From: Scopedog Subject: [Votoms][FanFic] Mechacide This is my first story-post to raac. This story is written in a sort of wierd style. I couldn't decide if I wanted it to be in screenplay, script, or novel format, so it's sort of in-between. The raac FAQ says that authors should finish their stories before posting them, but even though this is only a first episode, it is introductory in nature and almost completely self-contained. If it turns out that I've succeeded in generating concern about these characters or an interest in what may follow, then I might create more installments. I do have an over-riding joke in mind and an appropriate punch-line(another way of saying there's a definite plot and definite closure). Comments and ESPECIALLY criticism are welcome. Some situations, and the terms "Armored Trooper" "AT", "VOTOMs", "Roller Dash", "Pile Gun", "Scopedog", "Battling", "Real Battle", "Red Shoulder Battalion", "Gilgamesh", and probably a couple of others that I can't remember right now, belong to Sunrise and Ryousuke Takahashi. Every other situation, character, and term is funcked up shint from my imagimanation. Copyright October 1998. Warning: My knowledge of proper punctuation is severely lacking. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Mechacide An Armored Trooper VOTOMs Gaiden by David Guerra(redshoulder@juno.com) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Prologue 1: Crash Test Fantasies "...my Precious Little..." [Kimon had locked herself inside her Armored Trooper, Precious Little, and was contemplating unrelated and usually irrelevant thoughts before her upcoming match, as she always did.] Kimon- [thinking to herself.] You're so beautiful. So perfect. You are a beautiful machine. A machine. You don't have to feel. You only have to look. You look upon this miserable universe with cold, dead eyes. Objective eyes. You see nothing more than what is there to see. You don't judge it. You don't remember it and you don't think about it. You will never have to... have to face or contemplate any fears. Fears of death. Fears of life. Fears of pain. Or nightmares. You don't dream. You just persist as a tool of man until some point at which you will cease to be useful or cease to function or are otherwise discarded. Even through this, your constant, certain, unblinking, and unflinching gaze will never waver. You will never look up in anger. You will never look away in disgust, or down in shame. That is what it is to be a machine. To achieve total consistency of perception. Consistency of sight, consistency of mind, and consistency of feeling. That is what I want. To never feel and to never think. Just to see. Just to see only what there is to see and nothing more. I want my thoughts, decisions, and actions to be decided for me. I want to function consistently and usefully as a being devoid of ego and considerations for self. To be controlled externally. To never have to account for meaningless concerns. To be a machine. I want to be a machine. If I was a machine, you and I, Precious, would be sisters. ********************************************************************** [Cranky Bull Roller Dashed for cover behind a giant pillar as Precious Little fired her rifle. Cranky Bull then dashed out from behind the pillar to Precious' left where he knew her rifle was not aiming. He fired and scored several hits to her left leg. Precious feigned a limp as she ducked behind the nearest pillar. Precious was safe for the moment, then, suddenly, Professor Daibidh Garrison, Kimon's surrogate father and supplier of advanced ATs, disturbed the solemnity of Precious' cockpit.] Prof- Your cockpit heating and cooling system seems to have suddenly stopped functioning. Kimon- Sabotage won't save him, Professor. Prof- I... I... [Even as the heat quickly escalated to uncomfortable levels, Kimon remained completely unflustered and deadly calm, as she always did during combat. Bellisar Saph, the pilot of Cranky Bull was the second to interrupt Kimon's quiet solitude.] Bellisar- I don't want to kill you, Kimon. Please surrender. I beg you. [Once Cranky Bull had reached a point only a few feet away from Kimon's pillar, she charged from hiding straight towards it, firing wildly. Surprised that Precious' leg was suddenly operating normally, Cranky Bull made a rocket-assisted leap forward and over Precious. Precious used her powerful Pile Guns to instantly halt and quickly spin 180 degrees in place. Cranky Bull landed as Kimon fired her rifle at it's backpack, destroying the rocket nozzles there and exploding the reaction fluid and shotgun ammunition inside. Cranky Bull lost balance and fell as Precious lunged