From: pattymc@smartlink.net (McHorney) Subject: [XOver][FanFic] A Collection of Short Stories X-Moderation-Queue-Date: Sat, 29 Apr 2000 22:42:27 GMT Here is a colection of short, silly fics, collected for one post so as not to annoy the moderators. Note: Tenchi Muyo, All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku-Nuku, Kimagure Orange Road, Ranma 1/2, Oh! My Goddess, Bubble Gum Crisis, Cowboy Bebop and Neon Genesis Evangelion all belong to others.. as if you didn't already know that. Curses ***** Ranma looked triumphantly at the genie and said, "Now I get one wish for anything I want." The genie sighed, "yes, you bested me in three contests and now you get your wish." "What are you going to wish for, Ranma," Akane hesitantly asked. "Are you kidding?" Ranma said to her, then he turned to the genie. "I wish to have my curse removed. The genie squinted at Ranma and said, "Which one, you're under 9 separate curses." "Nine?" Ranma said, his mouth agape. "What curses are he under," Akane asked, reinging in her surprise. The genie held up a hand with far too many fingers and counted them off, "Let's see, he's under a Jusenkyou curse to turn into a girl, a curse to always say the wrong thing at the wrong time, a curse to attract too many fiances. Not much of a curse that if you ask me." Ranma and Akane glared at the genie. He coughed lightly and continued counting, "A curse to act like a cat when near one, a curse to attract trouble, a curse to have friends become enemies, a curse to attract high powered fighters, a curse to endlessly fight with your true love and finally," the genie raised an eyebrow, "a curse to have a small box turtle drop on the head of a descendent 11 generations removed. That last one is curtsey of someone named Hikaru Gosunkugi." Ranma and Akane looked at each other, then Ranma said, "Oh, can I get all of them removed?" The genie rubbed his chin thoughtfully then said, "All but the one about the turtle, that one seems to be pretty well stuck in there. Is that your wish?" "Um, yeah, remove all the curses on me that you can." "Are you sure that that is your final wish?" Ranma started to growl a little, "Yes, that's my wish and I'm sticking to it." With a snap of his fingers the genie said, "Granted," and disappeared. "Well, that was easy," Akane said. Ranma's first impulse was to say something insulting, but instead he said, "Yeah, let's go home, it's my turn to cook you dinner. 215 years later: Spike Speigle walked down a street on Ganymede with Jet when something hit him in the head. "Ow," he said as he picked up something from the ground. "What's up Spike?" Jet asked. "This turtle just hit me in the head." Spike shruged and tossed it over his shoulder. End. ------------------------------------------------------------------ A Butterfly in China ****** Nothing occurs in a vacuum. Every action, no matter how insignificant will have an effect on something else. Sometimes the effects will be small and unnoticeable, and other times they spiral far out of proportion from the original action, or, as the saying goes: a butterfly in China flaps it's wings and starts a hurricane in Florida. For example, take the events happening in Washu's lab. Washu scooted her chair from console to console as she checked the status of her experiment. "Hmm," she mumbled to herself, "beta rays are a little low in block 14." She fiddled with another console, then felt a presence behind her. "Please don't let it be..." she trailed off as she turned around, then with a sigh said, "Mihoshi. What are you doing here?" "Oh, uh Sasami wanted me to tell you that dinner's ready and," Mihoshi's head swiveled around, trying to look at everything at once. "Wow, what's that?" she asked running up to one of the monitors. "No!" Washu screamed, don't touch that," Mihoshi's hand came down right on a big red button as she looked closely into the monitor. "Button," Washu forlornly said as she heard one of her generators revving up. The generator sent a pulse of energy along a conduit and out of Washu's lab. It raced to a transmitter then up into space, striking a satellite. The satellite adjusted itself and fired the beam back to Earth, hitting a young, female android named Emi. Emi picked herself up off the ground and looked across the street at where her rival Nuku-Nuku was looking in a shop window. She marched across the street and spun Nuku-Nuku around. "You did that on purpose, didn't you," Emi accused. Nuku-Nuku scratched