oscar always did have a soft spot for cats.... Crow: And cats always had a wet spot for.... Joel: Crow! >"Kuro....he...he was with Lita!! waaahh" Oscar gasped "NANI!? i mean >huh? Joel: (imitating Oscar) Almost let my Japanese accent slip out.... Crow: So he's been talking in English the whole time? >with Lita? i tought Lita had already a boyfriend" Felicia looked at him, >with tears roling down her cheeks Tom: (imitating Felicia) What? I didn't understand you? Speak Japanese! >"Yes...but...Kuro is Kogi! he played with us all along!!" Crow: ....for fools, that is. Joel: (imitating Kuro) A few games of mahjong never hurt anyone.... >Oscar turned his face to the side and with a Worried look he tought "Oh >God!" Tom: You devil? Crow: (imitating Oscar) Oh God! Now she's going to chase after me again....DAMN! I HATE BEING SUCH A SEXY HERMAPHRODITE!!! >Felicia still cring said to him "Please...help me..." Oscar looked down to >Felicia "How?" Joel: (imitating Alien infested woman) KILL ME....KILL....ME.... Crow: Why is he looking down at....oh man! She's on her knees again!?! >She responded "Please...make me forget him.." Tom: Use the shampoo bottle labeled 911, Felicia! Crow: No, use Belldandy's mind erasing trick!! Joel: Bash yourself over the head repeatedly with a hammer and pray for brain damage!!! All: JUST DON'T DO WHAT YOU'RE THINKING OF DOING!!! >Oscar gasped "Huh? Are you sure? with me?" Felicia hugged Oscar >softly "Yes...only with you it'll be alright" Tom: Because, you see, sleeping with another guy as soon as possible after a break up is the *only* way for a girl to forget him.... Crow: I wonder who's helping Lita forget....? Joel: In this fic? Probably Freddy.... >Oscar gulped and closed his eyes Joel: Well, thank goddess for Oscar's eternal devotion to Artemis or he might have taken advantage of poor Felicia.... >"Very well then..." Felicia weakly smiled as she parted from Oscar. Joel: NANI!?!?! Crow: So much for staying true to the one you love.... Tom: In the end, Oscar chose one pussy over another.... Joel: That's it! I officially *HATE* Oscar now! I hate him! Crow: Welcome to the club, Joel.... >Oscar walked Felicia home, when they arrived, Felicia got off her >clothes, and was only in her remaining fur. Oscar went-wide eyed, Tom: (imitating Oscar) She reminds me of my old boyfriend! >after they got ot her room, they sat on the bed. Felicia was a little >nervous, but all of her stress went off, as Oscar caressed her hair, Joel: (imitating Oscar) Oh, Shampoo...UH, I mean Felicia! Crow: Exactly *where* was the hair that Oscar was caressing? Joel: Crow.... >Felicia layed on the bed. He looked her straight in the eyes, as Oscar >got closer and kissed her passionately, she felt completely absorved by >the kiss, she never felt this good on her life. Tom: At least until she discovers catnip. Crow: I'm pretty sure if she did it with another woman, it would be even better. Tom: How about the Dominion Puma Twins? Now *THAT* would be a hell of a lemon! Joel: Tom.... >Oscar's right hand went south caressing all of Felicia's part along the way, >and reached her pussy, her nipples hardened instantly and were visible, He >began stroking her pussy. Crow: Hey, he's stroking a pussy's pussy! Joel: Crow.... Tom: Are you going to keep repeating our names during this scene, Joel? >He then parted from Felicia's mouth, as he now started licking her large firm >breasts, while massaging them with his left hand, he kept stroking her wet >virgin pussy, and Felicia moaned and her breathing came in short gasps, >with her eyes closed. Tom: (imitating Felicia) Tell me when it's over! >Oscar kept licking her chest, in little circles and reaching her right >nipple, while a thumb was teasing her left nipple, she let out a loud >moan "Ahhh...Ughhmmm" Crow: She sounds like she's about to puke.... >Her pussy was letting out her juice, and Oscar's fingers where being >soaked by them, he easily darted his finger into her, teasing her pink >swollen clit. Felicia moaned louder, her aching tits heaving, Tom: Her breasts finally lost their lunch.... Joel: Can you blame them after being licked by Oscar? >Oscar then went to her crotch, took his finger out and started to lick >her outer cunt lips, and eventually worked on into her inner lips. Crow: This is sickening! I can't take much more of this! Joel: At least it's not Artemis this time.... Tom: It's still an ego trip, Joel.... >Her warm juice was filling Oscar's mouth, while he flickered her clit >with his tounge, Crow: He flickered and lickered it.... Tom: This is no time for *Games* Crow.... >she was now spasming, breathing rapidly. Oscar smiled, suddenly Felicia >sat, and grabbed Oscar by his shirt, unbuttoning it, and taking it off. Oscar >didn't do nothing to stop her. Crow: Then he must have done *something* to stop her. Tom: Oscar using a double negative? Say it ain't so.... Joel: What about his Tennis? Does he keep that on when he makes love? >She then unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down and revealing unly a >white undie wich was wet in the 2 genital parts area. Felicia shredded >Oscar's undies, he blushed as he saw his rock hard cock up, and his >pussy, all wet and pink Tom: ARRRRRRRRGH!!! (Tom's head explodes once more) Crow: SPEW!!! THAT'S IT! WE'RE CLOSING OUR EYES!!! Joel: You're probably right. If anyone *REALLY* wants to see the rest of the lemon scene, they can visit his website. Crow: Yeah, I'm sure they'll be burning up the phone lines, Joel.... (Joel and the bots close their eyes. After a little while, Joel risks a look....) Joel: Okay, it's over guys. (Tom regains finally consciousness, his broken head smoking and blackened with soot. He coughs a few times.) Tom: (Imitating Terminator) I need a vacation.... >Felicia fell on the bed exhausted, and Oscar layed on her side, gasping for >air, Crow: (imitating Lloyd Bridges) By this time my lungs were aching for air! Joel: Felicia's breasts must be experiencing dry heaves by now.... >barely staying awake, flat on their backs. "Felicia.....that was marvelous, >you were purrfect" Oscar said still exhausted, Joel: (imitating Oscar) I wrote that! >"Thanks dear Oscie..." Felicia responded. Oscar then said "But, i can't >stay...remember that you must never give up, you'll find your true blue >prince someday..." All: (singing) SOMEDAY....SOMEWHERE....SOMEHOW!!! >Felicia weakly smiled "Ok...Thanks" She eventually fell asleep. Oscar >got up, after Felicia fell asleep, he putted on his clothes again, Joel: (singing) Putt Putt for the fun of it! Putt Putt for the fun of it.... Crow: The heck with Pebble Beach! Oscar's clothes is the best golf course! Tom: Maybe Oscar's undies are full of holes? Crow: Ick! >and left. Oscar knew that Artemis would notice Felicia's scent and know >what happened, So he got an idea. He went into some alleys and fought >fierce street dogs, Crow: Wha?!?! Tom: Ladies and Gentlemen, we've just broken the goofy meter! Joel: Fortunately, Oscar lived within walking distance of Jim Henson's Dog City.... >so he could get their scent and disipate Felicia's scence. Tom: Scence? Sense? Seance? Joel: Maybe it's scene? Crow: This being a self-insertion fic, Oscar removed all traces of his sordid lemon scene with Felicia, enabling him to take Felicia's virginity over and over and over again.... Joel: Crow.... >"Alright!" He said as he left a pile of dead dogs in an alley. Crow: The 101 Dalmatians were in the wrong place at the wrong time.... Tom: Oscar makes Cruella look like Snow White! Joel: Too bad Oscar didn't tangle with the Fierce Street Frogs. Dr. Slick could have kicked his ass without breaking a sweat.... >He got home, and when he opened the door, Artemis was asleep. He >woke up to the smell of something disguisting "Eeww what reeks?" he >asked to himself, Tom: (imitating Artemis) Uh oh....Did I forget to let Mina out of the closet? >then Oscar entered the room all soiled and stniky Joel: Maybe he fought some pigs and cows on the way home too? Crow: No, I think that's his normal appearance.... >"Oh man! what happened?" Asked Artemis still covering his nose >"Agh i had a little fight with some alley dogs, and you know that they >reek" Joel: Oh yeah, you should smell the dogs after they tangled with Oscar.... Tom: (imitating Artemis) So you just decided to randomly attack some dogs for the hell of it? Okay, that makes perfect sense.... >Artemis said "Ok, but take a shower would you?!" Oscar inmediately >got to the bathroom, and putted the soiled clothes on the Laundry >machine. All: FORE! >Artemis doze off