forward firing at it's legs, disabling them. Once close enough, she crushed Cranky Bull's right-side auto-shotgun-arm underfoot. Cranky Bull managed to turn around to lie on it's back and slash at Precious' rifle with it's left-hand-mounted Wicked Cutter- a large circular saw. The saw struck her rifle's barrel so Precious swung the now-usless weapon as a club to knock the Wicked Cutter out of Cranky Bull's hand and disable the arm- this was a special ability of the rifle that had only recently been implemented: a reinforced structure. Standing victorious before her vanquished foe, Precious Little retrieved her signature finishing weapon from her back and placed it against the face of Cranky Bull. It was a Pile Glove- a large claw that attached to Precious' left hand, with fingers made of the modified retractable-spike-firing Pile Guns used on most AT's feet as brakes.] Bellisar- [thinking to himself] I didn't let you win, and I'm not going to let you be responsible for the foolish death I've brought upon myself... ...I love you, dearly. [Saph began to weep as his heart shattered into miniscule fragments, and he pulled the trigger of the pistol whose barrel was at the base of his skull. Kimon would never find out that, just before she struck her fatal blow, Saph had killed himself in his cockpit- but she wouldn't have cared anyway.] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Episode 1- Crash Test Dreams "It was a dark and stormy night." [Sitting at a round table in King Arthur's Knight Club were five of the best AT pilots in The Grateran League of Battling Experimentals or GLoBE. It was the largest AT arena combat league on planet Gratera, and it only hosted so-called "Battling Experimental" ATs. In practice, any AT pilot could join the league with any AT and call it a BX, but they would probably not rise very high in the ranks of the league, whose upper echelons consisted of genuinely ultimate preformance prototype ATs. All teams in the league had to have five members in order to be recognized officially, and these particularly successful five were known as the Crash Test Maniacs. In clock-wise fashion sat first a quiet, grumpy-looking girl wearing glasses with small, circular, shaded lenses; a man with a mischevious grin who casually but constantly turned a pencil with his middle, fore-finger and thumb; a duller looking older gentleman with three, two-foot-long braids; a lively and somewhat over-weight, yet still sexy, young woman with an unpealed banana in front of her; A tall, fat, calm brute with an immense air of candor about him. Independant pilots were also common, but teams had to consist of five because the League felt that if advertisements focused on promoting groups instead of individuals, then fans would probably attend five times as many boughts. All the Crash Test Maniacs periodically sipped various non-alcoholic beverages.] Guy 1- What the hell is that? Guy 2- I told you- it's the worst first line to a story ever. Guy 1- How do you know? Guy 2- I heard it somewhere. Guy 1- In other words, it's hearsay, third-hand knowledge, unreliable, in other words, right? Guy 2- Well, yeah. Guy 1- So where'd you hear it? Guy 2- I don't remember. Gal 1- I've heard it before, too. Guy 1- So have I, but look at what Bongib just did. He offers me some useless fact, and then he can't back it up. Gal 1- He asked if you wanted to hear what the stupidist first line was and you said: "Yeah". You just said yeah, even though you already knew the answer, so you could make him look stupid afterwards because you knew that he couldn't support it since nobody ever has. Guy 1- Yup. Gal 1- Don't say yup, damnit. I just did to you what you did to Bongib. Guy 1- Yup. Guy 3- Bunba, stop scrutinizing people; Epa, stop scrutinizing Bunba. Epa- Fuck you. Bunba- Yup. Bongib- I've got something else. Bunba- What? Bongib- What's the only area in a public bathroom that's as dirty as everywhere else but everybody's willing to touch it? Bunba- Who the fuck cares? Guy 3- I do. What is it? Bongib- Try to guess, Imurl. Imurl- I've got no idea. Epa- The handle you flush the toilet with. Bongib- Well... Uuh... I guess that's another one... But there's still a less obvious one. Imurl- The toilet paper, the seat? Bongib- Umm... Yeah... Uuh... but there's still one more. Bunba- There's an awful lot of problems with this bathroom riddle. Are you ever going to learn how to think things through before you open your mouth? Bongib- I thought I thought this through... Bunba- Sure you thought that, but you're sort of a retard. Bongib- I'm not a retard you moron, don't insult my stupidity! Bunba- Slow yourself down a little, old boy. I think