the back of her head, "Did what on purpose Emi-chan?" "You know what you did," Emi growled and tackled Nuku-Nuku. "Yay, Nuku-Nuku hasn't played all week," the semi-feline android said and knocked Emi fifteen feet away, through a parked car. Several people ran for shelter, but some just stood and stared. Emi jumped up and pulled a missile launcher out of her backpack. She fired at Nuku-Nuku, who easily dodged the assault. Kyosuke looked up at the missiles coming straight at him. I knew I shouldn't have come to Nerima he thought to himself, then, with a burst of intense concentration he disappeared out of the path of the missiles and reappeared several blocks away. Just in time to get grabbed by the back of the shirt and pulled out of the path of a bus. Kyosuke looked at the bus, then at the fanged boy who saved him and turned a little green. "Are you all right," Ryoga asked, "you know, it's kind of dangerous to practice marital arts maneuvers like that near busses. Silently Kyosuke thanked his ancestors. He thinks it was only martial arts, my secret's safe, he thought. "Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. Thank you for saving me. Well, I'll just be going now." "Wait," Ryoga said. Kyosuke tensed to run, then Ryoga said, "do you know how to get to Furinkan High?" "Huh?" was Kyosuke's eloquent reply. Then he looked around to get his bearings and pointed, "Yes, Furinkan is just that way and left. You can't miss it." "Thank you," Ryoga said, and headed 90 degrees of where Kyosuke pointed. Kyosuke shook his head and said, "No, it's that way." Again, Ryoga started off in the wrong direction. Kyosuke sighed, "Why don't I just take you there. The look of gratitude was immediately apparent, "Thank you. I'm Ryoga Hibiki, what's your name?" Kyosuke paused for a moment, then held out his hand and said, "Kyosuke Kasuga." He led Ryoga to the gates of Furinkan high then said, "I have to go, thanks again for the help with the bus." "It was no problem, thank you for helping me get here." Ryoga watched as Kyosuke walked away, then focused on the front of the building and the students that were just now beginning to come out. From the doorway he heard one call out, "Ranma, looks like that umbrella guy's here again." "Huh," Ranma said as he leaped out of a second floor window and landed next to the student. In response he just pointed at the charging Ryoga. "Ranma, prepare to die," Ryoga screamed as he threw a kick at Ranma. Ranma dodged and said, "Hey Ryoga, it's been three months man, I was starting to get worried. Who knows what happens to little piggies out in the world these days." Then Ranma ran to the school wall and leaped over. Ryoga turned bright red as he charged after Ranma, "Ranma, you bastard, I'm going to kill you for that." Ranma snickered, "So what were you going to do before, just maim me?" He dodged two flying bandannas as he accidentally bumped into someone, then leaped over another wall into traffic. Without a second thought Ryoga followed. Urd groaned from where Ranma had knocked her to the ground. She shook her head to clear it and said to herself, "I came this far from home to stop this sort of thing from happening." Then she looked down at the empty vial in her hand. "Oh no," she said, "my love potion." Nervously she looked over the hedge and saw two young children. From the look of their clothes and faces they had been fighting a few seconds earlier. Now they were hugging. "C'mon Takashi, let's play house." "Ok, Hikaru, I'll do whatever you want." A drop of sweat formed on the back of Urd's head as she creeped away. Several years later, 2013: Hikaru lay back, exhausted as she watched her husband Takashi hold their new baby for the first time. "Do you have a name picked out yet?" the doctor asked. Hikaru smiled and said, "Priscilla. Priscilla Sayoko Asagiri." Takashi smiled at his daughter and cooed, "Priss, welcome to the world." So one could almost say that the butterfly Mihoshi is directly responsible for the hurricane Priss. The End. ------------------------------------------------------------- When Timing Sucks ******** "Let me get this straight," Ranma said as he stared at the woman who came out of his teacup, "I get any wish I want? No strings, or," Ranma shuddered, "fiancees?" Skuld sighed, "yes, any wish that you can think of." Skuld hated the dense ones. Akane looked at her fiance, "Do you know what you're going to wish for Ranma?" "Of course I know what I wanna wish for, a cure for