to sleep again, as Oscar finished his shower, and went >with Artemis to sleep. The next monday, Everyone was walking to school, Joel: (imitating Gary Shandling) Okay, another week has just passed.... >Lita was still a little depressed for what happened on Saturday, Crow: (imitating Lita) I can't believe I slept with Freddy last night....What was I thinking!?! >but Felicia was smiling lightly. Oscar looked at Felicia and tought >"Guess she alreday forgot about the heart break that Kuro left her" Joel: Actually she's happy because Oscar removed all traces of their lemon scene.... Crow: I wish it were that easy for us.... >They all went to school, as another day begun. Tom: And as long as Oscar's writing this, he'll continue to have fun.... >THE END.....FOR NOW!! Crow: Oh, man! We did it! We survived Oscar for a second time.... Joel: I told you we could do it! All for one and one for all! Tom: Easy for you to say, Joel. *You* didn't lose another two heads! Joel: Relax, I can fix you up again in no time.... >Well, sorry if i did 2 pages, but the first one couldn't resist all of the >storie so i had to do it in 2 pages.... Tom: And we had to MST it in 2 parts....That was a dirty trick, Dr. F! Crow: The first one tried so hard to resist Oscar's fanfic but it was overwhelmed.... >sorry if i distracted you in the sex scene.... Joel: *Distracted* isn't the word I would have chosen, Oscar.... Crow: I can think of a dozen I could rattle off right now.... >i tryed to spell check no promises! ^_^ Joel: Is that a promise? Crow: (imitating Yoda) Tryed?! Do or do not! There is no tryed! Tom: Get us out of here, Chewy.... * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE "So, honestly guys, what did you think of the fanfic?" Joel asked. Tom thought about it for a moment before replying. "Well, it was a better effort than the original draft of "Artemis Lover" and it was a HUGE relief that Oscar didn't include another sickening bestiality scene. But it was still pretty bad, IMHO...." "Just look at the plot, Joel!" Crow spoke up. "Felicia falls in love with Oscar, Lita and Felicia are two-timed by another guy, and Felicia sleeps with Oscar! The end! Not to mention all the time during the fic when Oscar stroked his own colossal ego....among other things." "What did YOU think of the story, Joel!" Tom suddenly inquired. "Actually, this fanfic reminded me of that Fusion Dragonball Z movie." Joel remarked. The one where Goku and Vegita fuse together to form Gojita. The entire movie was nothing but build up and at the end...the final scene lasted a few seconds and that was it. I will agree with Tom that the lack of bestiality scenes helped a great deal...." Joel added. "Yeah...." Crow stretched out his arms as he yawned. "Well guys, I don't know about you, but I'm beat. Those Oscarfics really take it out of me. I'm going to take a nap. What are you guys gonna do?" "I have to fix Tom and then I'll probably work on next week's invention, so you go ahead Crow." Joel replied as he walked down the hall towards Tom's room to retrieve another one of the bubbleheads required to repair the robot.... * * * DEEP 13 "A nap sounds good about now...." Frank remarked as his head remained decapitated on the floor, his body at the far end of the room. Dr. Forrester-Chan had left him stranded there for the night, having left after beginning the experiment. "This isn't how I planned to get *ahead* in life...." Frank sighed as he closed his eyes and used his teeth and tongue to pull the dish towel, that Dr. Forrester-Chan had been kind enough to give him for a blanket, up to his nose and soon drifted off to sleep.... THE REAL END. (Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.) IT'S DONE! Oh, man! When I found out about Oscar's birthday a week ago, I knew I had to do something to celebrate the occasion but it's not easy turning a 9 page single space story into a 80 page MSTing. I separated it into two parts to give the reader a chance to take a break if they wanted and read the second part later. I hope you liked this story because there's a lot more coming for 1998. I hope to tackle another lemon or two, The Satellite of Hate will make a reappearance, Dr. Thinker will also be featured again this year and they'll be plenty of humorous skits and