you're getting way too worked up there. What you just did is call yourself stupider than a retard, is what you just did. Think about it for a second. Bongib- Stop trying to befuddle me! [Bunba and Bongib began laughing at themselves until the second woman at the table spoke up.] Gal 2- The faucet handles. Bongib- That's it! Imurl- Hmm. Epa- Ugh. Bunba- Fuck. Bongib- You got it, Kimon. I didn't think anybody would get it. Kimon- Hmph. Bunba- What a riddle... Epa- On a totally unrelated note- did any of you hear what Shakra did to Sutobi Zuou in their Real Battle match last night? Bongib- He's- er... WAS, I guess... Crumblingwall's pilot from Mason Stone's gang, wasn't he? Bunba- Of course, fool... Epa- Anyway, I heard she pulled him out of his AT and ripped his guts out with some new sort of fancy AT claw. Bunba- I heard that she didn't so much rip his guts out as twist them out, is what I heard. Imurl- It's called an Exclaw. I think it was devoloped from some sort of digging or excavating implement or something. She had it made just for that match. Bunba- Were you there? Imurl- No, but I talked to a fan of her's who took pictures. Bunba- Did he/she get the twisting part? Imurl- She, and yes, she sure did. Goriest thing I've ever seen. Shakra's Plumed Serpent had assorted viscera splashed all over it. Bunba- "Assorted viscera"? Imurl- Um, yeah. Bunba- Where'd you get a term like that? Epa- Shut the fuck up, Bunba! Imurl- Anyway, the reason she did it was- Epa- Come on, let me tell it! It turns out that her- Imurl- [Imurl interrupted laughingly.] Go ahead. Epa- LIKE I WAS SAYING- her favorite book, or story or something, is this thing called "Flux Robo". Bunba- It's a cartoon. Epa- For fuck's sake, what's it matter? She likes it. Bunba- It's a stupid cartoon. The new version is a lot better. Epa- I've never seen it. Would you kindly stuff it the fuck up for a sec? Bunba- Yup. Epa- Yee-argh! She likes it. End of story. Bunba- Cartoon. Epa, Bongib, and Imurl- SHUT UP! Epa- Sutobi likes it, too, however, somehow he got to know one of the writers for it, or maybe they were friends already. They worked together to totally revamp it- Imurl- They were friends already. Epa- So anyway, they changed the whole thing, AND NO, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW!! Imurl- Alright. [Shakra was walking toward a table with 2 of her Troop Serpent teammates when she turned her head toward the conversation at Crash Test Maniacs' table.] Epa- After getting a look at the new product, she immediately challenged Sutobi to a Real Battle match. She hated him, or maybe more accurately, his GUTS, so much for what he did to "Flux Robo", that she got in a match with him where she would be free to EVISCERATE him. Is that insane or what? Kimon- Hmph. Bunba- Where are all these big words coming from? [Shakra glided up gracefully behind Epa.] Shakra- Did I hear the name "Flux Robo"? Epa- Umm... Uuh... Yeah. Bunba- Epa was just remarking on how much she enjoyed the changes that came about recently. Epa- [mouthing the words] You will die, Bunba... Shakra- WHAT?! THAT TRAVESTY?! If I weren't in such a good mood today, I'd offer to give to you what I gave to that pig, Sutobi Zuou, yesterday. Bunba- And what would that be, Ms. Ahskar? Epa- [mouthing again] So fucking dead... Shakra- A taste of my Exclaw, of course. Specially blended for the likes of "Flux Robo: Romance of the Beasts" fans. Epa- Bunba was kidding, Ms. Ahskar. I've never even seen "Flux Robo". Shakra- You certainly don't look the type. And what was your intention in bringing up these false allegations, "Bunba"? Bunba- Heh, fun. Shakra and Kimon- Hmph. Shakra- Pray I never challenge you to a "Romance of the Beasts" grudge match, "Bunba"[Shakra intoned the name with great distaste]. Bunba- I surely will not pray, but I certainly may hope. Shakra- Hmph. Imurl- What you did was sort of wrong, wasn't it, Ms. Ahskar? Shakra- At least I did it RIGHT. Imurl- There's no right way to do a wrong thing. Shakra- Nonense. There are always means available, in any endeavor, to increase benefit while minimizing deficit. That, and right/wrong, good/evil do not exist, except in your demented psyche. Imurl- Whatever pleases you for now, young lady. [Shakra left the quintet in disgust with a wave of her cape, mumbling the words: "For now."] Bunba- She really got you there, Imurl. At what point do those Triskian sensabilities of yours come in handy, anyway? Imurl- When it matters. [All was suddenly and momentarily quiet at Crash Test Maniacs' table. Kimon broke the silence.] Kimon- I have to go see the Professor and talk to him about some modifications for Precious. Bye. Imurl and Epa- Bye. Bongib- See you. Bunba- Later, alligator. And let's see if we can't go a day without saying "Hmph.", huh? Kimon- Grr. [A man called Bellisar Saph slowly began to make his way to Kimon's table as he saw that she was about to leave.] Bunba- Watch out, Kimon. Here comes your main love interest. [Kimon abandoned the remaining quartet experiencing a peculiar brand of unfocused disgust that was normal for her. She didn't even look at or listen to Bellisar Saph, member of the Erubescent Shoulder Tribe, as he futily, as always, attempted to make a successful pass at her with a really excellent line. She glanced at a digital clock on the wall and it read 6:21 pm. At their table, Epa, Bongib, and Bunba continued to playfully bicker as Imurl played mediator- as always, and until forever.] ********************************************************************** [Kimon entered Hangar 73-21, the AT storage area designated for all Crash Test Maniac's vehicles and equipment. Nextdoor was a private space used exclusively by Professor Garrison where no one beside him was granted unfetered access. Kimon knocked on the door that lead inside there and received no response.] Kimon- Professor? [Kimon left the door and walked towards her AT, Precious Little. It was fifth in line from the main entrance standing behind 4 GLoBE legends. Broad Scar, piloted by Epa Kichi, leader of Crash Test Maniacs; Mundane Noodle, piloted by Bongib Drillman; Blood Lemur, piloted by Bunba Rirago; and Platypus Nutcracker piloted by Imurl Patterson Anzichim. When she reached Precious, Kimon initiated a motion as if she was going to put a hand on Precious' leg but suddenly stopped and returned the hand to a pocket on her pilot suit.] Bunba- Hey, Kimon! [Kimon turned only her eyes toward the voice.] Kimon- Yes? Bunba- I thought you said you were coming here to discuss gizmos with the Professor or something. I've been here for the last 2 hours, and when I got here I asked the Professor what sort of equipment you'd discussed with him and he said he hadn't seen or spoken to you today. Kimon- [Kimon turned her attention back to Precious] Hmph. Bunba- You didn't lie to us, did you? [Bunba was smirking and seemed sure that he was on to something interesting when Epa appeared behind him holding a small box whose cover bore the image of two scantily-clad men embracing beneath the gaze of a weathered and battle-scarred Scopedog.] Epa- Bunba, I've got the new volume of Battle Lust. It's the one that features that gay porn star who's supposed to be a look-alike of you. Bunba- Really? This I've gotta see. [Bunba then thought to himself, still smirking] We'll solve this mystery of your whereabouts later, Kimon. [Kimon watched as Bunba and Epa walked to the back of the hangar and then followed them through the hallway there to a small room at the far end. Bunba and Epa sat down on a 3-seat couch in front of a large flat-screen TV after placing the "Battle Lust #7" video in the VCR. Kimon walked towards the open doorway and stood there quietly with a stern, disapproving look on her face and her arms folded across her chest. She suddenly noticed that a pencil had appeared seemingly out of nowhere in Bunba's hand and he was slowing turning it as he watched the TV.] Bunba- So what's this about, anyway? Epa- Two ace AT pilots on opposite sides of the Third Galaxy War who battle each other many times on many campaigns without either of them winning. By some twist of fate, they meet each other just before the end of the war, each one not knowing that the other is their unbeatable nemesis, and they fall in love. The plot sort of ends there. Except that they have one last battle and mortally wound each other. They die in each others arms. Bunba- Wierd. The writer thinks the Third War is going to end. It's already lasted a hundred years, and I don't think it's slowing down. Damn optimists. [Epa's eyes were locked on the screen and she didn't reply. After the movie went on for a few minutes, Bunba and Epa began to bicker over whether the main character in the video looked like Bunba or not.] Bunba- Doesn't look a damn thing like me. Epa- Sure he does. He's a little prettier than you, though. [Bunba suddenly became excited.] Bunba- HOLY FUCK! That's Emily Jazaan, isn't it? Do women actually get it on in gay porn? Epa- Actually, that's her brother, Alex. He's a friend of the director. Bunba- Holy fuck! He sure makes an unbelievable woman. Epa- This was just a cameo he did to tease his fans. Bunba- Tease? Epa- He's gay, but supposedly he's celibate, because intimate contact with either gender is completely repulsive to him. [Epa pauses for a moment, considering something.] What a perfect guy. [Alex Jazaan was a member, along with his sister, of the GLoBE team "Erubescent Shoulder Tribe" and was the hugely-talented pilot of the AT "Hazardous Fringe". His time spent in the Red Shoulder Battalion had turned him from pretty-boy heterosexual to total homosexual. Not because he had been raped, or treated like a woman or because of some other sexual trauma, but because he had retreated into his gay persona as his humanity was systemically taken away during training and through the brutal and sadistic campaign tactics ordered by his superiors. Though he greatly enjoyed the company of friendly and personable young men, he was destined to never consummate a relationship due to his great disgust toward sex, the cause of which was a totally mystery. On TV the 2 aces were about to meet in battle for the first time. The Bunba look-alike, who represented Gilgamesh, had just broken up with and abandoned his weeping girlfriend, played be Alex, leaving in his AT to defend the city he was stationed at.] Bunba- I didn't know you were a fan of Alex. Epa- [Epa never took her eyes from the screen.] Well, I don't know if I'm exactly a fan, at least not Battling-wise, but he'd sure be the number one member of my fantasy harem. He's a guy I could just talk to and never need to have sex with. Bunba- What a fucked up harem. Epa- Nah. What a fucked up Bunba. Bunba- Yup. Epa- Heh. Bunba- You know, I can't believe I've got fans who want to see me naked so bad that they'd watch look-alikes of me. Well... [The handsome and dashing Battling star smiled as he spoke.] maybe I can believe it. Heh. But anyway, I think I'm going to get out of here before the gay sex scenes fuck me up some more. See ya, Epa. Enjoy your "erotic drama". Epa- [still engrossed by the AT action and cursing pilots on screen.] See ya. [Bunba stood up, smiling, thinking to himself how peculiar Epa's porn habit was, now that he'd finally witnessed a bit of it for himself. He then turned to Kimon in the doorway and excused himself from the room. After walking a few steps he returned to her.] Bunba- Kimon? Kimon- [Again, she turned only her eyes toward him, expecting more badgering scrutiny from the great Sherlock Holmes himself about her private activities.] Yes? Bunba- Does that turn you on? Kimon- [Kimon replied calmly and flatly.] No. Bunba- Then what does? Kimon- [Kimon hesitated for several moments, as if trying to find the words to describe some personal feeling impossible for a separate being to understand. She then answered simply.] Nothing. [In her mind danced the words: hatred, anger, torment, death, murder, injustice, the triumph of villains, the failure of heroes, and more than anything, the suffering of the innocent. Bunba suddenly returned to his earlier target of scrutiny.] Bunba- Did you come here after you left the bar, or not? [Kimon scowled then opened her mouth slightly as if about to speak when Professor Garrison interrupted her reply.] Prof- So there you are, Kimon! Bunba, has been bothering me all day about you. I guess you've found her, eh, Bunba? Well come with me Kimon, we need to see about that little modification to your rifle. [Kimon followed Garrison back to his private lab as Bunba abandoned his interrogation and went on his way.] ********************************************************************** [Inside his lab, Garrison lit up a cigarette and then showed Kimon the changes he'd made to her AT's rifle.] Prof- I must have been in the bathroom when you got here. Why exactly was Bunba so interested in knowing where you were? Kimon- This room smells terrible. [He took the cigarette from his mouth and looked at it for a moment.] Kimon- Why did you decide to start smoking? Prof- Can't I stink my laboratory up any way I please? Kimon- The smell is getting into the main hangar. Prof- Well, I... Kimon- Why did you start? You are an old man. This habit can only result in a shameful death for you. Prof- And a dead body no deader than one from an AT bested in Real Battle. [Kimon considered this silently. She, alone among the Crash Test Maniacs, had a genuine "battle lust". The rest were satisfied with odd habits and neuroses, and only fought in the Battling for income. Epa was a connoisseur of male homosexual pornography, but also, for some reason, had a constant need to eat bananas. She always kept one in a special baggy pocket which she'd sewn to all her clothes. This, more than once, led to the odd exchange with a new acquaintance: "Is that-" "Yes, it's a banana." Bunba was just sort of insane, always criticizing and scrutinizing everyone and everything around him, but much more bizarre- he always needed to turn a pen or pencil-sized object in his hand whenever he sat down. Nobody knew if he somehow also did it while in the cockpit of his AT, but nobody ever actually lost any sleep wondering about it either. Imurl was relatively well-adjusted, but very active in the local Triskian community. He went to The Church of Boundless Generousity every Saturday and Sunday morning, and donated 20% of every Battling prize to it. Bongib was sort of an old coot always chasing older skirts. They all usually opted for "Regular Game" combat, in which pilots only battled until one AT was wrecked or a pilot surrendered. Kimon, on the other hand, relished a merciless execution for her defeated adversaries. "Real Battle" combat offered battles exclusively to the death. It also boasted incredible bounties for victory, but still, there were simply too few temeritous fortune-seekers to satisfy her hunger. Real Battle was most often used only to settle mortal grievances, and, in her own indirect way, Kimon decided to reveal to Professor Garrison the initiating stage of her plan towards hopefully generating a few.] Kimon- I've got a match Wednesday. It's Real Battle. Prof- Today's Monday, right? Who do you need to kill so soon? Kimon- Belissar Saph. Prof- Do you have a habit of killing your suitors or are you just going to start making it one? Kimon- Suitors? Prof- What makes you want to kill harmless, young Mr. Saph? Kimon- It was his idea to have a match. Prof- Belissar Saph, attempting romance again? Kimon- Yeah, but I decided to make it Real Battle. Prof- That must have made things a bit awkward. Kimon- For him. Prof- I'd say: "I guess he'll never learn." but it would be true, wouldn't it? Kimon- Probably. Prof- Are you sure you want to do this? The boy is only trying to make that perpetual frown that passes for your face, into a smile. Kimon- Maybe, but he blundered it, and he's got to accept the consequences. Prof- The consequences of infatuation with Kimon Gutanoran? Kimon- That, too. Prof- Your teammates aren't going to like this, especially Bunba. Is that where you were all day? The League office? Kimon- None of them will know until it's too late, and yes. Prof- So what got into Bunba's craw? Kimon- When I left the Knight Club, I told them I was coming here to see you. Prof- And you hadn't been here when Bunba got here. I see. Bunba was being his obtrusive, young self. You didn't lie, though, did you? Kimon- No. Bellisar confronted me in the parking lot at the Knight Club and challenged me to a match. He became over-joyed when I accepted, and we walked together to The Office. [Kimon remembered in revulsion, that vile trek with the detested fool, Bellisar at her side.] We got there in about an hour and worked out the details of the match. Prof- What an ungracious deception you pulled. I can't believe he's going to fight you anyway. Kimon- He probably thinks he'll win and can spare my life. Prof- Kimon, why do you hate him? He's young- and good-looking, as far as I can tell. He's an awefully nice boy, and he's younger than you, too. Imagine the sex! Kimon- [She didn't offer any answer, and had a picture- delightful to her- in her mind of a Precious the same size as Saph with metal hands on his throat. Then she had an amusing thought which she didn't state outloud.] If you think he'd be so great, why don't you go out with him? [It was the kind of lame comment she would always and forever refuse to actually utter.] Prof- I can't talk you out of this, can I? [Kimon changed the subject again.] Kimon- I've had the horrible dream again. It's been six nights in a row since Tuesday. Prof- A new subject, I see. It's been months since the last time, though. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Well, I really don't know what to say. Why don't you describe it again for me? Kimon- Well, I'm looking down on myself. I'm in a bed, as a little girl with a sheet up to my neck, and I'm in a pitch black room. Then I become the girl in the bed and look at two people standing in a brightly-lit doorway. They're my parents. My father says something and then closes the door, removing the only source of light. Prof- Can you remember what he said this time? Kimon- No. I have no idea. They smile when he says it. I think their closing the door means they're abandoning me to darkness, but I can't remember how I feel when they do it during the dream. The things I can't remember are what make the dream so horrible. And seeing my parents... I need to kill somebody. Prof- [The Professor inaudibly reflected on the last statement.] It's very unfortunate that Bellisar Saph had to end up in such an incredibly unfortunate place at such a horrendously unfortunate time...