my curse." Ranma turned to Skuld, "I want." Akane stopped him by putting a hand on his arm, "What about all the other cursed people we know, you can help them out too." Ranma sat and thought for a second, then with a smile turned to Skuld and said, "All right, I want everyone who has a Jusenkyou curse to be cured." The mark on Skuld's forehead glowed bright blue and shot a beam of energy into the sky. Then she looked at Ranma, smiled and said, "Your wish has been granted, now I'm out of here." She dove back into his teacup. Ranma and Akane sat in shock until Akane got up, grabbed a glass of cold water and splashed it on Ranma. Nothing happened. Ranma jumped up and started dancing around the room, while Akane watched, a smile on her lips. Cat Cafe: "Stupid Mousse leave Shampoo alone," Shampoo said and splashed Mousse with a glass of water. Mousse sighed, then realized that something was different. Looking down he saw he was still human. Shampoo picked up another glass and splashed it on him with the same results. "What Mousse do?" "I didn't do anything," Mousse said. He picked up a glass of water and splashed Shampoo. Again, nothing happened, "I think we may have been cured." Shampoo clapped her hands together in joy, then grabbed Mousse and started jumping up and down with him. After a second she realized what she was doing and broke a table over his head. "Shampoo go find Ranma," she said and ran out of the restaurant. Gold's Gym, Tokyo branch: Ryoga the piglet bumped into another wall. Damn, Ryoga thought to himself as he tried to wander through the women's changing room with his eyes closed, why do I always end up in these situations. Being a pig was the only thing saving him from severe pain. Being in a room full of semi-clad women was bad, being in a room of semi-clad bodybuilders was sure to cause a very bad day for one bandanna clad boy. Fortunately a pig is far less likely to be pummeled. Then he heard the voices, "Oh, look at the little piggy, it keeps running into walls." Other times being a pig can suck. Ryoga felt a pair of hands pick him up and cradle him next to something soft. At least this can't get any worse, he thought. Then he felt the change. The last thing he thought before being pummeled into oblivion was, Somehow, Ranma's responsible for this. Recently re-built Saotome household: "Genma, that's this I hear about cat-fist training?" Nodoka called down the hallway. Genma heard the sound of a blade coming free of it's sheath and dove for a nearby glass of water. He splashed himself and sighed in relief, no one would hurt a panda. Then he realized that something was amiss. He splashed himself again, with the same effect, just as Nodoka entered the room. She pointed her blade at his trembling form and said, "It's time we had a little talk, husband." Somewhere over the Sea of Japan: Taro the flying yeti-bull was bored, there's just nothing to do on these long flights over water. No change of scenery, no sight of land and a lack of flight instruments Taro had nothing to do but fly away from the sun and try and spot dolphins. Lacking anything else to do he occupied himself with thoughts of how he would fly to Nerima and finally beat Happosai into change his name Then, just for kicks, he'd show femboy just who was the toughest. Without any warning Taro felt himself change back into a human. With a curse he pulled out a water bottle and splashed himself, but with no effect. His last words were, "Oh shi.." as he fell into the water. Tendo Dojo: Ranma sat in the pond, relaxing. He looked over at Akane and started chuckling. Akane glared at him, "what's so funny?" Ranma smiled, "Just wonderin, who's gonna hate this cure the most, Kuno or the lech?" The End. ----------------------------------------------------------- "We've secretly replaced..." ******** Today we've secretly replaced Rei Ayanami's usual medication with Vivarin, caffeine pills and amphetamines. Let's see if anyone notices: "Asuka, Ayanami is bouncing up and down." "Yes, Shinji, she is." "And she's singing too. This isn't normal is it?" "No, Shinji, it isn't." The second and third child sat and stared at the bouncing first child. Rei stopped bouncing and with a maniacal grin plastered across her face said, "Shinji-kun." Asuka quickly backed away as Rei flew over and grabbed Shinji around the waist. Then she resumed jumping up and down, taking Shinji with her, as she sang, "Happy happy joy joy..." ***** Comments to stormwalker628@usa.net