inventions among them. ;) I'd like to give very special thanks to Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong, Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh, and Gary Kleppe who were all very helpful in giving me C&C and ideas for this MSTing. I couldn't have finished this MSTing in a week's time without their help and I can't thank them enough. :) I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight), Michael K. Neylon and Sakura for being nice enough to post my MSTings on their webpages. If there's anyone else I missed, I apologize. Finally I'd like to wish Oscar a happy birthday and thank him for writing "That Girl" and giving me a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not too offended. If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I won't mind a bit. C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) Feel free to send in any anime fanfics that you would like to see MSTed and I'll take a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous episodes of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you. ;) Sincerely, Megane 6.7 P.S. If you haven't had a chance yet, my friend Lunari has just released a SM fic titled "Dying Fire" featuring Lita. It is a wonderful story and if you are interested in reading it, contact her at lunari@sprynet.com and I'm sure she'll be happy to send a copy to you. :) Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html (Celebrating it's one year anniversary, Tenchi's webpage is now bigger and better looking than ever! Check out the new features and enjoy the MSTings of an ever-growing number of talented authors.) Shizen's Versatile Homepage http://www.winnipeg.freenet.mb.ca/~cto427/index.html (Shizen was nice enough to dedicate a webpage to me for my MSTings and it also contains a link to my other stories and the stories of Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh, who's assisted me with my MSTings.) The Official Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong http://www.li.net/~jeffwong/index.htm (Author of the popular "Usagi's Usual Morning" and "The Least One Can Do" series. He is a great human being and has assisted me with several of my MSTings.) Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics (Another author with a vast selection of terrific Ranma 1/2 fanfics and a great human being.) Website Number 9 MSTings http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml (Huge collection of MSTings, Anime and Non-Anime.) A Sailor Moon Romance http://moonromance.simplenet.com/ (The source of some of my MSTings and updated weekly with new fics.) Jupiter Knight's Great Sailor Moon Fanfic Archive http://www.dragonfire.net/~JupiterKnight/fanfics.htm (A great source of Sailor Moon Fanfics.) Zen's Fanfiction Page http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html (One of the most controversial fanfic writers today and one of my favorites.) Webdragon's Lair http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/ (The author of many wonderful short stories and the occasional lemon.) Sakura's Lemon Fan-Fiction Archive http://anime.muck.com/~sakura/main.html (Ever growing collection of Lemon Fanfiction from all walks of Anime.) The Shrine O' Oscar http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/Oscar.html (Home of all the Oscarfic MSTings and final respects paid to him....) SEASON ONE ------------------ 101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon) 102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon) 103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman (SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER) 104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic) 105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic) 107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton (La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover) 108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky (SM/WWF Crossover) w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover) 110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic) "How could you do this to me Kuro!!!??" Lita gasped "Kuro? but aren't you Kogi?!" Kogi/Kuro said "i-I can explain!!!" Lita stood up, "Son of a bitch!!! hya" Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics....